Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?
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- Опубліковано 3 січ 2018
- ‘Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?’
Is it really a big deal to move in together? Should Christians live together before marriage? Is it wrong and a sin or just a gray area? Here we go! We decided it’s time to address this topic!😁
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Yes, yes, and yes! You guys are soooo on point here! I had a discussion about this in one of my college classes a few years ago and nearly everyone was saying what Morgan brought up: "how are you going know if they're the one if you don't live with them first?" Once again, rubbish! Haha if you love them, truly love them, you're not gonna get cold feet once you're married and discover other little quirks about them. Few people are up for real responsibility, I suppose, and real commitment. Also, Morgan, your hair is absolutely lovely :D Love the way you guys love one another; it's encouraging for me as a single girl and it's just really beautiful too :) Love you guys and keep shining
Tabby RH Hey hey hey!! Tabs, thanks so much for this comment. Yes and amen! God’s ways, though sometimes very countercultural, are the best and produce the greatest joy and peace in our lives. Keep being a light and standing for truth🙌!!
Tabby RH not rubbish its facts u find more on person. but i agree on still not doin it
Living together is a total different thing. You're gonna find out things you didn't know about your significant other, their habits, their behavior basically their best and their worst
Fuert Neigt lol
What if you live in two seperate rooms...? Why is love the biggest factor? Shouldnt compatibility matter? What if youre not sure you even want a marriage regardless of who it is? What if you dont know if you actually want to live with someone else for the rest of your life? I think living with someone before marrying them is a logical test. We view this as sin based on the stupidity of purity culture, not the word of God. Living with someone =/= sleeping with them.
Hey Fam! Love to hear your thoughts on couples living together before marriage. What would you add? 😊
What if you move in together without having sex???
Paul and Morgan IS IT OK TO BUY A HOUSE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE? HE'S GOING TO LIVE IN IT AND THEN I WILL JOIN HIM ONCE WE'RE MARRIED.
Of course you can buy a house! If you're not living together then there's no problem, you're actually being rather practical and thinking ahead :)
Nick C .... Move in together without sex ? I don't know of anyone who is that strong. I know I'm not. I love sex too much to not go there. You would have to be the strong one, cause I'm not.
PAT WILLIAMS .... No.... Bad move. Do NOT buy anything together till you're married.
I've seen many relationships go sour.
I am a Christian and I lived with my boyfriend for 2 years and we never had sex. I think its rude to assume people are having sex just because they live together. It might not be the wisest choice, it definitely led to more temptation, but I don't think its black and white sin. Its a grey area, just like kissing or hugging before marriage.
Totally agree. Sometimes circumstances can cause people to live together before marriage. It is tough, no lie, but what marriage isn't tough. It's just important to keep purity through the temptation
Exactly, I have a Christian couple friends. Who’ve been together for 7 years (long distance) and just moved in together. Everyone thinks they’re having sex, but they say they’re not. I believe them. People shouldn’t be so judgemental. Not everyone is easily tempted
Sure, Jan...
First of all it's not rude for Paul and Morgan to say that it's not a good idea to live in the same house because their can be negative effects to it which they correctly explained in the video
It's called "Appearance of evil" in the Bible which it says we are not to do. Of course there's gray areas. But for instance, say a pastor walks into a strip club. We assume we know what he is doing. If there are evangelistic events to convert him then okay. Perhaps he just needed to use the restroom. But we want to do what we can to show people what's right. It's also putting yourself in the line of sin which is tempting like you said and we have to overanticipate for our flesh because the Bible says who can Know it? We are also typically taking from our marriage bed with the experience of living together. As in, taking Something that should be close and fun and intimate and doing it now
Compatibility can never be proven through living together because it's the living together, in a Godly commitment, that nurters compatibility. My wife and I have been married for 35 years, and I promise you we are not the same individuals we married. How can you live together long enough to experience all the changes that will occur over a lifetime of marriage? You cannot. Stay apart until you're ready to commit to one another. Then, take on life's blessings and challenges together in marriage with God at the center. Through this, you both will become one, living a beautiful life married... until death do you part.
Nick & Julie
Hey Nick and Julie! Wow so cool you guys checked us out😄😄
Amen to that! There is much wisdom in your words, agree 100%. God bless you guys and continue to bless your marriage! -Paul
I live with my boyfriend and his dad. We sleep in separate rooms and we've never had sex or even kissed. As shocking as it may seem, it is possible to abstain until marriage even when living together. And no, getting married won't be any less special for me or for him. We'll finally wake up to each other and have that lifelong covenant. We'll be able to become one and know each other completely.
Especially the part about baggage. I think it was in 'Boy Meets Girl' that Joshua Harris mentioned that the person who you'll spend the rest of your life with, is THE person that really deserves those intimacies with you.
Vlog with King haha love that. Amen to that!
You are on point. Amen. We are called to not be conformed this world. We are supposed to be set apart. I was living with my bf, got pregnant, and then recommitted myself to God after two years of backsliding. God convicted me and I couldn't shake it now matter how had I tried to justify it .. so I did one of the hardest things I've ever done and moved out with hardly any money, a 6 month old, and a little bit of faith. Let me tell u, God provided!!
Awe praise God, thanks for sharing🙏
My husband and I lived together at my parent's home before we got married. We had a short engagement too! We couldn't financially be stable paying two rents! He had his own room -- but I am sure people judged us. I don't care. I think everyone has a unique story.
The Moore Adventure Hey! That’s really interesting. I think it’s a little different if you’re living with parents. And nice job keeping the engagement short :) Did you find that it was difficult to stick to your physical boundaries being in the same home pre-marriage?
Not at all. Super simple. It's called self-control. If you truly know you are going to get married, it's extremely easy to respect the rules.
The Moore Adventure Wow, I feel like you all are the exception here :) Even living 60 miles apart, it was very difficult for Morgan and I to not cross physical boundaries.
Really?! It was so hard for me in the past -- but when I met Chahir and knew he was the one like THE ONE...it was easy peasy! But everyone is unique!!!
The Moore Adventure that’s awesome!!
Love this video , me and my fiance are getting married, havent lived together although we have had sex before marriage we both confessed our sins and are dedicated to being abstinent until marriage and starting over chasing god and doing things the right way. Sure we didnt start off that way but we thank god for his grace and forgiveness for us to start over chasing hard after god.
I know this video is already six months old but just to add a different opinion to the conversation: you said if you already live together, what's the point of getting married. That's such a sad statement to me because it assumes people only get married to have sex and men only propose to get a live-in housekeeper and cook. Surely, this is not (usually) the case!
Also: you mentioned in other videos how difficult your first year of marriage was and how much you had do accept, compromise on and get used to. We have been married for almost a year but have been in a very committed relationship for 5 years and were living together for 4 of those years. When we got married, it was a celebration of our love and a strengthening of our commitment to each other, not a buying the cow so you can get the milk situation (btw I HATE this analogy. women aren't cows!). Also, we did not have any (big) issues as those had already been resolved. And I agree, you can know a person very well without living together. But living together does add a whole new level of knowing them. Even small things like sleeping patterns and showering habits but also the bigger stuff that can easily lead to arguments such as: do they clean up after themselves? Even you both said in another video that you learned how different you were from each other after getting married and moving in. So you did not know EVERYTHING about each other before (which is normal).
I am a stron believer in living together before marriage and just wanted to add my viewpoints.
Have a nice day :)
TinyDancerVienna thank you!! You are so right
I feel like a lot of young religious people just get married to live together and get intimate. Because that is what their community does
Hello, I love how respectful and gracious your response is. Both Morgan and Paul hold a biblical worldview on marriage and this is what colours all of the content in their videos, including this one. I believe that the concept here is that any living arrangement which supports behaviour that will not be pleasing to God should not encouraged. God bless you in your union.
Hey! I think the reason they were saying “what is the point” is because when you get married it’ll be no different... because living together you’re given your S/O the same privileges or the same acts as you would do married and marriage only adds a title, also a confession of love of course but the way you do things don’t change and your relationship looks the same ultimately. That’s the way I saw it :)
The importance of marriage, marriage is the whole package(commitment),a wedding is the announcement to God and the world.Marriage is to love and to be loved, like a parent-child relationship,to teach and be taught. It is a CHOICE you make for forever and also everyday. It's hard enough staying pure when living seperately and you shouldn't gamble with that,why make it harder? Live with a friend and have them live with a friend too(the rent is shared here too). Let's not make keeping God's commandments a struggle for the one we love
I'm not a Christian, but I like watching Christian point of views. It's interesting. My husband and I dated for 2 years, then moved in together and lived together for a year, got engaged, was engaged for a year to save up money for the wedding and we've been married for 2 years happily. It's different for everyone.
😊
As a Christian myself your way is the "normal" way to get married. I want to live with my boyfriend before marriage to be sure that he really is the one I want to spent the REST OF MY LIFE with
Its not only whether its different for everyone cause y'all happy. We not only talking of us being happy but pleasing God in whatever we do. If doing something that does not please God but makes us happy, it is wrong. As Christians we have to walk in accordance to the word of God. Seeking to please God before ourselves
@@lumieremonde620 yeah I understand that. But like I said I'm not a christian. And I'm not about to go around telling others how they should live their life. As long as they aren't hurting anyone, I don't have an issue.
@@lizzylang9941 okay.
Love the emphasis on making the choice to continue to love. Marriage isn't a choice you make one, it's a choice you make every single day.
WayneWrz Amen to that! 100% right👍👍
i agree with yall on that. i lived with a man for 11 yrs who kept promising marriage that never happened. if u move in with someone it makes you or them or both complacent with it. and yes, they dont wanna buy a cow when a milk dispenser is readily available for them. i wish i could go back in time and not have moved in with him. it wasted alot of yrs and in the end i was left with nothing. a man that wants to live in sin is not someone who will probably end up wanting to marry you.
Still you are in sin. Do you realize that you promote that desire of living together in many men arousing them with your immodest appearance?
You shouldn't have to use that analogy. Living with someone isn't the issue. It's the guy. He wouldn't have married you no matter what. He wasn't good enough or something in you wasn't. I don't know. What I do know is cohabitation had nothing to do with it. He was just a douche
@@greyjezto4358 no cohabitating definitely had something to do with it. Many women have stories like this. Think about it, why would a man feel incentive to put a ring on it when his gf is already giving him husband privileges? In other words, why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free? Women have got to learn this. Moving in with your bf is very foolish.
@@ranip7644 And many women would have the same issue I listed above. Also, why is it just women? I'll tell you exactly why you should give him 'husband privileges'; because I take marriage seriously as a commitment to one partner for LIFE and before I was 22 I took it as a vow to the Lord as well. If we haven't had sex, if we haven't lived together, how in the blue hell do I know I want to say you're the only person I want to do that with for life and mean it. What you said proves exactly what I said earlier, if that's how he'd make moves either something's missing in you or something in him. You're calling the logical route that anyone who truly takes this seriously as marriage is would take to be foolish. If you marry a man then he finds out you only want lifeless sex 2 times a week and you're a pain in the ass to live with, he can still divorce ya. I wouldn't say that's moral, but it's the reality of it. I'd say it's more immoral to put your word on a life long contract without knowing +50% of the person and the actual life you're swearing on til death. On a legal front, after I've found out you're not a prude or we both are and we can get along sharing a home, why would I want to keep our bank details separate, not be able to have you by my hospital bed if I was in the ICU dying because 'family only', not get the tax savings, get less respect from others towards what we have? I'm sorry but what you're saying is contradictory, blatantly inaccurate, and very very immoral. I can make assumptions you sound bitter, but what's objectively known to be true is you're not very smart and I hope you don't get married because that'd basically trap a guy into non-wife material if he's man enough to be husband material
I don’t have a problem with not agreeing with living with someone before marriage . But I really hate the “you’ll have to explain your past to your partner “ if you’re with the right person and he truly loves you - he won’t judge you or shame you on your past . He would love you with what he perceives as your “baggage” or “mistakes”. And if he makes you feel bad about them - you probably shouldn’t be with him. AND if YOU really love your spouse then you wouldn’t be “comparing” anything . That’s not how mature adults act in real life . You guys haven’t had such an experience so you shouldn’t assume that everyone does those things .
Emma Moss Agree!!
I believe that when they said "you'll have to explain your past to your partner", it was more about how that person perceives what they did in their past relationships. Yes, I think God and others can love and accept people who have fallen short, but I think that it is more about if they feel guilty about what they have done. If they feel that they didn't follow what God wanted for them, then they may think of that as their "baggage". From there, I think that it is the other persons job or responsibility to make them realize that is in the past, and God died for their sins. I believe that if that person feels truly bad and realizes that they have sinned, then they will tell this other person about it out of love, they shouldn't need to be pushed.
strongly disagree and I agree with the Bible
Mature adults? Real life? Just read some news 😂
God has rules to make us happy, but “mature” adults break those rules to create “real” life ....
I know this is a super old video but I just wanted to say that my fiancé and I live together, we sleep in the same room, and we are having no issues with physical boundaries. I needed to get out of an unhealthy situation living at home, so we decided this was the best option for us. I struggle with feeling guilty sometimes, but i know that we aren’t doing anything that the Lord would condemn. The Bible doesn’t say, “don’t live together,” it says “ don’t have sex” and we aren’t (to be super clear, we aren’t doing ANYTHING sexual. We kiss on the lips but we don’t make out or anything like that.) what are y’all’s thoughts on this?
Relationships are about more than just sex. You can live with someone intimately and sex can be on the mind and not happen-not because you have a falling out. Simply because sex is awesome-yes, but relationships are deeper. Also marriage can act as a ball and chain that traps people in a relationships that can be damaging. I've personally seen it happen on more than one occasion. Not to say you shouldn't, but you should put a lot of thought into a relationship before you tie the knot. My biggest point of inspiration in marriage was my great grand parents. Married 74 years or so and it only ended when my great grandfather died at the age of 99. It can happen and last. But sex only accounts for 5% or less of a healthy relationship. Also the bible says to look at the log in your own eye before worrying about the splinter in another's. You shouldn't judge people for situations they find themselves in. It is how you grow. All sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord be it lying or premarital sex. Let the two find out the hard way the result of their actions. And you shouldn't judge people who choose to live together before marriage. Some people have more important things on their mind than premarital sex. Not to say living together before marriage is right, but rather than questioning and effectively using religion to bully, show, don't tell these people they are wrong. Befriend them and guide them through your own actions don't shove it down their throat that they are sinning.
You said in your comment "Let the two find our the hard way the result of their actions.", and I think they were attempting to make a different point. I believe that they are not trying to condemn or judge those who have done this, but to show them their view. By doing this, they are attempting to warn people before they get to the breaking point. I don't think they are shoving it down their throats either, because they mention multiple times in their videos that they are simply stating what they have found the Bible to say. They also encourage us to do our own research, and found out for ourselves.
But you arent looking at this in a moral way, but in a secular way....living together brings temptation, looks bad, even if you havent had sex....most will believe you have...the bible says to avoid all appearances of evil....you cannot do that as a Christian, and live together...it destroys your testimony! The whole point of avoiding sin, is to please God.....I dont see that at all in your statement.,..I see a couple playing at pleasing God....not pleasing God, but themselves! Its justifying your desires, without any moral convictions....it literally is a secular viewpoint, thinking you can live together without benefit if marriage, and God is ok with that? No, he isnt. And even when Christian's dont judge you, which by the way, there is righteous judgment....might want to look that one up in God's word.....God judges when a believer disobeys his standards....so you arent considering God in this, but other's opinions....God is omnipresent....he literally is watching!
@@declanmcleod9025 God is not a policeman
Great topic! I appreciate these videos.
Here's what I think: when you move in together with someone you're not going to marry, you're hurting each other. Because when you're in such an intimate relationship, you want the other person to stay forever and if they don't, you're going to feel betrayed even if you know they never promised you anything. I think we are just designed this way that we need marriage and we crave it and living together before marriage is just a fake remedy.
chant lyrique Thank You for this comment! I think what you are saying is right on. There’s much wisdom in waiting :)
Many couples do it because of money reasons. But who are we serving? God or money? 🤷🏽 I think the 3 main reasons christians still move in together even though they know its wrong are Money, Fear and Loneliness. I'm glad my husband and I weren't engaged for too long bc we were ALWAYS hanging out, in college, and away from family and it almost felt like we lived together. I think that's the case for a lot of couples(accept they're having sex) and they decide, "Well we might as well move in together." We need to come up with better solutions!
Candace McMasters Appreciate your insights. Yeah, I think you’re right on. Love the way you put that. Are we serving/trusting God and His best for our lives? Great comment!
I don’t really believe that it’s a black and white issue, i respect your opinions and you can do what ever you want but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t say not to move in with your spouse before you’re married but I could be wrong. On the who are we serving, money or god, if you move in together because you both will literally be homeless on the streets if you don’t and you live each other anyway and plan on getting married in the future I don’t feel like that’s serving money. Do you think god would rather you be miserable on the streets with nothing to eat? Or at home with someone you love. I don’t really think it’s black and white
@@campyouisthatway4099 I understand where you are coming from, and you are right the Bible doesn't say not to live together. This idea is a matter of opinion and our own ability to avoid temptation. This is because what Bible does say, is that we shouldn't have sex before marriage. Because God also tells us to run from lust and sexual temptation, we chose to remove this temptation entirely and work on knowing the person without living with them. And as Paul and Morgan said, they found that when they waited until they got married to live together, they didn't find out anything that completely turned them away from each other. If you are intentional about what you talk about and are both open before marriage, you don't need to move in together, and this will be both pleasing to God, and I believe better for the relationship also.
it is a black and white issue and I admire y'all for speaking so bluntly and just telling it like it is👍🏻👍🏻
Thank you, Celestria😊
My boyfriend and I live together and talk about getting married all the time though! If he really loves you he’ll want to marry you no matter what! And yeah sometimes people don’t want to get married and just live together and be together forever what’s wrong with that?
I know people like this, and as Christians we are not condemning you, but based on the Bible and our beliefs as Christians, we are called to live a different life. We are called to wait to be intimate and have sex until after marriage, and part of that is removing ourselves from being tempted in that direction. When you live with someone it becomes increasingly difficult to keep boundaries, not impossible, but very difficult for many people. So, when we talk about not living together before marriage, we simply want to convey that we want to do what is right based on the Bible and what God is telling us is best for our lives.
You guys are right with this! I think one main thing that was mentioned and especially on point was the fact that when you live together, you're setting yourselves up to sin (get intimate to the point of sex). Cohabitating isn't sinning necessarily but it's when you go beyond living in the same space and treating it as if you are already married physically, emotionally, and spiritually that things get hairy. If a man can't see why you can't live together and promises that he won't push the fornicating, he's most likely full of it (especially if either one of you has done it before or if his love language is physical touch). He may very well mean it, but it's hard to hold back when you've made it easy for yourselves to fall into it.
I 100% agree. I feel led to share my testimony to help someone else because I lived with my now ex fiance during our engagement stage which lasted 9 months and we were still carrying out our church duties on the praise and worship team. We had a very toxic relationship. We were living a lie. My Pastor, family members, even some friends all told us it was a bad idea but despite all the "try before you buy" excuses that people make the truth is we are impatient. That's why we make decisions like this one. We don't want to wait til the big day it's too hard. We allow our flesh to order our steps instead of God. The Holy Spirit convicted me in regards how me and my ex were behaving so I told my ex that I was going to move out until our wedding 8 weeks later. His response was a shocker and it showed me that he wasn't the man God intended for me to be with. I packed my bags, called off all plans and cancelled the wedding. Yes, people were upset and it was embarrassing but exactly one year on I am happy with my decision. I repented and turned my life back to God and He has revealed me who my husband is and I pray for him and pray that God will help me to prepare for the ministry of being his wife. Though we are not yet courting I trust God and his word. For it never returns to him void. I hope my story helps someone. Flee sexual temptation for your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and you are worth more than silver or Gold (or temporary lust relief) God Bless You x
Such a great topic and you are so right! Women cheapen themselves by moving in prior to marriage. You are correct, doing that negates marriage. Bible is clear- do not do this! You are right, women out there I meed have so much of this 'baggage' and it is such a turn off to me who has not done that ( and never will ).
I’m very intrigued by your point of what is the point in getting married if you can already have all the benefits of marriage by cohabitation. I think that’s what so many people believe and it why lots of people just live with one or multiple people without getting married.
What makes marriage greater than cohabitation? That is the question that needs to be asked and answered to persuade one to not live with a partner or have sex outside of marriage.
Very wise. Thanks for commenting:)
Hey guys! I just recently started following you guys on here and i love your videos and how passionate y'all are about the Lord! I am so happy that you advised to not live together before marriage because the lines are so blurred even in Christian culture. I think, often, people seek convenience rather than to honor the Lord. His word talks about keeping the marriage bed pure, and it's almost impossible to keep the marriage bed pure if you are living together. It's hard enough, without living together. I speak from personal experience. I claimed to be a Christian a few years ago and I moved in with my boyfriend and we lived together for about 8 months. It was not good. After that guy and I broke up, eventually the Lord revealed that I wasn't actually a christian and I fell to my knees and he saved me. Now looking back, it really stinks that I lived with another guy and gave him a piece of me that I can't give to my future husband. Praise God, however, that the Lord redeems all sin and brokenness and that the man who God has for me will see that my life looks totally different now and that I want to honor Christ. I want to encourage you if you ever make a new video on this topic or any topic to talk about the fact that Lord redeems all sin when you turn to him in repentance and faith, so that those who have lived with someone before marriage, recognized their sin, and turned from it, do not feel condemned. Overall great video and I'm so thankful you guys are sending out truth to a faithless and crooked generation. This world needs it! Also super encouraged by your story, and y'all are so cute and love each other so well! Definitely wish I knew you in person! :)
This video 👌🏻 This was definitely the same for us...there wasn't really any massive surprises after we got married and moved in together because we had spent the time intentionally getting to know each other. And like you guys said, love is choice! Love this video, and you guys! ☺️
Mat & Est - ChristianVloggers Hey Guys! Love that, we have to be intentional and wise with our time pre-marriage. Really cool having you guys in a similar spot in life as us!😄😄
I love this video! When I entered college my boyfriend and I were living together, later during that year I re-devoted my life to Jesus and we decided to live apart the following year. It was hard being judged by others but we had no clue how wrong it looked in our new christian lives. Living together definitely has temptations that will make your relationship harder in the long run! Im happy my boyfriend and I live in separate places. We really did play "house" and that should be something you both really experience later in life. Thank you for posting videos about christian dating and advice!!! I wish I was aware of christian vloggers early on! :)
My nephews church actually stated at his wedding that they (that particular church) are not going to judge my nephew and his fiance re living together...this was part if the wisdom imparted during the ceremony. It was SO SAD.
So, this kinda popped up in my head while watching the video: What if you fell in love with your roommate who you'd been living with for a pretty long time already and start dating them? Wouldn't it be weird/awkward to suddenly not live together anymore?
God judges us all, we all need to repent and turn to Christ. That is the gospel message that Jesus Christ is the Savior, died on the cross and rose from the dead.
Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
This is my situation now.
Yes! Lived with my first husband before marriage, though we dated for several years prior. Divorced 3 months after marriage bc of abuse. Did not live with my 2nd husband before marriage. We are still married 20+ years later.
One thing I have learned about marriage/living together is this (I've been married over 10 years now)...marriage is more than just "I want to spend the rest of my life with you!". It is a CONTRACT! Like legally binding...it's a HUGE commitment and you FEEL the heaviness of that commitment when you have that. When are not married and just living together, you are simply "playing" married. You can leave whenever you want - there no contract. NO lawyers, no judge needed to break that contract. No forever vows before God. BIG difference. Now, I know people who have lived together for 20+ years and have never gotten married but there is really something to that feeling of, "I don't have to stay in this." It's a feeling of having an easy out when you want. (It may not be emotionally easy but it's not a contract).Yes, you can get a divorce, but a divorce is not easy. It takes time and money to get a divorce which again, adds to the commitment factor. So, if you TRULY mean it when you say, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" then make that commitment. If not, then move on for the good of you and your significant other.
Lorie Brumfield Wow really cool comment and perspective. You are so right. Marriage is meant to be a BIG DEAL! Amen, thanks Lorie!
I know you touched a little on this, so to add to your point, living with someone before marriage I think encourages a selfish attitude, especially when the mindset is blatantly focused on ideas like "how good are they going to be for me?" because it's like test driving before you buy kind of mentality. I know to some, I'm still a spring chicken in the years I've been with my wife, but after 8 years, I realized that it doesn't matter how good you thought they were in the beginning, there are going to be challenges that you need to get through that you aren't going to be spared from because how good you felt about them. Every marriage takes commitment and work, and a lot of it. We're all going to learn things about a person that are going to challenge us while also reflecting our own ugly nature back towards ourselves. No matter how good they seem before marriage, it's not only going to not prepare us for what's to come, but it's going to give us a false perspective on how our mindset should even be going into it in the first place. I think one issue that's exacerbating sexual tension issues is that the engagement process is ridiculous in our culture. I think when a couple decides they're going to get married, they should be ready to marry. I don't agree with lengthy engagements that prioritize weddings, honeymoons, jobs, or even living situations. I don't even really think legally binding marriage is necessary, but I do think you should have witnesses and a covenant should be made between you, your spouse, and God. But maybe this is all another conversation for another day.
Hey guys ! I'm not a Christian or anything else nor do I have the same opinion than y'all have but I must admit that I think it's really interesting what you're talking about and I really respect you for that! xoxo Dina :)
Awe thanks for watching Dina:)
Hey guys. I currently live with my boyfriend with another couple. I mean, it all worked out because I needed to find a new job - one came up where he lived - and also his mum moved away and it meant he couldn't afford the house he was living in, or a new place as everywhere is expensive. I love your videos and I completely see your point. I think it does depend on situation and circumstance when it comes to things like that. Our relationship has gotten even better since and we don't have sex, we have different rooms, etc. it just all worked out this way.
I love your channel and I feel like a lot of people get a lot of stuff out of them. I've been bingeing your videos yesterday and this morning!
I'm afraid that the way you present it so many people are going to rush into getting married just so they can do all the normal things a couple should do like kiss, having sex and living together and then break up, please do not promote that
Victoria CoolOrNot The way they present it? Or the way God’s present it? Because the way they said , is the way God intended marriage to be.
i LOVE this answer! it's really true
You see how society made it normal, to have sex, kiss, live together before marriage, when according to God word is wrong. And also merriage isnt some paper singed before bunch of people, its before God and you need to fight for it your whole life.
@@gthrusterg2858+ Yeah? And you think the cavemen cared about signing papers before kissing, having sex or becoming part of another's pack because 'God said it wasn't allowed.'
I agree if u aren't like me and believe divorce is bad it would be better to be causios of jumping into it blindly
i pray for people like you to enter my life, as friends and brothers/sisters in Christ. y'all are so refreshing and encouraging. ♡
I really like how you encouraged people to dig into God’s word on this issue. Because ultimately as believers that needs to be where we are finding our direction regardless of all the other arguments.
Amen girly! :)
So according to your logic, the whole point of getting married is to have sex and live together?
They apparently think that sex is used to just lure the other into living with you.
I just got to that part of the video as well and I feel really surprised. Even if I were living with my boyfriend and we were having sex, I would still want to stand up in a room full of our family and friends and celebrate that love we have for each other, and commit to spending the rest of our lives together. The desire to marry a person shouldn’t be the same thing as the desire to move in and sleep with someone.
Also you can absolutely live with a person and not have sex with them?
I dont believe that is what they are trying to say. But sex and living together is something that is very special and becomes more special when you wait for it. It's a perk of getting married. Not the point. Some of the specialness of marriage is lost if sex and/or living together comes before hand though.
That's exactly how it should be Christian couples should not move in together before marriage, that's dangerous territory, pushing boundaries and risking going against God's will. Society may distort these things and make them seem normal but we are not to conform to this world. I was blinded to God's word before and would even lie to girls just to get in bed with them, I praise God he freed me from such abominations and I now take such great joy in living in purity in honour of our Father . All praise and glory to God and our Lord Jesus Christ
I now I am really not a romantic, but the point of getting married is either to live together and have sex or to save taxes if you lived together before anyways, because in that case you already had a commited relationship as it is
"Why call ye me Lord, and do not do the things I say?"
"Lord, Lord!" ... "Depart from Me, ye workers of iniquity."
:)
I totally agree with you guys..some people insist that moving together does not mean they 're sleeping with each other..This in my opinion is very unlikely..The bible which is our only standard commands us to flee from all appearance of evil..If you really love the Lord and you want to do right by him,You should obey his word and not act like the world does..
As for the excuse of wanting to know a person..you can't know a person completely, including urself. Trust God and do not rely on ur understanding..peace and joy
Amen :)
You can live together and not sleep together. Not everyone has the self will and self control of a two year old
This thing IS black and white; there are no two ways about it. Completely agree with you again! Oh and I'm so glad to see people of my own generation actually encouraging "old-fashioned" BUT VERY RIGHT, GOD-ORDAINED principles like this.
What if I started living with my future husband before fully understanding that sex before marriage is a sin ? And then I repent and we decide to stop having sex til we get married? It's a tricky one, because none of us can move out for only a few months without screwing things up financially.
Spot on guys! I had a friend that lived with her fiancé for 6 years! 6!!!! They never got married and now she's not going to church anymore and is back with the guy and still not married 😔
I wish I had heard this before I made the mistake of moving in with someone who I wanted to commit to before we were engaged. I lost someone who was everything I wanted because I didn't listen to the warnings. I know I stumbled on your channel when I did for a reason, and I still believe that he and I can have a future together. Thank you guys for putting out the content you are. Please keep going strong!
BOOM. This is so accurate and so on point. I give you both serious props for speaking the ULTIMATE TRUTH regardless of how popular the opposite opinion is. LOVE THIS. 💙
This was so helpful. I think so many people who consider themselves Christian, me included sometimes don't understand that it really is Black and White and that is how we should be living. But we let God lose his grasp on us and we give up a little and conform to this grey world and say "well everyone else is doing it it must be okay" well hard pill to swallow but it's not okay.
Thanks for the comment :)
Honestly I’m a Christian (and my husband is too) and I lived with my him before marriage. We had dated 5 years before he moved in. We lived together a year before we got engaged but we didn’t have sex while we were living together. We just got married and although we lived together prior to, marriage was still so new and so sweet and amazing and I feel so much more connected to him then I have ever felt before. I don’t think living together effected any of the “newness” that comes with marriage and moving in together. Our wedding day was still the best day of my life and the days following have still been the best days ever.
Although it is easier to cross lines, both of our values and expectations were that we would not cross that line. Beyond the sex, we saved many things for marriage. It worked for us... it won’t work for everyone. However I never felt God looking at me poorly. I never felt wrong in the eyes of God because I know he knows our hearts and he knows our thoughts. I did however feel wrong in the eyes of my some of my Christian friends. I have to disagree that there is a grey area and that it isn’t black and white. How can you feel okay with God but not okay with friends? It’s tough! Anyways, great topic, thanks for sharing your opinions!
You are absolutely right!! This is a very black and white area! Whether a person chooses to live with their girlfriend/boyfriend shows where they are at spiritually...is their highest priority to please the Lord or their flesh?
Wow, I just watched a whole bunch of videos from you guys and completely given you a sub. There are a lot of christian vloggers out there who cover the same topics that you do, but there's something very grounded, and very genuine about you two that I don't personally find in a lot of them. Perhaps different people just vibe with different things, but I like how you always go back to the word, you're very real about yourselves and other things, and it's like you're not trying to impress anyone either. My spirit feels at peace when I watch you guys - I get convicted, but I also am at peace. Thank you for giving it straight, thank you for being good leaders, and great online vessels God can work through for young single people like me
So you guys are only against moving in together because you assume that sex comes along with moving in together?
What if I'm strong enough to stick to my faith and not let any sexual intimacy happen, even though i live together with my partner?
I am currently in a relationship (since 2 years) and my boyfriend does sleep over from time to time and we spend a lot of time together. But we stayed pure anyways because it's the right thing. So i strongly believe that we could live together without having sex. Would you guys still consider that sinful?
P.S. I'm actually curious about your opinion, this is not meant as hate (I didnt know a better formulation)
I'm still learning about the right way to live as a Christian, which is why i love your videos :)
Thanks for the genuine comment Feli. I would still discourage it for the sake of your witness. Perhaps consult a mature Christian in your life and get their opinion. God bless :)
you can live with someone without sleeping with them
also when he burped i died
But they’re trying to say it will cause more temptations they’re going by the bible and Gods word.
That is technically true Courtney Green, but what you are saying is very, very rare.
It should be a big deal! Lol. Love that y’all are speaking the truth. God has boundaries for a reason. Commitment in marriage & the gift of waiting for that season should be definitely brought to the surface. It’s a shame our generation has come to accept the counterfeit. Loved this video!!
Me and my boyfriend live together and we are Abstinent.
Update ?
Sleep in separate rooms?
So I actually have a question about this topic. I am a new believer, he is not but has been tested and out of fellowship. This topic got brought-up in today's service and we're trying to figure out what to do from here because we are living together in an intimate relationship with our wedding 6 months away. We want to renew our fellowship with the Lord and do his will, and we are having a difficult time in figuring out what to next. Any advice would be so appreciated.
Thanks for your honesty. As inconvenient as it would be, we would say move to different places until the wedding so that you don’t keep falling into sexual sin.
The way Christian is different, is not by not doing non-christian things, there are atheist who don't drink, smoke an marry as virgins. The reason why we don't do these things, is for the Glory of God. Oh yes, of course we do sin every day too, but the point is those things have to do with a decision making. We sin every day but we want to avoid sin's that have to do with a step-by-step process. So the reason why we don't do it, is because God loved us by sacrifing Himself and we love Him for His Salvation - "we love Him because He first loved us" (1st John 4:19) and the motivation for such a living that is pleasing to Him, is because we received through Christ, His salvific Grace - "by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God" (Romans 12:1)
This is not life advice, you can buy this in the books stores. Not to live this way is actually a way to say: God, we are totaly dependent on you.
Actually if you don't move in together, you show sacrificial love also towards your boy/girlfriend. I guarantee you, he/she will first be against maybe, but after that they will respect and love you at least duble as before. Some day even thank you for not doing that. And some day also understand, that was for the glory of God.
Couldn't have said it better. Why does Paul remind of me of a famous actor? Lol
Thanks bro! A famous actor😏😏 I guess I give of those vibes :D
Sometimes, like the last shot of this video, he looks like Adam Brody.
Might it be Sam Claflin?
Hugh Grant?
Pee Wee Herman
God tells us what sin is.....and just because we dont like what God considers sin, doesnt change God! And if you really love someone..sheer respect for that person would make you want to honor the holiest thing a union can bring...sex before marriage is unholy....not holy!
Excuse me,where exactly in the Bible does it say that sex before marriage is a sin?I have read the Bible and no where did I encounter the word "sex" 🤔
I have a Question: My boyfriend lives in an other country and he will visit me in december. Do you think, that it`s okay if he sleeps in my room (just in my room, not in my bed).
I get what your saying and I agree. It's like playing married without actually getting married. The living together thing before marriage is like a cheap way to marriage.
I'm so grateful I didn't live with my two ex's or sleep with them.
I'm striving to follow the holy spirit and not the ways of the world.
Am I perfect. No!!! Not by any means but if I say I'm living for God I need to do my best to act like it. Great video. Keep it up 😀
Agreed! Thanks for sharing! :)
My boyfriend and I have been together now for almost a year. I know he’s the one, and he says we’re gonna get married in the future. We’re both in college and can’t afford to do it now, otherwise we would totally make that covenant. We’re striving for purity and have abstained. We’re thinking about renting out an apartment with a few friends next school year to save money. Does this seem sinful? I am a follower and want to do what’s right by God.
I know this is old soooo if you will see it. What if we are new believers after deciding living together? We have separate rooms and another roommate. We try not spending that much time together. We have just started being intentional about these things. We are now committed to not sleeping together. What is your advice?
You're right when it comes to sex. That's quite obvious.
But living together without sex to me is very different. And yep, it's possible.
But even when it comes to the just living together, my pastor said (and I never even though about it!) "Think about it: what will none christians think about you? They will think that you have sex. Does this honor God?"
Good point!
Really love this! You guys are right on point.
Agreed. Funny part is my husband and I did live together before marriage and while I don't regret it I can honestly say living together married versus unmarried is very different. There are different dynamics and expectations in either scenario. Now we were not living for Christ at that time but I see now how much our early years of marriage would have benefited from abstaining from playing house before hand.
I totally disagree on this one. Living in the same house with your boyfriend or girlfriend before marriage doesn't change anything and it surely isn't "the wrong way". You guys were saying "whats the point of getting married" if a couple already lives together. The reasons couples that live together and aren't married is not because they live together, it's probably because one of them does not want to get married or maybe not yet. I don't believe it has anything to do with living together before marriage.
I think it is so wrong to call sex before marriage a sin. Why should god bother if a couple loves each other not only emotionally but also on a sexual level? Being Christian is not about some stupid rules humans made up, it's about being a good person who spreads love and peace.
Thanks for your comment. We'll just have to agree to disagree :) Definitely agree that being a christian isn't about rules that humans made. But it is about the rules the Bible, God and Jesus laid down for us to follow. God bless!
Most of my Christian friends have had sex before marriage these days at university, and a few of those already live with their partner pre marriage - they're waiting till they can financially afford the wedding, but it won't stop it from being special
So true. Same with me and my friends at university. It doesn't mean anything to me if my christian or not christian boyfriend has had sex before, that's normal these days to have sex before marriage. I don't judge anyone who waits until their wedding night, thats actually cute but it does not make them a better human or christian. Living with your partner before marriage is also a good test to see if things will work in your marriage. I see so many other other pros of that, like you said also the financial aspect.
Paul and Morgan are a very cute couple and I totally respect their way of living and thinking but sometimes their opinion is very one sided. They need to consider the circumstances we now live in. Even if I wanted, I cannot afford my wedding yet or within the next 5 years, I have to pay rent and other bills while I still go to uni and I don't want to wait until then to live together with my partner.
Love this. You guys are so right on. God bless you guys. More eyes on this Lord, get us into that pursuit of holiness!
Shane Rothman Amen Brother! Really appreciate the comment!👊
Paul and Morgan your welcome. My wife and I have been following you guys the last couple months. Love your sense of humor, honor for each other and honor for the Lord and His word. Keep up the great work!
What does marriage represent? A lifelong commitment to one person, a unity with God (for Christians)
Do you really need a marriage certificate to do this ? It’s a Ceremony and a piece of paper that make it a legality. To me, you can have a lifelong commitment and a strong partnership without a “piece of paper and ceremony” to prove it.
I am praying me and my bf can get stronger. We both believe in God and both talked about stop having sex. I go over there every weekend to have time with him and it’s like living with him, but we don’t. I really need help and more guidance. I’ve had people tells us to get married ASAP and others say it’s to fast.
I currently live with my fiancee. In my own opinion, I would rather that the couple doesn't live together because of the temptation. However, as in my case living together before marriage is inevitable and managing the temptation is paramount.
So, as much as it is the "standard" not to live together, different people are in different situations in life. What is important is applying wisdom in every situation so that you will always please God.
The Coronavirus postponed our wedding. We had full intention on being married before moving in together, we only postponed so family could join us safely....Did we mess up? We moved in together as if the wedding happened on time.
This is always why you do pre-marriage and pre-engagement counseling too.
My opinion is, do what it takes to have a happy marriage, because if you're happy, then why in the world would you ever become a divorce statistic? If that means trying to live together, well, that's a good thing because you will get a preview of real marriage and some of the problems that will have to be faced... If you're dedicated to abstinence, then you'll just have to be responsible...
This is an older video, so probably not relevant... but still a relevant topic. However, my fiancé and I have moved in together. We are both very strong in our Christian faith, and I understand this is very controversial. BUT, the way that we maintain our boundaries is by having and sleeping in separate bedrooms. This allows us to split bills and jointly save more money, and also encourages us to be accountable and stand strong in our boundaries.
I also made a Christian video on this topic as well as "sex before marriage". Links are below:
Living Together Before Marriage:
ua-cam.com/video/tVJuICy6a5A/v-deo.html
Sex Before Marriage:
ua-cam.com/video/ss8LTDTj9VQ/v-deo.html
Hope you all find them helpful :)
I think you all come from a good place but when you make videos for serious topics I advise you take them seriously instead of mocking the feelings of others. I know you might just be uncomfortable, but it just comes off as mean.
Sorry you feel that way
I once knew a guy (through text) who started talking to me with the outrageous notion that we would meet for real, start dating, and get married. I thought he was joking. He was completely serious.
I guess he liked me right off the bat, because literally his first message to me was a proposal with a little ring emoji, like this >> 💍
Well I was taken by him and entertained the thought of him. We began talking and having pleasant conversations, and several times he mentioned liking me, wanting to meet, and he always brought up marriage.
Anyway, my point of all this was to say that one of the things he mentioned was that when we started dating that we should move in together. I said I wasn't sure (because of course I had the stupid idea of accepting him.) He picked up on my reluctance and misread it. He assured me that we would have a roommate type of a situation, that we wouldn't have sex before marriage if I wasn't comfortable.
Anyway, after a short time, I realized my stupidity (again) for getting myself into (another) dumb sittuation, so I let him down gently as I could and cut ties with him.
About a year later now and that whole memory still does things to me. Guess it was because he was one of the only guys in this world who ever showed genuine interest in me, and also because it was my first (and to this day my only) proposal of marriage.
They are the one because you entered into a Covent with them before the Lord. The foundation needed to enjoy the good time and persevere your marriage through the hard times. Amen for speaking the truth because you love people and want what is best for them.
Paul you and Morgan are absolutely right about couples not living together before marriage. You all are young, but very wise. I am a grandmother and l wish my older grandchildren would watch your videos. Please continue your good advice to guys and girls on getting married and readinf their Bibles and putting GOD first in their relationship.
Thank you for your support, Betty :) Amen, we will!
So if we’re in a relationship with someone before marriage. Should we move to the same state, at least?
I live with my wife for 7 months before we got married we slept in two separate bedrooms everything was fine
Yeah but to be personal what were the circumstances? Were you Christain then or now?
I have always been christian
Everything here makes sense, the way God intends things really is to protect us not control us. Getting so intimate with people before marriage then breaking up and repeating, you end up having all these people from your past you had these bonds with and it really does mess things up, they'll never vanish from your memory. If I could go back in time I would have never defiled myself, but God presents himself to us in diffirent stages of our lives, I'm grateful he still opened his arms to me despite my sinful past.
My boyfriend is "Christian" and I'm pulling away from him right now because he wants to move in together before marriage. He seems tolerant on waiting till marriage for sex, but it's just hard. We're also long distance which is hard because there's not time or space to get to know each other. But perhaps the distance was for us to avoid sexual sin I'm not sure but it makes things hard
My sentiments exactly! Glad to hear young people thinking the way "older" people think. Besides, if you live together before marriage, most likely you will always be trying to put your best foot forward and not being very realistic. And as you say, you won't find out any more about them anyhow. Keep Christ at the head of your family, may God bless your marriage.
John Peake haha thanks! Great point, it’s really a cheap imitation of marriage and God’s best. Amen, God bless your marriage also😊😊 Thanks for watching and supporting us!
What happens if a person takes the opposite sex in for a place to stay? It says we are not to be yoked together with an unbeliever. I'm a Christian and he claims to be one. However, he does not treat me as a wife or S.G. should be treated. Am I in the wrong especially when he won't leave?
How does this video not have more thumbs ups?!?! God bless your marriage guys :D Keep spreading his word!! We love your videos, they are a breath of fresh air in todays times. Thank you for setting yourselves apart and being a Godly example to follow :D
Awe praise God :)
Earlier I felt the urge to need to watch on of you guys videos, so I closed my eyes and asked God to show me a video that I needed to watch. As I stopped I landed on this one and it is just what was needed. Not for me though but for a friend. Thank you Paul and Morgan you guys delivered this beautifully. 😊❤
That is so awesome! I love hearing how God answers our prayers. Thanks for sharing. Happy you enjoyed it :)
"why would you buy the cow if you can get the milk for free" "why would we even need to get married?" that's the point, you don't NEED to get married, you can do it as an expression of the love you feel for partner. It's so sad to marry someone because you HAVE TO, we all deserve more than that. And sex before marriage is as awesome as sex after marriage, just do what makes you happy and feels like the right thing for you.
Honestly, I think it's absolutely fine for an unmarried couple to live together, sleep in separate rooms if you want to.
In medieval times, marriage was actually just two people, with or without witnesses, consenting to be married at any time, outside of the church. Interestingly, the only reason we marry in churches is it was easier to keep records and make sure people weren't marrying twice. The medieval times were a deeply religious time (at least in England) and people took it very seriously, but people still got married without many rituals, in pubs, bedrooms, fields and churches if they chose. Marriage is coming together as a union, not about appeasing the people around you, God knows if you've had sex outside of marriage, so it's not for me to assume other people have even if they sleep in the same bed together, I still do not know what they have or haven't done.
Ultimately, I think if you love your partner enough and you love the lord enough, you will wait. Whether that means you feel you need to keep your distance, or you are okay sleeping side by side, just do what works for you and your relationship with your spouse and God :)
Hey Paul and Morgan
Your content is real good you are going into awesome topics and answering many thoughtful questions. I dread your intro.... is it possible to hold back a bit on that?
Ok,,, here's your answer clear and simple. The Bible is very clear, sex outside of marriage is sin, but there will always be people trying to justify this action; and that's between you and the Lord. I would highly recommend you don't do it.
If you are do have plans to get married in the near future, is there a reason you can't get married now ?
I've even heard of cases, that one of the 2 parties is married but getting a divorced. Well biblically speaking, that person needs to go and try and fix his/her marriage first.
Do NOT move in with anyone if you're still legally married to someone else presently.
Remember, God CANNOT bless you if you're living in sin, and you become a target wide open for the devil to come in and devour you ( 1 Pet. 5:8 ).
Hope this helps somebody.
Thank you for the comment! Amen brother
Trino Ponce it's an even bigger sin when you have sex before marriage but stop having sex after marriage
Ok,, I'm kinda lost with your comment. Why is it a bigger sin if you're having sex before marriage, but stop after marriage ? I know this happens alot with couples.
Trino Ponce it's just disrespectful to God. My best friend wife did. She acted like she hated sex. Of course come to find out she was cheating but that's a different sin. Don't believe she was a very Godly woman.
NO... you are so far off on your views. The bible tells us, Jesus Christ is the same Yesterday, Today and forever. God never changes. The ONLY way God would change is for improvement. But if God improves, then God is NOT perfect. The Bible tells us, there's NOT even a shadow of turning with God, He says, I am Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and The End, The First and The Last, and I change NOT.
Sin is sin is sin is sin. But there are also things that are not only sin, but they are an abomination before Lord. I don't have time to go into the abominations, But you can look them up if you're interested.
You and I can try to justify our actions all we want. But God's Word is forever settled.
God is NOT up for elections or voting. There is a false statement that went out a while back. that goes, "God said it, I believe it, and that settles it "
The true statement is, " God said it, That settles it ", whether you and I believe it or NOT doesn't change.
Hope this helps you. Have a great day.
What is wrong with a long engagement or not getting married though...
I truly agree with you guys! Thanks for this. Indeed living together as couple is not wise. It will lead you to sexual immorality that is not pleasing with God. Both the man and the woman should keep themselves pure. Marriage first before living together!
😊😊
A Man and a Woman should be married to live together.Its the right way.
😊👍
Paul and Morgan God Bless You!😄🙏😇
i dont think if they live together than they have to be having sex
Amanda Noe that’s so cute, lol!
Agree !
I just don’t believe in moving in before marriage. Or sex before marriage. I don’t know what was wrong with what our parents and grandparents did and I support what they did
Yup this is super right on !
I dont think your making too big a deal at all. There are some things that are very special and huge advantages to marriage. The intimacy of living together is an exciting thing that should be looked forward to in marriage... not tested out before hand. That takes away the "specialness."
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)
On point! Not too extreme. Y'all are very eloquent and are able to word things well which I have trouble explaining sometimes! So thank you!