Frankenstein's tragic monster || Pride 2022
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 тра 2022
- My friend Nicky put out a video the other day talking about his own struggles with being on the aro/ace spectrum, and it reminded me that silence is the thing that kills us.
So I thought I should say something.
None of Frankenstein's creations were monsters, but the scientist was. The scientist here being society
societies always the monster
society
Joker, is that you?
We live in a society
We always live in a scientist
You’re so eloquent and insightful. It takes a lot of courage and even more self-awareness to discuss yourself in this way, and it’s honestly inspirational. Good for you, dude 💚
I've been aromantic since 2019 and I can fully feel everything you said here and fully empathize with it by just remembering how I went through the same internal realization of who am I, strong video and be proud of yourself for making it.
As a fellow aromantic im really glad i found the label at such a young age. It really saved me from a lot of the trauma most aromantics have to go through. I’m really sorry you had to go through all of that but thank you for spreading awareness, it really does make a difference
Really glad to know that I ain't the only one like this tbh
I’m beyond grateful that finding out I’m Aromantic early saves me from trauma and helped me get out of a budding toxic romantic relationship, and let me have this label without me wondering if that trauma made such an impact on my life and identity, I would be in turmoil in that alternate life
Same here, I figured out I'm aroace in my teens, which has really helped me to understand my feelings, and avoid this feeling of being "wrong". ngl tho, it still does sting a little in a world so love and sex obsessed to be seemingly left out, but I know Im gonna be happy, that itll be fine. To everyone reading this, don't worry. It will work out fine in the end.
I'm happy that you came out the other side knowing more about yourself. Can't say I'm at that point yet, but seeing people like yourself and others come to accept themselves - even if it's just a little bit more - for who they are gives me hope that maybe someday I can do the same.
I consider myself very lucky to have found an identity I am comfortable with relatively early on, and that's thanks to people on the internet talking about it. The more people talk about the diverse world of identities, the easier it will be for people to find what they are looking for.
Everyone has the potential sadly not all can actually do it for many different reasons.
its weird ngl, he IS weird for not feeling romantic feelings... should we treat him badly? no but saying its normal or ok to be like this isn´t, humans are romantic creatures by nature. good on him for feeling better but its not a normal behaviour
As an Asexual man in the Southern part of the United States I would, and still do, get harassed about not chasing after women the way everyone else did.
It has always confused me because I was very romantically inclined, obsessed even, all I wanted was that beautiful 50s Hollywood portrayal of the happily married couple In a little blue house with a small white picket fence; but I couldn't stand the way the world told I had to get it.
I unfortunately let people pressure me into it, and hated myself even more and had constructed a lie in which my life revolved to make myself accepted.
One day, years later I couldn't hold the act together and broke down in front of a friend, crying and demanding to know what was wrong with me, and they offered a solution, "Maybe you're just Asexual" they said. I didn't even know the term, but once they had explained it to me I just spat it back in their face.
In my mind at the time there was no way I was whatever this abomination they had described was, I had grown up a "proud straight man" after all; I still regret it even if they have forgiven me.
It took me almost 2 years and a few more break downs to finally accept that I was in fact asexual, but for almost 18 years of my life I was harassed and bullied over something I had no control over and had absolutely no idea such a simple answer existed.
Why did I give this whole life story here you ask?
More or less to say I'm glad to have people more openly talk about this kinda thing, there was so much pain and misery in my life before I learned about asexuality and I would love nothing more than to prevent that from happening to someone else.
Thank you for talking about yourself and spreading word that this stuff exists
This video was probably hard to write, cut and post since its personal. But let me tell you that it was 100 % worth it.
As you said, community can save the soul and by letting people know that they don't need to feel outcast, you will safe those souls.
Thus I say, thank you for revealing insecurities to safe others. It takes courage to do that.
I myself have a platonic life partner! She is my person in life, but it doesn't require us to feel romantically. I suppose it's kind of just like being best friends, but also feels like more than that without turning into a love story. Don't chase normal, chase what is right and healthy for you. For me, that's being a transgender queer man who is platonic partners with an aroace woman and I couldn't be happier. There is no need to feel shame for not fitting into the boxes the world tells us we need to belong in. Sometimes the world is wrong, and you are allowed to tell it no.
Yeah typically saying to someone "that is so sad" because they were born lacking something is not the way to go.
Happy Pride from this biromantic asexual.
Twin!!!!!! (Me too)
I dislike the connotations of "lacking" in this context. You wouldn't say a homosexual is lacking heterosexuality, you get what I'm saying?
@@marvintg2002 I get what you are saying but typically the respective definitions of aromantic/asexual is to lack romantic/sexual attraction.
I am not using lacking in a negative light.
@@1greninjawolfbossdeath648 appreciate you taking the time to clarify
Unrelated but there are so many shitty people on the internet that it feels weird to me seeing an interaction where both parts are being respectful to each other
I loathe the type of people who say, “oh that’s so sad!” Because they clearly don’t care or understand the situation enough to come up with an alternative response. I’m in Highschool and am a “peer listener,” basically a student counsellor, and you have to pass this course to get a certificate to be one. The most valuable part of that class for me was to not show to sympathy and/or to not try to fix anyone’s problem, but to realize that sometimes you shouldn’t help. To realize that some situations are extremely difficult and the only thing you can do is listen to the person and give them a place to express themselves. I haven’t experienced anything close to what Skyen has as a straight cis-white male, but I appreciate the video and hope that all’s going well now.
You're wise for a highschool kid, it took me a lot more to learn to stay out when you can't or should not help
"The human experience is complex and that *should* be okay"
*Louder for the people on the back seats!*
jokes aside, that video hits close to home - I remember watching romcoms with friends or having to read love poetry for assignments and wondering why on earth people keep insisting that (romantic)love is both the best and the worst thing to ever exist, because every description sounded at least mildly unpleasant to me (and i used to chalk this up to my anxiety, which didn't exactly help). Needless to say, it was a relief when i learned that aromantic spectrum is a thing; also, your playthroughs and character analysis videos are amazing!
I came to realise that I was aromantic not too long ago, I was lucky enough to realise it young, I realized it by hearing an explanation of what being aromantic was, and it just clicked, that I never had to go through feeling like I'm broken is something I'm happy about, just as i can only be happy that you're in a much beter place mentally now.
your content is incredibly enjoyable, and often brings a smile to my face, I hope things continue going well for you.
I really wish I could have a proper explanation about it too. I am not sure if I am aromantic, but I definitely want to understand it more and, who knows, maybe see if I am actually Aro too.
@@Flehn have you ever had a crush or ever felt the want to be in a relationship with someone as more than just friends? Cuddle, kiss, go on dates and do activities like watching movies late at night, being vulnerable with them. Sometimes their is this thing called "squish" (which is a pun because get it? "Squish" and "crush"?) And it is something people on the gray-area or gray spectrum of the Aromantic umbrella. It is biiiiiig and wide spectrum. Some are romance-repulsed, some are romance-positive.
Same I found I was aromantic in year 8 (I’m from England )
@@satyre_1hey, please don't take this the wrong way I'm legit confused. If aromantic is a spectrum between repulsed or positive doesn't everyone fall in between that a
Spectrum?
I'm not from EU neither United States this is very new and unfamiliar to me.
I ask out of mere curiosity please don't take any disrespect or I'll intention.if you have. Any reliable source where I can learn more that's also welcome. Thank you for your patience
Community is so, so important for us to realise our self-loathing isn't some integral part of our broken selves but something we have been taught because 'normal' society does not want to accept the wonderful complexity of human nature. Absolutely amazed how you managed to put so much in such a short time frame, an excellent video.
Edit: since it was a short video I don't want to go into a critique too much but I just wanted to put that someone being a sociopath does not mean they can't love others (platonically, romantically, whatever way), it's an unfortunate stereotype. Just putting this here to educate anyone who didn't know that though I'm sure that wasn't the intent given the condensed nature of the video.
As a disabled individual while I can’t relate to this from an LGBTQ+ standpoint I absolutely relate and sympathise with the feelings and anxieties that come with “Other-ness” and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate the honesty and transparency with which you conduct yourself. I really enjoy your content and while I can’t begin to know what your personal experience was/is like, I just wanted to say in the spirit of this month, and to anyone who may need to hear it - You are enough, just as you are.
For the longest time growing up I thought depictions of romance and lust were over exaggerations. Played up to make the story more interesting but often failing to do so. Yet as I and others around me aged and more and more expressed things that resembled what I thought were over exaggerations, I realized that they weren't exaggerating, I simply didn't share those feelings. I never thought of myself as wrong or broken or less than, just different.
People seem not to realize how much harder It is growing up in the world where hetero-monogamous is the "default", where all others are "abnormal" or "broken" (which is a load of crap) and how much that limits our experiences. It can harm our growth as people, and being looked down upon or pitied for being "abnormal" never helps.
I absolutely wish with all my heart to change parts of myself, or occationally to have someone or something to "fix" me for my own sake, to lead what I feel would be a happier life, but when I do, tend to wonder how much of that is caused by the influence of those around me thinking its not "normal", and if I'd genuinely think/feel the same way if I had been accepted and welcomed for the way I am from the start.
i dont think im aromantic, but i struggle a lot with diferentiating romantic from platonic love, i always fall in love with my friends and i know i cant pursue it, i have thought that i may be aromantic because its probably just friendship that im mistaking(? but also it doesnt feel like people describe friendships. Doesnt help that im polyamorous and often felt like no one was going to love me because of it. Im happy to say i found two amazing partners who make me feel more normal, but i deply connect with aromantics struggles in the way society has implanted a model that we are unable to fit it
Props my aro guy
There has been a recent trend of creators coming out with their experiences as aromantic and asexual and I think it's a marvelous new wave of role models for kids nowadays. I grew up through the 90s and 2000s when every story, movie, and piece of media had to have the love story as a punch line if there was going to be any semblance of a happy ending and even as a pretty baseline heterosexual man it wholey corrupted my perception of love and relationships. This caused me to hurt alot of people chasing whatever idealistic romance I had in my head and I never took the time to experience life and everything around me as I was always to busy chasing the high of a relationship that I saw in TV.
Ultimately I broke my own heart that I was chasing an unrealistic fantasy and was able to mend my way back to a proper state of mind where living with and caring for those around me is more fulfilling and wonderful than any fireworks that are supposed to be there.
In the end romance and relationships are never ment to be the end all be all of happiness but rather just another thing that can add flavor to the life your living and I think the more that the next generations see that through people like you the more fulfilling they can find their lives wether they maintain a relationship or not.
Thank you for your continued quality content day after day and thank you again for sharing your story.
I’m frankly pretty comfortable being aromantic asexual because I hear or witness plenty of stories where people can’t see these major red flags in their relationships while they have their rose tinted glasses on. So many people use relationships as an emotional crutch in order to ignore their real problems and this isn’t helped by having a society that constantly reinforces the idea that love/marriage is something meant to complete a person. People need to be capable of finding their own happiness. I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with this aspect of romance but I agree that it’s hard not being able to relate to or participate in something a large percentage of people do. As an autistic person I already find it difficult enough to understand people and to create relationships of any kind (friendships). I’m in my early 20’s and feel like the majority of my peers prioritize romantic relationships over friendships. I find it pretty lonely at times.
I cannot put into words how unbelievably wonderful it is to finally see someone who is also aromantic, but not asexual. It is so rare to see, especially in public figures. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! P.s. I didn’t mean to be rude to aro ace people or anything, it’s just that I am happy to see someone like me, especially when they’re one of my favorite UA-camrs
coming from a conservative Christian family, It took me until adulthood to understand that I was bisexual. I'm still worried about coming out to my parents, but it was kind of relieving to understand and begin to accept these feelings as more than "he is the exception."
happy pride month everybody
Thank you for bringing to light the problems with being aro/ace. As on the spectrum myself I cannot count the amount of time I've heard, "You'll find the right person". It was enough to which I even thought so myself. The complete denial of our struggles within a society to which everyone relates to each other via love, its tough. But, finding comfort that there are others who think and feel like me online, prove that my feelings are valid. So are every one else on the spectrum. We are allowed to not feel love for another person, we don't need love to be content with life.
It sucks that even with the LGBT community we are usually largely ignored. At least with others on the asexual spectrum we can accept each other and hope others can too.
Happy pride month everyone! I hope everyone remembers you are allowed to feel as you do and that we are not broken or sad or pitiful :)
the "that sounds so sad" part made me BOIL!!!!!! I came out to some of my friends and that's the reaction I got... that I'm just overreacting and sure I do want romance deep down . it made me so furious because sometimes yes I do want it for myself but I can't have it.
we need more representation and more experiences shared because you all are valid and don't need anyone's approval to live a happy life😊
Know you are not a "monster", you aren't "unimportant"
You are you. And you are good enough for this world.
I know you figured this out but just wanted to say your perfectly suited for this wonderful world and it isn't sad, your difference makes you a great person.
Holy shit………..that’s exactly how it feels. You hit the nail right on the head with flawlessly constructed words. The longing for the heart stopping romance you see around you, the hoping and praying for someone to come along and fix you, those feelings are so near and dear to my heart beyond description. I’m so happy to see a creator I well and truly love intrinsically understanding these feelings that often confuse those around me. Seriously Skyen, thank you.
I may not be aromatic but as someone who grew up with an undiagnosed social disorder I can say I understand completely the feeling of wrong for not understanding or interacting with social structures like love and friendship in the same way as other
Stay strong friend
Edit: also frankenskyen is so cute
As an Autistic Aro Ace(trademark pending) individual , this hit the nail on the head for me. God, the longing; it can be brutal.
But I've also accepted that I'm simply happier as an island, romantically speaking. I think I described it to someone once, that I "simply have a heart already full enough with the love of friends and family."
Thank you for making this video! 💜💚🖤🤍
The best type of Tripple A!
I could swear there is a corellation! Aroace with Asperger's here, I relate with your mentality a lot. Be the best friend to the people you like and the friendliest you can be to the people you don't like. That's what human compassion is about.
You should get into gamedev so you can make AAA Video Games on the tightest budgets!
You’re a Triple A Gaymer, and that’s amazing.
I found your channel from your Pokémon design analyses, but the longer I stay around, the more it becomes clear to me what an insightful and thoughtful person you are. Keep fighting the good fight. I'm sure you already know, the most powerful love is the love we can give ourselves.
Well, 10 months late but as a aro/ace who has been told by people to not label myself yet, the power of having a word and a community to describe yourself and describe the feeling or lack of feeling you have. Every aspec person has felt the loneliness that comes from not experiencing a form of love and well it has it’s toll.
The sadness from aspec people is not that “we can’t feel a form of love” but that everyone thinks that everyone feels that form of love or *that something is wrong with you when you don’t* + how society is built in such a way that living alone at a certain point is “sad” and that your romantic relationships are prioritized over platonic ones
Everyone around us is convinced that we need to be fixed but there is nothing to fix, we aren’t broken, just different
Also shoutout to any aspec person, doesn’t matter if you are some variety of asexual, aromatic, or aplatonic (i know i mentioned friendship but you’re valid and not broken either) life is rough but we can get through it
Sorry for the rant, just this struck a cord
a bit sad that there wasnt a pride short from you this year, but your message will always resonate with the community no matter what, thank you for this
I've rewritten my comment several times because i can't find the words, so i'll just say: I, and others i know too, are extremely thankful to hear large creators (or well idk what counts as large but, known creators nonetheless) speak up about lgbt issues, speak up about who THEY are, and not what the internet, with it's often horrible toxic culture, expects you to be. Last year your video made me tear up cause i was able to reflect in it as a gay nonbinary person, and it helped me think more back and process more memories of times where I've despised myself for not being "normal".
Hey wait, would you look at that, i found words
Love comes in many forms and has no boundaries. Romance isn't the only concept of love.
As an asexual person - I have a similar experience. I thought for such a long time that I am broken, ill, I wanted to find a cure to get that sexual drive everyone around me was talking about. I felt alienated, invisible. I was uncomfortable when someone was bringing up their sexual experience, as I was comparing it to mine and thinking "wow, how bad am I at this?" I pushed myself to have intercourse, even when it meant I got harmed and traumatised. But now I am happy knowing that it is not only my experience and have learnt a lot about myself and the community. I hope one day nobody will bring up to you how "sad" they are that you are not feeling romantic attraction, I hope for the world where we understand that there are multiple ways of living and experiencing relationships - and romance with sex are not the ultimate goal :) Happy Pride to you Skyen and to everyone in the queer community!
I know this is a year old, but as I’m also aromantic I thought I’d comment. I really like hearing other aro folks talk about their experiences. I know what you mean when you mention the disconnect from others who experience romantic attraction when they’re “sympathetic” towards you. Thank you for sharing and from one aro character designer to an aro character design analyzer- I really love and appreciate the work that you do!
Fun fact, when I saw your Pride video last year, it helped me a lot to realize that I was demisexual. Seeing creators that are on the the Ace/Aro spectrum is kind of hard to find unless you’re actively looking for them. Keep being you, Skyen. Happy Pride!
While I may not be aromantic, I can relate as an asexual. Feeling like you're this weird monster missing out on what's considered a part of the fundamental human experience. Community is definitely what has helped me in knowing I'm not alone in my unique experience of not feeling sexual attraction and all the awkward insecurities that comes with it.
Communities grow stronger the more voices there are sharing their experiences, so... thank you for opening up.
Even as a pan person, someone on the opposite end of the spectrum here, I feel like society heavily enforces this idea that romantic and/or sexual love is what makes us human. People will gladly accept gay, bi, omni, all sorts of people, as long as they "love" someone, and sex is often tied to that love, which is a big yike. Ace and/or aro folks, and heck, even the demi/grey people on the ace spectrum are consistently seen as somehow incomplete or broken, even by the community.
I am so sorry. I think that platonic/familial/friendly/parental/sibling, and every other kind of non-romantic love is precious, and nobody should be seen as less human for a lack of sexual/romantic attraction. You deserve better, dude.
Happy Pride Month to whoever reads this.
I recently figured out i was aroace and hearing all of this really helps me feel like it is what i really am. We aren’t monsters and im glad that there is so much community and care for others here. 💚
This video resonated with me deeply. I have always gotten into relationships, tried to force love to work, tried to shove it into motion, because I heard that it makes you happy, I heard that it is an indescribably wonderful sensation, from so many different people. I felt that no fairy tale would be complete without a true love, and that once I found the right person, I'd get to experience that love for myself, lose myself in it, truly get immersed. But I don't think I ever will. It's like waiting for a beat drop for 20 years and then, instead of a beat drop, there's a guitar solo, and then the song ends. Odd metaphor, but I've so desperately tried to force myself into love, that I've convinced myself that it's the only key to happiness, and ever since I was little, I've wanted a family, but now I'm starting to suspect that is difficult. That maybe I'll never find that fantasy ripped out of the heart of every single piece of literature and media I've consumed, desperately comparing what I've seen to what I feel, pulling the red strings on the corkboard taut to the next observation, manically ask myself over and over, "is this love? Is this how it's supposed to work? What am I doing wrong?" And I've hurt so many people barreling into relationships and trying to force myself to love so hard, but never, ever succeeding. I relate with the feeling of being broken, the chipped pieces of hope like a broken plate getting lodged in your skin inexplicably at random times, when I just have to accept, to realize, to be okay with the fact that I may never love.
Wow this is so powerful. Aromantic is a term I never really understood so it was really insightful to hear your words and feel your pain and the eventual triumph in the realization that there is no normal.
This video hits different now that I came out as aromantic to myself.
Thank you. I feel seen and less alone. You described everything perfectly and I can relate to every word.
I'll send this to my friends too, maybe this will make us feel closer to each other 🌻
I'm sending lots of platonic love and cake to everyone reading this 🫂
Happy pride month 💚🤍🖤
Thank you for making that short , even if it’s just a short somebody can relate to that and even find themselves as an asexual
I needed to hear this. I find myself still hating myself for being aromatic because what it seems to mean for people who care about me. It makes me feel physically ill when people confess feelings for me because it usually means the death of a friendship. I resent it so much. I'm trying to accept myself for not having those urges
Uh hey skyen... You kinda started describing me there it felt like, and now I know there's a label to how I'm feeling.
I'm not 100% sure I'm completely under this umbrella, but it's definitely no small portion. Thanks for helping me learn something about myself
your videos about being aro have been helping me to come to terms with being aro myself. the more i hear, the more confident i am that i am this way, and the more i accept that. glad to hear i’m not the only one who’s felt they were a sociopath or smth. keep doing what you’re doing i appreciate you
I appreciate so much how articulate you are when expressing these feelings. I'm not aro/ace or anything, but it feels comforting to know complicated things like this can be put into words, even if not perfectly.
Thank you so much for this video, honestly. I've been thinking I might be aromantic for a while, and I'm still not sure, but seeing videos like this helps me feel more comfortable with that.
As someone whos asexual and actively going through that grief i really get you.
Thank you for sharing your experience so that others can feel seen :)
as someone going through trouble with identifying myself as an aromantic this post speaks to me. I've been feeling like this is what I am for quite a while now since I've Never developed crushes or had any interest in relationships, moreover just ended up hurting people that wanted a relationship with me and for the longest time I also thought that there's something incoherently wrong with me because I never knew what aromanticism even means and even though it resonates with me now that I know what it is, I'm still on the ropes with it. on one hand it describes what I've been through my whole life but on the other I always thought I just hadn't met the right person yet, but knowing that something like that might never happen, it's a tough pill to swallow, but posts like these creates this sort of inclusion that makes you feel less bad about yourself even though you may not know the other person experiencing them, thank you for sharing this tbskyen. :)
as another aromantic, thank you so much for this video. im fairly young, but ive still had these exact experiences and hearing them spoken by someone else is... humanizing, i guess.
I have to say it: I've always been thankful to you for making me develop a critical taste that today I'm quite proud about, because before I met your shorts art to me was something beautiful, yet so incomprehensible.
But today you did something absolutely extraordinary, introducing me to a topic that I always felt kinda awkward about when others tried to teach me about it. I'm not saying that I didn't respect the cause, I just, once again, didn't comprehend and feel like supporting it. I discovered myself as callous as never before, so thank you for these life changing videos, keep it up and make me feel like a complete piece of trash anytime you feel like doing it 💜
Skyen… I found your channel(s) when I had a random whim to learn more about LoL (even though I will still likely never play it) and I’ve watched nearly everything you’ve posted since, for precisely this reason: your bravery, vulnerability, sincerity, and stalwart inclusiveness are a balm against this ever-burning world. I am not aero, but I’m queer and poly and several other non-norminative things, and the sincere visibility you lend to oft-neglected demographics is more important and impactful than I think you know.
This short clip might save someone’s life. It likely already has. You are not alone, you are not broken: and more than that, what you do with your platform is a service to the world, a kindness to those who see themselves in your words.
I write for a living, and I struggle often with the dialectic between vulnerability or authenticity vs. self-indulgence and a need to be seen or praised. I think it’s a thing all creatives wrestle with in some way. If it is the case for you, know that you have walked that line between personal need and public service masterfully; know that you are doing good in the world, that you are deserving of praise, that your reflections of self and pontifications of media literacy are a boon to the world, even if you worry that they are not. Know that it is healthy to have both. It is okay to need to be seen while also working in service to art. You are still doing good. More than you will ever know.
Thank you for all that you do, and thank you for the way that you do it.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I originally found you when UA-cam Shorts started showing me your Dark Souls shorts. I have no interest in the game, and frankly only knew any details thanks to my best friend/QPP, but your analyses fascinated me. From Dark Souls to League to anime and manga, regardless of if I'm familiar with the source material, I found your videos insightful and strangely familiar, like listening to an old friend.
I wonder now if a part of that is the fact that we're both aromantic. I've found that, much like meeting another person with ADHD, the few times I find another person who is aromantic, there's that instant connection. We may be very different from each other, but we're also different from most of the world in this particular way.
There's a unique joy to learning that someone that I already like and admire is like me. Thank you for sharing.
When you relate to a video but for different reasons than the video talks about, anyway congrats and welcome to the community. Remember we're queen and here so ne in fear or shed a tear
Your words have helped me talk to my friend about his own feelings. He has come to me about similar feelings that you express and you have put it in words that I could never find. Thank you so much for being so honest, even when some people will never understand.
I'm just now finding this video, but growing up aroace, I feel this so, so, so much. It fucking hurt, it stabbed me in the gut. And I feel ya man. Just... ow.
I really appreciate that you are open to your viewers and are not shy/afraid to talk about your feelings. I wish you good luck in life, as well as happiness and self-confidence!
Thank you, Skyen. I have been grappling with my own aromanticism for a while now. Talking about it with others, especially others who identify similarly, has been a huge help. The value of community in understanding yourself is huge, and as an out creator you are a tributary of feelings of community. Thank you 😊
I wish I could have had something like this in middle school, even elementary school. Seeing stuff like this makes me feel so heard and understood when nobody else was able or willing to sympathize or understand my feelings for over a decade. Thank you so much, I didn't know I was aro until a couple years ago when I was 18 and it was a painful revelation. All my life I felt as if I was destined to be alone and than no one would ever love me because I was born to be some abusive sociopath that never stood a chance. I had always rationalized those feelings as just being too smart or too devoid of emotion to experience heartbreak, I had to convince myself I was dodging the bullet. I found your 2021 pride video after I had already realized I was aro and I connected with it so much on such a deep level I had never had before when I see others speak on their aro/ace spectrum experiences. I'm glad I got out of this pit of denial I was living in my entire life.
Happy Pride from this allosexual aromantic💚
You are one of my favorite creators and I am so happy to see your creations. As someone on the arospectrum, I feel so lucky to see creators openly talk about aromanticism, especially referencing one of my favorite stories. "love" you Skyen, as it were.
After watching 2023's Nimona . M . . . This hits HARD!!!!
Your writing is incredible, and your experience hits close to home
I'm happy that you came out , we love and support you.
I'm sure you know , but there is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU AND YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER .
Honey , love is overrated anyways
Media makes it like it's all that matters , but that's wrong , there are more important things, like dark soul analysis!
But Skyen, You are normal 🖤 Your voice soothed me to sleep many times and for this I'm grateful 🖤 much selflove, because it's something we all need
His voice is indeed soothing, I've been guilty of falling asleep listening to him talk as well
I never felt like a monster or anything like that, thankfully. I never really felt love. Dont get me wrong I care about people and I love them more than I should but I am just not attracted to either females or males. While every one of my friends talked about how they had a crush on that boy or girl and how they just broke up with their date I would just sit there wondering when I would find that passion within me. When would I be able to feel this wondrous and mysterious feeling everybody talks about. A feeling that makes you stop thinking rationally a feeling that makes you feel like that person is more important than your own existence and you want to be with them for the rest of your life. To be honest I never really cared about love. In middle school and high school I just brushed it off since most of my friends would go trough bad breakups so I concluded it would be best if I didnt try to hit on someone. The end of my High school was coming and I still havent met someone I found attractive. To be honest the thought that I wouldnt be able to fall in love did cross my mind but I brushed it off telling myself that it wasnt that serious and that I just havent found the right person. These denials quickly stopped working tho. The realization slowly kicked in so when I was sure I was just aromantic (and asexual) I didnt feel weird or anything. I was relieved actually now that I had an answer to a big question in my life. The fact that I never really forced myself to love someone also helped as it meant I didnt register love as a necessity. I am still living, kinda happily. I have my own personal problems but I am happy my love life or the lack thereof isnt one of them. I havent been able to tell this to my family since I dont want to ruin my mothers grandchildren dreams but I also dont want to marry a girl knowing that I wont be able to give her the love she deserves. This was my experience with my lack of the ability to love. If you have read this far thank you and have a nice day.
i watched this a year ago when it came out, and i thought i was aro then. I still do (im not ace tho), its been a particularly lonely night, rerealizing over and over that my best friends arent best friends with me, that everyone has a higher priority. its alienating. I still want love and connection, just in a different way. I even still want sex and things, just without love. I feel like a monster, broken, whatever i try not to think that stuff but its 3 am and here I am.
I relate to this so hard man. It's so, so, so nice seeing anyone dealing with anything similar to what I do. Knowing I'm not the only one. I cannot stress how much this means to me, really. Keep it up! You rule!
"The human experience is complicated and that should be OK...". That's summed it all.
I think we can appreciate how the "Human nature" isn't and shouldn't be considered the standard of human experience.
The passion on display here. The emotions. You are definitively capable of feeling.
As an aromatic asexual person, I know how you feel. It's always so comforting to know that you're not alone, but it's so hard to fully let go of what society has deemed to be the One Way to love. I know this video is a year and some months old, but it's cathartic to hear someone else talk about the things that I've felt and couldn't quite explain. I hope you are still doing okay!!
Great short, definitely will help a lot of people
Thank you, it's great to hear you talk about this again, you're amazing the way you are.
I may perhaps myself never fully understand how you experience the world, your life or other people but damn if I’m not happy I found your content TB for it has at the very least allowed me to discover a new way of looking at characters from my favourite stories.
Happy pride month everyone. You deserve be here and don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise
Yeah you described exactly how I feel about myself perfectly. Until recently I just kept forcing myself to act as if I just wasn't trying hard enough, acting as if I understood how to love. That I felt this was because as you said, I just never met the right person or maybe i was just lonely . And even now when I tell people they tend to act very dismissive and confuse being aromantic with being asexual. It just make me really happy to know that I'm not the only one , that more people get it. That we are not broken because we are "missing" something that we never had in the first place. Thank you.
Can't believe it's already been a year since I watched your original video. Honestly, thank you for making that and this one.
I don't think there's been a long period of time over the past year where I have not gone mentally gone over that video. I can still remember how understood, exposed, cared for, and elightened it made me feel.
This past year has been a mental roller coaster of of beating myself down to a pulp with "if only I had known I was like this, I could've avoided x, or I could've solved y, or I could have said this or that", but also of self discovery and newfound kindness for my own being.
I still don't think I am in a place where I can confidently say I'm aromantic, or if I'm demiromantic or whatever; but I'm now able to look at my past self and not think of him like the scum of the earth, but rather as a young human trying too hard to fulfil what he perceived as "normal" or to do what was expected of "a man".
Still long ways to go, but it all started with your video...and as corny as this may sound..from the bottom of my heart, thank you Skyen.
Thank you for sharing, Skyen. I hope this will help some folks to understand themselves and move on with their lives without needlessly torturing themselves.
1:40 holy shit that literally got me traring because is so true, people don't often realize how pure and awesome "art" is, for me there's nothing more beautiful than human expression and i learned a lot about life just watching tv or youtube, or just browsing internet in general because through the vision of others we find value on everything.
I hardly ever comment on anything, but happy pride month! You’re never alone and you are whole as you are, it simply is a long journey to get to that understanding.
I figured out I was aro about a year ago, in part because of videos like this that really helped describe the way I was feeling, or *not* feeling in this case. It was such a welcoming realization that there were others like me, that I'm not some emotionless husk that needs fixing. Thanks so much for sharing this.
I teared up watching this, you encapsulated so well what it’s like to be aromantic. Just another human experience 💚💚💚
Holy shit an aro creator……. This is amazing, I’m aromantic myself and I find it difficult to find any creators who actually make content I enjoy that are the same in this way.
People, specially from the queer community, need to learn to be more accepting when it comes to people's romantic identity. I don't understand what is so hard, I know that sometimes it's hard to imagine how someone else would be unable to have romantic feelings, hell, I know I can't, but that doesn't make aro people any less valid.
Honestly though, I don't understand why those that are attracted to only one gender would struggle to understand others (especially if you're not a cishet)...
You literally experience both attraction and lack of it depending on who's in front of you, how can you not fathom other variations of it??
@@crazydragy4233 You don't experience lack of attraction, you experience attraction that isn't to everyone. We're talking about the complete absence of attraction when it comes to aro people.
@@Macaulyn_97 are people in the queer community disrespectful or dismissive of aro identities because of my lived experience (15 years in the queer community) I’ve never seen that happening
@@isthatacatinyourpocket2548 Many people are.
@@Macaulyn_97 can you elaborate
Recently started to identify as ace.
It's similar but not the same.
That want for a connection and to find it in someone but it being ruined because they want me to feel something I just don't feel.
I never wanted to hurt anyone, I never will. So I love without lust and hope someday that will be enough for someone.
I am eternally grateful that I came across community so early and didn't have to spend decades thinking I am defective or broken.
!!! Oh wow! Its so awesome to see one of my favorite creators is also aromantic :o!! Awesome videos and glad to see another aro friend :]
Because of a video you released awhile back, I realized that I was aromantic after a lot of back and forth in my head. After just telling myself to just run with it for a bit, everything just felt correct. I never realized how I was confusing feelings for love when it was just something else in the end, but now that I do know, I've felt so much better. I have you to thank for that, and while we don't know each other at all, I'm still glad that you were able to inadvertently point me in the right direction.
I've always been pretty bad at saying how glad/thankful I am for things, so I'll just say thank you for being open about it, because it helped me discover more about who I am and how I function.
*hugs* I liked hearing about you experience. I'm just happy you're in a good place and learning about yourself. It took me a long time to learn about myself, and I'm still learning. I'm glad you do what you do 🥰
your previous video on being aromantic is the only reason I knew it was something you could be... and also helped me realize that I am.
Seeing this video, and Nicky’s video breaks my heart. I feel awful for both of you. I cannot relate to your struggles, but I can emphasize. It takes a lot of courage to admit your different, and with that I applaud you both for sharing.
Thank you for putting your story out there! It's helping me consider some stuff about myself, which I'm not sure I understand yet, but I'm more confident in trying different labels because of the work of you and people like you. Thanks again!
well, im happy to hear this. And so proud of you ! Even though we might have slight different struggles but were experiencing the same things. Really glad that you put this out in the world. Ive always loved your content and will always do.
King! Thanks for sharing your story. Representation matters a bunch for those that are still trying to figure out their own lived experience and others that just want to learn. I'm grateful you feel comfortable enough with your audience that you've trusted us with your authentic self. That isn't always easy. Happy pride my friend :)
You just described me. Thank you for explaining and sharing such things. Thank you for being that kind of content creator that I can take as a good example of good person in many ways. So thank you for being here and sharing !
It is a beautiful message. I do not fully understand how deep it goes actually. To me it is a message about acceptance and understanding but maybe there's even more to it.
I’m aro and it’s rough to see something I don’t feel sometimes but I have accepted it steadied my heart to it, it still hurts sometimes. I so often watch shows and see a character not clearly having a love subplot from the outright and hope and pray for an aro rep but I’ve only found it in bloom into you ironically a girls love story but somehow has one that like me has accepted it, one that is trying to find love (edit they could also just falsely understand love from books and stuff but whatever semantics) and a third that only seemed to find any love in one person possibly not wanting it reciprocated, because of this I adore bloom into you even if it’s main plot is love something I’ll never understand.
So glad you're able to understand how you trully feel dude. I myself have never really felt real love for about 18 years, and it's weird how people treat you differently just because you don't feel the same exact things they do. I do love someone now, and i'm really happy about it, but if i never did it wouldn't make me wrong or anything.
Hope you one day manage to fully live in peace with this, no one deserves to be treated badly for just feeling differently...
This was very raw and it moved something in me. Thank you for sharing.
thank you for posting this. i'm a mess of emotions and tears right now, but this clicked on a level i didn't even think was possible. i have done this, i have felt this, deep down in my bones, and it's served as a wakeup call for me. i am aromantic. now i just need to learn how to be okay with that
I only found out a couple months ago and hearing people have the exact same comments feels very validating
Thank you love your vids and shorts :)
i think that both you and nicky need to hear that even if you can't experience it, that you still deserve the love and support that comes your way, in fact i think you guys often go underappreciated imo