What is Consent? | Menisms Ep. 5
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- Опубліковано 9 бер 2022
- The topic of consent in our society is a very sensitive one. However, have you ever wondered in-depth about what goes on in a man's head when it comes to consent?
In this episode of Menisms, @olumurewa and @sonariwoondeck educate us on aspects of consent that men may or may not have paid attention to. It's a lot, but it's the best one yet.
Be sure to like, subscribe and follow us @menismspod and @madeauxafrica on all our social media platforms.
The audio pod is also available on all major podcast streaming platforms! - Розваги
A podcast where they don't use 'alpha male' every 5 second? subscribed.
Murewa is so right!!! That useless “apply pressure” thing is why guys say things like “just the tip” or “let me enter, I won’t move”.
Iyama
Sonariwo has soo many college stories bruhh for every topic 😂😂. Great conversation. Another part of consent, a lot of people don’t talk, is that understanding that consent still remains even in a relationship or marriage and coercion (emotional manipulation, begging, gaslighting etc) is NOT CONSENT and if sex or any sexual act happens in that scenario it is a form of sexual assault.
This podcast is so interesting I’m about to cry. Idk why my guy friends don’t say these things. Some us have no idea what’s going on in your heads??
Consent is quite tricky, but communication is major
“Can I kiss you? “Are you comfortable with me doing that ? “Are you sure wanna do this?
Yes. Communication is key
Love the topic. Most Nigeria men don't know much about consent and they should be aware of it. I totally agree with Murewa in some situation(s) the women should take some responsibilities as well. I.e the scenario Murewa gave i don't think it's fair for a lady to be nake in front of a guy that she knows he is attracted to her without the intention of doing the do. That's ridiculous and unfair to the guy. I think both parties invloved should always create a conducive space for each other not just the men. To avoid unnecessary tension/stories both parties should always communicate. Thank you guys for a great topic 🙏
Murewa's first ex-girlfriend really did a number on him. Azinnnn, every detail about her In all the episodes gives us a clear understanding about her kinda person. But we still have to thank her sha, cuz she laid the foundation for the experiences that shaped him into the relationship 'semi-expert' that he is today😄
This episode went so well my coffee break! Consent is a Topic that cannot be overemphasized! Cz it’s sad that even in this day and Age some guys still do not understand the concept. I think it’s very sexy when a guy asks me ‘can I kiss you?’ “Is it ok if I hold u?” Before proceeding to do so. and also seeking consent even though we’ve been together before. Great show Guys!🔥 and Murewa is Looking really Dashing in that short sleeve shirt! I likey 😍
Lol. I was going to type this!
I love how Micheal just had to be honest about that whole coming over to my place thing. Most times that chilling and nice discussion Murewa was talking about would end up in bed and now most woman don’t want things to turn out that way
Still watching the but tbh, coming from someone living abroad where they don't play with this consent thing (I don't know what it is like in Naij now cause I haven't been in years), we need to have it where both parties voice their consent on these situations even before linking. All these "games" we play are very risky. Both parties need to establish what time they are on before the girl even comes over, but I guess with the way sex is stigmatized in society today (even though everybody dy knack last last), women don't feel comfortable being straight forward with their intentions so as not to come off as slutty. It's a sticky one still tbh.
Facts...
Ahhh!! 55 minutes?!! I don't believe it! Y'all finally increased the discussion time. Nice! Going to watch this during my lunch break.
Yayyy😋😋 come back and tell us what you think too
To fellow ladies I will say the best bet is to be direct in your communication. Let your no be your no and your yes be your yes. Try to avoid doing it under the influence for better clarity and make sure your both on the same page before you get yourself into a situation.
I remember the first girl I asked out. We'd been talking for like a month and there was vibes. So, I asked her out and she said no, so I was like okay cool, guess we'll just stay friends. And she got annoyed that I let it go and didn't "apply pressure"
I like that this episode is longer☺️
I'm really surprised Murewa is dressed casually today 😏
You took the words from my mouth😂😂
About first date, what works for me at this stage of my life is first establishing a rapport, in the past I usually preferred her coming over(so I could quickly drop some pressure on her) but as my bag got bigger and got a bit matured, I rather be touring the whole Lagos with her, first date is always outside, going for a walk at freedom park, LCC, Lagos beaches, Karaoke sessions, restaurants, the whole nine yards, but first the rapport gotta earn us these.
About going to people's houses for first dates, it's very important for both parties to know what they want. I met up with someone on a first date in their home and it was totally cool and fun. Although, we had built a strong connection/bond via texts and chats before meeting in person. We hung out, he cooked, and we went out for a walk afterwards. We are still very good friends today.
You're so right ! Communication and understanding each other is very important
This was such an enlightening discussion. Thanks guys🙂
I love how transparent olumurewa is on this show. I believe sonari wants to always be politically correct. Other than that, it’s very interactive.
😃😃😃
Murewa gave a detailed explanation on consent 👏🏾👏🏾
Assertive Man; I'd say the Difficulty in Reciprocating love to S/he... to it's right Proportion is just killing it for me and in this recent times(4decades ago). Even as a Psychologist(mind study), knowing how to love someone to that Persons taste Nd Accepted is so difficult even wen I know dey love me back. The ultimate is Marriage, getting it Perfect and that Phenomenon is just so Twisted. We have learnt so much, Why we have so many Half-baked or Almost-done love Process Nd marriages cos of the impossibility of Standards we set As the (Jet Age Generation). Now we created BM, so much so called Baby Mama's who single And not even 3rd wife's. So lost and backward Generation that's have Regressed to being Babies like Dating in Sec Sch or High Sch where we set so much Standards for our Egos and stick to it. They Just End the Gf/Bf Nd now Grown ups; They carry a Child along to justify self worth and Extortion. I'd say to S/he,, man up Nd Complete a process(be ready) b4 Responsibility cos we have broken dis new Kids Far more than Nuclear family men broke their Children hitting d mom. I won't grow up in a Baby mama home and not be a Rebel... I was born of Rebellism. Be Wise, Warned. We are bringing up a Dead/Bad-Deed Generation so expect worse. The Consent here is A lifetime thing/Ultimate for me.
~Dr Chef Ashvine
This was a good topic. Keep up the good content
Nice topic guys, kudos👍💪
Really like how you guys broke down the issues under the topic 🥺, it makes me understand the whole concept of consent more, especially the man’s perceptive of it 👍🏾
interesting conversation I agree that men should be educated on consent.
Nice content 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
My advice to Lagos girls is this: Please when you go on a date with someone you aren’t intimate with, Make sure you pay for a service yourself. Let him see you do that, it sends a signal to a gentleman that you aren’t a property or a “thing” but a human with knowledge of your full rights. It also reduces the pressure on you
Beautiful contents as usual 🔥😍
Okrrrrrrt!!!
Wonderful content as always
YKTV
I personally use the phrase ‘He’s too nice’. It simply equates to ‘I’m not feeling him’. You have to be a bit ‘guy guy’ not too ‘geeky’.
Hmmm okay 🤔
A girl can be feeling you , she’d even go to your house and y’all would get into it and in the middle of the act she’d want you to stop , it could be for a million reasons. Just let her be . We change our mind anyhow .
sonari looks very good in the episode
A lot of misunderstanding. So I had girl who likes me for a while, told me she likes me and am would like to kiss me. Then a party happened at my place and I was drunk and she too was drunk, which I felt, “okay, she just wants to do this.” Then she told her friend that they should call me for her and one came to tell me. I went over there and I tried to take her away you know. Only for one of her friends to come and say, “no you can’t do that, she is drunk bla bla bla.” I was like very confused.
Murewa is so handsome 😊 I know he's a romantic guy man of my dreams
oya go and DM him this
@@erwinayota613 don't go their oo😂 na Instagram influencers murewa go like o
I'm just an ordinary girl
Not sure I'm his spec
Murewa 😍
Finally heard the real pronounciation of this Channel’s name….. tell me why I thought it was pronounced Mad oooo
That’s correct 😌 Madeaux = Mad oh
For some ladies playing games, teasing, manipulation, power, blackmail and being a seductress is mercenary, so transparency and explicit communication like you guys stated is key. Explore explicit consent, permission and agreement for sex to happen. Being spontaneous is scary nowadays - even between husband and wife! In the UK sleeping with your wife without her expressed consent is rape. So tread cautiously with babes oooooo😉😃
We sure do have many 'topics for another day' 😅
But when a woman allows you to cuddle her in that state means she’s likes you and is okay for you to go ahead. Sometimes we are shy and wouldn’t want to look like we are desperate you understand? Some guys misread the concept at times however we sometimes act out of experience. So the best thing is understanding your partner make sure to talk about everything. To know where things go wrong
Spot on!
Consent can be really tricky and I think you guys did justice to the topic but the scenarios you're giving are of people just having sex for the first time. What of consent with people you've had sex with multiple times, you know the signs and signals the grey line of what is or isn't consent really does vanish. PS why would you invite someone you're meeting someone for the first time to your house do you not care for your safety 😒 personally it's a red flag, it means you allow people have too much know.
My advice to we men: Until you hear a Yes!! Don’t start or insinuate, and then please always check back time to time for a yes after the first Yes and also when you are getting more intimate. God(universe) created “moaning” sounds for a reason. A No cancels all Yes, forget body language.
she might not want it but would give in because it seems she has no other choice. Its best you just ask her, can i touch you? Can i kiss you?or whatever. Saves you from unnecessary stories.
Growing up, when I ask this particular babe if I could kiss her, she keeps telling me no, when I didn't ask, she leaped for joy, lips got wetter you know the rest. Its a very tricky thing. I've never asked anyone for consent sha, if I don't get an unequivocal No then its a deafening Yes.
Yes gals be serpent and say Don't Do this but expect/want u to Do it even Harder. (Fishy)(Twisted). Mostly Dem young ones though.
Guys, not to forget how peacocks mate 😄
I feel just avoid the act all together if there's the slightest chance you don't want to... As ladies if there any iota of second thought just don't move to or allow the guy... As a guy be very sure and move away once u notice anything off.. And don't continue if she changes her mind and accepts..
1:56 so saying 'as a man' is now an offence? The world is going nuts
The consent topic is really confusing in its own, because as you waiting for consent and a man refuse to see it, or maybe doesn't see it... Women would call it ooh your too dense..
Communication is actually very important it makes the issue of consent way easier, nd yea look out for the negative signals it will save ur ass trust nd believe that😂😂😂
You've got that right!
First notice, murewa not wearing suit today, is it bcos sonariwo once said murewa look like a married man in suit😂
Second notice, sonariwo speaking is not a Nigeria English n if I don't focus I won't hear clearly, is so funny to me though
The second scenario was my best friend who we actually let me date her but I went for her friend. After I broke up, she normally comes around to do things for me. Then on my birthday she decided to come and sleep over wearing a skimpy dress. Well, I was tempted of course, we had feelings for each other. Then at night, I was being all touchy and even went down there and she was really wet. After few intervals, she will call my name and say stop. I will stop. Then go again (pushing harder like you said) then she says stop again. I was hard and she was wet. The next day she left my place without anything happening. We stopped seeing after a while and she got to tell me later
Lack of consent is why most guys are been accused of rape…
I'm very sorry to say but - "SOME" ladies, "SOMETIMES", play "victim" and shift blame as a means of absolution from guilt when things don't play out well between them and the guy. They'll throw the guy under the bus immediately they get casted. I've seen it happen severally(No Lies).
Please, before you bash me, read the comment all-over carefully. I will never support Coercive force❌❎.
y'all threading carefully around this topic.... nobody wants to fully commit🤣
Looll.!!..you get!😂😂
🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾
But is there ever anything as “too nice”??…I feel the lady is just not interested in the guy
We can't really say. You know, everyone has what they like and what appeals to them. Nice guys, not very nice guys. It all depends on what you need
@@madeauxafrica This is true. In some situations, though, especially when events are analyzed retrospectively, it turns out that the girl/guy who was "too nice" had an ulterior motive e.g., there were seeking to "groom" their partner, so to speak, get them to lay their guard down, even become more reliant on them before the "nice person's" true characters are revealed; e.g. controlling, needy, insecure, sumn worse...etc. Oftentimes, when someone is "too nice" when y'all just met, it can seem like they're over-compensating for something and be a bit overwhelming for the recipient.
@@Nadylisa you’re right! Sounds to me like “ love bombing”
This show is called “Menism”, detailing the Nigerian male perspective. You were correct by saying “As a men” 😊. This show is not called “feminism”. These people can go elsewhere if they want a women’s perspective 💯🫠.. Stick to your North Star and objective for YOUR show
omrewa is trying to be politically correct