Re-thinking the Fijian Man | Jope Tarai | TEDxSuva

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  • Опубліковано 30 тра 2016
  • Jope’s experience of growing up in a household facing domestic violence sparked an interest in gender and politics. His academic research is driven by first hand knowledge of how these social structures affect people’s lives every day.
    His experience led him to rethink what it means to be a Fijian man in today’s society and to question the role and power that he has as a man in Fiji.
    Jope’s talk invites us all to re-think the Fijian man.
    Jope Tarai is a research student and teaching assistant at the University of the South Pacific (USP) who spent his early years growing up in the interior parts of Fiji before moving to Suva.
    He is dedicated to research in areas of diplomacy, Pacific politics, youth development, social media and gender where he challenges the traditional structure and asks people to question the status quo.
    Jope attended Assemblies of God Primary School (A.O.G) and Stella Maris before moving to Marist Brothers High School (MBHS) before completing his tertiary studies at the University of the South Pacific (USP).
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 125

  • @yozahr
    @yozahr 5 років тому +43

    This is SOO important. Thank you for sharing your story and recognising the underlying privilege Fijian men have in the culture. Every Fijian man needs to watch this.

  • @regularsubb2037
    @regularsubb2037 8 років тому +47

    The REAL Fijian man! so honest. I love this so much!!

  • @iLiveOnFijiTime
    @iLiveOnFijiTime 8 років тому +47

    Vinaka vakalevu Jope. Toto'a va'a oji! Luluvu saraga a yaloqo niu rogoca a omu tu'uni 'ei na omu va'asama. Having grown up in similar circumstances, I applaud you. We need more Fijians like you. This was honest and to the point. I hope your message is taught in school and churches around Fiji.

  • @datura420420
    @datura420420 7 років тому +20

    this Man displayed moral courage something most men lack..the courage to speak about something that is hidden in the dark.."the light shone in the dark but the dark comprehended it not".Jah bless Viti kei Rotuma..

  • @paullatif4092
    @paullatif4092 11 місяців тому +1

    Bula my brother,
    Today 2nd July 2023 ~ I am listening to you and hugely respect your honesty with openness.
    Fiji has come a long way and may your TedTalk continue to enable all men to show respest to our women in our lives.
    Vinaka vaka levu from NZ !!
    💓🇫🇯🙏

  • @jnrseru5135
    @jnrseru5135 7 років тому +16

    excellent bro, thoroughly enjoyed that. Its about time we speak out the truth of the sad fact of the way our mothers, sister and indigenous females are treaded in Fiji. Every Fijian men should watch this and learn that we are our own worst enemy.....

  • @mecavallie
    @mecavallie 5 років тому +12

    I've watched this video several times and its still moves me every time. Thank you for being honest and raw, Jope. I've had the privilege of meeting you in person and your awareness of self and the changes that you and other men in Fiji are embodying is very promising. Keep up the great work champ! There is hope for our men and boys in the region because of the work you and others do.

  • @datura420420
    @datura420420 7 років тому +78

    the problem of abuse in our families is a problem with us men not knowing what is a man.we have become overgrown teenagers expecting our wife to pickup and clean up after us as our mother's did and we lash out when the wife doesn't measure up.instead of managing our families as God intended we have abandoned our responsibilities and lumped all on our women so we can carryon with our teenage activities of playing and watching rugby drinking kava and talking crap

    • @jamesaly3657
      @jamesaly3657 6 років тому

      Rasta Trees , Right on bro !! This has to change for the betterment of the cultural problems.

    • @mama052
      @mama052 4 роки тому

      Hit the nail right on the head. Vinaka

    • @annaathehobiware882
      @annaathehobiware882 4 роки тому

      So true

    • @onyx081
      @onyx081 3 роки тому

      The main problem is that indigenous people have no business following European religions and beliefs that was forced upon them through colonialism. You could probably solve this problem and many others if indigenous people would put down their bibles and stop worshiping white Jesus and his imaginary sky daddy. European religion has been the main cause of chaos and destruction of indigenous people and cultures all over the world. You shouldn't be getting your spiritual guidance from European belief systems which were designed to control and destroy indigenous peoples

  • @titilianaitini464
    @titilianaitini464 8 років тому +29

    vinaka vakalevu Jope..we need Fijian men like you to address how culture plays a role in gender biases and it is a learned behaviour..so proud of you and Aggie would be so proud hearing your story..She was my classmate and a best of friend....Isa...Her dad was my dads friend too.(veterans).They lived up the road from us..Nasinu...Isa..she told me how her sickness was affecting her...later met her mum -told me she passed away..

  • @alexisgreig
    @alexisgreig 6 років тому +13

    Wow, this is monumental and one that has my full respect and many others. Thank you Jope for being a man of understanding and change. You are a world changer!

  • @kingdombanner2312
    @kingdombanner2312 8 років тому +35

    He is right in saying that Fijian native culture need redeeming big time. The mentality that women are 2nd class citizen and men rulez, what a bunch of lies.

  • @legendfmfiji4844
    @legendfmfiji4844 8 років тому +25

    So glad it's up. Of all the brilliant talks that night, this was the one that had the most impact...

  • @makingmemoriescustomcharte7268
    @makingmemoriescustomcharte7268 8 років тому +7

    This needs to be shown in all schools. You're a gentleman Jope, as all men should be.

  • @ese4368
    @ese4368 7 років тому +35

    Domestic Violence in fiji is real and most people in fiji has experience this in person or know someone who has suffered from this!

  • @sandpaper631
    @sandpaper631 4 роки тому +8

    You need to write a book Jope, raise more awareness on this

  • @kesanaisara5155
    @kesanaisara5155 6 років тому +4

    Vinaka vakalevu Jope Tarai. We need more men like you to say it as it is. We need to rethink the Fijian Man.

  • @imtmvm9107
    @imtmvm9107 3 роки тому +3

    He is spitting facts! In every Fijian home, women are taught to persevere no matter what their husbands do. They are told this by their own mothers, mothers-in-law, grandmothers, and even sisters. As youths, we need to start changing our mindets. Please start praying for your future spouses now, because that is the person you will spend the rest of your life with.

  • @Kaiveikau
    @Kaiveikau 8 років тому +10

    This is so Powerful, Vinaka Vaka levu ....

  • @bennayare3080
    @bennayare3080 7 років тому +20

    straight talking hitting the nail on the head wananavu

  • @jp5046
    @jp5046 8 років тому +6

    Isa ...watching and listening to this excellent presentation...brought tears to my eyes. Your mum was a colleague and my spouse's best friend. Vinaka Vakalevu Jope...you really made her and all of us proud.

  • @sienna3830
    @sienna3830 4 роки тому +2

    This has got to be my favourite tedxsuva talk! Great job Jope addressing issues that can be overlooked in Fijian households! Yes let’s bring on the new Fijian man !

  • @ladskees
    @ladskees 5 років тому +8

    Bruuuuhhh!! This was a deep and meaningful speech!! I totally agree with it all!! So happy I can across this.

  • @lusiana05
    @lusiana05 8 років тому +2

    Jope ... you the man. Brilliant, powerful and tear jerking .... take a bow !!

  • @nikeeddie9430
    @nikeeddie9430 2 роки тому +1

    As indigenous Fijian man rite hia, this is something that is very very important to all Fijian man or every man. I heard in the very early days in fiji that man always respect their wife. When the alcohol arrives in fiji, that when things start change. I always remembered when I was young bk in the days when my dad got drunk, we just followed our mother hiding in the bush cos my dad was so aggressive. Anyway! Long story short, we just can't wait to see my dad the next day cos he completely change without alcohol. Well, this advice is very very good, as for all Fijian man and my self, we have to take this words (Fijian man) in a new beginning. New Fijian warriors means hard worker, and respect your wife and families and god.

  • @CresantiaFKoya
    @CresantiaFKoya 8 років тому +5

    Strong message Jope. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal and thought provoking message. It may not be the only Fijian male experience but it is a powerful one that does need to be addressed and you have opened the conversation for more dialogue on this issue. Powerful delivery!

  • @samcuthbert1266
    @samcuthbert1266 6 років тому +36

    I'm 1/4 Maori and only 1/8th Fijian I'm also 1/8th samoan... I talk to a lot of white people about this also and we all agree Fijians are much calmer much more friendly and agreeable than other Polynesian who sometimes tend to be aggressive and annoying wannabes... tbh we agree that Fijians are quiet and tend not to say much compared to other islanders who annoy the rest of us.... the Fijians are probably stronger also they just don't have to prove it by " stepping someone out"... it's common to see maoris Samoans tongans etc throwing up wannabe gang signs but you never see Fijians doing it

    • @bobbye.wright4424
      @bobbye.wright4424 5 років тому +2

      Sam Cuthbert are fijian people polynesian or melanesian as in people from vanuatu solomon islands papua new guinea

    • @thomasmataloa
      @thomasmataloa 5 років тому +3

      Anthony Mcphail fijians are Melanesians with polynesian admixture, esp with people from the eastern part of Fiji in Lau, where their culture has stronger Tongan influence, they also wear the Ta'Ovala(Mats) during funerals and other functions.

    • @1Ma9iN8tive
      @1Ma9iN8tive 4 роки тому +1

      Bobby E. Wright - the English terms Micronesian, Melanesian and Polynesian are redundant. We who are the pacific nations are one and the same families of peoples living diverse expressions of unique interpretations culturally of what it means to be human beings living in Te Moananui a Kiwa ki raro ki ngā whetū a te Paeroa o Whānui. Our connectivity far exceeds our physical, cultural, philosophical differences and divergences. We are connected by the ocean not separated.

    • @noelenenailatica650
      @noelenenailatica650 Рік тому

      It comes down to what’s acceptable in ones culture and upbringing. Each island is different.
      Plus I wonder if the islanders you’re calling wannabes are born and raised in NZ because environment also influences people/children

  • @segrana
    @segrana 8 років тому +2

    Vinaka Jope - very well spoken and helping identify a very sensitive topic that has affected many - job very well done!!

  • @thomasharryprasad6756
    @thomasharryprasad6756 7 років тому +6

    Vinaka for sharing for change...

  • @vasitisaqusaqu2567
    @vasitisaqusaqu2567 8 років тому +4

    Well said Jope, your story is very true, and well illustrated. Your late mum was a strong and beautiful woman, just like my very own late tavale Vaseva Toaisi (also a teacher) who was pictured with your mum.. :'( vinaka vakalevu for sharing your story..Jope....

  • @korro5870
    @korro5870 3 роки тому +1

    I hope one day new generations in Fiji will vote this man into Parliament . Fiji needs some well spoken man with visions and wisdom from above to manoeuvre and take our country forward. People that talk sense and meaning of their words runs deep into our heart - a modern man but remain true to his roots and most of all - Respect, Humble & Intelligent.

  • @northernfinn2998
    @northernfinn2998 3 роки тому +2

    So powerful vinaka i my self fearlessly challenge my father at the age of 11 to stop him from hurting my mother .Fijian man proud, fijian man reboot .power n pride r our love ones

    • @DILLIGAF679
      @DILLIGAF679 3 роки тому +1

      issssaaaa bro/sis... my prayers and thoughts are with you... May God Bless you and your Family

  • @djago3580
    @djago3580 5 років тому +2

    Much respect from Moluccas, West-Melanesia.

  • @sailiemanulilomaiava-dokto9320
    @sailiemanulilomaiava-dokto9320 5 років тому +3

    Mahalo and faafetai for your timely and very relevant discussion, god bless.

  • @johnhawkins5943
    @johnhawkins5943 6 років тому +4

    greeting from Ireland, i loved this video, well done that MAN.

  • @ridoseriri5691
    @ridoseriri5691 7 років тому +5

    Wow! This is awesome! I think it's time to shed some light on this topic of domestic violence against women and men too. It's 2017 now and I think as a Fijian person we need to change our ways.

  • @shahnazsahukhan5331
    @shahnazsahukhan5331 5 років тому +6

    Your mum would’ve been so proud 🙏🏿

  • @marianawaqa2625
    @marianawaqa2625 8 років тому +6

    Both brave and evocative, vinaka

  • @charlesemptybeach8381
    @charlesemptybeach8381 5 років тому +1

    Honest and to the point Presentation. What gets me is the culture of lordship and ownership we were brought up with stays with us. It affects us as we move on to our married life. Like the often use of jargon "gonelailai vakarorogo"---listen you kid or "tikolo vakarorogo" -- shut up and listen. This terms are somehow engraved in our brains that really is problematic when we are assimilated Into the western cultures that makes up think within the box rather than outside the box. Vinaka Jope

  • @KemuQoroya
    @KemuQoroya 8 років тому +2

    Wow! Powerful! Vinaka Jope for sharing your story.

  • @simplemari679
    @simplemari679 Рік тому +1

    Speech was really touching. Thank so much sir for that small talk, I hope it would change 'itaukei men's' perspective and also change the itaukei mindset as a whole. Being a university student, I can still see, that although we are here at university level, itaukei perspective on life is still narrow minded. I just hope this speech will change that. Vinaka.

  • @herbertrabua5301
    @herbertrabua5301 7 років тому +8

    This was amazing.👏👏
    I was not aware that we had TEDx in Fiji. If there will another one, could someone inform me, or if someone could let me know where to find the information for the next one.

  • @feudeffect7162
    @feudeffect7162 6 років тому +5

    I'm Fijian. Born and raised in Fiji. This video is truly moving, I'd like to emulate you some day.Wananavu..duavata ena nomuni vanananu.

  • @tymesix
    @tymesix 4 роки тому +1

    Beautifully presented....with meanings, thank you.
    Yes Religion & Culture. As being Christians predominantly we were continually called to continue to christianize our culture by our ownself.
    I see itaukei Man's downfall is in our inability to fully understand Jesus and his fundamental principles. With that (Christian values) every individual man and woman should know what is right and wrong, love and hate, do's & don't......etc.

  • @tylevu1198
    @tylevu1198 8 років тому +2

    Brilliant talk, love it. Well done to the speaker for speaking on a subject that is somewhat taboo in our society

  • @serevi5241
    @serevi5241 5 років тому

    Vinaka Jope a well put together piece. The macho in our culture has a very deep root and without learning and discussion a lot of the issues will be smoked screen with traditions like bulubulu. Which has a place in our culture but should not be used as a shallow way to forget the issue. Its encouraging to know Fijian man like you are questioning the norm and paradigm are beginning to shift. As fijians I think our ancestors did amazing with whatever resources they had and created social and traditional positions to deal with issues that they faced. Overtime most of the positions that were created to deal with those issues at those time remained the same as social issues have evolved into something else or totally new. So the behaviour we see with the modern Fijian man is a direct product of the ever changing social live that we live and locally and the imported one as well. Traditional title that Fijian man relate too and hold dear hasn't change for years. We have become caretakers of this titles and haven't done so much in recognising the very basic fact of why they were created. If you were a gonedau you fished. You took care of a issue. As issues evolve and more resources become available i think traditional title should also , to deal with the issues at hand. If not create a new one. We might not be able to trace back the origins of the traditional titles but we can make history and make new ones to deal with current issues that we face currently.

  • @Jk_edit679
    @Jk_edit679 8 років тому +1

    Totoka vakaoti Jope!! So honest and profound!!

  • @DKRavunakana
    @DKRavunakana 7 років тому +1

    Vinaka Jope, thank you sharing your experience.

  • @matairavulam
    @matairavulam 3 роки тому

    Beautifully said Jope ❤️ God bless you.

  • @bennayare3080
    @bennayare3080 7 років тому +7

    good thinking time for a realistic change

  • @billnanovu5683
    @billnanovu5683 2 роки тому

    An awesome lecturer as well, this man is. Thank you for your talk.

  • @jdennisdyer770
    @jdennisdyer770 3 роки тому +1

    Serve the Lord your God. Its not about us it's about him.Amen

  • @kalogucake7090
    @kalogucake7090 2 роки тому

    This is a very beautiful TED talk. Now I must show it to my Dad

  • @sainimili07
    @sainimili07 8 років тому +1

    Brilliant! Thank you for sharing your perspective.

  • @lillianfuata6927
    @lillianfuata6927 8 років тому +1

    Such a powerful presentation!!!.. A very familiar voice of our society.. Well done!!

  • @mama052
    @mama052 4 роки тому +1

    Vinaka Vakalevu Jope

  • @avesikalokalo5157
    @avesikalokalo5157 4 роки тому +4

    Who's back here in 2019? ✊✊

  • @marleyratutiko2856
    @marleyratutiko2856 8 років тому +3

    Such a powerful message

  • @yaca2512
    @yaca2512 8 років тому +1

    Fantastic Work Jope! Keep up the effort; Stay blessed Brother.

  • @kalodude
    @kalodude 5 років тому +1

    Vinaka. It IS about time we re-think the Fijian man!!

  • @savenacatotovosau4283
    @savenacatotovosau4283 8 років тому +2

    something to think about right here ! vinaka OB

  • @KingKong-xt9fk
    @KingKong-xt9fk 5 років тому +4

    I love how your mum stayed true to her vows...its hard to find woman like that now days.
    Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
    Proverbs:31:30

  • @serarose2815
    @serarose2815 8 років тому +2

    Absolutely love this❤️❤️

  • @ulamilatuiweli95
    @ulamilatuiweli95 8 років тому

    such a powerful message. Vinaka

  • @25Silver
    @25Silver 7 років тому +8

    All true but remember if only every so called Fijian men truly understand that if they all truly live up to the standard of The Word of God they too can understand to respect Others especially their wives.

  • @airinemanwo481
    @airinemanwo481 2 роки тому

    Excellent talk💯

  • @LauanZiggy
    @LauanZiggy 8 років тому +1

    Outstanding!! 👌

  • @ulamilakunatuba6169
    @ulamilakunatuba6169 8 років тому +3

    I love this 👏👏

  • @danielnaulivou8221
    @danielnaulivou8221 8 років тому

    Couldn't be more on point

  • @ishmaellotawa2858
    @ishmaellotawa2858 5 років тому

    Powerful.!!

  • @lildarlin85
    @lildarlin85 7 років тому +4

    brilliant just brilliant

    • @jamesaly3657
      @jamesaly3657 6 років тому

      Sera Waqatalei , brilliant indeed and very articulate in his speech too , This where good education system comes in.

  • @makemovonolo2598
    @makemovonolo2598 5 років тому +1

    Standing Ovation...Just Wow..

  • @docredz3471
    @docredz3471 7 років тому

    Great speech with truth vinaka

  • @tv2671
    @tv2671 3 роки тому +1

    How is he sharing this without crying?😭

  • @boxing0013
    @boxing0013 7 років тому

    nice!! good talk!

  • @cassiesmith9956
    @cassiesmith9956 5 років тому

    Well said!

  • @AzineDzn
    @AzineDzn 4 роки тому

    important!!

  • @zackzacky9730
    @zackzacky9730 8 років тому +1

    Well said 👏👏👏

  • @michellereddy8093
    @michellereddy8093 8 років тому +3

    Freaking fantastic

  • @timocilutu
    @timocilutu 8 років тому

    very true..

  • @susiet2367
    @susiet2367 8 років тому

    interesting.... 👍👌

  • @adiunaisi1921
    @adiunaisi1921 7 років тому +1

    ememi ❤️

  • @sk6843
    @sk6843 7 років тому +1

  • @ft8078
    @ft8078 6 років тому

    REAL TALK LUV IT ❤❤❤✊✊✊

  • @JAS510
    @JAS510 7 років тому

    Damnnn...

  • @savvyissha6415
    @savvyissha6415 7 років тому

    nice

  • @utikonabunobuno3537
    @utikonabunobuno3537 5 років тому

    The Fijian society as we are today has evolved a great deal.. There could be so many reference points, such as the 'Vuda Landing' at North Western Viti Levu.. Or, we could use the Tako - Lavo of before that landing, where there were no chiefs and society was governed by elder-ship.. We could also use the civil strife and warring tribes in fight for a piece of land and claim of dominance, as a point of reference.. The advent of modern Christian religious sects is another point in time of reference.. Then we have Colonialism as the only point most of us living today can refer to, together with the introduction of a new race of people - the girmitya of India.. Lastly we have the post-independece era that brought about globalization and its complexities..
    Depending on which era and the cultural derivative of which that 'Fijian' man's character setting is moulded upon and used as a reference point, our opinion of it and definitions can differ..
    I like what the Late Professor Ropate Qalo said (which was used ad the Title of one of his Books) - "The thinking of thinking" translated as "Na vakasamataki ni vakasama"..
    It's all in the mind...

  • @rootitioti7136
    @rootitioti7136 8 років тому

    Awesome Speach

  • @seruuru8953
    @seruuru8953 7 років тому

    Totoka Ratu Jope, moni kalouagata..!

  • @asayahdelayah8573
    @asayahdelayah8573 2 роки тому

    It's interesting the Fijian Women doesn't only do the cooking, washing and cleaning up in the home.. she's also become a plumber, a carpenter n a farmer..!! I am one. Shalom..!! Because the man is so high in authority and have become a slumber instead of a plumber..a talker and advisor instead of a doer..!!

  • @LaniBolea
    @LaniBolea 7 років тому

    totoka jope! vinaka vakalevu

  • @isoasmall
    @isoasmall 7 років тому +1

    awesome

  • @growvuna1737
    @growvuna1737 5 років тому

    Vinaka Jope. "Na Vanua kei na Lotu".

  • @tupouvere4151
    @tupouvere4151 8 років тому

    Vinaka vakalevu Tarai.

  • @ros681
    @ros681 8 років тому

    Vinaka Jope

  • @apenisanawaqatabu1941
    @apenisanawaqatabu1941 7 років тому +1

    POWERFUL INDEED RATU JOPE.
    BIG VINAKA VAKALEVU.

  • @kulima7391
    @kulima7391 2 роки тому

    THE LEADER I AM REFERRING TO IS NOAH

  • @melsab2864
    @melsab2864 2 роки тому

    Vinaka bro expirienced the same thing

  • @waseemchiraagh2976
    @waseemchiraagh2976 5 років тому

    LOUD

  • @lazer8961
    @lazer8961 3 роки тому

    Vinaka Jope. Duatani ga na gone nei Eddie😅

  • @t.l.5755
    @t.l.5755 4 роки тому

    Domestic violence and addiction exist in every culture in the world.