So good, has me appreciating new levels of this film. When I watched it, I was left with the feeling that the way it ended wasn’t necessarily a comment on how things “should” be, but rather a very difficult moment in a monogamish couple’s exploration. Like, I was left feeling that they were entering a big phase of processing this stuff in their relationship rather than this being the inevitable conclusion of the conversation.
Yeah, much like the Before Trilogy, each film didn't feel like a direct ending but a conclusion of a chapter in an on-going conversation. I would love to see Past Lives further explored in a follow-up film and see where these characters and relationships evolve.
Yes, the skype sounds was a full body chills nostalgia rush. I never caught the bridges and windows, thank you. What's your favourite shot? Mine would be the scene at the bar the second being, reframing the wide to more and more close up shots of just Na Young and Hae Sung as though they're slip back into their own world unintentionally.
What a fascinating take! I always saw the conflict to be more practical than romantic; she needs to choose between a life in Korea or the USA, and she chose the USA, and that simply cannot be shared, the worlds are too far apart, practically. Non monogamous people often face these practical stumbling blocks, especially when kids are involved; your time becomes practically invested in the parent of your child and your child. So while you may WANT multiple partners when you have young children, it's often simply not practically possible if you want to be a good fully involved parent.
Love this video. I felt exactly all the same thing, both in terms of how the poly coded the movie and how the trio’s relationship was explored which was very beautiful but also how it retains a different kind of mononormativity. This movie was especially interesting for me cause it released in the same year as the movie Three of Us (Indian movie - I am from India) which also had a similar vibe to Past Lives but with different age group characters and a different context and similar trio dynamics in some ways but a more conservative setting so the question of choice is never on the table itself. I would highly recommend watching it and reviewing for the series. You will definitely enjoy it. But I also think there is a interesting concept that becomes available through a non/anti-amatonormative reading along with polyamorous reading which is that not all love has to be actualised into a relationship while still retaining love and I think there is a sense in which that part i appreciate about both past lives and three of us. But i agree with you that this absence of framing does point to mononormative assumptions which perhaps makes the story both beautiful sometimes but also frustrating as a poly person.
The way it ends reminds me of how Esther Perel, who is so insightful about the limits of monogamy, always stops short of enm when she gets to the discussion of any alternative solutions.
Thank you for this video! You did a great analysis and I really appreciated your vision on this film. I am polyamorous and I watched this movie as a recommendation from a girl I got in love with while I was in closed relationships. I told her that she was giving me a comforting feeling of nostalgia from my past life, like I always knew her. I really loved her but we couldn't be together. I really felt understood when she recommended me this film. It has brought me to a lot of reflections and I'm now in open relationships. But this movie has a different meaning for me now. I'm a political immigrant and I had to leave my country over 10 years ago. My home country has changed a lot and I won't and can't return there anymore. The warming feeling of nostalgia, love and grief only exists for a home that doesn't exist anymore. It is all left in the past. For me the relationships in this movie are a metaphor for culture and immigration.
i think part of the heartbreak is that their conversations about in-yun i think indicate that they would eventually let themselves break out of monogamy, all three recognise why they are important to each other, but the previous 'break up' when nora can't handle being long distance is the wall that stops them. perhaps if hae sung was staying they would have tried but he has to go back home, and with this past bad long distance experience, it would be too complicated i guess. hae sung has to leave, part of the tragedy is that they can't even try.
This movie really hits home for me - I was in an international long distance relationship with someone from my cultural/ethnic motherland, and for much of our relationship I was trying to explore polyamory (which my partner reluctantly supported). For me, this movie really spoke to the cultural connection and tension I felt in my relationship. I was baffled when I heard "I will never understand you in your mother tongue" because it was literally something I had said. In one scene, Nora says something along the lines of "he's too Korean, but he also makes me feel more korean." The cultural connection has this contradiction of simultaneously bringing you closer and highlighting how different you are. When Nora says that she and Hae Sung don't have enough in-yun, to me it meant that it wasn't enough to bridge the cultural and literal geographic distance between them.
I love Past Lives, and loved your analysis! Some of the straight monogamous movie podcasts I’ve listened to drew a lot of very annoying conclusions from this story, so it’s refreshing to hear your take. I’d love to hear your thoughts on Toy Story 4. I just rewatched it and I think there’s a compelling argument for a poly-coded reading. It’s all about Woody unlearning his compulsory mononormativity in regards to the toy-child relationship. Whatever movie you cover next, I’m excited to see!
I am poly and made the hideous mistake of agreeing to a monogamous marriage. I was young and in love and it ended very badly indeed. My only advice: Don’t go against your own nature.
I never thought about dreams in different languages... only ever dreamed in English/ thoughts/ body language/ Emotions. The Emotion language dreams are generally powerful and scary but mostly just powerful i usually wake up in sweats jumping / jerking nearly completely out of my body and bed. Its crazy. Found out that those dreams are actually foresight hopefully they are also hindsight. Cause one of them has yet to happen.
Thank you for starting this channel, I think this is so important what you do to help explain what polyamory means. I love how you also capture the visual motives of the film. The way you talk is beautiful: professional, emotionally intelligent, soothing, on point. Just subscribed, I'm here for more 😊
U made me appreciate media literacy more, this is such an exciting open way of looking at the things we consume especially when you can see aspects of yourself in it. I’m so used to be guided on what to think and feel, if what I see is truly me in the narrative and I would depend on amazing media literature like yourself to validate my vision. It’s just something I thought about. This isn’t a critic or anything just I want to say thank u for helping me find or realise something that I want to peruse more in my life😊
Please offer more content as I ran into your tiktok by dumb luck, and within 24 hours, I have viewed all of the content and need more ! I appreciate you
😢 I've read stories where monogamy was the antagonist all along. It honestly confuses me how some people accidentally create amazing non monogamous works....and then force a monogamous ending.
Respectfully, other than the first scene, I see no poly whatsoever. Was kinda disappointed too. I think even in your analysis you see the lack of basically any poly undertones. Like it's a story about complex feelings but I see it more like a lost lovers film. I hope to see more content though!
yep i agree. there was another youtuber that mentioned the film was never really about romantic love, but about saying goodbye to a part of your Identity, to that person that you could have been. it's heartbreaking, but a part of life nonetheless
Agree with most of this except the ending. The whole story can still be non monogamy and poliamory, even if they don't end up together. not every relationship works out/not every love story looks the same, sometimes adult life is crying and relationships both poly and monogamous are sometimes messy and impossible and heartbreaking. Why would you want to force a simpler happy ending?
I think it couldn't end differently because life is about not having a happy ending too. I guess, for me, it is about the grieving for the life (or lifes) we'll never have.
Not be a downer but I don't see any polyamory. Looks like two people were coming to terms with a big change in their lives from childhood and enjoying some nostalgia. Adult Nora entered into a marriage of her own free will and made a commitment. A few fleeting feeling of nostalgia are not going to override that commitment, and if they tried to, it would probably end badly.
So good, has me appreciating new levels of this film. When I watched it, I was left with the feeling that the way it ended wasn’t necessarily a comment on how things “should” be, but rather a very difficult moment in a monogamish couple’s exploration. Like, I was left feeling that they were entering a big phase of processing this stuff in their relationship rather than this being the inevitable conclusion of the conversation.
Yeah that's also one of my interpretations too
Oh I like your interpretation. It gives me hope :)
Yeah, much like the Before Trilogy, each film didn't feel like a direct ending but a conclusion of a chapter in an on-going conversation. I would love to see Past Lives further explored in a follow-up film and see where these characters and relationships evolve.
Yes, the skype sounds was a full body chills nostalgia rush. I never caught the bridges and windows, thank you. What's your favourite shot? Mine would be the scene at the bar the second being, reframing the wide to more and more close up shots of just Na Young and Hae Sung as though they're slip back into their own world unintentionally.
What a fascinating take! I always saw the conflict to be more practical than romantic; she needs to choose between a life in Korea or the USA, and she chose the USA, and that simply cannot be shared, the worlds are too far apart, practically. Non monogamous people often face these practical stumbling blocks, especially when kids are involved; your time becomes practically invested in the parent of your child and your child. So while you may WANT multiple partners when you have young children, it's often simply not practically possible if you want to be a good fully involved parent.
Love this video. I felt exactly all the same thing, both in terms of how the poly coded the movie and how the trio’s relationship was explored which was very beautiful but also how it retains a different kind of mononormativity. This movie was especially interesting for me cause it released in the same year as the movie Three of Us (Indian movie - I am from India) which also had a similar vibe to Past Lives but with different age group characters and a different context and similar trio dynamics in some ways but a more conservative setting so the question of choice is never on the table itself. I would highly recommend watching it and reviewing for the series. You will definitely enjoy it. But I also think there is a interesting concept that becomes available through a non/anti-amatonormative reading along with polyamorous reading which is that not all love has to be actualised into a relationship while still retaining love and I think there is a sense in which that part i appreciate about both past lives and three of us. But i agree with you that this absence of framing does point to mononormative assumptions which perhaps makes the story both beautiful sometimes but also frustrating as a poly person.
The way it ends reminds me of how Esther Perel, who is so insightful about the limits of monogamy, always stops short of enm when she gets to the discussion of any alternative solutions.
Thank you for this video! You did a great analysis and I really appreciated your vision on this film. I am polyamorous and I watched this movie as a recommendation from a girl I got in love with while I was in closed relationships. I told her that she was giving me a comforting feeling of nostalgia from my past life, like I always knew her. I really loved her but we couldn't be together. I really felt understood when she recommended me this film.
It has brought me to a lot of reflections and I'm now in open relationships.
But this movie has a different meaning for me now. I'm a political immigrant and I had to leave my country over 10 years ago. My home country has changed a lot and I won't and can't return there anymore. The warming feeling of nostalgia, love and grief only exists for a home that doesn't exist anymore. It is all left in the past. For me the relationships in this movie are a metaphor for culture and immigration.
i think part of the heartbreak is that their conversations about in-yun i think indicate that they would eventually let themselves break out of monogamy, all three recognise why they are important to each other, but the previous 'break up' when nora can't handle being long distance is the wall that stops them. perhaps if hae sung was staying they would have tried but he has to go back home, and with this past bad long distance experience, it would be too complicated i guess. hae sung has to leave, part of the tragedy is that they can't even try.
This movie really hits home for me - I was in an international long distance relationship with someone from my cultural/ethnic motherland, and for much of our relationship I was trying to explore polyamory (which my partner reluctantly supported). For me, this movie really spoke to the cultural connection and tension I felt in my relationship. I was baffled when I heard "I will never understand you in your mother tongue" because it was literally something I had said. In one scene, Nora says something along the lines of "he's too Korean, but he also makes me feel more korean." The cultural connection has this contradiction of simultaneously bringing you closer and highlighting how different you are. When Nora says that she and Hae Sung don't have enough in-yun, to me it meant that it wasn't enough to bridge the cultural and literal geographic distance between them.
I love Past Lives, and loved your analysis! Some of the straight monogamous movie podcasts I’ve listened to drew a lot of very annoying conclusions from this story, so it’s refreshing to hear your take.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on Toy Story 4. I just rewatched it and I think there’s a compelling argument for a poly-coded reading. It’s all about Woody unlearning his compulsory mononormativity in regards to the toy-child relationship.
Whatever movie you cover next, I’m excited to see!
I am poly and made the hideous mistake of agreeing to a monogamous marriage. I was young and in love and it ended very badly indeed. My only advice: Don’t go against your own nature.
I really enjoyed this video. I could listen to you talk for hours. Well done and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you! You summed up pretty much exactly the things that I liked about this movie and the frustration I had at the end.
I never thought about dreams in different languages... only ever dreamed in English/ thoughts/ body language/ Emotions. The Emotion language dreams are generally powerful and scary but mostly just powerful i usually wake up in sweats jumping / jerking nearly completely out of my body and bed. Its crazy. Found out that those dreams are actually foresight hopefully they are also hindsight. Cause one of them has yet to happen.
Thank you for starting this channel, I think this is so important what you do to help explain what polyamory means. I love how you also capture the visual motives of the film. The way you talk is beautiful: professional, emotionally intelligent, soothing, on point. Just subscribed, I'm here for more 😊
your tops is amazing
U made me appreciate media literacy more, this is such an exciting open way of looking at the things we consume especially when you can see aspects of yourself in it. I’m so used to be guided on what to think and feel, if what I see is truly me in the narrative and I would depend on amazing media literature like yourself to validate my vision. It’s just something I thought about. This isn’t a critic or anything just I want to say thank u for helping me find or realise something that I want to peruse more in my life😊
I really enjoyed this video, thank you for making it!
Im in tears, this is so sad.
😕
What an excellent analysis!
Great video and analysis 👏
This movie made me ugly cry so much ❤❤
Please offer more content as I ran into your tiktok by dumb luck, and within 24 hours, I have viewed all of the content and need more !
I appreciate you
😢 I've read stories where monogamy was the antagonist all along. It honestly confuses me how some people accidentally create amazing non monogamous works....and then force a monogamous ending.
Respectfully, other than the first scene, I see no poly whatsoever. Was kinda disappointed too. I think even in your analysis you see the lack of basically any poly undertones. Like it's a story about complex feelings but I see it more like a lost lovers film. I hope to see more content though!
yep i agree. there was another youtuber that mentioned the film was never really about romantic love, but about saying goodbye to a part of your Identity, to that person that you could have been. it's heartbreaking, but a part of life nonetheless
Agree with most of this except the ending. The whole story can still be non monogamy and poliamory, even if they don't end up together. not every relationship works out/not every love story looks the same, sometimes adult life is crying and relationships both poly and monogamous are sometimes messy and impossible and heartbreaking. Why would you want to force a simpler happy ending?
I think it couldn't end differently because life is about not having a happy ending too. I guess, for me, it is about the grieving for the life (or lifes) we'll never have.
Not be a downer but I don't see any polyamory. Looks like two people were coming to terms with a big change in their lives from childhood and enjoying some nostalgia. Adult Nora entered into a marriage of her own free will and made a commitment. A few fleeting feeling of nostalgia are not going to override that commitment, and if they tried to, it would probably end badly.