Emotional Maturity in Past Lives | Video Essay
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- Past Lives is a 2023 American romantic drama film written and directed by Celine Song in her feature directorial debut. Starring Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, and John Magaro, the film follows the relationship between two childhood friends over the course of 24 years, as they contemplate their relationship when they grow apart to have different lives. The plot is semi-autobiographical and inspired by real events from Song's life.
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Intro: 0:00
Opening scene: 1:56
A story about stories: 2:59
Fate: 4:35
The Immigrant Experience: 7:22
The Power of Language: 8:45
Redefining Masculinity: 10:29
Closure: 12:22
Outro: 13:18
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#pastlives #films #videoessay #analysis #review #a24 #moviereview #movies - Фільми й анімація
A major reason why this film did so well, was its simple yet multifaceted perspective of a human's life. There is nothing absurd or unrealistic about it. It is a reflection of events many of us will experience. A fictional film about love would have ended with Nora and Hae Sung getting together, but that isn't how life works.
@@profgnome7938 Bro if you're gonna criticise my opinion/comment at least include something instructive, instead of a passing comment.
In the closing scene, I can't help but think that Nora's very emotional crying strongly echos the Point (to me) that Nora "Is that same little girl" who was a "cry baby" back in Korea. Remember In the Bar scene, Nora rationalizes to Hae Sung "I'm not that little girl anymore" , Nora also cries when they decided not to "call" each other 12 years ago. I think at the end she comes to realize that she and Hae Song do have this Strong emotional bond that was forged innocently during their childhood.
It was even more beautiful because when they were young, she was comfortable enough to cry with Hae sung around and when the closure happens, she cries with Arthur depicting and opening up that side of her Arthur feared would never have access to!!
I felt her crying she showed a tiny bit of regret but closure.
Nora’s crying at the end shows that she’s letting her husband into her life in ways she hadn’t previously. During the video calls 12 years after she immigrated, she mentions that she no longer cries because she learned that no one cared. Her crying at the end with Arthur shows that she truly feels that he cares about her deeply, in a way similar to her childhood love. She allowed herself to finally feel and to grieve with Arthur.
@@alysonladerman4686yes. This was my perception too. I also thinks she’s mourning who she was, not because she wants to be that little girl again, but because she knows she will no longer be and she’s okay with it but it’s still sad.
@tockita No doubt that is part of it as well as the culture she has lost as part of that childhood. It's just a beautiful, touching scene for all these reasons.
The director did an incredible job not #girlbossing the lead into overshadowing the nuanced exploration of masculinity with the two male characters. It made them three-dimensional instead of just being two guys that she is/was involved with.
I feel like the story was a love story but where the progtagonist chose the life that better suited her goals and needs vs. the cliche thing of saying a must choose between two men. I felt like she choose herself while the other two people gave her the space to find the emotional maturity to choose what she needed. The men led with empathy vs. competitiveness which was also somewhat refreshing.
I don't think either of them would have sacrificed their lifestyle for other one. Reality is their life is very different from each other and they want different things.
@@destinychild4659true 😊
When she said to Arthur that she feels more Korean when being with Hae Sung, it means he makes her remember/recover parts of her original culture and identity that she's not been actively in contact with, and might have forgotten until then. Having emigrated myself to Europe, this particular feeling is something I am familiar with when meeting people from my original culture.
i left my country 11 years ago and i can tell you what i think she meant by saying that she feels not korean enough but even more korean when she met her childhood friend -- it happens to me when i meet friends from home i havent seen in years. its like living in the western world slowly covers my indian-ness with dust and when i see these people i am splashed with water and reminded again that i am SO indian, and that i am more like my friend, who i am sharing this small moment with, than i am like anyone i share my life with here. watching this film was like seeing into the future for me
I love that, that was so beautifully put.
your comment really resonates with me. Such a reflection of life is refreshing.
Great essay for a great movie. An underrated aspect of this movie that I don’t feel like people are talking about enough is the cinematography. So many great choices. The scene of the kids saying goodbye and walking away is an obvious brilliant shot. But I also enjoyed the more subtle shots such as when Nora is looking at herself in her bathroom mirror figuratively, as she looks at herself in the mirror literally.
I have been struggling with my love/hate relationship with this great film, and your insightful commentary here really helps. So thank you! I am also an American husband of a lady who immigrated from an asian country, so I emotionally aligned with the character of Arthur throughout this film. To say I was scared and defensive as I watched this film was an understatement. I once heard an interview with Celine (the director) in which she said that the bar scene (which we know was an actual recreation of the real scene she experienced) was a "cosmic joke", and that broke my heart. I wondered how her real-life husband felt in that context. Was he just a "cosmic joke" in her life? I actually felt bitter towards Celine, in spite of her great film. However, your words here are helping me see beyond that. You have helped me understand the nuances in masculinity, and I am now trying to see and understand this film with new eyes. To all the other "Arthurs" in this world (and I know you are many), I say please find more patience and understanding - because the lady you love is worth it!
Love this comment so much thank you for sharing
Please remember that everyone's experience is different even when two people go through similar situations and this movie is just one example of how people might feel. I have been through something very similar as Nora, moving countries at 13 and being heartbroken over never seeing my first crush again. Yet I can hardly relate with this movie's sentiment. I prefer to live in the present and to be grateful for what I have now and my past rarely crosses my mind. And it that childhood crush asked me to meet him, I would politely decline and go do something with my current boyfriend. I promise you most people try to enjoy what's now and put painful memories behind them. Talk to your wife and you might be suprised.
I think the interesting thing about this movie is that it means something very different to each person depending on your own experiences and background with romantic relationships. I can see how you feel that you relate strongly with Arthur's character and felt upset about the bar scene being based from Celine's actual life.
I think since her and her husband are both writers/creative people, they were probably able to explore this from a distance. Seeing scenes from their own lives as an opportunity for a story. There's even a scene in the movie when they're laying in bed and Arthur sets up the situation like an interesting story and they openly discuss their feelings about what's going on.
There is enough trust between Nora and Arthur that they acknowledge that they both need to grow as individuals in order to grow together. If that involves Nora getting closure by visiting her past (which is what Hae Sung's character represents), then it's worth it.
What I love about this movie is that it doesn't rely on s_x or overt lust. To me, it just felt like curiosity and her seeking familiarity. Exploring this helps move all of the characters forward, leaving their own past lives behind.
I agree with all of the other comments, especially that this movie leaves so much up to interpretation and adjustment based on your own experiences. I also felt and still feel bitter towards the director for their portrayal of Arthur's behavior. To me the ending shows a real disconnect between how men and women view relationships, and knowing next to nothing about the movie, I knew it was written and directed by a woman in that moment. I was in a long relationship, and it took situations similar to this where I repeatedly made the decision Arthur made to realize that it is not a man's job to ignore his feelings, internalize, and suck it up, but for both partners to make compromises and care deeply for the other person.
Jealousy is not inherently toxic, it is a natural part of relationships which shouldn't be ignored otherwise thoughts and feelings fester. I don't believe Arthur's actions are noble or "real masculinity", it is the worst part of toxic masculinity which requires us to push uncomfortable feelings away. Maybe this is only personal experience, and is simply a result of scars that will eventually heal, but you are not the only one who felt defensive.
unrelated to the essay, but I do find the cinematography very interesting in the movie and how a lot of it is has sweeping shots, and uses the telephoto lenses. Also what i find interesting is that they kind of deliberately have like couples in the background every time I pay attention to the background. Also the use of telephoto lens between Hae Sung and Nora makes them feel close and far at the same time which kind of lends to what theyre feeling about each other. I just thought these are like fun little things to look at
Such a great analysis! Especially the "redefining masculinity" part was spot on.
i loved the movie but didn't cry watching it but cried so much at the end of your video. beautiful analysis. i need to learn to accept and embrace all the complexities that shape my life. there is nothing to be sorry about. "no party should regret that encounter or anything that took place in their lives up to that point. all of it was meant to be."
I appreciate your delicate interpretation. Particularly, I empathize even more with you to capture that it can resonate more when it aligns with personal experiences. As someone who has experienced two migrations myself, and having similar experiences to the protagonists, I feel that the gaps filled not with words but with the silence and expressions of the actors make me fill even more with my own story. Since it's a movie that talks about closure, as someone who hasn't been able to achieve closure yet, the movie strongly resonates with me more.
Watched it tonight, im emotionally devastated
thanks for making this video:)
Thank you for this video, it was really helpful to completely understand and appreciate the movie.
Beautifully narrated. Thank you so much. you tell a story without badly spoiling the whole story in the movie. My heart was moved by the whole story you told us. I wish someone from this production can win some of the Oscars awards.
This is, by far, my favorite commentary on this beautiful film.
I really enjoyed this movie and your breakdown. Thank you.
This was a really breakdown. Thank you ❤
I really appreciates this beautiful story and learning vicariously through the characters lives.
The best explanation for this movie.
Key insights
🎥 "Past Lives is a movie that proves small creators can tell captivating stories that resonate with viewers and earn a place among the best movies."
🎭 The director's objective in the film was to give ordinary lives the weight and value of epics, highlighting the importance of storytelling in portraying the lives of everyday people.
🎥 This movie deliberately subverts the notion of what makes a beautiful epic story or even simply just a story.
🌌 Destiny plays a significant role in the lives of the characters, shaping their identities and relationships.
🌍 Nora's experience as an immigrant adds another layer to her character and brings about an ambiguous sense of identity.
💭 Language can create boundaries between people, highlighting the importance of understanding and embracing different languages and cultures.
😌 The film highlights the strength of understanding and accepting the ways destiny can shape our lives, emphasizing emotional maturity.
🎥 The movie's structure allows viewers to gain an understanding of the role of destiny and the importance of closure in resolving conflicts.
Thank you for this
Really good video. I just finished watching it and it struck so many chords for me, right from the very first scene. I really liked at the end when he kids say goodbye to each other it is nighttime. Whereas it was day time when they first said it. Maybe that indicates total closure. But you hit the nail on its head when you said what you project onto it based on your life experience. Perfectly summed up. Now I need to go and watch Aftersun! :)
Excellent point, I missed that nuance between goodbyes during day and night.
I went and watched the film after watching just the first part of your video and really enjoyed it. I want to watch more films with this pacing, slower but not boring (?). Scenes had a real feeling to them, a mood, I liked that.
I watched “In the Mood for Love” right afterwards… I think Past Lives was influenced by that flick
Same here!
I been waiting to see a movie like this for an adulthood. I'm korean born that moved to US when I was 6. What every movie that touch on asian experience is that America (and the west) sees asian males and asian females differently. The clear example is how the west sexualize asian women, while emasculate asian men. Asian women being submissive, innocent, cute, feminine. While asian men are foreign, a sexual, followers not leaders, invisible part of society. This is partly why there are many more white husband/asian women marriages as apposed to asian men/ white women marriages. This acceptance of asian women and not men in western society is subtle and subconscious, most won't see it. Also white males have the assumption (proven correct in most cases) they can date any single asian female. Meanwhile asian men that grew up in the US assume they need to compensate for being asian (perhaps with fashion, money, charisma). I have met few asian women that are not willing to date white men or hold strong preference for asian men.
So I don't know of another movie like this where an asian man is the protagonist in a romance movie while a white man is the antagonist. I don't think it's a victory of asian male representation, I think there is a trend in Hollywood now to let aisan men be sexy. But this movie seem to subvert expectation.
To me instead this movie shows the opposite of closure. The protagonist shows emotional detachment: she gives up on her feelings (about her home, the past, her dreams) and she also chooses a relationship that is mostly transactional. There’s no closure because there is no openly confronting her feelings, positive or negative. Yes, she cries at the end, but it isn’t a crying t brings action, it’s a resigned crying, that leads to her sinking further into the dullness of her life.
A real closure would have been to be alone at the end of the movie, alone and free, for the first time, to really make choices that are only hers and that are real choices, instead of a sort of being swept away (by her parents, by meeting a guy who is attracted to her and single at a summer retreat, by her past friend and love).
I would have it end with her in a third location, even - as someone who has moved and lived abroad all her adult life.
Again, to me it’s all very depressing.
But...why is Nora writing "2012" on her wall in Montauk?
Because that's when it was. This is the last scene of the 2nd, before the final jump to 2023. She meets Arthur here, and they marry about 5 years later, since Haesung later tells his friends that she married Arthur "about 7 years ago."
Als honkvaste witte man in Nederland, weet ik weinig tot niets van emigreren. Het verbaasd me steeds opnieuw, dat over Nora, zo grandioos, Oscar-waardig gespeeld door Greta Lee, steeds opnieuw geschreven wordt zo sterk in die context. Maar ik geloof eenieder op zijn of haar woord wat dat betreft, en het is duidelijk dat zoveel kijkers zo met Nora meeleven, mijzelf inclusief, dat ze bijna een echt bestaand persoon is geworden. Zeker voor iemand die de film 37 keer heeft gezien. Het script, de regie, het camerawerk, de montage, de muziek (score zowel als gekozen liedjes), het acteren. Alles is steengoed! Dat er straks geen Oscars gewonnen gaan worden, heeft met Hollywood te maken. Daar waar de boekhouders doorslaggevend zijn, en niet cinema.
i regret it a lot seeing this movie after watching the trailer. goin in blind probably was best. watching the trailer we arleady know to expect the tipical white bf is not evil. this isnt just ur normal love story. still theres a lot of very beautifully written lines here
Enough waxing poetic about Wandy. The guys cash added will be better than him + their younger & cheaper.
Wandy was declining anyway. Nice guy and over performed his expectations with us
She said she will be back after a year to him, refusing to continue the online connection cause she wants to achieve something.
goes into some isolated cOnTenT cReAtoR cAbIn, married a man who she one night stand.
Emotional maturity? Or the current status of so called "romance" nowadays?
Anyways, they are old enough to tell someone what they really wanted to say or feel, such a bullsht mindset for both people, nonetheless good plot.
Yeah, those are good points. I do think that the characters' decisions are quite realistic though, the reality is that you're more likely to bond with someone you are physically in contact with rather than someone you're in a long distance relationship with. Convenience is too major a factor.
If you want a truly infuriating depiction of a relationship, watch the series Normal People.
@@therealcjc true tho, physical contact is much better, but if you really want that person, and you feel that the feeling is mutual or you somewhat feel she really wants you, which in movie was showed, you will really do everything to meet them or to be with them tbh.
@@humanxoxo4 well, they did try in the middle of the movie to overcome the physical barriers. They specifically discussed it during a call. But Hae Sung wanted to go to China (in a sense out of obligation to his family), and Nora wanted to stay in America (as she has grown accustomed there), and neither of them were willing to compromise for the sake of their relationship which did not ever officially extend beyond friendship. I would say that was the true point at which the ship truly sailed.
How do we know it was just one night with Arthur. I assume they dated for some time. Movie just didn't show all of that.
This movie might be lost in translation but it’s very overrated. The story is very flat, it’s a love story but she’s not into him at all, it’s just him. Then it turns into a bizarre love triangle except, she doesn’t care, the husband says it’s ok to see this other guy and the guy is still in love. It just doesn’t lead anywhere, why should we care? Also the casting of the lady was a mistake. She can’t act while not being able to speak Korean well and she just comes off as cold.
Finally..smeone said it..yes pls! Everything u said was so spot on..honestly i am on a loop watching Oscar nominees 4 best pic nd watched this yesterday..
Rlly wasn't much impressed with this movie nd reading others comment calling it a masterpiece confuses me further..dunt get whts so special abt it..if anything the woman made the mst expected nd practical decision to stay with her husband , y everyone is appreciating her 4 doing the mst normal nd basic thing??