This makes a lot of sense. After a period of Illness I had to sit and do nothing for a long time, I’ve felt bad about this as I felt I was wasting time and other people seemed to use this time to set up businesses or write books. This made me feel like I was being unproductive but in fact I was dedicating time to healing and accepting things and living in the moment ❤
It still feels pretty horrifying to have that constant sense of the walls closing in as your limited and now no longer being replenished savings continue to dwindle as you're paralyzed and unable to muster any organized and self-directed effort. I worry that the stresses and mood impact of falling to mush and needing dedicated recovery time might negate a good chunk of the recovery benefits, lengthening the recovery time.
3rd year on Lyme disease and losing my dream career I’m just starting to shift my mindset. I no longer care about what could have been , the career opportunities missed, the status, respect from colleagues, the dream home and vacations and fun times with friends. I see my wife and kids smile and realize I have everything.
Bullies are attracted to people that are insecure, and react in a negative way when bullied. When it comes to my experience, I think I got bullied a lot as a kid, because I had a lot of insecurities/pent up emotions that derived from the negligence of my father. He was always home, but never "there". By the time of the last year of high-school, I had gotten to a point where I didn't care that much if someone was making fun of me. To the point where i was in relativeley good terms with the bully that used to bully me.
@@DihelsonMendonca be careful not to mistake the way people treat you with a false belief of yourself. I used to think that because people treated me a certain way, that somewhere deep down I must think this way about myself, even though I was secure in myself. I ripped myself apart just to find that the way people treated me had nothing to do with my self concept, just lessons on how to navigate those people.
@@labab1048 It's an exercise, and like most exercises practice improves performance. When you notice you've drifted, acknowledge it and bring yourself back. If you're having trouble see if you can notice what is impeding you. I think practicing gratitude helps.
@tom4prez1 constant mental distress will cause low energy, gut issues and chronic pain. Fairly sure this has something to do with sleep, healing and inflammation.
Best thing I ever did was get so depressed that all i could do is sit on my patio and stare into the distance. After months of doing this, my internal zoo finally started to clear, and I was like… wtf. The key is sitting and doing nothing; but you’re not doing nothing, you are clearing years and years of internal shite. It just disperses up into the sky. I feel like a different person now, and i swear it’s from just sitting and staring outward while my mind ran out of steam (and eventually, you realize, holy crap.., this is awareness. I’m aware now).
I thought it was only me when I told my therapist, I alway see my 6 year old self holding onto to my leg or hiding behind me, wanting me to protect her because no one else did.
@@annmichellesalasAnd that's the sad reality for some of us. We needed protection and for one reason or another, the people who were supposed to protect us, make us feel safe, and address our needs, made us feel unsecured, insecure, and finding solutions a toddler could to survive. It's truly saddening because it shouldn't have to be this way. Kids need love, protection, and encouragement. You should've gotten that! We should've gotten a parent who loves & cares for us at the time we needed them most. A bulwark to protect us from life's grandiosity.
I’m so glad to hear that doing nothing is healing! At present I am in such a phase and I have been bothered by feelings of guilt for wasting time - but more so I feel like I need to just do nothing while I “get over” the most recent episode of work place bullying and decide what to do next.
Yeah kind of seems impossible to fix those blocks, to fix the stem once it's been damaged....you cant literally go back in time. Seems like once you've been seriously broken in childhood you're gonna be effed for the rest of life
Agreed but you have to now examine each one until you get to the center. You eventually get good at it and you continue this process quicker. It really depends on how quick you want to recover; as well as, how quick your inner child wants to be willing to share. It can be painful so its akin to handling open wounds so you have to be patient with yourself. I'd encourage a professional (non-relative) to help you navigate these emotions. Eventually, that part of you that gets willing to share the most sensitive parts of you that may *seem* insignificant but means a lot. Your responsibility is to honor those emotions and allow that part of you to Express itself in a socially acceptable form like venting via recording, video, journaling, dairy, etc. After you do that a couple times, the inner child can be in healing. Imo After, you might experience something of a calm & clearing. Don't be alarmed, you will have to rebuild; which is a great opportunity. You get to rediscover yourself and so you live with new tools and a new beginning. These are essentially the new "building blocks" you'll have to now build. You won't be so reactive. I'll say, at this point, be careful who you hang around but now be intentional with the company you keep. You won't really be the same so the company who knew you won't really be comfortable. Imo.
How? Good questions. That's it. Ask yourself good questions and processing your emotions. You start at the surface and then you dig deeper with time. Sorry, near the pivotal point, you will come to the reality of those harmful feelings and process them enough on your end and to be honest with the needs you were denied at that much needed time. You might have to replace those jagged pieces. You might have to admit your primary caretakers were insufficient, all those things according to your life. Therapists are good at helping you with those failed interjects as throughout the process of a good therapist, they will act essentially as the parent you always needed enough that you will grow up, leave the nest, and finish up with your therapy. Therapy isn't meant to be forever. Even after the key notes, the rest can be maintenance but ultimately, it's supposed to equip you to clear out the bad roots and build a new foundation with much more solid and less reactive autonomy. Afterwards, you will move and parent yourself moving forward. All opinion based on what I've learned. I encourage you to talk to a therapist. I'm just giving you an expectation.
Perception and beliefs is everything. If that's what you believe you will be fighting for those beliefs. Change your beliefs and they no longer have to have power over you.
Gosh, I've been spending the morning reading about how to begin getting my life back together after a depressive episode. This video came up on my feed and I really needed this right now. Thank you.🙏
Dr K is amazing in articulating, questioning and turning around the respondent’s answer and showing his passion. He not only brings the science but also yogi/alternatives experience. 🙏🏻❤️
Wonderful and on-point analysis. Dr. K is a rather rare example of the intersaction point of modern psychological disciplines and authentic - mystic traditions; which have been essentially serving the same goal from different points of view all along.
Are you comfortable with discomfort? Are you okay with sitting in a space with someone where things are genuinely awkward or tense? How many times have you reached out to a friend or loved one to advocate for how you'd like to be treated better directly to them/told them about things they have done that made you feel mistreated?
I’m 54 years old and just stumbled into awareness as I’m trying to become more self-aware and a better human in this resonates deeply as I’ve experienced more freedom with just becoming aware than outlining and watching podcast and trying to come over solutions with just becoming aware and having acceptance becoming radically Honest with myself
Very lucrative, too, I'd imagine. Quite a lot of useful energy could be released to people's conscious control if the more fundamental causes of this package of mental illnesses were dealt with on a cultural level.
This is quite the stuff I've been searching answers for.. Thank you Steven, Dr K & The DOAC team for making it happen, you guys all rock!! Love all of y'all 🙏🏿
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
This is one of the classic misunderstanding. You need to be aware of every fucking frame of your existence. Not one and done, "oh I know that" bullshit.
If you can grab control of your morning and spend some time specifically doing nothing, then you'll avoid overstimulating your brain. This also gives a chance for your consciousness to boot up slowly. After a few days of this (and good meals, sleep hygiene, and physical hygiene, some positive interactions with others and community investment activities), then you just might be able to recruit more of yourself that you can direct towards larger and larger tasks. Having someone to interact with on a regular basis for accountability and regular reminders can be super helpful. I don't have all the answers, but this has been a functioning way for me to get the ball rolling before. Withholding my own mind and will such that it is less likely to become scattered among the various unimportant distractions in the world around me is sometimes very warranted.
I'm finally coming back on track, been in a rut for quite a while, thanks to these videos and advices I am starting to come back to my real self, deleted all the video games from my computer, threw all the tobacco and alcohol from the house, thank you sooo much, I am coming back, thank you, thank you, I start to feel alive again, stay blessed everyone, never give up!!!
This is exactly why I'll be helping people connect with that child within....and give it what it needs to heal and be strong. That's the only way this inner young self will relax and start dissolving....allowing us to move forward and grow up as healthy adults.
Watched in full 🔥🔥 I echo Dr.K. when he said, "Steven, you ARE enough" and that Steven should take time to "just be". Even i learnt to just be from previous DOAC guests. I hope Steven will try to "just sit for 20 mins and just be". Daylight before screen light really brings an ease to start your day...and mine! 🙌
Dr K is amazing. I totally get where he's coming from. I've taken a number of silent retreats where you are taught (by teachers - the only ones who speak) to meditate and develop awareness. I often doomscroll to disengage when I'm triggered by issues arising from childhood trauma. To break the cycle, I make myself aware, I observe what I am doing - listen, see, sense everything in my environment. And then it's like an oil tanker slowing down and coming to rest. The monk Thich nhat han said it's like letting a glass of orange juice with bits in settle (paraphrasing! 😊)
How to heal trauma 1) Security (Neuroplasticity) 2) Emotional Awareness and Emotional Regulation: After awareness, Beliefs about yourself matter 3) Identity: Awareness is self-control. Awareness is willpower. Identity can't be changed without emotions
Wow he was getting into your guts Steven. I love this interview. It’s the kind of work I do also in a different way. But one thing I’d add is the person working on themselves has to be willing to hear hard things AND trust the person guiding them enough to value their insights and guidance. If the person guiding them isn’t valued or trusted by the client then nothing heals. This guy may be someone you’d take to heart, but would you feel the same if someone that could do just as much or even better then him, that isn’t a doctor or famous? That’s where people may be cutting themselves off to getting the help they need most.
I've been in the field for over 20 yrs but certainly have seen many therapists pander to their clients instead of calling them out on their personal destructive behaviors, actions and thought processes.
Yes ma'am but I do believe that they must be equipped and have proper guidelines. Otherwise, they're doing more harm than good longterm. I've tried to do this and found that people who needed this had gotten to a point outside of my depth and they depend on you to help them; as you've gotten them so far. You can't bail otherwise, they'd be worse off than before. Only issue Dr. K. had was committing to a guy where their boundaries were unclear. Unfortunately, the guy had came to their own conclusion and took their life. I don't think it is Dr. K's fault, yet I think he is dedicated to helping people and sometimes, that desire to help can take you to unintended places beyond your... responsibility; or beyond your capable accountability? Thing is, Dr. K IS a professional. He was capable of dedicating his time to the guy professionally but he was communicating to the guy publicly; which made the manner complicated. Even moreso, the guy may have _only_ approached Dr. K. this way vs privately. I think he had good intentions interacting with the guy. It just turned out worst than expected. Point is, education is very important here and dedication is just as important. Proper involvement of these elements with a "client" has to be established longterm so that the boundaries of therapist & client are guidelined so that there is good routine and expectation in said relationship. Even if you are well-meaning, you might not be equipped to handle if the person is reacting or their experiencing a strange phenomenon after their healing. They need someone every step of the way and a layperson could actually make that worse if they bail; or fail to meet them at a crucial point in their process.
Dear Doctor K, You said it in Perfection. Old Wisdom and new science teaching comes together and here is the boat to sail towards light. I love you and wishing all the best for you.
I know that many people take a lifetime to figure these things out. I learned some of this as a teen in the late 80's and 90's. This is very important. I hope that many more people watch this video and take it very seriously. Thank you.
The great thing about this Dr K dude is he’s giving awareness while he’s talking about it 💡It is simple. Doing it and being it takes A LOT of work. Sustained effort.
Dr. K is genius, we all have 24h a day, and most people work double the time than others and make 10000x less, it's on the inside whats happening, cut the distractions, focus on inner work.
I'm learning now who I really am! And telling myself when that child comes out, this is not me!! You are better than what he made you think you are! It's dawning on me but it's been 6months now😩it takes time!
My colleague at work was harassed in the middle east by a taxi driver literally because she was too nice and predators could feel it. Me having that angry girl inside all these years made a huge mess just because the driver took a longer route and cost me more. That crazy girl was made in childhood due to trauma and she is my biggest protector against the crazy world, nothing to change about it 😅 crazy and normal are coexisting perfectly. 😊
dr k is always awesome. 😊 and it is so important for us all to focus on our old problems and solve them instead of pushibg them away and always running again into the same problems 😊
If an ordinary guy confronted and told you about it, you would not take him serious. Popularity somehow draws one’s attention to actually think about what is said
@@evan3087 he did not simply gave a blank statement , he did explain why to do so , popularity is not the only factor here , infact people watching him first time via this clip might also find it very useful
@@rggrrggr290 who said he gave a blank statement? lol. They would find it useful when he is pitched on a platform which is already established. Understood Mr. genius? Why don’t you go and tell the same thing he says to different strangers and see how they react. Maybe you can do that field work and get back here
Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before
this vid was so F*****g helpful. I'm gobsmacked. And I thought I was reasonably aware of what's going on in my mind. I'm seeing a bit of a different picture now. I just couldn't work out why I'm so driven to always, and I mean ALWAYS be doing something. Accomplishing something. Even though I know that the satisfaction from that accomplishment is going to be short lived.
He is just really great in explaining the real deep issue underneath .. the complexity of it.. +he is a down to earth doc...+funny love him !!! he is a real pro + very intuitive and so damn true what he explains
I have been looping for a while now. It’s due to the abandonment I experienced as a kid. The pain was too much and my achieving and addiction was to not feel it. Now it’s coming up…it sucks but it’s the only way to heal. 😢
My favourite line in the whole of universe which resonated with me even as a kid was the famous line written by W.H.Davies titled Leisure " what is this life if, full of care , we have no time to stand and stare "❤
Awareness itself/meditation can also be a form of escape. There is no clear answer to everyones problem. Somebody might need action, somebody else more self awareness. Be a light unto yourself.
Triggers are step one. We all have them. But some of us have a minefield of them. Depending on how traumatized we are. Some of them are explosive, connected with anger. Others make you shrink, in sorrow or shame. A good start is sorting out or greyrocking people that trigger us and concentrate on the people with whom we have good communication. We must be aware of manipulative people. When we are triggered, it's helpful to think: am I oversensitive or is this person actually manipulating me? Manipulative people are masters at discovering triggers. I wonder how they work.
In his book "Heal the Shame that Binds You" John Bradshaw pioneered the concept of the inner child. In the 1980s I read that book. It was painful to read, but I did all of the suggested exercises. It helped me enormously to get past the trauma resulting from my childhood trauma of an abusive father.
The solution is to learn a new emotion, ie. Anger to gratitude for the lesson the antagonist caused in you. Become a different person, by using metacognition/awareness of thoughts, then you have choice to chose what you want to be/do/feel / create.
It is at this pinnacle of video & time taht had me further identified myself, and to move forward, with my sis help in career movement and whoever that picked up this length of the video: KUDOS TO U, i have further opened and aware of myself. so i know why and who i am; which is an important step toward understanding my emotional responses
One wonderful man labeled the underlying identity belief core root as “I’m not good enough”. (That’s one core root identity belief, there are others). But coming to realize that the identity is submerged in a victim mentality and what that means is big, imo. A work in progress bcuz to finally realize one is Not the identity, and the identity holds on by screaming Im Real, I matter, I’m scared, and then to stop and be with it, not deny, not fix, not soothe, but to realize it’s all belief on top of belief….. and the harder part is allowing the fear. Being willing to observe and feel the freaking fears, cry the tears. Just breathing deeply feels like an affront to the trauma! False Evidence Appearing Real. Easier said!
📺 Watch the full episode here
ua-cam.com/video/P1ALkQMfkjc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
This makes a lot of sense. After a period of Illness I had to sit and do nothing for a long time, I’ve felt bad about this as I felt I was wasting time and other people seemed to use this time to set up businesses or write books. This made me feel like I was being unproductive but in fact I was dedicating time to healing and accepting things and living in the moment ❤
Plus a serious dose of humility and perhaps if you never went through that illness and all that self-reflection you wouldn't have any. Congrats 👏
What a wonderful realisation ❤
It still feels pretty horrifying to have that constant sense of the walls closing in as your limited and now no longer being replenished savings continue to dwindle as you're paralyzed and unable to muster any organized and self-directed effort. I worry that the stresses and mood impact of falling to mush and needing dedicated recovery time might negate a good chunk of the recovery benefits, lengthening the recovery time.
3rd year on Lyme disease and losing my dream career I’m just starting to shift my mindset. I no longer care about what could have been , the career opportunities missed, the status, respect from colleagues, the dream home and vacations and fun times with friends. I see my wife and kids smile and realize I have everything.
Yeah.. I have an autoimmune disease, and it has severely limited my ability to do the things I used too and I feel less than because of that..
"If you believe you're a loser, the emphatic circuits of other people will treat you like a loser" - This is outstanding true. 🎉❤❤❤
So bullies really do cause lifelong harm to others.
Bullies are attracted to people that are insecure, and react in a negative way when bullied.
When it comes to my experience, I think I got bullied a lot as a kid, because I had a lot of insecurities/pent up emotions that derived from the negligence of my father. He was always home, but never "there".
By the time of the last year of high-school, I had gotten to a point where I didn't care that much if someone was making fun of me. To the point where i was in relativeley good terms with the bully that used to bully me.
💯 💶 💯
@@DihelsonMendonca be careful not to mistake the way people treat you with a false belief of yourself. I used to think that because people treated me a certain way, that somewhere deep down I must think this way about myself, even though I was secure in myself. I ripped myself apart just to find that the way people treated me had nothing to do with my self concept, just lessons on how to navigate those people.
Being passionate and having that crazy light in his eyes when he talks about his purpose is one of the Dr K's coolest traits!
I too noticed that look, and that wide-eyed passion. Some would say he's a sentimental guy, also.
@fakenews8295 a true "INTP" 😁😄
Awareness is key. It turned my life around. Awareness and reflection cured lifelong chronic pain and medical issues. I feel like a Phoenix Rising!
Do you have any advice to stay in awareness longer?
I think you missing some info or steps. I get your agreeing with Dr.K but chronic pain? Could you elaborate on that or at least some perspective.
@@labab1048 It's an exercise, and like most exercises practice improves performance. When you notice you've drifted, acknowledge it and bring yourself back. If you're having trouble see if you can notice what is impeding you. I think practicing gratitude helps.
@@thejuanderfulgratitude is very powerful. Perspective is second.
@tom4prez1 constant mental distress will cause low energy, gut issues and chronic pain. Fairly sure this has something to do with sleep, healing and inflammation.
Best thing I ever did was get so depressed that all i could do is sit on my patio and stare into the distance. After months of doing this, my internal zoo finally started to clear, and I was like… wtf. The key is sitting and doing nothing; but you’re not doing nothing, you are clearing years and years of internal shite. It just disperses up into the sky. I feel like a different person now, and i swear it’s from just sitting and staring outward while my mind ran out of steam (and eventually, you realize, holy crap.., this is awareness. I’m aware now).
I experienced a similar thing. Just sitting and being with thoughts starts as torture but ends with peace... it frees the pain.
Wow! 😊
I think I'm going to try this (not try)...!
Me too!@@sharonmckerchar9471
Hey same here, the pandemic lockdown cured my depression… now I know why!
I could watch this guy all day. Information=good. Information+humor=gold.
“When did you start your first company?”
“In the womb actually. I experienced a lot of push back from me mum.”
I love Dr Ks energy when giving such deep insights to his audience. This stuff speaks to me right now.
I thought it was only me when I told my therapist, I alway see my 6 year old self holding onto to my leg or hiding behind me, wanting me to protect her because no one else did.
@@annmichellesalasAnd that's the sad reality for some of us. We needed protection and for one reason or another, the people who were supposed to protect us, make us feel safe, and address our needs, made us feel unsecured, insecure, and finding solutions a toddler could to survive.
It's truly saddening because it shouldn't have to be this way. Kids need love, protection, and encouragement.
You should've gotten that! We should've gotten a parent who loves & cares for us at the time we needed them most. A bulwark to protect us from life's grandiosity.
I can have hundreds of therapy hours and never get so much insight. Thank you so much.
I’m so glad to hear that doing nothing is healing! At present I am in such a phase and I have been bothered by feelings of guilt for wasting time - but more so I feel like I need to just do nothing while I “get over” the most recent episode of work place bullying and decide what to do next.
It is hard to get rid of trauma (ptsd and cptsd) because they are the crooked building blocks you have built your entire life on.
Yeah kind of seems impossible to fix those blocks, to fix the stem once it's been damaged....you cant literally go back in time. Seems like once you've been seriously broken in childhood you're gonna be effed for the rest of life
@@Freecoke6 there is always time to pivot as long as you are alive though is the good thing. Barring any physical or mental limitations at least
Agreed but you have to now examine each one until you get to the center. You eventually get good at it and you continue this process quicker.
It really depends on how quick you want to recover; as well as, how quick your inner child wants to be willing to share. It can be painful so its akin to handling open wounds so you have to be patient with yourself. I'd encourage a professional (non-relative) to help you navigate these emotions.
Eventually, that part of you that gets willing to share the most sensitive parts of you that may *seem* insignificant but means a lot.
Your responsibility is to honor those emotions and allow that part of you to Express itself in a socially acceptable form like venting via recording, video, journaling, dairy, etc. After you do that a couple times, the inner child can be in healing. Imo
After, you might experience something of a calm & clearing. Don't be alarmed, you will have to rebuild; which is a great opportunity.
You get to rediscover yourself and so you live with new tools and a new beginning.
These are essentially the new "building blocks" you'll have to now build. You won't be so reactive.
I'll say, at this point, be careful who you hang around but now be intentional with the company you keep. You won't really be the same so the company who knew you won't really be comfortable. Imo.
How? Good questions. That's it. Ask yourself good questions and processing your emotions. You start at the surface and then you dig deeper with time.
Sorry, near the pivotal point, you will come to the reality of those harmful feelings and process them enough on your end and to be honest with the needs you were denied at that much needed time. You might have to replace those jagged pieces. You might have to admit your primary caretakers were insufficient, all those things according to your life.
Therapists are good at helping you with those failed interjects as throughout the process of a good therapist, they will act essentially as the parent you always needed enough that you will grow up, leave the nest, and finish up with your therapy.
Therapy isn't meant to be forever. Even after the key notes, the rest can be maintenance but ultimately, it's supposed to equip you to clear out the bad roots and build a new foundation with much more solid and less reactive autonomy.
Afterwards, you will move and parent yourself moving forward.
All opinion based on what I've learned. I encourage you to talk to a therapist. I'm just giving you an expectation.
Perception and beliefs is everything. If that's what you believe you will be fighting for those beliefs. Change your beliefs and they no longer have to have power over you.
Gosh, I've been spending the morning reading about how to begin getting my life back together after a depressive episode. This video came up on my feed and I really needed this right now. Thank you.🙏
Watch the whole interview! It's excellent
Dr K is brilliant next level. What a great guy
It gets going after 13 minutes of to-and-fro
at about 13:55
He touches
at the ant cingulate crtx
Dr K is amazing in articulating, questioning and turning around the respondent’s answer and showing his passion. He not only brings the science but also yogi/alternatives experience. 🙏🏻❤️
Wonderful and on-point analysis. Dr. K is a rather rare example of the intersaction point of modern psychological disciplines and authentic - mystic traditions; which have been essentially serving the same goal from different points of view all along.
You have to accept yourself where your at, gently guiding the awareness for change with step by step plan. No pain no gain.
Boy oh boy. This guy is really good. Clear as a bell. And funny. Really great. Thank you.
This is the message I've been looking for my entire life. I appreciate the way in which he delivers it too. I am so grateful 🙏
I adapted by being a people pleaser…until it wears me out
❤ so did I.....I did not realise how much that was totally embedded into my body and mind until recently ❤
Loneliness 😮
During covid I missed talking to people.
Isolation is difficult without human connections 😊
Are you comfortable with discomfort? Are you okay with sitting in a space with someone where things are genuinely awkward or tense? How many times have you reached out to a friend or loved one to advocate for how you'd like to be treated better directly to them/told them about things they have done that made you feel mistreated?
Agreed. You need your tank filled too...
I’m 54 years old and just stumbled into awareness as I’m trying to become more self-aware and a better human in this resonates deeply as I’ve experienced more freedom with just becoming aware than outlining and watching podcast and trying to come over solutions with just becoming aware and having acceptance becoming radically Honest with myself
I love working with CPTSD clients!!! One of the most beautiful healing and integration for the self ❤
Very lucrative, too, I'd imagine.
Quite a lot of useful energy could be released to people's conscious control if the more fundamental causes of this package of mental illnesses were dealt with on a cultural level.
Spot on, stillness, presence, self awareness is the key, the open door, the lift that we fly on. It is all!
He makes so much sense. Will now go and watch the full episode. Thanks
Alot of us take our own time for granted, when we can do so much with it internally and externally emotionally and mentally
this
Your vulnerability and honesty is so attractive!!
This is quite the stuff I've been searching answers for.. Thank you Steven, Dr K & The DOAC team for making it happen, you guys all rock!! Love all of y'all 🙏🏿
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Absolutely love this one. Dr K is so sharp and hugely beneficial
I can be completely aware that I'm stuck in a loop of wasting time while it's happening. I need willpower to break out of that.
Then you got out of it at the moment but you still are not aware of what drives you to that time wasting
This is one of the classic misunderstanding. You need to be aware of every fucking frame of your existence. Not one and done, "oh I know that" bullshit.
If you can grab control of your morning and spend some time specifically doing nothing, then you'll avoid overstimulating your brain. This also gives a chance for your consciousness to boot up slowly. After a few days of this (and good meals, sleep hygiene, and physical hygiene, some positive interactions with others and community investment activities), then you just might be able to recruit more of yourself that you can direct towards larger and larger tasks.
Having someone to interact with on a regular basis for accountability and regular reminders can be super helpful.
I don't have all the answers, but this has been a functioning way for me to get the ball rolling before. Withholding my own mind and will such that it is less likely to become scattered among the various unimportant distractions in the world around me is sometimes very warranted.
I'm finally coming back on track, been in a rut for quite a while, thanks to these videos and advices I am starting to come back to my real self, deleted all the video games from my computer, threw all the tobacco and alcohol from the house, thank you sooo much, I am coming back, thank you, thank you, I start to feel alive again, stay blessed everyone, never give up!!!
This is exactly why I'll be helping people connect with that child within....and give it what it needs to heal and be strong. That's the only way this inner young self will relax and start dissolving....allowing us to move forward and grow up as healthy adults.
Watched in full 🔥🔥
I echo Dr.K. when he said, "Steven, you ARE enough" and that Steven should take time to "just be". Even i learnt to just be from previous DOAC guests. I hope Steven will try to "just sit for 20 mins and just be". Daylight before screen light really brings an ease to start your day...and mine! 🙌
Dr K is amazing. I totally get where he's coming from.
I've taken a number of silent retreats where you are taught (by teachers - the only ones who speak) to meditate and develop awareness.
I often doomscroll to disengage when I'm triggered by issues arising from childhood trauma. To break the cycle, I make myself aware, I observe what I am doing - listen, see, sense everything in my environment. And then it's like an oil tanker slowing down and coming to rest.
The monk Thich nhat han said it's like letting a glass of orange juice with bits in settle (paraphrasing! 😊)
"If we feed our mind, it will grow. We need to let it run out of steam." - That made sense to me.
How to heal trauma
1) Security (Neuroplasticity)
2) Emotional Awareness and Emotional Regulation: After awareness, Beliefs about yourself matter
3) Identity: Awareness is self-control. Awareness is willpower. Identity can't be changed without emotions
Wow he was getting into your guts Steven. I love this interview. It’s the kind of work I do also in a different way. But one thing I’d add is the person working on themselves has to be willing to hear hard things AND trust the person guiding them enough to value their insights and guidance. If the person guiding them isn’t valued or trusted by the client then nothing heals. This guy may be someone you’d take to heart, but would you feel the same if someone that could do just as much or even better then him, that isn’t a doctor or famous? That’s where people may be cutting themselves off to getting the help they need most.
I've been in the field for over 20 yrs but certainly have seen many therapists pander to their clients instead of calling them out on their personal destructive behaviors, actions and thought processes.
@@cindyeyler Steve invited him, though. They have chemistry and trust. Great interview. Amazing guys.
@@cindyeyler Being an overachiever is not an embarrasing call out. That's why it worked.
@@charlottenilsson3820 I didn’t mean it that way. And nothing is embarrassing about this. I was saying he was getting to the core. That’s a good thing
Yes ma'am but I do believe that they must be equipped and have proper guidelines.
Otherwise, they're doing more harm than good longterm.
I've tried to do this and found that people who needed this had gotten to a point outside of my depth and they depend on you to help them; as you've gotten them so far.
You can't bail otherwise, they'd be worse off than before.
Only issue Dr. K. had was committing to a guy where their boundaries were unclear. Unfortunately, the guy had came to their own conclusion and took their life.
I don't think it is Dr. K's fault, yet I think he is dedicated to helping people and sometimes, that desire to help can take you to unintended places beyond your... responsibility; or beyond your capable accountability?
Thing is, Dr. K IS a professional. He was capable of dedicating his time to the guy professionally but he was communicating to the guy publicly; which made the manner complicated.
Even moreso, the guy may have _only_ approached Dr. K. this way vs privately. I think he had good intentions interacting with the guy. It just turned out worst than expected.
Point is, education is very important here and dedication is just as important.
Proper involvement of these elements with a "client" has to be established longterm so that the boundaries of therapist & client are guidelined so that there is good routine and expectation in said relationship.
Even if you are well-meaning, you might not be equipped to handle if the person is reacting or their experiencing a strange phenomenon after their healing.
They need someone every step of the way and a layperson could actually make that worse if they bail; or fail to meet them at a crucial point in their process.
Dear Doctor K, You said it in Perfection. Old Wisdom and new science teaching comes together and here is the boat to sail towards light. I love you and wishing all the best for you.
This is SPOT ON 🎯 I am a living demonstration of what can happen when someone courageously walks the trauma healing journey.
I know that many people take a lifetime to figure these things out. I learned some of this as a teen in the late 80's and 90's. This is very important. I hope that many more people watch this video and take it very seriously. Thank you.
Thank you immensely for this. I feel so grateful for this discussion popping into my life.
Dr K is such a valuable voice in this space. Making a real difference.
This is like the psychological/scientific definition of what spiritualism
calls, the inner child. Such important information.
9:56 🤣This was so unexpected, it cracked me up
As usual, a BRILLIANT podcast 👏🏽
Keep them up👍🏽👌🏽
Greetings from Indonesia 🇮🇩🥂
2:23 Well, as far as this channel is concerned, you’re helping people. That’s a good enough reason.
3:30 my favorite quote from this
This is so brutal!
Brutal honesty of his observation
The solution is right there, & it really is that simple.
Thank you so much for this conversation.
This video interview discussion is awesome. Thanks.
The great thing about this Dr K dude is he’s giving awareness while he’s talking about it 💡It is simple. Doing it and being it takes A LOT of work. Sustained effort.
This is top 3 fave YT vids for me now.
Have you watched the full interview? So so good!
This is extremely awesome advice.
I am stunned about what he said and how easily he explained it.
Brilliant clear information 💜uk
Dr. K is genius, we all have 24h a day, and most people work double the time than others and make 10000x less, it's on the inside whats happening, cut the distractions, focus on inner work.
I'm learning now who I really am! And telling myself when that child comes out, this is not me!! You are better than what he made you think you are! It's dawning on me but it's been 6months now😩it takes time!
What we are told as a child can really hurt us as an adult that is false thoughts.
People will mirror how you feel about yourself! The sense of who you are is important!
90% problems can be solved with pure awareness of self
My colleague at work was harassed in the middle east by a taxi driver literally because she was too nice and predators could feel it. Me having that angry girl inside all these years made a huge mess just because the driver took a longer route and cost me more. That crazy girl was made in childhood due to trauma and she is my biggest protector against the crazy world, nothing to change about it 😅 crazy and normal are coexisting perfectly. 😊
dr k is always awesome. 😊
and it is so important for us all to focus on our old problems and solve them instead of pushibg them away and always running again into the same problems 😊
I really really like this guy!) Steven's face was like "seat and do nothing for a while?? Whhaaat??" 😂😂
If an ordinary guy confronted and told you about it, you would not take him serious. Popularity somehow draws one’s attention to actually think about what is said
@@evan3087 he did not simply gave a blank statement , he did explain why to do so , popularity is not the only factor here , infact people watching him first time via this clip might also find it very useful
@@rggrrggr290 who said he gave a blank statement? lol. They would find it useful when he is pitched on a platform which is already established. Understood Mr. genius? Why don’t you go and tell the same thing he says to different strangers and see how they react. Maybe you can do that field work and get back here
@@evan3087 why so salty ? maybe you are partially correct but it depends on the listener
@@rggrrggr290 cause you lack the perception of reality. If it depends, then go do the field work and see where the majority is inclined to
Philippians 3:13
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before
Absolutely loved what he is saying.
this vid was so F*****g helpful. I'm gobsmacked. And I thought I was reasonably aware of what's going on in my mind. I'm seeing a bit of a different picture now. I just couldn't work out why I'm so driven to always, and I mean ALWAYS be doing something. Accomplishing something. Even though I know that the satisfaction from that accomplishment is going to be short lived.
He is just really great in explaining the real deep issue underneath ..
the complexity of it..
+he is a down to earth doc...+funny
love him !!!
he is a real pro
+ very intuitive and so damn true what he explains
I have been looping for a while now. It’s due to the abandonment I experienced as a kid. The pain was too much and my achieving and addiction was to not feel it. Now it’s coming up…it sucks but it’s the only way to heal. 😢
This is the best advice I heard in a long time
The indian accent moment 😂😂😂 👌
9:50 hehe
So good lol!
😂 perfect placement, laughed out loud.
@@Simo-qp6xg me too. I love it when he does that.
Right, scamming us even on UA-cam
My favourite line in the whole of universe which resonated with me even as a kid was the famous line written by W.H.Davies titled Leisure " what is this life if, full of care , we have no time to stand and stare "❤
This guy knows so much. So interesting .
Thank you ❤
Awareness itself/meditation can also be a form of escape. There is no clear answer to everyones problem. Somebody might need action, somebody else more self awareness. Be a light unto yourself.
Thank you, Dr. K
Triggers are step one. We all have them. But some of us have a minefield of them. Depending on how traumatized we are. Some of them are explosive, connected with anger. Others make you shrink, in sorrow or shame. A good start is sorting out or greyrocking people that trigger us and concentrate on the people with whom we have good communication. We must be aware of manipulative people. When we are triggered, it's helpful to think: am I oversensitive or is this person actually manipulating me? Manipulative people are masters at discovering triggers. I wonder how they work.
Triggers don't matter...it's the charge inside of you that they are connected to......
@@01Bouwhuis That's what it is. Something happens outside and something goes on inside of you. Due to "memories". Often supressed.
And yes, I do believe that's the point to think whether it's manipulation. Or your overreaction.
Dr K
😊
Insightful
Awesome explanation! Thank you
Dr K thank you for doing what you do ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
In his book "Heal the Shame that Binds You" John Bradshaw pioneered the concept of the inner child. In the 1980s I read that book. It was painful to read, but I did all of the suggested exercises. It helped me enormously to get past the trauma resulting from my childhood trauma of an abusive father.
I loved the joyous smile 😂
When speaking with Dr K
Hahaha happy 😊
This guy! Wow. Hes good and on point!
The solution is to learn a new emotion, ie. Anger to gratitude for the lesson the antagonist caused in you. Become a different person, by using metacognition/awareness of thoughts, then you have choice to chose what you want to be/do/feel / create.
We identify ourselves by our job. Or lack of.
Not by our emotions.
Suffer with depression so only get worse if I'm doing nothing.
This dude is a genius!
Being aware helped me but it does take years.
3:17 I did not know Dr. K sits the way he sits.
Steven; "ah, dah, um! What am i again?" No vision, no mission, and no measurable goals!😂😂😂
Living in the present, is one thing, living life and being aware of it and yourself that can be 2 very difficult n complex things
It is at this pinnacle of video & time taht had me further identified myself, and to move forward, with my sis help in career movement and whoever that picked up this length of the video: KUDOS TO U, i have further opened and aware of myself. so i know why and who i am; which is an important step toward understanding my emotional responses
reminds of some things dispenza says. it’s v good to have this additional perspective tho
This guy is amazing!!🎉❤
Drk is the real deal
Great video!!! Thank you!!
Hi Steven, sorry to break your heart here in Portugal in a few days😅, in fc porto 🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹.
Great job!
Life is a journey. Just be aware and feel through your mind, words, and inter-actions.
Love this guy ❤ the Indian accent 😂😂😂
This helped me to realize i have an invisible problem. I have never seen anyone sit in a chair like that.
LOVE DR K! so bizarre when i see him talking to others lol
That was fascinating
Came thru at a clutch time OGE big sub
This is a really good interview!
One wonderful man labeled the underlying identity belief core root as “I’m not good enough”. (That’s one core root identity belief, there are others). But coming to realize that the identity is submerged in a victim mentality and what that means is big, imo. A work in progress bcuz to finally realize one is Not the identity, and the identity holds on by screaming Im Real, I matter, I’m scared, and then to stop and be with it, not deny, not fix, not soothe, but to realize it’s all belief on top of belief….. and the harder part is allowing the fear. Being willing to observe and feel the freaking fears, cry the tears. Just breathing deeply feels like an affront to the trauma!
False Evidence Appearing Real. Easier said!
I relate to this heavy- felt like he was talking directly to me 🤣
This was amazing to listen to :D Ty!