Do not, EVER, date a person who is rude to a "low skilled worker" (ie. a waiter). That behaviour is absolutely their normal behaviour and they're only being nice to you, which will not last.
@@amandarama3314 "low skilled workers" are essential workers and the backbone of our society. Right now in our area street cleaners aren't being employed because of COVID and ALL the streets are full of rubbish because you've got idiots/anti-maskers who go out drinking at 2 am. My dad used to be a litter picker and he'd always tell me "study hard so you don't end up like me". Like what? Doing honest work to provide for your family?
my dating advice is that, especially for high schoolers, don't rely on outside sources to tell you what your relationship status should be. Do things at a pace you feel comfortable with and don't let people pressure you to do otherwise. You are not unloveable just because you don't "fit" the mold of what everyone around you is doing. -- sincerely, an asexual virgin who is tired of society telling her she needs to be/can be "fixed" (also thanks Kat I will gladly be your valentine 😜)
I completely agree! And that's something my younger self also desperately would have needed to hear. Interestingly, until I read that last part, I didn't even think about how this applies to asexual people. But yes, whether you're just inexperienced and worried that you've fallen too far behind and will never catch up (like my younger self), or you're just completely uninterested in all that stuff (like you, if I'm understanding correctly), or any other variation, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Everyone's pace is different.
My lesson is that love is not enough. You can be so in love with someone it physically hurts but if they mistreat you, neglect you, don't give you the time of day, you can't stay in that relationship. If they give 5%, you can't give 200% to compensate, you're just going to get hurt. Love is a beautiful thing but relationships need to be healthy.
Yep, ended a relationship for this reason about 3 months ago. We loved each other so much, but I was putting in so much effort and he was putting none.
here's some dating advice for fellow theatre kids, date the person, not the role. it's easy to romanticize someone because of who they played on stage (especially if it's a role or a show people love romanticizing the characters from), but when you take that away they're someone completely different. and then everyone is left chasing something that isn't real, that doesn't exist because your relationship is with someone who doesn't exist. even though i never had a named role like he did, he saw the role I played in my drama club as the always caring mom friend who swoops in and saves everyone all the time. he loved my role and I loved his role (which was an actual like named role). date the person, not the role.
The history of wrong guys: Chapter one - he's a bum Two - he's not into you Three - he's a sleaze Four - loves the girl next door Five - loves the boy next door Six - don't love you no more - Makes you insecure - Makes you so unsure - Is so immature - Loves his mother more - Or has a girlfriend named Nicolaaaa
This might be self-serving but for all my fellow straight male theatre lovers in the comment section: we aren’t any less of men just because we’re doing something (or at least HOPEFULLY some time soon doing something-stupid COVID) that society has deemed less “manly”, whatever that is. I’ve felt like that at times. I think we have all wrestle at one point or another with what “being a man” means and if what feels right to you doesn’t mesh with what society is trying to tell you then it’s society that should change, not you. No one is thinking any less of Hugh Jackman just because he can carry a tune. Why should it be any different for any of us?
yeah dude! and guys, you define what manly is, for some people is the typical "strong, rude and muscle" and all that cra0, but for some people there are other values "honesty, Calm, Support, knowledge" whatever you value as manliness, is what will define it for you, so dont let assholes define it ;) recomendation, read about the ubermench and the original meaning of it
Advice I wish I’d had in my younger years: 1: you don’t have to force yourself to like someone just for the sake of liking someone, let those feelings come naturally. 2: just because you aren’t physically/sexually attracted to anyone doesn’t mean your “incapable of love” (legit something my friends said RIP) (I only recently learned asexuality is a thing, but looking back I’ve been ace all along and it would have been nice to know that’s valid 😂)
I'm a straight musical theatre guy who had to learn some of these lessons himself since I wasn't popular with girls. Learning my own stuff and just starting to love myself and find my way. But it was nice to have been able to relate to some of the feelings expressed in this video when I didn't expect to.
I'm so glad you mentioned the whole trend of hating straight men in musical theatre. I just find that so stupid because there are plenty of straight men in theatre who are absolute sweethearts and insanely talented. If you want to talk about how straight men are judged less than women and there are lower expectations because there's so few of them, now that is something true and interesting, and it doesn't put the blame on them. I'm just very passionate about this entire thing as a bisexual woman. I also think this goes hand-in-hand with the trend of telling bisexuals they shouldn't like men. It's so dumb. Boys who sing and dance are cute and I will never stop simping.
here's a piece of dating advice: just because someone seems perfect for you and they say all the right things and do all the right things and tick all the right boxes, if your instincts and your feelings say there's nothing there, there's just nothing there. I am a super rational person and have more than once tried to make something work with people I rationally wanted to like but at the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants. - me quoting selena gomez quoting emily dickinson
Advise to younger me: I know you’ve always wanted a boyfriend and to be in a relationship, but it’s ok if you’re not. You live in a Mormon state. It’s not actually normal to be married straight out of high school and have 5 kids by the time you’re 30, and I’m sorry that all of this messed you up because it was the norm that you saw every single day. Maybe one day you’ll have your first boyfriend but try to be happy on your own 💜
My lesson is: If they’ve flirted with or literally made out with half the female cast, something casual is the most likely to occur with them. Not always a bad thing if you’re not looking for something serious but when you’re a young high schooler who likes the idea of a high school romance, it hurts when that’s not what you get. Also, I’ve been the innocent one in the theatre group who always wins never have I ever too. That said when we played never have I ever, they found a way to involve the innocent girl in the loser “punishment.” Basically, I got peer pressured into kissing a friend who lost and they were surprised when I actually did it. It’s definitely seemed more questionable and a tad problematic as I’ve gotten older.
as a hopeless romantic who’s been in 6 onstage relationships and 0 real ones...thank you. Quarantine loneliness has really added to wondering what my chronic singledom might mean about me, and I desperately needed to hear all of this-thank you so much, Kat, you have no idea what this means to me ♥️
I was talking to this guy and he was really into me but he kept talking about the same things. I just assumed that once we went on an actual date, we'd find something new to talk about. My mom heard my doubts and she said "If you're bored with him now, he'll never be interesting to you in the long run." And that just kinda blew my mind.
You have no idea how quickly I clicked. You deserve the right person in friendship and more. You're awesome!! Edit: While on the topic of love, I just confessed to my crush of five years! And he didn't even understand it. I'm over him.
QOTD: I have no advice for dating!! but on Valentine’s Day my friend and I are going to eat food and listen to musicals... then again we do that most days
I asked my wife out for the first time because I knew that, after flirting all day at a high school science competition, I was about to leave and if she said no, I'd never see her again anyway. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had the courage. Also, since we met in high school, we waited many years before getting married. Not until we were 24 and 26 and had been together for 8 years. We're now 38 and 40 with 9 year old twin girls.
My tips: - don't feel that you need to be rushed into something you don't want to to do just because you feel you're mocked for not experiencing it (I was THIS CLOSE to losing it as a one-night stand, because I felt such a loser for being a virgin at age xxx... I am so happy I decided not to, because that would not have been me) - don't settle in a relationship / don't ignore red flags in a relationship just because "finally you have someone, you should appreciate him / her"... also applicable for friendships, really. Don't put up with people give out their frustration on you which were caused by other people, people making empty promises, don't put up with people ignoring your uneasiness about certain interactions, don't put up with people making fun of your hobbies constantly (unless it is all in good spirit and it is mutual), don't put up with people creating drama by lying about you or things you talked about to other people, don't put up with people financially abusing you etc. - don't long / lust for people who mock you and try to bring you down (it is so easy to think that they are better than you, but nope.) - don't make big life decisions hastily, without getting to know the person you're seeing really well - only change your looks for you, not for someone else
QOTD: i wish i knew that putting more effort into a relationship than the other person doesn’t mean you are too clingy, it just means that person probably isn’t the right match for you!
After being stuck in a 3 year abusive relationship in college my advise is if your friends are concerned about you and hate your SO they might be seeing something you don’t. Now not all friends will like who you date, but if every single one of your friends is concerned there might be something there.
The only advice I’ve got because I’m not quite used to being in a relationship is don’t jump into a relationship if you are not into the guy and hope feelings start. I’ve done this twice in my two relationships I had. It just doesn’t work. I’ve just decided just focus on me since there’s no time to balance a relationship anyway. And I should probably love myself more since I have the confidence problem too I don’t think highly of myself that no one will love me which is not the right mindset to be in.
QOTD: I wish I had told myself: If you don’t like them, don’t date them! You don’t *owe* them a date just because they like you. Only date people that you *want* to date.
YES, but as a guy, if he asks you out politely, PLEASE reciprocate in KIND and turn us down as best you can. Asking someone out, especially for an awkward and introverted person, like me, is nerve-wracking enough. 👐 Not that you DO do this, but this is a general plea from someone else in the trenches-but on the other side.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 100% it’s so important to be kind. I just never understood *how* to be the most kind in that situation. (just to explain my thought process in case someone else is struggling with this: ) I really valued the guys who would ask me out, and I wanted to be kind and show them how amazing they are. When they asked me out, I thought the kindest thing was just to accept and hope I’d get romantic feelings for them eventually. I was too afraid of hurting their feelings by saying no. But I eventually realized that it’s far worse to lie and pretend to have romantic feelings. It’s disrespectful to yourself *and* to the person who asked you. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is pretending to like them, they want someone who actually does. It would have been kindest to say I’m really sorry, I don’t feel the same way and I don’t want to lead you on. But I really value you as a person, and my friend. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to continue hanging out, but it would be platonic for me. I had thought I had to choose between respecting myself *or* respecting my guy friends. I now realize it was either respect us both or hurt us both. Lying about feelings doesn’t make *anyone* happier in the end.
My advice is that you do not need a romantic partner to be happy! Self love is so important so you can be the best version of yourself for YOU. I see so many of my friends always complaining about being single, talking about finding "the one" (to each their own but we are literally 18-19), and just always wanting to date someone because they hate being alone. It makes me sad that they need a partner to be happy, and I see a lot of my friends ending up in bad situations because of this. Better to be alone and work on yourself than in a relationship and miserable.
My advice for my younger self would be: Respect yourself. If he's only good with you when you're alone or when he's drunk (and alone), he's not as brave as you think. And you deserve to not be a secret. Also, he's not that talented, you could do circles around him all day, he's just tall, socially accepted handsome and masculine because he's "straight".
“This was an example of falling for the idea of someone rather than who they actually are” Yup! Thanks for that heads up because that is still too sensitive of a topic for me to personally listen so I will have to come back to this video. I love you, Kat, I think the content and honest opinions you share with us are very considerate and thoughtful I’ll have to add this to the callback list! 😅😆🙃
My dating advice: remember that who you're dating doesn't define you or your life. Worst case scenario if you never dated anyone ever, you can still be a well-rounded person and live an incredibly full life and surround yourself with so many friends and family that this one box ticked for "relationship" shouldn't mean you feel incomplete. A partner isn't your whole life, they're someone you share it with to make the hard parts easier and the best parts better- but that doesn't mean you can't handle all the highs and lows on your own too. ❤️
The first like four minutes of this was something I needed so much. A lot of my friends are dating or at least have someone (or multiple people) interested in them and sometimes it sucks. But it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me.
I think so many people feel like they need to change themselves to get others to like them because our own insecurities blur how we see ourselves. Be proud of who you are and learn to love yourself because how can we expect others to love us if we cant except loving ourselves. Note: this is just my opinion and its perfectly okay if you disagree. Im proud of who i am (quirks and all)
YES!!! This is why, despite having songs & dance numbers that are a blast to perform.... ... I detest Grease and want to read the riot act to any adult who thinks it is a good show for a student production. (Felt that way when I was in it at 18 and still feel that way 4 decades later.)
the advice that i would give to my younger self would be, you don't feel attraction or express feelings the same way as majority of people, but you know what that's ok! you are ace and that's perfectly fine
"I win every single round of Never Have I ever!'' Oh my god, you really are the performer version of me! (Proud Stage Hand that can't carry a tune in a bucket here!) And yes Kat, I will be your Valentine while I get the guts to ask out the cute guy I'm have been trying not to be smitten with!
My advice: you don’t have to have a certain type of relationship My parents met in middle school and are high school sweethearts. So I was convinced my first boyfriend would be the one and I went through nine months of a terrible relationship that I hadn’t even really liked after the first month. Hold out for people you actually like. Go out there and try. I’m now with a great guy and I regret wasting my time with that garbage fire relationship when I could’ve been so much happier if I’d gotten out of my own way EDIT: not to say you need a boyfriend. I really meant to more imply I was so convinced I needed one I made myself miserable in the process when I would’ve been happier alone
hi!!! i just wanted to say thank you for introducing me to the light in the piazza🥺 clara is my biggest dream role & listening to this show has gotten me through quarantine
My piece of advice that I learned that I wish I knew earlier- That no ones first relationship is perfect and fights will happen and feelings will be hurt, but you have to talk to one another and let each other known when you are hurt and why
Something I wish people had told me (or would tell me cuz I still don’t know)- how to find the balance between not wanting to be in a relationship to work on yourself, and working on yourself with a partner. I’ve had a lot of mental health struggles and I’ve always gotten a mix of “You should find someone to help you through it!!” and “Wait until you’ve solved yourself completely so you don’t become undesirable by burdening men with your problems!!”
So I put Valentines Day and New Years in the same category. Both have way to many expectations and i usually end up sad and/or lonely. This year i started my teaching practicum so i have 26 grade 2 students who asked to be my valentine and now I also have Kat. honestly the best Valentines since I was a kid.
I’ve finally thought of advice it’s that you can’t let the rest of the world make decisions for you, you just have to trust your instincts and try to make your relationship work in your own way, you’re your own person Sincerely, the person who’s only dated one person
I'm extremely late but the best dating/flirting advice I could give, especially with people trying to date guys; be very direct, they’re probably going to pick up on if you're not.
I could literally spend all day listening to you talk about straight men in musical theater, it's something that has always intrigued me to know but I don't feel comfortable speaking on time until they think I'm segmenting people.
I'm not even done watching the video and I can already say this is amazing. Thank you for being so genuine :-) - a subscriber for a couple years who is a straight theater guy
Yes! This video is great. Thanks for sharing with us. Something I wish I had known earlier: there is this thing called "aromantic" which I happen to be and "crush" is not the term for "the guy I like more than all the others because all the others are extremly shitty to me" because that was literally how I chose my crushes (which is not even a thing. You don't CHOOSE crushes.) So yeah. Only took 20 years for me to figure out. 🙃
I love the history of wrong guys I would play the song and flip through one on my playbills and pretend that that was the history of wrong guys, when really I've never dated anyone
Just thought I might share some tips to dating (Assuming you're actually interested in dating, these should apply no matter your orientation). Also, I decided to make most of these based around lines/song lyrics from Into the Woods: - Kat touches on this, but it's worth repeating. Remember what Cinderella's mother asked her at the grave: "Are you certain what you wish is what you want?" Do you want to be in a relationship with someone because you actually want to spend more time with them and have them be a bigger part of your life? Or do you just want to be in a relationship because you feel pressured? If it's the ladder, then don't go for it. That will only make the relationship feel hollow and meaningless. - "But what if I am what a prince would envision?" Don't try to force yourself into an idea of what you think they want. If they wanted that over you, then they wouldn't be interested in you. - "I thought one was enough, it's not true. It takes two of us." Basically, make sure that you and your potential partner see each other as equals, and that one person isn't going to run the show in the relationship. - "I must have her to wife." Don't be like the princes. The first person you date doesn't have to end up being your spouse. - "Into the woods without regret, the choice is made, the task is set. Into the woods, but not forgetting why I'm on the journey." While you're pursuing someone, remember why you're doing it, or rather why you SHOULD be doing it: because you want to have them be a bigger part of your life, because you enjoy spending time with them. It's not like you're asking them for an organ or anything, you're (potentially) asking them if they want to spend more time with you and invest a little bit more of their life with you. It's not that big of a deal when you really look at it. So try not to make such a big deal out of it. - I'm honestly kinda sad that more people don't try this: LOOK AMONG YOUR FRIENDS! If you're good friends with someone, then you already know several things about them: you enjoy spending time with them and them with you, you've built up a trusting relationship, you (should) view each other as equals, you share at least one common interest that you can converse about, you get along very well with each other, and you feel comfortable around them. These things are HUGE for romantic relationships. Besides, it's just a lot easier to actually try approaching someone who you're friends with, since you already know that they like you, as opposed to a relative stranger who might reject you really harshly. If you reached the end. Thank you! Have a nice day :) And Kat, I would have loved to be your valentine if I had commented earlier XD
the only real crush i’ve ever had in my life was a straight guy i did a musical with a couple years ago. but fun fact: we bonded over how we were both fans of kat and these videos 🥺💕 truly the one that got away 😭
Boundaries are so important! It’s great that you knew that you weren’t comfortable sharing something and had the strength to respect your own boundaries❤️
i genuinely felt it in my soul when Katherine said that she was the designated “innocent” in her friend groups and how she won every game of never have i ever... girl me too
Why did I never see this when it was posted?! I was you kat when I left high school and definitely rushed into situations at 18 that I still question at 21 (I know that’s not a long time). Thanks for being an older sister I very much needed. Also I think I’m still like you, I have an undying love for next to normal and just talk about shows all day with my boss. And still “hung up” on my Gabe. I did tell him and the pandemic hair is what made it fizzle which make me feel awful, like am I that shallow. Okay I’m going to stop adding to this.
I’m so happy that you decided to cut that third story out for your own growth. Seeing as it was about setting boundaries, I hope someday you are comfortable enough to share it on your terms, as it is a lesson we all need to learn. I know for me, setting firm boundaries on how I expect to be treated and behaviors I will not tolerate in any relationship would have saved me from 3 years of ab*** and gaslighting from a person I shared a living situation with.
Hello! As a white, straight, Music Theater man I just want to say I love every second of this! All of what you say Kat is very reminiscant of my own experience. It's good to know feeling like this can be felt on the other spectrum as well. My advice? As dad always puts it: "It's better to poop your pants then die of constipation." Take the risk. Ask them if they like you OR ask them out. Worst they can say is No and then you at least KNOW rather then living in What If
love the editing in this video! my dating advice, well its more of a breaking up advice, but getting over somebody is 50% a choice we all say "i want to but i cant" yes you can!! But you have to accept the fact that something didn't work out even if it means recognizing that someone rejected you, bc being rejected feels horrible but it doesnt mean youre not worthy of love. Let go of the idea of them changing their opinion about you bc that opinion DOES NOT define you and then just let time do its work!
I will literally cry if you make a video about Tuck Everlasting. Despite it's amazingness, it's horrifyingly underrated. It has amazing music, costumes, plot, and best of all, it's suitable for theatre fans of all ages. Fans of Anastasia or Little Women will love the wholesome energy and adventurous spirit. Plus, we all need a little more Andrew Keenan Bolger in our lives.
Dating advice: marry old and rich. Once you're bored with your wife/husband/partner, inject potassium into their bloodstream, killing them and making it look like a heart attack. (Acting lessons required before plan is enacted) now you play the role of the mourning spouse, all the while raking up millions in inheritance :)
Funny enough, as a straight male in musical theater i actually felt the EXACT same about female attention as you did about male attention. I was talented, but i was also hyperactive, strange, a little energetic, and lacked a filter. i have been diagnosed ADHD since i was young and MAN was i the epitome of a child even to this day. I wasn't well liked, by either girls or guys, especially those who i was attracted to or crushed on. i was often the 'friend' but never the 'lover', once again even to this day, and i'm still learning to move on from that thinking and open myself up to other possibilities. I My most recent heartbreak was the EXACT same thing. pining for this person of IMMENSE musical theater talent who i was SOOO into (and who was actually into me for a short time as well), but when your playfulness, filtrating, and even short lived FWB didn't work out (i was also taken advantage of emotionally because wanted it SOO bad) and i saw the guy she wound up choosing to give her love to and date, who was a 6ft, masculine dude with a 6-pack, and as a flamboyant, hyperactive straight guy in theater who is also a costume designer, dancer, actor, (i mean my dossier screams 'gay stereotype' and i have a love/hate relationship with that), my first reaction was "of course" that's who I lose to. It destroyed me because even as an adult, I can never feel like I can leave a lasting impression on someone to commit, that zone of not being worth the love I know I am disserving of from someone who I felt i was getting it from. I just never seem to fit the mold of who someone wants, for anyone, whether its someone into theater or not, but ESPECIALLY in theater, ironically enough. right now it's allowing myself to learn and grow by trying to make connections outside the theater, which isn't easy. i live and breath this life and connecting with someone outside of it, never mind dating them, does not come easy for me because almost every single one of my closest relationships, especially dating wise, has been in the theater. Sure I had girl friends, but all of my girlfriends so far have been theater people, in particular those who gravitate to musical theater. idk why but a singing voice is SOOOO attractive to me. I'm a communicator and deeply emotional, i consider myself straight, but i am not like other straight men, and i know i can be better, but those insecurities often do get in the way. Figuring out my own problems, issues, and acknowledging the want to change, loving who i am first rather than hoping someone will for me.
Really make sure that you’re interested in dating the person that you’re dating and not just the attention, it seems fun at the start but it’ll end up hurting you and them
Love your video, I'm in college but I don't have a relationship, litterally haven't since like 5th grade, and let's be honest that doesn't count. But in my last school year a guy liked me, and I liked him as a friend, so my advise is to pay attention to how people act, and what your friends, family, and pets think of them. This dude was kinda weird, my parents met him and didn't like him, neither did my dog, and my friends didn't like the tought of him dating me. When he confessed and I realized I didn't like him, i turned him down, and he kept on insisting and making me unconfortable for weeks, untill eventually he blocked me and stopped talking to me even at school. So yeah, if you don't like someone you don't owe them anything, and if you and the people close to you smell something fishy, trust them.
Going with the theme of your video, I dated a guy who we’ll call “Henry” (based off of Next to Normal), we dated for a year and in this time we went through many troubles and in the end we ended things rather messy, but like Natalie and Henry’s relationship in the musical, he tried so hard to help me and to work things out but we were both dealing with mental issues and I was dealing with coming to terms with my sexuality along with being in my first relationship, I pushed him away and unlike the musical where they reunite and they are together because no matter if she goes crazy or he goes crazy, they’re perfect for each other and they make up, I pushed him far away and it lead me locking myself in the bathroom crying while we broke up over text, We are still talking, trying to stay friends and I still do love him, i will always love him, I never thought I could love someone so much as him but in the end no matter how much we tried to stay together it just ended up falling through. So I guess Advice: sometimes things don’t work out and sometimes it’s for the better, you can still love that person but sometimes it works better when you aren’t together, these things happen but it’s not the end of the world. And if something doesn’t work it, it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault and that your an awful human being, like I said these things happen and you can’t blame yourself.
I love that this video even exists
@@Ashley-bt1dm heyyyyyy!
came here to say this 😂
My advice I wish I had known: That not wanting to date anyone is totally fine! You can be a full, happy person even without a romantic partnership.
Do not, EVER, date a person who is rude to a "low skilled worker" (ie. a waiter). That behaviour is absolutely their normal behaviour and they're only being nice to you, which will not last.
Also if they call them low skill that's also a red flag that they're a douche and don't respect members of the lower income working class
@@amandarama3314 "low skilled workers" are essential workers and the backbone of our society. Right now in our area street cleaners aren't being employed because of COVID and ALL the streets are full of rubbish because you've got idiots/anti-maskers who go out drinking at 2 am. My dad used to be a litter picker and he'd always tell me "study hard so you don't end up like me". Like what? Doing honest work to provide for your family?
What happens when your date is justifiably frustrated with a poor waiter or theater usher or other service member?
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 I'm not dignifying that with an answer because you know the answer to that.
Totally unrelated to the video but I’ve just corrected my friend on Hamilton lyrics, he actually thought it said “young scrappy and h o r n y”
I mean, I can see why he would think that lol
That’s a huge mood tbh
😱😱 woowww😂
i mean.. not that far off
Gives a different connotation to the next line "and I'm not throwing away my shot."
I guess someone's getting pregnant in the story of tonight.
me, a lesbian, who has never been on a date in her entire life: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN
also this video was iconic and amazing mwah
mood
Me as an ace with anxiety-
haha basically me
Me as a like, child
SAME
“The History of Wrong Guys (and Girls)” - Me about my fictional crushes who can never love me back
mooooood
Saaaameee
Truth honestly
Same here
yaaa
my dating advice is that, especially for high schoolers, don't rely on outside sources to tell you what your relationship status should be. Do things at a pace you feel comfortable with and don't let people pressure you to do otherwise. You are not unloveable just because you don't "fit" the mold of what everyone around you is doing. -- sincerely, an asexual virgin who is tired of society telling her she needs to be/can be "fixed" (also thanks Kat I will gladly be your valentine 😜)
Girl we relate. I feel understood.
I completely agree! And that's something my younger self also desperately would have needed to hear.
Interestingly, until I read that last part, I didn't even think about how this applies to asexual people.
But yes, whether you're just inexperienced and worried that you've fallen too far behind and will never catch up (like my younger self), or you're just completely uninterested in all that stuff (like you, if I'm understanding correctly), or any other variation, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Everyone's pace is different.
us aces are severely misunderstood 😔
“Please I am just a Dorito”
-kat 2021
My lesson is that love is not enough. You can be so in love with someone it physically hurts but if they mistreat you, neglect you, don't give you the time of day, you can't stay in that relationship. If they give 5%, you can't give 200% to compensate, you're just going to get hurt. Love is a beautiful thing but relationships need to be healthy.
well said, Courtney ❤️
Yep, ended a relationship for this reason about 3 months ago. We loved each other so much, but I was putting in so much effort and he was putting none.
Damn why u gotta spit truth like that? Some of us are not ready for this info
here's some dating advice for fellow theatre kids, date the person, not the role. it's easy to romanticize someone because of who they played on stage (especially if it's a role or a show people love romanticizing the characters from), but when you take that away they're someone completely different. and then everyone is left chasing something that isn't real, that doesn't exist because your relationship is with someone who doesn't exist. even though i never had a named role like he did, he saw the role I played in my drama club as the always caring mom friend who swoops in and saves everyone all the time. he loved my role and I loved his role (which was an actual like named role). date the person, not the role.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I had this problem for a couple of showmances.
"That's just a thing we call ourselves, we're not a real cult... "
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬
HEhE
hehe
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"This is not the Marvel Cinematic Universe, this is just my dating history" - the quote that wins the internet
The history of wrong guys:
Chapter one - he's a bum
Two - he's not into you
Three - he's a sleaze
Four - loves the girl next door
Five - loves the boy next door
Six - don't love you no more
- Makes you insecure
- Makes you so unsure
- Is so immature
- Loves his mother more
- Or has a girlfriend named Nicolaaaa
Six should be "I don't need your love" cause...SIX
@@marasings6651 YeS
Me who is a huge fan of Kinky Boots :(
This might be self-serving but for all my fellow straight male theatre lovers in the comment section: we aren’t any less of men just because we’re doing something (or at least HOPEFULLY some time soon doing something-stupid COVID) that society has deemed less “manly”, whatever that is. I’ve felt like that at times. I think we have all wrestle at one point or another with what “being a man” means and if what feels right to you doesn’t mesh with what society is trying to tell you then it’s society that should change, not you. No one is thinking any less of Hugh Jackman just because he can carry a tune. Why should it be any different for any of us?
yeah dude! and guys, you define what manly is, for some people is the typical "strong, rude and muscle" and all that cra0, but for some people there are other values "honesty, Calm, Support, knowledge"
whatever you value as manliness, is what will define it for you, so dont let assholes define it ;) recomendation, read about the ubermench and the original meaning of it
Kat: “You are enough on your own”
Me: “Let me finish this real quick...
You are enough
You are SO enough
It‘s UNBELIEVABLE how enough you are” ✨❤️
yayyyyyyy sie sie
I hate how much I needed this - thanks so much!
SIERRA BOGGESS hi
Advice I wish I’d had in my younger years:
1: you don’t have to force yourself to like someone just for the sake of liking someone, let those feelings come naturally.
2: just because you aren’t physically/sexually attracted to anyone doesn’t mean your “incapable of love” (legit something my friends said RIP)
(I only recently learned asexuality is a thing, but looking back I’ve been ace all along and it would have been nice to know that’s valid 😂)
VERY VALID
As a high schooler who has only had one crush in my life, that first bit of advice is something I need to hear. Thank you.
@@ella_melchionna unrelated but is that solangelo in your pfp-
@@cinnamoony3996 yes
@@ella_melchionna y e s
"Please, I am just a Dorito"
- Kat Steele 2021
I'm a straight musical theatre guy who had to learn some of these lessons himself since I wasn't popular with girls. Learning my own stuff and just starting to love myself and find my way. But it was nice to have been able to relate to some of the feelings expressed in this video when I didn't expect to.
this is so wholesome wtf can we talk more about guys loving themselves in the way we preach it to girls yes pls
I'm so glad you mentioned the whole trend of hating straight men in musical theatre. I just find that so stupid because there are plenty of straight men in theatre who are absolute sweethearts and insanely talented. If you want to talk about how straight men are judged less than women and there are lower expectations because there's so few of them, now that is something true and interesting, and it doesn't put the blame on them.
I'm just very passionate about this entire thing as a bisexual woman. I also think this goes hand-in-hand with the trend of telling bisexuals they shouldn't like men. It's so dumb.
Boys who sing and dance are cute and I will never stop simping.
here's a piece of dating advice: just because someone seems perfect for you and they say all the right things and do all the right things and tick all the right boxes, if your instincts and your feelings say there's nothing there, there's just nothing there. I am a super rational person and have more than once tried to make something work with people I rationally wanted to like but at the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants. - me quoting selena gomez quoting emily dickinson
Oh hey, sounds like a description of my first official relationship (also so far my only official relationship, but hopefully it won't stay that way).
The heart wants what it wants... And sometimes what it want is TWISTED
@@daankarstens5118 Starkid?
Dating advice: anyone who makes you earn their love doesn’t deserve yours.
I had in mind, “Never let anyone be a priority for you if you’re just another option for them” but I think we’re on the same track.
"guys like busy girls *false* _i like_ busy girls" literally something i told myself when I realized my bisexuality 😂😂😂😂
Advise to younger me: I know you’ve always wanted a boyfriend and to be in a relationship, but it’s ok if you’re not. You live in a Mormon state. It’s not actually normal to be married straight out of high school and have 5 kids by the time you’re 30, and I’m sorry that all of this messed you up because it was the norm that you saw every single day. Maybe one day you’ll have your first boyfriend but try to be happy on your own 💜
My lesson is: If they’ve flirted with or literally made out with half the female cast, something casual is the most likely to occur with them. Not always a bad thing if you’re not looking for something serious but when you’re a young high schooler who likes the idea of a high school romance, it hurts when that’s not what you get.
Also, I’ve been the innocent one in the theatre group who always wins never have I ever too. That said when we played never have I ever, they found a way to involve the innocent girl in the loser “punishment.” Basically, I got peer pressured into kissing a friend who lost and they were surprised when I actually did it. It’s definitely seemed more questionable and a tad problematic as I’ve gotten older.
-im literally listening to this song rn-
"Crushes who have no idea I existed" I felt this
in conclusion,
we’re all clueless about dating 🤠
Women have been making bad choices since the beginning of time
Or we’re...
🎶stupid with love 🎶
@@alessia-adams uMMMMH, THE LYRICS, ARE: WE DIDN’T GET ITTTTTT, someHOOOWWW, DUMB WITH MATH AND STOOPID WITH LOVE
@@alessia-adams lIkE hOW- 🎶
The kinky boots reference in the title makes me so happy:))
"Not a real cult."
N-
Not a real cult..? I've been lied to.
"this is not the marvel sinamatic univerce, this is just my daiting history" iconic
Why be sad about being single when you can just watch the she loves me pro shot and believe in love again?
In other words...
"What I know now" Dating version.
as a hopeless romantic who’s been in 6 onstage relationships and 0 real ones...thank you. Quarantine loneliness has really added to wondering what my chronic singledom might mean about me, and I desperately needed to hear all of this-thank you so much, Kat, you have no idea what this means to me ♥️
I want more "Kat dating cinematic universe" vids
I'm so proud of you for the boundaries bit! Having boundaries is so healthy and important - proud of you!!!
🤍🤍 thank you
i love how she didnt diss any of her exes, keeping it classy
I was talking to this guy and he was really into me but he kept talking about the same things. I just assumed that once we went on an actual date, we'd find something new to talk about. My mom heard my doubts and she said "If you're bored with him now, he'll never be interesting to you in the long run." And that just kinda blew my mind.
You have no idea how quickly I clicked. You deserve the right person in friendship and more. You're awesome!!
Edit: While on the topic of love, I just confessed to my crush of five years! And he didn't even understand it. I'm over him.
Ooof! that hurts. Still, yay on your newfound freedom!
I liked how her mom was the one who asked if the 1st guy was on her short list, shows that they tell each other things and have a good relationship
We do!!🥰
QOTD: I have no advice for dating!! but on Valentine’s Day my friend and I are going to eat food and listen to musicals... then again we do that most days
I’m just going to watch The Notebook and eat chocolate alone in my room.....
*best valentines ever.*
I'm planning on coming out to my parents on Valentine's Day!🏳️🌈
@@emmacarter6033 Awww! Wishing you the best of luck!
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
@@emmacarter6033 that’s amazing! Wishing you a lot of luck!!
I asked my wife out for the first time because I knew that, after flirting all day at a high school science competition, I was about to leave and if she said no, I'd never see her again anyway. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had the courage.
Also, since we met in high school, we waited many years before getting married. Not until we were 24 and 26 and had been together for 8 years. We're now 38 and 40 with 9 year old twin girls.
My tips:
- don't feel that you need to be rushed into something you don't want to to do just because you feel you're mocked for not experiencing it (I was THIS CLOSE to losing it as a one-night stand, because I felt such a loser for being a virgin at age xxx... I am so happy I decided not to, because that would not have been me)
- don't settle in a relationship / don't ignore red flags in a relationship just because "finally you have someone, you should appreciate him / her"... also applicable for friendships, really. Don't put up with people give out their frustration on you which were caused by other people, people making empty promises, don't put up with people ignoring your uneasiness about certain interactions, don't put up with people making fun of your hobbies constantly (unless it is all in good spirit and it is mutual), don't put up with people creating drama by lying about you or things you talked about to other people, don't put up with people financially abusing you etc.
- don't long / lust for people who mock you and try to bring you down (it is so easy to think that they are better than you, but nope.)
- don't make big life decisions hastily, without getting to know the person you're seeing really well
- only change your looks for you, not for someone else
Me, a straight man in musical theater:
“Ah yes, this is incredibly relatable.”
Genuinely tho, love these videos🥰💕
QOTD: i wish i knew that putting more effort into a relationship than the other person doesn’t mean you are too clingy, it just means that person probably isn’t the right match for you!
Me trying to find a straight guy in musical theater that's around my age: 👁👄👁
After being stuck in a 3 year abusive relationship in college my advise is if your friends are concerned about you and hate your SO they might be seeing something you don’t.
Now not all friends will like who you date, but if every single one of your friends is concerned there might be something there.
“please i am just a dorito”
me too kat, me too
The only advice I’ve got because I’m not quite used to being in a relationship is don’t jump into a relationship if you are not into the guy and hope feelings start. I’ve done this twice in my two relationships I had. It just doesn’t work. I’ve just decided just focus on me since there’s no time to balance a relationship anyway. And I should probably love myself more since I have the confidence problem too I don’t think highly of myself that no one will love me which is not the right mindset to be in.
😢 Oh no! Don't say that!
❤ Take good care.
QOTD: I wish I had told myself: If you don’t like them, don’t date them! You don’t *owe* them a date just because they like you. Only date people that you *want* to date.
YES, but as a guy, if he asks you out politely, PLEASE reciprocate in KIND and turn us down as best you can.
Asking someone out, especially for an awkward and introverted person, like me, is nerve-wracking enough.
👐 Not that you DO do this, but this is a general plea from someone else in the trenches-but on the other side.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 100% it’s so important to be kind. I just never understood *how* to be the most kind in that situation. (just to explain my thought process in case someone else is struggling with this: )
I really valued the guys who would ask me out, and I wanted to be kind and show them how amazing they are. When they asked me out, I thought the kindest thing was just to accept and hope I’d get romantic feelings for them eventually. I was too afraid of hurting their feelings by saying no. But I eventually realized that it’s far worse to lie and pretend to have romantic feelings. It’s disrespectful to yourself *and* to the person who asked you. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is pretending to like them, they want someone who actually does.
It would have been kindest to say I’m really sorry, I don’t feel the same way and I don’t want to lead you on. But I really value you as a person, and my friend. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to continue hanging out, but it would be platonic for me.
I had thought I had to choose between respecting myself *or* respecting my guy friends. I now realize it was either respect us both or hurt us both. Lying about feelings doesn’t make *anyone* happier in the end.
Hey Kat!! And hello my fellow musical theatre kids!
Sup!
hi :)
My advice is that you do not need a romantic partner to be happy! Self love is so important so you can be the best version of yourself for YOU. I see so many of my friends always complaining about being single, talking about finding "the one" (to each their own but we are literally 18-19), and just always wanting to date someone because they hate being alone. It makes me sad that they need a partner to be happy, and I see a lot of my friends ending up in bad situations because of this. Better to be alone and work on yourself than in a relationship and miserable.
My advice for my younger self would be: Respect yourself. If he's only good with you when you're alone or when he's drunk (and alone), he's not as brave as you think. And you deserve to not be a secret. Also, he's not that talented, you could do circles around him all day, he's just tall, socially accepted handsome and masculine because he's "straight".
“This was an example of falling for the idea of someone rather than who they actually are”
Yup! Thanks for that heads up because that is still too sensitive of a topic for me to personally listen so I will have to come back to this video.
I love you, Kat, I think the content and honest opinions you share with us are very considerate and thoughtful I’ll have to add this to the callback list! 😅😆🙃
My dating advice: remember that who you're dating doesn't define you or your life. Worst case scenario if you never dated anyone ever, you can still be a well-rounded person and live an incredibly full life and surround yourself with so many friends and family that this one box ticked for "relationship" shouldn't mean you feel incomplete. A partner isn't your whole life, they're someone you share it with to make the hard parts easier and the best parts better- but that doesn't mean you can't handle all the highs and lows on your own too. ❤️
The first like four minutes of this was something I needed so much. A lot of my friends are dating or at least have someone (or multiple people) interested in them and sometimes it sucks. But it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me.
I think so many people feel like they need to change themselves to get others to like them because our own insecurities blur how we see ourselves. Be proud of who you are and learn to love yourself because how can we expect others to love us if we cant except loving ourselves. Note: this is just my opinion and its perfectly okay if you disagree. Im proud of who i am (quirks and all)
love this & totally agree! 💖
YES!!! This is why, despite having songs & dance numbers that are a blast to perform....
... I detest Grease and want to read the riot act to any adult who thinks it is a good show for a student production.
(Felt that way when I was in it at 18 and still feel that way 4 decades later.)
@@movingforwardLDTH What do you think of how Ally Sheedy's character ended up in 'The Breakfast Club' (1985)?
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 , oh, geez, it has been many decades since I saw that. I’ll have to go back & rewatch it.
the advice that i would give to my younger self would be, you don't feel attraction or express feelings the same way as majority of people, but you know what that's ok! you are ace and that's perfectly fine
"I win every single round of Never Have I ever!'' Oh my god, you really are the performer version of me! (Proud Stage Hand that can't carry a tune in a bucket here!)
And yes Kat, I will be your Valentine while I get the guts to ask out the cute guy I'm have been trying not to be smitten with!
My advice: you don’t have to have a certain type of relationship
My parents met in middle school and are high school sweethearts. So I was convinced my first boyfriend would be the one and I went through nine months of a terrible relationship that I hadn’t even really liked after the first month. Hold out for people you actually like. Go out there and try. I’m now with a great guy and I regret wasting my time with that garbage fire relationship when I could’ve been so much happier if I’d gotten out of my own way
EDIT: not to say you need a boyfriend. I really meant to more imply I was so convinced I needed one I made myself miserable in the process when I would’ve been happier alone
QOTD: don’t feel like you have to date. Ever. It’s completely normal to not experience sexual and/or romantic attraction!
I so wished that I would have had this advice when I was younger rather than "you'll find someone someday"
hi!!! i just wanted to say thank you for introducing me to the light in the piazza🥺 clara is my biggest dream role & listening to this show has gotten me through quarantine
My piece of advice that I learned that I wish I knew earlier-
That no ones first relationship is perfect and fights will happen and feelings will be hurt, but you have to talk to one another and let each other known when you are hurt and why
“Please I’m just a Dorito!”✨
Something I wish people had told me (or would tell me cuz I still don’t know)- how to find the balance between not wanting to be in a relationship to work on yourself, and working on yourself with a partner. I’ve had a lot of mental health struggles and I’ve always gotten a mix of “You should find someone to help you through it!!” and “Wait until you’ve solved yourself completely so you don’t become undesirable by burdening men with your problems!!”
So I put Valentines Day and New Years in the same category. Both have way to many expectations and i usually end up sad and/or lonely. This year i started my teaching practicum so i have 26 grade 2 students who asked to be my valentine and now I also have Kat. honestly the best Valentines since I was a kid.
I’ve finally thought of advice it’s that you can’t let the rest of the world make decisions for you, you just have to trust your instincts and try to make your relationship work in your own way, you’re your own person
Sincerely, the person who’s only dated one person
That eye look during the sponsorship plug was GORGEOUS
I'm extremely late but the best dating/flirting advice I could give, especially with people trying to date guys; be very direct, they’re probably going to pick up on if you're not.
I could literally spend all day listening to you talk about straight men in musical theater, it's something that has always intrigued me to know but I don't feel comfortable speaking on time until they think I'm segmenting people.
1. no answer is an answer
2. indecision is a decision
Was I the only one who read the title of the video and thought:
"OH MY GOD KAT RELEASED A COVER OF 'THE HISTORY OF WRONG GUYS' FROM KINKY BOOTS!"
I'm not even done watching the video and I can already say this is amazing. Thank you for being so genuine :-)
- a subscriber for a couple years who is a straight theater guy
Yes! This video is great. Thanks for sharing with us.
Something I wish I had known earlier: there is this thing called "aromantic" which I happen to be and "crush" is not the term for "the guy I like more than all the others because all the others are extremly shitty to me" because that was literally how I chose my crushes (which is not even a thing. You don't CHOOSE crushes.) So yeah. Only took 20 years for me to figure out. 🙃
I love the history of wrong guys I would play the song and flip through one on my playbills and pretend that that was the history of wrong guys, when really I've never dated anyone
Just thought I might share some tips to dating (Assuming you're actually interested in dating, these should apply no matter your orientation). Also, I decided to make most of these based around lines/song lyrics from Into the Woods:
- Kat touches on this, but it's worth repeating. Remember what Cinderella's mother asked her at the grave: "Are you certain what you wish is what you want?" Do you want to be in a relationship with someone because you actually want to spend more time with them and have them be a bigger part of your life? Or do you just want to be in a relationship because you feel pressured? If it's the ladder, then don't go for it. That will only make the relationship feel hollow and meaningless.
- "But what if I am what a prince would envision?" Don't try to force yourself into an idea of what you think they want. If they wanted that over you, then they wouldn't be interested in you.
- "I thought one was enough, it's not true. It takes two of us." Basically, make sure that you and your potential partner see each other as equals, and that one person isn't going to run the show in the relationship.
- "I must have her to wife." Don't be like the princes. The first person you date doesn't have to end up being your spouse.
- "Into the woods without regret, the choice is made, the task is set. Into the woods, but not forgetting why I'm on the journey." While you're pursuing someone, remember why you're doing it, or rather why you SHOULD be doing it: because you want to have them be a bigger part of your life, because you enjoy spending time with them. It's not like you're asking them for an organ or anything, you're (potentially) asking them if they want to spend more time with you and invest a little bit more of their life with you. It's not that big of a deal when you really look at it. So try not to make such a big deal out of it.
- I'm honestly kinda sad that more people don't try this: LOOK AMONG YOUR FRIENDS! If you're good friends with someone, then you already know several things about them: you enjoy spending time with them and them with you, you've built up a trusting relationship, you (should) view each other as equals, you share at least one common interest that you can converse about, you get along very well with each other, and you feel comfortable around them. These things are HUGE for romantic relationships. Besides, it's just a lot easier to actually try approaching someone who you're friends with, since you already know that they like you, as opposed to a relative stranger who might reject you really harshly.
If you reached the end. Thank you! Have a nice day :)
And Kat, I would have loved to be your valentine if I had commented earlier XD
the only real crush i’ve ever had in my life was a straight guy i did a musical with a couple years ago. but fun fact: we bonded over how we were both fans of kat and these videos 🥺💕
truly the one that got away 😭
Can we talk about lesbian dating in this in industry for a moment-
Sure. Um, it’s hard?
@@thegoodwitchluzura I could write a whole essay on it🤣
Me watching this and the Bachelor to understand the strange mating rituals of heterosexuals
Excuse me, Miss Kat, WE ARE MOST DEFINITELY A REAL CULT. Also, thank you so much for this video.
Kat is our new UA-cam older sister and i’m completely fine with it
Boundaries are so important! It’s great that you knew that you weren’t comfortable sharing something and had the strength to respect your own boundaries❤️
me, an aroace who can’t relate to or use any of this but just watching this bc it’s fun:
* sits there with a bowl of popcorn *
i genuinely felt it in my soul when Katherine said that she was the designated “innocent” in her friend groups and how she won every game of never have i ever... girl me too
For someone who just got their heart broken today... This is what I needed. Thank you.
That first guy is exactly my situation right now, so hearing this advice has been so comforting ❤️
Why did I never see this when it was posted?! I was you kat when I left high school and definitely rushed into situations at 18 that I still question at 21 (I know that’s not a long time). Thanks for being an older sister I very much needed. Also I think I’m still like you, I have an undying love for next to normal and just talk about shows all day with my boss. And still “hung up” on my Gabe. I did tell him and the pandemic hair is what made it fizzle which make me feel awful, like am I that shallow. Okay I’m going to stop adding to this.
I’m so happy that you decided to cut that third story out for your own growth. Seeing as it was about setting boundaries, I hope someday you are comfortable enough to share it on your terms, as it is a lesson we all need to learn.
I know for me, setting firm boundaries on how I expect to be treated and behaviors I will not tolerate in any relationship would have saved me from 3 years of ab*** and gaslighting from a person I shared a living situation with.
Hello! As a white, straight, Music Theater man I just want to say I love every second of this! All of what you say Kat is very reminiscant of my own experience. It's good to know feeling like this can be felt on the other spectrum as well.
My advice? As dad always puts it: "It's better to poop your pants then die of constipation." Take the risk. Ask them if they like you OR ask them out. Worst they can say is No and then you at least KNOW rather then living in What If
love the editing in this video! my dating advice, well its more of a breaking up advice, but getting over somebody is 50% a choice
we all say "i want to but i cant" yes you can!! But you have to accept the fact that something didn't work out even if it means recognizing that someone rejected you, bc being rejected feels horrible but it doesnt mean youre not worthy of love. Let go of the idea of them changing their opinion about you bc that opinion DOES NOT define you and then just let time do its work!
When you look back at your history of crushes and all those beautiful boys have turned into bullets you dodged 😂
I will literally cry if you make a video about Tuck Everlasting. Despite it's amazingness, it's horrifyingly underrated. It has amazing music, costumes, plot, and best of all, it's suitable for theatre fans of all ages. Fans of Anastasia or Little Women will love the wholesome energy and adventurous spirit. Plus, we all need a little more Andrew Keenan Bolger in our lives.
Dating advice: marry old and rich. Once you're bored with your wife/husband/partner, inject potassium into their bloodstream, killing them and making it look like a heart attack. (Acting lessons required before plan is enacted) now you play the role of the mourning spouse, all the while raking up millions in inheritance :)
yes❤
Funny enough, as a straight male in musical theater i actually felt the EXACT same about female attention as you did about male attention. I was talented, but i was also hyperactive, strange, a little energetic, and lacked a filter. i have been diagnosed ADHD since i was young and MAN was i the epitome of a child even to this day. I wasn't well liked, by either girls or guys, especially those who i was attracted to or crushed on. i was often the 'friend' but never the 'lover', once again even to this day, and i'm still learning to move on from that thinking and open myself up to other possibilities.
I
My most recent heartbreak was the EXACT same thing. pining for this person of IMMENSE musical theater talent who i was SOOO into (and who was actually into me for a short time as well), but when your playfulness, filtrating, and even short lived FWB didn't work out (i was also taken advantage of emotionally because wanted it SOO bad) and i saw the guy she wound up choosing to give her love to and date, who was a 6ft, masculine dude with a 6-pack, and as a flamboyant, hyperactive straight guy in theater who is also a costume designer, dancer, actor, (i mean my dossier screams 'gay stereotype' and i have a love/hate relationship with that), my first reaction was "of course" that's who I lose to. It destroyed me because even as an adult, I can never feel like I can leave a lasting impression on someone to commit, that zone of not being worth the love I know I am disserving of from someone who I felt i was getting it from. I just never seem to fit the mold of who someone wants, for anyone, whether its someone into theater or not, but ESPECIALLY in theater, ironically enough.
right now it's allowing myself to learn and grow by trying to make connections outside the theater, which isn't easy. i live and breath this life and connecting with someone outside of it, never mind dating them, does not come easy for me because almost every single one of my closest relationships, especially dating wise, has been in the theater.
Sure I had girl friends, but all of my girlfriends so far have been theater people, in particular those who gravitate to musical theater. idk why but a singing voice is SOOOO attractive to me. I'm a communicator and deeply emotional, i consider myself straight, but i am not like other straight men, and i know i can be better, but those insecurities often do get in the way. Figuring out my own problems, issues, and acknowledging the want to change, loving who i am first rather than hoping someone will for me.
Really make sure that you’re interested in dating the person that you’re dating and not just the attention, it seems fun at the start but it’ll end up hurting you and them
Straight theatre guy here. Thanks for making this video. It is good to know what I could be doing wrong.
Love your video, I'm in college but I don't have a relationship, litterally haven't since like 5th grade, and let's be honest that doesn't count. But in my last school year a guy liked me, and I liked him as a friend, so my advise is to pay attention to how people act, and what your friends, family, and pets think of them. This dude was kinda weird, my parents met him and didn't like him, neither did my dog, and my friends didn't like the tought of him dating me. When he confessed and I realized I didn't like him, i turned him down, and he kept on insisting and making me unconfortable for weeks, untill eventually he blocked me and stopped talking to me even at school.
So yeah, if you don't like someone you don't owe them anything, and if you and the people close to you smell something fishy, trust them.
Omg your ‘innocent one’ thing from high school and the never have I ever stuff was me and still is me after 3 years
Charlieeeee honestlyyyyyy... (let’s keep it going in the replies people)
Going with the theme of your video, I dated a guy who we’ll call “Henry” (based off of Next to Normal), we dated for a year and in this time we went through many troubles and in the end we ended things rather messy, but like Natalie and Henry’s relationship in the musical, he tried so hard to help me and to work things out but we were both dealing with mental issues and I was dealing with coming to terms with my sexuality along with being in my first relationship, I pushed him away and unlike the musical where they reunite and they are together because no matter if she goes crazy or he goes crazy, they’re perfect for each other and they make up, I pushed him far away and it lead me locking myself in the bathroom crying while we broke up over text, We are still talking, trying to stay friends and I still do love him, i will always love him, I never thought I could love someone so much as him but in the end no matter how much we tried to stay together it just ended up falling through.
So I guess Advice: sometimes things don’t work out and sometimes it’s for the better, you can still love that person but sometimes it works better when you aren’t together, these things happen but it’s not the end of the world. And if something doesn’t work it, it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault and that your an awful human being, like I said these things happen and you can’t blame yourself.
“Someone else’s success does not equate to you’re failure” well, tell that to Aaron burr