The Problem With "Elegance coaches" | Fake Lifestyles and fake rules
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- Опубліковано 18 січ 2025
- Hey everyone! Today I'm taking a look at elegance coaches... because they confuse me. Let me know your opinions below!
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There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be elegant for yourself, but being classy and educated is also pretty elegant
Also here is my alpha male video! - ua-cam.com/video/OvwummUsGkE/v-deo.htmlsi=ThqZ5Tb-JRLOXjGB
Elegantly spoken 💜
Throughout the whole video I kept begging her to tell me WHY I should want to be elegant and why I should care. She can’t
Elegant is as elegant does
Robert! You are so spicy today!!! I LOVE IT!!! (Says with Gollum-esque voice).
Ok, imho you should plug the alpha male video every couple of months. It’s a great re-watch! 🖤
I just want the 'high quality and elegant women ' and the 'alpha males' to find and marry each other and leave the rest of us alone
I honestly don't want that. if they have kids, their poor minds would be in shambles
Don't forget the trad wives and their quiverfull husbands!
I’m fine with them being miserable together in their mutual insecurities and raging mistrust of each other.
imagine the shitshow in their houses 💀
@@kinokochouchoutheir kids will be miserable but at least maybe their adult children will expose them.
Even if i wore 'elegant' pyjamas, i'd still be drooling, snoring and farting in my sleep
she still doin it too 👀👀🤣🤣🤣
😂😂🤣🤣
With my two dogs
But if you wore elegant pajamas they would be elegant farts.
Best comment yet
For me, being elegant is more about behavior rather than appearances. Dolly Parton fails at many of those fashion/makeup "elegant rules" but she's one of the classiest people I know of. Having good manners, treating everybody with respect (or polite indiference when you can't stand them), and overall trying to be a decent person is my definition of elegance.
Yes, this 👏
That is SUCH a perfect example
Love this. Love her.
AND she invests back into her community, such as her reading and book donation program, and funding vaccine programs. She is a ROLE MODEL!
In Dolly We Trust 🫡
What you posted is 100% spot on. Your clothes do not make you classy, it is your attitude & how you present yourself. A person could be dressed in head to toe with every colour they own in their closet and be the classicist person we know.
You know what I love about elegance coaches? When they contradict each other. I want them in a room BEEFING. LOL.
This plus putting all the ‘alpha males’ in the separate room. Let’s see who will ended up as the last one standing.
ELEGANT DEATHMATCH
I'm sorry to say I would spend a lot of time watching that - especially considering how aggressive some of them are underneath those soft fEMiniNe voices 😆😆
This comment was ghostwritten by a crow. The crow is right 😂👌🏻
That would be a brilliant reality show 😂 let us poor and tacky people sit back and have a good laugh 😅
I was raised by a mother whose mom was related to presidents and was debutante and a grandmother who had a French governess. What all these woman taught me is that classy is being respectful, polite and treating everyone the same no matter where they come from. And that Elegant is an attitude.
💯❤️
It was drilled into us in our lessons that the highest rule in etiquette was to make others comfortable. You don’t point out any problems unless it’s discreetly and protects them from embarrassment. True etiquette makes others feel comfortable in your presence, because to make others feel uncomfortable, unwelcome, or less than is POOR etiquette
Hmmmmm interesting. Social media’s influence on consumers is real. Wow
Love this!! Being classy and elegant doesn't look a certain way, its a self-confidence and attitude. It's kindness and support. I was always taught that if I don't have anything good to say, don't say anything. I always try to stick to that with people I speak to and I always try to compliment people on something about them. Even just as I pay for my shopping I like to tell the cashier that I love her nails or jewellery etc. I love to see the smile on their face because I know how much it means to me if someone compliments something like that about me. It can make a bad day feel so much better! That's class to me.
@@IronWangCreates I think this makes sense and that it is good to make people comfortable and not embarrass others in public.
We as women also need to be very careful to not let this come at the expense of our own comfort, which is unfortunately very common since afabs are p much all taught to always be pleasant, never raise a big fuss, don't talk over others like boys are free to do, etc. When we prioritize this too heavily for others' comfort, it minimizes ourselves, and we do not want that. Always make sure to stand up for your own needs in a respectful and calm way
It isn't elegant to judge people 🤷♀️💁♀️
Exactly! Being a snob is the opposite of elegance
.!
💯
So true
Yes! It isn't elegant to tell people they aren't elegant 😂
A lot of their ideals of elegance seem to be rooted in classicism, racism and colonialism.
Louder for the ppl in the back, pls!
Ding ding 🛎️
Yup. The elegance/quiet luxury/old money trends are rooted in WASPy ideals that see other cultures and practices as uncivilized and tacky without analyzing why
And sexism!
@@dovestone_Yes!
Who made her a judge of elegance? She needs to look in the mirror, this behaviour is the antithesis of elegance. Judging people is gauche.
I honestly think it's nearly impossible for elegance to exist in content creation. Unless the content you make is literally just recording ballet dancers
So tacky and tasteless. Elegance and judgement don't mix, that sneer isn't exactly becoming on her.
Robert I love your commentary, especially on the 2nd person.
I agree. IMO, she has the elegance thing all wrong. I've always felt that elegance is about being kind, respectful and thoughtful.
@@peakdelvalle197 I think it would work if it was like "how I style myself elegantly" and only referring to themselves while not putting down others you know? But telling people what to wear or what not to wear is the opposite.
Oddly enough, I always assumed truly elegant woman kept their rude/judgmental opinions to themselves.
absolutely, i think someone elegant is someone who is kind and assertive, never judgemental or passive aggressive
im ded not elegant by my own definition but oh well
Exactly! Far be it from me to define what "elegance" and "class" is but I always thought it meant that you did your best to make others around you comfortable. You're not supposed to judge people or embarrass them.
I love that she said "dont buy in Zara" yet more than one royal has rocked a Zara outfit. She has no clue what elegance is.
The beautiful Heart Evangilista has everything from couture to Zara in her closet! To me she personifies elegance through her manner
And also rocked Converse!
I have seen several "elegance" videos, and all of them use photos of brown and black girls to show "not elegant". One of them was a catalog photo of the most gorgeous wedding sari I have ever laid eyes on
Wedding saris are beautiful! And Indian ladies look so lovely and graceful in them. And elegant!
That’s not even subtle, that’s like straight up blatant racism. That’s insane, wedding sari’s r GORGEOUS
Was it implying that Europeans shouldn't imitate 'Black and Brown girls' in a manner of not culturally appropriating?
@@howareyoualiveifyoudonteatbeefno. How sweet of you to attempt to play devils advocate.
@@howareyoualiveifyoudonteatbeef I wish that was the intention. But alas no
I hate someone saying I'm not "elegant" based on their standards. Like do what you want, but don't make someone else feel bad because they wear colorful makeup, or whatever. I can be elegant in all black, dark makeup...like Morticia! 🖤🖤🖤
Morticia is the definition of dark elegance ❤
@@Cancionera40this is literally true, if we define elegance by finishing school-type standards. A refined ("finished") lady is elevated to a different class. Aside from the rule that criticising others is ungraceful, there's just no logical reason a "lady" would tell someone they are not following the rules they do. It's like the CEO of a company telling an entry-level employee their leadership and management skills need work.
The mentality is that you are superior to others- but you never say so out loud. You look down on others nonverbally with the way you carry and conduct yourself. Your words must be gracious even though your attitude is condescending and judgemental 🤐
Morticia is the perfect example of grace, elegance, and refinement btw 🫶🏻
They would be so mad if *everybody* adopted their brand of elegance too . These are just people that want to police others looks , just elitist and usually lack an understanding of sociology and style 😂
Different people living in different places have such different ideas of what elegance is. And some people just don't care about elegance. I live in Finland on the countryside and most of the time I look like I just grabbed the warmest and outside-friendly clothes I could😂 But I can allso dress up and look elegant as hell. Jewerly and a nice dress, makeup done.
The funniest thing to me about these 'elegance influencers' is that their whole vibe is basically just 'cosplay rich' which is laughable if you've seen how many ACTUAL rich people dress.
So who exactly is this meant to cater to? 😂
So true, this is the wannabe rich “pick me”
Yes, exactly. I work at a bank and the people who actually have money don’t need to tell me ‘cause they know I can see it, and they always seem to drive the shittiest cars + dress like I do on the weekends.
people who are trying to level up in life but have no examples growing up in normal and ghetto areas
It's hilarious cus I know a guy whose loaded. He's always worked "on the frontline" with his workforce, he built his business up from nothing. He's got one heck of a work ethic and he's charming and he knows how to talk to people. He's really diplomatic and carismatic. I say this with all the respect in the world, but he dresses like a Nirvana band member. Cus of the nature of his job (it's very messy) he dresses in very cheap clothes cus they just get ruined. He does not drive a fancy car and has a very low opinion about people who do. You would never even have the vaguest inkling looking at him that he was utterly loaded.
Wannabes!!!😂😂😂😂
Robert, to me, your demeanor IS the best example of what elegance is. You’re always so kind and thoughtful when presenting your takes on things.
Yes!!!!
My Mother always taught me if someone keeps saying they are something, like”I am elegant and classy,” they usually ARE NOT. They are just trying to convince people and themselves and think saying it enough will make it true.
Mom is a wise lady.
Jackie's response to Level Blue was a real-world example of elegance and class
I'm not a fan of Jakckie by any means but that answer was brilliant.
@@Haghenveienwhy not? I’m genuinely curious?
Lol i find it funny when that lady said "wearing black makes you look invisible" but mean while all goths/emo/alternative people who do this literally get stares everwyhere lol!
I've often found they (the Goths or Punks) are also the ones who rush to help the old person back up if they fall in the middle of the shopping mall or street.
@@hellsbells8689 The alt crowd have big hearts.
We’re softies.
Signed,
A goth chick
@@deltasaves Yes you are. My family are all into rock music. Some of us are old enough to be 1980s/90s Goths. All are beautiful, caring people. 🖤💜🖤💜🖤
if black makes people look "invisible" then people who ask for photos of me on the streets, all my h@rr@ssers and st@lkers, and all the people who ask me out frequently do not exist lmao
the concept of an "alt gf/goth gf" is popular for a reason
These elegant coaches are just hiding behind made-up rules to justify their pick me personalities.
And make money off desperate women.
100% 👏🏼
No there hiding behind society standards that's all Christians did that it's all on them
Robert's lowkey looks of disgust when he looks at the videos is sending me. What a mood.
I love his grumpy expression! It’s wonderful.
I love when Robert is trying so hard to be mindful and demure (cause he's not a piece of shit) but then his face gives away what he really wants to say 😂😂 he is so unintentionally hilarious
I think elegant people are the ones who make the room feel safe when they walk in. Always warm, welcoming and inclusive. Making everyone feel at ease is the most elegant you can be in my opinion.
❤
Level Blue is selling a dream she herself hasn’t attained, because I assure you she captures no one’s attention in a crowded room. When you’re vapid, dogmatic, and haughty, elegance goes out the window.
😂 man
I've only seen her from this video and she wreaks of someone who is painful to be around and constantly ruining the mood.
I absolutely cackled when she suggested she could teach elegance to people. Ma’am. Ma’am. You’re wearing curtains.
I think it's the first time I've seen the word vapid in UA-cam comments. I'm here for it and thank you. 😊
@@khills 🤣🤣🤣 This made me spit out my tea.
As someone who had to undergo “charm” classes at school (very posh school), it has never-ever-been mentioned that your pajamas need to be of a specific fabric, or how you must look, etc. It was always about how to respond to certain circumstances (e.g., don’t put your dirty shoes on the table where people are eating) and, most importantly, to be confident and to be respectful of others and their choices-unless that choice hurts others and themselves.
this feels like seeing tradwives without husbands 💀
Perfect description 😂
Omg that’s a perfect explanation!
Just talking wayyyy too much
😂😂😂🎉
BRO YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD LOL
The “not elegant” nose job is what my real nose looks like. Guess it’s time to get a nose job so I can look elegant and acceptable 🥴
As someone who went to a school where I had compulsory etiquette, elocution AND deportment lessons (and handwriting and poetry reciting. No this was not the 1800s), I get so personally mad at these because they are wrong almost 90% of the time
I’m curious! What are they wrong about?
"We don't try to impress people"
"Here's a huge list of ways for people to notice you"
As the daughter of a very southern woman, being ladylike was pounded in my head. It took me till my mid40's to learn that my opinion matters and it's ladylike to speak up for yourself
If ur a lady and that’s what you like, it’s ladylike. Glad ur unlearning the stuff that ur not vibing w bb!!
Gosh, I was pounded with being responsible for everything and everyone else in my family...so when I had my own, I was the same..its taken to my 60's after looking after and doing for everyone else all my life, to finally discover ME!! I'm a person, I want some things, I want some care, I want to do something else other than look after others!! So now I do what I want for a change, I wouldn't do anything to hurt others, but I'm no longer grovelling to everyone else either!!
I live in the deep south and "ladylike" behavior is nowhere to be found. 😂
@@Shlee1025We must be too "poor" to even know that crowd 😂 bc I don't see it around me either lol
@@lynettefinnigan9540yup yup. It’s keep sweet in new packaging.
I’ve always just asked myself, “What would Audrey Hepburn do?” She was genuinely, naturally elegant, whether she was wearing Givenchy on the silver screen or jeans and a button-down while cradling a child on a UNICEF tour. She was incredibly kind to everyone around her, even when she was dying of cancer. When she died, I waited for the “dirt” to come out about her. The only story was that when she was filming My Fair Lady, she’d been taking singing lessons for months to prepare (after she’d told them they should cast Julie Andrews). She came in one day and they told her they were going to dub her singing. She lost her temper and stormed off the set, leaving everyone gobsmacked. The next day she returned and apologized to everyone in the production, from her fellow cast members to all of the crew. I think she brought food, too.
Also, women in the 1950s and 60s were drop-dead elegant, and they were wearing blue eyeshadow, lol.
AND as a teenager she worked with the Dutch resistance during WWII (IIRC). She was the kind of person we can all learn something from!
There are some reels with her singing and it was great. I don’t know why they dubbed it. She did a fantastic job.
Audrey Hepburn is the most beautiful woman in every way.
She was an amazing person this is such good advice both for turn out and for behaviour and choices generally!
Elegance has zero to do with clothing. There are many women who just carry themselves in a certain way that oozes elegance. They could wear a manky old cardigan and still appear elegant. It’s a trait I don’t think can be bought or learned, it’s just a natural kind of poise and demeanour some people possess and others don’t.
That’s my best friend. Massive anime fan and wears anime t-shirts, but you can tell she’s old money from the way she carries herself.
There is a huge difference between trying to help a person take better care of themselves, and being ignorantly judgmental about peoples life choices.
"You’re sitting here wearing this curtain like medieval top, let’s not be too judgmental"…lol😂100% agree😂😂❤❤❤❤
The funny thing is that it isn't even a medieval top, but a cheap interpretation of one. I think she would faint at the sight of a real piece of medieval clothing due to the colors and patterns present in even the clothing of commoners let alone the nobility.
@@peggedyourdad9560 For real, I was like ok this girl shops at Temu and Shein lol Then again, she did say elegant women don't wear "brands"?
Level Blue is like those people who try to tell us who are in our 30s to ditch everything that makes us happy because we are supposed to be boring and lame. 😂
This! She’ll have to fight me for my rainbow jack o’ lantern oodie!
Yes absolutely! Why does some rando on the internet get to decide when I'm too old for scrunchies and pigtails???
Omfg you're speaking to me right now I'm 33 and I'm sooo done with the "dress your age" comments it drives me mad!
To me, elegance and grace have far more to do with behavior than looks. I know women who are sweet, giving, fun people and they dress in head to toe goth and punk outfits, and other women who wear frilly dresses and follow the old money style of dress who are judgmental and spiteful. Elegance and class come from the heart, in my opinion 🖤
💯 Hear, hear. Very well said.
Yes fantastic 👍
yeeees!!! many “elegant” people end up being b***hes”🫣
I agree! Good manners are more important than anything, 100%
Totally agree! ❤❤❤
As someone with actual etiquette training (which was great fun, our teacher was a hoot) I can tell you these people have no idea wtf are talking about. The first principle of etiquette is knowing how to behave appropriately in different situations/contexts. Don't apply "formal" etiquette when you're home alone or with family etc. That's bullshit. It's about reading the room, being polite and empathetic, and making sure your guests are comfortable or your hosts happy to have you. The main Ithing I took away from finishing school was "always be respectful and demand respect in turn".
Can you name where you got the etiquette training course? Becuase I would love to learn from a fun environment.
I grew up in an "old money" family (without the money). So many rules about what we shouldnt wear, talk like, appear, socialize with, etc. I remember I started doing my nails w designs and everyone judging me, even had a little intervention to see if I was ok. I was just happy and doing what I wanted, and truly didnt care if people thought it was tacky.
Not the family intervention for nail designs 😂 it's hilarious at first and then just sad I hope you were able to heal from that. Sometimes our families really believe it's what best for us they are just very misguided themselves
I wear t-shirts and jeans because I feel comfortable; yet I'm being called tacky by someone dressed as a tavern wench? I call that a win! Love your content, Robert!
Also levels of dressiness are very regional/cultural. I live in a very casual city. A lot of people will go about their day in athleisure or loungewear. People will get more dressed up but usually for nights out or special occasions, but even then never really "formal". People from out of town will get more dressed up and even though they look great, it still comes across as sort of goofy to the locals, like they're wearing a costume for a play or something.
Tavern wench 😂
@@JH-yj7kk This!! If anyone tried dressing "elegantly" in my area, people will likely look at you funny. When you live in an area of farmers, construction workers, etc., "dressing up" means a nice sweater and your "good" jeans. Unless, of course, it's a wedding or something, but even then, I've been to camo weddings in the woods...
@@JH-yj7kk also, this might just be a bias because of where I live, but it's so funny when that woman said that "wearing pastels and beige helps you stand out". I literally live in a country where most women I see dress in beige and pastels, black clothing is surprisingly less easy to find here (and is sometimes pricier too for some reason), so wearing an elegant black outfit will definitely make you stand out a lot more (at least in my country)
"dressed as a tavern wench" is hilarious and true 😂
I’m getting Charlotte Tilbury vibes. I’ll always remember her going off about how her husband has never seen her out of her makeup because that’s not classy (darling). You go to sleep in makeup, wake up when the man has fallen asleep, take the makeup off and wake up early to put it back on. Just this facade of perfection 24/7. I’m also getting “classic French woman”. You know that stereotype.
I’ve heard that about her. And all of her “darling” this and that. She seems incredibly fake.
This is part of the reason why I’ll never buy her stuff. Why financially support someone who is promoting harmful ideals like that 🤦🏾♀️
@@LP-ct9nk I hate it but I can’t find a dupe for Pillow Talk so I’m left using it. Using it as I’m I get birthday samples or use my Sephora points for it. So, using girl math, it’s free and I’m not paying her for it.
I940s & 50s behavior. Thought we'd progressed past that smh.
Totally Mrs. Maisel vibes! Didn't save her marriage, tho'...
Elegant people carry themselves with confidence. An elegant person could wear trash and look fantastic. No judgement!!
Just what I was going to comment. If you can't look elegant wearing black, you're not elegant. Conversely, putting on a beige pantsuit will not magically elevate you. Many of the most classically "elegant" designer pieces from Dior, Chanel, etc. are black. 😂
Exactly. Its also inelegant to judge other people wholly on your own personal aesthetic. And to even care what pajamas they're wearing to bed? Come on, now 🤦♀️
Lol hey now, I can't wear black with my skin tone, I look like a corpse 😂@@LunarEleven
@@kitkatbar996there are shades of black-either bluish or reddish, more gray to deep black. You might look at that-you have to put the garment in sunlight to see it well. You might find a shade of black you can wear. And you can use a colored scarf, jacket, etc to separate you from the black.✌️♥️
100%, I couldn’t agree more. Just like beauty itself, elegance comes from your demeanor not just a “look.”
So are WOC supposed to wear a pink or nude lip liner that does not match their skin tone in any way, just to appear elegant? Definitely racially motivated.
You can find the shade that flatters your skin tone
@@sarah37452 darker lip liners are what matches our skin tone. Especially considering a lot of WOC naturally have lips that look lined/ two toned.
Personally, I love browns, purples and black on dark skin tones. It looks less overdone than on pale skin and can be super elegant.
@@sarah37452 It's not that easy . I'm light olive and I can't find a nude lipstick that matches my skin tone, because my lips are pigmented and lipstick looks greyish without brown liner, I can't even imagine how dificult it is for WOC.
I wear brown lip liner and nude lipstick to match my skin tone
The type of insidious racism that specifically white women are very adept at. They're not waving white supremacy flags, they just covertly and very sweely excluding black women from their definition of womanhood or femininity.
Is she for real saying black is NOT elegant?! It’s probably one of the most elegant colors!!!! IMO of course
Honestly, the way Jackie came back to that lip lining "elegance tip" was (to me) the most beautifully elegant thing I've witnessed. What a hero. So up front, direct, educational, and passionately protecting her culture. That's elegance ❤.
Robert taking no prisoners or judgemental attitudes, too, brings me so much joy!
❤
And absolutely stunningly beautiful. I was clapping at my phone like I was just sitting here watching her live at a a TED Talk.
I loved that. ❤
Ikr She’s much more elegant than that so-called elegance coach✨️
"They do not look very elevated" Good gods woman, I'm going to bed not attempting to become one with the cosmos.
“When did women stop taking care of their hair and styling it properly?” LADY you KNEW you would be filming this video with that line in it and you STILL left your hair down.
"Cartoons aren't elegant " 🙃 my Ponyo hoodie and I are plenty elegant.
That's right baby, you rock that hoodie!
This sound likes like best sleep over ever!
Ponyo mentioned ❣️
Ponyo says fuck your elegance, wheres the ham
Level Blue sounds like an MLM tier😂
Also, do NOT come after my Converse!!
We can only hope that one day she makes it to Level Mauve. I've heard that's the stfu level 😂
One of my all time favourite looks is a good fitting pair of jeans, a flattering plain white t shirt and classic white converse!!! I think it is a simple and very classy everyday look that works for all ages! How dare she 😂
The subtext of these types of messages is one of bigotry and classism. Robert, you were spot-on when you made the comparison with "alpha male" videos. They're both of the same utterly backwards line of thinking. Women like me who do blue collar work, we can have our own type of elegance and no one else gets to tell us how to define that for ourselves.
Me, watching this while splitting wood.
Hannah Louise Poston did a video on elegance and the advice was like… listen to whoever you are with and be present in their company. That’s elegance!
Love her!
Beautiful!
SAY IT ROBERT! Black folks and latine folks are incredibly responsible for many trends and seriously appreciate you calling this out up front.
Elegance is the ballroom scene in Anastasia, if you're not hallucinating dancing to ghostly music with dead, Russian royalty then it's just playing dress up I don't make the rules
Manners can be taught, style can be refined but "elegance" is more a state of being, a type of charisma. Here's a wonderful quote by the director Billy Wilder about the gloriously elegant Audrey Hepburn: "What Audrey Hepburn had, you couldn’t teach, you couldn’t even learn it. God kissed her on the cheek and there she was."
This eye look is PURE ELEGANCE!!! 😍
But those eyelashes need some serious help. They keep trying to escape!
Follow up: He posted a video of the look on his makeup channel! YAY!!!
15:50 - yikes! In general, so much of "elegant" and "manners" content is eurocentric, classist, and racist.
Yep!!! I cannot stand those “elegant coaches” because they don’t see or care how problematic these “tips” are. Also very ableist as well.
I agree with you, but I will say that I do see a fair amount of white/fair-skinned people trying to copy this tip without understanding the reasoning behind it and looking off as a result. The way this lady presented it is still very racist though due of her using black women as examples and not clarifying further.
There's nothing inherently "racist" with what these women are demonstrating, much the same way that a black MUA will most likely cater their artistic style to that of darker skinned individuals and not white people, or if you're looking at hair care and the content creator is black, their regime will most likely be directed at ethnic hair. People are taking this way too personal.
it's literally just WASP. Leave us be?
@@raenoway It's meant to be old-fashioned that is the point. It's based on WASPs we mostly mind our own business.
Robert calling out the Andrew Tates of the world AND holding woman accountable for their outdated, misogynistic ideas just makes my heart happy 💜 I didn’t think I could love this man anymore than I already do 👏
Isn’t he a treasure! ☺️
Yep our Robert is right on the button¡
Same
Robert is very professional and constructive when it comes to critiquing and never downright insults someone. So even a subtle shade like "medieval outfit" is a rare occasion. She must really get on his nerves.😂
Your eyelook here with the Wednesday collar has my entire goth heart. Also, love that we see you repeat outfits like a real and normal person.
Look, lady. I'm trying to become a doctor. I don't have time to be doing a fancy updo or perfectly styling my natural waves every day, so a ponytail with a cute hairtie it is.
As a goth woman and archaeology major, I second this, I don't have the energy to get dressed up every day. I'm just trying to get through college and worry about my own self
Bet she wouldn’t give af if her doctor wasn’t elegant 😹🙌 or better not, saving her life geeze
@@kenziemayrae3568 doctor of pharmacy, but your pharmacist can still save your life being the last line of defense to catch mistakes with your prescriptions
And I bet you look so classy and beautiful while you're working your ass off ❤
The day I will try to impress with pajamas instead of being comfortable is the day I'll know I went crazy
In my opinion Jackie Aina was more elegant in her video - clothing, background, hair, makeup - than the "elegance instructor" 😁
On another note: why the heck do they alway use pastel colours? I have dark-blond hair, green-brown eyes and I'm white. So I guess to be elegant I should look like a corpse? Pastel colours and me don't go hand in hand and I like black.
Are you too the color of wall paste? 😂 My mother was from the South and there were some things she was very intent on having for her daughters, including our personal color palette built on our “season.” For a good two years of my tweens, she only bought me icy, pale, pastel clothing, because one of those know your color companies convinced her I was a cool winter. 🙄🙄🙄 Even makeup - bright blue eyeshadow and frost pink lips!
No wonder, decades later, I refuse to give up my goth clothes and stark makeup. 😂
@@khills nooo, i didn't go to this color analyzis stuff, so nothing so serious. I just don't wear light nude colours, pale pinks and pale yellows, because I know they don't look good on me.
@@khills kind of interesting because while pastels fall in the cool winter palette, usually theres a focus on darker colours. Honestly, black and goth aesthetic fit it perfectly since its so highy contrast lol(Not that you have to follow any rules ofcourse, i think its more a guideline for people who want that, but i thought it was interesting your mom came to that conclusion)
I'm white, with red hair and hazel eyes, and pastels, creams, beiges, and tans make me look like a corpse. Creams and pastels look amazing on some people, but definitely not on me!
beige too. Beige is so awful.
The first elegance tutorial lady is so funny. In my part of the world, any type of cosmetic surgery-nose jobs, fillers, even microblading-is considered over-the-top and inelegant/trashy. Which just proves these fixed ideas of elegance are all bunk! Everything is subjective!
Yes it’s cracks me up them accusing some peoples makeup or surgery and modifications as not elegant and they all have work done and surgeries that are very noticeable and botched 😂
No one is taking my black clothing, blue jeans and T-shirts away from me, if I'm "not seen" or "forgetable" they aren't worth my time, judging me baised on clothing rather then personality or talent.
Plus being an introvert I don't generally want the attention anyway.
"I'm not saying she looks terrible. ... Apart from that top" that got me 😂😂
5:32 this one always gets me! Who is judging my pj's. I am sleeping in them! I don't want all the fuss. The pomp and circumstance to literally toss and turn. If you have a partner who is judging how elegant your sleepwear is, maybe rethink your romance choices.
Pj's are me!
i sleep in my jeans 😭
She's right, the pajamas she showed are not "elegant", but she's just telling me why striving to be constantly elegant is pointlessly stressful and not something you do for yourself, but for others. If you wouldn't wear soft, comfy cotton PJs because you won't look elegant while you are SLEEPING you have a psychological issue and a silk nightgown will not fix it.
@@kai_maceration lol my bf does that, he said he needed new PJs so I got him comfy pajama pants 3 wks ago... He's still sleeping in jeans 🥲 I slept in jeans and sneakers in highschool, now I can't handle denim even while awake. Pajama jeans are great tho!
@@LunarEleven i think for me i don't like flowy loose stuff, i prefer the support jeans give me like soft armor, so i feel protected sleeping in them lol
For me, it is a sensory issue. I am very particular about what touches my body. But, again, I am sleeping, so who am I being elegant for? Me?
If I was dating, I wouldn't want to date someone who put so much emphasis on what I sleep in. That is not the right person for me.
All these "tips" remind me of the 1930s newspaper articles telling women how to be a good wife... "don't talk too much, be mysterious, smile all the time, blablabla"
Sounds exhausting!😮💨😩
I have one simple skincare rule. If you have an allergic reaction stop using it.
First, love Jackie Aina. Gorgeous and her makeup is flawless. I watch a lot of black beauty creators because their content is just more interesting. They seem to be quite expert at how to use color for their skin tones and I’m here for it. I tried the lip liner trick and laughed so hard because with my lack of coloring it was ridiculous. But it was an easy fix.
Elegance is not a blunt instrument you use to beat people up with, it’s an air of confidence and internal beauty that just emanates from within. Sis got it all wrong! 😂
This is more like ✨how to cosplay as a rich middle aged white lady✨
There's really no need to bring ageism into this.
@@Rye_Toast🙄
@@Rye_Toast do you know what ageism is????
Naw, that's a bob, tweeds, a wax jacket, rubber boots and a large dog.
@@starlinguk😂😂😂
most of these are so classist, ableist, sexist and racist. I'm autistic and I need comfortable clothes. and besides from that, I don't care for being seen as elegant or fashionable, and if I wanted to I couldn't even afford it.
Same here, some textures are a problem for me.
Yes! I have chronic pain and autonomic dysfunction. I need comfortable, sweat-wicking clothes that are easy to layer. I'm also 47 and hot flashes are starting, so I'll be damned if I'm wearing silk to bed. Usually I just wear undies with some of the same sweats and Tshirts I wear most days nearby in case the puppy needs to go out at night.
You guys need to realize that none of these women are sincere. They are content farmers.
You can't "hold them accountable" because they don't have principles or beliefs. They are walking algorithms.
"She loves a green screen, by the way...." 😂 I snorted.
I will say these elegance coaches are adhering to very eurocentric standards of "elegance". We're in a multicultural society, babes.You're absolutely right. The person she's pointing out as "not elegant" might not even had a nose job or lip fillers!
THANK YOU for calling these videos and trends out! So many of these ‘elegant lessons’ videos are just perpetuating misogyny and racism towards Black, Brown, Asian, Indigenous, Eastern European, etc. women and it’s making beauty standards more toxic than they already are.
Fucking PREACH- I never made the alpha male connection, and that is so accurate. Louder for the ones in the back- damn.
"I went to finishing school 💅"
Seems like someone should have her tuition refunded.
lol! I actually did go to finishing school, as part of my education, and I can tell you most of advice is nonsense! Elegance has very little do with your PJs and more about how to attend a white tie dinner and rules around gloves and tiaras (I’m not even joking)
@iloveyouovid My understanding was that it's all about the often complicated etiquette surrounding attending/hosting events and such, as you described. Stuff that rich kids should know and wouldn't necessarily learn elsewhere. Not so much... microblading eyebrows and developing a weird vendetta against cartoon pajamas, lol.
@@unseeliej exactly that! It was tedious and largely useless. I dress like a hobo most days 🤣
@@iloveyouovidI’ve never even heard about finishing schools until this video. Why did you go? Did your parents make you? What was it like?
@@xuanzhencatthey were where privileged girls went to finish their education in the old days.
11:08 she’s literally wearing my nana’s bed skirt. Except my nana has the sense to know that navy blue looks better and more expensive than royal blue. That weird shiny fabric is not helping.
The terms “high value man/woman” also bother me because they emphasize a person’s material wealth versus other important attributes
The brown lip liner with gloss is really pretty! It’s like a cleaner lip tint look.
Right? Jackie literally swiped those products on in seconds, and she looked absolutely stunning. It defined the natural shape of her lip and looked really... elegant!
finally someone is talking about this! people can be elegant in their own ways and i'm tired of pretending there is only one singular standardized way to be elegant, which i've seen a lot. also, when they try to sell "elegance courses," seems kinda gimmicky in the exact way those awful alpha male courses are.
i can totally understand the point about not wearing polyester bc it’s sucks and makes you sweaty (as someone who’s favourite pyjamas are a 100% cotton set from tesco that i bought for £9) but to go straight to silk pyjamas is a massive leap
I practically live in jeans and sneakers! It's called comfort! But I can dress up "elegantly" when and if I choose to.
I'm comfortable in my own skin so it doesn't matter what I'm wearing or if my hair is in a messy bun
You are looking supremely elegant in this video Robert
Jackie Aina's response was the epitome of elegance
She is STUNNING on top of it
Most of these influencers just use "elegant" as a stand in for the word white. So much of this weird version of femininity is wrapped up in whiteness which is why even women who follow all the rules and are gorgeous still aren't elegant or feminine if they aren't white.
It’s almost like her definition of elegance is not being black 😐….
It is the unstated, obvious racism for any non-white groups. Or anyone that likes to have fun.
That’s the vibe I get from her.
Yeah a lot of these “elegance” rules and lifestyles come from WASPy cultures that think anything outside of them is uncivilized and tacky
Can you please stop associating negative traits with black people? Jesus
The only person associating negative traits with black peoples or minorities are all these “elegance coaches” who make it a point to have most if not all their DONT examples come from these groups, because a lot of old money/quiet luxury/“elegant” ideals stem from WASPy rules and subcultures where the standard is western Eurocentric ideals of beauty. It’s a feature not a bug with people who promote this lifestyle and OP is within her rights to point out the obvious
The genuine beef with that blue medieval top is sending me! 😂
I had minor etiquette training when i was a kid (fine dining, posture, greeting, cursive handwriting, etc) and I’ve gotta say. What are they smoking and can I get some, because what they are describing is by no means elegant! Elegance is hardly how one looks. I was always taught that actions were the most important thing in etiquette. Sure, my tutor expected us to be decently well-groomed and clean, but that wasn’t the main goal. And a racist, classist attitude is not elegant in the slightest.
It really boils my blood when these women are out here calling cultural wear and certain types of makeup inelegant. I don’t know about you, but I’ve met so many really commanding, beautiful and elegant black women who were so polite and graceful…they moved with purpose and you could tell they had a quiet, unspoken confidence that most don’t have. And let me tell you, I can’t imagine calling a sari not elegant! Saris to me are so freaking gorgeous and their draping,,the way women move in them,,the most elegant!
Elegant is an attitude. NOT a singular look. What these so-called coaches are describing is an aesthetic of whiteness steeped in what they think the upper class whites dress like.
there’s definitely an element of classism being enforced by these ‘elegant’ classifications… they keep using examples of less expensive looks or procedures as the ‘less elegant’ version and it definitely links back to the idea of old and new money - these little things which are ‘supposed’ to key people in on their class
Level Blue contradicts herself so much, I haven’t seen this level of hypocrisy in so long.
Elegance culture is so performative to me. And the fact that so much of it is based on disparaging other woman's choices is very inelegant. It also brings back memories of my mom nagging me throughout my life. She is neither an elegant woman nor was she preaching elegance culture like these grifters but she had similar ideas about how women should look and behave and it all centered on this idea that someone is always looking at you and therefore you need to act and look a certain way all the time. I hate the idea that you always have to be "on". Can't even wear your super soft 10 year old Spongebob t-shirt in the comfort of your own home cuz what would Martha from 3 houses over think??!?!
Lmfao Robert about Level Blue, “I’m not saying she looks horrible- outside of that top.” 😂
LOVEEEEE THIS. Elegance coaching is the pipeline to divine feminine is the pipeline to gender essentialism is the pipeline to housewife/homestead core is the pipeline to tradfem tradwife is the pipeline to extremist alt right politics. This is not a joke, this is literally established and can be googled “tradwife to alt right pipeline” and it explains more. Also I think it’s Intexual or one of the other analysis UA-camrs has a video up about the pipeline and how it works too. All of this “feminine coaching” is not about teaching you how to be a smart, self sufficient, and well-kept woman. It’s grifters trying to profit off of your insecurity (related to wealth, beauty, or lack of education) and scam you out of money while calling it “education.” Genuine etiquette skills and tips are great - but what’s NOT great or genuinely helping anyone are the “access your divine feminine” or “elegant woman do this vs that” aka “how to be better than other women and push other women down to boost yourself up” aka “how to conform into strict gender roles in order to maintain the status quo and socially punish those who don’t.” It’s also class propaganda and elitism, elegance is reserved for the rich and as Robert says, even if that one lady says “anyone can be elegant, you can look elegant without money” - then why are you photoshopping yourself into more “luxurious” backgrounds? It’s about upholding the idea the rich = superior and aspirational. And if we want to be totally honest about the way the “true elite” / 1% views “elegance” then The true elite idea of elegance is “if you don’t come from at least 6 generations of millionaires/billionaires then you are new money and thus trashy no matter how you look or what your manners are.” Anyway, my rant is just that it’s anti-feminist and elitist and cannot ever be separated from those two things. Oh and racist! Because elitism is inherently racist as well.
As someone who has a family member who gave me some similar tips growing up… this makes me feel sick. This is so damaging to young impressionable girls.
Things I was told as I child that have taken me years to unlearn:
- it’s a hair ‘do’ not a hair ‘don’t’ (aka you have to style your hair everyday, pony tails and buns are for lazy people)
- always leave the house in matching underwear because if you’re in a car accident or otherwise the doctors are going to judge you if they don’t match
- you only have one opportunity at a good first impression so always dress to impress
Just. No.
Since when is a ponytail tied with a pretty scarf or velvet ribbon not elegant? My vintage scarves and I will just have to disagree, lol.
The unmatched underwear got me 😂. As if the medical staff cares. Younger, i have just been taught not to wear underwear or sock with holes, you'll never know what happens.
I only ever heard the clean underwear one, and only as a joke. EMS ain't looking at your underwear.
“Can you be elegant and poor Level Blue? Can you be elegant and on regular wage Level Blue?” 👏 I am so here for the sass!
No I was watching one and said you cant run for the bus if your elegant! Or eat outside, unless it’s a fancy picnic! Like coffee and cake in the park is my happy treat! stop draining the joy out of the world!!!
@@Acehigh-Jenkinsunless it’s a fancy picnic???? Omg??? Can one never go to a cute little cafe and sit outside then??? I’d argue there’s no difference than a fancy picnic rlly.
@@kaykeunil yes you can go to a cafe! But god forbid you sit on a bench with a to-go cup and sandwich! You’ll b shunned!
Her saying "teenagers dress like that, you"re an adult" is literally the kind of thing an insecure teenage girl would say
There is a huge difference between fashion advice and education vs shaming. I enjoy fashion theory in the same way, I enjoy makeup education! Marketing your talents as a stylist in helping people figure out clothing etiquette for an event or finding an Aesthetic is awesome, marketing “elegance” is really making money off insecurity . It’s weird .
"throughout these persons ..uhh... videos" 🤣🤣 very diplomatic and kind of you to say; I definitely had other words in my mind
Speaking as someone who did 4 years of cotillion and got the director’s award… the pinnacle of class, elegance, good manners, polite society etc. is ensuring the comfort of whomever you’re with. Aka NO JUDGING or holding weird rules over their heads!!
Robert, totally unrelated to this video, but have you ever done a video on how to do corrective make-up? Not just like making a nose or chin look smaller or eyes look bigger, but correcting uneven eyes or lips. Having Bells Palsey made me have to relearn how to apply make-up and there are hardly any tutorials on these things.
That was quite an elegant clap back from Jackie that she 100% deserved 😂😂
8:58 love that she comes out and says that this "elegant" behavior is a near-impossible tightrope for women to walk, but it's okay! you can learn how by giving her money!