I'ma be real... Mom's nervous breakdown was probably the only thing that made the brother finally see reality. That kid was NEVER going to break until his One True Enabler broke.
I think about stories like this a lot because I feel like most kids see their parents "break" in much smaller and healthier ways and learn boundaries. I think I was like... 3 or 4, when I first saw my mom cry? And it occurred to me that she was upset the same way I was upset. And that simple reality of showing me her feelings was enough to teach some empathy. The way these parents made every single moment about the brother's wants over everyone else's needs was unsustainable, and core to his behavior. He literally believed he was owed being catered to in part because his mother subjugated every second of her "self" to his tiniest whim. This is NOT an excuse for their behavior, AT ALL, but it's worth noting that they're taking things away and acting like that as an extension of their own learned behavior. They give up anything he wants. He wants their food/book/tech object, he got it, probably from the moment he was born. So to the parents it wasn't "I'm going to be nasty to this one child" it was "we *all* have to sacrifice for the *special* child." Again, not an excuse, but it makes sense of why a parent could be this !nsane.
Yeah enabling him at every step caused this sh*t but glad he is learning it now. Also you are an awesome and great human being like you were able to grasp about empathy at that little age that something majority of the world doesn't have
I don't think that's true. I used to work in daycare and found most of the kids there were actually really sweet and empathetic to each other. My experience is that kids have to learn meanness and selfishness, not the other way around.
Kind of said she had to take over the role of parent for BOTH of his parents but she’s a real one. She also laid down the law the hardest at so many turns but the parents just wasn’t picking up what she put down. I don’t feel bad for the parents, just pity.
Not even the relatives I met because of my dyslexia. If the children with serious disabilities, at the center where I went for logotherapy, behaved incorrectly, they scolded them, or made them sit on a chair until they calmed down... Rules exist for everyone, disability or not...
Thing is, in that post, all the parent got was a stern talking to, and the kid, bore the brunt of the punishment, as if the parents, were punishing him, for their failures as well I could not find the bit, where the parents were made accountable for ''their'' behaviors, in a '' we need him to see us atone for our mistakes so that when we work with him to change his behavior and atone for it, he'll know that, what WE did was wrong, and what he did was wrong as well, as the result of how we raised and enabled him'' way Only that they went from fairy god mother to strict parents to the brother I am in no way advocating or condoning his behavior, but to go from your parents putting you on a platinum platter, to being harsh, when other adults, just ''talked'' to them, whilst in the past when they've been talked to had been different, and this time, they are going scorched earth on you... What worries me, is that the OP says his brother has ''that look'', and I think, that maybe the OP, if even him, would be safe from his brothers' retaliation, coz maybe now he is playing the long con.. or long game as they say...
As someone with autism: "having special needs" is a reason to make sure the kid has an appropriate IEP in school, or to explain why they behave in ways some people may consider odd, not a reason to allow the kid to run rampant and do whatever they want.
Not just that, I wish the parents don’t allow their kids because they’re either too busy to deal with them or saying because they’re sibling’s have to be a better sibling (they wanted them to be a babysitter over some with experience) which I couldn’t help but find it painfully yet neutrally pathetic
I am autistic myself and I was coddled a lot but I still work hard like the rest of my relatives I don’t understand why people use disabilities as a weapon to get what they want
I was diagnosed with a slight case of aspbergers syndrome when I was younger. My parents never told me, and I actually found out about the diagnosis by finding the brochures and paperwork in the back pocket of a car seat. My parents never told me because they knew it would give me a chance to use that as a crutch for school. I struggled with my entire life until mid-highschool, and now I am finally somewhat normal.
Because they get away with it. The same reason people can get away with levying false accusations and ruining someone's life. No consequences usually equals consistent, and escalating, bad behavior. Then they get Surprise Pikachu Face when they finally do encounter someone who won't tolerate it, or push until they find that hard boundary. I've known a few people like that in my 39 years of life and every time the situation plays out the same, sometimes there is a severe mental breakdown but that usually happens to either the really young children (Preteen) or adults over the age of 25. At least from what I have seen myself. Most teens, unless there are diagnosed or undiagnosed mental issues such as Autism or one of the variants on the spectrum, usually sulk or throw a mini tantrum until they realize no one cares then move on. Especially if such tantrums are clearly for show or are a regular occurrence. I do have a cousin with Asperger's and some of his outbursts are uncontrollable especially by himself so I do have some sympathy if the condition is severe enough. Otherwise I treat high functioning autists the same I would treat anyone else. Autism and hormones are NOT an excuse for shitty behavior.
@@prussianeagle1941 as in the 1 where you're rlly smart but you're not v comftable with ppl? (thats the main thing that I know about it) sry if i get it wrong in any way
Not only that but she straight up assaulted the child she herself enabled instead of sticking to the discipline; every child deserves good parents, but not every parent deserves their kid. I feel so bad for both of them. :/
Same, though I do feel like maybe part of the problem is the piss poor disability support in America. I wasn’t diagnosed over there, but when my mom found out my little brother and I were autistic, it was also explained to her exactly what that meant for us and how to best approach raising us, namely that we’d require more structure and very clear rules than the average kids. So she implemented that, and from how she described it we immediately improved our behavior. From how she described it, before the diagnosis she’d try to be the fun parent and make exceptions to rules sometimes, and it made us behave so miserably in general she was sometimes driven to physical violence much like the father in the story, but once she stopped doing that and really made it clear that these are the rules and I will no longer make exceptions, we started actually following the rules. I actually feel pretty bad for the brother, he was really set up for failure by the parents, because for the first 14 years of his life, the extremely clear and rigid rule was that he could do and have whatever his heart desired at any time without consequences, but that’s not how the world works so naturally when the parents started implementing real rules for the first time in his life at 14, he tried to resist and still follow the rule that had been true his entire life, leading to the absolute shit show at the end.
As shitty as this situation was, I am glad it seems like his brother and parents (barring his mom's breakdown) seemed to recognize their behaviors and had begun to change. Too many times you hear horror stories of this shit going on well into adulthood for the spoiled kid.
This coddling of the Autistic/neurodivergent child on these reddit is hella foreign to me🤨 I wasn't anywhere near spoiled, nor allowed anything similar to 'coddling' even if counselors or teachers specified different approaches were needed for me, my parents weren't having it. So, seeing the near monsters, these 'parents' are creating simply cuz they refuse be active parents is sad for the child and disgusting on their part, especially at the cost of alienation of previous/other children in the house.
Oh gosh there's a story on here where all the kids have autistic the oldest was forced to help with the younger cause apparently with each new child it was higher on the spectrum guess the idiot mother was hoping for a normal kid so that they could help out with the other kids 🤦♀️ don't remember much about that story except for the part mentioned would remember if heard it a few more times but only one channel covered it
It’s real. I worked in an agency for disabled people and this one client I had. Nightmare child in her 30s but the entitlement and sociopathic tendencies were I asked. How isn’t she locked up? I would wish she got better, but I know that’s not the truth. She is a literal demon
Sounds just like the story of the son whose parents made him let his sister blow out his candles before him. Exact same behavior, sister was a miracle baby and they spoiled her rotten to the detriment of their son. She threw fits if she didn’t get everything. They made him have his 18th birthday party at a Chuckie Cheese knockoff because his sister didn’t like his favorite restaurant and they didn’t want to deal with her tantrum, got him a pink birthday cake and he just broke down crying in the place. That was the day all the relatives decided to open their eyes and lay into the parents (even though they could see it all for years). Grandparents finally took in the son and grandpa got him an old truck, which the sister tried to destroy cause she didn’t get one (think she was around 12-13 at the time). It just blows my mind when parents treat one of the children like crap for the sake of the others. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites and if they do, they aren’t supposed to show it!
@@Tony.Dreamer sometimes autistic kids take a little longer to learn complex empathy and consequences past like, raw emotional anger and need for revenge against people who restrict us. I think I started to mellow out more at about 16-19 but I still have a spicy side. You really need to make sure they have positive friendships who hold them accountable for their behavior but in a compassionate way. It's often the only way we learn that it's possible to be both good natured AND strong, and keep friendships or support systems around without having to become a bully ourselves, especially if there is one parent with antisocial and narcissistic tendencies who teaches us wrong, while the other is trying their hardest to raise you to be relatively normal and well adjusted.
You know what? I don’t think he will. I think what happened at the end there has put the fear of God into him. If the mom never comes back, the brother is going to blame himself and be severely traumatized. That boy needs some therapy.
I am an autistic woman and the first of six kids, I was never coddled and my parents have had to go about how I contribute around the house. However I have always been held responsible for all my actions and I am appalled by the lack of accountability and lack of recognition of this kid’s fault in everything he’s done. 😐
I don’t get why OP has any contact with his parents or brother after turning 18. They made it painfully clear that they don’t love or care about OP; the only reason they apologized is because they’re afraid of losing their support network.
I do maybe. He probably wanted some inch of relationship with them when all his life after his brother was born, he was never part of their family of 3. But he still annoyed the hell out of me. More than the parents and brother. He shouldve stayed away and live on his own away from the toxicity. Either too nice, or just weak minded.
Because your brain doesn't automatically reset when you turn 18. All the shit your parents put in there is still there. You have to recognize it and root it out and that takes time.
@@poohbear4515 I get what you're saying. Honestly, I wish it were possible for humans to turn their love off like a light switch, so that fewer people would stay in contact with toxic jerks.
@@jamestown8398How can you even love someone who does bad by you?If my parents pulled any sh*t like that they would be more than welcome to spend the rest of their lives alone
This is why I don’t let bad behavior slide without calling it out in public where it does the most damage. It works every time. If someone is going to treat you like sh-t for no good reason, why on earth should they get away with it scot free. People will walk all over you if you let them, given the chance and lack or repercussions for their actions. Nope, I’m going after them any time they pull this. Who needs friends or family like that anyway? If they’ll do you dirty when no one is looking, they never loved you anyway. Or not enough if they do. They are usually looking out for themselves only in these situations-so don’t be mad when someone else comes back at you doing the same for themselves when no one else will for them in many cases 😂. Although OP’s aunt sounds like the OP, she’s gangster and I am here for it 😂. Good job auntie-look out for that kid!
These are the same kind of people who will make a reddit post somewhere down the line lamenting about how their kid wants nothing to do with them or his brother.
I have autism and take care of kids and adults with autism. This is just pure enablement the parents did. There were plenty of ways they could have corrected his behavior, but they chose not to. Now they have to live with what they created. That's completely on them. Teaching others to use their disability as a way of getting what they want is extremely toxic and what turns people against us.
Even Junior in both of the Problem Child movies had far more redeemable qualities, logic, commonsense, and a phucking heart than the brat. OP was living a nighmarishly harrowing inescapable hellscape.
Lol ohmygod, haven't heard that movie spoken of in ages!! Have you seen "Mikey"?? Another great oldschool movie that works as awesome birth control lol...yeah, if the kid is just "Problem Child" then there is hope, but if he's like "Mikey"...or "The Good Son"...or Damien from "The Omen" (!!😂) then sorry kid, I'm out, enjoy fostercare
A little of enforcing boundaries would have been good when he was a little kid to avoid this. High functioning means they didn't need to coddle him , they just used it as an excuse. It took an asswhooping for him to realize actions have consequences. I do think the kid hit mom. That was her low moment when she realized it was too late she couldn't stop him, she lost her mind I bet that kid will never raise a hand to them again after that asswhooping. CONSEQUENCES!!
Dude, this OP is awesome. He stayed humble and I'm happy his Aunt was there to help when he needed it. The parents are bad parents, and I'm definitely feeling like there might've been some generational stuff going on with the mother, maybe from her childhood or maybe just stuff she believes, whatever the case, shoot, she needs some help. The brother is absolutely entitled and isnt ok, but I'm glad that even though he misses the older life, it's finally gotten through to him that he can't just act like that, and acknowledged he was being a bad person. I mean, I'm never a fan when a parent physically punishes a child, I absolutely dont think it's necessary, but the bro here was halfway through his early teen years, that might've been the only wake up call that would've worked. That being said, yikes, that brother is also gonna need therapy just from the trauma he got there and from needing to learn this stuff far later than usual. One last thing I'll say, I got that the brother is autistic and stuff, and yeah, Autism is a mental disadvantage, and it does require extra help and new, other ways to solve issues. That being said, letting the kid get what he wants just because he's "special" feels ableist as hell. Yeah, he'll need some special help because he's got a mental disadvantage, but the fact that the parents never treated him like an actual kid, and went on to treat him like a God, it really shows you how they view autism. That in itself is really ableist. Yes, its absolutely true that not all autistic people experience autism the same way, thats absolutely true, but saying that BECAUSE he's autistic, it means he can't be treated the same way, thats not cool man, and it really portrays an awful idealization on other Autistic folks. Any how, I really hope this family and OP get some help and can improve.
Cant they find a counsiler or association to help and teach parents how to handle an autistic child and what is the limit between understanding and spoiling an autistic child based on the level of autism the child has?? So sad for OP. Fortunatly he was not alone.
As a high functioning autist, I can say the best thing for me was not being formally diagnosed until I was in college. We all just thought I was 'weird' so my parents pushed me extra hard to be normal. I'm not normal but I'm at least a functional adult for it. The real world does not give you breaks for being 'different'. It will come for you just like everyone else and you better be tough and ready for it.
Notice after the butt whooping he did a instant life assessment asking how much of a bad person he was and what is like to be an adult if the parents treated him like a normal kid from birth , They would have had none of these problems 🤷
Honestly there is a difference between corporal punishment and abuse and people need to stop demonizing the first. Kid is lucky his dad did it and not the first police officer with a gun who finds him throwing a temper tantrum for not being allowed to rob an old lady.
Good for you for standing up for yourself! Canceling your birthday just to cater to your brother is so unfair, and it’s clear they didn’t expect you to take matters into your own hands. Sometimes parents don’t realize the impact of their actions, especially when they favor one child over another. Telling your friends at school was a bold move, and it clearly showed your parents how much their decision hurt you. Hope you had an amazing birthday after all-you deserve it!
That last update nearly broke because to some extent I could relate. Seeing what your action lead to and potentially spiraling and destroying of one self image is both eye opening and soul crushing. Even if you feel no sympathy for the mother’s action that doesn’t justify her mental breakdown, I only wish it didn’t have to be this way. My condolences to OP family, hopefully his mother, father, and brother come out for better in the end
Not to minimize the value of OP or his brothers life; but those parents should have never had kids. Unfortunately no one ever thought to remove those kids from their custody. Kudos to the Aunt, but also sorry cause she must have felt she could have done more even though it wasn’t her responsibility.😢
I've had a similar situation as a kid where an entitled kid wanted to blow out my candles, but my mom was a lot more of a people pleaser then so she let everyone blow out my candles after me. Not only that but the same kid later wanted the first slice of my cake. I think the worst part isn't even that we have that on camera, but the fact that she was my best friend and neighbor. And it stayed like that for years later.
I can't stand the rotten brother, but I'M ROTTEN TOO, because when the brother arm-swept the birthday cake into the b-day boy's face and the other kids started laughing, I LAUGHED TOO!😂😂😂 I then laughed harder when they started crying because they realized there would be no cake..🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This story was infuriating from start to finish. Op's mom is pathetic. Part of me wants to feel bad for her but I can't. Her suffering was all self inflicted and came from the fact she refused to be a good mom. Both parents failed op's brother in a huge way preparing him for the real world.
I’m also high-functioning autistic. I can’t help but feel angry at the fact that the parents use his autism as an excuse for everything. It’s disgusting and I’m 90%-100% that the younger brother knows what he is doing. He knows that he will get away with it if he has an intentional meltdown.
Honestly as an autistic kid the often blew out peoples candles (never friends only family, sisters, parent, aunts)and got small gifts on other’s birthdays… this is worse then me holy shit, once I hit like I dunno 6 or 7 maybe 5. I stopped that bullshit, the most after that was out of habit people just giving me a bag of candy out of habit of getting me a small toy on other’s birthdays, that kids crazy! I was never even destructive! HE IS TOO DAMN OLD!
Man, stories like this almost make me relieved that i was diagnosed late in life (22). Imagining what my family could have turned me into if they cared is shocking. Also shocking how easily this all could have been avoided with birthday cupcakes. Or anyone having any actual ideas how to mediate... doesnt like cakes with other peoples names on it? Heres the corner piece that says "ops lil bro", that piece is already for you. Then you rinse and repeat on kids birthday "ops slice" to continue having names. Why am i a better parent than some parents, i have no kids!! I dont even babysit anymore!!
I'm autistic (Asperger's syndrome) and I'm very grateful I wasn't really coddled when I was a kid. As far as my parents were concerned at the time I was just kinda smart and very shy. Nothing me or my two brothers did was just brushed off or anything like that. Later in highschool I went to a special education program, and I witnessed some really badly mentally and behaviorally impaired kids. I actually thanked my dad for punishing me later in life, because watching how entitled and unsympathetic some of those kids were really put it into perspective for me, and made me grateful that for all my faults I could have been so much worse.
Stories like this help me understand why people believe in spanking. 🙄 Edit: Right at the end; “But I did not agree with dad spanking him the way he did.” Dude, did you not notice that your brother only started to straighten out after that!? It was _LONG_ overdue, imo.
I feel so bad for OP and especially his brother. His parents set him up to fail at life, and be unable to make friends. Then blamed him for it, and took all his things away and beat him! It is not the brothers fault! It is entirely on the parents. I have an autistic son, he needed so much help and guidance, to understand how to be a part of the neurotypical world. That child was only given bad information and wrong habits. How is he supposed to understand? He cannot read body language very well, he cannot regulate his emotions, as he was never taught how, and has no control over them. What a sad story. I hope he gets taken away from those awfull parents, and gets to live with People who Will help him learn life skills, and People skills etc. So he has a chance at life.
Yeah my kids autistic and I would never let him get away with this shit. Autistic kids need discipline and structure just as much as any other kid. And if he has a meltdown I remove him from the situation its not anyone else's issue but mine and my husbands to deal with that.
I still feel no sympathy whatsoever towards the brother and the parents. The fact that the mother was still coddling and enabling him behind everyone's backs is infuriating.
I'm hopeful that the brother is turning the corner. I'm just sorry that it took all 3 of them (the parents and the brother) to hit such a deep rock bottom. Hopefully the mother will get better and will be able to be with her family again.
This is what you get for constantly kicking a can (the brother's special needs and low-funcitioning understanding of boundaries and limits) down the road and trying to coddle it awat. Someone eventually gets hurt. I don't know if OP's mother will ever come home. My gut feels that she may have self-mutilated a bit to 'punish' herself and she may never been safe to be around brother again as he may be a living trigger for her to relapse.
I am high-functioning Autistic as well. But my parents taught me basic decency and respect. It was not easy, but honestly, raising any child (properly) is not easy. So I respect my loving parents. I was so very lucky.
OP's aunt is awesome! The brother will hopefully learn from everything after what happened with his mother, true enabler. I am in the spectrum myself and never was coddled to where I acted like this. My folks wouldn't put up with that.
My niece tried to do the same thing to my nephew (her cousin)at his birthday. We have sung him “Happy birthday” and i saw my niece was crying in the back. As my nephew went in to blow out his candles. I see her running towards the cake. Idk what went through my mind but my instincts told me to covered her mouth. She was trying to blow out the candles. At the time we all thought she was being a brat. The following year she was diagnosed with high functioning autism. My question is, is this a thing with kid who have autism. I’m still very clueless when it comes to this stuff.
3:41 I'm surprised someone at the school did not bake a cake and have everyone who wanted to / were able to contribute to some decorations and other snacks and then have the party there 🤷🏻♀️ Scratch that... I have baked many a birthday cake and spent hours decorate each (fondant whales leaping out / chocolate sea shells / candy floss for waves, etc.) Never have I written anyone's name on a cake. And I would be more than just a little annoyed at someone describing cakes I spent at least two days of my life on (and often needed to pull all-nighters, because they cannot be made too long beforehand) as somehow less than because it did not have a name on...
I remember this story and a similar story from another channel. The aunt is the GOAT for calling out the parents blatant favoritism. Sad to see the mom broke down and got sent to a mental facility.
I honestly just hope everyone got better in the end, nobody was to blame besides the parents and even they regret it but that doesn’t mean the pain they’ve endured so far was deserved I hope this family is doing well
I am tired of parents coddling their kids to the point they are entitled little brats simply because of a disability. you are not doing that kid any favors by spoiling them. I have a nephew with a learning disability and who we suspect to be on the spectrum. my sister, his mom, does not coddle him or treat him better than his sister. they are both treated equally and know that they will not get something just because they want it. stop spoiling kids because they will become narcissists when they get older
Once the brother turns 18 in the eyes of the legal law, they do not care if he has a disability or not he is an adult and he will be charged as an adult for any crime that he does
They can't think of any other way of disciplining him...which is kinda weird- and sad. Imagine buying stuff for your kid as a type of bribe, or just to get him to shut up- clean the fricken house instead!! Weed the garden!! Chop some wood!! Lol its like that line from The Simpson's, what Ned Flanders' parents said- "We've tried nuthin' and now we're all out of ideas!!"😂😭🤦♀️🤦♀️
If I was told I didn't get to have things because my sibling would have a meltdown then you bet your ass they'd suddenly have two kids who'd have meltdowns any time they didn't get their way. Try to scold me? "This is the behavior you're teaching me is OK."
WTF, HOW MANY GAME SYSTEMS HE HAD??? I only got ps4 on my 16th birthday, had like 5 games on it and sold it 2 years later because I wanted to attend Japanese classes
I disagree, physical abuse is not the answer, what both kids needed was propper parents, you can't threaten people into being truly good people, just make them afraid enough to do what the abuser deems right. This is coming from an abused autistic person btw, it's taken years of professional help to actually become my own person and understand what my parents did (not forgive and forget, we're going through our own healing journeys).
@@PungiFungi If you physically hurt your child then its physical abuse. The father took his anger out of his child and blamed him even though its his and the mothers fault. He tried to remove accountability from himself on the brother. They made him the way he is.
I mean OP in the end can help his brother use his money to buy a new bike and finally understand the cost and responsibility it takes to own nice things.
I'm neurodivergent and I've had a share of tools to help me, I was coddled and spoiled like any kid, but never like this. I learned that being neurodivergent is a challenge, but its not an excuse to act out and become incapable of functioning like any member of society. And that yeah, family might care, but other people will kick you in the guts without a second thought.
@@shuichisaiharasimp lol yeah I never had a birthday party thrown for me either, and my parents NEVER apologised for any of the shite they did, I was never the golden child and gigglesnort, I'm literally an only child!! But meh, people only know what they know, we can only try and do better than the generation that came before us🤷♀️
Is it cruel that I'm ending myself laughing over this stories? Not due to the poor victims but the fact that the parents are basically becoming pariahs in the community due to favourtism and spoiling of their highly functioning ( that means he is basically just half an inch off the whole deck ) autistic kid
Same, my son is on the spectrum and he never gets treated any differently to my daughter, that would be unfair to BOTH of them!! And the parents may have spoilt their kid but it seems like they never bothered to actually TALK to him, connect with him- the way he reacted to his brother at the end telling him what being a grownup was like was very telling- it seems like the parents didn't spoil their autistic kid cos they loved him, it seems like they just wanted to avoid any tantrums or trouble- lol well that backfired spectacularly huh🤦♀️🤦♀️
As someone with high functioning autism, this is why i am against coddling kids, i never wanted to be coddled. I always wanted to be treated normal, coddling just tells me how differently i am Plus it causes situations like this one
as an autistic person, yeah no fuck that brother/parents. He should not have been coddled, the parents ruined his chance at being an actual functioning person by not establishing boundaries and abusing the other child In front of the brother to the point where abuse got normalized towards an otherwise good egg.
Probably not the only one thinking it but the moms still covering for her son. Pretty hard to effectively give yourself two black eyes and have the mindset in the middle of the “self harm” to call the husband. His brother probably did that to her and that’s why dad had such a severe reaction, and why the mom isn’t coming home. Brother has a history of violence and it escalated to the point of harming the mom.
Ok I have two boys, my oldest is what you’d call normal my youngest is level 1 autistic. 11 and 8 respectively. I never allow the youngest anything like that and he is punished for bad behavior. It’s the parents fault
High functioning really means, we've no buisness blaming his behaviour on autism but we're going to anyway because its easier to let him be spoiled than to tell him no.
You HAVE to teach your child discipline, it's not optional. Otherwise you turn them into a menace! If you're consistent from day 1, they'll stop misbehaving sooner.
My step moms cousin takes in kids who have fetal alcohol syndrome and other other disabilities and those kids are some of the most well behaved kids you will ever meet. Why? Because she doesn’t make excuses for her behaviour. She sets firm rules and boundaries and makes sure the kids know and understand those rules and boundaries. She also makes sure those kids have plenty of structure and routine, which helps keep them regulated. These parents clearly lack that.
As an ex-autistic child (as in someone with autism who is no longer a child) it’s so ironic to me that those parents (and honestly everyone on Reddit with autistic children, seriously, do none of them get told what autism actually is when their children are diagnosed?) responded to the diagnosis by basically giving in to what the kid wanted all the time. When my little brother and I were diagnosed I’m pretty sure. Y mom got briefed on what that meant for us and the best way to handle it, namely that we needed a lot of structure and consistent rules. With autistic people, consistency, structure and being straightforward and clear are key
The more I listen to this story, the more I think… yeah of course he’s acting this way, consistency is important for children, even more so for autistic children, and you have to be firm. So far they’ve been extremely consistent on him getting anything he wants if he just makes it clear that he wants it. He was never consistently taught that some things are just off limits and some behaviors are not acceptable. And then as soon as the parents stop coddling him, they start abusing him instead. I mean, hitting him because he’s acting the way they’ve so far always encouraged him to behave? Putting aside the fact that hitting another person, especially a child (and yes 14 is still a child), is never ever ever okay, that’s gotta be confusing as fuck
Lot of people self reporting they were physically abused as kids by being delusional and making excuses for it. All of the research on this has shown time and time again that physical discipline only leads to negative outcomes for children when they grow up. This is from decades of studies and research. When will people stop feeling like they need to make excuses for their parents and update their perspectives to align with the facts we know today? All it takes is a simple google search people. Other forms of discipline like they were already doing are much better, as well as positively reenforcing good behaviour. The only thing that set the kid straight was the mother breaking down in front of him, which she could’ve done without hitting him or harming herself in front of him. She could’ve just broken down emotionally in front of him and thrown out the stuff she got for him and the message still would’ve probably got across. I’m not even saying I have no empathy for the Mom given the situation, but what the Dad did is inexcusable. Nothing about this family is functional or the way things should be, don’t make excuses for these terrible parents just because they did a thing that your parents did that you’ve chosen to forgive them for. You can forgive them without saying hitting kids is effective discipline.
I am legally blind, appearing, autistic, and have epilepsy. That was never an excuse for bad behavior, everything that was expected of the other children was expected of me. I wonder if parents really understand the harm they do to their children when they do this not only does it make the child an insufferable brat, but it really does harm later on. My son also has autism. He’s not allowed to act like a brat either. If you were the parent of a disabled child, do not excuse bad behavior as a part of their disability. It’s unacceptable. Sensory overload is one thing but you have to teach them to handle it constructively step outside if they’re overwhelmed and stuff like that. I think parents that let their kids do this kind of thing or committing child abuse..
I'ma be real... Mom's nervous breakdown was probably the only thing that made the brother finally see reality. That kid was NEVER going to break until his One True Enabler broke.
Couldn't agree more
I think about stories like this a lot because I feel like most kids see their parents "break" in much smaller and healthier ways and learn boundaries.
I think I was like... 3 or 4, when I first saw my mom cry? And it occurred to me that she was upset the same way I was upset. And that simple reality of showing me her feelings was enough to teach some empathy.
The way these parents made every single moment about the brother's wants over everyone else's needs was unsustainable, and core to his behavior. He literally believed he was owed being catered to in part because his mother subjugated every second of her "self" to his tiniest whim.
This is NOT an excuse for their behavior, AT ALL, but it's worth noting that they're taking things away and acting like that as an extension of their own learned behavior. They give up anything he wants.
He wants their food/book/tech object, he got it, probably from the moment he was born. So to the parents it wasn't "I'm going to be nasty to this one child" it was "we *all* have to sacrifice for the *special* child."
Again, not an excuse, but it makes sense of why a parent could be this !nsane.
Yeah enabling him at every step caused this sh*t but glad he is learning it now.
Also you are an awesome and great human being like you were able to grasp about empathy at that little age that something majority of the world doesn't have
I don't think that's true. I used to work in daycare and found most of the kids there were actually really sweet and empathetic to each other. My experience is that kids have to learn meanness and selfishness, not the other way around.
Yeah kids learn from surroundings (with exceptions btw). in that case kudos to your parents and people surrounding you while you were growing up
I love the aunt. That woman does not put up it. 😂
Kind of said she had to take over the role of parent for BOTH of his parents but she’s a real one. She also laid down the law the hardest at so many turns but the parents just wasn’t picking up what she put down. I don’t feel bad for the parents, just pity.
I love her 😂
Parents need to stop using a child's disability as an excuse to let them act however they want.
I agree my mom certainly didn’t
Nor my parents
Not even the relatives I met because of my dyslexia. If the children with serious disabilities, at the center where I went for logotherapy, behaved incorrectly, they scolded them, or made them sit on a chair until they calmed down... Rules exist for everyone, disability or not...
Turning a child with a disability into a ticking nuke....sad really
Thing is, in that post, all the parent got was a stern talking to, and the kid, bore the brunt of the punishment, as if the parents, were punishing him, for their failures as well
I could not find the bit, where the parents were made accountable for ''their'' behaviors, in a '' we need him to see us atone for our mistakes so that when we work with him to change his behavior and atone for it, he'll know that, what WE did was wrong, and what he did was wrong as well, as the result of how we raised and enabled him'' way
Only that they went from fairy god mother to strict parents to the brother
I am in no way advocating or condoning his behavior, but to go from your parents putting you on a platinum platter, to being harsh, when other adults, just ''talked'' to them, whilst in the past when they've been talked to had been different, and this time, they are going scorched earth on you...
What worries me, is that the OP says his brother has ''that look'', and I think, that maybe the OP, if even him, would be safe from his brothers' retaliation, coz maybe now he is playing the long con.. or long game as they say...
Mom made her life purpose to cater to her special kid, and when the kid turned against her, she lost her purpose. No wonder she snapped like that.
As someone with autism: "having special needs" is a reason to make sure the kid has an appropriate IEP in school, or to explain why they behave in ways some people may consider odd, not a reason to allow the kid to run rampant and do whatever they want.
I wish parents stop using a child disability as an excuse to not parent their children or mistreat their other children
Not just that, I wish the parents don’t allow their kids because they’re either too busy to deal with them or saying because they’re sibling’s have to be a better sibling (they wanted them to be a babysitter over some with experience) which I couldn’t help but find it painfully yet neutrally pathetic
I am autistic myself and I was coddled a lot but I still work hard like the rest of my relatives I don’t understand why people use disabilities as a weapon to get what they want
I was diagnosed with a slight case of aspbergers syndrome when I was younger. My parents never told me, and I actually found out about the diagnosis by finding the brochures and paperwork in the back pocket of a car seat. My parents never told me because they knew it would give me a chance to use that as a crutch for school.
I struggled with my entire life until mid-highschool, and now I am finally somewhat normal.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was older due to doctors not listening to my moms concerns but I was coddled and yet I was still behaved and worked hard
Because they get away with it. The same reason people can get away with levying false accusations and ruining someone's life. No consequences usually equals consistent, and escalating, bad behavior. Then they get Surprise Pikachu Face when they finally do encounter someone who won't tolerate it, or push until they find that hard boundary. I've known a few people like that in my 39 years of life and every time the situation plays out the same, sometimes there is a severe mental breakdown but that usually happens to either the really young children (Preteen) or adults over the age of 25. At least from what I have seen myself. Most teens, unless there are diagnosed or undiagnosed mental issues such as Autism or one of the variants on the spectrum, usually sulk or throw a mini tantrum until they realize no one cares then move on. Especially if such tantrums are clearly for show or are a regular occurrence. I do have a cousin with Asperger's and some of his outbursts are uncontrollable especially by himself so I do have some sympathy if the condition is severe enough. Otherwise I treat high functioning autists the same I would treat anyone else. Autism and hormones are NOT an excuse for shitty behavior.
Same
@@prussianeagle1941 as in the 1 where you're rlly smart but you're not v comftable with ppl? (thats the main thing that I know about it) sry if i get it wrong in any way
wont lie. i have no empathy for the mom. terrible parent and cant even take accountability for her own actions.
Not only that but she straight up assaulted the child she herself enabled instead of sticking to the discipline; every child deserves good parents, but not every parent deserves their kid.
I feel so bad for both of them. :/
Same, though I do feel like maybe part of the problem is the piss poor disability support in America. I wasn’t diagnosed over there, but when my mom found out my little brother and I were autistic, it was also explained to her exactly what that meant for us and how to best approach raising us, namely that we’d require more structure and very clear rules than the average kids. So she implemented that, and from how she described it we immediately improved our behavior. From how she described it, before the diagnosis she’d try to be the fun parent and make exceptions to rules sometimes, and it made us behave so miserably in general she was sometimes driven to physical violence much like the father in the story, but once she stopped doing that and really made it clear that these are the rules and I will no longer make exceptions, we started actually following the rules. I actually feel pretty bad for the brother, he was really set up for failure by the parents, because for the first 14 years of his life, the extremely clear and rigid rule was that he could do and have whatever his heart desired at any time without consequences, but that’s not how the world works so naturally when the parents started implementing real rules for the first time in his life at 14, he tried to resist and still follow the rule that had been true his entire life, leading to the absolute shit show at the end.
As shitty as this situation was, I am glad it seems like his brother and parents (barring his mom's breakdown) seemed to recognize their behaviors and had begun to change. Too many times you hear horror stories of this shit going on well into adulthood for the spoiled kid.
The price for that lesson was very high but paid for all the same. Hope they can live with it and themselves.
This coddling of the Autistic/neurodivergent child on these reddit is hella foreign to me🤨 I wasn't anywhere near spoiled, nor allowed anything similar to 'coddling' even if counselors or teachers specified different approaches were needed for me, my parents weren't having it. So, seeing the near monsters, these 'parents' are creating simply cuz they refuse be active parents is sad for the child and disgusting on their part, especially at the cost of alienation of previous/other children in the house.
Oh gosh there's a story on here where all the kids have autistic the oldest was forced to help with the younger cause apparently with each new child it was higher on the spectrum guess the idiot mother was hoping for a normal kid so that they could help out with the other kids 🤦♀️ don't remember much about that story except for the part mentioned would remember if heard it a few more times but only one channel covered it
It's laziness, it's easier to bribe the kid with toys and distractions to get them to behave rather than addressing the cause of their behavior.
It’s real. I worked in an agency for disabled people and this one client I had. Nightmare child in her 30s but the entitlement and sociopathic tendencies were I asked. How isn’t she locked up? I would wish she got better, but I know that’s not the truth. She is a literal demon
Doesn't matter if kid is autistic or not. I seen plenty of well behaved autistic children in my time as a caregiver.
Autism isn’t synonymous with bad behaviour .. The average kid would act like an a-hole if they were ‘raised ‘ like this little kiddo was.
Aunt real mvp
Sounds just like the story of the son whose parents made him let his sister blow out his candles before him. Exact same behavior, sister was a miracle baby and they spoiled her rotten to the detriment of their son. She threw fits if she didn’t get everything. They made him have his 18th birthday party at a Chuckie Cheese knockoff because his sister didn’t like his favorite restaurant and they didn’t want to deal with her tantrum, got him a pink birthday cake and he just broke down crying in the place. That was the day all the relatives decided to open their eyes and lay into the parents (even though they could see it all for years). Grandparents finally took in the son and grandpa got him an old truck, which the sister tried to destroy cause she didn’t get one (think she was around 12-13 at the time). It just blows my mind when parents treat one of the children like crap for the sake of the others. Parents aren’t supposed to have favorites and if they do, they aren’t supposed to show it!
Oh I remember this one, I think the update for that one was that the sister ended up going into a boarding school or psych ward I think
@@Quetzalpugle yep that one!
@@Quetzalpugle I think it ended up being both.
Anyone have a link to the story?
Both, she went to boarding school and got put in a psych ward because she put a knife to kid's throat and demanded candy.
Wait, when he looted the PARENTS' room, suddenly there are consequences? How selfish of them, don't they care about his special needs?
Kid will be in jail before he is 25. Guarantee you
He's young and monsters are made. The ending tries to give hope. He's like maybe 15/16 at the least so he's got maybe 3 years to get right.
@@Tony.Dreamer sometimes autistic kids take a little longer to learn complex empathy and consequences past like, raw emotional anger and need for revenge against people who restrict us. I think I started to mellow out more at about 16-19 but I still have a spicy side. You really need to make sure they have positive friendships who hold them accountable for their behavior but in a compassionate way. It's often the only way we learn that it's possible to be both good natured AND strong, and keep friendships or support systems around without having to become a bully ourselves, especially if there is one parent with antisocial and narcissistic tendencies who teaches us wrong, while the other is trying their hardest to raise you to be relatively normal and well adjusted.
You know what? I don’t think he will. I think what happened at the end there has put the fear of God into him. If the mom never comes back, the brother is going to blame himself and be severely traumatized. That boy needs some therapy.
I am an autistic woman and the first of six kids, I was never coddled and my parents have had to go about how I contribute around the house. However I have always been held responsible for all my actions and I am appalled by the lack of accountability and lack of recognition of this kid’s fault in everything he’s done. 😐
I don’t get why OP has any contact with his parents or brother after turning 18. They made it painfully clear that they don’t love or care about OP; the only reason they apologized is because they’re afraid of losing their support network.
I do maybe. He probably wanted some inch of relationship with them when all his life after his brother was born, he was never part of their family of 3. But he still annoyed the hell out of me. More than the parents and brother. He shouldve stayed away and live on his own away from the toxicity. Either too nice, or just weak minded.
Because your brain doesn't automatically reset when you turn 18. All the shit your parents put in there is still there. You have to recognize it and root it out and that takes time.
@@poohbear4515 I get what you're saying. Honestly, I wish it were possible for humans to turn their love off like a light switch, so that fewer people would stay in contact with toxic jerks.
@@jamestown8398How can you even love someone who does bad by you?If my parents pulled any sh*t like that they would be more than welcome to spend the rest of their lives alone
@@shuichisaiharasimp'cause he doesn't understand healthy relationships. When all you know is pain and abuse you start seeing that as normal.
This is why I don’t let bad behavior slide without calling it out in public where it does the most damage. It works every time. If someone is going to treat you like sh-t for no good reason, why on earth should they get away with it scot free. People will walk all over you if you let them, given the chance and lack or repercussions for their actions. Nope, I’m going after them any time they pull this. Who needs friends or family like that anyway? If they’ll do you dirty when no one is looking, they never loved you anyway. Or not enough if they do. They are usually looking out for themselves only in these situations-so don’t be mad when someone else comes back at you doing the same for themselves when no one else will for them in many cases 😂. Although OP’s aunt sounds like the OP, she’s gangster and I am here for it 😂. Good job auntie-look out for that kid!
These are the same kind of people who will make a reddit post somewhere down the line lamenting about how their kid wants nothing to do with them or his brother.
I have autism and take care of kids and adults with autism. This is just pure enablement the parents did. There were plenty of ways they could have corrected his behavior, but they chose not to. Now they have to live with what they created. That's completely on them. Teaching others to use their disability as a way of getting what they want is extremely toxic and what turns people against us.
Even Junior in both of the Problem Child movies had far more redeemable qualities, logic, commonsense, and a phucking heart than the brat.
OP was living a nighmarishly harrowing inescapable hellscape.
Lol ohmygod, haven't heard that movie spoken of in ages!! Have you seen "Mikey"?? Another great oldschool movie that works as awesome birth control lol...yeah, if the kid is just "Problem Child" then there is hope, but if he's like "Mikey"...or "The Good Son"...or Damien from "The Omen" (!!😂) then sorry kid, I'm out, enjoy fostercare
Give that dad the saying, "It takes a big man to admit that he's wrong" in beautifully calligraphy.
Yo the dad went full prison guard on him.
Long overdue.
Kid needed it
A little of enforcing boundaries would have been good when he was a little kid to avoid this. High functioning means they didn't need to coddle him , they just used it as an excuse. It took an asswhooping for him to realize actions have consequences.
I do think the kid hit mom. That was her low moment when she realized it was too late she couldn't stop him, she lost her mind
I bet that kid will never raise a hand to them again after that asswhooping. CONSEQUENCES!!
I do hope they are on a better path now
That brat needed a trip to the woodshed.
‘Kleptomania’ is not a goddamned special need.
Mom destroyed everything
Including herself.
OP has such a good heart May God bless him
Dude, this OP is awesome. He stayed humble and I'm happy his Aunt was there to help when he needed it.
The parents are bad parents, and I'm definitely feeling like there might've been some generational stuff going on with the mother, maybe from her childhood or maybe just stuff she believes, whatever the case, shoot, she needs some help.
The brother is absolutely entitled and isnt ok, but I'm glad that even though he misses the older life, it's finally gotten through to him that he can't just act like that, and acknowledged he was being a bad person.
I mean, I'm never a fan when a parent physically punishes a child, I absolutely dont think it's necessary, but the bro here was halfway through his early teen years, that might've been the only wake up call that would've worked.
That being said, yikes, that brother is also gonna need therapy just from the trauma he got there and from needing to learn this stuff far later than usual.
One last thing I'll say, I got that the brother is autistic and stuff, and yeah, Autism is a mental disadvantage, and it does require extra help and new, other ways to solve issues. That being said, letting the kid get what he wants just because he's "special" feels ableist as hell.
Yeah, he'll need some special help because he's got a mental disadvantage, but the fact that the parents never treated him like an actual kid, and went on to treat him like a God, it really shows you how they view autism. That in itself is really ableist.
Yes, its absolutely true that not all autistic people experience autism the same way, thats absolutely true, but saying that BECAUSE he's autistic, it means he can't be treated the same way, thats not cool man, and it really portrays an awful idealization on other Autistic folks.
Any how, I really hope this family and OP get some help and can improve.
Cant they find a counsiler or association to help and teach parents how to handle an autistic child and what is the limit between understanding and spoiling an autistic child based on the level of autism the child has??
So sad for OP. Fortunatly he was not alone.
That requires A: Society stop making g being ND a social stigma to be hidden
B: Parents willing to do so.
C: Money to pay for it.
As a high functioning autist, I can say the best thing for me was not being formally diagnosed until I was in college. We all just thought I was 'weird' so my parents pushed me extra hard to be normal. I'm not normal but I'm at least a functional adult for it. The real world does not give you breaks for being 'different'. It will come for you just like everyone else and you better be tough and ready for it.
I'm so grateful that my mom loved me and my brother for who we are. We're both autistic.
Notice after the butt whooping he did a instant life assessment asking how much of a bad person he was and what is like to be an adult if the parents treated him like a normal kid from birth , They would have had none of these problems 🤷
Honestly there is a difference between corporal punishment and abuse and people need to stop demonizing the first. Kid is lucky his dad did it and not the first police officer with a gun who finds him throwing a temper tantrum for not being allowed to rob an old lady.
Good for you for standing up for yourself! Canceling your birthday just to cater to your brother is so unfair, and it’s clear they didn’t expect you to take matters into your own hands. Sometimes parents don’t realize the impact of their actions, especially when they favor one child over another. Telling your friends at school was a bold move, and it clearly showed your parents how much their decision hurt you. Hope you had an amazing birthday after all-you deserve it!
That last update nearly broke because to some extent I could relate. Seeing what your action lead to and potentially spiraling and destroying of one self image is both eye opening and soul crushing. Even if you feel no sympathy for the mother’s action that doesn’t justify her mental breakdown, I only wish it didn’t have to be this way. My condolences to OP family, hopefully his mother, father, and brother come out for better in the end
Not to minimize the value of OP or his brothers life; but those parents should have never had kids. Unfortunately no one ever thought to remove those kids from their custody. Kudos to the Aunt, but also sorry cause she must have felt she could have done more even though it wasn’t her responsibility.😢
I remember this story but I didn't know it had so many updates. Great job❤
Glad you enjoyed ❤️❤️❤️
The minibike incident: call the police anyway! That brat needs some accountability!
I've had a similar situation as a kid where an entitled kid wanted to blow out my candles, but my mom was a lot more of a people pleaser then so she let everyone blow out my candles after me.
Not only that but the same kid later wanted the first slice of my cake. I think the worst part isn't even that we have that on camera, but the fact that she was my best friend and neighbor. And it stayed like that for years later.
I can't stand the rotten brother, but I'M ROTTEN TOO, because when the brother arm-swept the birthday cake into the b-day boy's face and the other kids started laughing, I LAUGHED TOO!😂😂😂 I then laughed harder when they started crying because they realized there would be no cake..🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That aunt is an MVP
This is why some people like to say "you are not raising a child, you're raising an adult."
Man the evil stare from the window…. It literally give me horror movie maniac killer vibes
This story was infuriating from start to finish. Op's mom is pathetic. Part of me wants to feel bad for her but I can't. Her suffering was all self inflicted and came from the fact she refused to be a good mom. Both parents failed op's brother in a huge way preparing him for the real world.
I’m also high-functioning autistic. I can’t help but feel angry at the fact that the parents use his autism as an excuse for everything. It’s disgusting and I’m 90%-100% that the younger brother knows what he is doing. He knows that he will get away with it if he has an intentional meltdown.
I've heard this story several times. ❤ Your updates are the bestest. Thank you.
Honestly as an autistic kid the often blew out peoples candles (never friends only family, sisters, parent, aunts)and got small gifts on other’s birthdays… this is worse then me holy shit, once I hit like I dunno 6 or 7 maybe 5. I stopped that bullshit, the most after that was out of habit people just giving me a bag of candy out of habit of getting me a small toy on other’s birthdays, that kids crazy! I was never even destructive! HE IS TOO DAMN OLD!
Man, stories like this almost make me relieved that i was diagnosed late in life (22). Imagining what my family could have turned me into if they cared is shocking.
Also shocking how easily this all could have been avoided with birthday cupcakes. Or anyone having any actual ideas how to mediate... doesnt like cakes with other peoples names on it? Heres the corner piece that says "ops lil bro", that piece is already for you. Then you rinse and repeat on kids birthday "ops slice" to continue having names. Why am i a better parent than some parents, i have no kids!! I dont even babysit anymore!!
I'm autistic (Asperger's syndrome) and I'm very grateful I wasn't really coddled when I was a kid. As far as my parents were concerned at the time I was just kinda smart and very shy. Nothing me or my two brothers did was just brushed off or anything like that. Later in highschool I went to a special education program, and I witnessed some really badly mentally and behaviorally impaired kids. I actually thanked my dad for punishing me later in life, because watching how entitled and unsympathetic some of those kids were really put it into perspective for me, and made me grateful that for all my faults I could have been so much worse.
I'm literally the exact same.
Stories like this help me understand why people believe in spanking. 🙄
Edit: Right at the end; “But I did not agree with dad spanking him the way he did.”
Dude, did you not notice that your brother only started to straighten out after that!? It was _LONG_ overdue, imo.
Part 2: 7:38 /// Part 3: 12:30 /// Part 4: 16:38 /// Part 5: 22:04 /// Part 6: 28:17 /// Part 7 (most recent) : 35:49
I feel so bad for OP and especially his brother. His parents set him up to fail at life, and be unable to make friends. Then blamed him for it, and took all his things away and beat him!
It is not the brothers fault! It is entirely on the parents.
I have an autistic son, he needed so much help and guidance, to understand how to be a part of the neurotypical world. That child was only given bad information and wrong habits. How is he supposed to understand? He cannot read body language very well, he cannot regulate his emotions, as he was never taught how, and has no control over them. What a sad story.
I hope he gets taken away from those awfull parents, and gets to live with People who Will help him learn life skills, and People skills etc. So he has a chance at life.
Yeah my kids autistic and I would never let him get away with this shit. Autistic kids need discipline and structure just as much as any other kid. And if he has a meltdown I remove him from the situation its not anyone else's issue but mine and my husbands to deal with that.
I still feel no sympathy whatsoever towards the brother and the parents. The fact that the mother was still coddling and enabling him behind everyone's backs is infuriating.
Story 1 that is not autism. That kid is just a brat.
I'm hopeful that the brother is turning the corner. I'm just sorry that it took all 3 of them (the parents and the brother) to hit such a deep rock bottom. Hopefully the mother will get better and will be able to be with her family again.
OP is a great big brother, even when he suffered, he still stood up and was there for his brother and family.
This is what you get for constantly kicking a can (the brother's special needs and low-funcitioning understanding of boundaries and limits) down the road and trying to coddle it awat. Someone eventually gets hurt.
I don't know if OP's mother will ever come home. My gut feels that she may have self-mutilated a bit to 'punish' herself and she may never been safe to be around brother again as he may be a living trigger for her to relapse.
I am high-functioning Autistic as well.
But my parents taught me basic decency and respect. It was not easy, but honestly, raising any child (properly) is not easy. So I respect my loving parents.
I was so very lucky.
Does the brother not have his own birthday? Wtf
OP's aunt is awesome! The brother will hopefully learn from everything after what happened with his mother, true enabler. I am in the spectrum myself and never was coddled to where I acted like this. My folks wouldn't put up with that.
My niece tried to do the same thing to my nephew (her cousin)at his birthday. We have sung him “Happy birthday” and i saw my niece was crying in the back. As my nephew went in to blow out his candles. I see her running towards the cake. Idk what went through my mind but my instincts told me to covered her mouth. She was trying to blow out the candles. At the time we all thought she was being a brat. The following year she was diagnosed with high functioning autism. My question is, is this a thing with kid who have autism. I’m still very clueless when it comes to this stuff.
This is first time i may ever feel like this but I'm glad they're trying to work this out.
3:41 I'm surprised someone at the school did not bake a cake and have everyone who wanted to / were able to contribute to some decorations and other snacks and then have the party there 🤷🏻♀️
Scratch that... I have baked many a birthday cake and spent hours decorate each (fondant whales leaping out / chocolate sea shells / candy floss for waves, etc.) Never have I written anyone's name on a cake. And I would be more than just a little annoyed at someone describing cakes I spent at least two days of my life on (and often needed to pull all-nighters, because they cannot be made too long beforehand) as somehow less than because it did not have a name on...
Holy crow, that was intense.
I remember this story and a similar story from another channel. The aunt is the GOAT for calling out the parents blatant favoritism. Sad to see the mom broke down and got sent to a mental facility.
the older brother handled that so well i would've snapped and pull out every word
I feel nothing for the mom after everything she did she brought this on her self
I honestly just hope everyone got better in the end, nobody was to blame besides the parents and even they regret it but that doesn’t mean the pain they’ve endured so far was deserved
I hope this family is doing well
I am tired of parents coddling their kids to the point they are entitled little brats simply because of a disability. you are not doing that kid any favors by spoiling them. I have a nephew with a learning disability and who we suspect to be on the spectrum. my sister, his mom, does not coddle him or treat him better than his sister. they are both treated equally and know that they will not get something just because they want it. stop spoiling kids because they will become narcissists when they get older
they are all still enabling him, even OP. gosh this is hard to listen to
I’m sure everyone knew they gave the party to save face because I bet NO ONE got invites until after they were shamed.
Once the brother turns 18 in the eyes of the legal law, they do not care if he has a disability or not he is an adult and he will be charged as an adult for any crime that he does
whyd they sell his bike? do they want the little shit to be stuck inside where basically the only thing he can do is break things???
Because he destroyed the house
@@rubymeaddle yah so get the kid out of the house
They can't think of any other way of disciplining him...which is kinda weird- and sad. Imagine buying stuff for your kid as a type of bribe, or just to get him to shut up- clean the fricken house instead!! Weed the garden!! Chop some wood!! Lol its like that line from The Simpson's, what Ned Flanders' parents said- "We've tried nuthin' and now we're all out of ideas!!"😂😭🤦♀️🤦♀️
If I was told I didn't get to have things because my sibling would have a meltdown then you bet your ass they'd suddenly have two kids who'd have meltdowns any time they didn't get their way. Try to scold me? "This is the behavior you're teaching me is OK."
WTF, HOW MANY GAME SYSTEMS HE HAD??? I only got ps4 on my 16th birthday, had like 5 games on it and sold it 2 years later because I wanted to attend Japanese classes
Parents who use their children or child’s disabilities as an excuse to let them act out or act how they want to act is just wrong.
The only thing OP is wrong about is the dad spanking the kid, the kid 100% needed it and if dad ever lost it again it was VERY likely to be deserved
It was probably way worse than what op described as to why he didn’t agree with it
I disagree, physical abuse is not the answer, what both kids needed was propper parents, you can't threaten people into being truly good people, just make them afraid enough to do what the abuser deems right. This is coming from an abused autistic person btw, it's taken years of professional help to actually become my own person and understand what my parents did (not forgive and forget, we're going through our own healing journeys).
This was not physical abuse. And I see the brat’s behavior turned completely after getting physically punished.
I bet the brat was beating the mother and dad walked in on it and lied to the oop about her doing self harm.
@@PungiFungi If you physically hurt your child then its physical abuse. The father took his anger out of his child and blamed him even though its his and the mothers fault. He tried to remove accountability from himself on the brother. They made him the way he is.
I mean OP in the end can help his brother use his money to buy a new bike and finally understand the cost and responsibility it takes to own nice things.
OP is a good kid cause I'd probably hate my brother forever.
FYI...Evren is a name of Turkish origin that means Universe; Cosmos . Evren is a dragon in Turkish mythology. 🐉
I think it’s sad that it took mom to have a mental breakdown and self harming herself for dad to wake up and brother to finally understand
I'm neurodivergent and I've had a share of tools to help me, I was coddled and spoiled like any kid, but never like this. I learned that being neurodivergent is a challenge, but its not an excuse to act out and become incapable of functioning like any member of society. And that yeah, family might care, but other people will kick you in the guts without a second thought.
*"Like any kid"* and then ur delulu ahh wakes up.
@@shuichisaiharasimp If you didnt, I'm Sorry. But I'm not delulu. You, however, sounds bitter
@@MyBlackPumpkinSoup Sound?As far as I know, aint nobody speaking here
@@shuichisaiharasimp lol yeah I never had a birthday party thrown for me either, and my parents NEVER apologised for any of the shite they did, I was never the golden child and gigglesnort, I'm literally an only child!! But meh, people only know what they know, we can only try and do better than the generation that came before us🤷♀️
@@twiceshy9773 yep
Is it cruel that I'm ending myself laughing over this stories?
Not due to the poor victims but the fact that the parents are basically becoming pariahs in the community due to favourtism and spoiling of their highly functioning ( that means he is basically just half an inch off the whole deck ) autistic kid
My brother who is autistic never acted like that. There is no excuse.
Same, my son is on the spectrum and he never gets treated any differently to my daughter, that would be unfair to BOTH of them!! And the parents may have spoilt their kid but it seems like they never bothered to actually TALK to him, connect with him- the way he reacted to his brother at the end telling him what being a grownup was like was very telling- it seems like the parents didn't spoil their autistic kid cos they loved him, it seems like they just wanted to avoid any tantrums or trouble- lol well that backfired spectacularly huh🤦♀️🤦♀️
As someone with high functioning autism,
this is why i am against coddling kids,
i never wanted to be coddled.
I always wanted to be treated normal,
coddling just tells me how differently i am
Plus it causes situations like this one
as an autistic person, yeah no fuck that brother/parents. He should not have been coddled, the parents ruined his chance at being an actual functioning person by not establishing boundaries and abusing the other child In front of the brother to the point where abuse got normalized towards an otherwise good egg.
This sounds like a family that would be on an episode of Dr. Phil.
That ending was bittersweet
Probably not the only one thinking it but the moms still covering for her son. Pretty hard to effectively give yourself two black eyes and have the mindset in the middle of the “self harm” to call the husband. His brother probably did that to her and that’s why dad had such a severe reaction, and why the mom isn’t coming home. Brother has a history of violence and it escalated to the point of harming the mom.
Ok I have two boys, my oldest is what you’d call normal my youngest is level 1 autistic. 11 and 8 respectively. I never allow the youngest anything like that and he is punished for bad behavior. It’s the parents fault
High functioning really means, we've no buisness blaming his behaviour on autism but we're going to anyway because its easier to let him be spoiled than to tell him no.
You HAVE to teach your child discipline, it's not optional. Otherwise you turn them into a menace! If you're consistent from day 1, they'll stop misbehaving sooner.
That aunt is a real G, reminds me of my own aunt. She don't take shit from no one.
My step moms cousin takes in kids who have fetal alcohol syndrome and other other disabilities and those kids are some of the most well behaved kids you will ever meet. Why? Because she doesn’t make excuses for her behaviour. She sets firm rules and boundaries and makes sure the kids know and understand those rules and boundaries. She also makes sure those kids have plenty of structure and routine, which helps keep them regulated. These parents clearly lack that.
Everyone would have held smoke 💀💀💀
As an ex-autistic child (as in someone with autism who is no longer a child) it’s so ironic to me that those parents (and honestly everyone on Reddit with autistic children, seriously, do none of them get told what autism actually is when their children are diagnosed?) responded to the diagnosis by basically giving in to what the kid wanted all the time. When my little brother and I were diagnosed I’m pretty sure. Y mom got briefed on what that meant for us and the best way to handle it, namely that we needed a lot of structure and consistent rules. With autistic people, consistency, structure and being straightforward and clear are key
The more I listen to this story, the more I think… yeah of course he’s acting this way, consistency is important for children, even more so for autistic children, and you have to be firm. So far they’ve been extremely consistent on him getting anything he wants if he just makes it clear that he wants it. He was never consistently taught that some things are just off limits and some behaviors are not acceptable. And then as soon as the parents stop coddling him, they start abusing him instead. I mean, hitting him because he’s acting the way they’ve so far always encouraged him to behave? Putting aside the fact that hitting another person, especially a child (and yes 14 is still a child), is never ever ever okay, that’s gotta be confusing as fuck
Even the most stunted of humans can understand rules and discipline by the best teacher around, pain.
After hearing the saga, I have lost hope for the ‘parents’ even if they decided to change
I felt numb hearing anything about them
I saw this story a while ago but I guess more happened than I thought. Like jeez bro! The mother doing self-harm that hit me hard!
Lot of people self reporting they were physically abused as kids by being delusional and making excuses for it. All of the research on this has shown time and time again that physical discipline only leads to negative outcomes for children when they grow up. This is from decades of studies and research. When will people stop feeling like they need to make excuses for their parents and update their perspectives to align with the facts we know today? All it takes is a simple google search people. Other forms of discipline like they were already doing are much better, as well as positively reenforcing good behaviour. The only thing that set the kid straight was the mother breaking down in front of him, which she could’ve done without hitting him or harming herself in front of him. She could’ve just broken down emotionally in front of him and thrown out the stuff she got for him and the message still would’ve probably got across. I’m not even saying I have no empathy for the Mom given the situation, but what the Dad did is inexcusable. Nothing about this family is functional or the way things should be, don’t make excuses for these terrible parents just because they did a thing that your parents did that you’ve chosen to forgive them for. You can forgive them without saying hitting kids is effective discipline.
I am legally blind, appearing, autistic, and have epilepsy. That was never an excuse for bad behavior, everything that was expected of the other children was expected of me. I wonder if parents really understand the harm they do to their children when they do this not only does it make the child an insufferable brat, but it really does harm later on. My son also has autism. He’s not allowed to act like a brat either.
If you were the parent of a disabled child, do not excuse bad behavior as a part of their disability. It’s unacceptable. Sensory overload is one thing but you have to teach them to handle it constructively step outside if they’re overwhelmed and stuff like that. I think parents that let their kids do this kind of thing or committing child abuse..
I imagine the meme where the brother looks at the cake and tries to get to it, but OP then blocks him.