If you want an ED especially anorexia I know you think you're willing to sacrifice nearly anything to be what you think is beautiful. You will get NONE of the benefits you want and expect. I promise you. I never wore bikini even at my ultimate goal weight. I was never happy. I never got a boyfriend from it. I relapse into daily TORTURE. It steals all my happiness and energy.
Ugh so so sooo true. It was never enough. My goal was to be skinny enough so when I sit there were no roles but I was never gonna get there. Not until I was skin and bones. I just got more angry, more empty, more tired, more sick, weaker. I didn't have a period even and it's still irregular to this day (means I have a good chance of not being able to have kids) My mom would say it will cause issues in the long run and slow your metabolism down but my solution is I just wouldn't ever stop not eating so it wouldn't ever matter. Anorexia is so glorified it's disgusting. Like she said "it isn't a trend it's a god damn fight."
I am so sorry but when I tell I want anorexia it's because I binge and I am not ok but I wanna be not ok in the other way bc at least then ppl would call me beautiful... It doesn't mean anything but it would be the thing keeping me from k¡lling myself...
So true... I became very tired and wanted to change my body. I wanted perfect hourglass shape, big boobs, big ass, and tiny stomach. I was alright with my boobs and butt but I wanted a tiny stomach. I had a lot of Ed influences in my life at the time, one of them was a UA-camr who was severely under weight. She made it look not that bad and becides I didn't want to be under weight so I figured maybe I could do what these people are doing and lose a few pounds but after a while those skipped meals added up and before I knew it I had a full blown Ed. I wanted to stop so bad but I couldn't because the food I once loved now made me sad and sick to my stomach and i was never truly happy with what i saw in the mirror. Even though I was losing a lot of weight I was never under weight so nobody would help me and they still won't. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and talk to girl I use to be and tell her to hold on and don't give in because now I'm miserable and stuck in a cycle.
@@kristin5095 I know how u feel and you should get help with your binging but I pray you don't ever get ãnørêxia if you dont already have it. Its horrible and you'll never be able to just "quit". I use to think that it would save me but here I am sadder and suffering more than I ever did before. Please hold on and keep fighting. I don't know you but I believe your amazing and I hope you can find your way out. Stay strong dear💓💕❤🌹
2:55 im so thankfull for her cuz she could put all my pain into words that was beautiful,and finally i can cry about it,its hard when dont fell emontions turns normal in your life
Yes this one was by far my favorite. I cant wait for the day I can finally tell my body I'm sorry and truly mean it. I mean it now but it seems like every time I say I'm sorry I turn around and give into my Ed. Sometimes I cry because I know deep down I dont hate my body, I love it but my Ed has me so fucked that whenever I say I hate my body its not even me saying those things....
I feel this 🥲 My coworker commented on how much I was eating and then I had to go to urgent care for a jaw issue and they weighed me and haven't been ok since. It's really tough to keep going and not fall back into it. But we can do this ❤
The part that resonated with me most was "I love the way you hold the people you care about most". I'm trying so hard to see my body as a vessel through which I experience life and happiness and sadness and other people and love, and not just the rolls on my stomach when I sit down or the way I don't have cheekbones or a jawbone or -...
No one ever realizes or noticed that I was walking through the path called the eating disorders, not even me, I thought I was just trying to maintain the weight not until I started crying over how I eat, how I look, comparing myself to my friends or any other skinny body, starving myself until I fall sick, trying to throw up myself when I overeat, I stop eating but when I lose my control I eat and eat until my stomach pain I would cry and write notes calling myself ugly and encouraging to not eat and exercise until I got a sore whole body when people started recognizing that I lose some weight I would feel happy and do it more and more, I would smile I get to touch my bone instead of my fats, I would always hesitate or get scared whenever my friends or family asked to eat foods Live been so hard
TW poem If you want to know what my ed is like here you go. I wake up at 9am everyday because Im so tired from not sleeping that night. When I get out of bed I check my weight to make sure those numbers have not increased if they do I feel like a failure and don't eat for that day and exercising to loose that pound or more I gained. I weigh myself 6 times a day crying because of how I look. My friends say Im skinny but I don't feel like that. I Lok at the calories on food items just to put it back. I cut my calories so I don't gain weight. I don't remember the taste of fried food or fast food only the taste of fruit veggies and water. I exercise so much Im sore and in pain. People say just loose weight the healthy way don't you think I have tried that I will exercise till Im bruised and pass out. I do those situps and runs everyday 4 times a day or more. Im sorry that I don't feel pretty or skinny and don't eat Im sorry I put you trough hell over and over. Im only 14 but that doesn't matter you can be any age gender or race to have an ed. I weigh 109.5 pounds but I need to loose more so I will do more situps on my bedroom floor till Im so bruised I can't take it anymore. So if you ask I am fine. That is what my ed is like
I switched to vegetarian at the beginning of 2021 just because I don’t like meat but when I went out with my super skinny aunt for dinner she said and I quote “why are u vegetarian cause it doesn’t look like u lost weight”. I didn’t answer her or finish my dinner. I then started to cut out lunch then after school snacks and then breakfast. I would say I was eating dinner at my friends houses and I lost 15 pounds very quickly. I’m 14 and 5’2 and currently I weigh 100.5 pounds but my lowest was on June 24 when I weighed 84.5. During the summer I recovered by myself but once school started I’m relapsing. Anytime my friends say I’m skinny I feel like they’re making fun of me even though they’re not. I purposely fall when they pick me up because I’m actually terrified that they’re not going to be able to pick me up and say I’m heavier than they thought. On my friends pool party birthday part u can see every bone on my chest and ribs. I got a very long text from them that night saying how they were concerned for me. The party was terrible because I was so cold in the pool and they didn’t understand so I almost started crying. Please I’m begging you do not restrict yourself at all. I binged a lot over the summer and please please please promise me you’ll nurture your body like your supposed to. Ily!
This made me cry. I love this. I hate it. It hurts me. I don't relate to the ED but I do relate the self resentment and the depression and the anxiety. I relate, I relate I relate. And I wish I didn't and I want to hug her because no one-NO ONE-should ever have to go through something like this.
To everyone struggling to recover I’m just telling you it is worth it. It’s not easy. Its hard, but when you start feeling better and living things in life you feel so free. It is so worth it.
Wow that was beautiful. It really put into words how a lot of people feel and how terribly it can affect them not just physically but socially, emotionally and mentally
I have had anorexia since I was a teenager. I’ve got more of a problem with weight gain than I do with knowing I’m mentally ill. So I’m happy the way I am.
When I get hungry, I just eat pickles, they got close to no calories and also use mustard as a condiment the times I do eat, even though I hate it, cause it also has close to no calories. Why rack up calories when there are alternatives, right? I mean, I’m eating. They hurt my stomach so bad, but at least I ate something. Right?
These make me so sad. I'm not under weight even though ive lost a whole lot of it but I'm tired of not being happy and not feeling skinny enough. I'm tired of worshiping tiny sickly bodies trying to compete with them. I tired of one day feeling better and the next feeling like shit. I'm tired of one minute wanting to recover an the next wanting to get worse. But most importantly I'm tired of the lack of support and the constant fear that maybe I'm crazy and just faking. I'm sick of being alone...
TW: I look in the mirror at different angles. I know I’m skinny, but I’ll never be skinny enough. I know I’m sick. But I’m not sick enough to complain. My friend tells me I’m finally gaining weight. She says it like it’s a good thing. And all those times you called me skinny could never make up for those words: “Your gaining weight!” I skipped a meal yesterday. You asked if I was ok. I said “yes” All I need you to say is: “are you sure?” Maybe then I would’ve opened up. But you left me to rot. I’m screaming and crying so loud but you cover your ears. I’m falling but you don’t grab my hand. Why can’t you help me like I help you? Is what I’m going through invisible to you? I guess I’m not sick enough to be cared for. I guess I don’t deserve the happiness you have. I guess I’m meant to rot. It’s gods plan right? Right? ..
1: there needs to be more talk about the other ones 2: its not worth it to lose weight, ive tried! i was in second grade when my FIRST ED apeard i thought i was to fat so i stopped eating, trust me ITS NOT WORTH IT!
My dad he just gave me chocolate and i said no i just ate some he said stop lying u have to eat and i ate a little bit of the chocolate and now i feel so guilty i can’t throw it up💔
gaining weight until I´m not underweight anymore and then thinking "Well now I can start again and loose a little bit of weight...just a little to be skinnier!"
If you want an ED especially anorexia I know you think you're willing to sacrifice nearly anything to be what you think is beautiful. You will get NONE of the benefits you want and expect. I promise you. I never wore bikini even at my ultimate goal weight. I was never happy. I never got a boyfriend from it. I relapse into daily TORTURE. It steals all my happiness and energy.
Ugh so so sooo true. It was never enough. My goal was to be skinny enough so when I sit there were no roles but I was never gonna get there. Not until I was skin and bones. I just got more angry, more empty, more tired, more sick, weaker. I didn't have a period even and it's still irregular to this day (means I have a good chance of not being able to have kids) My mom would say it will cause issues in the long run and slow your metabolism down but my solution is I just wouldn't ever stop not eating so it wouldn't ever matter. Anorexia is so glorified it's disgusting. Like she said "it isn't a trend it's a god damn fight."
I am so sorry but when I tell I want anorexia it's because I binge and I am not ok but I wanna be not ok in the other way bc at least then ppl would call me beautiful... It doesn't mean anything but it would be the thing keeping me from k¡lling myself...
This is so true
So true... I became very tired and wanted to change my body. I wanted perfect hourglass shape, big boobs, big ass, and tiny stomach. I was alright with my boobs and butt but I wanted a tiny stomach. I had a lot of Ed influences in my life at the time, one of them was a UA-camr who was severely under weight. She made it look not that bad and becides I didn't want to be under weight so I figured maybe I could do what these people are doing and lose a few pounds but after a while those skipped meals added up and before I knew it I had a full blown Ed. I wanted to stop so bad but I couldn't because the food I once loved now made me sad and sick to my stomach and i was never truly happy with what i saw in the mirror. Even though I was losing a lot of weight I was never under weight so nobody would help me and they still won't. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and talk to girl I use to be and tell her to hold on and don't give in because now I'm miserable and stuck in a cycle.
@@kristin5095 I know how u feel and you should get help with your binging but I pray you don't ever get ãnørêxia if you dont already have it. Its horrible and you'll never be able to just "quit". I use to think that it would save me but here I am sadder and suffering more than I ever did before. Please hold on and keep fighting. I don't know you but I believe your amazing and I hope you can find your way out. Stay strong dear💓💕❤🌹
Yo, you didn't need to express how having an ed is like that perfectly. We all crying
And for that one hour it feels like I am free 😭😭😭😭 this is so beautiful
2:55 im so thankfull for her cuz she could put all my pain into words that was beautiful,and finally i can cry about it,its hard when dont fell emontions turns normal in your life
Yes this one was by far my favorite. I cant wait for the day I can finally tell my body I'm sorry and truly mean it. I mean it now but it seems like every time I say I'm sorry I turn around and give into my Ed. Sometimes I cry because I know deep down I dont hate my body, I love it but my Ed has me so fucked that whenever I say I hate my body its not even me saying those things....
I just had a good moment and ate... but now I come back here...
I feel this 🥲 My coworker commented on how much I was eating and then I had to go to urgent care for a jaw issue and they weighed me and haven't been ok since. It's really tough to keep going and not fall back into it. But we can do this ❤
@@aplacetomentallyheal3979 I'm sorry...
I hope we get through this and will be able to love our bodies sometimes🤍
this got me crying way more than I want to admit...
“Now go ahead… eat your own words, because I’m not hungry” omg😫 that was such a good line
Well I’m crying now 😃👍
The part that resonated with me most was "I love the way you hold the people you care about most". I'm trying so hard to see my body as a vessel through which I experience life and happiness and sadness and other people and love, and not just the rolls on my stomach when I sit down or the way I don't have cheekbones or a jawbone or -...
No one ever realizes or noticed that I was walking through the path called the eating disorders, not even me, I thought I was just trying to maintain the weight not until I started crying over how I eat, how I look, comparing myself to my friends or any other skinny body, starving myself until I fall sick, trying to throw up myself when I overeat, I stop eating but when I lose my control I eat and eat until my stomach pain I would cry and write notes calling myself ugly and encouraging to not eat and exercise until I got a sore whole body when people started recognizing that I lose some weight I would feel happy and do it more and more, I would smile I get to touch my bone instead of my fats, I would always hesitate or get scared whenever my friends or family asked to eat foods
Live been so hard
‘some days are impossible’
it hits hard. living with eating disorder feels impossible. it’s like staying alive, but not living a life at all.
This is absolutely beautiful 🥺
this is my gosh dam life it hurts so much
The apology made me cry my hours out ❤️
TW poem
If you want to know what my ed is like here you go. I wake up at 9am everyday because Im so tired from not sleeping that night. When I get out of bed I check my weight to make sure those numbers have not increased if they do I feel like a failure and don't eat for that day and exercising to loose that pound or more I gained. I weigh myself 6 times a day crying because of how I look. My friends say Im skinny but I don't feel like that. I Lok at the calories on food items just to put it back. I cut my calories so I don't gain weight. I don't remember the taste of fried food or fast food only the taste of fruit veggies and water. I exercise so much Im sore and in pain. People say just loose weight the healthy way don't you think I have tried that I will exercise till Im bruised and pass out. I do those situps and runs everyday 4 times a day or more. Im sorry that I don't feel pretty or skinny and don't eat Im sorry I put you trough hell over and over. Im only 14 but that doesn't matter you can be any age gender or race to have an ed. I weigh 109.5 pounds but I need to loose more so I will do more situps on my bedroom floor till Im so bruised I can't take it anymore. So if you ask I am fine. That is what my ed is like
This is a really good poem yiu should try posting it somewhere and btw do you know the background music in this video?
the sad thing is im crying cos its not only relatable for me but for so many others
I switched to vegetarian at the beginning of 2021 just because I don’t like meat but when I went out with my super skinny aunt for dinner she said and I quote “why are u vegetarian cause it doesn’t look like u lost weight”. I didn’t answer her or finish my dinner. I then started to cut out lunch then after school snacks and then breakfast. I would say I was eating dinner at my friends houses and I lost 15 pounds very quickly. I’m 14 and 5’2 and currently I weigh 100.5 pounds but my lowest was on June 24 when I weighed 84.5. During the summer I recovered by myself but once school started I’m relapsing. Anytime my friends say I’m skinny I feel like they’re making fun of me even though they’re not. I purposely fall when they pick me up because I’m actually terrified that they’re not going to be able to pick me up and say I’m heavier than they thought. On my friends pool party birthday part u can see every bone on my chest and ribs. I got a very long text from them that night saying how they were concerned for me. The party was terrible because I was so cold in the pool and they didn’t understand so I almost started crying. Please I’m begging you do not restrict yourself at all. I binged a lot over the summer and please please please promise me you’ll nurture your body like your supposed to. Ily!
This made me cry. I love this. I hate it. It hurts me. I don't relate to the ED but I do relate the self resentment and the depression and the anxiety. I relate, I relate I relate. And I wish I didn't and I want to hug her because no one-NO ONE-should ever have to go through something like this.
To everyone struggling to recover I’m just telling you it is worth it. It’s not easy. Its hard, but when you start feeling better and living things in life you feel so free. It is so worth it.
And God bless her!
Pov: you don't like the food you eat, but you do it to become skinnier....
Wow that was beautiful. It really put into words how a lot of people feel and how terribly it can affect them not just physically but socially, emotionally and mentally
Chloe ting hit me hard
God bless us all!
I have had anorexia since I was a teenager. I’ve got more of a problem with weight gain than I do with knowing I’m mentally ill. So I’m happy the way I am.
💗💗 when you relate to this. You are one amazing person xx
:(
When I get hungry, I just eat pickles, they got close to no calories and also use mustard as a condiment the times I do eat, even though I hate it, cause it also has close to no calories. Why rack up calories when there are alternatives, right? I mean, I’m eating. They hurt my stomach so bad, but at least I ate something. Right?
Pls I'm crying thank you for this
These make me so sad. I'm not under weight even though ive lost a whole lot of it but I'm tired of not being happy and not feeling skinny enough. I'm tired of worshiping tiny sickly bodies trying to compete with them. I tired of one day feeling better and the next feeling like shit. I'm tired of one minute wanting to recover an the next wanting to get worse. But most importantly I'm tired of the lack of support and the constant fear that maybe I'm crazy and just faking. I'm sick of being alone...
Im inches close to becoming aneroxia
Im not alone
🆘
Off topic but this dancing paw patroll surprise at my local grocery store is rocking me to my core
so real
im not crying because this is relatable, you are!
welp here goes my nightly mental breakdown
TW:
I look in the mirror at different angles.
I know I’m skinny, but I’ll never be skinny enough.
I know I’m sick.
But I’m not sick enough to complain.
My friend tells me I’m finally gaining weight.
She says it like it’s a good thing.
And all those times you called me skinny could never make up for those words:
“Your gaining weight!”
I skipped a meal yesterday.
You asked if I was ok.
I said “yes”
All I need you to say is: “are you sure?”
Maybe then I would’ve opened up.
But you left me to rot.
I’m screaming and crying so loud but you cover your ears.
I’m falling but you don’t grab my hand.
Why can’t you help me like I help you?
Is what I’m going through invisible to you?
I guess I’m not sick enough to be cared for.
I guess I don’t deserve the happiness you have.
I guess I’m meant to rot.
It’s gods plan right?
Right?
..
Relatable to an unimaginable extent
eat your own words because i am not hungry .. wow
I do not have an eating disorder, but I feel most of this for some reason
1: there needs to be more talk about the other ones
2: its not worth it to lose weight, ive tried! i was in second grade when my FIRST ED apeard i thought i was to fat so i stopped eating, trust me ITS NOT WORTH IT!
andddd now i feel bad and am crying plssssssss
I have an eating disorder... The other day,a kid called me fat for being slow.... And guess what?... I'm only nine... 🙂
Sad it's relatable.
And I am crying
I'm not tired of it. You do you tho
I broke down at the uterus parr
this.
This is such an amazing poem does anyone know tye music plqying in the background?
in september 1 year had passed since my ed began.
i wonder if next september it will be 2.
@@evelynsmith3309 i wish, but i cant seem to let go. Thank you though
I feel like everyone talks about the eating disorders where you stop eating more and brush off the eating disorders where one cant stop eating..-
This really hits me i am 13 and i stoped eating Breakfeast and Lunch and trying not to eat dinner
Please be aware that you are beautiful..🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️
my god
meanwhile in cuba
Can u please upload more
What’s this song called
Which music is played as a background?
My dad he just gave me chocolate and i said no i just ate some he said stop lying u have to eat and i ate a little bit of the chocolate and now i feel so guilty i can’t throw it up💔
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who have anorexia :)
This was NOT a year ago😲
what is the name of the song 🥺🥺
gaining weight until I´m not underweight anymore and then thinking "Well now I can start again and loose a little bit of weight...just a little to be skinnier!"
You are
Anorexia really sucks -,- tbh