Today I went to the store and bought the birthday present, but couldn't go to the party and hand it over. It was my own sisters party, but still failed to attend due to the anxiety. My life is garbage. Has been this way for far too long.
When I'm at home, I watch a lot of UA-cam videos and read a lot of posts and i finally get the confidence . I'm like, "F*** it, I'm gonna do it," but then the next day, I just get all nervous again.
+OhmRepee I don't really think so. He's trying to get us to believe that our thoughts isn't real. It's just our imagination. Ugly isn't real, it's based off something you seen on TV or something. Like he said on the video, touch your nose, now touch stupid. You can't. I do realize that the thoughts aren't real but still got this damn anxiety keep returning.
People talk about social anxiety like its a problem that prevents good times at parties, but never mention grocery stores, traffic, elevators, literally everywhere else except a party. NO ONE WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY GOES TO A PARTY.
I have Social Anxiety and for the people who don't have it, you are lucky. You hear someone or a group of people laughing, you think its about you. You make eye contact and look away immediately and feel embarrassed. You talk to people quietly almost mumble like. You overthink things you would say more than you talk. Your opinion doesn't matter as much as the other persons, so it is never spoken. You almost feel like its rare when you're not blushing. You can't go a day without showering and if something is wrong, like a haircut looks the smallest amount weird or different to you, you become depressed. You don't want to see people and make conversation. You use excuses to hide the truth of whats bothering you. You almost just want to break down and cry, if you weren't too scared to cry. Social Anxiety is a horror and I live all of this in an everyday life. It's very hard and our minds are very complex. Now, for people with social anxiety, what I did to help overcome anxiety was to start designing. Even drawing or sketching can help. Instead of talking to people about problems I just draw my feelings out and I almost feel like a normal person. Don't let it control you, live your life as much as you can :) I hope this helped describe what it's like to you guys
***** a very hardcore one. It's like feeling shy even when you're alone because you think about that time ten years ago in a discussion with friends when you said like something and you were kidding but someone mocked you or felt offended for. Now it's 3 in the morning and your brain remembers it and now you feel like hiding, which is stupid because you're like in bed alone or something.
1:45 Understanding social anxiety 3:20 what creates social anxiety 5:00 understanding self image 7:10 the reason we care about others opinions. •The 3 fundamental reasons 1. 17:10 your happiness is based on others opinions 2. 18:23 your afraid of losing who you are 3. 21:58 you don't feel good enough 26:08 why having a self image is bad 32:18 how to overcome social anxiety • The 7 Exercises/Questions 1. 33:25 you're not who you think you are 2. 38:11 you are you no matter what 3. 40:22 Question your thoughts 4. 42:40 everything is subjective 5. 44:17 your actions don't define you 6. 45:54 you're the observer not the thought 7. 47:12 you have no free will 52:42 conclusion
@@jpcash8012 no problem. But the reason I wrote this comment was to help myself because I found this video very helpful but to long. But I'm glad I was able to help u too
@Raven I understand why you would believe in free will. I personally dont. However, don't let that one thing stop you from taking the great advice of this video.
@Raven my beliefs on free will doesn't come from any traumatic event. It is simply my belief that peoples actions are entirely influenced by the external world and genetics. I do appreciate other peoples view on the matter though and I always have room for a change in my beliefs given enough evidence.
I just want to say to all the people who have social anxiety, I give you a huge hug. Because it's horrible to always hear the 'it's all in your head' or 'just stop being shy' or 'just go out more'. It truly is like a prison, but I promise you're not alone, you're not 'pathetic' and it's not your fault to be feeling this way. If you try your best, you'll get better, slowly but surely. /hugs/ ♥
I've been fighting through it, and its gotten a lot better than whatvit used to be. Just that somedays i get that social anxiety attack and all goes yo shit for the next couple of days.
yeah, acceptance is first..i felt shameful today though, but its all good..just do your best to get out of it, in every step of the way, and dont expect anything just do your best, i believe this is gonna be healing
I used to suffer from social anxiety for over 20 years. Now after using a specific method I can leave the house and start conversations with random strangers. Learn this method here: MootSpeak.xyz
It really is an awful disease that has held me back so much in life: 1. I’ve never had a girlfriend because I’m so scared of rejection from asking women out and what people will think when they see me approaching a woman 2. I’ve lost what little friends I had because a voice in my head which keeps saying they don’t like me so I avoided them and they in return avoided me 3. I can’t have lunch with my coworkers because I get so scared they will judge me as the quiet boring loner 4. I have no hobbies or interests because of my low self esteem which leaves me scared to try new things 5. I obsess over one sentence I said to someone for an entire day replaying it over and over 6. Constantly feeling like no one likes me so I feel anger towards others for rejecting me and angry at myself for not being better
it's tough bro , I went through many lonely years cause of the same problem , not alone, I met my wife through dating site, she is pretty and prefers quiet guys , so always a girl out there 👍
Whenever I hear someone laughing around me, I'll become self conscious and start fixing my hair, brushing my outfit off, wiping my face, etc. sometimes when I'm hanging out with friends my mind will tell me they don't really like me and they're only my friend out of pity and I'll become awfully sad. Even when I'm alone I feel like somebody is watching me and judging my movement. This feeling feels disgusting and I hate it so much.
Pickled Okra Whenever you feel anxious just keep telling yourself that those thoughts only exist in YOUR mind. I know this sounds easier said than done but I'm telling you....its been six days since I watched this video...his method works! As soon as you have an anxious thought, you have to train your mind to realize, immediately, that those negative thoughts are not tangible. Fear...you cant touch it, see it etc so just let it go whenever you feel it...it's not real. Same goes with worry...it exists in your mind only. You can and will overcome this. Hang in there! You have to re-train your mind. Watch this over as many times as you need to and truly grasp what he is saying! You got this!!!
Pickled Okra No problem! One more thing, when you first begin to re-train your mind, the physical symptoms (or gestures) of anxiety will still manifest, because that is what your body is used to automatically doing, in social situations....do not be discouraged, keep on trying. The symptoms will cease. Your body is only following your thoughts. Just remember that the core of social anxiety is poor self image. We tend to automatically believe the "bad" of how we think others are perceiving us. It's all imaginary, and silly quite frankly, when you think about it. But we're going to stop those "bad" thoughts right in their track. I'm happy i could help you! :)
applebug hello I just came in y'all's conversation but I need help so when I'm in large crowds I get social anxiety like my eyes start watering for some reason and I Begin swalowing alot but I'd I'm even with one friend I feel normal like I could embarrass myself on purpose and not care it's like nothing but what's weird it's that my eyes water alot some people come up to me and say 'are you crying?' but I say no and then makeup some excuse I really hope this helps thx for your time
Brayan Medina The eye thing has happened to me a couple of times. It sounds as if you're unconsciously hyperventilating and air swallowing, that's a common symptom of anxiety. You are not alone. Hang in there!
I just want my life back. I know my behavior is irrational, and tell myself this. That is what is troubling about social anxiety and what makes it more demeaning, knowing you have a problem and being unable to do anything about it. A perceived sense of hopelessness. I just want to not feel judged by everyone. To not feel awkward talking with friends, family, and strangers. I want to be able to answer questions in class without my heart beating uncontrollably causing me to not speak up. I want to be able to talk on the phone with strangers, set doctor's appointments, etc. I want a sense of optimism. I want friends. It seems unfair that I should have this disorder sometimes, but it is what it is. Never giving up though, someday I'll be over it. much respect to those with SAD trying to do something about it.
@@filipemartins1850 No.. the only person who has the power to "deliver" you from social anxiety is yourself. Sorry, Jesus can't help here. He would have helped long ago.
“I just want my life back” this shit made me tear up bro i relate to every single part of this, truly a mental hell and there seems to be NO ESCAPE I’ve tried EVERYTHING
i have social anxiety and the thing about my anxiety is that im not afraid to go places or to do things alone its just the fact that i think people will judge me for doing this or doing that. I always think someone is bad talking me or making fun of me and it prevents me from being myself. Most times im afraid of talking to new people because i think that they'll respond with one word answers and ill look like an idiot
Ask yourself "What would be the worst possible thing they could think of me?" Then ask yourself "Do I believe that about myself?" Be really honest about your answer. If you believe it, then question whether this "trait" or "adjective" actually describes who you are. Good luck!
Systemic exposure therapy. You can't give yourself the rule "my heart shouldn't race, I shouldn't be anxious", it'll only lead to cognitive distortions, disappointment, frustration and a sense of ineptitude. It's really okay to be anxious; in fact, it's a sign that you're facing your fears in a social setting. It's hard, but the best way to overcome anxiety is to keep being exposed to the experience(crowds, social situations) without the negative stimuli (self-attacks, magnification of faults, disqualifying the positives, etc). Once it clicks that the negative consequences of social encounters aren't devastating or catastrophic, your fear will slowly go down and you'll finally have room to breathe, grow, and think clearly. Keep facing your fears, and prove to yourself that you're okay as you are, you're lovable, and the social encounters you have aren't half as bad as you think they are! Wish you the best.
Turns out that is not the case. I thought so too, but I'll just give you this clue...That which you resist persists. By fighting it you're fueling it. Acceptance is the answer in the beginning. Check out Dr. Thomas A. Richards's Recordings and Handbook. Peace.
This is incredible. I never thought that it could be so easy. I have had social anxiety for approximately 9 years without even knowing what was wrong with me. It ruined my social life and made me miss many oppurtunities. I watched this video 5 days ago and I lost 70% of my social anxiety. I can walk freely on the street, go to the supermarket and even go to parties without the feeling of crippling anxiety. I have never felt so free. Thank you so much! The only problem is that now I expect myself to master every situation perfectly, which creates the fear of failure. I will try to work on that problem. Besides I have to practice starting conversations, telling stories and small-talk.
The 7 Questions 1. Who are you right now? 2. Are you, you in every moment? 3. Can you think of a few reasons or examples of why the opposite may be true? 4. Could somebody else think the opposite? 5. Were you you before you had whatever you think you are now? 6. Who is aware of the story of you? 7. Are you to blame for whatever good or bad you think you are?
Hardest part is when you're late for class, because as soon as you open the door you're the centre of attention, I avoid getting late because of this, I can't stand people looking at me let alone a class.
I’ve been watching social anxiety videos because I’ve been trying to get rid of my social anxiety. Watching this makes me cry. It’s so hard to get people to understand how severe this is without them telling you to shrug it off. I feel so alone
I'm a CBT therapist and someone who's dealt with ADHD oriented anxiety my entire life. You're not alone. It can't just be shrugged off. It can be managed though! You can change your view of yourself and those around you and how they impact you. Be patient throughout the change process. It may take as long to learn to manage as it did to develop. But it's a journey, appreciate even every little step growth you take. One day at a time. At one point you'll realize you have made it, and you will be stronger for it. Best wishes and good vibes.
I watched this over a year ago, and a lot of my social anxiety has been resolved due to watching this. Thank you so much!! It truly opened my mind, and made me realise that I should NOT be stressed about who I am and labels in any given situation.
I dont know but I find this touching , i have social anxiety , I lose my speech when talking, am always carried away when am among people, I feel down on myself, I let people show me who I am, I weigh myself down, I run away of little things that hurts me, I make mistakes, I feel no one cares and love me, I feel I have no friends, everyone thinks am crazy, some think I have a bad memory, I keep thinking and feel sad each day, I just want to be happy, you made my day, although I cried, because the depression and anxiety has been with me for a very long time , I still dont know how to get it out of my head, while I was a little kid , my grandmother beat me and I start ed growing hatred for her and people around me, but my mum says she loves me but the feeling can come off , I need help, I want to forget these things, I want to be a new person , I need someone to talk to and I think friends help with anxiety or depression, we need to surround ourselves with people who can build up our self esteem, say positive things to us, overall you did a good job, thanks
coco late I feel you. I have lots of friends but when I get told something negative, I feel that nodding and smiling will help... but it doesn't. I express myself when I'm around close friends but cower behind curtains when I meet people who I'm not close to... Sometimes I feel I want to be alone, but once I'm alone I get mad at myself because I feel like a loser who everyone hates. I never fully understood how some people say random crap and easily make friends without awkward conversations and express there selves around anyone... When I'm put in a awkward moment in which I feel powerless I just try to smile, when that awkward moment is over I sulk and think about how embarrassingly stupid and speechless I was and I start to look at my future self and think, "Wow, what a lonely loser..." Its so bad. Even with friends around I feel lonely and hollow inside...
@@virginiagamez6299 no not really it’s like, what are you gonna be at the end of your story, what did you accomplish, what kind of person, or is anyone gonna view as just a awkward person when I die .. idk something like that
It's because you yourself do not like yourself enough and you judge yourself too hard. Stop. Start looking at yourself and admiring not judging! Be nice to you! Talk nice to youself! Smile in the mirror! Work on loving who you are, forget others! Let me tell you something - you are a great person! Now you say it to yourself :)
I'm nervous of not being able to finish a story or half way through I'll lose track and look bad. Or that my stories aren't interesting or boring to others... My conversations don't flow well, so I'd rather not say anything at all.
+Bazzington James when you are telling a story put some feeling in it, ''impress'' them with facial expresions,shaking your hands ets.and have fun! ;) :D
+Bazzington James Hmm, if by stories you mean things about yourself, then how much satisfaction do you get from listening to others talk about meaningful personal things, especially things that you're willing to take the risk of asking, that you're truly interested in knowing?
I see myself as a listener - I take a lot of pride in listening to others stories or conversations, but when it comes to telling my own i see them as being lacking when compared to their stories. Though I have had a great life full of stories so far... I'm just no good at telling them.
Well I'm happy at least that you enjoy listening! You know that's providing real value and I hope you get tons of appreciation for it! And I also hope you don't stress out too much over your so-called bland self-narration. If you've had a great life as you say, I'd presume that to matter way more than anything else.
It was so easy socializing when I was a kid but now it’s damn to hard Since I care about what people think of me. My whole family is out going, while there is me the odd one :,)
@@elefont100 Practicals are important. Join public speaking courses even if you feel uneasy. . They can transform you. To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives good relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. When taking a walk, at office, at home, when reading, before sleep etc observe your breath sensations. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes--Counsellor.
Letting go has been probably the most powerful thing for me. I always tried to find explanations etc but it only brought more stress. Instead, let go and try not to control your surroundings. What ever happens, it's ok.
love this! i think when we focus too much on our anxiety and trying to "fix" it then we make it worse coz it's reinforcing that there is something wrong.
Get Dr. Thomas A. Richard's therapy package; Overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder: Step by Step. 20 Tapes/Audio files and a booklet of handouts. It'll change your life for the better forever. Nothing to it but to Do It. ;)
I tried this yesterday at work, and I felt so much more clear headed. I was actually able to focus on my job and worry less about others around me! thanks
I used to have terrible social anxiety. I never said a single word in school, and only expressed myself through an anonymous account on a writing site. Now, I still have social anxiety. But it's not even close to how bad it used to be. I talk with friends, and can even be loud at times. I still feel anxiety a lot, but I'm enjoying my life, and I get anxiety attacks less and less each day. Don't give up guys.
I need help 😪 no one understands me and I just feel like dying schools almost starting and I'm so quite but people try to talk to me I try to be polite but it always comes out as a whisper and they don't hear me
+That1GuythatTellsUkys Hey pal, if people are coming up to you to talk to you, that means that you are interesting to them. Also, they are coming to talk to you because you are polite and genuinely kind to them. Remember, that it's not about the volume of your voice, but the content of your words, which I think you're great at :)
15 years I have been miserable and messing up jobs and relationships as a direct result of anxiety....and you come along and, in less than an hour, remove the mental block I have had for that entire time!! I cannot thank you enough, mate.
I know this came out a while ago but if anyone in the comments see this you arent alone I understand it and I know its hard. I cant even go to the grocery store without thinking someones watching and judging every move, or that I have to fit in to be liked and alter my personality. Take your time getting over this I believe in you
This is one of the most important videos I’ve seen in my lifetime. After watching this, I had a huge realization of what he’s saying a few days later. One of the most life changing realizations I’ve had to this date.
@@filipemartins1850 I love Jesus but i wonder why Adam couldn't help me afterall he was born without even a mother.. or why mosses couldn't help me while he was able to split the sea and God has granted him with so much power.. what i think is that All of these prophets came to connect people to their only one God and their teachings got fabricated with time and people added myths and stories to actual accounts.hope that make sense to u.. ☺️
My family has played a major hand in my anxiety and depression. I've had to stand up for myself my whole life to them only be made out as dramatic, mean, angry, etc. So for me, not putting up with mistreatment from family is what has caused a lot of my issues.
Aye mon Chit, sorry if it might seem personal. but could you give a brief description of how your life was before and how your life changed after? I would be interested in knowing
This helped my husband so much. It helped him realize social anxiety is just a story he tells In His head. It helped him to be able to go to public places and not worry about what everyone else is thinking about him. We just wanted to thank you so much for sharing.
We should really stop giving a fuck about what people might think about us. I mean why should it matter? Are they better than us? NO! I see so many confident people that are less atractive or smart or talented than me and I always wonder why cant I be confident??? Why do I let my self think I m any less than I really am? I am not and none of us are! Let me tell you you are way more special than you think. and you deserve the world.Go out and get it!
I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to finally getting my break through. I always think deep down that I don't believe in myself, but I feel it changing day by day.
This is actually brilliant and to answer the question "who are you without the self image?" You are consciousness. You are the awareness that is observing all you're beliefs and self programming. You are not a personality. You are the observer of that personality. Update: I tried this for the first time today and it works great! Thank you Noah! As someone who has suffered with social anxiety disorder for years, You have saved my life. Thank you for reminding me of who i truly am.
I think that’s equally as depressing. If we’re all just awareness and our “personalities” are just a figment of our imagination, why even bother interacting with anyone? Who are we without our identities? literally nothing
after 30 years of disabling anxiety, this is the first time that i can actually seeing myself overcoming it enough to atleast leave my house and get my mail. thank you so very much for putting it in a way that makes sense to me ,
@@theavastark6463 Hi Ava, yes, yes I am much better, I have learned that one has to be patient with their progress, it's not like you just wake up one morning and it's not there, but if you put some of your time and energy into getting better and the biggest thing that helped me out the most was to learn that almost everyone has anxiety about certain things in life, us that have anxiety from the time we wake until we go to sleep and always wondering what people think about us, well it just takes a bit of time learning what it is that is causing it, and I found that whenever I listen to videos like Noah says, and I know that we think that no one understands how we feel, but the core that he talks about, it's so true if you spend time working on it. I am sure that you are going to be fine. Thank you for asking me.
I found myself nodding my head a lot watching this video. So many 'ahhh haaa' moments. I can't wait to watch the rest. unfortunately my social anxiety rules my life and stops me from pursuing so many things. I actually turn red so it's not just in my head, it shows on the outside. I hope this helps me to be free. Thank you 😊
Lauren Eyton I get a red specked rash all over my cheeks and chest. It’s so frustrating. I think a lot of it is in our heads. Face your fears! Don’t let it stop you!
You are so spot on! I've never thought about it in this way. I have social anxiety and people, UA-cam videos and therapists tell me to 'face it head on, face your fears, go out and just do it, love yourself, you need more confidence!'. It never works, in fact it makes it worse! This has helped SO much! It's so simple yet so obvious! So thank you
StephanieRayner its hard because every situation and location is different, but if you face your anxiety in the same place over and over again, you will get rid of it completely, it worked for me in speaking in front of a classroom but for example in a cafe or public place like that its still REALLY hard for me, not to mention i blush like crazy so thats a huge give away 🙁
Haven't updated my facebook profile picture in 3 years. Because I am too afraid that I won't get enough likes because I haven't been in contact with most of my friends on social media so I know I am going to lack the number of likes I used to get. Now I realise that I'm simply "not popular" and I have now accepted that fact. That was just ONE of my social anxiety disorders.
Potato Carrot I actually did it the next night, All stories in my head is actually not true. felt so good and proud a few moments after my upload, Btw, i did get multiple likes just saying. :)
Noodle Poodle You got a point, i made it sound like "likes" the only thing i cared about. but the point i was trying to make was that the stories and thoughts in my head was not true. Although "likes" do feel good, not gonna lie. Just being honest :)
Thank you to everyone who responded and shared their story, even if this was posted 5 years ago. Everyone doesn’t know, at least for me how important and comforting it is to hear other people’s story and how SAD personally impacts their lives. It’s hard to remember sometimes that we’re truly not alone in our pain-stories and with SAD it’s difficult to remember that when you feel like the entire world hates you and is judging your every move. You feel so alone and rejected by the world. It can feel like you can’t do ANYTHING right, you can’t even get being yourself right😭so hearing everyone’s experiences reminds me that there are people out there crying for the same reasons I am. Seriously reading these comments feel like some type of therapy, it sort takes me out of this black hole that I can find myself in sometimes and it’s like, what a minute I’m not the only one going through this shit!?? 😂thank y’all so much🥰🥰🥰
Noah, I waited my whole life for a person tell me exactly what you just said. I searched many doctors, priests, psychologists and friends, and they never answered what´s wrong with my life. The problem is that we create a self-image so fragile, in our heads, although we are capable, we are smart, but we depend on other´s approval, we really have little self-confidence, at the point that if 1 million people tell us that we are not good enough, we don´t care and go ahead, because we know who we are. The underlying problem is that we don´t know ourselves sufficiently well. People can´t harm us, if the enemies inside us don´t hurt us first. Thank you so much !
To ALL social anxiety sufferers, I finally really understood what Noah is saying, and it's definetely so true and the way to lose our social anxiety. it has to do with complete self acceptance and giving up our self image. i dont go about it the same way Noah does and I dont use the same methods he does, but the process is the same. there is hope!
I swear to you…I am 59 and I have struggled with severe social anxiety for my whole life. I’m not exaggerating when I say this video has changed my life! Thank you
My Social Anxiety is probably the worst because I can't even be around a baby... I can't go anywhere without my Sunglasses on.. I can't work ... I just can't do anything... It would be nice to get support from family but I can't be around them.... smh... it's like a prison....
Man I know it's hard and yes I have social anxiety so I know what you're feeling, I've been trying to get over it and I feel like it's getting better bit by bit anyway think about it this way, all of us are humans we are all the same (mostly).. Like I understand u and if I were to be living where you're living in, I'd try to be friends with u and help u out so if I can understand u there's obviously a lot mote people that can understand the way u feel.. Idk I'm really bad at explaining things and shit.. But all I'm saying is just fuck everything and try to be social, that's what I do and yes it's hard but what's the worst that could happen? Right now all I do is stay alone in my room and be alone at school and feel like shit so I decided to just TRY to talk with people as much as I can cause why the fuck would I be afraid? Obviously just being afraid and hiding didn't help me at all.. Cause when I'm alone I feel like shit So yea my point is just keep practicing to be more social,👍🏽
What Up Congratulations man, keep getting better and better. I myself am still slowly getting better bit by bit too, but I'm going to continue to try and do everything I can possibly do to get rid of this. It will take time, but you'll get through it if you try your best
I have social anxiety, and I'm trying like hell to beat this. This video is a good place for me to look at some things differently. Thank you all for sharing because as you all know SAD makes you feel all alone, and to hear that others go through it too helps a lot to show it's not just you!!
Angel, Practicals are important. Join public speaking courses. How are you now? To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives good relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. When taking a walk, at office, at home, when reading, before sleep etc observe your breath sensations. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes--Counsellor.
My social anxiety is the following: I’m super open in the first meeting but afterwards I just get close and believe they will find it “ who I really am” and reject me. At home I heard a lot - you are this - you are bad - you are dirty - you break everything- So I was like how can people like me? Ow if they find out how I really am (words of my mom) they won’t like me and reject me. That’s me scared of deep connection. This shit is holding me back for years.
That’s exactly how I feel. First connections are the easiest but after that I don’t really know how to move forward with building a connection. At the same time I’m painfully afraid of letting people get close to me and finding out the real me cause I’m scared they’ll reject the real me.
That’s exactly what I’m suffering too, I thought I’m destined for loneliness for the disability of developing longer and deeper connection. Sometimes I build a nice and calm fantasy of growing old with a cat for myself cause kitty would be always by my side and never know who I am 😂 your comment really brought warmth to my day, just want to give you a hug and wish us the very very best（really hope you are doing much better now after 3 years)🥰🥰
Try to be more aware of your breathing. Your body and your mind are not separate, so where body goes the mind must follow (& vice versa). You can't actually breath deeply and have your heart racing at the same time.
I've need to doctors, I've been on medication I have tried everything and I have never felt the feeling I am feeling now, I feel so light, like a massive weight that had been holding me down for my whole life has now been lifted. thank you, thank you THANK YOU!
I like that fact that you say “lose a piece of your self image” when you are explaining what a Guru or Mystic calls “transcending the Ego”....love it!! Thanks for sharing!! You are a gift to this world! 🥰
Thank you SO much. My SA has gotten so bad recently that I can’t sit with my best friend of _nine years_ at lunch without worrying about my arm position looking awkward or my voice being too quiet. It feels like a prison where you over analyze EVERYTHING. You worry about the way you’re breathing. You worry about the people staring at you. You worry about not being able to carry a conversation. You stutter, blush, air-swallow. You isolate yourself in your room for months because you’re scared of having to make eye contact with and speak to people. I can’t even order food at a restaurant without thinking my eye contact looks too awkward or freezing up and stuttering. There’s never a moment when you’re not worrying. It’s always like this low fog of dread hanging over you 24/7. Despite this, I’m trying to change and I’m looking into therapy or medication. Reading these comments makes me feel like I’m not alone. We’ll beat this!!
I've become such a recluse and rarely expose myself to situations I deem uncomfortable that I forget I even have social anxiety, sometimes. It's great. 🙄
+Fax same shit bro, i'm so confused, "i'm anxiety free" (can talk to people as a normal person xD) when speaking in public and sometimes meeting strangers. When i'm with friends, family, etc it's the same shit, i'm a "mummy"... wtf
+Fax I suffer from the exact same thing. It's so frustrating and strange how we can make a speech and do okay while talking with people after is what kills us. You're not alone!
Yeah that's exactly what happens to me, I can sing in front of a crowd and I'm not to nervous, other people around me who are really confident get more nervous than me but when it comes to making conversation or looking people straight in the eyes I have no idea what to say so I don't say anything and people think I'm weird and I constantly worry about other peoples opinions.
I'm watching this before my first training shift as a waitress tomorrow. I woke up already sick to my stomach and knew I had to do something about this. Its been 15 minutes now of watching this video and my stomach is settling and the fact that I'm actually breathing at a normal pace completely distracted me from the video.. ❤ thank you!
I practice Buddhism. I lived in Nepal. I go to dialectical based therapy. I meditate. My husband lives this truth and tells me this truth. It was not until I watched your videos that I believed this truth in all its fullness. I cannot explain this. Perhaps you were the proverbial 7th person for me. I had the “Office Space” moment last week after watching just one of your videos. Thank you for sharing these truths. The creation of me, of I, is the function of the brain in this body in this moment. The brain and this body is always changing and will eventually cease to exist. Therefore I do not exist and I have never existed, as me. There is no static me or I. And at the same time, my body is made up of particles of the universe, quite literally, the dust of stars that exploded. And so, my consciousness is simply the universe knowing itself for as long as my brain continues to function. When one realizes this truth, then one realizes that good, bad, happiness, sadness, pain, comfort is not forever real, and therefore practicing letting go of every thought and every emotion and every feeling in each moment eliminates suffering. There is still happiness, sadness, pain and comfort as feelings both physical and mental but letting go of the desire to not be sad, in pain, uncomfortable, etc.eliminates suffering and allows us to just...be.
I used to have social anxiety for over 6 years. I found a great resource online that lowered my anxiety level and now I can leave the house. Go here now to learn some great treatment options for social anxiety: MootSpeak.xyz
Something that is helping me is exposure . The more places I go by myself the less I worry . & the more times I throw myself in an uncomfortable situation, I learn from it . Sometimes it’s embarrassing but hey 🤷🏾♀️ it is what it is
I've been in the house for months. I can't get on the bus and I don't have a car. I'm spending tons of money on delivery because I can't go to the store.
Does anyone else feel like social anxiety makes it feel like you have 2 different personalities?? The real you and you in social situations? I just want to be myself, and hopefully by the end of the video I can! Only people with social anxiety can understand how hard it is... It's hard to go to school and I have no friends and feel like I'm constantly being watched and judged but I need to get myself to understand it's all in my head.
I can't even walk around the people, I feel shy,when I walk I cant move my arms it really fu**ing me and also I don't know how I'm making eyes contact with other people's 😥😥
Ajay Stn I feel the same way. I’m struggling with this and I’m a believer in Jesus Christ as the Lord. It’s still my faith but I struggle with the eye contact and feeling confident speaking and talking face to face. It’s awkward. My faith though in Jesus keeps me going because I believe he is the Redeemer who will make all things new and whole one day and will start that process once we believe in Him and that He died in our place on the cross to forgive us of all the wrong things we have done. This brings us the Holy Spirit who teaches us that we are no longer a slave to the lusts of the world, but are free. It does not make you perfect though in our own lives. Only with God you are made perfect. In this life we are not and have to overcome things like anxiety
Reading alll these comments made me realize that everyone with social anxiety is funny creative seems fun to be around beautiful and they all have a pure soul it’s soo sad how we don’t enjoy life to it’s fullest and always back off great opportunities in life :,) I love all of u and reading all thee comments made me realize that I’m not alone in this fight I have sisters and brothers that r in this with me too I trust in us we can do it and over come it
yes they are , his voice is very kind and sweet too, no wonder he made this Video to help us People, he is an Angel. and just came by his Videos today.
Im here because I want to help my friend. She has so much social anxiety that she thinks that she have dissorders but the fact is she is an amazing person. Thanks alot!
Unfortunately, I just don't know who am I. I wish I could answer those questions but I don't know if I'm happy or unhappy, funny or boring. I have no idea what I would say if somebody were to ask me to describe myself. I think I have social anxiety because I don't know who I am and I can't relate to anybody which is frustrating. I don't know how to deal with this type of SA
But that's exactly what this video is saying; you are you. You shouldn't be able to describe yourself - that's what Noah is trying to get us to forget. Saying you are happy does not make you happy. You shouldn't have to tell yourself you are happy to be happy. You should be you, because that's all that matter. More specifically, you cannot define "you". You are you, regardless of what any word means. You may perform actions in everyday life, but even those are considered differently by other people. If you are sitting in a room of people, and you randomly get up and start singing, people perceive that differently. On one side, someone could think you must be a happy person to be singing at such a random time. Whereas the other side might think you're crazy for doing something at that particular moment. It's all just perception of people. If you truly think of your social anxiety, you'll more then likely find that you are scared of something. For me, I'm scared of people thinking I'm stupid or that I'm weird. I find my social anxiety coming from my confidence (looks), and what I say (sometimes I say the wrong word, or stutter, or get lost for words, etc), and the whole time all I'm thinking about is what the other person must think of me. Next time you feel yourself getting nervous or anxious, just truly analyze the situation and try and pin point what in that time period made you feel the way you did. Then try to manipulate what went wrong and try it again, this time with the new mindset. Hope this cleared things up a little bit. Just give it a try!
Jeffyboyy I HAVE THE SAME THING AS YOU MAN! However, I'll be super self conscious and try so hard not to be weird that it backfires and I feel weird again
if someone cares about others opinions so much, how can he even speak to someine he angered?if you ignore your feelings so much you will undoubtedly get lost, as i did just yesterday.but when i stop to ask "what am i feeling , what do i want to do?" and trh to just act its smooth sail.
I don't know, this seems an overly complex method of dealing with social anxiety. Nobody has control over their self image. We can't just turn it on and off like a switch. The best way, in my opinion, to deal with social anxiety is through exposure. If you force yourself to step beyond your comfort zone at least once a day, you'll find your confidence grows each time. In fact, exposure is the number one method of treating most phobias. I used to be petrified of speaking on the phone. Then one day I was offered a job at a travel agency where I would need to be talking with customers on the phone for at least 4 hours per day. I almost declined taking the job because of my anxiety. However, 3 weeks into the job and I was speaking on the phone effortlessly. My confidence had increased tremendously through exposure alone. It even made me more confident when I was speaking to people outside of the office. Repeated exposure and practice. Remember, all humans have a certain amount of anxiety and that's perfectly normal. Your self-image is who you are. Without your self image you're only flesh and bone. Anxiety is simply a condition that is present in all humans and animals.
Self-image is what a person thinks of themselves. An imagination of yourself. Thoughts about who you are. So self-image isn't who you are. It's what you think of yourself. I'm glad your situation worked out for you, but everyone has different situations and thought processes. Videos like this can help people having trouble processing their thoughts and feelings to help themselves deal with their stress or anxiousness about social situations. You thought you shouldn't take the job. Then you thought you should. Some people need help with the thought(s).
Self-image is what a person thinks of themselves. An imagination of yourself. Thoughts about who you are. So self-image isn't who you are. It's what you think of yourself. I'm glad your situation worked out for you, but everyone has different situations and thought processes. Videos like this can help people having trouble processing their thoughts and feelings to help themselves deal with their stress or anxiousness about social situations. You thought you shouldn't take the job. Then you thought you should. Some people need help with the thought(s).
With what he is saying, you might be a murder at the time of murdering perhaps, but it is not who you are at every second of every day. The media would say different, but this is just another way of thinking about yourself and life.
alittlepinkfreak I disagree. I think that if you're a murderer, you're always a murderer. It's part of the fabric of your brain and cannot be removed. Does it really matter if you didn't murder someone today? Just like being gay or straight is part of your identity and cannot be removed or ignored. I do understand the point he's trying to make. However, I also think it's a good recipe for delusional behaviour. He not only wants people to remove their "self image" (identity), but also to remove their emotions and feelings. He said something on the lines of "what is stress if you can't see it?" Just because you can't see or touch something, doesn't mean it's not real. When someone says they're a stressed person, well then they are a stressed person. Stress is a physical ailment and causes high blood pressure, large amounts of cortisol and adrenaline in your system. He expects people to just ignore this by imagining it's not real?
This video is so helpful. I suffer from anxiety really badly, but after watching this video , I have a better understanding of who I am and more I feel better about myself.
This video helped me a lot. I've always had social anxiety, but I just thought that I could force it to go away by putting myself into situations that made me uncomfortable. This never worked, but after watching this video, it made me look at things from a different perspective and makes me feel better about myself. I know this video is 3 years old, but if anyone sees this, just know that you are who you are and you shouldn't let others change that.
Excellent - bottom line ‘I am’. So much to learn yet so simple. I will listen (and question) many times. Blessings and much gratitude to you. Hannah Worsfold, Devon, South West England
What you're saying applies only to people whose self-image is dependent on external feedback rather than on their own. Not everyone is like that. And to these latter ones, statements of value exist not only in their heads, but also as tangible facts that are entirely independent from someone else's opinion. Some who do not know me intimately may refer to me as 'generous', but i have observed my own reactions & thoughts concerning self-interests, and i know for a FACT that i'm utterly selfish. A woman can see that she totally sucks as a mother by watching the behaviour of her emotionally unstable, belligerent & self-obsessed daughter, regardless of how good a mum others may say she is. Rejection by others is much less of a problem when there's self-acceptance & contentment. And contentment & self-acceptance are rooted in the self-image. Now, one will obviously be a lot more lenient with oneself when one was given plenty of love while growing up. It is when that love was lacking, as it is probably the case with most viewers here, that the catastrophe of a handicapped self-image arises. And one tries to make up for it by filling up the holes with external feedback, which can be likened to pouring water into a woven wicker basket expecting it to hold it. You too are suggesting mechanisms aimed at trying to compensate for the lack of love received as a child. He who was loved abundantly & grew up in a harmonious environment, will not experience disabling anxieties as an adult.
Wow! I have been searching for the longest while for some relief to my anxiety and constant discomfort. You have hit the nail directly on the head. Wonderful explanation. I’m thankful I rediscovered you.
You can think yourself into invincible if you want to. The problem is that it is not about thinking. You are dealing with very old circuitry and it is not your conscious that is the problem. There is an automatic subconscious element at play that is beyond your ability to control. It is the auto system that forces you to move before you think. The system that jerks your hand off a hot burner before your brain can process the information. The imprint of trauma or highly frightening experiences doesn’t ‘sit’ in the verbal, understanding part of the brain, but in the much deeper regions of the amygdala, hippocampus, hypothalamus and brain stem, which are only marginally affected by thinking and cognition. (van der Kolk) Therefore our fear related memories can be so unconscious, they were never processed by the thinking part of the brain but only by the feeling/sensing part of it. Our cortex shuts down when we’re very frightened. Consequently, our frightening experience doesn’t get thought through, understood and integrated. But even though the cortex is not operating normally, the sensing/feeling parts of our brain/body system are still functioning.
Exactly. It’s basically ptsd. I’m going to try EDMR therapy but I actually have ptsd as well. Some people think hypnotherapy works-I’m not so sure because I’ve never tried it. In some situations I’m perfectly fine, but when I’m triggered it’s all physiological. And when it’s physiological there is no calming down. I can’t take deep breaths, I can’t think my way out of it because my body is in fight or flight. The only thing that helps is propranolol because it slows down my heart rate. I think there are ways we can re-program our subconscious, but it takes a lot of work, practice, and healing.
C.A. Honeycutt I have. It hasn’t really worked for me, but I only did it for about 6 months so it is possible I need another practitioner or just need to power through it longer. Have you?
Man you are truly awesome, I lost my self-image and I felt like there is no weakness in me that people can hit and cause me to suffer and I started to see everyone equal..I cant thank you enough, I can look at people in the eye without struggle... I can keep steady happy face and i can talk with everyone
This video was amazing. I've never considered the idea of my own self image before and the way it can be shaped and questioned to beat anxiety disorders. Moving forward I will be using all 7 questions on a daily basis to get a deeper connection with my thoughts and my personal self image. Thank you for this video. You've done a great service for those of us that suffer on a daily basis from anxiety disorders.
I have social anxiety going to my two classes... the people just scare me in these classes... I don't really know how to explain it.My other classes I feel comfortable and fine; perhaps that's due to my professor(s) and peers.... but it's frustrating at times because my chest feels uneasy or tight and I can't sit still and I feel like I can't breathe; allowing me not to be able to focus! I also noticed that depending on the lighting or the tightness of the room it can cause more anxiety in me. I just hope that one day, I can go to my classes and feel great and relaxed! Thanks for the video!
"I read a lot of books, but just one of your videos helped me break the pattern.Thank you so much. I feel relief." I wrote this comment 4 months ago and now i'm back watching it again.It's realy not a quick fix but it is the best video on this topic.
This guy just striped me naked..I think the titled should be "Discovering Your Real Self".. This is a masterpiece..Thanks Noah for being a positive tool.
I believe that SA comes from childhood emotional neglect and I have looked a lot into this. I also have reduced my SA by about 80% I'd say. I have a video on this if anyone is interested.
I'm studying psychology in university and have been told by multiple professors that it most often results from being bullied as an adolescent, mainly in middle school.
I would like to share my story here. I actually never had problems talking to strangers,making friends and just being around people. But this changed for at least 5 months, 2 years ago. This because i have been diagnosed an health problem, and also had other things going on. i had so much pressure that one day i just got a panic attack. Then for some reason i would never feel comfortable around people. I have never felt so low, and i didn't know what to do. I actually used to watch this video, trying to stop the anxiety, but i really couldn't. The only way i managed to get out of it, it was to do exactly nothing. Not following any advice. It may sound counter intuitive, but this way i was telling my brain i had nothing to worry. Because trying new solutions continued to validate the idea that i had a problem, which was in my head. And eventually,it went away in a couple of months. So, if you are having problems just stay strong, and don't get discouraged. I hope you all will be good!
I think it boils down to the understanding, or lack thereof, of how connected we are as human beings. Too often, myself included, we tend to focus, or put more energy on what separates us, rather than what we have in common. So, when one steps into a social setting, there are all of these walls that are already built, and it can be a challenge to break them down. Social anxiety can take on some many facets. If you're in a group, it can come by interacting by someone who may not totally match with the demographic of your typical social group. Now, as far as the fears of other's opinion is concerned. I think it's important to understand that affirmation from others is important, to an extent. Affirmation validates our connection with one another. Most of the time, if we get a challenging opinion, it's because the person giving the opinion has a low self-image themselves, and because of that, they find strength in criticizing others.
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i can't even understand what my personality is because of social anxiety
bellea x I FELT THAT
same here
I feel you
Omg i thought i was the only one, it sucks
me too 🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
Social Anxiety + Shyness + Depression + Loneliness = a nightmare 😢
Force yourself to get out! Even just to the store.
:'(
Today I went to the store and bought the birthday present, but couldn't go to the party and hand it over. It was my own sisters party, but still failed to attend due to the anxiety. My life is garbage. Has been this way for far too long.
=suicide
@@newtoniantime8804 I feel you bro I couldn't go to my 3 yo niece's party because of this social anxiety shit😔
When I'm at home, I watch a lot of UA-cam videos and read a lot of posts and i finally get the confidence . I'm like, "F*** it, I'm gonna do it," but then the next day, I just get all nervous again.
ahh same
exactly like me :(
like me
+OhmRepee I don't really think so. He's trying to get us to believe that our thoughts isn't real. It's just our imagination. Ugly isn't real, it's based off something you seen on TV or something. Like he said on the video, touch your nose, now touch stupid. You can't. I do realize that the thoughts aren't real but still got this damn anxiety keep returning.
exactly😑😞
Does anyone else also feel like they have more anxiety around some people than others?
Sure, especially with cluster B folks who tend to have the same toxic energy like family
Yup
I have it more around pure evil people.
Yep
I have it towards people who I think they're extroverted and confident
People talk about social anxiety like its a problem that prevents good times at parties, but never mention grocery stores, traffic, elevators, literally everywhere else except a party. NO ONE WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY GOES TO A PARTY.
Facts
EXACTLY
Exactly
true
except forced to come along
I have Social Anxiety and for the people who don't have it, you are lucky. You hear someone or a group of people laughing, you think its about you. You make eye contact and look away immediately and feel embarrassed. You talk to people quietly almost mumble like. You overthink things you would say more than you talk. Your opinion doesn't matter as much as the other persons, so it is never spoken. You almost feel like its rare when you're not blushing. You can't go a day without showering and if something is wrong, like a haircut looks the smallest amount weird or different to you, you become depressed. You don't want to see people and make conversation. You use excuses to hide the truth of whats bothering you. You almost just want to break down and cry, if you weren't too scared to cry. Social Anxiety is a horror and I live all of this in an everyday life. It's very hard and our minds are very complex. Now, for people with social anxiety, what I did to help overcome anxiety was to start designing. Even drawing or sketching can help. Instead of talking to people about problems I just draw my feelings out and I almost feel like a normal person. Don't let it control you, live your life as much as you can :) I hope this helped describe what it's like to you guys
Kind of
***** a very hardcore one. It's like feeling shy even when you're alone because you think about that time ten years ago in a discussion with friends when you said like something and you were kidding but someone mocked you or felt offended for. Now it's 3 in the morning and your brain remembers it and now you feel like hiding, which is stupid because you're like in bed alone or something.
That was a perfect description
I feel you
ily this is me.
My comfort zone is my home, when I leave my home it starts.
we should be friends
+Mas A I know how it is. When I stay home, I feel guilty. When I leave home, I feel worse.
+Lady Pain same
+Mas A I feel you home is like a universe within a universe.
my comfort zone is my bedroom, when I'm not in it I'm so drained and it starts.
1:45 Understanding social anxiety
3:20 what creates social anxiety
5:00 understanding self image
7:10 the reason we care about others opinions.
•The 3 fundamental reasons
1. 17:10 your happiness is based
on others opinions
2. 18:23 your afraid of losing who
you are
3. 21:58 you don't feel good
enough
26:08 why having a self image is bad
32:18 how to overcome social anxiety
• The 7 Exercises/Questions
1. 33:25 you're not who you think
you are
2. 38:11 you are you no matter
what
3. 40:22 Question your thoughts
4. 42:40 everything is subjective
5. 44:17 your actions don't define
you
6. 45:54 you're the observer not
the thought
7. 47:12 you have no free will
52:42 conclusion
Randy Villeda thank you
@@jpcash8012 no problem. But the reason I wrote this comment was to help myself because I found this video very helpful but to long. But I'm glad I was able to help u too
Ohh thanks 💙
@Raven I understand why you would believe in free will. I personally dont. However, don't let that one thing stop you from taking the great advice of this video.
@Raven my beliefs on free will doesn't come from any traumatic event. It is simply my belief that peoples actions are entirely influenced by the external world and genetics. I do appreciate other peoples view on the matter though and I always have room for a change in my beliefs given enough evidence.
I just want to say to all the people who have social anxiety, I give you a huge hug. Because it's horrible to always hear the 'it's all in your head' or 'just stop being shy' or 'just go out more'.
It truly is like a prison, but I promise you're not alone, you're not 'pathetic' and it's not your fault to be feeling this way.
If you try your best, you'll get better, slowly but surely. /hugs/ ♥
Thank u so much . Appreciate that
Thanks but.... hugs scare me 😆
I've been fighting through it, and its gotten a lot better than whatvit used to be. Just that somedays i get that social anxiety attack and all goes yo shit for the next couple of days.
Yumi
/Hugsyou
yeah, acceptance is first..i felt shameful today though, but its all good..just do your best to get out of it, in every step of the way, and dont expect anything just do your best, i believe this is gonna be healing
anyone watching while having anxiety
TROYCEEEE
I am having panic attacks while watching these !
Yes it's crazy my heart was racing through the whole video.
Crying too
Yep I think this is my second time watching this video 🤦🏻♀️
I talked to 3-5 strangers today guys.
Wow.
Be careful, you might get stalked :)
📡📡📡📡📡📡📡📡📡📡📡⏳📡📡📡📡📡⏳⏳⏳
Otherwise known as 4 :L
Ryan Ballantyne
I see you have failed year 1 math
I used to suffer from social anxiety for over 20 years. Now after using a specific method I can leave the house and start conversations with random strangers. Learn this method here: MootSpeak.xyz
It really is an awful disease that has held me back so much in life:
1. I’ve never had a girlfriend because I’m so scared of rejection from asking women out and what people will think when they see me approaching a woman
2. I’ve lost what little friends I had because a voice in my head which keeps saying they don’t like me so I avoided them and they in return avoided me
3. I can’t have lunch with my coworkers because I get so scared they will judge me as the quiet boring loner
4. I have no hobbies or interests because of my low self esteem which leaves me scared to try new things
5. I obsess over one sentence I said to someone for an entire day replaying it over and over
6. Constantly feeling like no one likes me so I feel anger towards others for rejecting me and angry at myself for not being better
same here man. same here . all the points checked.
same here
it's tough bro , I went through many lonely years cause of the same problem , not alone, I met my wife through dating site, she is pretty and prefers quiet guys , so always a girl out there 👍
Same here
Same here brotha. The worst one of all is the relationship one. I feel like if I could just get a girl for once I could start to rebuild my life.
Whenever I hear someone laughing around me, I'll become self conscious and start fixing my hair, brushing my outfit off, wiping my face, etc. sometimes when I'm hanging out with friends my mind will tell me they don't really like me and they're only my friend out of pity and I'll become awfully sad. Even when I'm alone I feel like somebody is watching me and judging my movement. This feeling feels disgusting and I hate it so much.
Pickled Okra Whenever you feel anxious just keep telling yourself that those thoughts only exist in YOUR mind. I know this sounds easier said than done but I'm telling you....its been six days since I watched this video...his method works! As soon as you have an anxious thought, you have to train your mind to realize, immediately, that those negative thoughts are not tangible. Fear...you cant touch it, see it etc so just let it go whenever you feel it...it's not real. Same goes with worry...it exists in your mind only. You can and will overcome this. Hang in there! You have to re-train your mind. Watch this over as many times as you need to and truly grasp what he is saying! You got this!!!
applebug thank you for the encouragement, means a lot. I'll keep trying to shake the feeling and gain control of myself again 💕
Pickled Okra No problem! One more thing, when you first begin to re-train your mind, the physical symptoms (or gestures) of anxiety will still manifest, because that is what your body is used to automatically doing, in social situations....do not be discouraged, keep on trying. The symptoms will cease. Your body is only following your thoughts. Just remember that the core of social anxiety is poor self image. We tend to automatically believe the "bad" of how we think others are perceiving us. It's all imaginary, and silly quite frankly, when you think about it. But we're going to stop those "bad" thoughts right in their track. I'm happy i could help you! :)
applebug hello I just came in y'all's conversation but I need help so when I'm in large crowds I get social anxiety like my eyes start watering for some reason and I Begin swalowing alot but I'd I'm even with one friend I feel normal like I could embarrass myself on purpose and not care it's like nothing but what's weird it's that my eyes water alot some people come up to me and say 'are you crying?' but I say no and then makeup some excuse I really hope this helps thx for your time
Brayan Medina The eye thing has happened to me a couple of times. It sounds as if you're unconsciously hyperventilating and air swallowing, that's a common symptom of anxiety. You are not alone. Hang in there!
I just want my life back. I know my behavior is irrational, and tell myself this. That is what is troubling about social anxiety and what makes it more demeaning, knowing you have a problem and being unable to do anything about it. A perceived sense of hopelessness. I just want to not feel judged by everyone. To not feel awkward talking with friends, family, and strangers. I want to be able to answer questions in class without my heart beating uncontrollably causing me to not speak up. I want to be able to talk on the phone with strangers, set doctor's appointments, etc. I want a sense of optimism. I want friends. It seems unfair that I should have this disorder sometimes, but it is what it is. Never giving up though, someday I'll be over it. much respect to those with SAD trying to do something about it.
Deleston Brantley omg u are me!
Georgy Patov No. He just has the same issues. You are both unique individuals. With the capacity to lose the crippling issues.
@@filipemartins1850 No.. the only person who has the power to "deliver" you from social anxiety is yourself. Sorry, Jesus can't help here. He would have helped long ago.
I feel the same exact way. Today I have to go to a party and I'm feeling very nervous atm. My thing is crowds, especially people whom I don't know
“I just want my life back” this shit made me tear up bro i relate to every single part of this, truly a mental hell and there seems to be NO ESCAPE I’ve tried EVERYTHING
i have social anxiety and the thing about my anxiety is that im not afraid to go places or to do things alone its just the fact that i think people will judge me for doing this or doing that. I always think someone is bad talking me or making fun of me and it prevents me from being myself. Most times im afraid of talking to new people because i think that they'll respond with one word answers and ill look like an idiot
Ask yourself "What would be the worst possible thing they could think of me?" Then ask yourself "Do I believe that about myself?" Be really honest about your answer. If you believe it, then question whether this "trait" or "adjective" actually describes who you are. Good luck!
Tishauna Gibson i fell exactly the same
Thank you so much
i have class in the mornig after a month of relaxation, i'm freaking the f out
I feel ya. But what really makes your anxiety worse is when people are actually takin shit about you.
Systemic exposure therapy.
You can't give yourself the rule "my heart shouldn't race, I shouldn't be anxious", it'll only lead to cognitive distortions, disappointment, frustration and a sense of ineptitude. It's really okay to be anxious; in fact, it's a sign that you're facing your fears in a social setting.
It's hard, but the best way to overcome anxiety is to keep being exposed to the experience(crowds, social situations) without the negative stimuli (self-attacks, magnification of faults, disqualifying the positives, etc). Once it clicks that the negative consequences of social encounters aren't devastating or catastrophic, your fear will slowly go down and you'll finally have room to breathe, grow, and think clearly.
Keep facing your fears, and prove to yourself that you're okay as you are, you're lovable, and the social encounters you have aren't half as bad as you think they are! Wish you the best.
Thank you for this insightful comment, I know you are right and I have to expose myself to the situation, always.♥️
@@couchpotatoshredder8445 we must face our fears to get rid of them
Turns out that is not the case. I thought so too, but I'll just give you this clue...That which you resist persists. By fighting it you're fueling it. Acceptance is the answer in the beginning. Check out Dr. Thomas A. Richards's Recordings and Handbook. Peace.
@@EnlightenedCarnivore Thats exactly what hes talking about accepting it exposure therapy is literally accepting the anxiety
This is incredible. I never thought that it could be so easy. I have had social anxiety for approximately 9 years without even knowing what was wrong with me. It ruined my social life and made me miss many oppurtunities. I watched this video 5 days ago and I lost 70% of my social anxiety. I can walk freely on the street, go to the supermarket and even go to parties without the feeling of crippling anxiety. I have never felt so free. Thank you so much! The only problem is that now I expect myself to master every situation perfectly, which creates the fear of failure. I will try to work on that problem. Besides I have to practice starting conversations, telling stories and small-talk.
Teh Jokur SAME HERE!! Amazing right??? God bless Noah for making this video!
hey dude i'd like to know how it's going and if you could say what you do to help yourself
Take it slow. You're doing great
Ok
The 7 Questions
1. Who are you right now?
2. Are you, you in every moment?
3. Can you think of a few reasons or examples of why the opposite may be true?
4. Could somebody else think the opposite?
5. Were you you before you had whatever you think you are now?
6. Who is aware of the story of you?
7. Are you to blame for whatever good or bad you think you are?
Hardest part is when you're late for class, because as soon as you open the door you're the centre of attention, I avoid getting late because of this, I can't stand people looking at me let alone a class.
has anything changed after watching the video ? Did you manage to get a new perspective and free yourself (at least partly) from your self-image ?
Specially attending wedding or gathering
fr fr this is me, i even bunk the class if im late, i feel so pathetic at that moment
God. Same.
Me different. I try to come late just to avoid people talking to me before class starts. LoL
I’ve been watching social anxiety videos because I’ve been trying to get rid of my social anxiety. Watching this makes me cry. It’s so hard to get people to understand how severe this is without them telling you to shrug it off. I feel so alone
Ur so pretty
@@indimist390 both of you are so pretty :)
@@AA-px4dm aw ty
I'm a CBT therapist and someone who's dealt with ADHD oriented anxiety my entire life. You're not alone. It can't just be shrugged off. It can be managed though! You can change your view of yourself and those around you and how they impact you. Be patient throughout the change process. It may take as long to learn to manage as it did to develop. But it's a journey, appreciate even every little step growth you take. One day at a time. At one point you'll realize you have made it, and you will be stronger for it. Best wishes and good vibes.
I watched this over a year ago, and a lot of my social anxiety has been resolved due to watching this. Thank you so much!! It truly opened my mind, and made me realise that I should NOT be stressed about who I am and labels in any given situation.
Wonderful. Thanks for sharing.
I dont know but I find this touching , i have social anxiety , I lose my speech when talking, am always carried away when am among people, I feel down on myself, I let people show me who I am, I weigh myself down, I run away of little things that hurts me, I make mistakes, I feel no one cares and love me, I feel I have no friends, everyone thinks am crazy, some think I have a bad memory, I keep thinking and feel sad each day, I just want to be happy, you made my day, although I cried, because the depression and anxiety has been with me for a very long time , I still dont know how to get it out of my head, while I was a little kid , my grandmother beat me and I start ed growing hatred for her and people around me, but my mum says she loves me but the feeling can come off , I need help, I want to forget these things, I want to be a new person , I need someone to talk to and I think friends help with anxiety or depression, we need to surround ourselves with people who can build up our self esteem, say positive things to us, overall you did a good job, thanks
coco late i have been seeing myself while reading your comment. that's 99.9% me
coco late it's all me
coco late I feel you. I have lots of friends but when I get told something negative, I feel that nodding and smiling will help... but it doesn't. I express myself when I'm around close friends but cower behind curtains when I meet people who I'm not close to... Sometimes I feel I want to be alone, but once I'm alone I get mad at myself because I feel like a loser who everyone hates. I never fully understood how some people say random crap and easily make friends without awkward conversations and express there selves around anyone... When I'm put in a awkward moment in which I feel powerless I just try to smile, when that awkward moment is over I sulk and think about how embarrassingly stupid and speechless I was and I start to look at my future self and think, "Wow, what a lonely loser..." Its so bad. Even with friends around I feel lonely and hollow inside...
god can make you new
You took the words right out of my mouth. I
Feel like I have no one sometimes :( but I'm here for you if you ever need a Freind!
"You're not afraid of death. You're afraid of the end of the story of you."
Isn’t that the same thing?
@@virginiagamez6299 no not really it’s like, what are you gonna be at the end of your story, what did you accomplish, what kind of person, or is anyone gonna view as just a awkward person when I die .. idk something like that
@@dirtysewerwater26 Thats true, but it is aswell, the death of your personality that youre afraid of.
Everytime i go outside i feel like every people hates my presence
Why?
I don't feel that they hate me but i feel like they are looking at me and trying to judge me
It's because you yourself do not like yourself enough and you judge yourself too hard. Stop. Start looking at yourself and admiring not judging! Be nice to you! Talk nice to youself! Smile in the mirror! Work on loving who you are, forget others! Let me tell you something - you are a great person! Now you say it to yourself :)
That's because you don't smile and say hi.
Avoiding social situations is actually worse than trying to make small talk and being completely rejected
I'm nervous of not being able to finish a story or half way through I'll lose track and look bad. Or that my stories aren't interesting or boring to others... My conversations don't flow well, so I'd rather not say anything at all.
+Bazzington James when you are telling a story put some feeling in it, ''impress'' them with facial expresions,shaking your hands ets.and have fun! ;) :D
That's exactly how I feel!
+Bazzington James Hmm, if by stories you mean things about yourself, then how much satisfaction do you get from listening to others talk about meaningful personal things, especially things that you're willing to take the risk of asking, that you're truly interested in knowing?
I see myself as a listener - I take a lot of pride in listening to others stories or conversations, but when it comes to telling my own i see them as being lacking when compared to their stories. Though I have had a great life full of stories so far... I'm just no good at telling them.
Well I'm happy at least that you enjoy listening! You know that's providing real value and I hope you get tons of appreciation for it! And I also hope you don't stress out too much over your so-called bland self-narration. If you've had a great life as you say, I'd presume that to matter way more than anything else.
It was so easy socializing when I was a kid but now it’s damn to hard
Since I care about what people think of me. My whole family is out going, while there is me the odd one :,)
Literally how it feels,it gets to the point where u seriously doubt if your fam loves u it sucks alot
Yep
@@damn_longhead6938 hey man just wanted to let you know that they care and love you
Trust me I feel the same
@@elefont100 Practicals are important. Join public speaking courses even if you feel uneasy. . They can transform you. To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives good relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. When taking a walk, at office, at home, when reading, before sleep etc observe your breath sensations. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes--Counsellor.
Letting go has been probably the most powerful thing for me. I always tried to find explanations etc but it only brought more stress. Instead, let go and try not to control your surroundings. What ever happens, it's ok.
whackoization Glad you found something that works for you
love this! i think when we focus too much on our anxiety and trying to "fix" it then we make it worse coz it's reinforcing that there is something wrong.
Anyone watching this in 2019 ? Having a social anxiety is like being trap in a cage.
lovely and pretty mae me !
@@wishscone7661 i give you a hug 😥
Get Dr. Thomas A. Richard's therapy package; Overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder: Step by Step. 20 Tapes/Audio files and a booklet of handouts.
It'll change your life for the better forever.
Nothing to it but to Do It. ;)
@@EnlightenedCarnivore where can I purchase?
2021 xD
I tried this yesterday at work, and I felt so much more clear headed. I was actually able to focus on my job and worry less about others around me! thanks
I used to have terrible social anxiety. I never said a single word in school, and only expressed myself through an anonymous account on a writing site.
Now, I still have social anxiety. But it's not even close to how bad it used to be. I talk with friends, and can even be loud at times. I still feel anxiety a lot, but I'm enjoying my life, and I get anxiety attacks less and less each day.
Don't give up guys.
Not everyone is the same especially when you're good looking it helps a lot
I'm so proud of you, you can do this
jhpj0 in
I need help 😪 no one understands me and I just feel like dying schools almost starting and I'm so quite but people try to talk to me I try to be polite but it always comes out as a whisper and they don't hear me
+That1GuythatTellsUkys Hey pal, if people are coming up to you to talk to you, that means that you are interesting to them. Also, they are coming to talk to you because you are polite and genuinely kind to them. Remember, that it's not about the volume of your voice, but the content of your words, which I think you're great at :)
15 years I have been miserable and messing up jobs and relationships as a direct result of anxiety....and you come along and, in less than an hour, remove the mental block I have had for that entire time!! I cannot thank you enough, mate.
+jippyjester hi, are you still doing good?
I know this came out a while ago but if anyone in the comments see this you arent alone I understand it and I know its hard. I cant even go to the grocery store without thinking someones watching and judging every move, or that I have to fit in to be liked and alter my personality. Take your time getting over this I believe in you
This is one of the most important videos I’ve seen in my lifetime. After watching this, I had a huge realization of what he’s saying a few days later. One of the most life changing realizations I’ve had to this date.
Wish I knew this guy personally, he's amazing.
Ooh yeah I'm with you girl
You make an unbelievable amount of sense. I've never look at social anxiety like this before. Mind blown.
Agreed
Absolutely
@@filipemartins1850 I love Jesus but i wonder why Adam couldn't help me afterall he was born without even a mother.. or why mosses couldn't help me while he was able to split the sea and God has granted him with so much power.. what i think is that All of these prophets came to connect people to their only one God and their teachings got fabricated with time and people added myths and stories to actual accounts.hope that make sense to u.. ☺️
Yep dis how it feels
@@eCellulaminor errors account for 99% of Bible mistakes. The theology has largely been preserved over time.
My family has played a major hand in my anxiety and depression. I've had to stand up for myself my whole life to them only be made out as dramatic, mean, angry, etc. So for me, not putting up with mistreatment from family is what has caused a lot of my issues.
You are the saver of human kinds. Your video did save my life last 2 years ago and I found myself back. Just want to say Thank you.
He is the best. I love his book it blows my mind everytime I read it :)
Aye mon Chit, sorry if it might seem personal. but could you give a brief description of how your life was before and how your life changed after? I would be interested in knowing
his voice is so damn calming
his face ain't bad either, haha
But that's not a fact. That's only our perspective, our opinion. :P
his voice is not theirs ,this are just thoughts in his mind
but his voice isn't calming, what is calming? can we see calming? No!, cuz it doesn't exist !
lol. Too calming.
So true. Anxiety stems from perfectionism which is why we feel so validated by positive opinions and so torn down by the negative.
This helped my husband so much. It helped him realize social anxiety is just a story he tells In His head. It helped him to be able to go to public places and not worry about what everyone else is thinking about him. We just wanted to thank you so much for sharing.
We should really stop giving a fuck about what people might think about us. I mean why should it matter? Are they better than us? NO! I see so many confident people that are less atractive or smart or talented than me and I always wonder why cant I be confident??? Why do I let my self think I m any less than I really am? I am not and none of us are! Let me tell you you are way more special than you think. and you deserve the world.Go out and get it!
george kurgansky It was a metafore my dear I am just trying to give my point
It's hard to 'go out and get it' when you have social anxiety.
Dreamer
I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to finally getting my break through. I always think deep down that I don't believe in myself, but I feel it changing day by day.
This is actually brilliant and to answer the question "who are you without the self image?" You are consciousness. You are the awareness that is observing all you're beliefs and self programming. You are not a personality. You are the observer of that personality. Update: I tried this for the first time today and it works great! Thank you Noah! As someone who has suffered with social anxiety disorder for years, You have saved my life. Thank you for reminding me of who i truly am.
I think that’s equally as depressing. If we’re all just awareness and our “personalities” are just a figment of our imagination, why even bother interacting with anyone? Who are we without our identities? literally nothing
after 30 years of disabling anxiety, this is the first time that i can actually seeing myself overcoming it enough to atleast leave my house and get my mail. thank you so very much for putting it in a way that makes sense to me ,
Have you gotten better?? I'm a teen w social anxiety
@@theavastark6463 Hi Ava, yes, yes I am much better, I have learned that one has to be patient with their progress, it's not like you just wake up one morning and it's not there, but if you put some of your time and energy into getting better and the biggest thing that helped me out the most was to learn that almost everyone has anxiety about certain things in life, us that have anxiety from the time we wake until we go to sleep and always wondering what people think about us, well it just takes a bit of time learning what it is that is causing it, and I found that whenever I listen to videos like Noah says, and I know that we think that no one understands how we feel, but the core that he talks about, it's so true if you spend time working on it. I am sure that you are going to be fine. Thank you for asking me.
Hey Donald , ure amazing on ur own beautiful way..never forget that 👍🏻
hey donald, how did you even make a living with that disorder
I've had it for 45 years.
I found myself nodding my head a lot watching this video. So many 'ahhh haaa' moments. I can't wait to watch the rest. unfortunately my social anxiety rules my life and stops me from pursuing so many things. I actually turn red so it's not just in my head, it shows on the outside. I hope this helps me to be free. Thank you 😊
Lauren Eyton I get a red specked rash all over my cheeks and chest. It’s so frustrating. I think a lot of it is in our heads. Face your fears! Don’t let it stop you!
I totally get it. I feel so limited by it. Hopefully you’ve gotten better sense.
You are so spot on! I've never thought about it in this way. I have social anxiety and people, UA-cam videos and therapists tell me to 'face it head on, face your fears, go out and just do it, love yourself, you need more confidence!'. It never works, in fact it makes it worse! This has helped SO much! It's so simple yet so obvious! So thank you
StephanieRayner its hard because every situation and location is different, but if you face your anxiety in the same place over and over again, you will get rid of it completely, it worked for me in speaking in front of a classroom but for example in a cafe or public place like that its still REALLY hard for me, not to mention i blush like crazy so thats a huge give away 🙁
I'm glad this helped you Stephanie :)
How are you doing now??
Haven't updated my facebook profile picture in 3 years. Because I am too afraid that I won't get enough likes because I haven't been in contact with most of my friends on social media so I know I am going to lack the number of likes I used to get. Now I realise that I'm simply "not popular" and I have now accepted that fact. That was just ONE of my social anxiety disorders.
Cmon maannnnnn...
Potato Carrot I actually did it the next night, All stories in my head is actually not true. felt so good and proud a few moments after my upload, Btw, i did get multiple likes just saying. :)
Dude I feel sorry for you if you are worried about 'likes' that's really sad. sorry man
Noodle Poodle You got a point, i made it sound like "likes" the only thing i cared about. but the point i was trying to make was that the stories and thoughts in my head was not true. Although "likes" do feel good, not gonna lie. Just being honest :)
OMG I'm the exact same!!!
Thank you to everyone who responded and shared their story, even if this was posted 5 years ago. Everyone doesn’t know, at least for me how important and comforting it is to hear other people’s story and how SAD personally impacts their lives. It’s hard to remember sometimes that we’re truly not alone in our pain-stories and with SAD it’s difficult to remember that when you feel like the entire world hates you and is judging your every move. You feel so alone and rejected by the world. It can feel like you can’t do ANYTHING right, you can’t even get being yourself right😭so hearing everyone’s experiences reminds me that there are people out there crying for the same reasons I am. Seriously reading these comments feel like some type of therapy, it sort takes me out of this black hole that I can find myself in sometimes and it’s like, what a minute I’m not the only one going through this shit!?? 😂thank y’all so much🥰🥰🥰
Noah, I waited my whole life for a person tell me exactly what you just said. I searched many doctors, priests, psychologists and friends, and they never answered what´s wrong with my life. The problem is that we create a self-image so fragile, in our heads, although we are capable, we are smart, but we depend on other´s approval, we really have little self-confidence, at the point that if 1 million people tell us that we are not good enough, we don´t care and go ahead, because we know who we are. The underlying problem is that we don´t know ourselves sufficiently well. People can´t harm us, if the enemies inside us don´t hurt us first. Thank you so much !
To ALL social anxiety sufferers,
I finally really understood what Noah is saying, and it's definetely so true and the way to lose our social anxiety. it has to do with complete self acceptance and giving up our self image. i dont go about it the same way Noah does and I dont use the same methods he does, but the process is the same. there is hope!
Do you know any other techniques?
im glad im not alone ☺
+Robyn Jimenez
oh no u are not trust me hahaha there is a lot off us :D
Nope theres alot others.. :)
Hey there fire neptune
+Robyn Jimenez it sure does feel good to know you are not alone
hey
I swear to you…I am 59 and I have struggled with severe social anxiety for my whole life. I’m not exaggerating when I say this video has changed my life! Thank you
My Social Anxiety is probably the worst because I can't even be around a baby... I can't go anywhere without my Sunglasses on.. I can't work ... I just can't do anything... It would be nice to get support from family but I can't be around them.... smh... it's like a prison....
+Jada Williams We're all the same.
Man I know it's hard and yes I have social anxiety so I know what you're feeling, I've been trying to get over it and I feel like it's getting better bit by bit anyway think about it this way, all of us are humans we are all the same (mostly).. Like I understand u and if I were to be living where you're living in, I'd try to be friends with u and help u out so if I can understand u there's obviously a lot mote people that can understand the way u feel.. Idk I'm really bad at explaining things and shit.. But all I'm saying is just fuck everything and try to be social, that's what I do and yes it's hard but what's the worst that could happen? Right now all I do is stay alone in my room and be alone at school and feel like shit so I decided to just TRY to talk with people as much as I can cause why the fuck would I be afraid? Obviously just being afraid and hiding didn't help me at all.. Cause when I'm alone I feel like shit
So yea my point is just keep practicing to be more social,👍🏽
What Up Congratulations man, keep getting better and better. I myself am still slowly getting better bit by bit too, but I'm going to continue to try and do everything I can possibly do to get rid of this. It will take time, but you'll get through it if you try your best
Thanks you.... I'm a chic
Jada Williams oh sorry lol😁
" there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so" - Hamlet
I have social anxiety, and I'm trying like hell to beat this. This video is a good place for me to look at some things differently. Thank you all for sharing because as you all know SAD makes you feel all alone, and to hear that others go through it too helps a lot to show it's not just you!!
How is it going?
It's been 2 years how is it going ?
Angel, Practicals are important. Join public speaking courses. How are you now? To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives good relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. When taking a walk, at office, at home, when reading, before sleep etc observe your breath sensations. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes--Counsellor.
After 4 years, I hope you beat it ❤️
My social anxiety is the following:
I’m super open in the first meeting but afterwards I just get close and believe they will find it “ who I really am” and reject me.
At home I heard a lot - you are this - you are bad - you are dirty - you break everything-
So I was like how can people like me? Ow if they find out how I really am (words of my mom) they won’t like me and reject me.
That’s me scared of deep connection. This shit is holding me back for years.
Sending you a hug.
Same here , when i think “ if i don’t get support even from my family , how would foreigners accept me” i just keep calm and cry .
Damn you just made me wake up
That’s exactly how I feel. First connections are the easiest but after that I don’t really know how to move forward with building a connection. At the same time I’m painfully afraid of letting people get close to me and finding out the real me cause I’m scared they’ll reject the real me.
That’s exactly what I’m suffering too, I thought I’m destined for loneliness for the disability of developing longer and deeper connection. Sometimes I build a nice and calm fantasy of growing old with a cat for myself cause kitty would be always by my side and never know who I am 😂 your comment really brought warmth to my day, just want to give you a hug and wish us the very very best（really hope you are doing much better now after 3 years)🥰🥰
"I hope this had an impact on you"
That's a bit of an understatement... thank you for this video
How do I get rid of heart racing before social interractions?
Propranolol
Honestly, if I drink a ton of caffeinated drinks, I worry less...so yeah that helps
Try to be more aware of your breathing. Your body and your mind are not separate, so where body goes the mind must follow (& vice versa). You can't actually breath deeply and have your heart racing at the same time.
Smoke weed
Billy everyday....
I've need to doctors, I've been on medication I have tried everything and I have never felt the feeling I am feeling now, I feel so light, like a massive weight that had been holding me down for my whole life has now been lifted. thank you, thank you THANK YOU!
I like that fact that you say “lose a piece of your self image” when you are explaining what a Guru or Mystic calls “transcending the Ego”....love it!! Thanks for sharing!! You are a gift to this world! 🥰
Thank you SO much.
My SA has gotten so bad recently that I can’t sit with my best friend of _nine years_ at lunch without worrying about my arm position looking awkward or my voice being too quiet.
It feels like a prison where you over analyze EVERYTHING. You worry about the way you’re breathing. You worry about the people staring at you. You worry about not being able to carry a conversation. You stutter, blush, air-swallow.
You isolate yourself in your room for months because you’re scared of having to make eye contact with and speak to people.
I can’t even order food at a restaurant without thinking my eye contact looks too awkward or freezing up and stuttering.
There’s never a moment when you’re not worrying. It’s always like this low fog of dread hanging over you 24/7.
Despite this, I’m trying to change and I’m looking into therapy or medication. Reading these comments makes me feel like I’m not alone. We’ll beat this!!
How old are you?
"Whatever you think, someone could think the opposite. So how do you know your perspective is some how true?" This completely struck me.
I've become such a recluse and rarely expose myself to situations I deem uncomfortable that I forget I even have social anxiety, sometimes. It's great. 🙄
I love it when people say to me “oh your so quite everything must be chill for you” and in my head I’m like no it’s hell.
I have social anxiety such that I'm fine speaking in front of a large crowd, but one on one conversation kills me.
+Fax same shit bro, i'm so confused, "i'm anxiety free" (can talk to people as a normal person xD) when speaking in public and sometimes meeting strangers. When i'm with friends, family, etc it's the same shit, i'm a "mummy"... wtf
+Fax I suffer from the exact same thing. It's so frustrating and strange how we can make a speech and do okay while talking with people after is what kills us. You're not alone!
I'm sure he doesnt want to torture you, he's cringing about thta awkward silence waaay more xD
Yeah that's exactly what happens to me, I can sing in front of a crowd and I'm not to nervous, other people around me who are really confident get more nervous than me but when it comes to making conversation or looking people straight in the eyes I have no idea what to say so I don't say anything and people think I'm weird and I constantly worry about other peoples opinions.
Yeah, same. In return, people don't really talk to me much and I feel like an outsider sometimes.
"Nobody is afraid of death. People are afraid of the end of the story of themselves." OMG that is so freaking postmodern.
Yeah the only thing I fear is torture
公孙徵羽 Yes, that blew me away because it’s so true. That’s what I’m afraid of...non-existence.
I"m actually not afraid of death or the end of my story. I guess that's why I'm here.
Im not afraid of death; Im afraid of life.
I'm watching this before my first training shift as a waitress tomorrow. I woke up already sick to my stomach and knew I had to do something about this. Its been 15 minutes now of watching this video and my stomach is settling and the fact that I'm actually breathing at a normal pace completely distracted me from the video..
❤ thank you!
How are you doing now a year later? I hope you are feeling better, remember that you are amazing and deserve the world
I practice Buddhism. I lived in Nepal. I go to dialectical based therapy. I meditate. My husband lives this truth and tells me this truth. It was not until I watched your videos that I believed this truth in all its fullness. I cannot explain this. Perhaps you were the proverbial 7th person for me. I had the “Office Space” moment last week after watching just one of your videos. Thank you for sharing these truths. The creation of me, of I, is the function of the brain in this body in this moment. The brain and this body is always changing and will eventually cease to exist. Therefore I do not exist and I have never existed, as me. There is no static me or I. And at the same time, my body is made up of particles of the universe, quite literally, the dust of stars that exploded. And so, my consciousness is simply the universe knowing itself for as long as my brain continues to function. When one realizes this truth, then one realizes that good, bad, happiness, sadness, pain, comfort is not forever real, and therefore practicing letting go of every thought and every emotion and every feeling in each moment eliminates suffering. There is still happiness, sadness, pain and comfort as feelings both physical and mental but letting go of the desire to not be sad, in pain, uncomfortable, etc.eliminates suffering and allows us to just...be.
Idk why but I started crying lol
@@filipemartins1850 proof Jesus is real?
I used to have social anxiety for over 6 years. I found a great resource online that lowered my anxiety level and now I can leave the house. Go here now to learn some great treatment options for social anxiety: MootSpeak.xyz
@@filipemartins1850 What do you mean by "real"?
I started crying too..
@@filipemartins1850 Is it a sin to have social anxiety?
Something that is helping me is exposure . The more places I go by myself the less I worry . & the more times I throw myself in an uncomfortable situation, I learn from it . Sometimes it’s embarrassing but hey 🤷🏾♀️ it is what it is
I've been in the house for months. I can't get on the bus and I don't have a car. I'm spending tons of money on delivery because I can't go to the store.
+Apple I feel for you.. Don't give up
Does anyone else feel like social anxiety makes it feel like you have 2 different personalities?? The real you and you in social situations? I just want to be myself, and hopefully by the end of the video I can! Only people with social anxiety can understand how hard it is... It's hard to go to school and I have no friends and feel like I'm constantly being watched and judged but I need to get myself to understand it's all in my head.
🙋🏻♂️
I can't even walk around the people, I feel shy,when I walk I cant move my arms it really fu**ing me and also I don't know how I'm making eyes contact with other people's 😥😥
Ajay Stn I feel the same way. I’m struggling with this and I’m a believer in Jesus Christ as the Lord. It’s still my faith but I struggle with the eye contact and feeling confident speaking and talking face to face. It’s awkward. My faith though in Jesus keeps me going because I believe he is the Redeemer who will make all things new and whole one day and will start that process once we believe in Him and that He died in our place on the cross to forgive us of all the wrong things we have done. This brings us the Holy Spirit who teaches us that we are no longer a slave to the lusts of the world, but are free. It does not make you perfect though in our own lives. Only with God you are made perfect. In this life we are not and have to overcome things like anxiety
Reading alll these comments made me realize that everyone with social anxiety is funny creative seems fun to be around beautiful and they all have a pure soul it’s soo sad how we don’t enjoy life to it’s fullest and always back off great opportunities in life :,) I love all of u and reading all thee comments made me realize that I’m not alone in this fight I have sisters and brothers that r in this with me too I trust in us we can do it and over come it
His eyes are so sweet
yes they are , his voice is very kind and sweet too, no wonder he made this Video to help us People, he is an Angel. and just came by his Videos today.
never as sweet as my ass
ok sorry im joking
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Im here because I want to help my friend. She has so much social anxiety that she thinks that she have dissorders but the fact is she is an amazing person. Thanks alot!
Unfortunately, I just don't know who am I. I wish I could answer those questions but I don't know if I'm happy or unhappy, funny or boring. I have no idea what I would say if somebody were to ask me to describe myself. I think I have social anxiety because I don't know who I am and I can't relate to anybody which is frustrating. I don't know how to deal with this type of SA
This is what I related too. I couldn't fix SA bc of this
I can also relate to this. This is NOT a type of SA, the SA is secondary to it, whatever the loss of identity is caused by....
But that's exactly what this video is saying; you are you. You shouldn't be able to describe yourself - that's what Noah is trying to get us to forget. Saying you are happy does not make you happy. You shouldn't have to tell yourself you are happy to be happy. You should be you, because that's all that matter.
More specifically, you cannot define "you". You are you, regardless of what any word means. You may perform actions in everyday life, but even those are considered differently by other people. If you are sitting in a room of people, and you randomly get up and start singing, people perceive that differently. On one side, someone could think you must be a happy person to be singing at such a random time. Whereas the other side might think you're crazy for doing something at that particular moment. It's all just perception of people.
If you truly think of your social anxiety, you'll more then likely find that you are scared of something. For me, I'm scared of people thinking I'm stupid or that I'm weird. I find my social anxiety coming from my confidence (looks), and what I say (sometimes I say the wrong word, or stutter, or get lost for words, etc), and the whole time all I'm thinking about is what the other person must think of me.
Next time you feel yourself getting nervous or anxious, just truly analyze the situation and try and pin point what in that time period made you feel the way you did. Then try to manipulate what went wrong and try it again, this time with the new mindset.
Hope this cleared things up a little bit. Just give it a try!
Jeffyboyy I HAVE THE SAME THING AS YOU MAN! However, I'll be super self conscious and try so hard not to be weird that it backfires and I feel weird again
if someone cares about others opinions so much, how can he even speak to someine he angered?if you ignore your feelings so much you will undoubtedly get lost, as i did just yesterday.but when i stop to ask "what am i feeling , what do i want to do?" and trh to just act its smooth sail.
I don't know, this seems an overly complex method of dealing with social anxiety. Nobody has control over their self image. We can't just turn it on and off like a switch. The best way, in my opinion, to deal with social anxiety is through exposure. If you force yourself to step beyond your comfort zone at least once a day, you'll find your confidence grows each time. In fact, exposure is the number one method of treating most phobias. I used to be petrified of speaking on the phone. Then one day I was offered a job at a travel agency where I would need to be talking with customers on the phone for at least 4 hours per day. I almost declined taking the job because of my anxiety. However, 3 weeks into the job and I was speaking on the phone effortlessly. My confidence had increased tremendously through exposure alone. It even made me more confident when I was speaking to people outside of the office. Repeated exposure and practice. Remember, all humans have a certain amount of anxiety and that's perfectly normal. Your self-image is who you are. Without your self image you're only flesh and bone. Anxiety is simply a condition that is present in all humans and animals.
Self-image is what a person thinks of themselves. An imagination of yourself. Thoughts about who you are. So self-image isn't who you are. It's what you think of yourself. I'm glad your situation worked out for you, but everyone has different situations and thought processes. Videos like this can help people having trouble processing their thoughts and feelings to help themselves deal with their stress or anxiousness about social situations. You thought you shouldn't take the job. Then you thought you should. Some people need help with the thought(s).
Self-image is what a person thinks of themselves. An imagination of yourself. Thoughts about who you are. So self-image isn't who you are. It's what you think of yourself. I'm glad your situation worked out for you, but everyone has different situations and thought processes. Videos like this can help people having trouble processing their thoughts and feelings to help themselves deal with their stress or anxiousness about social situations. You thought you shouldn't take the job. Then you thought you should. Some people need help with the thought(s).
alittlepinkfreak So, what defines who you are? If you murder someone, are you not a murderer?
With what he is saying, you might be a murder at the time of murdering perhaps, but it is not who you are at every second of every day. The media would say different, but this is just another way of thinking about yourself and life.
alittlepinkfreak I disagree. I think that if you're a murderer, you're always a murderer. It's part of the fabric of your brain and cannot be removed. Does it really matter if you didn't murder someone today? Just like being gay or straight is part of your identity and cannot be removed or ignored. I do understand the point he's trying to make. However, I also think it's a good recipe for delusional behaviour. He not only wants people to remove their "self image" (identity), but also to remove their emotions and feelings. He said something on the lines of "what is stress if you can't see it?" Just because you can't see or touch something, doesn't mean it's not real. When someone says they're a stressed person, well then they are a stressed person. Stress is a physical ailment and causes high blood pressure, large amounts of cortisol and adrenaline in your system. He expects people to just ignore this by imagining it's not real?
This video is so helpful. I suffer from anxiety really badly, but after watching this video , I have a better understanding of who I am and more I feel better about myself.
This is one of the best hours I've ever spent.
This video helped me a lot. I've always had social anxiety, but I just thought that I could force it to go away by putting myself into situations that made me uncomfortable. This never worked, but after watching this video, it made me look at things from a different perspective and makes me feel better about myself. I know this video is 3 years old, but if anyone sees this, just know that you are who you are and you shouldn't let others change that.
i find it awkward to look people in the eye. Even on youtube videos
Mojo Jojo you must get help
Me too!
Mojo Jojo that’s ridiculous
I have the same issues
i love how he has this smirk the whole time like he knows he's bouta drop some real shit in this video lol
Excellent - bottom line ‘I am’. So much to learn yet so simple. I will listen (and question) many times. Blessings and much gratitude to you. Hannah Worsfold, Devon, South West England
What you're saying applies only to people whose
self-image is dependent on external feedback rather
than on their own.
Not everyone is like that. And to these latter ones,
statements of value exist not only in their heads, but
also as tangible facts that are entirely independent from
someone else's opinion.
Some who do not know me intimately may refer to me
as 'generous', but i have observed my own reactions &
thoughts concerning self-interests, and i know for a FACT
that i'm utterly selfish.
A woman can see that she totally sucks as a mother
by watching the behaviour of her emotionally unstable,
belligerent & self-obsessed daughter, regardless of how
good a mum others may say she is.
Rejection by others is much less of a problem when
there's self-acceptance & contentment. And contentment
& self-acceptance are rooted in the self-image.
Now, one will obviously be a lot more lenient with oneself
when one was given plenty of love while growing up.
It is when that love was lacking, as it is probably the case
with most viewers here, that the catastrophe of a handicapped
self-image arises.
And one tries to make up for it by filling up the holes with
external feedback, which can be likened to pouring water into
a woven wicker basket expecting it to hold it.
You too are suggesting mechanisms aimed at trying to
compensate for the lack of love received as a child.
He who was loved abundantly & grew up in a harmonious
environment, will not experience disabling anxieties as
an adult.
Fred blah blah That last line is bullshit. I've been nothing but loved and I have severe anxiety.
Wow! I have been searching for the longest while for some relief to my anxiety and constant discomfort. You have hit the nail directly on the head. Wonderful explanation. I’m thankful I rediscovered you.
You can think yourself into invincible if you want to. The problem is that it is not about thinking. You are dealing with very old circuitry and it is not your conscious that is the problem. There is an automatic subconscious element at play that is beyond your ability to control. It is the auto system that forces you to move before you think. The system that jerks your hand off a hot burner before your brain can process the information. The imprint of trauma or highly frightening experiences doesn’t ‘sit’ in the verbal, understanding part of the brain, but in the much deeper regions of the amygdala, hippocampus, hypothalamus and brain stem, which are only marginally affected by thinking and cognition. (van der Kolk) Therefore our fear related memories can be so unconscious, they were never processed by the thinking part of the brain but only by the feeling/sensing part of it. Our cortex shuts down when we’re very frightened. Consequently, our frightening experience doesn’t get thought through, understood and integrated. But even though the cortex is not operating normally, the sensing/feeling parts of our brain/body system are still functioning.
So true
So, what next?
Exactly. It’s basically ptsd. I’m going to try EDMR therapy but I actually have ptsd as well. Some people think hypnotherapy works-I’m not so sure because I’ve never tried it. In some situations I’m perfectly fine, but when I’m triggered it’s all physiological. And when it’s physiological there is no calming down. I can’t take deep breaths, I can’t think my way out of it because my body is in fight or flight. The only thing that helps is propranolol because it slows down my heart rate. I think there are ways we can re-program our subconscious, but it takes a lot of work, practice, and healing.
@@saraH-yu1mx Have you tried hypnotherapy yet?
C.A. Honeycutt I have. It hasn’t really worked for me, but I only did it for about 6 months so it is possible I need another practitioner or just need to power through it longer. Have you?
The calm, gentle delivery is so comforting and supportive. I am very grateful.
Man you are truly awesome, I lost my self-image and I felt like there is no weakness in me that people can hit and cause me to suffer and I started to see everyone equal..I cant thank you enough, I can look at people in the eye without struggle... I can keep steady happy face and i can talk with everyone
Amazing!
I watch this same video all the time and I'm slowly grasping it
“If you cannot find them, locate them in the real world, they only exist in your imagination” 👏👏👏👏
There are so many people who experience this and it’s insane like imagine if we all got together and helped each other overcome it.
I feel like I'm Neo and you are Morpheus explaining Matrix to me and how it's just an illusion lol
Wkk...
Lmao
So.. u took blue or red one??
Yesssss
Yesh
This video was amazing. I've never considered the idea of my own self image before and the way it can be shaped and questioned to beat anxiety disorders. Moving forward I will be using all 7 questions on a daily basis to get a deeper connection with my thoughts and my personal self image. Thank you for this video. You've done a great service for those of us that suffer on a daily basis from anxiety disorders.
I have social anxiety going to my two classes... the people just scare me in these classes... I don't really know how to explain it.My other classes I feel comfortable and fine; perhaps that's due to my professor(s) and peers.... but it's frustrating at times because my chest feels uneasy or tight and I can't sit still and I feel like I can't breathe; allowing me not to be able to focus! I also noticed that depending on the lighting or the tightness of the room it can cause more anxiety in me. I just hope that one day, I can go to my classes and feel great and relaxed! Thanks for the video!
"I read a lot of books, but just one of your videos helped me break the pattern.Thank you so much. I feel relief." I wrote this comment 4 months ago and now i'm back watching it again.It's realy not a quick fix but it is the best video on this topic.
This guy just striped me naked..I think the titled should be "Discovering Your Real Self".. This is a masterpiece..Thanks Noah for being a positive tool.
I believe that SA comes from childhood emotional neglect and I have looked a lot into this. I also have reduced my SA by about 80% I'd say. I have a video on this if anyone is interested.
What's the video
please can i have a video
Can u show
I'm studying psychology in university and have been told by multiple professors that it most often results from being bullied as an adolescent, mainly in middle school.
@@kate5911 that's must've been it for me
I would like to share my story here.
I actually never had problems talking to strangers,making friends and just being around people. But this changed for at least 5 months, 2 years ago. This because i have been diagnosed an health problem, and also had other things going on. i had so much pressure that one day i just got a panic attack. Then for some reason i would never feel comfortable around people. I have never felt so low, and i didn't know what to do.
I actually used to watch this video, trying to stop the anxiety, but i really couldn't.
The only way i managed to get out of it, it was to do exactly nothing.
Not following any advice.
It may sound counter intuitive, but this way i was telling my brain i had nothing to worry. Because trying new solutions continued to validate the idea that i had a problem, which was in my head. And eventually,it went away in a couple of months.
So, if you are having problems just stay strong, and don't get discouraged. I hope you all will be good!
I think it boils down to the understanding, or lack thereof, of how connected we are as human beings. Too often, myself included, we tend to focus, or put more energy on what separates us, rather than what we have in common.
So, when one steps into a social setting, there are all of these walls that are already built, and it can be a challenge to break them down. Social anxiety can take on some many facets. If you're in a group, it can come by interacting by someone who may not totally match with the demographic of your typical social group.
Now, as far as the fears of other's opinion is concerned. I think it's important to understand that affirmation from others is important, to an extent. Affirmation validates our connection with one another. Most of the time, if we get a challenging opinion, it's because the person giving the opinion has a low self-image themselves, and because of that, they find strength in criticizing others.