Honestly, I'm surprised that the "Can I eat it?" section didn't include a picture or video of a human infant or toddler trying to stuff something obviously inedible into their mouth.
I remember an HFY of a human and alien crashed on a deserted planet, and the alien is panicking that they'll starve. "No," corrects the human. "You'll starve." I don't remember all the details of this particular one, but it ended with the human explaining he'll wait for the alien to die, engage in cannibalism to survive, make it home, and all the humans will ask him, in private, in hushed whispers, "How do they taste?"
They seem to have forgotten the 6th question. "Will this be funny/entertaining?" Do not ever let humans get bored for them tend to cause injury and/or destruction when left to their own devices while bored.
@@franksmedley7372The Anarchist's Cookbook is good, but someone really needs to write "The Practical Homemakers Guide to Pipe bombs*" *And other assorted defensive equipment
How about guidebooks on all various uses for fire, explosives or alcohol. Never mind means of war time psychological terror like posing frozen dead enemy soldier in standing position, as if they froze in place the moment their throats got cut - or say various impromptu propaganda across the enemy lines, from the trenches to others. 'Hear now Finn-soldier come over to our side, we have some bread for you!' 'No no Russian - but do come over here to get some butter for your bread!' Or other curious occurrences at humanity's war time front lines. Like enemies choosing to not shoot each other cause the battle already moved elsewhere.
The question shouldn't be can I kill it, it should be how do I kill it? How do I kill it if it becomes a threat? How do I kill it so that I know how to protect it should others be trying to kill it. How do I kill it so I don't accidentally do something that is fatal to them (by like petting it or something)
I think "can I kill it" is still suitable because of recreational hunting. And don't tell me you've seen a monster in a movie or game and you didn't think "can I kill it?".
Missed the most important question - 'How bad can it be?' usually just before doing something incredibly stupid or dangerous, then more often than not coming out alive and laughing at the outcome.
Honestly, I'm surprised that the "Can I eat it?" section didn't include a picture or video of a human infant or toddler trying to stuff something obviously inedible into their mouth.
That or the crazy fellow who spent two years eating a plane
I was thinking first contact with other aliens they didn't know weren't food.
Mmmmm, sand.
Every Human Child: 'Mmmm... Mud'
I remember an HFY of a human and alien crashed on a deserted planet, and the alien is panicking that they'll starve. "No," corrects the human. "You'll starve." I don't remember all the details of this particular one, but it ended with the human explaining he'll wait for the alien to die, engage in cannibalism to survive, make it home, and all the humans will ask him, in private, in hushed whispers, "How do they taste?"
At the first question, I can picture every human laughing and nodding. "Yep they've got us"
They seem to have forgotten the 6th question. "Will this be funny/entertaining?" Do not ever let humans get bored for them tend to cause injury and/or destruction when left to their own devices while bored.
Or their pets. *Sounds of a cat knocking everything over in the background*
meh that falls under xeno osha rule #1 'keep humans safely occupied for safety'
I think your question, and following statement falls under 'Top 5 things a Human will do' as a list of statements... Like: 'Hold my Beer'.
Aka "Hold my beer." That's usually Human for either "Run", "Stop me", or "Run and get something that can stop me".
@@colinsmith1495 also could mean: watch this :-)
"Be kind to everyone but have a plan to kill everybody in the room." Mad Dog Maddis
Going by all the winks the humans probably planned the last two without knowing soon as they entered the room.
I feel like that last line should be especially if it was produced by humanity
Teachers still don't like Wikipedia.
@@jmoneyjoshkinion4576
Biased and inaccurate. Not a research tool i'd recommend.
*michael chavez*
First thought through my mind also. We do tend to lie about ourselves.
@@peterwalls-qf7ii Can be a great guide to ACTUAL research material to pursue, though. Just beware of political articles being one-sided.
I can imagine a book report about Florida man.
That's not a book report... that's a thesis.
That would be banned by every alien mental health board.
Just about any Florida man will do. Texans work too.
@@johnnycampbell3422 Hey! I resemble that remark!
@@davidtherwhanger6795 mee too
I wonder if any of those students found a zombie survival guide. It would be funny to see their response.
How to kill it when it's already dead. A guide to the zombie apocalypse.
Yup... 'How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse'... and one should not forget 'The Anarchist's Cookbook'
@@franksmedley7372 "Expediant Homemade Firearms" is a short but interesting read
@@franksmedley7372The Anarchist's Cookbook is good, but someone really needs to write "The Practical Homemakers Guide to Pipe bombs*"
*And other assorted defensive equipment
How about guidebooks on all various uses for fire, explosives or alcohol. Never mind means of war time psychological terror like posing frozen dead enemy soldier in standing position, as if they froze in place the moment their throats got cut - or say various impromptu propaganda across the enemy lines, from the trenches to others. 'Hear now Finn-soldier come over to our side, we have some bread for you!' 'No no Russian - but do come over here to get some butter for your bread!' Or other curious occurrences at humanity's war time front lines. Like enemies choosing to not shoot each other cause the battle already moved elsewhere.
The 5 F's of Humanity:
Fondle
Feed
Filch
Fornicate
Finish
Ah… No, you are right
Dare I add a sixth to that list: Funny
@@GlitchedRed7th: Firepower (Can I weaponize it)
I like all of these Fs
@@mikkelnpetersen the answer to that is yes (results may vary)
A cautionary term. Beware if a Human says: 'Hold My Beer'.
That's a well known human code word. Depending on the context, it may mean 'Run', 'Stop me', or 'Run and find something that can stop me'.
Sounds like the teachers well-versed in her human mindset and conditions studies
Now how many of the students went and wrote about something "Flordia Man" has done
Specifically 1/4
Here I thought that it was going to be about the 5 W's "Who, What, When, Where, Why"
And "How" do I kill it?
Why is gamora?
I thought this story was going to be political.
Paranoia is the answer and cause of the fifth question.
And is not entirely our fault. Our world is also trying to kill us, so i do believe is a great trait to have.
On the last line, a human student should have said, “ I would offended by that if it wasn’t true!”
Sixth point, humans lie.
The question shouldn't be can I kill it, it should be how do I kill it? How do I kill it if it becomes a threat? How do I kill it so that I know how to protect it should others be trying to kill it. How do I kill it so I don't accidentally do something that is fatal to them (by like petting it or something)
"Relax everyone. It's purely hypothetical. Let's just keep it that way."
@@colinsmith1495 I would say it is a philosophical hypothesis within. a fantasy story......
"How do I kill it so I can avoid taking those actions by accident."
@@catfwish a lot of modern practical applications to that one.....
I think "can I kill it" is still suitable because of recreational hunting. And don't tell me you've seen a monster in a movie or game and you didn't think "can I kill it?".
i see , all the important questions in one class , even in the right order, nice
And that last question.... Yes. Yes we can.
even if the answer is no, We WILL find a way to make it a yes
@@Voron_Aggrav just use that one guys "decoration."
@@jmoneyjoshkinion4576 mean Yes We would, but we will also find out how to make it a yes if That solution resolves into a No
Hey man dnd guide book lists hit points for various gods, the party members will take that as a challenge.
Possible topics:
The concept of Darwin award
Steve Irwin
Florida man
Don't try that - Hold My beer!
These tales always make me so proud and happy to be HUMAN! Thank you!
Ngl I genuinely didn’t know that Pineapples slightly dissolved our teeth and were acidic. Man yellow fruit taste funni.
Fun fact you can remove the berry of a pineapple. Due to they grow in clusters like blackberries do.
Damn. There goes my plan to sell aliens my guidebook to human BDSM.
Regarding the homework, the teacher should have specified "No Floridamen"
There are only 2 questions:
"Who is guilty?" and "What to do?"
Found the inquisitor.
I am surprise the can I eat it sections did not include a man eating a plane
I love how accurate this is! Especially considering the "age group" 😂😂😂
On the antimatter bomb
Alien : where did you get that
Human: it fell off a transport.
Most enjoyable! THANKS ❣
Was thinking this was going to have something to do with a Alien going to Passover
Next Class: When asked to hold a human's ethanol based beverage...
Missed the most important question - 'How bad can it be?' usually just before doing something incredibly stupid or dangerous, then more often than not coming out alive and laughing at the outcome.
Can I worship it?
A quick glance at mythology should convince you this is another legitimate question.
Just seach any florida man and xenos will go wild about their findings
"Can I weaponize it?"
"Especially if it was produced by humanity in fact."
Don't panic
Ya'll acting like you've never turned a neutron bomb in your living into a fleshlight.
I do think that how can I use this as a weapon should be one of the questions
Well, whoever brings an article on Darwin Award winners would probably win that class.
Guide books should not be trusted especially if it is provided by a human
It's 3 questions actually...
🖖😎
E
E
a reminder that pineapple goes with basically everything and is objectively the best possible pizza topping
and no you are not allowed to disagree😎
HERESY!!!
@@Litarifa brother get the flamer
The HEAVY flamer
@@kinologan5074 fuck that. I have spears.
Heathen. Any form of cooked pineapple is heresy. *You’re destroying the enzymes!!!*
And lets. It forget the second best thing to go on pizza
Pumpkin