Check out Tom Davison for inspiration on posting only when you feel like it :) I love that you're striving for balance - key! No INFJ is not a box. It's a structure for me. And yes, paralysis.... it's overwhelm and shutdown. Mental/emotional numbness, robotic behavior... this is known as shutdown in animals and believe it or not, can be mistaken for contentment "calmness" by unknowing pet owners. Honestly, I'm so sensitive to the echoes of other peoples' emotions and judgements, I find the best solace in isolation. Living like a bit of a hermit makes my intermittent social exposure more enjoyable. Just be you!! And be just you ;)
Speaking of balance, this is such beautifully balanced advice, and I will take it to heart. Thank you, my friend 💙 It means alot that you would take the time to explain so thoroughly. And it is nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling these "echos" as you so aptly put it.
The paralysis is real. I'm an indie music artist, and the non-music part of responding to listeners and other artists' messages and comments gets me all the time. It's overwhelming trying to think of the right words to respond with and how I'm going to come off, especially if it's someone asking to collaborate or asking for an opinion on one of their songs. Sometimes I just let messages sit because I'm not ready to move, then I feel guilty for not engaging, then I wait longer because I feel bad, then I snap out of it and end up responding months (or a year) later with "So sorry it took me this long.." which is probably so weird on the receiving end. I'm improving, though. I also think speaking on what comes to you when you decide to is a great way to go, especially if there's a backlog of content you can always pull from since everything is an algorithm now. I appreciate what you, Joyous Prairies, Wounded Healer & Comanche are doing - the organic topics and discussions about anything. Even if it's not an MBTI explainer video, it's nice to hear other topics discussed in INFJ (yeah, totally a language).
This makes me want to make another video. I appreciate the love, my friend. Your feedback is so insightful, and I was actually just talking to an infj friend TONIGHT who was struggling to tell someone no and create space for themselves. Boundaries are so so important for us because of how we think. And remembering that no one is entitled to comfort and consideration more than we are 💙
@@garrettashe8610 Glad my comment resonated. So much better to take the space you need before you end up burning out. And then you’ll have no choice but to take it anyways.
How are you with active listening? How are you with ascertaining what someone's needs are? Do they just want you to listen or fix a problem? Is the problem actually in your power to fix? If not, can you set boundaries about your feelings surrounding your inability to do so? Can someone else help? Would that help with the overwhelm and the internal conflict? Would that add to your peace? Would it allow you to remain present?
I'm an excellent active listener 😊. And I think you are right on target when it comes to assessing the way alot of infjs get lost in the needs of others, and the answer to that is setting boundaries. This was an issue I, myself, struggled with when I was younger. I think I'll be making a video at some point about that and some tools I used to help me overcome that (as you pointed out, a partner in crime can be just what the doctor ordered.) Around the time I recorded this video, my issues issues with people pleasing revolved less around me helping other people with their personal problems, and more around other people's expectations of my work. What would they think of it? What do they want to hear? Way will they think of I'm vulnerable? What will they think of me if I'm honest? The answer has been to tap into Fi (which I guess is not one of an infjs 4 main functions.) But I think aligning ones self with his or her inner truth can take away some of the burden and pressure that comes with a focus on pleasing others.
@@garrettashe8610 I'm just reading up about what makes things a bit more difficult for INFJ's It says "there can sometimes be a tug of war between the NF vision/idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving highest priority goals. The I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self awareness, makes it difficult to articulate your deepest and most convoluted feelings." Firstly, do you think that's true? If so, under what circumstances would that occur? They also discussed F and empaths. Do you think you are struggling with internal judging? Would you consider that these videos are a type of reflection to become more in tune with your feelings? To strengthen what you see as a deficit?
I personally, enjoy the journaling UA-cam videos. I'm not fluent with mbti.. perhaps if i was I'd enjoy it more but it's a foreign language that i only know thre basics of.
Check out Tom Davison for inspiration on posting only when you feel like it :) I love that you're striving for balance - key! No INFJ is not a box. It's a structure for me. And yes, paralysis.... it's overwhelm and shutdown. Mental/emotional numbness, robotic behavior... this is known as shutdown in animals and believe it or not, can be mistaken for contentment "calmness" by unknowing pet owners. Honestly, I'm so sensitive to the echoes of other peoples' emotions and judgements, I find the best solace in isolation. Living like a bit of a hermit makes my intermittent social exposure more enjoyable. Just be you!! And be just you ;)
Speaking of balance, this is such beautifully balanced advice, and I will take it to heart. Thank you, my friend 💙
It means alot that you would take the time to explain so thoroughly. And it is nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling these "echos" as you so aptly put it.
The paralysis is real. I'm an indie music artist, and the non-music part of responding to listeners and other artists' messages and comments gets me all the time. It's overwhelming trying to think of the right words to respond with and how I'm going to come off, especially if it's someone asking to collaborate or asking for an opinion on one of their songs. Sometimes I just let messages sit because I'm not ready to move, then I feel guilty for not engaging, then I wait longer because I feel bad, then I snap out of it and end up responding months (or a year) later with "So sorry it took me this long.." which is probably so weird on the receiving end. I'm improving, though. I also think speaking on what comes to you when you decide to is a great way to go, especially if there's a backlog of content you can always pull from since everything is an algorithm now. I appreciate what you, Joyous Prairies, Wounded Healer & Comanche are doing - the organic topics and discussions about anything. Even if it's not an MBTI explainer video, it's nice to hear other topics discussed in INFJ (yeah, totally a language).
This makes me want to make another video. I appreciate the love, my friend. Your feedback is so insightful, and I was actually just talking to an infj friend TONIGHT who was struggling to tell someone no and create space for themselves. Boundaries are so so important for us because of how we think. And remembering that no one is entitled to comfort and consideration more than we are 💙
@@garrettashe8610 Glad my comment resonated. So much better to take the space you need before you end up burning out. And then you’ll have no choice but to take it anyways.
I'm looking forward to the way you're planning your future videos and I'm excited to see more of your visual poetry.
Glad you are not stuck. Thanks for a video today
People pleasing.. that's been on my mind lately, as well.
How are you with active listening? How are you with ascertaining what someone's needs are? Do they just want you to listen or fix a problem? Is the problem actually in your power to fix? If not, can you set boundaries about your feelings surrounding your inability to do so? Can someone else help? Would that help with the overwhelm and the internal conflict? Would that add to your peace? Would it allow you to remain present?
I'm an excellent active listener 😊. And I think you are right on target when it comes to assessing the way alot of infjs get lost in the needs of others, and the answer to that is setting boundaries. This was an issue I, myself, struggled with when I was younger. I think I'll be making a video at some point about that and some tools I used to help me overcome that (as you pointed out, a partner in crime can be just what the doctor ordered.)
Around the time I recorded this video, my issues issues with people pleasing revolved less around me helping other people with their personal problems, and more around other people's expectations of my work. What would they think of it? What do they want to hear? Way will they think of I'm vulnerable? What will they think of me if I'm honest? The answer has been to tap into Fi (which I guess is not one of an infjs 4 main functions.) But I think aligning ones self with his or her inner truth can take away some of the burden and pressure that comes with a focus on pleasing others.
@@garrettashe8610 Thank you for clarifying
@@garrettashe8610 I'm just reading up about what makes things a bit more difficult for INFJ's It says "there can sometimes be a tug of war between the NF vision/idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving highest priority goals. The I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self awareness, makes it difficult to articulate your deepest and most convoluted feelings." Firstly, do you think that's true? If so, under what circumstances would that occur? They also discussed F and empaths. Do you think you are struggling with internal judging? Would you consider that these videos are a type of reflection to become more in tune with your feelings? To strengthen what you see as a deficit?
I personally, enjoy the journaling UA-cam videos. I'm not fluent with mbti.. perhaps if i was I'd enjoy it more but it's a foreign language that i only know thre basics of.