They could have compromised and done a smaller one. Offered up collateral. Make a legal contract. Etc. But that's because it wasn't a Smokescreen. A justification. It's like how Blue Lives Matter, EXCEPT on Jan 6th. You support the Troops, EXCEPT when the Republican President or Former President shit talks Captured Vets. It's something you say to make yourself LOOK more moral.
bro... the first time I told my parents "My House, My Rules" WAS GOLDEN!!!! the look on their face! the only thing I regret is not dancing on the spot as they tried to argue why they were still right HAHAHAHAHAHAAH but i was taught better..... Being Right Means Nothing When Have All The Power..... and a lil bit of ... Justifications Only Matter To The Just
@@alexbergkvist7214That will count for nothing since the parents don’t see anything wrong with taking money without permission. With people like that, it isn’t so much if they’d do it again, so much as how what circumstance will tempt them enough to steal from their favourite child.
@alexbergkvist7214 that still doesn't change anything. If anything, they're more vulnerable because they are not usually the ones who are targeted and won't have a good protection against this type of abuse
That is true, but when you have parents like that, your perspective is skewed. She did come around eventually and that is good. She can change for the better, it just takes time.
Absolutely, theft is theft regardless of who does it. That's a crucial lesson to remember: never give your credit card information to anyone, not even your parents. Have you had any experiences where this kind of caution would have helped? I'd love to hear your thoughts on how to protect ourselves from such situations.
I hate when parents say "family helps each other" but when the time comes for Op to need that help, suddenly they can't help or "pay" what is owed to Op, it's a classic case of favourtism.
Because it's all a lie and smokescreen. Justification and Moral Platitude. It's there to hide their TRUE feelings. "I am not Racist, I just think Blue Lives Matter too... EXCEPT on Jan 6th, then Criminal Lives Matter but NOT Blue Lives"
I'm lucky for a decent family. Who the fuck takes their kids money without asking. Id be so effing hurt, not because of money, but the disrespect of my time earning that cash.
this is not real. It is made by AI. You can tell by the overuse of certain words and how most AI made stories use that "I've learned a bout the dynamics of..." whatever thing.
Primitive mindset they’re just doing what instincts tell them but not thinking far ahead enough to care about the consequences. I mean the government has like 50 security nets for them so why not.
Because some people have Favorites and just don't care. It can start out small and turn into a HUGE monster. There's various reasons like never wanting a boy so they don't even their daughter. Sometimes it's Enabling someone to act out because they have a Disability. An the more you feed it the worse it gets.
What's worse is the fact that some people have grown accustomed to saying, "Well, they're family. You HAVE to help them." Even worse than that, the fact that parents can sit there with a straight face and say "I gave you life. You owe me for raising you" is disturbing. As parents, they made the decision to have children. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies, "A son doesn't choose his father." As a parent, they are responsible for raising their child until legal age for whatever country they live in. Being proud of raising your child or holding the fact you gave them their life over their heads is a wild concept to me. No parent should ever be gloating over the fact that they raised their children. That's their responsibility as parents. It's why we have the term dead-beat dad/mom. Being a good parent is a requirement, not a bonus.
My mom put it "Forgive people- from a safe distance." Let the hurt and anger go, if you can, but never let them back into your life to hurt you all over again. Also remember that hate is poison. Literally. Hating someone is like drinking poison, then kissing your ex on the lips hoping they'll die too.
Why?? Consider - the global consensus of opinion when someone has been victimized, is that the solution to the problem lies in the hands of the one who did no wrong. How is that even logical?
Glad Emma has realized her part in OP's misery and is willing to try and make a better change, especially since she's seen the consequences of such behavior. Favoritism is poisonous to all children: making children like OP scapegoats and ATMs in the minds of the parents and spoiled irresponsible brats in children like Emma. It won't be an easy road for either of them since it damaged their sibling bond so badly.
I really dislike when parents say, WE RAISED YOU AND TOOK CARE OF YOU GROWING UP... YOU OWE US Really!?!? Well you made a choice to bring life into this world, that is up to you to take care of that child.
The other point these sorts of parents forget is When they are old their kids will be taking care of them - that is what pays it off You look after me at the start of my life - I look after you at the end of yours. My family has always operated like this
@@amandanightstar8012 there's really only one thing you can do that would lead to making a kid, so unless someone forced a women to do it, that's not really an argument.
@@Rill_1 it's the case in many states now but take Texas as an example since they are the strictes case if a 12 year old girl is r*ped by her father and becomes pregnant from it she is forced to carry to term no exception to said case. Per Texas law abortion is illegal from the moment of fertilization and no exception for r*pe and inc*est. And because it is so strict alot of doctors won't do it now even if it is a medical emergency so unless that kid has a mom that can take her out of state that 12 year old is now dead. Your opinion is invalid at this point because you are not aware of all the states and counties that have banned abortion, ignorance is not bliss my friend. USA keeps moving back in time that's just the reality of it.
The solution is real simple: OP should spring a 15K charge on THEIR credit and tell them it's no big deal and it's for family and they should support him and they should stop being selfish and they'll ruin his life if he can't have the money and he'll pay them back....someday. I know, I know.......OP's parents probably have ZERO credit.
Actually the solution he brought led to way better future events, essentially doing what you said here shows that your no better and even if they did it first, by doing it to them your also being a thief and can be charged for it too...
No completely agree. While we're on the subject can I get your card details and all the security details as well? Because we really shouldn't be insistent on fraud 🤷🏻♂️😂😂
And watch how fast they shut that down or go "Oh I don't have it" or variations of "Are you out of your mind?" "I would love to but it's just not in my budget right now" or even "What do you mean donate money for this?"
@@Elbon-the-Lolinator I sold mom's newer rehabbed trailer and the ~2 acres of land it sat on for $10k. Not a palace, but it's a roof, and the property taxes were affordable even in New York State, the highest taxed state in the republic. Even higher than the People's Republic of California.
Exactly. Why don't the entitled parents' legion of flying monkeys pry open their own wallets, take up a collection among themselves, and pay off the debt? "But but but but but. . ."
After the trip was cancelled and credit returned, he should have taken a loan in their parents’ name and paid for the same trip for her sister. Then say ”but it’s for family”
@@chinaking918no he couldn’t they stole from him so why should he be forced to pay for something he wouldn’t get any benefits or joy out of that . Family or not
If the other family members are calling OP selfish for not letting the parents steal from him because their "family" then why don't they pitch in a pay for the sisters trip
Something that wasnt mentioned towards the end is that after hearing the revelation that the parents were in major financial trouble then it would be reasonable to assume that they never had any means or intention to pay back the 15k. Which makes their actions even more despicable to me.
And to make matters worse, it's only 15k if he could afford to pay all that at the end of the month, otherwise it's even more money due to the interest buildup
Lent my honorary niece and her ne'er-do-well 2nd husband some money to keep them from getting evicted. They were going to come over and work it off as they could helping me with yard work at a rate of $20 an hour (each), plus we'd feed them and watch their kids. I miss their kids sometimes. :-( I have no idea why that girl deliberately and voluntarily chose to climb down to the bottom rung of the socioeconomic ladder and take up residence there. That is NOT how she was raised. It's one thing to live in a trailer park due to economic necessity. It's quite another to lie down in the stereotypes about people who live in trailer parks and wallow in them.
People always use the saying, *Blood is thicker than water*, but, that's not the original saying, which was, *The Blood of the Covenant, is thicker than the water of the womb*. Blood did not mean family ties, it was a blood Covenant, often made by two individuals, or even two nations, binding together through an ancient Covenant. This would also be the case with solders, what they go through together, binds them as brothers. The water that is referred to, is the water of the womb. Knowing this, you realize that the phrase "blood is thicker than water" actually meant that though family relationships form a close connection, some other relationships may be even stronger.
Hold up OP said he felt violated and disrespected because they used his card and his info for the trip but then said he didn't want to disrupt the peace?!? Homie ya parents did that NOT you so the gloves are off and it's time to grow a spine and use it
I love, how the last update showed OP's growth and healing. Setting your boundaries for the first time in your life is so hard and OP has managed so beautifully ❤
"We'll pay you back eventually" Oh so the 15k, and the interest that accrues from it too? Saying these people were idiots would be an insult to the word.
If "eventually" means in less than a month, then sure, but otherwise, cancel the damn trip and refund all money. Because let's be honest, cancelling a trip probably incurs a penalty fee.
“Eventually” not necessarily means “using money”. In the minds of such people it can be “we paid for the food you ate last week”, or something retrospective as “we grown you”.
I met someone who would borrow me money and said he will pay it back Thursday, or Monday. But he wouldn't say which Thursday or Monday. So might be the Thursday 100 years from now or the Thursday from another universe.
@@vDungeon my sister once said she hate people with such excuses. I used to not really understand. But now i do. They be borrowing you money and said "remember the party i held last Friday? You drink and ate a lot don't you?" 😑 They're treating it like it's coupons
A buddy of mine at work would collect cash from everybody when we ate out, then put the meal and tip on his airline miles credit card so he could get the points. IIRC he flew to Hawaii once and Germany once on points. So, they not only piled $15k in debt on OP, they stole the monetary value of what those points could have bought.
"If you're going to pay me back, and you're 'good for it' than go ahead and pay me back right now. If I don't see the money, then tomorrow I'll need to report this as fraud. K thanks, bye."
I was honestly waiting for the "I can't believe you're tearing apart our family over money". 🙄 Wow, they're SO generous as long as it's not coming from their own pockets. Usually when family says they'll pay you back it means you're never seeing that money. This is blatant thievery. Ofc the credit card company was going to try to force op to pay this debt. They want their money. Op had no choice. It's easy to tell someone to just take one for the team when you're not the one being financially abused.
There's LITERALLY NO Relationship to lose. It was NEVER there with the parents, and whatever was there with the Sister was killed off by the parents. You can tell because NEVER ONCE do they try to empathize. They NEVER try to compromise. He is just their Whipping Boy and Pay Pig. Love means Sacrifice and NEVER do they sacrifice for him
I hope OP and Emma can develop a good relationship. That way OP can show her how to lock down her credit so the trash parents don’t start opening up cards using her info.
Some people refer to it as "The soggy potato chip theory." Most people love fresh crispy tasty potato chips. But if you're hungry enough, you will choke down nasty soggy stale potato chips, because that's better than nothing. The same applies to attention from parents. Even negative attention is better than being invisible. That can lead to a child deliberately acting out, so that they will at least get some response from their cold, neglectful parents.
I feel what hurts the most is he wasn’t even included in the trip, the fact that the parents didn’t ask for permission is even worse. He was within his rights about clapping back at them
WOW‼️ THAT IS THEFT‼️ His family is selfish AF and clearly don’t give a damn about his feelings and financial well being. Glad to hear he’s recovering mentally and financially. 😌
It’s sad when family abuses your trust and then tell you to suck it up. If it harms you mentally and physically, you need to set boundaries. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your health.
I believe that it is right to be supportive of family, to care for and collaborate with your family. Engaging in favouritism and taking $15K without asking is not being supportive.
So since people saying OP should just take one for the team, why don’t they give them some money then? 15k isn’t a small amount. Also the didn’t even invite OP on the trip. Like how you gonna spend someone else’s money and not even make a space for them?
It blows my mind that no one seems to know when they've been betrayed in these stories. I've been betrayed a few times. Once by my parent also and not once did I think. "Am I being unreasonable here", when I return the same energy back.
OP made the right move to cancel the trip because it was theft, not a gift. Cancelling all and increasing security measures was also the right move. Emma is a selfish brat.
@@dcg590 @HeliosX28 you can get multiple jobs related to technical writing, copywriting, SEO, etc and they ask for degrees in English, communications, or related fields. Including many, many that offer remote positions and pay $60k per year at bare minimum (higher than $100k at the really prestigious/senior level positions) but I guess shitting on liberal arts and making statements about things you don't know makes you feel real superior huh
Right. You're SUPPOSED to feed and clothe your children. It's an obligation. Not a choice. So you don't get credit for doing it. Instead, you will be punished for not feeding and clothing your children. It's something you let yourself in for when you have children, which nobody has to do. You create a helpless human being, you're obliged to help and support it. All humans throughout history have known and accepted this, and plenty of animals beside. That someone would have, at the same time, both the cheek, and the obliviousness... boggles the mind! Yeah I'd push for jail time if it were me. Your "family" doesn't rob you. Dude was stupid to trust them with his bank details, he surely knew what they were like. Sometimes abused people collaborate in their abuse for a while, glad our guy woke up.
Get a lawyer the card company is lying... Lay theft charges with the FBI and charge the card company for being complicit at the same time. Those card companies are bound by inter national law as they trade in other countries where this is illegal
@@damienchall8297 The human heart is desperately wicked and above all deceitful, who can know it?! There are things people should not know in your business. Be they siblings, or friends. A lot of people have lost their blessings and their lives because they told people their business! A wise man keeps his mouth shut!
Those arguing "Take one for the team" make me sick. They never bother including THEMSELVES but demand others to fix a situation they have plenty option to contribute to help or, better yet, mind their own business. It's not their money, life, and credit history on the line. It was OP. They had the right to be upset and demand retribution for their blatant favoritism, betrayal, and cruel behavior.
That's not a "Oh we lost our own bank card so we needed to put a weeks groceries on there" or a "x person got ill and needed a taxi" it's a rediculous amount of money on something frivelous without any kind of realistic plan to pay it back. Fuck 'em, they tried to steal, taking that shit to court and writing them off to prevent anything like that happening again is the logical thing to do.
The thing is, when you grow up in a household where being used seems like it's normal, resisting that feels like you're being a bad person. Whether the parents intended to foster unhealthy boundaries in their son or not, they did, and the internal conflict he had was a result of that. The fact that you and I know it's not okay for anyone (family or otherwise) to make fraudulent charges on our credit means that we have good boundaries in that regard. But not everyone was raised to have those. It's hard to break free of your abusers, and it takes a big wake up call for people to even consider it, a lot of the time. All the outside perspectives OP got on Reddit was the wake-up call he needed. That being said, there's no telling if this story is even real, but if it is, that's what I think about the matter. :) Real or not, the fact is that parents all over the US do this to their kids all the time, and many is the time I see a young adult trying to apply for a loan, only to find that his or her parents ruined their credit without telling them. It's a sad realization to have to hand someone.
--- If you let this go, your parents will run amok with your credit card. Did you ask your parent why Emma deserved a $15K vacation for graduating and you received xxx for yours? Glad you decided to set limits on your parents.
Man, I was fooled. I thought this was real. 15:20 onwards has all the hallmarks of AI generated content. This has taught me... I have realized that... Recognizing patterns... It's been a painful process, but also... And then... "for those of you who are dealing with...here's to new beginnings..."
I've long been a proponent of the idea that "The ones that are family are the ones that act like family". If they're lying, cheating, backstabbing scumbags to you then they're not family.
If such situations r- happening in the family then- stop this credit card company and start with- another card company, without informing the family.AND then- wait for them to- return the money . Good luck.
It is not an offspring's responsibility to fund their parents' desires!! You work hard to support yourself just as they support themselves. Expecting to STEAL your CHILDS money because YOU chose to have a child is NOT their responsibility to reciprocate any $$$ unless your child is willing to contribute for some unforseen desires, like a childs graduation present!! They chose to offer to send their child on a vacation they were NOT willing to foot the bill THEMSELVES!! IF they had APPROACHED op with the idea and asked to SPLIT the costs, that would have been a MUCH better solution, then Stealing their son's HARD EARNED $$$ ESPECIALLY because he worked hard and put HIMSELF through college!! Then, on top of that he found out they were going to CREATIVELY STEAL their son's hard earned money to FINANCE other things without OP's knowledge is DIABOLICAL and DISRESPECTFUL!!🤑🤑 Their AUDACITY is truly ASTOUNDING!! WOW!!☹️😮😯😲😳😇
I'm glad everyone involved eventually got together in therapy, and those in the wrong admitted they were wrong. I'm also glad to hear that those who needed it, managed to achieve personal growth.
Honestly, this OP is a better man than me. If it had been me, I would have probably went fully NC permanently. Credit card fraud against your own kid is just...unforgiveable. The legal situation is understandable though. No one wants to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees just to put their parents in their place. Glad this turned out to be a better ending than most.
Dude the EASIEST way to shut down people like OP’s parents is to straight up ask them “oh I’m sorry, would YOU like it if your mother randomly charged thousands of dollars to your card without consent? No? Then why is it okay for you to do to me?” It’s funny to watch a narcissist try to comprehend their own actions being placed against them, but a true narcissist will think about the question and still not care about how it affected you, and that’s when you know to truly leave them to wallow in their own pit of despair they create. (Speaking from experience, I’m NC with my narc mother)
Parents and Emma were, indeed, assholes. This is out of discussion. On the other hand they probably aren’t bad people, sometimes ppl need someone to speak up to slowly open their eyes. I wouldn’t trust them monetarily, but im glad they’re realizing their mistakes (apparently). I really hope they are in their best intentions and truly trying to be better. Yeah, sometimes no contact is the only way out, but if there’s any chance of reconciliation with honest intentions and feelings, it’s always good to build up family bond, even if it is a slow process. Glad OP and his family are trying to be a family again.
God to put your child in debt to upkeep the appearance of being financially sound. Go straight to Retirement Home, do not pass GO, do not collect your sons credit card.
My future son-in-law had this happen to him by his mother, who also squandered all of the social security benefits he received from his deceased father. He recently needed legal help & his mother offered to help. We later learned that ‘help’ came from a cash advance off of one of the cards she’d opened in his name. Unbelievable. I’m advising him to press charges for fraud & strip her of the unearned title of ‘mother’.
Why would they have access to your credit card to begin with for "emergencies"? Maybe it is just me but if family needed money under certain cirmstances they wouldnt have an ease of access to said money and would need me to manually send it to them via transfer.
Not your place to pay for your sisters graduation gift! If your parents really wanted to give that to her then they should have saved that amount and done it! It is not ok to put all those charges to max out your credit card for your sister. You mom and dad made me sick and your sister is just use to getting everything she wants when she wants. It’s sad that your parents think it’s ok for you to pay $15,000 for a graduation trip for your sister no way dude. Did they give you a$15,000 trip when you graduated?
Wow, this sounds like something straight out of a soap opera. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Just take it one day at a time and cut toxic people out of your life
Heard a similar story second hand. Apparently they were already on the trip after using this high school guy’s savings for college on a trip for the rest of the family. When the family returned their home was burned to the ground, cars were in the garage so also gone and high school boy had ghosted them completely.
As for the author - he did overcomplicate. Yes it was right to cancel the transactions and return the money back. Then he had just to do what he dis in the end - close the card and open a new one so parents cannot use it. Regarding his sister - she wasn’t guilty. It was the best example for her to see why exactly her parents were wrong - you cannot take other’s person’s money without consent. If you do - you may face consequences.
we didnt ask to be born giving your child a life food water clothes ETC is by law required and that doesn't in any way mean that you can use your kid as a doormat absolutely horrible parents
In a different situation, but similar feelings, years ago someone tried to shame me for "not being there" for a certain relative, saying something like, "She didn't have ANYONE, you know," in a tone of voice that sounded like she was trying to make it my fault. It hit like an arrow at first, but I was already in therapy at the time, and was able to recognize that she had made her own choices that caused her to be "alone." The fact that she "didn't have ANYONE" simply didn't belong to me. She made her own choices. It's definitely okay to set boundaries, and to say no when necessary.
No one in my family shares credit information. And even if they had it, my parents would never do that to me! I'm glad OP's parents finally came to their senses.
The solution is straightforward: OP should consider placing a $15,000 charge on their own credit and telling their parents it's not a big deal, emphasizing it's for family. They could stress the importance of family support, suggesting that refusing would be selfish and could ruin OP's life. They can assure their parents they'll repay the money eventually.
10:41 you weren't being punished for something that wasn't your fault, the parents were trying to reward you with something that wasn't rightfully theirs to give, and OP simply revoked it. No punishment to be had here, just fairness.
![[FULL STORY] My Family Ignored My Birthday for Years, So I Planned the Ultimate Party, And They...](/img/n.gif)
If the 15k isn't such a big deal to parents, then why didn't they take the loan?
Prolly have credit that is too schitty.
Exactly end if the other family members don't see it as a big deal because it's "family " why don't they pitch in a few bucks
They could have compromised and done a smaller one. Offered up collateral. Make a legal contract. Etc.
But that's because it wasn't a Smokescreen. A justification.
It's like how Blue Lives Matter, EXCEPT on Jan 6th. You support the Troops, EXCEPT when the Republican President or Former President shit talks Captured Vets. It's something you say to make yourself LOOK more moral.
Fr tho I would've said smt like "why didn't you pay it then"
@@potatos865they never have an answer for that question.
I’m so sick of the “we raised you” BS. That’s not a flex. It’s your damn responsibility as a parent.
It's the absolute minimum expectation for a person.
Maybe Asian? its very common in Asian households.
Right? It's not an automatically assumed thing that they raise you then are entitled to your money forever after
bro... the first time I told my parents "My House, My Rules" WAS GOLDEN!!!!
the look on their face! the only thing I regret is not dancing on the spot as they tried to argue why they were still right HAHAHAHAHAHAAH
but i was taught better..... Being Right Means Nothing When Have All The Power..... and a lil bit of ... Justifications Only Matter To The Just
Boomer logic to the max.
Emma better lock down her credit, too. When a predator loses one source of prey, it looks for another.
Emma is the favorite child
It doesn't work that way. Favorite or not, the mental illness has a need to be fed like that.
@@alexbergkvist7214That will count for nothing since the parents don’t see anything wrong with taking money without permission. With people like that, it isn’t so much if they’d do it again, so much as how what circumstance will tempt them enough to steal from their favourite child.
@alexbergkvist7214 that still doesn't change anything. If anything, they're more vulnerable because they are not usually the ones who are targeted and won't have a good protection against this type of abuse
@@craddadyfishfries7147 I like ur pfp
Emma says it wasn't her fault--the initial crime wasn't her fault but her refusing to cancel the trip AS SOON as she knew the truth was HER fault.
That is true, but when you have parents like that, your perspective is skewed. She did come around eventually and that is good. She can change for the better, it just takes time.
Theft is theft, no matter who the thief is.
Important lesson: NEVER GIVE YOUR CREDIT CARD INFORMATION TO ANYONE, NOT EVEN YOUR PARENTS!
W pfp
BINGO
Absolutely, theft is theft regardless of who does it. That's a crucial lesson to remember: never give your credit card information to anyone, not even your parents. Have you had any experiences where this kind of caution would have helped? I'd love to hear your thoughts on how to protect ourselves from such situations.
Bravo
My guess is they were only going to give him 15k. Not the 20% interest every month. They are idiots.
I hate when parents say "family helps each other" but when the time comes for Op to need that help, suddenly they can't help or "pay" what is owed to Op, it's a classic case of favourtism.
Right when it came to him he had to earn everything.
Agreed. I hear that BS statement on reddit so much and wonder what the hell is wrong with the damn parents.
This has major "Do it for Dan" vibes.
Because it's all a lie and smokescreen. Justification and Moral Platitude.
It's there to hide their TRUE feelings. "I am not Racist, I just think Blue Lives Matter too... EXCEPT on Jan 6th, then Criminal Lives Matter but NOT Blue Lives"
I'm lucky for a decent family.
Who the fuck takes their kids money without asking.
Id be so effing hurt, not because of money, but the disrespect of my time earning that cash.
The fact that there are people thinking what the parents did is okay is frightening.
It's because those kinds of people have no morals.
Entitlement
Theire the same kind of people as these parents
this is not real. It is made by AI. You can tell by the overuse of certain words and how most AI made stories use that "I've learned a bout the dynamics of..." whatever thing.
Theft is theft no matter who does it. However, having family do it makes it far worse.
I'll never understand how people choose to create a life and somehow also choose to treat their own flesh and blood horribly
Primitive mindset they’re just doing what instincts tell them but not thinking far ahead enough to care about the consequences. I mean the government has like 50 security nets for them so why not.
More often than you'd think, people choose to create life with the express purpose of treating their own flesh and blood horribly
It's heartbreaking how some parents can be so cruel to their own children.
Because some people have Favorites and just don't care. It can start out small and turn into a HUGE monster.
There's various reasons like never wanting a boy so they don't even their daughter. Sometimes it's Enabling someone to act out because they have a Disability. An the more you feed it the worse it gets.
What's worse is the fact that some people have grown accustomed to saying, "Well, they're family. You HAVE to help them." Even worse than that, the fact that parents can sit there with a straight face and say "I gave you life. You owe me for raising you" is disturbing. As parents, they made the decision to have children. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies, "A son doesn't choose his father." As a parent, they are responsible for raising their child until legal age for whatever country they live in. Being proud of raising your child or holding the fact you gave them their life over their heads is a wild concept to me. No parent should ever be gloating over the fact that they raised their children. That's their responsibility as parents. It's why we have the term dead-beat dad/mom. Being a good parent is a requirement, not a bonus.
No matter if it’s your family or friends it’s still fraud and theft.
Mock*
$15000 and to say " i will pay you back eventually " is so diabolically crazy is wild .
If they include the interest it would quickly become 20k
"eventually"
Actually, I was totally getting "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" vibes. Good old J. Wellington Wimpy from the Popeye cartoons.
This story gives off a Golden Rule: forgive, but on your terms. No one is beyond redemption, but they have to want it first.
Forgive but don't forget. If they violate your boundaries again, then don't forgive or forget.
My mom put it "Forgive people- from a safe distance." Let the hurt and anger go, if you can, but never let them back into your life to hurt you all over again.
Also remember that hate is poison. Literally. Hating someone is like drinking poison, then kissing your ex on the lips hoping they'll die too.
Why?? Consider - the global consensus of opinion when someone has been victimized, is that the solution to the problem lies in the hands of the one who did no wrong. How is that even logical?
Glad Emma has realized her part in OP's misery and is willing to try and make a better change, especially since she's seen the consequences of such behavior. Favoritism is poisonous to all children: making children like OP scapegoats and ATMs in the minds of the parents and spoiled irresponsible brats in children like Emma. It won't be an easy road for either of them since it damaged their sibling bond so badly.
I really dislike when parents say, WE RAISED YOU AND TOOK CARE OF YOU GROWING UP... YOU OWE US
Really!?!? Well you made a choice to bring life into this world, that is up to you to take care of that child.
The other point these sorts of parents forget is
When they are old their kids will be taking care of them - that is what pays it off
You look after me at the start of my life - I look after you at the end of yours.
My family has always operated like this
In alot of countries the woman don't have a choice in the matter
Congratulations on doing the bare minimum that you’re supposed to do!
@@amandanightstar8012 there's really only one thing you can do that would lead to making a kid, so unless someone forced a women to do it, that's not really an argument.
@@Rill_1 it's the case in many states now but take Texas as an example since they are the strictes case if a 12 year old girl is r*ped by her father and becomes pregnant from it she is forced to carry to term no exception to said case. Per Texas law abortion is illegal from the moment of fertilization and no exception for r*pe and inc*est. And because it is so strict alot of doctors won't do it now even if it is a medical emergency so unless that kid has a mom that can take her out of state that 12 year old is now dead. Your opinion is invalid at this point because you are not aware of all the states and counties that have banned abortion, ignorance is not bliss my friend. USA keeps moving back in time that's just the reality of it.
The solution is real simple: OP should spring a 15K charge on THEIR credit and tell them it's no big deal and it's for family and they should support him and they should stop being selfish and they'll ruin his life if he can't have the money and he'll pay them back....someday.
I know, I know.......OP's parents probably have ZERO credit.
If it all possible, they have less than zero credit.
Actually the solution he brought led to way better future events, essentially doing what you said here shows that your no better and even if they did it first, by doing it to them your also being a thief and can be charged for it too...
Retaliation of the EXACT SAME illegal felony? My guy.
@@cameronmiyao2673 Talion's law
To all those mouth breathers being so insistent on enabling fraud, either run OP his money, pay for the trip yourself, or STFU.
Well I would, but it's not my family so I shouldn't get involved 🙄
That’s the part that kills me. That ANYONE would side with his parents and spoiled sister.
No completely agree. While we're on the subject can I get your card details and all the security details as well? Because we really shouldn't be insistent on fraud 🤷🏻♂️😂😂
The people who said Take one for the team.
Sure, do it yourself, give them your credit card.
And watch how fast they shut that down or go "Oh I don't have it" or variations of "Are you out of your mind?" "I would love to but it's just not in my budget right now" or even "What do you mean donate money for this?"
15 grand is penny pinching?!?!
Could I borrow a couple of bucks from those people? Then I can buy a nice villa.
My house back in 2020 costed $12k to buy. More than I paid for my house...
You can live more than a year in the southeast asia 😂
@@Elbon-the-Lolinator I sold mom's newer rehabbed trailer and the ~2 acres of land it sat on for $10k. Not a palace, but it's a roof, and the property taxes were affordable even in New York State, the highest taxed state in the republic. Even higher than the People's Republic of California.
Don’t know why the parents couldnt just spend their own 15k 🗿
because that would be their money, why would they want to use their money when they could just steal it from OP? /s
@@Finn_the_stoned Or they don't have the money or credit.
@@Finn_the_stonedor they have none
they wanted to use his points and stuff
They didn’t have the money
Another do it for Dan Story 🤦🏻♀️
Damn has everyone hear the Do It For Dan story😂😂
Yes
"DO IT FOR EMMA!"
Do IT For Dan was straight up the first one of these that I listened to 😂
On the other hand, Emma wised up a lot sooner than Dan.
If the extended family wants her to have the trip so bad why don’t they fund it 🤷🏻♀️
Exactly. Why don't the entitled parents' legion of flying monkeys pry open their own wallets, take up a collection among themselves, and pay off the debt? "But but but but but. . ."
After the trip was cancelled and credit returned, he should have taken a loan in their parents’ name and paid for the same trip for her sister. Then say ”but it’s for family”
Or “you could pay it off….eventually”
Except you know their credit is no good so that will never work
That would also be wrong.
@@chinaking918no he couldn’t they stole from him so why should he be forced to pay for something he wouldn’t get any benefits or joy out of that . Family or not
All the people saying to take one for the team should pony up the 15k.
As rslash fans say, "Do it for Dan!!"
This is not a family worth keeping, these parents are trash. Let them go, and find your own family that actually loves you.
I thought the same thing. I think it was a bad choice trying to reconnect with them and waste his time going back to that crap.
If the other family members are calling OP selfish for not letting the parents steal from him because their "family" then why don't they pitch in a pay for the sisters trip
what is OP?
@@Shanti-qr3ky original poster
Something that wasnt mentioned towards the end is that after hearing the revelation that the parents were in major financial trouble then it would be reasonable to assume that they never had any means or intention to pay back the 15k. Which makes their actions even more despicable to me.
And to make matters worse, it's only 15k if he could afford to pay all that at the end of the month, otherwise it's even more money due to the interest buildup
Lent my honorary niece and her ne'er-do-well 2nd husband some money to keep them from getting evicted. They were going to come over and work it off as they could helping me with yard work at a rate of $20 an hour (each), plus we'd feed them and watch their kids. I miss their kids sometimes. :-(
I have no idea why that girl deliberately and voluntarily chose to climb down to the bottom rung of the socioeconomic ladder and take up residence there. That is NOT how she was raised.
It's one thing to live in a trailer park due to economic necessity.
It's quite another to lie down in the stereotypes about people who live in trailer parks and wallow in them.
And 15k is a HUMONGOUS ask for " take one for the team "
People always use the saying, *Blood is thicker than water*, but, that's not the original saying, which was, *The Blood of the Covenant, is thicker than the water of the womb*. Blood did not mean family ties, it was a blood Covenant, often made by two individuals, or even two nations, binding together through an ancient Covenant. This would also be the case with solders, what they go through together, binds them as brothers. The water that is referred to, is the water of the womb. Knowing this, you realize that the phrase "blood is thicker than water" actually meant that though family relationships form a close connection, some other relationships may be even stronger.
Hold up OP said he felt violated and disrespected because they used his card and his info for the trip but then said he didn't want to disrupt the peace?!? Homie ya parents did that NOT you so the gloves are off and it's time to grow a spine and use it
I love, how the last update showed OP's growth and healing. Setting your boundaries for the first time in your life is so hard and OP has managed so beautifully ❤
"We'll pay you back eventually"
Oh so the 15k, and the interest that accrues from it too?
Saying these people were idiots would be an insult to the word.
If "eventually" means in less than a month, then sure, but otherwise, cancel the damn trip and refund all money. Because let's be honest, cancelling a trip probably incurs a penalty fee.
“Eventually” not necessarily means “using money”. In the minds of such people it can be “we paid for the food you ate last week”, or something retrospective as “we grown you”.
I met someone who would borrow me money and said he will pay it back Thursday, or Monday. But he wouldn't say which Thursday or Monday. So might be the Thursday 100 years from now or the Thursday from another universe.
@@vDungeon my sister once said she hate people with such excuses. I used to not really understand. But now i do. They be borrowing you money and said "remember the party i held last Friday? You drink and ate a lot don't you?" 😑 They're treating it like it's coupons
Most lazy ah excuse i have ever heard to spent 15k is wild
"we needed your extra points on your card" makes hella sense after aunty revealed the info bout the mom
A buddy of mine at work would collect cash from everybody when we ate out, then put the meal and tip on his airline miles credit card so he could get the points. IIRC he flew to Hawaii once and Germany once on points. So, they not only piled $15k in debt on OP, they stole the monetary value of what those points could have bought.
"If you're going to pay me back, and you're 'good for it' than go ahead and pay me back right now. If I don't see the money, then tomorrow I'll need to report this as fraud. K thanks, bye."
I was honestly waiting for the "I can't believe you're tearing apart our family over money". 🙄
Wow, they're SO generous as long as it's not coming from their own pockets. Usually when family says they'll pay you back it means you're never seeing that money. This is blatant thievery. Ofc the credit card company was going to try to force op to pay this debt. They want their money. Op had no choice.
It's easy to tell someone to just take one for the team when you're not the one being financially abused.
There's LITERALLY NO Relationship to lose. It was NEVER there with the parents, and whatever was there with the Sister was killed off by the parents.
You can tell because NEVER ONCE do they try to empathize. They NEVER try to compromise. He is just their Whipping Boy and Pay Pig.
Love means Sacrifice and NEVER do they sacrifice for him
If the others are so convinced that OP should've "taken one for the team" then let them fund $15k for that girl's trip. The entitlement here is crazy.
I hope OP and Emma can develop a good relationship. That way OP can show her how to lock down her credit so the trash parents don’t start opening up cards using her info.
An all expense Europe trip for a degree in COMMUNICATIONS?!! 😂😂😂
For the sister to probably become a barista like a liberal arts major
Communications is now a top field.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 maybe oversaturated but everything I see didn't have it in the top 5 let alone 10 yet.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 no it's not lmao, but it is a top field for NFL players who want an easy major to breeze through college
Loving a family that doesn't love you back is crazy to me.
Some people refer to it as "The soggy potato chip theory." Most people love fresh crispy tasty potato chips. But if you're hungry enough, you will choke down nasty soggy stale potato chips, because that's better than nothing.
The same applies to attention from parents. Even negative attention is better than being invisible. That can lead to a child deliberately acting out, so that they will at least get some response from their cold, neglectful parents.
I feel what hurts the most is he wasn’t even included in the trip, the fact that the parents didn’t ask for permission is even worse. He was within his rights about clapping back at them
After Reading all these stories am grateful to have such caring parents ❤
The people who were defending the 15K theft should've "taken one for the team" and pick up that charge themselves
WOW‼️ THAT IS THEFT‼️ His family is selfish AF and clearly don’t give a damn about his feelings and financial well being.
Glad to hear he’s recovering mentally and financially. 😌
In shock and disbelief that entitled people commited a felony? Why
It’s sad when family abuses your trust and then tell you to suck it up. If it harms you mentally and physically, you need to set boundaries. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, especially when it comes to your health.
The CC company is wrong - assuming this is the US, you can absolutely claim fraud or a dispute - you might have to file a police report.
I believe that it is right to be supportive of family, to care for and collaborate with your family. Engaging in favouritism and taking $15K without asking is not being supportive.
So since people saying OP should just take one for the team, why don’t they give them some money then? 15k isn’t a small amount. Also the didn’t even invite OP on the trip. Like how you gonna spend someone else’s money and not even make a space for them?
They ain't gone pay you back so you gotta report fraud 😂😂
Some people find it too easy to be generous with other peoples money
It blows my mind that no one seems to know when they've been betrayed in these stories. I've been betrayed a few times. Once by my parent also and not once did I think. "Am I being unreasonable here", when I return the same energy back.
Emma is way too chill about this. Girl, your credit is next. Wake up!
OP made the right move to cancel the trip because it was theft, not a gift. Cancelling all and increasing security measures was also the right move. Emma is a selfish brat.
A communications degree...... Overachieving right outa the gate.
Hahahaha...
Yup completely useless
@@dcg590honestly what can that translate to in the job field... Marketing perhaps?
@@dcg590 @HeliosX28 you can get multiple jobs related to technical writing, copywriting, SEO, etc and they ask for degrees in English, communications, or related fields. Including many, many that offer remote positions and pay $60k per year at bare minimum (higher than $100k at the really prestigious/senior level positions) but I guess shitting on liberal arts and making statements about things you don't know makes you feel real superior huh
@@HeliosX28 Diplomacy, advertisement, negotiating, writing (news/books/reports), teaching, translating
15....flipping....thousand....and they see...stealing THAT MUCH.....IS NORMAL!?
Right. You're SUPPOSED to feed and clothe your children. It's an obligation. Not a choice. So you don't get credit for doing it. Instead, you will be punished for not feeding and clothing your children. It's something you let yourself in for when you have children, which nobody has to do. You create a helpless human being, you're obliged to help and support it. All humans throughout history have known and accepted this, and plenty of animals beside.
That someone would have, at the same time, both the cheek, and the obliviousness... boggles the mind! Yeah I'd push for jail time if it were me. Your "family" doesn't rob you. Dude was stupid to trust them with his bank details, he surely knew what they were like. Sometimes abused people collaborate in their abuse for a while, glad our guy woke up.
I never asked a penny from my family. Hearing her complain about a « trip » she « earned » simply for graduating is outrageous.
"But they're family!" aka "be a doormat!"
Emma is so cuddled in her entire life that she don't see anything wrong in funding Europe trip in brother's credit card without his permission
Get a lawyer the card company is lying... Lay theft charges with the FBI and charge the card company for being complicit at the same time. Those card companies are bound by inter national law as they trade in other countries where this is illegal
Not even friends are supposed to know that you have gotten a raise of pay! It is nobody's business!
You have shit friends if you don't trust them to cheer for you
@@damienchall8297 The human heart is desperately wicked and above all deceitful, who can know it?! There are things people should not know in your business. Be they siblings, or friends. A lot of people have lost their blessings and their lives because they told people their business! A wise man keeps his mouth shut!
Those arguing "Take one for the team" make me sick. They never bother including THEMSELVES but demand others to fix a situation they have plenty option to contribute to help or, better yet, mind their own business.
It's not their money, life, and credit history on the line. It was OP. They had the right to be upset and demand retribution for their blatant favoritism, betrayal, and cruel behavior.
That's not a "Oh we lost our own bank card so we needed to put a weeks groceries on there" or a "x person got ill and needed a taxi" it's a rediculous amount of money on something frivelous without any kind of realistic plan to pay it back. Fuck 'em, they tried to steal, taking that shit to court and writing them off to prevent anything like that happening again is the logical thing to do.
I am fed up with these weak people always feeling guilty about doing the right thing 🤦
The thing is, when you grow up in a household where being used seems like it's normal, resisting that feels like you're being a bad person. Whether the parents intended to foster unhealthy boundaries in their son or not, they did, and the internal conflict he had was a result of that. The fact that you and I know it's not okay for anyone (family or otherwise) to make fraudulent charges on our credit means that we have good boundaries in that regard. But not everyone was raised to have those. It's hard to break free of your abusers, and it takes a big wake up call for people to even consider it, a lot of the time. All the outside perspectives OP got on Reddit was the wake-up call he needed. That being said, there's no telling if this story is even real, but if it is, that's what I think about the matter. :) Real or not, the fact is that parents all over the US do this to their kids all the time, and many is the time I see a young adult trying to apply for a loan, only to find that his or her parents ruined their credit without telling them. It's a sad realization to have to hand someone.
And the world is done with grown ups watching Videos Just to cry about them Like little karens😂
CANCEL THE CREDIT CARD
If people are this casual over 15000 smackers they can definitely afford it themselves
--- If you let this go, your parents will run amok with your credit card. Did you ask your parent why Emma deserved a $15K vacation for graduating and you received xxx for yours? Glad you decided to set limits on your parents.
Man, I was fooled. I thought this was real. 15:20 onwards has all the hallmarks of AI generated content. This has taught me... I have realized that... Recognizing patterns... It's been a painful process, but also... And then... "for those of you who are dealing with...here's to new beginnings..."
Whats a hall mark im not a very bright middle schooler despite the fact that English was my first language
@@ThejerryclanNo worries!
You could say a hallmark is a strong indication? "there's a strong indication that everything in this video is AI."
@@angelalee7012 thx man
“But they’re family.” If they’re family, they wouldn’t have done that to their son to begin with.
Flat out theft ... Don't feel sorry for protecting yourself
I've long been a proponent of the idea that "The ones that are family are the ones that act like family". If they're lying, cheating, backstabbing scumbags to you then they're not family.
If such situations r- happening in the family then- stop this credit card company and start with- another card company, without informing the family.AND then- wait for them to- return the money . Good luck.
It is not an offspring's responsibility to fund their parents' desires!! You work hard to support yourself just as they support themselves. Expecting to STEAL your CHILDS money because YOU chose to have a child is NOT their responsibility to reciprocate any $$$ unless your child is willing to contribute for some unforseen desires, like a childs graduation present!! They chose to offer to send their child on a vacation they were NOT willing to foot the bill THEMSELVES!!
IF they had APPROACHED op with the idea and asked to SPLIT the costs, that would have been a MUCH better solution, then Stealing their son's HARD EARNED $$$ ESPECIALLY because he worked hard and put HIMSELF through college!! Then, on top of that he found out they were going to CREATIVELY STEAL their son's hard earned money to FINANCE other things without OP's knowledge is DIABOLICAL and DISRESPECTFUL!!🤑🤑
Their AUDACITY is truly ASTOUNDING!!
WOW!!☹️😮😯😲😳😇
I'm glad everyone involved eventually got together in therapy, and those in the wrong admitted they were wrong.
I'm also glad to hear that those who needed it, managed to achieve personal growth.
“But they’re family” is not a good enough reason to excuse abusive behaviour. The entitlement is crazy!
Honestly, this OP is a better man than me. If it had been me, I would have probably went fully NC permanently. Credit card fraud against your own kid is just...unforgiveable. The legal situation is understandable though. No one wants to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees just to put their parents in their place. Glad this turned out to be a better ending than most.
Dude the EASIEST way to shut down people like OP’s parents is to straight up ask them “oh I’m sorry, would YOU like it if your mother randomly charged thousands of dollars to your card without consent? No? Then why is it okay for you to do to me?”
It’s funny to watch a narcissist try to comprehend their own actions being placed against them, but a true narcissist will think about the question and still not care about how it affected you, and that’s when you know to truly leave them to wallow in their own pit of despair they create. (Speaking from experience, I’m NC with my narc mother)
Parents and Emma were, indeed, assholes. This is out of discussion. On the other hand they probably aren’t bad people, sometimes ppl need someone to speak up to slowly open their eyes. I wouldn’t trust them monetarily, but im glad they’re realizing their mistakes (apparently). I really hope they are in their best intentions and truly trying to be better. Yeah, sometimes no contact is the only way out, but if there’s any chance of reconciliation with honest intentions and feelings, it’s always good to build up family bond, even if it is a slow process. Glad OP and his family are trying to be a family again.
Emma didnt know that he got a 15k charge she just belived the parents story and belived he ruined it
God to put your child in debt to upkeep the appearance of being financially sound.
Go straight to Retirement Home, do not pass GO, do not collect your sons credit card.
Guys did you know he learned to set boundaries? He set boundaries and healed and set boundaries and learned to set boundaries.
THOSE ARE THE WORST PARENTS EVER THEY SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS WORLD(i love your channel btw)
“Love shouldn’t come with a price tag.” Wow! What a deep line.
My future son-in-law had this happen to him by his mother, who also squandered all of the social security benefits he received from his deceased father.
He recently needed legal help & his mother offered to help. We later learned that ‘help’ came from a cash advance off of one of the cards she’d opened in his name.
Unbelievable.
I’m advising him to press charges for fraud & strip her of the unearned title of ‘mother’.
Why would they have access to your credit card to begin with for "emergencies"? Maybe it is just me but if family needed money under certain cirmstances they wouldnt have an ease of access to said money and would need me to manually send it to them via transfer.
What the hell are you thinking, dude? Cancel that. That cost so much money.
Not your place to pay for your sisters graduation gift! If your parents really wanted to give that to her then they should have saved that amount and done it!
It is not ok to put all those charges to max out your credit card for your sister. You mom and dad made me sick and your sister is just use to getting everything she wants when she wants. It’s sad that your parents think it’s ok for you to pay $15,000 for a graduation trip for your sister no way dude. Did they give you a$15,000 trip when you graduated?
Wow, this sounds like something straight out of a soap opera. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Just take it one day at a time and cut toxic people out of your life
They were never planning on paying it back. They were planning on doing it again.
Heard a similar story second hand. Apparently they were already on the trip after using this high school guy’s savings for college on a trip for the rest of the family. When the family returned their home was burned to the ground, cars were in the garage so also gone and high school boy had ghosted them completely.
They weren't going to pay him back, they already has two excuses set up
As for the author - he did overcomplicate. Yes it was right to cancel the transactions and return the money back. Then he had just to do what he dis in the end - close the card and open a new one so parents cannot use it.
Regarding his sister - she wasn’t guilty. It was the best example for her to see why exactly her parents were wrong - you cannot take other’s person’s money without consent. If you do - you may face consequences.
I am rude for this but the OP's father has no balls to provide this on his own and steal from his son
we didnt ask to be born giving your child a life food water clothes ETC is by law required and that doesn't in any way mean that you can use your kid as a doormat absolutely horrible parents
If you want to gift someone, buy it by YOUR OWN MONEY. Vacation is not emergency situation.
In a different situation, but similar feelings, years ago someone tried to shame me for "not being there" for a certain relative, saying something like, "She didn't have ANYONE, you know," in a tone of voice that sounded like she was trying to make it my fault. It hit like an arrow at first, but I was already in therapy at the time, and was able to recognize that she had made her own choices that caused her to be "alone." The fact that she "didn't have ANYONE" simply didn't belong to me. She made her own choices.
It's definitely okay to set boundaries, and to say no when necessary.
Most people that say this is okay have no value of money because they have more than likely not had a lot of it
What is this? The consequence of my very own action? Disgusting!
The phrase "what goes around comes around" is true? Unacceptable!
No one in my family shares credit information. And even if they had it, my parents would never do that to me! I'm glad OP's parents finally came to their senses.
The solution is straightforward: OP should consider placing a $15,000 charge on their own credit and telling their parents it's not a big deal, emphasizing it's for family. They could stress the importance of family support, suggesting that refusing would be selfish and could ruin OP's life. They can assure their parents they'll repay the money eventually.
10:41 you weren't being punished for something that wasn't your fault, the parents were trying to reward you with something that wasn't rightfully theirs to give, and OP simply revoked it. No punishment to be had here, just fairness.