I was once an employee who witnessed too many bully leaders and I said to myself when I become an employer I’ll create non-bully environment at work ......... and today I managed to do so 👍
When you’re truly respected, the team members don’t want to let you down. Mistakes will always happen but you can be confident that they will do their best, not just enough to get a pay cheque.
I’ve listened this ted talk over 10 times since I found it on Podcast. “Who you choose to be means everything. “ This sentence became my no. 1 rule for my life.
How we are treated and how others treat us, undermines trust or builds trust. Being respectfully empathetic with honour makes the impact, creates the dignified atmosphere, for building a high trust environment. A call to action for developing virtues, the quality of our character! Much gratitude Mz Porath.
I agree respect and civility are not just nice to show and have but they are critical. But it requires us to build up our mindfulness in every interaction but it's worth it. We can do it. Thanks Christine."Be tough on standards and tender to people"
Inspiring TED talk by Christine 👏👏. I experienced incivility in my last job. I worked so hard that I gave it all .......but the workplace was toxic , they didn't recognise my hard work . I didn't feel valued or respected, eventually I quit the job . Initially I thought to myself " did I do the right thing by quitting ?". Turned out that I did the right thing by quitting.........Within few weeks, I got a new job with a reputed company ............fast forward... 2 years later ...., I am still very valued and respected in my current workplace .........there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.
I spent the last 20+ years of my life living this as my personal truth. I was suffering at my last job, it was so hard but everyday I still was the first on there the last to leave, I was kind and loving to everyone. I worked so hard to help everyone and spread happiness and love and I thought I was fighting with love and kindness and love. I was let go without ever being written up or in any trouble at all based on rumors from a small amount of people who didnt like me or work directly with me at all. My hard work and love and kindness were never recognized at all, and my silence about my treatment just made it worse. Now I cant even find a job because my only job in the field is my only work experience. It is heartbreakingly true that being good to others in todays society just does nothing at all. My kindness is sitting here watching youtube instead of working.
I'm happy you shared your experience as that was mine as well. But i lost mine when my 12 year old needed a cardiac procedure and I had to take temporary leave to deal with that. When I returned from leave, I had been replaced by a woman who was related to management. In my years with that job I had worked extra for people who regularly called in, or always in some crisis. Didn't miss days. So I was shocked. I gathered my things and walked to my car, another employee walked me out and as I got in my vehicle he said, "It's not what you know but who you blow..".
I believe firmly that you will be recognized. I promise you’ll have your day in the sun, just so long as you do the next right thing for the next right reason. Don’t let the world steal your sweetness. Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle.
I am incredibly happy to know that there is already a legit proof that the quality often neglected and underestimated in the work place, business, corporate world or any industry is actually the most essential element for success. Outspoken and aggressive leadership will turn heads but being nice, respect and making people feel they're being understood will hit every individual homerun to their hearts and this will make them feel good and motivated to give their best. It's true that a true mark of an outstanding leader is that they will NEVER leave you with a feeling of their greatness but instead they will always leave you with the feeling of your greatness. One of the best Ted talk I've experienced!
Not sure what y'all's work environment is like, but everyone is very respectful to each other already at my job, and I interact with hundreds of people at work. The challenge for all of us is more learning the technical information, to perform better. There really doesn't seem to be a need to emphasize the social skills as much, since everyone seems to handle that ok.
This has to be one of the best most inspirational talks I've ever heard! This video should have much more than 38,000 views. It can only bring out the best in people!
Great video. This resonates with me. I have seen such uncivilized behaviour (blatant rudeness, the constant undermining, use of sarcasm in feedback) in the past. This especially happens when a individual is overwhelmed and can't handle stress so they feel the need to unload their frustration on others. Eventually I just got tired of becoming a carrier of all this toxic negativity and it was affecting my health and family.
This is one of the most timely, kind and thought provoking of any TED talk( and I e heard many(- thank you!! And every nurse I know will agree... bravo!
I used to have an aversion to mean people and only liked nice people. Now I see people as decent or non decent. I too have had difficult family members, bullying bosses and mean neighbors, but I have learned to seek God to show me how to have a kind heart, mind and mouth no matter how others act/speak. I have been trying to see people as ones who have gone through challenges and have not learned yet how to be kind. I have not always had the kindest of words, thoughts or actions either. Taking personal responsibility helps us in relation to others.
I need to share this with everyone- I wonder how students would change- even just by a little bit - If they were shown this video? Maybe that one girl will stop being negative. Maybe he'll stop underestimating me. This talk is powerful and makes you think- I should be civil. This is a great lesson for everyone to see.
Brilliant Woman! I can personally attest to the proposition that genuine Respect and Confidence brings out the absolute best in us. It's HUGE! Great Talk! Thanks!
Well said, however we have to admit when we do the same negligent behaviour towards other people and to care enough to fix it. Be ready, not everyone would be forgiving and in the same space on your journey to get to be better person.
Good commentary. Thank you. Unfortunately some people work and/or live in such bad environments for many many years and never complain. The stress, however, has it's impact physically and emotionally. Fortunately, family, friend, (s) church related support systems, and inner peace helps tremendously.
omg..i extremely had tears on my eyes, i'm into situation, where mean people are numbered @my work! so true, that's why my big boss acknowledgemnt me a lot coz, he understand what store in me, people insecurities manifest with themselves, they were so abnoxious if didn't give them response as they wanted to see me crying, i love myself, i go further work well in my job...ignoring there insensibility feed them much higher cost!
I loved your book, Mastering Civility, and now I love your Ted Talk. This is such interesting information that I share with my clients in all industries. Thank you.
This should be obvious, but somehow it's not 😢 unfortunately I cannot be an employer, so I have to fear for managers coming and going, hoping for a normal person. If I could, I would make incivility illegal.
I thoroughly enjoyed your presentation. it took nearly seconds for you to have my respect. After high school I took a job installing fences. I work for a small company that did mostly residential. Then I moved to another company that did a combination of commercial and residential. I wanted to work there because the installers we’re better. Faster. And well respected. I started running my own crew being the best I could be. Not knowing I was your threat to the other crew leaders! The owner of that company really cut down another company! The next day I was working for that company. The workers of that company. We’re not nearly as talented as what I had been working with, or the owners! This is a 1982. Let me reach back a few years to 1969 I became a professional drummer in a country band. My father was the front man. Singer. And one of the best MC’s And MC is similar to a radio DJ. My brother played still guitar. I was 10 my brother was 11 life was awesome all the free pop you could drink and they paid you $25-$35 a night I was a millionaire!!! Just kidding So when I ran my crew I ran it like a band! I treated every customer.worker. anyone I ran into . With respect !!! But nice guys do finish last! And the BEST!!!
. Are use the same respect you spoke of on everyone! I was with a company for 32 years around the most productive crew in the country no brag it was easy. I had so much fun airports. prisons, Day care centers. Just kidding the trucks record which 270 post in a single day I never left an open hole!I I was the teacher the safety man and therapist.very many xcon’s drug attic’s. Alcoholics.
Does this mean entertainment that relies on incivility for humor or drama decreases everyone's work performance? Would pushing politeness create a greate economy more than any influence of cash?
I had a protester at north eastern university who came one day to class and said you guys are in grad school, stop writing like high school kids. I did the natural thing, I quit
Manjadi Manusia Sukses Lahir Batin Dalam Setiap Kesempatan dan Situasi, mengerjakan sesuatu dengan sempurna dan terbaik, agar menjadi catatan amal ibadah dimata Malaikat dan Tuhan. Semoga menjadi manusia kreatif dan efektif supaya menjadi yang terbaik mengapai mimpi di puncak yang tertinggi, alfatihah, aamiin.
I have tried to treat others as I would like to be treated. Patience, kindness and respect. I wander why I have been walked over most my life. A lot of people are so inadequate and insecure in their own frames. I am rich and they are cursed. 🤔🖕🌹
Is this a tedtalk for sociopaths? Because it seems like only those people would need an explanation of why it's a good thing to be a decent, civil person.
Because I’ve worked around and have been subjected to uncivil, even bullying doctors( in my profession), this talk needs to be required in medical schools- kindness isn’t inherent in everyone, unfortunately...(my opinion after working in the medical arena a very long time)
Does someone's performance suffer when you tear up their work publicly and in front of their "co-workers"? Am I a sociopath? That is the question you should be asking yourself..
Treating people badly is not only bad for business but for society as a whole. It is also highly immoral according to all the religions I know. So why do so many companies support this kind of behaviour? You talk about some of the values that lead to poor leadership and their actions.
There were books in the 80s and 90s that taught bosses to foster an environment of instability. The idea was that it created competition and higher output. I had a boss that bought into it for a while. It never works in the end. Point is, sadly it was high taught and believed far to long.
True many companies support this kind of behaviour.....but sadly they do nothing to stop such behaviour, in fact if we get offended, they say that we have to laugh it off and take it as a joke.
In pach after olse demorte all after alybaliuse demite think the nort opinon to last or lederships so would so lords orgent truff find fand happent the almouse never gate aterding objactif option lenearlty who hess smart healthy wrong gate trudent smart with hive trudent cipablle the stay hive frue whay so would thay after graduite talking memory terding.
you are wearing blue and everything around you is with the same color which activates the middle chakra. Your voice is very clear but it hurts the ear as the person is concentrating on your lecture. The word you are using incivility is really odd, misbehaviour will be just enough. I'm sorry that your father was suffering.
I was once an employee who witnessed too many bully leaders and I said to myself when I become an employer I’ll create non-bully environment at work ......... and today I managed to do so 👍
That's the spirit
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAS. I APPLAUD YOU KIND FELLOW NOT NEGATIVE PERSON :D
Thank you
inspiring.. really thanks for this great way of thinking !
As a new Entrepreneur, seeing this is inspiring
Kindness and boundaries. Together they are powerful.
When you’re truly respected, the team members don’t want to let you down. Mistakes will always happen but you can be confident that they will do their best, not just enough to get a pay cheque.
I’ve listened this ted talk over 10 times since I found it on Podcast.
“Who you choose to be means everything. “
This sentence became my no. 1 rule for my life.
and also how you choose to be treated
Amen.
How we are treated and how others treat us, undermines trust or builds trust. Being respectfully empathetic with honour makes the impact, creates the dignified atmosphere, for building a high trust environment. A call to action for developing virtues, the quality of our character! Much gratitude Mz Porath.
I agree respect and civility are not just nice to show and have but they are critical. But it requires us to build up our mindfulness in every interaction but it's worth it. We can do it. Thanks Christine."Be tough on standards and tender to people"
Inspiring TED talk by Christine 👏👏. I experienced incivility in my last job. I worked so hard that I gave it all .......but the workplace was toxic , they didn't recognise my hard work . I didn't feel valued or respected, eventually I quit the job . Initially I thought to myself " did I do the right thing by quitting ?". Turned out that I did the right thing by quitting.........Within few weeks, I got a new job with a reputed company ............fast forward... 2 years later ...., I am still very valued and respected in my current workplace .........there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.
This is on my 'Watch this every Monday" list.
I spent the last 20+ years of my life living this as my personal truth. I was suffering at my last job, it was so hard but everyday I still was the first on there the last to leave, I was kind and loving to everyone. I worked so hard to help everyone and spread happiness and love and I thought I was fighting with love and kindness and love. I was let go without ever being written up or in any trouble at all based on rumors from a small amount of people who didnt like me or work directly with me at all. My hard work and love and kindness were never recognized at all, and my silence about my treatment just made it worse. Now I cant even find a job because my only job in the field is my only work experience. It is heartbreakingly true that being good to others in todays society just does nothing at all. My kindness is sitting here watching youtube instead of working.
You will get a very good job that you will love an enjoy fully, and that has an amazing work enviroment. ♡
I'm happy you shared your experience as that was mine as well. But i lost mine when my 12 year old needed a cardiac procedure and I had to take temporary leave to deal with that. When I returned from leave, I had been replaced by a woman who was related to management. In my years with that job I had worked extra for people who regularly called in, or always in some crisis. Didn't miss days. So I was shocked. I gathered my things and walked to my car, another employee walked me out and as I got in my vehicle he said, "It's not what you know but who you blow..".
I believe firmly that you will be recognized. I promise you’ll have your day in the sun, just so long as you do the next right thing for the next right reason. Don’t let the world steal your sweetness. Don’t ever let anyone dull your sparkle.
I’ve often felt/believed that I truly do not belong in this world. Danielle, you’re not alone.
Cinnamon Girl isn’t that wrongful termination?
I am incredibly happy to know that there is already a legit proof that the quality often neglected and underestimated in the work place, business, corporate world or any industry is actually the most essential element for success.
Outspoken and aggressive leadership will turn heads but being nice, respect and making people feel they're being understood will hit every individual homerun to their hearts and this will make them feel good and motivated to give their best.
It's true that a true mark of an outstanding leader is that they will NEVER leave you with a feeling of their greatness but instead they will always leave you with the feeling of your greatness.
One of the best Ted talk I've experienced!
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart".
Not sure what y'all's work environment is like, but everyone is very respectful to each other already at my job, and I interact with hundreds of people at work. The challenge for all of us is more learning the technical information, to perform better. There really doesn't seem to be a need to emphasize the social skills as much, since everyone seems to handle that ok.
Good question! Sometime they don’t finish at all💔
Yes. You are right!
This has to be one of the best most inspirational talks I've ever heard! This video should have much more than 38,000 views. It can only bring out the best in people!
YTBraN @I’m not surprised there are only 38,000 views it is not nice to be popular. I’ve struggled most of my life for being too nice.
Great video. This resonates with me. I have seen such uncivilized behaviour (blatant rudeness, the constant undermining, use of sarcasm in feedback) in the past. This especially happens when a individual is overwhelmed and can't handle stress so they feel the need to unload their frustration on others. Eventually I just got tired of becoming a carrier of all this toxic negativity and it was affecting my health and family.
This is one of the most timely, kind and thought provoking of any TED talk( and I e heard many(- thank you!! And every nurse I know will agree... bravo!
The data is there. It pays to treat each other with civility.
For me, most persuasive and game changing talk in Ted history... Awesome and God Bless You !!!
I used to have an aversion to mean people and only liked nice people. Now I see people as decent or non decent. I too have had difficult family members, bullying bosses and mean neighbors, but I have learned to seek God to show me how to have a kind heart, mind and mouth no matter how others act/speak. I have been trying to see people as ones who have gone through challenges and have not learned yet how to be kind. I have not always had the kindest of words, thoughts or actions either. Taking personal responsibility helps us in relation to others.
Great job Christine! This is such an important topic. Thank you for getting the message out.
Great talk. Listened to Ms. Porath on 10% Happier podcast with Dan Harris, too. This area is even more important is 2019 US.
I need to share this with everyone-
I wonder how students would change- even just by a little bit - If they were shown this video?
Maybe that one girl will stop being negative.
Maybe he'll stop underestimating me.
This talk is powerful and makes you think- I should be civil.
This is a great lesson for everyone to see.
Brilliant Woman! I can personally attest to the proposition that genuine Respect and Confidence brings out the absolute best in us. It's HUGE!
Great Talk! Thanks!
Well said, however we have to admit when we do the same negligent behaviour towards other people and to care enough to fix it. Be ready, not everyone would be forgiving and in the same space on your journey to get to be better person.
Beautiful Christine
Good commentary. Thank you. Unfortunately some people work and/or live in such bad environments for many many years and never complain. The stress, however, has it's impact physically and emotionally. Fortunately, family, friend, (s) church related support systems, and inner peace helps tremendously.
If only the current US administration would listen to this excellent TED talk!!
omg..i extremely had tears on my eyes, i'm into situation, where mean people are numbered @my work! so true, that's why my big boss acknowledgemnt me a lot coz, he understand what store in me, people insecurities manifest with themselves, they were so abnoxious if didn't give them response as they wanted to see me crying, i love myself, i go further work well in my job...ignoring there insensibility feed them much higher cost!
I loved your book, Mastering Civility, and now I love your Ted Talk. This is such interesting information that I share with my clients in all industries. Thank you.
Good for you😊
I definitely will pick up this book to read for the New Year
Hi, Would u pls share copy of that book?
If we keep good attitude.
It benefits us and those around us.
Afterall civility pays .. very true !
What a sweet person.
i think you should always treat others how you want to be treated.
Wow we never thought about these kind of things but it really makes a lot of difference. Thank you so much for eye opening ted talk.
Just perfect! Thank you Christine...
One of the best Ted speakers 🙏🏼 and I searched this particular topic so I’m especially excited that she delivered 💖
I love this speech!
"Do unto others what you would want them to do to you" "Give and it will be given back to you in equal measure". "YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW".
“Give and people take advantage of you”
@@ohyesitsyouagain the difficult truth is, sometimes yes, sometimes no.
What a great lecture! Thank you!
A Fantastic Speech! Very useful, congratulations!
you are very true,i mean it happens every day, well its one of the best talks ever
Nice talk by a really nice professor
Thank you Christine Porath.. I really needed this, I'm truly a nice citizen and what I got from this video is meditation🥰🥰
Sensational talk !
Well thank you for sharing this video, it was just amazing🙏
This is great! Thanks, Christine, for sharing your knowledge and passion!
Very thought provoking talk!👏👍😊😇💪
Thank you I am dealing wih this issue at work I will smile more when they dont
I love her smoldering eyes
Thank you
Thank you miss you are the Best 😍😍
Whatever you face as an employee or whatever you do as an employer, it's all you luck and planets make you do so and face, all is luck.
incivility is a bug all right. and today it's all over the net. and probably overflowing in most of America.
True
I need to show this to my boss.
If incivility is different into each individual, what should I do to make sure that I don’t offend anyone?
Thank you!!! Lets be nice to each other.
I agree :D
@Maryanna Shvartsman Ovary... Sauna... sip thicc... e... resolute baby.... luv that... n?
Say that to incompotent bosses lol
This should be obvious, but somehow it's not 😢 unfortunately I cannot be an employer, so I have to fear for managers coming and going, hoping for a normal person. If I could, I would make incivility illegal.
I thoroughly enjoyed your presentation. it took nearly seconds for you to have my respect. After high school I took a job installing fences.
I work for a small company that did mostly residential. Then I moved to another company that did a combination of commercial and residential. I wanted to work there because the installers we’re better. Faster. And well respected.
I started running my own crew being the best I could be. Not knowing I was your threat to the other crew leaders!
The owner of that company really cut down another company! The next day I was working for that company. The workers of that company.
We’re not nearly as talented as what I had been working with, or the owners! This is a 1982.
Let me reach back a few years to 1969 I became a professional drummer in a country band. My father was the front man. Singer. And one of the best MC’s
And MC is similar to a radio DJ.
My brother played still guitar. I was 10 my brother was 11 life was awesome all the free pop you could drink and they paid you $25-$35 a night I was a millionaire!!! Just kidding
So when I ran my crew I ran it like a band!
I treated every customer.worker. anyone I ran into
. With respect !!! But nice guys do finish last! And the BEST!!!
. Are use the same respect you spoke of on everyone!
I was with a company for 32 years around the most productive crew in the country no brag it was easy. I had so much fun airports. prisons, Day care centers. Just kidding the trucks record which 270 post in a single day I never left an open hole!I I was the teacher the safety man and therapist.very many xcon’s drug attic’s. Alcoholics.
Does this mean entertainment that relies on incivility for humor or drama decreases everyone's work performance?
Would pushing politeness create a greate economy more than any influence of cash?
Thank you very much🤗, I needed this 👏👏. Some of us do care❤. Thanks a lot really love your video.
Incivility has such a huge cost 🤦🏽
dariaa moms type eye so good and witty maim
I had a protester at north eastern university who came one day to class and said you guys are in grad school, stop writing like high school kids. I did the natural thing, I quit
professor**
@@MyCognos did you quit the class or school?
Manjadi Manusia Sukses Lahir Batin Dalam Setiap Kesempatan dan Situasi, mengerjakan sesuatu dengan sempurna dan terbaik, agar menjadi catatan amal ibadah dimata Malaikat dan Tuhan. Semoga menjadi manusia kreatif dan efektif supaya menjadi yang terbaik mengapai mimpi di puncak yang tertinggi, alfatihah, aamiin.
You have to be a "nice guy, but watch it!"
In toxic environments, yes. Unfortunately. In normal environments you just be you (and civil).
Being nice does not mean being weak.
Amazing 😍
I have tried to treat others as I would like to be treated. Patience, kindness and respect.
I wander why I have been walked over most my life. A lot of people are so inadequate
and insecure in their own frames. I am rich and they are cursed. 🤔🖕🌹
Ask Dillinger
Is this a tedtalk for sociopaths? Because it seems like only those people would need an explanation of why it's a good thing to be a decent, civil person.
Because I’ve worked around and have been subjected to uncivil, even bullying doctors( in my profession), this talk needs to be required in medical schools- kindness isn’t inherent in everyone, unfortunately...(my opinion after working in the medical arena a very long time)
I’ve heard many doctors commit suicide due to bullying. To think I would have given anything to have become a physician in my youth!
...just to make sure we are right!
Does someone's performance suffer when you tear up their work publicly and in front of their "co-workers"? Am I a sociopath? That is the question you should be asking yourself..
Treating people badly is not only bad for business but for society as a whole. It is also highly immoral according to all the religions I know. So why do so many companies support this kind of behaviour? You talk about some of the values that lead to poor leadership and their actions.
There were books in the 80s and 90s that taught bosses to foster an environment of instability. The idea was that it created competition and higher output. I had a boss that bought into it for a while. It never works in the end. Point is, sadly it was high taught and believed far to long.
True many companies support this kind of behaviour.....but sadly they do nothing to stop such behaviour, in fact if we get offended, they say that we have to laugh it off and take it as a joke.
1242113113q2131q11q12345678
the camouflage in 1:09 lol:)
I want to be nice
Nice People Finish last
I mostly like in English speaking in a like may been created to allow I
This is "kindergarten" level common sense you do not need to go to school to gain this info like this woman.
Why didn't my drill Sgt watch this video???
👍
Jerks always get ahead. In our psychopathic society they have every advantage.
Tell me something about you Mr asking if may have been it
Pleased share your knowledge about it me know it asking may have been created it mean of let me know how many have
Look at that. Violent people finish first. Take a look a Jordan Peterson before becoming judgmental.
Violent people finish first. Take a look at Jordan Peterson before getting judgmental.
Everyone have been created it me share your reply it something people asking it
WAT?
In pach after olse demorte all after alybaliuse demite think the nort opinon to last or lederships so would so lords orgent truff find fand happent the almouse never gate aterding objactif option lenearlty who hess smart healthy wrong gate trudent smart with hive trudent cipablle the stay hive frue whay so would thay after graduite talking memory terding.
you are wearing blue and everything around you is with the same color which activates the middle chakra. Your voice is very clear but it hurts the ear as the person is concentrating on your lecture. The word you are using incivility is really odd, misbehaviour will be just enough. I'm sorry that your father was suffering.
Someone failed to play Gregory House
It's too bad Donald Trump would never watch this.
He wouldn’t be able to. He has the attention span of a fly.
👍