Yeah, I can't believe people are just brushing over that fact. If OP had been on a highway or anywhere with high speeds and lots of cars around, he could have died and the parents would've been to blame because they didn't check the car. Truly shows how their disappointment in OP's sex extended to the point in almost getting him killed.
Lots of boomer parents have favorites. At my 16tg bday I got a boom box” and at my party my brother got a 4wheeler delivered for him. I was told “it was the only day they could deliver it “ my bday was in September and his in March. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. My bro had learning disabilities and some physical disabilities too so he never had to do housework nor even making his own bed he was capable with only a motor tremor to limit him. Then he was hit by a pick up on 4wheeler and got a TBI. After that he abused me broke my things and I was forced to care for him. It was hell and I still dislike him
such parents are usually cluster-B disasters (or worse) and the Golden Child/Scapegoat/Forgotten Child dynamic is a key component of families with Narcissistic/Enabler Parents (or both Narcissistic).
I totally have a favourite child and she knows it. To be fair she's an only child. It's the only time it's ok to have a clear favourite. If we ever had another (not likely we are done) you can bet your a I'd not have a favourite.
Wow, grandma must be a ninja, because she always seems to be coming into the room just as the parents were being assholes to OP! What great timing she has!
When you suspect that someone isn't a good person, you typically become hyper-vigilante of everything they do. The lack of effort made for OP's party probably got the grandma's guard up that day, and she probably wanted to stay close to her grandchild to provide moral support in case he needed it.
His family suspected this for a long time. The 18th birthday party and lack of a car just proved it. The speed with which everyone, especially the grandparents, reacted means they were ready to take care of OP’s parents the moment they neglected him too much.
Challenge to parents: ask a good friend, who tells you the truth: do you think I have a favourite child? The answer may shock you. I know several couples where it is sooo blatantly obvious who is the favourite, but if you asked them, they'd deny it.
🤔 My girlfriend slept with her friend.. and than he told me… I don’t know what to do with this information… What do you think? ua-cam.com/video/UT1ep-nPtew/v-deo.html
I wonder in how many cases the parent is aware of it but denies out of principle, and how many genuinely didn't notice. It doesn't _truly_ matter beyond simple curiosity, but y'know.
@@kentario1610 If it's an unconscious thing and they move to correct it when it's pointed out, fair enough, because the brain likes to filter things it doesn't like.
I have four kids. The first two were boys and the third one was a girl. When my wife was pregnant the forth time, we were hoping for another girl. We got a third boy instead. We love him as much as the other three, and would never ever treat him like a disappointment or show any favoritism towards the other kids. OP's parents are horrible people.
My sister always wanted a girl but had three boys. They are all adored and loved with every fibre of her being. She was always a little sad she never had a girl but never put that on the boys and treats them all the same. The boys are all grown men now who worship their mom and would do anything for her.
Some personality disorders make people prone to having a golden child and a scapegoat child. They can’t actually love, or have real empathy for either, as people. They only see one as an extension of their best selves, the other takes all the blame and abuse. Narcissists don’t have the ability, it isn’t that they choose to be monsters. It’s both genetic, and environmental.
I don't understand why people don't adopt too? Like if you want a girl so bad, just adopt a girl? Also to treat your child so badly over something as fickle as their gender is awful and stupid- Like maybe they'll grow up and won't identity with their birth gender anymore, you just don't know what the future holds. But don't say you're a "good parent" if you are so keen on enforcing stereotypes on children. There's nothing wrong with wishing or preferring to have a certain gender, but don't put all your hopes on it and sink the boat just because it wasn’t in the cards for you. Kids aren't dolls or toys, let them be ffs.
I've heard this one before and the parents are utter trash of human beings. To hate one child just because of their gender. The don't deserve to be called parents.
😧 I hope, you’ll like it) I moved out because I didn’t want to help my bf out with the rent… but than… ua-cam.com/video/m0Ed5N5tZzc/v-deo.html update is here
What’s weird is that the parents are disappointed because OP is male. Usually when parents are disappointed in the gender of their child, it’s because they wanted a boy and got a girl.
I was literally in tears by the end of the story. How can a parent do this to their own kid? OP has grown up to be a gem of a person who is extremely respectful of the things he has received in his life. I genuinely hope he does well in his life and continues to be the good person that he is.
My heart broke for OP, and then that second comment calling him an asshole, and victim blaming him, that's where I absolutely lost it. Imagine being treated like that by your own parents, and having someone tell you that your abusive parents are right. That is absolutely despicable and disgusting. Some people on the internet are just plain heartless.
These kind of people sound like they are emotionally stunted. They don’t sound like fully formed adults emotionally. They “assumed op would be a girl” when there is a 50/50 chance? That is idiotic.
He grew up with such a burning desire to earn their appreciation by being his best. Now he has learned it was and never will be good enough. The parents looked defeated because the rest of the family has reiterated to them multiple times now that they are huge pieces of shite and yet still hold to their disappointment. The defeatism is they have given up and accepted no one will take their side.
I remember this story. What failures of parents. It’s karma that they lose both of their children and love of their extended family. Let them be alone with only each as company.
That one YTA commenter MIGHT have had a leg to stand on with the car and the DJ being more expensive but come on I doubt that the parents are that broke to where they can’t even afford a cake mix to whip up really quickly for OP. Them just buying a random sheet cake really shows that they didn’t put much effort. Also if they really couldn’t afford a car wouldn’t telling OP make more sense then not??
I was wondering if someone was going to mention that comment. I cannot stand victim blaming. Imagine being abused by your parents, and having someone tell you that your abusers are right, and that you are wrong.
that guy is such an idiot though, he pretty much read through all of the lines and made an assumption without thinking it through. and saying op is the a hole for just asking a reasonable question is so stupid. the outcome of that situation was entirely out of op’s hands, he wasn’t the one that outed his parents, his grandparents decided to do that on their own.
@@tiffanygray, I personally would like to see the look on that commenter’s face knowing that car was faulty and could’ve killed OP. Then I would’ve been an ass and rubbed their comment in. You don’t fuck with a car’s functionality. One wrong thing with it can end your life on a high speed highway or even on a neighborhood street. Edit: appreciate the likes I’ve gained so far, wasn’t expecting it! I’m honestly pretty strident on issues like this because of a less than desirable history with car issues(tons of driving anxiety and just some really piss poor luck), including 2 accidents that could’ve been life ending and ended up wrecking my old Subaru Outback, so knowingly buying a car with issues like that is irresponsible and dangerous, especially if it’s “just to teach a lesson” and something I will happily join in to chew those parents out for. But then again you shouldn’t have to have my kind of history to know how bad it is.
The fact that they COULD buy a car and clearly didn’t want to or bother speaks absolute volumes. Also that they genuinely thought (or deluded themselves to believing) that OP didn’t do as much and therefore didn’t deserve. I’m so glad that OP’s family was defending them and I was so satisfied reading this.
What some ahole's ignore is that being treated fairly IS a right. Parents who do not treat their children fairly DO NOT have the right to have their abuse hidden, or to not be called out for it.
Yeah the parents suck, atleast the favorite child not entitled spoiled brat and even apologize to OP. Can't imagine what would the parents do when they hear their favorite boy would not come back home, LOL.
golden child attitudes don't get a person far in college and he already heard the family tore the parents a new one for it he may be a decent person or he may just want to avoid getting just short of excommunicated from the family by keeping a shitty attitude
IMO the jury is still out on the brother if he isn't an entitled spoiled brat he is self absorbed at best. I grew up in an abusive environment with a few narcissists and believe me the favoritism it's easy to see. These usually goes 2 ways or you get closer or the golden child distance themselves. His brother apparently ignored his existence in their teenage years until the grandparents most likely lectured him about what happened. So he is either a self-centered obviously dude and he's really sorry or deep down he doesn't give a fuck about his brother but wants to avoid the backlash from the family so he is playing it smart 🤷♀️ Either way I hope OP goes NC with his parents and lives his best life, he seems to be a good kid.
Well based on the beginning OPs story, it does sound like the favorite child was acting like a spoiled brat to OP when he got the car and probably other times too. But it's great that as he realized it now and is starting to change. Though I think the damage was done as OP even implied they aren't close and can barely hold a conversation. Hopefully they get better.
The grandparents are way better parents than OP's "mother and father". Hearing these stories about parental favoritism always makes my blood boil. They were disappointed that OP wasn't born a girl?! BULLSHIT! My mother, despite wanting a son for her third child, had all girls and she treats us all equally and full of love (I'm sorry I'm gushing, I'm kinda a momma's girl lol). You can't pick your parents. But my god, OP deserves better... The grandparents rock! They are absolute SAINTS!!! And I'm happy to hear not just them but the rest of the family calling out the parents.
Wonder how many of those 'life is unfair, deal with it' DM's the OP got were from people who are a golden child themselves - even unknowingly so 😕😕 I feel so sorry for OP, but I'm so glad he had such an amazing grandmother and extended family in his corner. I hope he always has that love ❤️
Yeesh. Hope the kid goes NC with his parents after this. I legit think they're dangerous. They'll blame him for every single thing that goes wrong in their lives now and I have no doubt they'll turn violent. Or take that anger out ten-fold on any children op has. The rest of the family knows they're pos's now and will support op if he chooses to just cut them out
😉 Something for you)) i expected that my son could share his room with his grandma… what happened after… ua-cam.com/video/2-iRP1ZWerA/v-deo.html update is here
Relax, we are all reading too much into it. The parents were just thinking of doing the absolute minimum. They just wanted to get it behind them as quickly as possible to go back to the norm. In their minds it breaking down was a big middle finger to everyone in the family for calling them out. They didn’t think that the family would double down and give them another arse chewing. It was probably only then did they come to the realization their behavior and negligence could have lead to the death of their own flesh and blood. That’s when they realized they messed up and just gave up.
Story 1: The OP isn't the a**hole, he just wanted to be treated equally for once. Love stories where the grandparents step up and set things straight. The parents are just pissed because their favouritism got found out and couldn't explain it away anymore. Based on how much the OP applied himself compared to his brother someone might be asking for help from the other one day and the OP can say "No. You got everything when we were growing up, now you know how it feels to get less.". If people want such specific qualities, gender or so on when it comes to their child they shouldn't have kids. When the OP got a 50% scholarship and their precious firstborn, their chosen one failed them, they had to come to terms with how their grand plan didn't work. I'm glad that the brother isn't an entitled d***.
I'm so glad OP had the grandparents in his corner. Without the car(s) he would have had so much trouble moving forward in life, and if not for them he probably would have been much more stuck and taken what he got from his parents' favoritism. They're the MVPs of the family for helping him through the toxic situation.
I grew up as "second favorite kid", my little sister being the "golden child". At 16, I was given a used (lightly) CB175 Honda motorcycle. The next year, Little Sis gets a brand spanking new 1976 Ford Pinto. I was taught to be a DIYer like Dad, so I did my own service/maintenance on the bike. Later in the Airforce I bought my first car from my barracks roommate in tech school. Since then I have done my own mechanicing whenever possible. I did learn to be more independent than my sister. My parents took me for granted, doing much of the home maintenance and repair. That stood me in good stead all through my life.
The first story hits home. My brother got a car when he was 16 and I didnt. Their excuse was that he took girls on dates and needed his own car and that a girl really had no need for a car. Even when I graduated from high school, then college, still, no car while they continued to maintain my brother's car/insurance. We aren't from a what I'd call a culture where girls are second class citizens. My mom and dad are both highly educated. Both me and my brother received college scholarships and my parents supplemented our schooling. I finally purchased my own car as an adult but I still feel cheated because a lot of my friends (girls) had their own cars in college or recieved a car for college graduation. For my college graduation, they gave me $300.
I don't get all the people who were saying OP should return the car. Like, from OPs perspective this is such a hit to their confidence. Aren't things like, "was I not worthy enough for them to get me a car? ", "did I do something wrong?, "why don't they love me? and only my brother?" these are questions that can put a person in a very bad state very quickly. While I'm glad OP had a support system in place, if they didn't have it, it would've pushed OP to a dark place. And OP would have been stuck at a place where they wouldn't have been able to get out.. to get out you need money.. for money you need to work.. for work, you need to commute and for commute you need transportation, which that car was for.. it's not like OP was a rich brat asking for a Bentley to show off to his friends... people really need to think twice before saying anything.. ffs
I have a brother that thought I was the favorite child since I got a TV one year for Christmas one year and a bed one year for my b-day. It wasn't until we got older that he realized that because I made straight A's both years and it was literally the only gift I got both years. Unlike him who got multiple gifts that equaled the same value as both gifts. Also, a year later I gave my parents the TV because I don't like having one in my bedroom while I sleep.
Saw this before. The parents are monsters. Not just for the blatant favouritism, but that stunt with the death-trap Subaru could have gotten OP killed! Depraved indifference. I'm so glad the grands & extended's are shaming the parents, that's what they deserve. I'm glad the favourite child isn't like them. Hope OP get get away from them soon.
I have a long standing argument with my father ever since I told him “I know you have a favorite child and it is not me.” My father brings it up every year to try to convince it all in my head. However, he also admits my oldest sibling got the most time, attention and money growing up. He paid a down payment on her townhouse and pays for her food when we eat out but doesn’t pay for any other of the five siblings. But he claims she needed to more than me. I don’t resent him anymore, but I will never agree with there is no favorite.
My respond, every he brought it up, would be "Stop lying. We all know you have a favorite, and we all know who it is. So just stop, because you're just making yourself look bad."
Spoiling a child only sets them up for failure and an inability to be self-sufficient in the future. Parents who pine over their children with such favoritism do so at that child's detriment.
@@demonqueen3886 I was the good kid. I never got in trouble, got good grades and even a doctorate, and listened to my parents. My oldest sister was and is always partying, never went to class, doing illegal activities, and cannot keep a job. No medical or mental health diagnosis for her; she just does whatever she wants. My fathers says he knew I would be fine even without time, attention, or the same financial support. When I point out I still needed time and attention as kid, he more or less shrugs and points out I have turned out really well.
Good story - and about as good an ending as one could hope for. Glad OP has extended family on his side - I know from personal experience that can help in large part to ameliorate the disappointing parents who deserve to be shunned.
So I found the post and read most of theYta and Esh comments and wow. He was not lying about the people who were projecting hard. Funny enough most of the really messed up ones I looked at their Post history just to see if any of them commented on the update not a single one did. Though there was a few people who came and said he's still spoiled but they got downvoted to hell.
The fact that OP’s entire family called out the parents immediately and with zero hesitation tells me they saw and knew about the favoritism, and perhaps had said some thing in the background, but the opening that OP gave them was just too perfect to pass up. Good on that family to protect OP to the best of their ability and campaign for his equal treatment. You can’t make someone love their child, but you can shame them into behaving at least someone correctly.
What was it to me, is the cake. Sure, not getting nice presents, car or a DJ can be excused by number of reasons if you don't know the full context. But if you can't bake a cake for one child, while you did it for the other, there either are some pretty obvious reasons, that OP wouldn't even have to question, or you are playing favourites.
The one comment saying that OP is an AH because they asked why they were being treated so differently from their brother is so...confusing. That's not being a petulant two year old. That is noticing an obvious difference between how two siblings are treated and wanting to know why that is the way it is. They have every right to ask why they are being treated differently despite putting in the same amount of work and effort. Regardless though while I can understand wanting a certain gender to a degree, it is not the child's fault and them mistreating them like that is just awful. Even worse is that they don't hate the OP but seem legitimately apathetic about him and only do the bare minimum. They truly just don't care about him
I wonder if he’ll come back with an update saying how those two worthless trash bags that should’ve took themselves out years ago, decided they finally love him, and beg for contact when OP has some kids. Doubt it. But it would be a satisfying end when OP tells them how their not even worthy of being called “grandparents”.
What scares me most about this story is that OP could have died or been seriously injured when his car blew up. But the parents didn’t care. They put their kid in a death trap and couldn’t give a crap. When most kids get their first car one of the first things most good parents will do is inspect the car to make sure it’s safe, they would never let their kid get in to anything unsafe. The fact that these parents didn’t care if their son lived or died would be enough for me to cut them off.
Story 1: You know the worse thing about parents that have children who they favor... while some of them expect said favorite child to take care of them in their golden years they have expectations of looking to the child they least to do it instead. Aside from that, I hope OP learns from this and starts making plans to get a job to save up and move at the first opportunity after he gets that car. Update to Story 1: Okay, I knew OP's parents were biased about their love for OP's brother but giving OP a faulty car as a token birthday gift was just too messed up. It's nice to know that OP's Grandparents had known about the parent's blatant favoritism and shut it down during the birthday party but after what happened with the car too. Plus I like how the Grandmother asked why OP's parents treated him like that which was just plain wrong. I also like how the Grandparents fixed the actions of OP's parents by doing a redo of OP's birthday party much to the parents' chagrin.
Or when they're Golden child goes downhill and the child that they neglected has a better life than they expected for The Golden child and think they have the right to try to fix the relationship with the child that they neglected
I am so angry at those hateful parents. All my life I wanted a daughter so badly. But we, too, knew we were stopping at two kids. Guess what? I have two sons. When I got the results of the u/s with my second, there may have been a few little tears of in-the-minute disappointment. But that was it. I love them both, so much. And although they are very different, I do my absolute best to treat them equally. That’s always been SO important to me. Those parents are horrible people and make my heart hurt for the OP. :(
My mother had no problem, when my sibs and I were growing up, that she got pregnant with my sister to get out of the house. She let my brother know he was an accident, and let them know that I was the child that was planned, and wanted. She always showed I was her favorite, and didn't care if no one liked it. I was not an entitled child however. I knew my mom was wrong, and I never tried to use that favoritism to my advantage. If you asked my sister, and brother they would say the same thing. However, we are all in our 50s, and they still blame me, and hate me. Yet, they have never blamed or confronted our mother about this. Well, because of how I was raised, I was bound and determined NOT to show favoritism to my children. I have always let them know that I love them equally, but also individually for their own achievements and personalities, i.e let my eldest son know how proud I was when he played soccer, and received a scholarship to college. Let my daughetr (sons twin sister) know how proud I was/am of her each time her art was exhibited in an art show, and for graduating with her Bachelors 2 years earlier than other kids her age (20). Let my youngest know how proud I am of him for his special talent in math and robotics, and for being skipped a grade (should be in 9th, but is in 10th). My kids are now 22, 22, and 14, and each of them will say, without hesitation, that I NEVER favored any one of them, and always showed just as much love for one, as the other. I did not want to due to my kids relationship with each other, what my mother did to mine. Sadly, to this day my mother hasn't changed. Mom an I had a disagreement in 2018, when I confronted her yet again that what she did to my siblings was wrong, and she is the reason why my sibs and I aren't close. She said, "Oh well, I was a young mother (17 when she had my sister, 19 when she had my brother, 26 when she had me), and I didn't know any better," then followed it up with, "They just need to get over it already." This infuriated me, and have since gone low contact with her.
It took my grandparents 5 boys to finally have my mom. Funny enough it was my grandfather who wanted the girl more. But they loved their kids equally and truly. This story is just wow.
That car could've gotten OP killed depending on how and where it bit the dust. How did they not consider that when they didn't bother to make sure it wasn't a screaming metal death trap?
"They are a disappointment to the human race, what the HELL.." Lol idk why but the way you said that made me laugh...but you're absolutely right. Screw those parents and I hope they live to feel regret once they see OP succeed above and beyond. Also good on OP's extended family for being an actually decent family that had his back!!! ❤️
The person who said he was the A-hole … why did the parents have to say it was because “brother worked harder?” If it was because they couldn’t afford it, they should apologize and say that.
People calling OP are the parents who have golden child. Who does that to a child. Like this is clear favouritism. I hope they go broke and have to come To OP so he can throw them on the garbage like they ignored him all his life.
I heard this one a while back and this is one of the more messed up stories of parental favoritism simply due to the fact that they seemed to have hoped that that death trap of a car would kill off their second son.
That YTA vote pissed me off. 1) if the parents were struggling financially, I'm pretty sure the family would have known; 2) even if they didn't know, I doubt favoritism would have been their first conclusion without a blatant history of it. 3) wow, so asking why your brother is treated better than you despite you doing just as much work as him means you're a petulant child. Either that commenter isn't a parent, or they're a terrible one.
Y'know the messed up part is that OP probably going to get married in the nearby future might have kids one of them or two of them might be girls his parents find out then they want to talk to OP apologize for what they did and mostly because they want to spend time with their granddaughter or granddaughter's😬
Reminds me of a family member who tries to construct a fantasy life and if you do or say anything that contradicts it they lose it. Sometimes the fairytale doesn't come true. Some people can't cope
Gotta love reddit writing fan fiction to make OP the bad guy. Oh the economy is bad? Yea, that is a great reason why son #1 gets a homemade cake and son #2 gets cheap crap from the supermarket. Nope, sorry, does not fly. Even if we grant that maybe they could not afford a car, any car, that is far from the only obvious tell that they have a child they like and a child they tolerate.
Also if they really couldn’t afford a car at that time wouldn’t telling OP make more sense than not saying anything?? OP is an adult I’m sure he would understand.
AH parents and good for OP that has extended family members that can stand up for him But...a forced gift isn't a gift. A forced hug isn't a hug. Personally I would not accept neither of that. His relatives won't be always around to control his parents. They don t want or care for him .Only thing left is to go NC
If the parents are narcissists (the most likely to have favorite/Golden child and Scapegoat/forgotten child dynamics), of course they won't change. They have no empathy, or a greatly reduced ability to have empathy. Older Son clearly was the Golden Child. This disordered thinking is extremely difficult to treat, if not impossible, because Narcissists either believe they are perfect, or spend so much time convincing themselves they are perfect, that they refuse to even entertain the possibility that they AREN'T.
You know what they say, "actions have consequences". I heard this story before, but even I was taken aback that the brother also wants to keep his distance from the parents, and he was the favored child. I guess this proves that you should never treat children like idiots, they can sense it when something is amiss, even if they cannot find the words to adequately describe it.
I remember this story! I read it with Reddit Brew. It's really sad that OP has been a disappointment for his parents. And all because of the fact that he failed to be born a girl. That's incredibly sad. (-_-;) I can kinda understand Gender Disappointment, but it really shouldn't matter what gender your baby is. And the family knows this and they're right for calling it out. Even the "Golden Boy" brother seems to be a decent person who sees how crappy his parents are. The true MVPS here are the grandparents, especially grandma who didn't tolerate the favoritism, AT ALL. And favoritism shouldn't be tolerated. All children deserve to be loved by their parents. And if you can't love their children regardless of gender, sexual orientation, their dreams, etc, then you shouldn't have had children.
I can see the "gender disappointment" when they're expecting and maybe the first few months or year. But 18 years of that crap? Of being half-assed support and doing the bare minimum to not be called abusers just because the kid is not the gender they were hoping for? Good gravy--why the hell didn't someone do something about this stupidity sooner? I mean--how could this resentment go on THIS long? OP's parents are immature, pouty idiots. Wonder how else they screwed things up because they "didn't get what they wanted".
@@tallyp.7643 That's exactly it I think the grandparents the aunts and the uncles all new that this has been going on since he was probably four or five and they wanted to put the parents in check but they didn't want isolate the other grandchild that his parents had from the rest of the family so they basically took the step off of approach and treated him as an equal when they were around other family members but the moment he became an adult was the moment they basically were like now's our time to go off on them. And I think they failed the original poster by not going off on them the moment this started happening you got to nip it in the budd before it gets worse. And the fact that they waited and then almost to some degree forced them to buy a second car for him and then threw him a party and force the parents to be there almost to some degree is making them even more angry and silence. They wanted to see them humiliated they wanted to see them basically soaking their anger and I'm really worried for his safety and the safety of the rest of the family members because these are people that really are prepared to take it to the next level and possibly do some serious damage to him and the grandparents because they are thinking we should have cut contact with these people the moment he was a child so that way the rest of the family didn't know.
Also, I think the grandparents and rest of the family pretended to tolerate it because if they showed their disappointment early the parents would've cut contact. I think this is a win for them, finally putting those people in place for even doing that for the last 18 years, mind you the slight gender disappointment is okay for awhile. But jeez, 17 years? That is sad
@@bryannaregalado9650 they had to they had no choice because I think if they showed the disdained when the original poster was like maybe six or seven I guarantee it they would have cut contact with both sides of the family with no contact and basically left town because they knew all the manically that if you go too far with the parents they will cut contact and they will not let the rest of the family hear it. Not to mention I think there thinking to themselves okay he's 18 we're going to speak our minds I just don't support people who wait until a child is an adult to speak the truth that you knew for years instead of just reporting them for emotional child abuse. And you know after all this the parents are basically saying we're done with these people we couldn't be ourselves and now instead of you basically waiting until they were young they waited and then forced the parents to sit there and watch as a part of their humiliation this is one of those situations where the parents are pretty much going to be more dangerous at this point
@@BIGEAGLEDUDE oof, if you put it like that, yeah it really sucks, in general it's such a sad situation for OP and the fact that gender is what negates the parent's happiness is what gets me.
You can just see the parents giving cat butt face through this entire story. Getting called out for favoring one child. Getting called out for making a half-assed attempt to fix the situation. 15 minutes of cat butt face. 🤔🤣🤣
I’m glad things worked out for you, OP. Your grandma rocks! It’s great that you have her love and support. Now go on to college and keep showing your parents how wrong they are about you.
I can understand being bummed when you want a specific gender child, and getting the opposite, but that doesn't justify not loving them or treating them poorly like this. Work through your feelings about that on your own, but don't take it out on your child! A person is not to blame for the plumbing they were born with.
this story just made me feel like OP was a mistake and the parents resent them for it and that resentment was picked up by the brother. and op never pressed their parents for a car. the grandparents and the rest of the family shamed them into it and called them out on their behaviour. it sounds like op lives in an area where there's no public transit so having a car to get to work/around makes sense. edit: knew it. good thing op has their grandmother and the rest of the family. and it looks like the parents are going to lose both kids because of their behaviour. good.
This story is really messed in every way cuz they neglected their 2nd born because he wasn't part of their family plan so they gave all the love and support to their first born and treated him as though he meant nothing heck ops 18th birthday was when everyone decided they had of enough of their behavior on top of all that they buy him a car that was never in good condition basically buying him a death trap out of spite and telling him it's karma for making them buy the car to begin with it's a good thing the whole family called them out on their foolish behavior cuz they came to the realization how badly they screwed up and that they could've seriously injured or killed their kid with the car they bought originally I hope op goes no contact with these people cuz how could they see themselves as good parents after all the stuff that went down
I think it would appear that I have a favorite child because I have more in common with my daughter. Because of that and knowing how that feels I make sure I got out my way to spend time with my son too. I may not understand all his hobbies but I genuinely show interested in it.
Grand mom just eavesdropping while o.P talk to parents about "hard work" and yes, parents show up who'd is favorite Son.. than both son... Same level 🎚️ Parents give "silent treatment" ..
What hideous parents OP has. I love his grandma. I'm glad he learned the truth, as difficult as it was, so he can get on with his life with a clear conscience. I also hope he can build a good relationship with his brother. None of what happened is the older brother's fault. It's all on those miserable excuses for parents.
Good afternoon lost genre I hope you have an amazing day enjoy!! Wow what a story those parents suck big time THANK GOD FOR YOUR GRANDPARENTS!!! THEY ROCK!!!! GOOD LUCK 💯 👍 💯 👍 💯 to you in college and DON'T GO BACK HOME TO THOSE TOXIC PARENTS thanks for sharing this story
Yo! A 20 y/o lexus? That's probably a second gen! My father was gifted a 93 Ls400 which is a first gen they're amazing cars. They're quick even without modifying, the cabin is extremely silent, easy to install a Bluetooth car play into, have the executive look they were designed to have, super comfortable, an interesting piece of automotive history literally millions spent on R&D (for the Ls400 which was the fist lexus model) to the point of making sure it matched the plants and environment of the US and Japan anesthetics wise, very affordable classics and at least for cars before 96 they don't need to go to emissions testing which is my favorite part! The 98 legacy would've been amazing if they didn't buy a lemon. I currently own my second 16 subaru legacy and I'd love to own a 99 legacy since that was the year I was born, but currently am looking to buy an 04 sti my car guy found for me. I feel bad for op but I had to go on a little rant about how amazing those cars are!
I have fond memories of the maroon/wine red gs300 my parents had when I was a kid. Nothing has matched that quality interior since and I can't tell if it's nostalgia or what.
@@UntamedDragon02 I think it's the car and the memories! The Ls400 is the first Lexus we've owned but I know what you mean about there being a feeling of almost nostalgia when you get in and drive it. I sit in the driver's seat and think about all the history and how it's held up till now and still runs, looks and feels great! In your case there's the added memories of family am sure!
Mom was taking it out on the wrong person. OP isn't the one that caused OP to be born male, that was dad. The same actually could be said if they had wanted 2 boys and OP was a daughter. The gender of the child is determined by the father, not the mother or the child.
The absolute truth LG is that I really love your videos. Your positive attitude helps my mental health greatly. It hasn't been all that great recently. So thank you for that.
My most fave/saddest part of this story An 18 year old kid is way more mature than the whiny judgemental a-hole of the adults from reddit, and he called them out on it, and he was ON POINT
I agree, LG for both opinions before and after update. they not nice people some of the commentors also OP was not being spoiled to expect some fair treatment, and was mature about it also now had he thrown a tantrum or something and acted like the parents did then that would be different but he didn't
that's some parents who will grow old and alone ! maybe the golden boy brother will eventually come back and take care of them (I hope not, they don't deserve even his help) but they can't expect OP to do shit for them when they'll need his help !
Irony is their 18 year old gender disapointment based favouritism has cost them both their sons and I don't get buying gender based stuff for babies before they are born as even the scans today can be wrong.
LIKE OP MOST OF MY LIFE I HAD TO "SIT ON THE SIDE LINE" +WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE CELEBRATE SPECIAL MOMENTS + IMPORTANT THINGS IN THEIR LIVES LIKE WEDDINGS,GRADUATIONS , HOLIDAYS ETC UNLIKE MY BROTHER.
People like this should never be parents. They really favored the older brother just because OP wasn't a female. They are human garbage that karma is going to have a good time kicking around once you and they're "favorite" child leaves them. Man I feel so sorry for OP but at least he does have family who actually cares about them and seems to have a great support system. He just needs to move out as soon as he can
my parents had thought maybe having a boy would be nice, they were happier just to have 2 healthy children that didn't get into any major health scares bar the common ones (small child nasty flu, chicken pox i caught from my sibling who they caught from someone in their class, stomach flu round 2, ect)
Let's just be real here his grandparents want to throw him the party just so they can rub it in his parents faces his parents basically didn't want to throw him a party and the answer uncles pressure them to do it. He's not in the wrong here glad he's got his car but be prepared they're not going to pay for his college and they're basically done with him and the rest of their family because they know that this has been going on for so long that took for the car situation and the birthday for them to basically put the parents in check at this point his parents are done with him and he's going no contact
🤔 I hope, you’ll like it) I moved out because I didn’t want to help my bf out with the rent… but than… ua-cam.com/video/m0Ed5N5tZzc/v-deo.html update is here
Part of me can understand wanting a gender of the second child to be one way and having it go another (happened to me, I blame the nurse who read the chart wrong though). But I came to embrace what I got and found what I was hope to still be there with my second. My wee girl rocks as she is such the princess with a battle axe. The prettiest little warrior in ribbons (even her war cry is cute). These parents failed in finding the gift they had with their second and looks like it will be their ruin as they will be losing both children as they leave the nest. They can now live with the ghosts of neverwas than live with what they have.
"You shamed us!" You shamed _yourselves._ Maybe don't play favorites and make it blatantly obvious which one is the favorite if you don't want to be shamed. The family: You shouldn't be playing favorites The parents: Okay Also the parents: _gives Op the silent treatment while blaming them for being shamed_ Edit: "It's possible they couldn't afford to get you a car and just didn't want to tell you" So their response was to tell Op that the brother was more deserving because he worked hard despite Op working just as hard? Wow, way to let Op down gently rather than tell it to him straight that they couldn't afford it /s Edit 2: "That's karma for making us get you the car in the first place 😌" The grandparents: So you have chosen death
"We never wanted a second son. We wanted a daughter. Here's a literal death trap of a car for your 18th birthday"
Yeah, I can't believe people are just brushing over that fact. If OP had been on a highway or anywhere with high speeds and lots of cars around, he could have died and the parents would've been to blame because they didn't check the car. Truly shows how their disappointment in OP's sex extended to the point in almost getting him killed.
these parents are so intensely fucked in the head. i have questions for people defending them cuz uhhh no.
People who have favourite children and make it blatantly obvious, and make the others feel horrible don't deserve their children
Lots of boomer parents have favorites. At my 16tg bday I got a boom box” and at my party my brother got a 4wheeler delivered for him. I was told “it was the only day they could deliver it “ my bday was in September and his in March. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. My bro had learning disabilities and some physical disabilities too so he never had to do housework nor even making his own bed he was capable with only a motor tremor to limit him. Then he was hit by a pick up on 4wheeler and got a TBI. After that he abused me broke my things and I was forced to care for him. It was hell and I still dislike him
@@amberleeannalee1999 did you end up getting away from them
They sure don't. And they shouldn't be surprised if the other children decide to cut ties with them.
such parents are usually cluster-B disasters (or worse) and the Golden Child/Scapegoat/Forgotten Child dynamic is a key component of families with Narcissistic/Enabler Parents (or both Narcissistic).
I totally have a favourite child and she knows it. To be fair she's an only child. It's the only time it's ok to have a clear favourite.
If we ever had another (not likely we are done) you can bet your a I'd not have a favourite.
Wow, grandma must be a ninja, because she always seems to be coming into the room just as the parents were being assholes to OP! What great timing she has!
When you suspect that someone isn't a good person, you typically become hyper-vigilante of everything they do. The lack of effort made for OP's party probably got the grandma's guard up that day, and she probably wanted to stay close to her grandchild to provide moral support in case he needed it.
she had a hunch and played on it is what happened.
well
grandpa was called for one of the times
makes sense grandma was there too
“Grinja”=Granny-ninja 😂
@@mgen278 or "Gran-ninja" 😂
His family suspected this for a long time. The 18th birthday party and lack of a car just proved it. The speed with which everyone, especially the grandparents, reacted means they were ready to take care of OP’s parents the moment they neglected him too much.
Challenge to parents: ask a good friend, who tells you the truth: do you think I have a favourite child? The answer may shock you. I know several couples where it is sooo blatantly obvious who is the favourite, but if you asked them, they'd deny it.
🤔 My girlfriend slept with her friend.. and than he told me… I don’t know what to do with this information… What do you think? ua-cam.com/video/UT1ep-nPtew/v-deo.html
That was my parents and they completely denied it too.
I wonder in how many cases the parent is aware of it but denies out of principle, and how many genuinely didn't notice. It doesn't _truly_ matter beyond simple curiosity, but y'know.
@@kentario1610 If it's an unconscious thing and they move to correct it when it's pointed out, fair enough, because the brain likes to filter things it doesn't like.
My entire family knew my mom favors my sister. Ask her and she'll be extremely offended lol
I have four kids. The first two were boys and the third one was a girl. When my wife was pregnant the forth time, we were hoping for another girl. We got a third boy instead. We love him as much as the other three, and would never ever treat him like a disappointment or show any favoritism towards the other kids. OP's parents are horrible people.
My parents wanted a girl, got all boys. They never acted like this towards any of us and I don't understand why birthgivers ever would.
My sister always wanted a girl but had three boys. They are all adored and loved with every fibre of her being. She was always a little sad she never had a girl but never put that on the boys and treats them all the same. The boys are all grown men now who worship their mom and would do anything for her.
Some personality disorders make people prone to having a golden child and a scapegoat child. They can’t actually love, or have real empathy for either, as people. They only see one as an extension of their best selves, the other takes all the blame and abuse. Narcissists don’t have the ability, it isn’t that they choose to be monsters. It’s both genetic, and environmental.
I don't understand why people don't adopt too? Like if you want a girl so bad, just adopt a girl? Also to treat your child so badly over something as fickle as their gender is awful and stupid- Like maybe they'll grow up and won't identity with their birth gender anymore, you just don't know what the future holds. But don't say you're a "good parent" if you are so keen on enforcing stereotypes on children. There's nothing wrong with wishing or preferring to have a certain gender, but don't put all your hopes on it and sink the boat just because it wasn’t in the cards for you. Kids aren't dolls or toys, let them be ffs.
I've heard this one before and the parents are utter trash of human beings. To hate one child just because of their gender. The don't deserve to be called parents.
😧 I hope, you’ll like it) I moved out because I didn’t want to help my bf out with the rent… but than… ua-cam.com/video/m0Ed5N5tZzc/v-deo.html update is here
Me too. I actually read it on Reddit Brew.
What’s weird is that the parents are disappointed because OP is male. Usually when parents are disappointed in the gender of their child, it’s because they wanted a boy and got a girl.
So, his parents basically bought him a death trap out of spite?
Pretty much
well now they are all alone since both sons are not coming back into their lives
I was literally in tears by the end of the story. How can a parent do this to their own kid? OP has grown up to be a gem of a person who is extremely respectful of the things he has received in his life. I genuinely hope he does well in his life and continues to be the good person that he is.
My heart broke for OP, and then that second comment calling him an asshole, and victim blaming him, that's where I absolutely lost it. Imagine being treated like that by your own parents, and having someone tell you that your abusive parents are right. That is absolutely despicable and disgusting. Some people on the internet are just plain heartless.
These kind of people sound like they are emotionally stunted. They don’t sound like fully formed adults emotionally. They “assumed op would be a girl” when there is a 50/50 chance? That is idiotic.
He grew up with such a burning desire to earn their appreciation by being his best. Now he has learned it was and never will be good enough. The parents looked defeated because the rest of the family has reiterated to them multiple times now that they are huge pieces of shite and yet still hold to their disappointment. The defeatism is they have given up and accepted no one will take their side.
Too many on Reddit are just projecting and don't even grasp that.
@@tiffanygray That coment reeks in golden child syndrome or someone who is jealous of his more successful sibling who cut contact with the family.
I remember this story.
What failures of parents. It’s karma that they lose both of their children and love of their extended family.
Let them be alone with only each as company.
Yup. In a couple of years or so, they'll be wondering why both children limited contact with them once OP is away from them.
@@spheres0082 or even better why op doesn’t let them meet their granddaughter
@@brokenmask333 like " op what did we do soooo bad that we can't meet our grandkid " " oh wait it's a boy were so disappointed "..
@spheres0082 it's gonna really hit them when they start to have grandchildren.
That one YTA commenter MIGHT have had a leg to stand on with the car and the DJ being more expensive but come on I doubt that the parents are that broke to where they can’t even afford a cake mix to whip up really quickly for OP. Them just buying a random sheet cake really shows that they didn’t put much effort. Also if they really couldn’t afford a car wouldn’t telling OP make more sense then not??
I was wondering if someone was going to mention that comment. I cannot stand victim blaming. Imagine being abused by your parents, and having someone tell you that your abusers are right, and that you are wrong.
that guy is such an idiot though, he pretty much read through all of the lines and made an assumption without thinking it through. and saying op is the a hole for just asking a reasonable question is so stupid. the outcome of that situation was entirely out of op’s hands, he wasn’t the one that outed his parents, his grandparents decided to do that on their own.
@@tiffanygray, I personally would like to see the look on that commenter’s face knowing that car was faulty and could’ve killed OP. Then I would’ve been an ass and rubbed their comment in.
You don’t fuck with a car’s functionality. One wrong thing with it can end your life on a high speed highway or even on a neighborhood street.
Edit: appreciate the likes I’ve gained so far, wasn’t expecting it! I’m honestly pretty strident on issues like this because of a less than desirable history with car issues(tons of driving anxiety and just some really piss poor luck), including 2 accidents that could’ve been life ending and ended up wrecking my old Subaru Outback, so knowingly buying a car with issues like that is irresponsible and dangerous, especially if it’s “just to teach a lesson” and something I will happily join in to chew those parents out for. But then again you shouldn’t have to have my kind of history to know how bad it is.
The right move with the car was to say nothing, wait 40 years and then put them in the worst nursing home you can find.
@Tiffanie OMG!!! That’s awesome!!!😹
@Tiffanie I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT 😂
OPs comment "I'm a guy like my brother so it's not a gender thing"
after update
this didn't age well
The fact that they COULD buy a car and clearly didn’t want to or bother speaks absolute volumes. Also that they genuinely thought (or deluded themselves to believing) that OP didn’t do as much and therefore didn’t deserve. I’m so glad that OP’s family was defending them and I was so satisfied reading this.
What some ahole's ignore is that being treated fairly IS a right. Parents who do not treat their children fairly DO NOT have the right to have their abuse hidden, or to not be called out for it.
Yeah the parents suck, atleast the favorite child not entitled spoiled brat and even apologize to OP. Can't imagine what would the parents do when they hear their favorite boy would not come back home, LOL.
Probably try to blame op for it lol
golden child attitudes don't get a person far in college and he already heard the family tore the parents a new one for it
he may be a decent person or he may just want to avoid getting just short of excommunicated from the family by keeping a shitty attitude
IMO the jury is still out on the brother if he isn't an entitled spoiled brat he is self absorbed at best. I grew up in an abusive environment with a few narcissists and believe me the favoritism it's easy to see. These usually goes 2 ways or you get closer or the golden child distance themselves. His brother apparently ignored his existence in their teenage years until the grandparents most likely lectured him about what happened. So he is either a self-centered obviously dude and he's really sorry or deep down he doesn't give a fuck about his brother but wants to avoid the backlash from the family so he is playing it smart 🤷♀️ Either way I hope OP goes NC with his parents and lives his best life, he seems to be a good kid.
Well based on the beginning OPs story, it does sound like the favorite child was acting like a spoiled brat to OP when he got the car and probably other times too. But it's great that as he realized it now and is starting to change. Though I think the damage was done as OP even implied they aren't close and can barely hold a conversation. Hopefully they get better.
The grandparents are way better parents than OP's "mother and father". Hearing these stories about parental favoritism always makes my blood boil. They were disappointed that OP wasn't born a girl?! BULLSHIT! My mother, despite wanting a son for her third child, had all girls and she treats us all equally and full of love (I'm sorry I'm gushing, I'm kinda a momma's girl lol).
You can't pick your parents. But my god, OP deserves better... The grandparents rock! They are absolute SAINTS!!! And I'm happy to hear not just them but the rest of the family calling out the parents.
These people sound delusional. Seriously. Who resents their children like that?
@@stephanien6237 unfortunately a lot of people.
Wonder how many of those 'life is unfair, deal with it' DM's the OP got were from people who are a golden child themselves - even unknowingly so 😕😕 I feel so sorry for OP, but I'm so glad he had such an amazing grandmother and extended family in his corner. I hope he always has that love ❤️
Yeesh. Hope the kid goes NC with his parents after this. I legit think they're dangerous. They'll blame him for every single thing that goes wrong in their lives now and I have no doubt they'll turn violent. Or take that anger out ten-fold on any children op has.
The rest of the family knows they're pos's now and will support op if he chooses to just cut them out
😉 Something for you)) i expected that my son could share his room with his grandma… what happened after… ua-cam.com/video/2-iRP1ZWerA/v-deo.html update is here
I think the parents knew and were hoping the car would take out the unwanted son. Maybe I've spent too much time on the internet
Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me. They seem to just despise OP.
That's honestly terrifying that they were probably willing to wait until an accident happened to OP and all because he wasn't born a girl
Relax, we are all reading too much into it. The parents were just thinking of doing the absolute minimum. They just wanted to get it behind them as quickly as possible to go back to the norm. In their minds it breaking down was a big middle finger to everyone in the family for calling them out. They didn’t think that the family would double down and give them another arse chewing. It was probably only then did they come to the realization their behavior and negligence could have lead to the death of their own flesh and blood. That’s when they realized they messed up and just gave up.
Story 1: The OP isn't the a**hole, he just wanted to be treated equally for once. Love stories where the grandparents step up and set things straight. The parents are just pissed because their favouritism got found out and couldn't explain it away anymore. Based on how much the OP applied himself compared to his brother someone might be asking for help from the other one day and the OP can say "No. You got everything when we were growing up, now you know how it feels to get less.". If people want such specific qualities, gender or so on when it comes to their child they shouldn't have kids. When the OP got a 50% scholarship and their precious firstborn, their chosen one failed them, they had to come to terms with how their grand plan didn't work. I'm glad that the brother isn't an entitled d***.
I'm so glad OP had the grandparents in his corner. Without the car(s) he would have had so much trouble moving forward in life, and if not for them he probably would have been much more stuck and taken what he got from his parents' favoritism. They're the MVPs of the family for helping him through the toxic situation.
I grew up as "second favorite kid", my little sister being the "golden child". At 16, I was given a used (lightly) CB175 Honda motorcycle. The next year, Little Sis gets a brand spanking new 1976 Ford Pinto. I was taught to be a DIYer like Dad, so I did my own service/maintenance on the bike. Later in the Airforce I bought my first car from my barracks roommate in tech school. Since then I have done my own mechanicing whenever possible. I did learn to be more independent than my sister. My parents took me for granted, doing much of the home maintenance and repair. That stood me in good stead all through my life.
The first story hits home. My brother got a car when he was 16 and I didnt. Their excuse was that he took girls on dates and needed his own car and that a girl really had no need for a car. Even when I graduated from high school, then college, still, no car while they continued to maintain my brother's car/insurance. We aren't from a what I'd call a culture where girls are second class citizens. My mom and dad are both highly educated. Both me and my brother received college scholarships and my parents supplemented our schooling. I finally purchased my own car as an adult but I still feel cheated because a lot of my friends (girls) had their own cars in college or recieved a car for college graduation. For my college graduation, they gave me $300.
I don't get all the people who were saying OP should return the car. Like, from OPs perspective this is such a hit to their confidence. Aren't things like, "was I not worthy enough for them to get me a car? ", "did I do something wrong?, "why don't they love me? and only my brother?" these are questions that can put a person in a very bad state very quickly. While I'm glad OP had a support system in place, if they didn't have it, it would've pushed OP to a dark place. And OP would have been stuck at a place where they wouldn't have been able to get out.. to get out you need money.. for money you need to work.. for work, you need to commute and for commute you need transportation, which that car was for.. it's not like OP was a rich brat asking for a Bentley to show off to his friends... people really need to think twice before saying anything.. ffs
I have a brother that thought I was the favorite child since I got a TV one year for Christmas one year and a bed one year for my b-day. It wasn't until we got older that he realized that because I made straight A's both years and it was literally the only gift I got both years. Unlike him who got multiple gifts that equaled the same value as both gifts. Also, a year later I gave my parents the TV because I don't like having one in my bedroom while I sleep.
Saw this before. The parents are monsters. Not just for the blatant favouritism, but that stunt with the death-trap Subaru could have gotten OP killed! Depraved indifference. I'm so glad the grands & extended's are shaming the parents, that's what they deserve. I'm glad the favourite child isn't like them. Hope OP get get away from them soon.
I have a long standing argument with my father ever since I told him “I know you have a favorite child and it is not me.” My father brings it up every year to try to convince it all in my head. However, he also admits my oldest sibling got the most time, attention and money growing up. He paid a down payment on her townhouse and pays for her food when we eat out but doesn’t pay for any other of the five siblings. But he claims she needed to more than me. I don’t resent him anymore, but I will never agree with there is no favorite.
If he's gonna keep gaslighting you, that resentment should grow. Cut his ass off completely. You don't need him anymore.
My respond, every he brought it up, would be "Stop lying. We all know you have a favorite, and we all know who it is. So just stop, because you're just making yourself look bad."
Was there ever like a reason why he thought she needed more than you? Did you have some problems or something
Spoiling a child only sets them up for failure and an inability to be self-sufficient in the future. Parents who pine over their children with such favoritism do so at that child's detriment.
@@demonqueen3886 I was the good kid. I never got in trouble, got good grades and even a doctorate, and listened to my parents. My oldest sister was and is always partying, never went to class, doing illegal activities, and cannot keep a job. No medical or mental health diagnosis for her; she just does whatever she wants. My fathers says he knew I would be fine even without time, attention, or the same financial support. When I point out I still needed time and attention as kid, he more or less shrugs and points out I have turned out really well.
Good story - and about as good an ending as one could hope for. Glad OP has extended family on his side - I know from personal experience that can help in large part to ameliorate the disappointing parents who deserve to be shunned.
So I found the post and read most of theYta and Esh comments and wow. He was not lying about the people who were projecting hard. Funny enough most of the really messed up ones I looked at their Post history just to see if any of them commented on the update not a single one did. Though there was a few people who came and said he's still spoiled but they got downvoted to hell.
The fact that OP’s entire family called out the parents immediately and with zero hesitation tells me they saw and knew about the favoritism, and perhaps had said some thing in the background, but the opening that OP gave them was just too perfect to pass up. Good on that family to protect OP to the best of their ability and campaign for his equal treatment. You can’t make someone love their child, but you can shame them into behaving at least someone correctly.
People with only enough love for one child, shouldn't have any.
What was it to me, is the cake. Sure, not getting nice presents, car or a DJ can be excused by number of reasons if you don't know the full context. But if you can't bake a cake for one child, while you did it for the other, there either are some pretty obvious reasons, that OP wouldn't even have to question, or you are playing favourites.
The one comment saying that OP is an AH because they asked why they were being treated so differently from their brother is so...confusing. That's not being a petulant two year old. That is noticing an obvious difference between how two siblings are treated and wanting to know why that is the way it is. They have every right to ask why they are being treated differently despite putting in the same amount of work and effort.
Regardless though while I can understand wanting a certain gender to a degree, it is not the child's fault and them mistreating them like that is just awful. Even worse is that they don't hate the OP but seem legitimately apathetic about him and only do the bare minimum. They truly just don't care about him
I wonder if he’ll come back with an update saying how those two worthless trash bags that should’ve took themselves out years ago, decided they finally love him, and beg for contact when OP has some kids. Doubt it. But it would be a satisfying end when OP tells them how their not even worthy of being called “grandparents”.
Tbh part of me believes this will happen once golden child cuts them off and doesn't come back since then they'll be all alone
What scares me most about this story is that OP could have died or been seriously injured when his car blew up. But the parents didn’t care. They put their kid in a death trap and couldn’t give a crap. When most kids get their first car one of the first things most good parents will do is inspect the car to make sure it’s safe, they would never let their kid get in to anything unsafe. The fact that these parents didn’t care if their son lived or died would be enough for me to cut them off.
Story 1: You know the worse thing about parents that have children who they favor... while some of them expect said favorite child to take care of them in their golden years they have expectations of looking to the child they least to do it instead.
Aside from that, I hope OP learns from this and starts making plans to get a job to save up and move at the first opportunity after he gets that car.
Update to Story 1: Okay, I knew OP's parents were biased about their love for OP's brother but giving OP a faulty car as a token birthday gift was just too messed up.
It's nice to know that OP's Grandparents had known about the parent's blatant favoritism and shut it down during the birthday party but after what happened with the car too. Plus I like how the Grandmother asked why OP's parents treated him like that which was just plain wrong.
I also like how the Grandparents fixed the actions of OP's parents by doing a redo of OP's birthday party much to the parents' chagrin.
Or when they're Golden child goes downhill and the child that they neglected has a better life than they expected for The Golden child and think they have the right to try to fix the relationship with the child that they neglected
@@demonqueen3886 in this case the older favored brother is going LC or full NC for his own reasons already.
I am so angry at those hateful parents. All my life I wanted a daughter so badly. But we, too, knew we were stopping at two kids. Guess what? I have two sons. When I got the results of the u/s with my second, there may have been a few little tears of in-the-minute disappointment. But that was it. I love them both, so much. And although they are very different, I do my absolute best to treat them equally. That’s always been SO important to me. Those parents are horrible people and make my heart hurt for the OP. :(
My mother had no problem, when my sibs and I were growing up, that she got pregnant with my sister to get out of the house. She let my brother know he was an accident, and let them know that I was the child that was planned, and wanted. She always showed I was her favorite, and didn't care if no one liked it. I was not an entitled child however. I knew my mom was wrong, and I never tried to use that favoritism to my advantage. If you asked my sister, and brother they would say the same thing. However, we are all in our 50s, and they still blame me, and hate me. Yet, they have never blamed or confronted our mother about this.
Well, because of how I was raised, I was bound and determined NOT to show favoritism to my children. I have always let them know that I love them equally, but also individually for their own achievements and personalities, i.e let my eldest son know how proud I was when he played soccer, and received a scholarship to college. Let my daughetr (sons twin sister) know how proud I was/am of her each time her art was exhibited in an art show, and for graduating with her Bachelors 2 years earlier than other kids her age (20). Let my youngest know how proud I am of him for his special talent in math and robotics, and for being skipped a grade (should be in 9th, but is in 10th). My kids are now 22, 22, and 14, and each of them will say, without hesitation, that I NEVER favored any one of them, and always showed just as much love for one, as the other. I did not want to due to my kids relationship with each other, what my mother did to mine.
Sadly, to this day my mother hasn't changed. Mom an I had a disagreement in 2018, when I confronted her yet again that what she did to my siblings was wrong, and she is the reason why my sibs and I aren't close. She said, "Oh well, I was a young mother (17 when she had my sister, 19 when she had my brother, 26 when she had me), and I didn't know any better," then followed it up with, "They just need to get over it already." This infuriated me, and have since gone low contact with her.
It’s good that you’ve learned from your mother’s mistakes. Hopefully this correction passes down through the generations.
It took my grandparents 5 boys to finally have my mom. Funny enough it was my grandfather who wanted the girl more. But they loved their kids equally and truly. This story is just wow.
OPs grandma is a total freaking legend, the more she intervenes and berates the parents the more I smile
I have a favourite kid, whichever one isn’t driving me crazy. Eh, they’re good kids. Can’t imagine preferring one over the other
People like that don’t deserve to be parents. Treat your kids equally.
That car could've gotten OP killed depending on how and where it bit the dust. How did they not consider that when they didn't bother to make sure it wasn't a screaming metal death trap?
And then saying it was “karma” when part of the car basically blew up
These parents wouldn't care if OP got in a car accident and that's insane.
They wanted him to get in an accident
"They are a disappointment to the human race, what the HELL.."
Lol idk why but the way you said that made me laugh...but you're absolutely right. Screw those parents and I hope they live to feel regret once they see OP succeed above and beyond.
Also good on OP's extended family for being an actually decent family that had his back!!! ❤️
I want a grandma like OPs . You dont need a fairy Godmother when you got a Grandma like that.
A homemade cake is much cheaper, and healthier, than a supermarket bakery cake.
The favoritism is horrid.
The person who said he was the A-hole … why did the parents have to say it was because “brother worked harder?” If it was because they couldn’t afford it, they should apologize and say that.
People calling OP are the parents who have golden child. Who does that to a child. Like this is clear favouritism. I hope they go broke and have to come
To OP so he can throw them on the garbage like they ignored him all his life.
very refreshing to hear a story where the grandparents are awesome
I heard this one a while back and this is one of the more messed up stories of parental favoritism simply due to the fact that they seemed to have hoped that that death trap of a car would kill off their second son.
“They’re a disappointment to the human race “ made me cackle unexpectedly lmao 😂 you tell em
Anyone wanna bet the car and the party OP got came out of the inheritance the parents were expecting
That YTA vote pissed me off. 1) if the parents were struggling financially, I'm pretty sure the family would have known; 2) even if they didn't know, I doubt favoritism would have been their first conclusion without a blatant history of it. 3) wow, so asking why your brother is treated better than you despite you doing just as much work as him means you're a petulant child. Either that commenter isn't a parent, or they're a terrible one.
Y'know the messed up part is that OP probably going to get married in the nearby future might have kids one of them or two of them might be girls his parents find out then they want to talk to OP apologize for what they did and mostly because they want to spend time with their granddaughter or granddaughter's😬
I love this! This is what should happen when people are held accountable! Props to the grandparents and the rest of the family for being good people
Reminds me of a family member who tries to construct a fantasy life and if you do or say anything that contradicts it they lose it. Sometimes the fairytale doesn't come true. Some people can't cope
Gotta love reddit writing fan fiction to make OP the bad guy. Oh the economy is bad? Yea, that is a great reason why son #1 gets a homemade cake and son #2 gets cheap crap from the supermarket. Nope, sorry, does not fly. Even if we grant that maybe they could not afford a car, any car, that is far from the only obvious tell that they have a child they like and a child they tolerate.
Also if they really couldn’t afford a car at that time wouldn’t telling OP make more sense than not saying anything?? OP is an adult I’m sure he would understand.
Also didn't the brother say he got his car during peak of the pandemic?
AH parents and good for OP that has extended family members that can stand up for him
But...a forced gift isn't a gift. A forced hug isn't a hug. Personally I would not accept neither of that. His relatives won't be always around to control his parents. They don t want or care for him .Only thing left is to go NC
If the parents are narcissists (the most likely to have favorite/Golden child and Scapegoat/forgotten child dynamics), of course they won't change. They have no empathy, or a greatly reduced ability to have empathy. Older Son clearly was the Golden Child. This disordered thinking is extremely difficult to treat, if not impossible, because Narcissists either believe they are perfect, or spend so much time convincing themselves they are perfect, that they refuse to even entertain the possibility that they AREN'T.
You know what they say, "actions have consequences". I heard this story before, but even I was taken aback that the brother also wants to keep his distance from the parents, and he was the favored child. I guess this proves that you should never treat children like idiots, they can sense it when something is amiss, even if they cannot find the words to adequately describe it.
I remember this story! I read it with Reddit Brew. It's really sad that OP has been a disappointment for his parents. And all because of the fact that he failed to be born a girl. That's incredibly sad. (-_-;) I can kinda understand Gender Disappointment, but it really shouldn't matter what gender your baby is. And the family knows this and they're right for calling it out. Even the "Golden Boy" brother seems to be a decent person who sees how crappy his parents are. The true MVPS here are the grandparents, especially grandma who didn't tolerate the favoritism, AT ALL. And favoritism shouldn't be tolerated. All children deserve to be loved by their parents. And if you can't love their children regardless of gender, sexual orientation, their dreams, etc, then you shouldn't have had children.
I can see the "gender disappointment" when they're expecting and maybe the first few months or year. But 18 years of that crap? Of being half-assed support and doing the bare minimum to not be called abusers just because the kid is not the gender they were hoping for? Good gravy--why the hell didn't someone do something about this stupidity sooner? I mean--how could this resentment go on THIS long? OP's parents are immature, pouty idiots. Wonder how else they screwed things up because they "didn't get what they wanted".
@@tallyp.7643 That's exactly it I think the grandparents the aunts and the uncles all new that this has been going on since he was probably four or five and they wanted to put the parents in check but they didn't want isolate the other grandchild that his parents had from the rest of the family so they basically took the step off of approach and treated him as an equal when they were around other family members but the moment he became an adult was the moment they basically were like now's our time to go off on them. And I think they failed the original poster by not going off on them the moment this started happening you got to nip it in the budd before it gets worse. And the fact that they waited and then almost to some degree forced them to buy a second car for him and then threw him a party and force the parents to be there almost to some degree is making them even more angry and silence. They wanted to see them humiliated they wanted to see them basically soaking their anger and I'm really worried for his safety and the safety of the rest of the family members because these are people that really are prepared to take it to the next level and possibly do some serious damage to him and the grandparents because they are thinking we should have cut contact with these people the moment he was a child so that way the rest of the family didn't know.
Also, I think the grandparents and rest of the family pretended to tolerate it because if they showed their disappointment early the parents would've cut contact.
I think this is a win for them, finally putting those people in place for even doing that for the last 18 years, mind you the slight gender disappointment is okay for awhile.
But jeez, 17 years? That is sad
@@bryannaregalado9650 they had to they had no choice because I think if they showed the disdained when the original poster was like maybe six or seven I guarantee it they would have cut contact with both sides of the family with no contact and basically left town because they knew all the manically that if you go too far with the parents they will cut contact and they will not let the rest of the family hear it. Not to mention I think there thinking to themselves okay he's 18 we're going to speak our minds I just don't support people who wait until a child is an adult to speak the truth that you knew for years instead of just reporting them for emotional child abuse. And you know after all this the parents are basically saying we're done with these people we couldn't be ourselves and now instead of you basically waiting until they were young they waited and then forced the parents to sit there and watch as a part of their humiliation this is one of those situations where the parents are pretty much going to be more dangerous at this point
@@BIGEAGLEDUDE oof, if you put it like that, yeah it really sucks, in general it's such a sad situation for OP and the fact that gender is what negates the parent's happiness is what gets me.
You can just see the parents giving cat butt face through this entire story. Getting called out for favoring one child. Getting called out for making a half-assed attempt to fix the situation. 15 minutes of cat butt face. 🤔🤣🤣
Cat butt face! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m glad things worked out for you, OP. Your grandma rocks! It’s great that you have her love and support. Now go on to college and keep showing your parents how wrong they are about you.
"Sorry I'm not my brother."
"If you didn't want me, then why did you keep me? I could have been loved."
What kind of trash would get their child a car without ensuring it was actually safe?
I can understand being bummed when you want a specific gender child, and getting the opposite, but that doesn't justify not loving them or treating them poorly like this. Work through your feelings about that on your own, but don't take it out on your child! A person is not to blame for the plumbing they were born with.
this story just made me feel like OP was a mistake and the parents resent them for it and that resentment was picked up by the brother. and op never pressed their parents for a car. the grandparents and the rest of the family shamed them into it and called them out on their behaviour. it sounds like op lives in an area where there's no public transit so having a car to get to work/around makes sense.
edit: knew it. good thing op has their grandmother and the rest of the family. and it looks like the parents are going to lose both kids because of their behaviour. good.
That grandma rocks! Talk about screwed up parents! And I love the OPs work ethic and diligence! He will do well
This story is really messed in every way cuz they neglected their 2nd born because he wasn't part of their family plan so they gave all the love and support to their first born and treated him as though he meant nothing heck ops 18th birthday was when everyone decided they had of enough of their behavior on top of all that they buy him a car that was never in good condition basically buying him a death trap out of spite and telling him it's karma for making them buy the car to begin with it's a good thing the whole family called them out on their foolish behavior cuz they came to the realization how badly they screwed up and that they could've seriously injured or killed their kid with the car they bought originally I hope op goes no contact with these people cuz how could they see themselves as good parents after all the stuff that went down
So they hated that he wasn't born a girl. How fucked up is that...
I think it would appear that I have a favorite child because I have more in common with my daughter. Because of that and knowing how that feels I make sure I got out my way to spend time with my son too. I may not understand all his hobbies but I genuinely show interested in it.
Being closer to one kid than another is fine. That happens. But to blatantly favor that one kid...
The fact you put effort into spending time with your son despite not naturally understanding his hobbies means you are a great parent
Initial Gender disappointment is okay but after that initial disappointment get over it, your child should NEVER feel that.
Grand mom just eavesdropping while o.P talk to parents about "hard work" and yes, parents show up who'd is favorite Son.. than both son... Same level 🎚️
Parents give "silent treatment" ..
What hideous parents OP has. I love his grandma. I'm glad he learned the truth, as difficult as it was, so he can get on with his life with a clear conscience. I also hope he can build a good relationship with his brother. None of what happened is the older brother's fault. It's all on those miserable excuses for parents.
Tyvm LG. Stay safe please, peace.
Good afternoon lost genre I hope you have an amazing day enjoy!! Wow what a story those parents suck big time THANK GOD FOR YOUR GRANDPARENTS!!! THEY ROCK!!!! GOOD LUCK 💯 👍 💯 👍 💯 to you in college and DON'T GO BACK HOME TO THOSE TOXIC PARENTS thanks for sharing this story
My mom wanted all girls, (in order) she got my sister, my BROTHER, and then me (now fem presenting non-binary). Guess who's her favorite? My brother
What the heck did the parents hope to accomplish by treating the second son like that? What was their endgame?
Op has a wonderful family and won the lottery with those grandparents!
Yo! A 20 y/o lexus? That's probably a second gen! My father was gifted a 93 Ls400 which is a first gen they're amazing cars. They're quick even without modifying, the cabin is extremely silent, easy to install a Bluetooth car play into, have the executive look they were designed to have, super comfortable, an interesting piece of automotive history literally millions spent on R&D (for the Ls400 which was the fist lexus model) to the point of making sure it matched the plants and environment of the US and Japan anesthetics wise, very affordable classics and at least for cars before 96 they don't need to go to emissions testing which is my favorite part! The 98 legacy would've been amazing if they didn't buy a lemon. I currently own my second 16 subaru legacy and I'd love to own a 99 legacy since that was the year I was born, but currently am looking to buy an 04 sti my car guy found for me. I feel bad for op but I had to go on a little rant about how amazing those cars are!
I have fond memories of the maroon/wine red gs300 my parents had when I was a kid. Nothing has matched that quality interior since and I can't tell if it's nostalgia or what.
@@UntamedDragon02 I think it's the car and the memories! The Ls400 is the first Lexus we've owned but I know what you mean about there being a feeling of almost nostalgia when you get in and drive it. I sit in the driver's seat and think about all the history and how it's held up till now and still runs, looks and feels great! In your case there's the added memories of family am sure!
Mom was taking it out on the wrong person. OP isn't the one that caused OP to be born male, that was dad. The same actually could be said if they had wanted 2 boys and OP was a daughter. The gender of the child is determined by the father, not the mother or the child.
The absolute truth LG is that I really love your videos. Your positive attitude helps my mental health greatly. It hasn't been all that great recently. So thank you for that.
Hi Lauren, It’s my pleasure. I do hope things start to get better soon :) Take care.
My most fave/saddest part of this story
An 18 year old kid is way more mature than the whiny judgemental a-hole of the adults from reddit, and he called them out on it, and he was ON POINT
I don't know why people have kids if they're just going to treat them like crap.
Op grandma is a real one !
Ooh, this one hit really close to home for me, especially when OP opened up about his college situation.
I agree, LG
for both opinions before and after update.
they not nice people
some of the commentors also
OP was not being spoiled to expect some fair treatment, and was mature about it also
now had he thrown a tantrum or something and acted like the parents did then that would be different but he didn't
The parents were hoping that driving that shitty car would kill op
that's some parents who will grow old and alone !
maybe the golden boy brother will eventually come back and take care of them (I hope not, they don't deserve even his help) but they can't expect OP to do shit for them when they'll need his help !
Irony is their 18 year old gender disapointment based favouritism has cost them both their sons and I don't get buying gender based stuff for babies before they are born as even the scans today can be wrong.
LIKE OP MOST OF MY LIFE I HAD
TO "SIT ON THE SIDE LINE" +WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE
CELEBRATE SPECIAL MOMENTS
+ IMPORTANT THINGS IN THEIR
LIVES LIKE WEDDINGS,GRADUATIONS ,
HOLIDAYS ETC UNLIKE MY
BROTHER.
People like this should never be parents. They really favored the older brother just because OP wasn't a female. They are human garbage that karma is going to have a good time kicking around once you and they're "favorite" child leaves them. Man I feel so sorry for OP but at least he does have family who actually cares about them and seems to have a great support system. He just needs to move out as soon as he can
my parents had thought maybe having a boy would be nice, they were happier just to have 2 healthy children that didn't get into any major health scares bar the common ones (small child nasty flu, chicken pox i caught from my sibling who they caught from someone in their class, stomach flu round 2, ect)
NTA. Having a favored child just causing sibling division.
Let's just be real here his grandparents want to throw him the party just so they can rub it in his parents faces his parents basically didn't want to throw him a party and the answer uncles pressure them to do it. He's not in the wrong here glad he's got his car but be prepared they're not going to pay for his college and they're basically done with him and the rest of their family because they know that this has been going on for so long that took for the car situation and the birthday for them to basically put the parents in check at this point his parents are done with him and he's going no contact
🤔 I hope, you’ll like it) I moved out because I didn’t want to help my bf out with the rent… but than… ua-cam.com/video/m0Ed5N5tZzc/v-deo.html update is here
Part of me can understand wanting a gender of the second child to be one way and having it go another (happened to me, I blame the nurse who read the chart wrong though). But I came to embrace what I got and found what I was hope to still be there with my second. My wee girl rocks as she is such the princess with a battle axe. The prettiest little warrior in ribbons (even her war cry is cute). These parents failed in finding the gift they had with their second and looks like it will be their ruin as they will be losing both children as they leave the nest. They can now live with the ghosts of neverwas than live with what they have.
"You shamed us!" You shamed _yourselves._ Maybe don't play favorites and make it blatantly obvious which one is the favorite if you don't want to be shamed.
The family: You shouldn't be playing favorites
The parents: Okay
Also the parents: _gives Op the silent treatment while blaming them for being shamed_
Edit: "It's possible they couldn't afford to get you a car and just didn't want to tell you" So their response was to tell Op that the brother was more deserving because he worked hard despite Op working just as hard? Wow, way to let Op down gently rather than tell it to him straight that they couldn't afford it /s
Edit 2: "That's karma for making us get you the car in the first place 😌"
The grandparents: So you have chosen death