The Hardest Video I Have Ever Made Q & A- Ancestery DNA Results About My Father
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- The Hardest Video I Have Ever Made- Q & A About My Ancestry DNA Results. This is not a beauty video. Please note this is a video about my DNA results, my family and Mother and Father. If you are a woman looking for your birthfather I hope this video helps. I talk about how I found my father and answer many questions as to why my Father didn’t marry my Mother. I talk about living with family secrets and feeling that our past is somehow shameful….being cautious about what we say, what we reveal and how secrets damage our lives. I hope this video is more about love and hope than anything else. It’s the love that survives and all the rest falls away…at least that is the way I see it.
Update: The Veteran who told me he would take a picture of my Father’s grave this spring contacted me….and he took the picture this week and already uploaded it. What an amazing person.
Bill and I had such a great visit this week and hopefully, the weather will improve in the coming weeks where I can get to see him more than once a week.
Thank you all for being here and thank you for going on this journey with me......Love to you always, Susan & Desi
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I have tears writing this. Tears for your mother. And it made me realize how completely heartbreaking it was all those years ago for a young woman carrying such a blessing and how horrifying it had to be for her and many others in her position. I just cannot find the right words to express how I feel. And your step-grandmother... She altered the lives of you, your Mom and your dad completely!! How cruel.... And finally I have tears of both sadness and joy for you.. And I am beyond happy and excited for you as you continue to explore and finally get some answers. And what a precious and thoughtful gift from your son!!! He has to be an incredible and loving young man. You are truly blessed and I thank you for allowing us to share some of your journey with you. Lots and lots of love my friend!!! Sue
Ah thank you for your kind words Sue....your words touch my heart. How can I thnk you? I told the story my Mother told me....but with my DNA results and my aunt Donna's help, I filled in some blanks...what a journey this is. My Mother's pain was evident growing up but I never once saw her complain about her life. She was not a woman of means but she would find such joy in those around her...and at the thrift store she would just get so excited to get the smallest of trinkets. I miss her so and I felt her so close to me since I started this search for my father...deep breathe...my love to you and yours Sue...xxoo always
You have broken my heart. Appreciate your graciousness in sharing your story. Women today do not live with shame. Should be thankful. And I listen to you of your gratitude for everyday. GOD bless you in all you do.
Thank you Susan for sharing that with us
We are the sum of life events, Susan. We either fold or become stronger. ❤️. Sandra
That is so true.....and I am so in love with you and Arthur...you just make me happy and I love your pink hair my friend!!
I follow and admire both you Susan and Sandra. Your strengths lifts many of us to be stronger more independent women. Bless you both.
@@lindadupuis1531 thank you so very much. You know I appreciate you being in here as a part of our community of caring and loving women. Thank you again for your kindness.❤️
@lifewithsandtahart....this comment is about a comment you made 5 years ago...but I have to let you know, I got stronger!!! I am blessed!!!!!
Women have gone through so much over the years, due to the idea of somehow being shameful to a reputation. The story of your mom being locked away out of sight for being pregnant separated from her first child, and losing the man she loved is such a difficult story but without this story ironically there wouldn’t have been you, and telling this story you have given her a voice, about how cruel life was in days come by. It’s 2019 and many women still need a voice. You will find a picture of your father, it’s going to take time. Thank you for sharing your story.
Indeed.... Its 2023 and women still need a voice.
Your poor Mom. She must have died 1,000 deaths when she walked into that room to find your father gone. And to know it was because of your step-grandmother, so very sad. I’m sure your dad died 1,000 deaths when he found that your mother had married someone else.
Back then was such a difficult time for women, such a stringent set of rules to live by.
With your brother being 76 years old, I believe time is of the essence for you two to connect. No matter what kind of a relationship you may end up having with him, you do not want to live the rest of your life with regrets of could have been.
Desi, you little cutie, no words on what an adorable little munchkin you are.
Many hugs to you both - Barbara
"...died 1,000 deaths..." indeed. Her story is like a movie.
Life can be so complicated. This story is like a movie, and of course I just want to know more! You are such a great story teller, and what a story. Thank you for bringing us along on this journey.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Is this real? Or when you said your a great story teller you think she is
@@debra832 she’s very real. I can promise you that. 🥰
Oh sweetheart, my heart aches for your Mama. All she went through, all she did to have you. I pray that you find more information and pictures of your dad. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much Deb for understanding...I know it wasn't that long ago you lost your own Mother...I think love is so strong, we carry part of them within us forever....I know I join you in missing our Mom's everyday....thank you so much for letting me know you were here Deb...xxoo Happy weekend to you! Sues & The Dez
This is so sad, lost love. It should be made into a movie. I know it must be so difficult to share such a personal story, but I feel privileged that you did. I hope you find your Dad or at least pictures and more answers are given to you. Hugs.
It was a movie. Was it Bette Davis? I think it was called The Old Maid.
What an incredibly powerful video, Susan. Many lives were ultimately affected by situations where a young, unmarried woman was pregnant. Things were quite different when you, and I were conceived than how it is today. I hope you feel comforted by the fact that you have a community of admirers that you could share your story with that want to offer you their understanding, love, and support. The takeaway from this story is that you were conceived by parents who loved each other very much. Despite that adoration, your parents were not able to marry each other, and give you a family life where both of them played an important role in raising you. I was adopted when I was four months old. All I know is that my mother, and perhaps my father, were in the Canadian Navy, and stationed in N.S. when my mother became pregnant. She was originally from Alberta, so she didn't have friends, and family in N.S. At that time, you couldn't back out of your commitment to the Navy. Ultimately, she had to give me up for adoption, despite wanting to keep me, and having named me. When I was older, my adoptive parents wanted to fill in some blanks, and I found out my mother was English, and my father was Ukrainian. The name I was originally given by my mother is Katherine Louise Warford. I haven't searched any further, and I can understand your trepidation surround looking for your stepbrother, but remember, he isn't to blame for anything, and he didn't have the opportunity to know either of his parents. Best of luck with your journey to 'fill in the blanks', and your decision to research your father, and his family for answers, Susan. You've given me some food for thought as time quickly marches on; maybe it's time I should pack my bag as well. Love, and hugs, Susan, Sherrey💗🎀💗
You certainly are brave, Susan. I can sympathize with your mother. She must have been so scared. My thoughts are with you. Big Hugs!
Oh, Susan. Your mother's courage and determination, and your father's bravery and compassion, and the love between them that made you . . .and your bravery and compassion and love . . .you're right. This is the story of an American family. Your family. Love goes on and on. So much love to you.
Thank you Melissa so much for your loving kind words...they do mean so much...look at that doggie you are holding!!! Looking right at the camera!!!
Oh Susan, I can't imagine what your mom went through. Those times she lived in were brutal, so much condemnation and judgment. Stay strong in your journey, It's a lot to process all at once. Love you, God bless.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. "Love swirls around us..." I just love that, it gave me chills :)
Ah, you are so so sweet......I feel the love swirling around you! xxoo Happy weekend to you Kimberly!
I don’t think I’ve ever talked back to a video here on UA-cam...I found myself crying, and nodding my head as you spoke...telling you that I am so sorry, and thanking you with my heart for sharing this journey. My sincere love to you, dear Susan.
You have become a very important part of my day to day life.you inspire me to be a stronger woman.thank you for being there.❤️
Oh Nona...you are so kind and I am so happy you are here xxoo Susan
I was so captivated by your story. The way you spoke about your parents touched my heart and to me, your mother was a strong and brave woman. She did what she had to do and there should never be shame in doing what was right. I admire her!!! And, keep searching for the answer to your questions about your father. Never give up!!! But most of all Thank You for sharing this journey with all of us. By doing this I believe you are giving others hope Who May be searching too. Peace & Love 💕
I love listening to you, Susan. You are so amazing. Thank you for sharing this part of your life.
I was adopted. Born in 1963. My mother was pregnant by the love of her life, a American soldier. She was not married, and her mother felt she was not responsible enough to take care of a child. My dad did not want to get married. He lived in New Jersey. I met my biological mother before she died in 1996. Then I met my biological dad before he died in 2003.
There is a reason for everything. The adopted parents I was given, were the parents I was suppose to have. My adopted mother was my mother in every sense of the word. She out lived my biological parents. I could not ever asked for a better mother. ❤️
Thank you so much Susan for sharing your beautiful story.
I'm your age and back in the day I remember there was a lot of non-legal child giving happening. No lawyers...just lots of yearning for a child that couldn't be kept for one reason or another.My own father was one of those children. His mother was 16 when she had him and her family made her give him away. /the people that I grew up knowing as my 'grandparents' were loving and giving...and I didn't find out till I was nearly an adult about my fathers story. I had loved the grandparents that I always knew...and that didn't change one bit after the story came out. But when those grandparents died...because there was no legal papers for my father in that family...the one brother ( blood son of Grandparents) took everything. Leaving nothing for my father from his parents. Lots of bitterness ensued. The brothers never spoke again.
There is much of your family's kind of history out there. None of us need be ashamed of any of it. 💕
Such a beautiful yet tragic human story. The trauma your mother must have felt with the extreme situation forced upon her resulting from her first pregnancy... and then, with the loss of her love, your father, plus the unbearable loss of him a second time, due to her quick marriage to her friend and fellow band member... to protect you and ensure she could keep you. Suz, you were wanted and loved by both your parents, and your parents loved each other, and wanted to be together. How heartbreaking it turned out for each of you three. I am so very sorry you never got to meet your father... and he you. There is no question that he would have been so very proud of you. Yet, I t is entirely possible that he was... but stood his distance over the years not wanting to interfere, or harm you in any way. As you well know... it was such a different world back then.. -SO very different. Your mom would also be so proud of you, and your determination to ferret out her truth... your story and that of your family and then to tell it so beautifully, -when she could not. I so want to hug you ... then quietly sit close beside you, hope you might feel my love, respect, support and encouragement for you... and your new found cause. There is a new fire burning brightly from within you. May all your truths be illuminated, so as to satisfy the deep longings of your heart that began so long ago.
♥️ and much peace, dear Suz.
Gigi CS So beautifully said. I agree
Holly Holstein -Thank you.
You see this story is the perfect example of what a beautiful time of life this is for all of us. Things are made known to us that we only thought we knew and understood in our younger years. You are a beautiful example of the complexity and depth and artistry of women of a certain age that only comes with time. Youth is fleeting and shallow in comparison.
Oh Susan , this is the saddest story ever. I just want to cry for you .Things were different back then .I was born in 1946 .I think you are a brave sweet woman. I hope you find out about your dad. He probably never got over your mom.
I hope you find love in your family . Thank you .You are a real treasure . God bless you . love one another . 💝🐶Desi is so sweet .
Before I even watch, I'm giving you a huge hug Susan for being so brave about your family and life in general..... you're awesome!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗. Susan, during the 50s and 60s, I actually had friends who went through similar circumstances, and young women were put in "homes" and their children taken away, and now so many are trying to find family who were taken from them. I don't blame you one little bit for pushing forward with this. I'm happy for you honey. You'll get your answers and it's one of the saddest but most beautiful stories ever. 😘 Karen.
Much love to you . May God give you.His Peace and Joy in this journey of love.
Hey Susan! Loved this video and knowing it was hard for you, the story is so compelling. I was born in 1951 when they had homes for unwed mothers and yes, people gave up children for adoption. Times were so much more different. We all knew someone who gave up a baby. Now you know who your people are. That's wonderful even though the circumstances are tough, you know. Thanks for your story. You are brave.
I am raising my grandson. Your video has made me hopeful that he will grow up to have joy, even though his parents aren't really involved in his life. I pray that he thinks as highly of us, as you do your grandfather.
Susan, what a heart breaking yet beautiful life story!! I feel so much sadness and admiration for your mom!! What she went through being sent to that home I'm sure she felt shame put on her by her parents then when her baby boy was taken for adoption, so tragic. Then to have a wonderful man come into your life to make you live again to give you hope and happiness. But what strength and perseverance she had to take the heartbreak of her fiancée leaving her and once again being left alone.. She kept you and she did what she had to in order to keep you by marrying someone she didn't love. She sure loved you something fierce!! And the beauty of having you!! You are so right Susan there is no shame, there is only courage and love and I would be so proud if this was my Story!! And you better believe my bags are on board for the entire ride, Im not going anywhere.. Susan I love you, you are an amazingly strong woman!! Xoxo Lori K.😄 🌷 🌸 🌷 🌸 🌷 🌸 🌷 🌸 🌷 🌸 🌷 🌸 🌷 🌸
God bless the child that's got it's own. Being a woman is never easy. Your poor Mama.
My grandmother had very very similar circumstances when she was pregnant with my mother and my mother CRIED HER WHOLE LIFE because my grandma lied to her and wouldnt tell her ever who her father was her whole life!My mother was devastated that my gmother would never tell her ,i guess she just told my mother lie after lie,and my biggest heartache is that my mother died never knowing who her real father was.Someday in my mothers honor id like to find out who he was.God bless you ive seen the pain that this caused for so many women and children back in the 30's ,40's &
50's and you are so brave to share these intimate details of your life-thank you❤
What a movie this would make. My thoughts keep going to the woman who decided to reveal that your mom had been in a "mental institution." What could have motivated her to say something so cruel? (She knew very well what the outcome would be.) I can just see your mom excitedly getting dressed, only to walk out and find her true love was gone. But the beautiful part is that he came back. Yet how bittersweet that it was too late. (Life is truly stranger than fiction.) Got my backpack and combat boots on for the rest of the journey. Much love!💝
Thank you for sharing this it's so personal and touching. My grandmother who would have been around the same age as your Mother (she was young when it happened) was put in a mental hospital in Michigan the same way, for different reasons, more than once. Those were horror days back then when they did that. It's so wonderful you shine some sunshine on a very dark time & topic. I'm sending you a short message on Instagram... Much Love xo
Wow, I absolutely loved this video. This is exactly what doing genealogy is all about. You have to take the bad with the good. Your answers made perfect sense for the time period. It amazes me that neither parent remarried or had any other children. I’m thinking they were each others one true love 💕. I think you’re smart not to rush in to meet your half brother, until your ready. But, don’t wait too long as he’s getting up there in age. Try to remember that he took the test for a reason; to find out who his ancestors were and to find his bio parents . I’m so sorry to hear about your mom and what she went through. Back then they swept things under the rug, and nowadays we are bringing those dust bunnies out from under that rug and dealing with all that crap. Congratulations, you are awesome !
Me too. I couldn't have said it better.
Very good insightful and sweet comment Gail. The 50s and 60s were really something weren't they??? ( But I'd take em back....lol)
Susan, You are so strong! Bless you!❤️❤️
As a woman that was rejected by her father, this really got to me. It has affected me more than I can express to know that a parent totally didn't love me. My father left my mother when I left home and he never wanted to set eyes on me again. My husband found my father and asked him to be a part of my life, but he told Doug that he would move if I ever tried to contact him again so he could hide from me. When I hear other women talking about being a "Daddy's girl" it's painful. I wasn't any man's "little girl" and it's hard, isn't it? I never knew what I did "wrong" to make him reject me so harshly. So I just wish you the best of luck in processing all of this. It's hard and it take a long time. Love to you, Melissa
Oh Melissa....I can feel your emotions through the words you choose and wrote so beautifully. The first question that pops into my head is was your father really your biological father? I am so sorry life threw this at you....the pain to a woman when she is missing a father goes so deep I am not sure there are words for it. I would go so far as to say I bet I would not do half the things I do to keep myself up if I didn't have this life long feeling that if maybe I had had been " better", my Father would have loved me and been in my life. I know we are getting deep here....but it's a hurt that we carry. The good news is I think it builds character and you know that saying...." if you can't be a good example then be a horrible warning" and the warning to me was make sure you love your child and be there for them. You and I didn't have father's that walked us down the aisle....and that made us the strong women we are today....but not without great cost. My love to you my friend...I am going to Chatanooga to visit my father's grave, do you think I could buy you a coffee? are you by there at all?
@@LittlePoet I would love to meet you in Chattanooga!!! I'm about 45 minutes from there and can't think of anything better. Yes he is my biological father and I grew up with him, only to have him totally reject me in my adulthood. But here's the thing. I think it made me a better parent and grandparent. I really do. Love you!!! Email me volmel@yahoo.com and I'll send you my number so we can text and make plans. Love you!!!
@@Melissa55 Oh this is wonderful....! what a wonderful day that will be!!!
This was profound, Susan. I'm incredibly honored that you decided to share it with us. What a gift to find some contentment in knowing the truth. Wishing you the best as you go forward on this new road. Xoxo
This took so much courage. Thank you so very much for sharing with us. Your mother must have truly been a strong soul. What a fantastic book this would make. In search of your father, you have come even closer to your mother and how much suffering she had to endure. The history of womankind is simply tragic.
Hugs to you and Desi Sweet Friend🤗🤗 What a Story, ❤️ Have a Wonderful Weekend and Week ahead😊👍
Texas Lady xoxo
Oh Susan your story brought tears to my eyes. I am 51 years old and my dad left my mom with nine kids when I was just 3 months old. My oldest sister was 16 and I was the baby. My mom passed away in 2016 and she never told me anything about him but I knew he was not a good man because he never once tried to contact any one of my siblings since he left. I have no idea what he looks like and it has bothered me for years. I found out recently he lives in a town about an hour from my home in New Jersey. The pain I feel in my heart will never go away. How could someone do that do their own child. Your story made me feel like i was not alone and for that I thank you.
Oh Bonnie....you make me feel not so alone. I can only imagine your pain.....not knowing our fathers is so difficult and not talked about much. I am wondering if you have a desire to talk to him? I think for myself when I started my search, I just wanted to know who he was....where was he from. I needed to make him real. I have a feeling the day I get his picture one of two things will happen....I will move on...or I will just have to know more!
You're telling this story and I swear, I find myself watching it as a movie in my head! My goodness! Your story's sad, tragic, wonderful, beautiful and everything in-between!! Keep going! We're all with you!!
What a journey this must be. God bless you as you keep finding answers. You’ve become so strong these past two years...so many changes, and inward reflection. And I believe that you look more beautiful and even more youthful than ever. There is no shame in things when we do the best we can. I understand the time of that era, it must have been heartbreaking for your mamma and dad. Sending love dear Susan to you and Desi. ❤️-Ruthie & Whiskers
My mom is 88. She never knew her father but did some research to try and find him. His name was George Stuart MacFarlane and he and my Grandma were star crossed lovers. The story my mom told me about how they married during the early1900’s during the time of the Irish troubles. He was in the Irish Guard which is part of the English Army and the family was not happy about the marriage. They left Ireland and lived in Canada but my Grandma left and came to New York and gave birth to my mom. She tries to return to him but couldn’t. She raised my mom and never spoke to her about her dad. I have traced him to Erie County, NY but hit a wall after that. I am going to get cracking on finding his story so I can give my mom some answers before it is too late. Your beautiful testimony of your journey to find your story has truly inspired me. You are a beautiful soul!
Very heart felt story of your life Susan.
You are not alone, many girls suffered the same.
Love from Maureen from New Zealand x
God bless you! My heart just broke hearing of your mother's ordeal. You've got a lot of us out here pulling for you and Desi, and sending our love to you. Have a fabulous week. See you next week!🌻
Thankyou so much for sharing this. Your mother and father would be so proud of the woman you are. You truly are a wonderful soul. Thankyou again. Much love to you and sweet Desi xx
Wow. You’re from MI? I was born & raised in Detroit for 27 years. :) I also have a dysfunctional background. I didn’t spend my first Christmas with my Dad until I was in my 40’s and had kids myself. It was the best Christmas ever to spend time with him and my kids together! :) Over the years I got to find out how much I was like my Dad and that was really special. :) Unfortunately, I haven’t had a relationship with either one of my parents for quite some time, for various reasons, and I have no doubt that I will remain the scapegoat for all my parent’s issues until their deaths. I was their love child, (but they got married briefly) and I think it’s just easier to sweep me under the rug, then to have to think about what was between them. It’s weird being an adult orphan with living parents, but it is what it is. I just wanted to say that you’re not alone, and we receive a little bit of comfort when we hear that there are others out there who can relate to our stories. Hugs to you! 🤗
My dear, sweet, radiant friend! it has been so exciting to come along with you on this journey of discovery. Big hugs and lots of love! 🧜🏻♀️❤️🦄
OMG Susan my heart hurts for you and for your mother too. Maybe your mother didn't have mental illness she was just sent away to have the baby. She only did what she did for the love of you at that time. I agree she wasn't going to let anyone take you away from her. I wonder if your father held the torch burning for your mother and never wanted another relationship. Thanks for sharing your personal life and I so love you. You are a strong woman and you will contact your half brother when ever you feel right about doing it. Cathey
I am so happy for you that you know who your father was now, and so proud of you for telling this story!!! My Sues is part "southern" I just LOVE that! When you head towards Georgia, you have a place to pit stop here with us! Unanswered questions are the hardest, and now you have some answers! Desi **almost** looked at the camera! Love you Sues!!!
Oh Shelia! desi got very shortchanged in this video! No face time. I have been a little worse for wear the last few weeks finding my Dad and his family. The very first close friend I made on UA-cam years ago is from Georgia! That just blows my mind. I could never figure out why all my besties were southern! Maybe now I know...I sure do love you!!! And I will make a stop at your house if you will have me!!!
@@LittlePoet you are always welcome here!
Crazy....my Dad just found his father recently (unfortunately his dad has passed) My Dad is 76 years old. He also discovered that he has a sister and two brothers (one who passed away). My dad was born in 1942 and his siblings (yes, half) were born in 1952, 54, and 55 (he didn’t know they existed) They have now talked a ton and text etc. We are meeting them next month.
I wish my Dad had gotten to meet his Dad too😞
But I’m excited to add an aunt and uncle and some cousins.
Ancestry and DNA is one crazy crazy ride!
It is SO complicated.
There is no shame at all. I agree 100000%
Thank you so much for sharing 💜
Thank you so much for being here...you are so lovely! You are so right...the past and DNA can be a wild mix! Happy new week to you Penny!
Wow! I think it must be very therapeutic for you to share this. Every family has its secrets. I hope you can follow through with this and finally close the book on it. Hugs.
I just found you here today Wow! I am so happy I did. What a beautiful story of your family. I do hope you find some answers and your brother also. God bless ❤
Oh, Susan, you are so strong and brave to share your truth. This story of your parents is so romantic, but sad at the same time. Those past years were very different than present day, and unwed mothers were whisked away until the birth of the baby. My heart breaks that your mother was sent to a mental hospital; that had to be a frightening experience! And, then to lose her baby! They say that life imitates art, and your parents romance reminds me of so many books that I've read and movies that I've seen. I wish that your father had come back sooner and married your mother. And, let's not forget that B---- that gave your father the wrong information about why your mother was in a mental facility. She must have been really jealous of your mother. Knowing all this, I strongly suggest that you meet your half brother before it is too late. You both could be a comfort to each other and answer questions for each other. Thank you so much for sharing, Susan. I am sending prayers your way for a smooth journey. 💜
So much sadness. So many regrets they must have had. But now you know why? You know the answers to so many questions. You now have some closure. Your mother WOULD be so proud of the beautiful person you have become. Thank you so much for sharing this with us Susan. And yes! We are all in this with you. God bless you.
You touch my heart Jo....I am so glad you are here...you are right...I can't forget...I went 64 years not knowing who my father was....and now I do. His picture that I made up in my head so long ago may have to be it.....and I am ok with that.....maybe.....xxooo Have a good night Jo
Unbelievable the secrets from the past. Keep connecting the dots, there’s a reason for this journey to be completed. My friend in her 50s her mom passed, going through papers she discovered that she and her brother were adopted at different times, only a living aunt knew and kept the secret. She always wondered why she and her brother bore no resemblance to any of the family. Secrets....thanks for taking us along.
Your story is an American story. We shamed those young mamas then and we still do, but in a different way. I've devoted my life's work to helping new mom's and babies. Sometimes it's a daunting task. The system isn't a fair one.
I applaud your courage and tenacity in finding your father and telling your story. It's an important story. It reminds us where we've been. I'll keep doing my part-- giving new mamas a hand. Maybe one day we'll bring the rest of society along with us and they'll realize that keeping moms and babies together and healthy make the world a better place.
Your beautiful words make me want to jump to my feet and shout AMEN! I respect you so much making your life's work helping mothers and babies....not only were there little to no support for the unwed mothers, she went to jail ( unwed mother's home or worse) and at the end, no child. Just hurt and shame. She was " damaged". I agree with you...now it is much different, but the support is still lacking. Thank you so much for being here Teresa xxoo
@@LittlePoet((((( hugs)))))) ❤️🙏🤗💝
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your story is sad, happy, lovely and all kinds of emotions. Just know we care about you and hope when you learn all you can that you feel at peace. Your mother was beautiful and you are as well. You're beautiful on the inside as well the outside. Such a talented woman and so brave!!
Sending you and Desi Love and ((Hugs)), Jodi & Katie Rose
Jodi and Katie! Oh I thank you so much for not forgetting me! I just love you both! Happy new week!
One of your best videos. Re-watching 4 years later!
Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Thank you. My dad passed in 2010 and my mom left us in 2016: when she did, we were reading their love letters from the 40s. The had been married 62 years when my dad passed. One card was before my oldest sister was born and it alluded to a baby, so, we are left to wonder if we have another sibling out there. When your time is right, you will connect with your brother. How amazing to find these things out and thank you for taking us on your journey. Blessings to you.
Sharing your story will help others. You show such grace our world needs to be shown that in such a real way. God bless you and your journey.
Oh Susie I do understand why this was so hard to film. Hopefully you will make contact with your brother soon. You know I am always at a loss for words, but never at a loss for visceral emotions. Love to you, and The Dez...MaryEllen
Hi Mimi....ah I am so happy to see you and thank you for taking the time to be here. I could never re-shoot that video. That comes around once...and then you have to move on. Times have changed....I hope your new week is a great one! I went to a new fancy car wash tonight and got my new buggy all shine dup...I HAD to think of you!!! C300...ooooo-la-la xxooo
I feel so honored that you would share this with us. It is an amazing story of love and loss. It is a beautiful yet painful story too. I have to wonder why your mom made you give up your first son knowing the pain she went through with hers. That is the only piece of this story that still puzzles me. I hope you find your brother. He deserves to know this story. He deserves to know beautiful and talented YOU! He also needs to know how brave your mom was. No more shame! How different everyone's life would be if it happened today. Big hugs!!
The tragic legacy of Irish Catholicism ( shame , guilt , secrecy etc ) becomes deeply embedded in the DNA of one's psyche ... esp those raised as females . Not hard to understand why her mother never fully broke free of the power religion had over her because she could never face her own secrets during her own lifetime . Thankfully it is now changing but the tentacles of shame still spread through each generation . Religion has so much to answer for ...the doctrines and dictates of each religion ( Islam, Judaism & Christianity esp ) are largely founded upon control , power & fear of Gods wrath rather than love . The love and acceptance that Jesus taught was certainly not reflected in sChristian Churches throughout the centuries .
I was a child...I was 15....my Mom was raising me alone and I see now, she was scared. She was already working 2 jobs to keep a roof over our heads. ...I think she did the best she could...and if she withstood the pain of losing a child perhaps she thought, so could I.
That's a wonderful way to look at it Susan. You both suffered great loss and pain. I am glad you are on this journey and I hope it is very healing. How sad that your mom had such a cruel stepmother. She must have been hurt beyond comprehension.
YOU are stronger at the broken places! Bless you, Susan.
My sweet Little Poet. I would so read your book.
So would I.
I am so proud of you for sharing! I love you and I love your Mother for all she faced. This is an American story and it is an echo of many people's lives! Kisses and hugs from SE Mich!
I wait for your Friday videos. Although I don't comment very often you have been a part of my life for three of the four years you've been sharing your life with us on utube. You have no idea how much of a help you've been to me in some of the toughest experiences in those years
I don't need ancestry to locate family. Or stories of them.. I have the scars of the previous generations too. We are all strong in the broken places to paraphrase your quote. But few can express it as you do Susan.
I wish we could go thrifting together.
♥️ The history marks us, without us knowing it... It's good that you finally got to understand more about your roots, and yes, things were so much more complicated back then ♥️ I'm always touched by your stories.
Dearest Susan, I don’t write nearly enough my dearest niece is dying
And I have to be there for her( to send her off) enough,your candor and tender heart have touched my soul, your bravery and tenacity have made me stronger. I can only say I love and strive the woman
Im so happy you sat and talked to us today - so many of us truly care about you. Times were so different "back then" and so sad for some and their families to face the shame..it had to be horrible. But under all of this there is a true love story...I believe in my heart that your father never married because he waited for your mom. One thing for sure they had an amazing daughter and her name is SUSAN ! Love you and little Desi, one day hes going to look into that camera and smile !!! oxoxoxxo
Oh now I can rest..you are here.....yes you are right...the times were so different...
Your family had such a compelling story. Thank you for answering all those questions. I felt so sad for your Mother. I read about girls being sent away to have their babies. That was very cruel to put her in a state mental hospital. It’s amazing that she came out sane after that. I don’t think they were very nice places in those years. Your step grandmother was horrible for telling your Father that information. She had no business doing that. I pray you get to see pictures of your Father soon. The cinematography is beautiful! I think Desi snuck two looks at the camera. Much love, Lucy
Oh Susan, my thoughts and prayers are with you and I am sending you virtual hugs! Susan
Oh my goodness, you are amazing! I wish for you all the answers you are seeking and God speed on your journey. Sending the biggest hug from Texas this Saturday morning.
Oh my...what a story!!! This is so interesting...yet sad 😭. Your mother was beautiful you look so much like her. I am on your fascinating journey with you...all the way.
My sweet friend, I'm sending some big squeezy hugs through the internet to your house in snowy Michigan. What an emotional story your mom and dad had. I think by marrying the man in the band, she did what she thought she had to do for herself and for you. She had no way of knowing whether your father would ever be back. But how sad that he did come back and it was too late. Ever since you had your DNA test to ancestry, I thought oh that would be a cool thing to do and now I think, is this something I really want to know? What if it's not what I think it is? Love you. ❤
Thank you for sharing. Such a beautiful and touching story. My maternal grandmother was married at 16 and divorced in the 40's. She never talks about it. He beat the crap out if her, and the family chased him off.
Oh my, Susan -- thank you so much for sharing your family history. I am binge-ing and catching up on some of your older videos to get to know you a little better. This video is so moving. I wish I could give you a pat on the back or a hug. I have learned in some studies I did a few years back that women were put into mental institutions for the most ridiculous reasons. I am so impressed with how you look at things. I loved what you said toward the end, that there is so much love -- just swirling around. I'm going to remember that. That is often how I pray. I often don't know what people really need or even how to best express it if I did know, so I just send love to my loved ones, my town, our country, and the world. I actually visualize it in the air (as if love were light), just swirling around the planet. What you said really resonated with me -- amazing. Thank you so much. 💗
Your story is so moving, thank you for telling your truth. I would guess that your half-brother would want to know you, know about his birth-mother. Only you can decide whether and when to walk that path. Technology has given you answers you've been seeking for most of your life. I hope you find joy and peace in your new knowledge and finding your extended family.
Your mom sounds like a wonderful person. When struggling for answers, sometimes we just have to remember that we do the best with what we know. Best wishes to you.
Thank you for sharing. You're a lovely person
Yes! You are so precious to pour out your heart. Thank you for being courageous and generous and sharing this incredible journey. I totally relate to your story as it bears many similarities to my own. The take away for me: Love is stronger than death. God bless you LittlePoet.
I am so glad you are finding answers to questions you have had for a long time. You have touched my heart with your family story. I think you are right, it still goes on in some families even today. I feel like your mom and dad must have been so in love. Elaine
We all have baggage, injustice and family dynamics that bring ancestral pain and need healing. It’s so beautiful to share this together and know that we are not alone.
Thanks Susan for sharing your life, and being so open and vulnerable about such an important part of your story.
You are a strong, brave woman. Thanks for sharing. Kudos!!!
Dear, dearest Susan. Your you tube videos are such a blessing! You have put so much love and so much of yourself and your feelings in them. I found you tonight through Patti's page, and so, I watched several of your videos. You talk with such warmth and love and your beautiful heart shines so beautifully. My family history has a few things in it that yours does. My mother was locked up in a mental institution for years in Michigan. That was a very difficult time in my life as I was so young. I too, had gotten myself pregnant and sent away so "the neighbors would not find out". I was forced to give up my baby for adoption. I am 72 years old and this still affects me to this very day. It is something I will never "get over". I have an older brother who is 76. We had our DNA done through Ancestry.com and found out we were not related! Not even a bit! This was devastating news for us. Long story short, he was mixed up in the hospital and given to the wrong mother. No one knew or had a clue about this until we found out through Ancestry. I wish I would never have had my DNA done! Blessing or a curse??? My brother has an older brother and a younger sister., and so he has met his siblings and is getting to know them. My real DNA brother died in 1996. He had no children and was not married. Anyway, listening to your story brought back such a flood gate of memories and emotions for me. I found my son and we have emailed several times but that slowly winded down. I found him within one week using the Internet! I hope to meet him before my time is up. So anyway Susan, thank you for your awesome videos! I shall be following your story! Lots of love to you.......Patty
Thank you for sharing your family history with us. My Mother had a similar situation before I was born in 1941. The sadness must have been overwhelming for our Mothers. My Mom ended up marrying my Dad and they were married over 60 years. I hope you get to talk with your Dad's family soon. Blessings!
Life, love....and they both continue on!! Awesome!!
You are such a beautiful human being ! I commend you for your honesty! You are right about all of us having skeletons in Our closets! There is NO shame in that ! We live , we learn, we LOVE ! I wish you all the luck in finding what you yearn to know !
Im so proud of you. This was a true LOVE STORY. One to be so proud of. I will continue to follow you. And watch that gliw on your face as we walk threw this. Love you always.
Your spirit is unbreakable, good for you! You certainly do resemble your Mother, pretty lady. Heart rendering and beautiful story, thank you for sharing such a personal story. I'm sure the ending will be warm and happy. Hugs, Senior diva
The music was phenomenal in this very emotional video. What a heartbreaking story about your mom and your dad when he came over to marry her. Your grandmother was horrid to tell him about your mom being in that hospital. Sending hugs.
Thank you for sharing your family story. I shed quite a few tears for your mom, for your dad, for you, and for me; my own story of healing and forgiveness evolving with the passage of time. Sometimes the words of a stranger can bring such comfort albeit through a flood of tears.
You are a precious woman to share your most personal story of your life with us is a tender and touching thing to do. You speak to the hearts of many people who have shared pain and loss and disappointment. You have such a wonderful way of making us all feel like we are dear friends. May God bless you. Thank you
having a good ole therapeutic cry all the way through this video, thanks for sharing your story and answers... i wish you so much, love Kat & Freyja x
you are so wonderful to be here...thank you so much
You are such a beautiful person! Thank you for sharing. I'm on the same journey in finding my father and his family.
Oh how my heart aches for your mom. Growing up during that time brought much injustice. You are an amazing human Susan. I love your outlook on shame and familial history. Life keeps going. We can't let it get us down too far, just move on and make it great anyway. ❤
Abolutely my bag is packed for this journey! Much love to you Susan (Desi too!) ... Smiles, Stella
Susan, wow your story, the roughness of life in 1950's and how God is using you to draw others who have brokenness and extreme sorrow..You see, many have wounded souls and your story brings a wonderful soothing touch, to the heart. It's like your pain is also your Gift. Spiritual gift, showing others that there is hope and a positive outcome. Your gift is your calling. And your dog has a similar past and that is your bond. Together you minister to others. But you know this. You've known it for quit some time. So this is so good because you are helping others in a deep real way. Only other spiritual guides can understand. Your gift is your calling and it is sent to help many and encourage a love of life and the peace of God.
You're a beautiful woman -- inside and out. Thank you for sharing such an intimate and beautiful story -- full of love, sadness, joy, pain - all of it. I love your videos and love you. xo, Sue
I see and feel how difficult this has been for you, you are not to blame for things that happened before you were born. You Father like us all was proud. Emotions are powerful and exhausting.
I love the black and white picture of your Mom at the end. She is movie star beautiful. Oh, what we go through as women. This video is old now. I hope you found that your Dad didn't die alone. And you connected with your half brother, and your Dad's family. My Dad is gone now, too, but never forgotten. I believe some of us come here to heal our ancestry. You and I are those people. I cried the length of this video because it is tragic in Shakespearean proportion.