i thought i had gotten over internalized ableism til i started looking for aids. my illness (POTS) only benefits from things with seats, so despite having a moderate case (i havent been hospitalized by it like in severe cases but i still definitely have it), i would still be able to live better with part time use of a chair and/or rollator. but ive been conditioned to think that i need to spend every second of every day pushing myself and working on endurance and feel bad for just wanting to be comfortable and wanting to enjoy myself a bit more, because i know other people have it worse.
It’s so difficult isn’t it, to uninstall years of conditioning?! We need to stop measuring ourselves against anyone else and just think of something will help - easier said than done I know! But I’m here for you 💪 You can do it!
If only people could think how important it is just to be able to do with less pain. The able bodied are allowed to go for a relaxing walk or go windows shopping without everything being a push or a challenge, yet we deny ourself that. I also see you doing something I always do, namely downplaying your situation as others have it worse. It's a good attitude a lot of the time to see the positives, but as my bf says, "that may be so but what you are going through still sux" we can support others and still be allowed to feel for what we have lost. So go for it, give back your own ability to just browse and focus on enjoying life not just fighting.
With my legs getting worse, I've been looking into getting an aid. My mom is honestly supporting me, which is is making it easier. I haven't decided on one yet, but I know I need one. I've been in pain for too long now, to say I don't need one, because I've already noticed that a service dog helps me, with my other disabilities. I've ignored it until my hips started hurting almost every time I walked, I also fall occasionally, and I'm worried that as this gets worse that I will keep falling. I might try a cane/walking stick first, but my dog has a problem with sticks. My mom also has a walker that I can try. If my doctor recommends a wheelchair, I will use it.
It sounds like using some kind of mobility aid would really help you so I'm glad that you're speaking to your doctor to get advice. Falling is especially worrying and I hope they take it seriously. Let me know what route you go down - good luck!!
This video was so interesting! I recently started using a wheelchair after an injury, but realised it had a really positive impact on my quality of life and ability to do things and it is so freeing. Currently i use a manual wheelchair from a mobility store, however I'm looking into/trying to get referred to get a proper fitting chair as that would make me have less barriers. Your points about internalised ableism were so important, it can be so hard to combat the voice that says you don't need a chair, but a friend told me 'if you are thinking of getting a wheelchair in the first place, you almost definitely need it' and that helps me.
I think the medical profession are worried that once in a wheelchair we will get lazy/complacent and stop trying to walk or keep strong. And that leaks into our own thoughts. But although that may very well be true for some people it’s not everyone. Just like using a car doesn’t stop everyone from keeping active, walking, jogging etc I hope you get fitted for a chair soon as it really changed my life FND increased my independence as it was so much lighter to push. Check out my Wheelchair Tag video where I talk a lot about the chair. It’s totally worth the money! Thank you for watching 🥰
@@SearchForSilverLinings I very much agree. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and when I told my doctor I was thinking about needing a wheelchair she was very opposed to it and was very concerned that I would become lazy or not exercise. Although my illness may be limiting it somewhat, I still exercise as much as I can despite eventually getting that wheelchair. Goes to show how many doctors automatically assume how you will just give up on your health after getting a little help.
The ableism part of self doubting yourself is so relatable and true to me. I think its because I'm so new to this disability I have. I grew up only getting and feeling sick once or twice a year. And the only time I went to the hospital was to either get a yearly physical, injury, or to visit someone else. So to go from someone who was rarely sick to someone who feels sick almost on a daily basis and multiple ER and hospital visits in a year than I ever have had in my entire life has been very overwhelming for me. I see different multiple doctors now. Most times I have multiple doctors visits in a month/ week. My life has changed so much in the last two years, I barely even recognize myself. I so desperately want to return back to the me that was rarely sick but at the same time I'm working on accepting my new reality. I now use mobility aids like my cane and my rollator walker which I'm thankful to have. Man life with a disability is challenging but I'm getting through it. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy though.
I love the little saying you mentioned from your grandmother. It works so well in so many different ways - whether it is someone being nosey, internalised ableism or just in general with bigoted views or misinformation. As someone who has been umming and aahing about 'being disabled enough' for years now wondering whether to get a walking stick, having people like yourself saying things like "if it works, if it helps, use it" really is a confidence boost.
Oh she would be so happy to know that her advice is still helping people! I'm glad you feel a little more confident it really is just a matter of getting your head around it at first, the rest comes after! Keep going! Do you follow me on instagram? I talk about this stuff all the time!
Thank you so much. I actually don't even know the reason yet behind my declining mobility (Although I heavily suspect EDS and am being screened for it soon). I'm 31 and have been avoiding getting a chair for the last several years because I thought if I could just push past the pain I should -seeing as I didn't have a diagnosis. Big mistake. Thank you for helping me embrace this useful tool 🌻💜
I’m so glad! Personally, pushing past my own pain limits has caused additional problems with a mind-body disconnect so I’m glad you are able to listen to yours 👏💪🥰
Omg I felt like I wrote this comment myself…I am in the EXACT SAME boat, except so bought a power chair back in 2019, but have rarely used it because I felt the same way; I can walk, so I should. I can push past my pain, and I think part of it was me thinking, “if I keep pushing past the pain, then one day I may not have pain!” and I think I thought that in making the decision to consistently use my chair, meant I was “giving up,” or even worse, accepting that I have a disability.
So much internalised ableism we have to unpick so that we can just use the tools we need. It’s so wrong and so sad. And ultimately, so dangerous imo. No one says it’s giving up to use reading glasses do they 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you so much for this. I'm about to have a wheelchair seating and am going through all the emotions you just mentioned. I use a rollator but sometimes I get stranded with it as in suddenly run out of energy before I get back to my vehicle.
I've been using a cane for a few months now, but I recently purchased a rollator walker because I need to sit often while I'm out due to my chronic fatigue, pain, shortness of breath and bouts of fainting spells. I have been seriously thinking and researching electronic wheelchairs because I think I would like to have one in the near future. Just for days when my fatigue and pain is too much to physically push my rollator. It would be a great alternative to have a electric wheelchair on the super bad days. But that's just a idea for now. Great video btw.
Thanks for posting this !!! I have recently had to use crutches and have bought a wheelchair which I hope Will help for days when fatigue wins as someone can push me and other days get to go further than crutches allow .I am having a mental fight over the 'ableism ' glad to have a name for the battles in my mind!!😍
I’m thinking of getting a cane to help me on bad days but I feel guilt using it as I still go on hikes and nature walks and can manage un-aid but it will help me I think in town I can lean against it so I don’t have to sit down every 30 mins. It will also help me in labs at uni as a visual cue that I need to sit down and can’t really stand up as long as everyone else
It can be really hard to undo the conditioning we’ve experienced and come to see aids like walking sticks or canes as simply things to help. So many physical disabilities aren’t static but fluctuate and if a cane helps you in some situations but is unnecessary in others then using it when it helps makes total sense. It’s only society that tells us it doesn’t. Some people wear glasses all the time, other people only wear them for certain activities and yet we don’t condemn those for wearing glasses occasionally, or call them fakers. I understand how you might feel guilty but try and let that feeling wash away. It’s not needed. You deserve to be helped. You deserve the best this world has to offer 🥰
Yea I've used a cane for awhile now and it's fun and cool and it worked with my renaissance faire outfit and people think it's neat but still ask questions. Recently I've been thinking maybe I should get a rollator for when I'm doing really bad and need something to support, sit and possibly wheel around while sitting especially when I'm pregnant and have huge fall risk.... But I'm scared of that so I decided to get some forearm crutches first because usually it's one leg that is worse than the other so I ordered some cute crutches... Still nervous about ever using them... but also really excited to get them because I feel like they will help more than my cane does on bad days. They are a favorite color too. My brain tells me "you're not disabled, more exercise and power through it you got this" but if I do that typically I just hurt myself further but it's still so hard to break out of that mindset of "fixing" it when I could be modifying how I do things so that I don't make it worse. I'm not unfit because of my issues but my brain tells me if I don't push onward I will be. It's very frustrating because pushing myself too hard is how we made it worse in the first place
There’s a lot to undo when it comes to incorrect programming, it sounds like you’re working on it though and my best tip would be to listen to your body. If it feels strong enough one day then fine, if if tells you it needs more support on another day then try to listen to it. It doesn’t mean it’s fixed like that. 💪👯♀️🥰
I appreciate this video, as i do struggle with my internalised abelism. As i have multiple auto immune disorders my day to day and minute by minute can be vastly different. I am very overweight, but i have been for over 30 years, but have only had to be dealing with actual disability for a couple of years since my most recent auto immunes joined the family. I get so frustrated when i hear people judging my disability being due to my weight. I want to throw my rollator (my scooter is too heavy) at them and ask why i could walk fine for the last 28 years whilst also fat. Grrr. I definately was worried before finally getting my first walker which led to seeking a scooter as well. But by golly the independance i have regained to be out and about more than compensates for any percieved stigma.
@@SearchForSilverLinings indeed. But once I broke the first barrier it became easier. I would encourage anyone hesitating to embrace it. In fact it is only because I have increased my outside mobility that I can now get to the pool to exercise, so mobility will lead to Increased strength and mobility. Plus fresh air is essential for wellbeing
Thank you I've lost all sensation in my legs and I felt like I wasn't disabled enough for a chair but I keep tripping up because I can't sense the floor so I decided to get a chair to stop that while I'm out
I've been using a cane for a while now for an injury but recently I've gotten extreme joint and muscle pain I'm being tested for (like I'm talking my leg will cramp and give out making me fall) and boy I'm glad I have that cane, tbh I would look into a Walker or a wheelchair but first I want to get a diagnosis just in case
I always think it's kinda funny when other people with disabilities say ableist things about others faking something lol we of all people should know better... 😂😅❤️ We are all different and nobody's disabling thing is the exact same as another's.
i thought i had gotten over internalized ableism til i started looking for aids. my illness (POTS) only benefits from things with seats, so despite having a moderate case (i havent been hospitalized by it like in severe cases but i still definitely have it), i would still be able to live better with part time use of a chair and/or rollator. but ive been conditioned to think that i need to spend every second of every day pushing myself and working on endurance and feel bad for just wanting to be comfortable and wanting to enjoy myself a bit more, because i know other people have it worse.
It’s so difficult isn’t it, to uninstall years of conditioning?! We need to stop measuring ourselves against anyone else and just think of something will help - easier said than done I know! But I’m here for you 💪 You can do it!
If only people could think how important it is just to be able to do with less pain. The able bodied are allowed to go for a relaxing walk or go windows shopping without everything being a push or a challenge, yet we deny ourself that. I also see you doing something I always do, namely downplaying your situation as others have it worse. It's a good attitude a lot of the time to see the positives, but as my bf says, "that may be so but what you are going through still sux" we can support others and still be allowed to feel for what we have lost. So go for it, give back your own ability to just browse and focus on enjoying life not just fighting.
With my legs getting worse, I've been looking into getting an aid. My mom is honestly supporting me, which is is making it easier.
I haven't decided on one yet, but I know I need one. I've been in pain for too long now, to say I don't need one, because I've already noticed that a service dog helps me, with my other disabilities. I've ignored it until my hips started hurting almost every time I walked, I also fall occasionally, and I'm worried that as this gets worse that I will keep falling.
I might try a cane/walking stick first, but my dog has a problem with sticks. My mom also has a walker that I can try. If my doctor recommends a wheelchair, I will use it.
It sounds like using some kind of mobility aid would really help you so I'm glad that you're speaking to your doctor to get advice. Falling is especially worrying and I hope they take it seriously. Let me know what route you go down - good luck!!
This video was so interesting! I recently started using a wheelchair after an injury, but realised it had a really positive impact on my quality of life and ability to do things and it is so freeing. Currently i use a manual wheelchair from a mobility store, however I'm looking into/trying to get referred to get a proper fitting chair as that would make me have less barriers.
Your points about internalised ableism were so important, it can be so hard to combat the voice that says you don't need a chair, but a friend told me 'if you are thinking of getting a wheelchair in the first place, you almost definitely need it' and that helps me.
I think the medical profession are worried that once in a wheelchair we will get lazy/complacent and stop trying to walk or keep strong. And that leaks into our own thoughts. But although that may very well be true for some people it’s not everyone. Just like using a car doesn’t stop everyone from keeping active, walking, jogging etc I hope you get fitted for a chair soon as it really changed my life FND increased my independence as it was so much lighter to push. Check out my Wheelchair Tag video where I talk a lot about the chair.
It’s totally worth the money!
Thank you for watching 🥰
@@SearchForSilverLinings I very much agree. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and when I told my doctor I was thinking about needing a wheelchair she was very opposed to it and was very concerned that I would become lazy or not exercise. Although my illness may be limiting it somewhat, I still exercise as much as I can despite eventually getting that wheelchair. Goes to show how many doctors automatically assume how you will just give up on your health after getting a little help.
The ableism part of self doubting yourself is so relatable and true to me.
I think its because I'm so new to this disability I have. I grew up only getting and feeling sick once or twice a year.
And the only time I went to the hospital was to either get a yearly physical, injury, or to visit someone else.
So to go from someone who was rarely sick to someone who feels sick almost on a daily basis and multiple ER and hospital visits in a year than I ever have had in my entire life has been very overwhelming for me.
I see different multiple doctors now. Most times I have multiple doctors visits in a month/ week.
My life has changed so much in the last two years, I barely even recognize myself.
I so desperately want to return back to the me that was rarely sick but at the same time I'm working on accepting my new reality.
I now use mobility aids like my cane and my rollator walker which I'm thankful to have. Man life with a disability is challenging but I'm getting through it. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy though.
I love the little saying you mentioned from your grandmother. It works so well in so many different ways - whether it is someone being nosey, internalised ableism or just in general with bigoted views or misinformation. As someone who has been umming and aahing about 'being disabled enough' for years now wondering whether to get a walking stick, having people like yourself saying things like "if it works, if it helps, use it" really is a confidence boost.
Oh she would be so happy to know that her advice is still helping people! I'm glad you feel a little more confident it really is just a matter of getting your head around it at first, the rest comes after! Keep going! Do you follow me on instagram? I talk about this stuff all the time!
As a chronic pain sufferer l can relate very well to your views. An excellent video with honest views and experiences. Thank you for this information.
I’m so glad it has helped in some small way. Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment. 🙂
Thank you so much. I actually don't even know the reason yet behind my declining mobility (Although I heavily suspect EDS and am being screened for it soon). I'm 31 and have been avoiding getting a chair for the last several years because I thought if I could just push past the pain I should -seeing as I didn't have a diagnosis. Big mistake. Thank you for helping me embrace this useful tool 🌻💜
I’m so glad! Personally, pushing past my own pain limits has caused additional problems with a mind-body disconnect so I’m glad you are able to listen to yours 👏💪🥰
Omg I felt like I wrote this comment myself…I am in the EXACT SAME boat, except so bought a power chair back in 2019, but have rarely used it because I felt the same way; I can walk, so I should. I can push past my pain, and I think part of it was me thinking, “if I keep pushing past the pain, then one day I may not have pain!” and I think I thought that in making the decision to consistently use my chair, meant I was “giving up,” or even worse, accepting that I have a disability.
So much internalised ableism we have to unpick so that we can just use the tools we need. It’s so wrong and so sad. And ultimately, so dangerous imo. No one says it’s giving up to use reading glasses do they 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you so much for this. I'm about to have a wheelchair seating and am going through all the emotions you just mentioned. I use a rollator but sometimes I get stranded with it as in suddenly run out of energy before I get back to my vehicle.
I've been using a cane for a few months now, but I recently purchased a rollator walker because I need to sit often while I'm out due to my chronic fatigue, pain, shortness of breath and bouts of fainting spells. I have been seriously thinking and researching electronic wheelchairs because I think I would like to have one in the near future. Just for days when my fatigue and pain is too much to physically push my rollator. It would be a great alternative to have a electric wheelchair on the super bad days. But that's just a idea for now. Great video btw.
Thanks for posting this !!! I have recently had to use crutches and have bought a wheelchair which I hope Will help for days when fatigue wins as someone can push me and other days get to go further than crutches allow .I am having a mental fight over the 'ableism ' glad to have a name for the battles in my mind!!😍
I’m glad and I hope it helps to fight against the internal ableism and you get to enjoy far more days out 💪🥰
I have just been diagnosed with FND, and use mobility aids, sticks, walkser and weheelchair
I’m thinking of getting a cane to help me on bad days but I feel guilt using it as I still go on hikes and nature walks and can manage un-aid but it will help me I think in town I can lean against it so I don’t have to sit down every 30 mins. It will also help me in labs at uni as a visual cue that I need to sit down and can’t really stand up as long as everyone else
It can be really hard to undo the conditioning we’ve experienced and come to see aids like walking sticks or canes as simply things to help. So many physical disabilities aren’t static but fluctuate and if a cane helps you in some situations but is unnecessary in others then using it when it helps makes total sense. It’s only society that tells us it doesn’t. Some people wear glasses all the time, other people only wear them for certain activities and yet we don’t condemn those for wearing glasses occasionally, or call them fakers. I understand how you might feel guilty but try and let that feeling wash away. It’s not needed. You deserve to be helped. You deserve the best this world has to offer 🥰
Love seeing the internet being used to spread such positivity and invaluable information to those who can really use it! Fantastic video.
Thank you!
I really needed to see this video, thank you 💜
I’m so glad it helped you! 🥰
@@SearchForSilverLinings aww thank you! You’re amazing 😻💜
Yea I've used a cane for awhile now and it's fun and cool and it worked with my renaissance faire outfit and people think it's neat but still ask questions. Recently I've been thinking maybe I should get a rollator for when I'm doing really bad and need something to support, sit and possibly wheel around while sitting especially when I'm pregnant and have huge fall risk.... But I'm scared of that so I decided to get some forearm crutches first because usually it's one leg that is worse than the other so I ordered some cute crutches... Still nervous about ever using them... but also really excited to get them because I feel like they will help more than my cane does on bad days. They are a favorite color too. My brain tells me "you're not disabled, more exercise and power through it you got this" but if I do that typically I just hurt myself further but it's still so hard to break out of that mindset of "fixing" it when I could be modifying how I do things so that I don't make it worse. I'm not unfit because of my issues but my brain tells me if I don't push onward I will be. It's very frustrating because pushing myself too hard is how we made it worse in the first place
There’s a lot to undo when it comes to incorrect programming, it sounds like you’re working on it though and my best tip would be to listen to your body. If it feels strong enough one day then fine, if if tells you it needs more support on another day then try to listen to it. It doesn’t mean it’s fixed like that. 💪👯♀️🥰
Thank you so much for this wonderful video!
You are so welcome!
I appreciate this video, as i do struggle with my internalised abelism. As i have multiple auto immune disorders my day to day and minute by minute can be vastly different.
I am very overweight, but i have been for over 30 years, but have only had to be dealing with actual disability for a couple of years since my most recent auto immunes joined the family. I get so frustrated when i hear people judging my disability being due to my weight. I want to throw my rollator (my scooter is too heavy) at them and ask why i could walk fine for the last 28 years whilst also fat. Grrr.
I definately was worried before finally getting my first walker which led to seeking a scooter as well. But by golly the independance i have regained to be out and about more than compensates for any percieved stigma.
Urgh! People and their narrow mindedness 🤦🏻♀️ I’m so glad you’re finding your confidence with your mobility aids, time definitely helps doesn’t it 💪💞
@@SearchForSilverLinings indeed. But once I broke the first barrier it became easier. I would encourage anyone hesitating to embrace it. In fact it is only because I have increased my outside mobility that I can now get to the pool to exercise, so mobility will lead to Increased strength and mobility. Plus fresh air is essential for wellbeing
Thank you I've lost all sensation in my legs and I felt like I wasn't disabled enough for a chair but I keep tripping up because I can't sense the floor so I decided to get a chair to stop that while I'm out
That sounds like a great idea! 💪
I've been using a cane for a while now for an injury but recently I've gotten extreme joint and muscle pain I'm being tested for (like I'm talking my leg will cramp and give out making me fall) and boy I'm glad I have that cane, tbh I would look into a Walker or a wheelchair but first I want to get a diagnosis just in case
Pls don’t fall I fell as my leg was very weak and I broke my hip
@@Michelle-qd9gm yea I actually have a wheelchair now cause I started fainting as well, and it dislocated my knee
@@uwubro8911 nice to hear it anything that can help you 🙏😊
Oh man! You need whatever you need, to keep you safe! 💞
Oh I’m so sorry 😞
Per chance a petrol-powered wheelchair is in order. Cheers!
I always think it's kinda funny when other people with disabilities say ableist things about others faking something lol we of all people should know better... 😂😅❤️ We are all different and nobody's disabling thing is the exact same as another's.
Exactly!! 👏
That is how I feel. But getting them is a problem on my budget and needs.
I hope you’ve managed to get what you need 💞
Golf carts are mobility aids.