Bertcast # 475 - Chris Distefano, Don DiPetta & ME
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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
- Today, I sit down with comedians Chris Distefano and Don DiPetta. We talk about TiTi Jerry, polar plunges, family time, history, Andrew Schulz, The Paul brothers, and much more!
Follow Chris Distefano Here:
Instagram - / chrisdcomedy
Twitter - / chrisdcomedy
Website - www.chrisdcome...
Follow Don Here:
Instagram - / donnietsunami7
Twitter - / don_dipetta
Website - www.dondipetta...
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Bert explaining how he was gone for two weeks while holding up 3 fingers, realizing it and lowering one finger, THEN repeats how he was gone for two weeks and holds 3 fingers up again😂 Welcome back Bert!
Beeeert, i miss the cooking show. You have to bring it back!
Berts gonna be the first comedian to be canceled by his own kids, no wonder he doesn’t wanna be home ever 🤣
I love Chrissy but when you put him on Bert's podcast with a second guest you can bet your ass the second guest isnt going to get a word in. Poor Don lol. Great podcast between Bert and Chris though
Don talking about how broke he is, whilst Berts justifies his "you may as well fly first class" dilemma. Read the room!
then toasts to just Distef at the end haha
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@@AgendaInMind uh, did you have a stroke dude?
Fatboy Diesel 😂😂
*Bert passing the wine*
Chrissy Curiosity: "Anybody got any allergy medication?" 😂😂
we all know what happens when he has an antihistamine and some liquor
🍆🍆🍆
He gonna come see you in a different way
Leann looks FANTASTIC! Honestly, she looks so amazing!
Bert woke on headdresses with a framed poster of him in a headdress in the background. Love it!
Then says it’s cultural appropriation. Which means he’s just virtue signaling
Or maybe he was being a comic, you know portraying himself as a strong warrior chief to a community that would understand the absurdity, kinda like every other framed item surrounding that poster? He isn't appropritaing it, he is clearly specifically making a spectacle of himself in the local style, as he is doing with all of the others.
He explained in his first podcast in the new studio that the poster is alright since it's a Mexican Warrior and not Native American 🤦.
I said “oh my god” out loud, alone and in awe, when Leann came in.
Hahahaha so true
Thought he pulled a Garth on her
Why?
I was surprised as well, like damn she could get it. Cheers Kreischer family!
I was like damn she looks hot
He loved saying "i tripped while acting" lol
So the least corrupt countries who held their citizens hostage for the shortest amount of time had the lowest Boogey Virus rates. Of course.... because people don’t get sick from germs, they get sick from being scared and upset about something that happened in their lives. Enter the worldwide FEAR CAMPAIGN. The Germ Theory was never actually proven to be 100% accurate, yet the trillion dollar medical industry is entirely based on that theory. What's the CAUSE of death in people with this "virus"? Does their brain explode? Does their heart stop beating? The CAUSE of death is still pneumonia. Pneumonia is not something you can "catch". It's a biological result of being "scared to death" of something which is exactly what the media has done to people dumb enough to watch them. You've heard the term "Worried sick". That's because your BRAIN causes you to become sick due to the stress it is perceiving! Why do you think young kids aren't getting the Boogey Virus? Because they aren't sitting in front of the news being scared to death because they're too young to understand a Fear Campaign.
These pathetic "experts" just make shit it up to explain their narrative as they go. First they tell you kids bring home every illness from school because they're not "exposed" to enough things, then they say somehow they're immune to a Boogey Virus? Does anyone have common sense?! You don't show the symptoms of "disease" until you stop being panicked and afraid. These symptoms usually show up 1-2 weeks after you've relaxed and resolved the upsetting event. There's no such thing that some diseases you can "catch", but not all. It's not that complex! If you can't "catch" cancer, diabetes, MS, arthritis, etc., from other people, then you can't "catch" colds, flu and Boogey Viruses. So governments around the world are CAUSING fear frights in everyone based on an unproven THEORY by one man, Louis Pastaur, who redacted his claim of the germ theory on his death bed, yet no one listened. So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the Boogey Virus, that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and believe they then have it, and more panic will ensue as well as martial law. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Can anyone put 2 and 2 together to figure out what I'm saying?? Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it. There's no critical thinking anymore. People think they're educated because they've memorized the lies they've been told for 100 years.
@@AgendaInMind hey buddy, smoke this joint and go look at a tree, anything else than what you’re doing
@@AgendaInMind what?
@@AgendaInMind you just said absolutely nothing
@@AgendaInMind You need to realize even if you have a valid point, you need to restructure it and make it more legible. You were pretty scatter brained in your approach. It's hard to connect the dots.
I love how Chrissy calls Tom, Tommy.
Chrissy Chaos & the guy who gave Santino Covie-wovie! YAAAASSSS!
“Askren’s gonna win. Watch the tape, tell me different.”
Narrator: *He didn’t.* 😆
Chris's face after Bert let's the allergy medication slip drop!!🤔
😂🤣😂
Bert is starting to ride his horse REALLY high!! Gotta say Chris is just a Beast and Don seems chill wish Bert worked him into the podcast.
Ive never ever ever ever anticipated a movie more in my life bert congratulations on absolutely everything
make no mistake cuz chrissy podcasts stays being funny
Comfy wumfy
Dasss it !!!!
OH MY GOD LEEANN! ❤️ Are those the only seconds we get to see her all made up like that?
Sending you lots of good thoughts and energy for Thursday! You've got this. Thanks for always making us smile. - Also, LeaAnn is looking gorgeous! ❤
000
000
P
Digging the styles. RUSH👑
YOURE AN FF! LOVE YA BABES
After watching this episode I wish Bert and Chris would form their own podcast together
Chris does so well with many! Love his personality
Loved this episode. Love you and Chrissy and ready for some future don
Hey Bert make sure you ask your doctor and your anesthesiologist for a nerve block so when you wake up you feel nothing on your left side I had 2 shoulder surgeries that thing helps so much
One of those episodes where Bert should’ve just said w/ Chrissy Chaos lol
Intro the the podcast. Bert saying "I don't listen I fix things". Half way through Bert saying he really listen. Haha!!! What a hype man
Chrissy D. hit the nail on the head. We people who get up and go to work every day and live semi regular lives are fans. We love you guys and don't care about the bullshit.
"I have a list of goals".
Is one of them going back to 2 Bears 1 Cave before 2022?
For real......I never want to see Nikki or Schaub again 🤮
Did you even watch the intro
@@richeeezgaming6929 It’s called sarcasm dude. We all know he was gone for 3 months, they said it a million times. But somehow he banked tons of episodes for Bertcast and fuck all for 2B1C, which is by far the moneymaker.
Bert you'll be fine, my last surgery and my only surgery was 17.5 hours. Not to mention I had around a 10% chance to survive and I woke up 132 days later.
Prayer for Brent's tendies 🙏
Ive sure missed u on 2 Bears 1 Cave,get well soon Brett
Congratulations Bert. Truly earned
Congrats Bert Even though I've only been a fan of you since the pandemic started I can honestly say you are A cool fucking Guy
At the very least…king of the Cool Guy Club
im in the same shoes as you and him crissy and bobby lee are my favorite comics
You should check out 2 bears one cave that's bert and Tom segura..... and also bert and Bill burr have a podcast
The talk about death and feeling crazy hit at home. You are an American treasure my friend. I am so excited for the movie.
12:36 if you wanna jump right in.
GOD BLESS BERT, there's power in prayer. please keep him in your prayers and thoughts!
Distefano laughs like the butler in scooby doo and the boo brothers
You deserve all your success and recognition. Sending prayers your way !!
Congratulations on the variety award brother. Much deserved 👏
Nice to berts awesome variety of pictures on the wall
U got this Bert!! Sending good Vibes your way!!
Thank you so much man. Your Content makes the day better.
Only Bert could ruin the sustainability idea of liquid death. Use a cup while at home hahahhahaha
Always love these health tips from Bart,America's Sweetheart Alcoholic 🇺🇲💗
Kharma came for you trying to help put Toms arm back 😂 you'll be all good Bert!!!
Bert: “I don’t think I could wear a head-dress, that would be so racist”
Right behind Bert: picture of him dressed up like an Indian with a head-dress
Proud of you Bert you never gave up on you and your wife is a testament to a good woman !!!! all love from Jupiter Fla
Bert makes me realize I lived my life wrong.
The allergy meds comment 😂 Chrissy kills me
Yessssssss I’m. Telllin ya Bert Chris is it home runs out here he makes everything way more funny when he puts his chaos spin on it lol can’t wait to listen to this one
Wishing you all the best for the surgery Bert, will be thinking of you and hope your anxiety is manageable!
LOVE YOU BERT from one severe anxiety suffrrer to another ❤💪❤💪
You got this Bert!
You're a great man Bert.. That's all that needs to be said
Hell yea Stewart Huff shoutout!
the TRUTH!! Name me 3 better doing it... I'll wait
Don't know Don, But I loved the episode, I hope to see him in other things :D
You wake up from anesthesia feeling like shit lmao
You gave Chris your Phone.... Your going to regret that move Bruce.
Only took 2 mins, including the tour announcement, to compare his "injury" and surgery to Tom's.
Ya love to see it.
@@notmychairnotmyprblm why we are here
@@lCurbstomp 100%
We love ya Bert, congrats on the award.
Never heard of Don until watching this, but I can get down with his style... observer until having something straight to the point to say... I dig it! Plus, he plugged a dude that I'm sure not many of your fans know of (Dale Jones). Dale MURDERS rooms, with nothing but clean, one-liners. Compared to Nate and Jim, I'd say Dale has the lock on keeping the laughs rolling, non-stop, with clean comedy... hands down!!
my guy!
Bro u did us proud by winning this award ...u win we all win. Good luck Thursday Berty boy
I went “holy shit Leanne 😍” she does look like a fucking million bucks, absolutely fucking gorgeous! And love how he hypes her up lol
Lol me as well, he’s lucky guy, her personality is soooo attractive to!
Your very gorgeous/pretty too!!!
We knew she was outta Berts league before. Now I’m questioning if they’re even the same species!!
Good on ya Leanne! Lookin great!
cant do nothing BUT love chrissy tea bags!! ima 2009 white too bruh lol
LeAnn smokin! 🙌 Congrats Bert
Bert and Chris need to do a history podcast
1:04:54 As a picture of Bert in a Aztec headdress sits behind him he talks about cultural appropriation. “Just a heads up” Burnt Chrysler 😂
Bert: "We were gone for two weeks"
Also Bert: *holds up three fingers*
Anyone else catch Chrissy throw back joke when he got his wine 🍷? When he asked for allergy meds. Somethings burning episode
He wanted to say it again but they didn't bite haha
If you're coming to Boston you should add a MGM or Mohegan show Bert!!!
I feel ya Burt, Totally understand being able to fix problems but not listen to a long, drawn out story about them. Great episode! Thumbs UP!
Happy 4th o July Three and o half later 😜 love you guys! 😘
Amazing Guest, just started and KNOW it will be great!
"I got you Bret..Bart...Bert, I got you Bert" -God
Bart is the kinda guy who says "two weeks" in a conversation and shows three fingers
CHRISSY CHAOS HEEEEEYYYYY BABE! BERT, BERT, BERT!
Missed the bleep boys. $15k jet ski it is. Damn Bart
There’s bald eagles in Florida Bert lmfao
Distenfano is funny as hell, wish there was more of his stand up out there to watch.
Bart will be so nervous for surgery he will walk in the hospital slapping down Tito's and soda in his giant Kool Aid cup & dragging a to scale cross. Take a breath Bret, God loves you
Chrissy Chaos!! Yas queen
Noticed you’re staying a while in Denver! Cheers! If you want the absolute hidden, possibly illegal Red Rocks Spot, I’ll show ya! We’ve taken our kids so many timea
“History” repeats itself in this podcast .
Alarm set my dude🙏
Honestly would LOVEEEEEE TO SEE YOU ON IMPAULSIVE !! PLEASE MAKE IT HAPPEN
Bert, the best comebacks only come if you listen. Planning what you will say next and not paying attention to the speaker will make the conversation fall flat. Huge fan.
You missed a couple bangers from Crissy Comebacks there.
Just listen
🙄 Now I'm that guy
I have never seen a Podcast with Christina D where hes not bringing up being a physical therapist🤣 I feel like you could say I went to catch for dinner last night and the next thing out of his mouth would be "did you know I was once a physical therapist"
We love you Bert ❤️
Do some shows in Albuquerque, please.
Bert kreischer = BK. BK = Burger King and Burger King is awesome. Thanks Bert.
Coming to Bethlehem, Pa! Live right by there
We love Bert!
Burt Chrysler, I just want you to know the only reason why I watch your podcast is to check if my favourite (but very racist) male comedian has passed away so I can swoop in and take care of Lee Anne.
jo bert, dont forget about your boy drew, he also insisted on u making the machine story you big thing!
The guy who gave Santino COVID and stained Bart's carpet.
I would've liked to have heard a little bit of Don's story. Sounded like he had an interesting background story and is now living the struggling up and comer comic lifestyle that Bert loves to talk endlessly about. If only Bert would've let him get more then a sentence out. That's why the title has " ME" capitalized in it.
Coming to my home town Green Bay! Can’t wait to see ya. Getting a sitter for the baby and we’ll be there.
Bert-NEVER QUIT! Cue the music to his cooking podcast....
Getting me and my wife tickets to the STL show🥳💪🔥👌
I’ll be the guy there thats happy and smells like weed. Say high if you see me!
I also use my MANSCAPE ON MY BEARD AND STASH..
Homie was way off on that Askren vs Paul prediction!!!
Chrissy D starting strong chasing that liquid death sponsorship
Bart's meaning of obsessed is anything he has Google searched, or something he has heard of twice. TikTok much COOL GUY
Have them build you a kitchen at Go Big and film something's burning with the panel of judges.
Prob won’t see this but congrats Bert. Good luck on the surgery and the rehab
Can u ask ya wife back on, I need to ask her to blink twice if she's in distress 🙈😂😂