High-range narcissists (watch out for them!)
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- Опубліковано 12 жов 2021
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Being in a relationship with these type of people is like being in a chess game with a chess master when you don’t know chess
Yeah, see this is why I'd refuse to play. The game only exists in their own head anyway, so I couldn't possibly win. (not that I'd want to anyway. No point. It's just sad.)
... except I knew chess very well 🤪 so the joke is on her npd a*s.. 🤡
Thanks for being 10 moves (steps) ahead! Awesome comment!
And it's five dimensional chess. Imagine being a child against someone of this magnitude. You stand no chance
I'd rather say it's like playing chess with a spoiled kid who doesn't want to learn the rules or play by the rules and who keep making his own rules as the game advances.
And if by any chance you manage to make a good move, they throw a tantrum, yell, and throw the chessboard across the room.
It's not even a matter of winning or not, you can't play !
So, don't.
When I was a lad, our family would be having supper around the table. At times, I would look up to see an expression of absolute hate and contempt on my mother's face directed to me. She would be absolutely frozen. Then, she'd suddenly throw a drink across the table into my face. Her beatings, slappings, fingernail gouges began when I was age four and continued until I was too big. After that, she resorted to the soul-killing insult. The people who "saw" always said I was a kind and sensitive person. I've spent six decades trying to convince myself that my mother was simply mentally ill or something. Not anymore. I now consider her to have been an evil person. No more excuses for her. But if I said this to any outsider who was acquainted with her, they'd be shocked that I could disrespect such a wonderful person!
She had them deceived; which compounds the evil. The life of an empath can be very, very lonely. But Doctor Ramani understands! Thanks so much to her!
Bradley, you didn't deserve that then - nor the memories of it now. Speaking for myself (and many others, no doubt) I want you to know that your experience is understood, and your pain felt. The wounds our inner children bear are inflicted from outside of us and don't come from within. From my grown up heart to yours, you were amazing, you are amazing, and will continue to be amazing. 💖🤗🙏
My experience growing up with my mother was very similar to yours. Nevertheless someone being severely mentally ill is not an excuse but a tragic reality unfortunately. These people are unable to perceive the world any other way.
It hurts me from the bottom of my heart that you were so massively abused from childhood. This is absolute insanity that your biological mother has caused to behave this way. Instead be good to your "inner child" and feel embraced!
Wow I don’t remember you being my brother but apparently you ate at the same dinner table I was dinning. !I can say is it truly was not our fault back then- now I just want to figure out how not to employ others to replace her in my life that would be grand and anytime I have tried a relationship with this person she mom [head vampire] has reminded me exactly who she is and why I live 3000 miles away from her. Thank you yes for you & Dr.R + her team & this community I pray for safety, inner peace and love for you her & the-collective we . Live well & prosper Best defense we can do best strategy we can have now just to release the resistance to allow that to happen bless our soul up on this journey. Thank you for you
@Bradley Mosman what an incredible survival strength you have... I bear witness to the horrific way your own mother inflicted pain and wrongfully abused you as a child, I bear witness to the unspeakable grief you now have trying to unravel it all. You did nothing to deserve physical, psychological and emotional abuse to the slaying of your soul. Evil is the only word for that kind, your very presence of purity enraged her - not your fault. You are loved and were created for such a time as this, your truth will help many.
My ex was exactly like this. Something people often don't realise is just how long it takes to recover. People expect you to just walk away and pick up your life the next day, but it takes many, many years.
@ Kay McIntyre Spot on! It takes a LONG time. (But I'm hoping it won't take a lifetime. I'd love a few good years before I kick.)
I discovered at 54 and have been educating myself as well as therapy. I am 62 now and still healing and still getting rid of them! They are everywhere.
It does often take many years....very understandable
YES! It's been a lifelong project for me. I'm 74. 🌼😊🌼
I understand so much...long time
The last night I saw my ex was the third (and most severe domestic violence incident). My ex had a Google Nest camera in our living room. I was never allowed access. His big rage triggers were when I went out with friends. One night, after having drinks with my best friend and cousin, I came home with my "Grey Rock" game face on. After gently talking to him while he raged at me, I stood up from the couch and he attacked me....Needless to say, grey-rocking went out the window. I said "F*ck you! It's all on camera" I pointed up to the camera...and it was GONE. It was like something out of a thriller movie. He had taken it down before I got home. This was when I could confirm that his actions were not just impulsive...they were calculated.
Wow that’s scary
Horrendous. I absolutely can imagine it. These people are absolutely terrifying
I like the word in your first sentence "ex". Bravo for removing evil.
Whoa that sounds scary!
It's really great that you were able to remove yourself from hell. I hear stories about guys who remain in abusive relationships, stuggling so much with their own self-esteem that they cannot imagine themselves as being able to function on their own in the world outside of such relationships.
I'm curious, but don't feel you have to answer - would you describe your ex as masculine (or "str8 acting")?
Also, have there been any attempts on his part to hoover you?
Are you kidding? A thumbs up, Dr. Ramani? You deserve a crown! A Nobel Peace prize!!! A shrine!!! 😊 💓💓💓
Whoa there. No lovebombing! I agree, though
Ralph 😂
I agree with this
My apologies for my not discreet remark. Are those hand crafted clay creations behind doc Ramani elephants? They look so cute. I dare to ask because they caught my eye from day one but I was afraid of asking… 🐵 then the monkey inside me kicked out.. just curious
Well thank you ALSO for the settings, the background. It makes me feel at peace with myself, at home. It is not a small detail. This Lady is doing a wonderful job for so many people. She is so precious to so many souls.
Ya, the narcs and psychos would put her life in danger if she got that kind of high level attention. She’s exposing their playbook. I seriously hope she is considering personal security. It would not surprise me in the least if she has already been warned and had her life threatened. In fact, I think she already eluded to this in a previous video when she talked about the resistance by mental health professionals to talk about this more openly and bring more attention to it. I really love Dr R.
I went out twice with a new guy. I didn't like him right away he was negative and cynical. When I talked about my job he made a statement about my part time status and tried to tell me what I should do. The one thing I did notice was even though I didn't enjoy his company yet there was a weird magnetic pull almost like a hypnotic trance. I wouldn't kiss him but he insisted on giving me a peck. There were miniscule boundry breaks. I went out with him the second time and I saw more boundry breaks and odd little punishing behaviors. If you are out with a guy and you know you don't like him but there's a force you can't explain. Then get out.
The very first impression I have of such types of people (applies to both sexes, regardless of age) is that they disgust me for some reason. They can still look so well-groomed and smart. But something about their demeanor disgusts me in the very first microsecond. Often I would scold myself inwardly about my very first defense. And in retrospect, I'm annoyed why I didn't go with my instincts right away. Because if you act out of instinct right from the start, they usually don't go after you unless you get caught in their net out of decency.
@@frau_ic Well written, I was going to beat myself up for going on date 2 and talking to on the phone in between but I figured it out and exited quickly and gracefully.
But you went out with him a second time ?
@@chayo4537 Yep, I'm not sure why but I did hear my brain making excuses for the red flags. I guess it took 2 date get a grip and acknowledge what I knew the first date. I figure it's progress lol !
@@chayo4537 I also realize now the true force of these monsters. Anybody is susceptible but wisdom gives you the discernment.
This was definitely my father. Our house was characterized by fear. Emotional survival growing up meant constant vigilance navigating control and manipulation and not setting off the landmines that led to fits of rage, belittling, and violence (although sometimes I would egg them on when I got a little older, like in my teens. I don't really know why). In adulthood, it has been a struggle to learn how to be authentic. My heart goes out to anyone actively living through this.
I believe in you. This video was so heavy for me. Their ability to manipulate is so insane it can be difficult to be present for me .
Same. Thank you for articulating this clearly. It's hard to unlearn the misguided behavior. We learned through osmosis growing up. I'm thankful for #Dr.Ramani & this channel
I believe you will find the authenticity you crave
My father was that way and my mother was passive aggressive and still is. Both of my siblings and I married 3 times and my parents NEVER took responsibility for the way they raised us. Friends so petrified they wouldn’t come to our house. All 3 of us were out by age 17. All girls and horribly treated. Have a difficult time to this day visiting them or engaging at all anymore.
this sound like my house and my dad was a preacher.
The malignant narcissist I know is so full of hatred that I swear she has to have a demon in her! These things are very scary!
I've always thought same about the ones I know, they're demons! My parents and older sister are demons! I've often wondered if it's spiritual warfare. I am complete opposite of them in every single way. I'm very spiritual, caring and empathic wanting to do good and help others and fulfill my purpose while here. I feel they are trying to dampen my light or possibly obliterate me. I feel so awakened now, they can't touch me now. My lights gonna shine so bright. Life has begun for me.
@@snowstormonsat your exactly right, I believe it's a spiritual warfare as well! Let your light shine!
You’re not alone in that concern. Yes, their behavior is demonic.
I thought this too. The power-tripping made me feel like my mother was riding some dark presence.
The only time I've ever used the word demonic in my entire life is related to my experience with narcissism. It's the only fitting definition.
That's so fascinating to me and SO true that narcs absolutely treat you well or mistreat you based on how useful you are
They entitle and enlist many to serve them on their level of appearing useful.
Its often why they have a monarchy position among narcissists and enabler networks.
Others fly below the radar, they are more covert because they don't want lower order types to pick-up on their game.
Ie. The loan silent hunter type, a description that sometimes even fits as being their worst adversary.
Narcs on any spectrum sometime select the wrong target. Biting off more than they can chew. Stuborn people that serve poorly as source supply. You can understand how that might annoy them. ✌
yup!
YES
@Sara Fox Exactly
they'll be nice when they want money then get the money or the favor and turn on you, i get why they would turn down the charm after getting what they want but why are they turning on me? it seems criminal, narcissism is like a moral crime at least
The rage is terrifying. 💯
Rage unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
Yes, that too for non issue and trifles. They punch multiple times for a trifle like there was less salt in food, or why you asked for basic respect of informing when they cancelled a plan with you, or for crying at being subject to silent treatment or plainly for nothing, because they simply choose to abuse. I 'm glad I figured one out before a planned engagement and escaped, had several family members support the decision.
But there are a few low to mid range narcissists I am related to and have to manoeuvre around their irrationalities and mood swings. On the other hand there are a few empaths and sensitives in my life who see me for who I am and totally get narcissistic abuse. Couldn't be more grateful for this goodness in life.
Ugh yes. It's extreme....and I am diagnosed with bipolar....
The ex-narcissist in my life even said it's good when people are afraid of him...with a certain smirk in his face. He confused it with respect....
Ex always said it was better for people to fear you than love you. Yikes! Glad we're out of there.
They like others to fear them because they see that as them having a magical power. They feel like power-kings when people fear them. They are power-hungry/mad/ill.
Ohhhh…that SMIRK….
It used to make my stomach turn to acid.
A family narcissist once told me that when you mistreat your children they "love you more", the same as when you kick a dog (and the dog just "loves you more"). He said it with a pleased smirk as well.
@@cacatr4495 I think there is something irrational about it. When others respond with shock and fear they feel they have superhuman power. (Which they find very therapeutic. Perhaps it makes them feel invulnerable.)
Machiavellian, cruel, and sadistic... That was my experience with this type. I still have flashbacks (PTSD) from it.
Julie Bugeia,You got a lovely smile dear
You have described my “ Mommy Dearest” to a T. In fact, when I was a kid, the closest explanation for her behaviour was the movie “ The exorcist”. The rage, the black eyes, the demonic low guttural tone in her voice as she uttered the words “ YOU WILL!” scared the hell out of me as a kid. She parented through fear and ultimatums yet outside of the home she was seen as wonderful and engaging. We watched my Dad become a shell of himself through her coercive control.
Yes. My mom too. Terror and ptsd. Horrible
OMG, so sorry to hear that. What a nightmare you must have lived!
Wow! P White, you and me must have had the same mother. How could there be TWO people capable of such evil?
Same here. No remorse for anything, ever. Even when asked. Psychopathy, for sure. She beat up pupils at school, myself, animals a.s.o. very destructive for my father. I decided that she will NOT destroy my life. Got out at 18 y.o.
The eyes...
Just knowing these people exist and are actual humans sends shivers down my spine...
and when its your mother. Yeahhhh.. And then when said 'mother' gets like, elderly, and all the 'admirers' of her fake self start coming out of the woodwork and start questioning you about why you are not catering to her every need and whim "because its your duty and she is getting old now" - Insert freaked out emoji face here - and youre like whaddya mean she was a psychopath all this time!! and theyre like "what Saint Sacha?? Hardly. you ought to be ashamed of saying that" and on and on it goes. Relief - even if partial well you must relieve yourself from such binfdng ties...and some peace for yourself somehow. Truly can make you go mad if you do not build up and equip yourself with knowledge and unrelenting self-care, self love
@@oppressednolonger1497 yeah this is a situation I've always feared when I was still talking to my father. I'm glad I won't have to deal with this myself... I wish you the best, lots of strenght and the best of luck, you'll need it!
Or are they? Sometimes i wonder.
If you are ever to know one in a future life, be sure it's not your mother.
Yes! Speak out every chance you get they terrify us into submissive silence. We are panicked and on edge literally afraid for our lives due to private cruelty, then they charm the pants off your loved ones by telling them we are "acting unstable because they didn't say our dress looked nice" (or something equally trivial). Escape for your lives, no matter who you lose in the fallout, don't utterly lose yourself.
Isn’t that the sign of a coward? Private cruelty. Yep.
Too late.
Children are ' hostages '
No escaping my situation. Currently not financially stable nor have a space rocket of my own.
Funny how abusers these kind hold so much money. Bigger the bank account worst the person I've noticed in our society currently.
However, rather still have my dog. As selfish as that sounds. Miss him greatly.
No escaping a society that has enabled this narcissistic abuse to balloon to Epidemic portions.
I simply moved to planning my funeral and euthanasia transition on focus.
You can't change others you can be realistic about life, death and circumstances. Eventually with that approach you stop having places to escape to.
Have no fear of this kind anymore just sick of the shit and justifications the excuses society drums up to keep enabling it. Tired of the number of people these types destroy and harm.
Overall sick of the shit. Not running they can go screw up lives on another planet blow themselves there especially for profit. They can go. We have NASA we won't miss your types....
Go. And kindly, don't write.
Would be my ideal outcome in dealing with this crap. 🚀🚀✋🏽💥
Won't be missed at all. Still realistic might be my ideal choice won't actually happen.
If anything tries to push reincarnation I'm fighting em. Not coming back to this polluted shit. No.
Doesn't help to know I'm not alone in this.
@@zestygurl I think it would help if there was actually a rescue squad that cud zap you out of your situation. I remember talking (chatting/messaging) a dear on line and business friend a few years ago saying that I needed him to believe me, when he came back with a generic answer that he would listen and let me empty. No no no I said. I dont need your expert counseling, I need one fucking person to understand and take this as serious as it is . I dont care if you think I am crazy, as long as you know I have reason to be and that I am in danger. I am beyond seeing a way out. I am too confused, too trauma bonded, too used to trying every way to do something without this person getting his jinxed vibe in the mix,only to be doomed because there wasn't another way, proving it was all for not so why even bother. I did watch a sermon yesterday about 5 reasons why you cant help some one and it was quite energizing for me and got me out of the house. Oh that man who owned me is dead now and I am dealing with the original narc and his pretend offspring, my son.(double down trigger happy narcissism) The sermon said that where ever you lost/left your peace go get it back and go to a new village.
The devil I was married to treated me worse than shit in front of his kids and family but sprinkled a few good times when we were together. Thank god for you. I’m aware and alive
That’s is their truck just enough to keep you hanging in there hoping they will be nice
Trick*
My dad is like that. He used to take me out to run errands, and hide whenever I got distracted. From his hiding place he
watched me while I got worried and started crying, and he wouldn't come out until someone else offered me help. He laughed and pretended I had wandered away. And he followed my mom to and from work after their divorce.
Oh my goodness my Dad too, he did it especially if we were having a good time, we ate or bought something at the mall, but if we ever did it he'd call us stupid and irresponsible. Gosh it feels good to know that someone also knows this type of manipulation.
They control through fear. That's not love.
@@sapnanayak1453 I'm glad I could help 👍
Wow, that's crazy. Pray you are getting help.
My father could be very sadistic with me. We were at White Sands, New Mexico and he decided to play a "joke" on me. I was nine years old when he decided to quickly pile the family in the car -- all except me, and take off pretending to leave me in the sand dunes. I was hysterically crying, frightened and angry and humiliated beyond belief especially when he went on and on telling the rest of the family in front of me of course, how silly I looked as he watched me in the rear view mirror chasing after the car hysterically. I had to hear about this the rest of the month long road trip. I was the family scapegoat.
Had flashbacks listening to this! My dad used to kill my pets (a Guinea pig and a rabbit) and said we were eating them at the dinner table. My mum just laughed. Monsters, the pair of them. I went on to marry a malignant narc when I was 19. He used to punch me in the face when I was asleep. I wasn't allowed to work or have friends. I did escape, but it leaves scars.
That is horrifying (both the parents and the spouse). Also, idk what it is about narcs and pets. Either they treat the animal as some kind of golden child, or don't think twice about mistreating/abusing it.
Hope you're doing better and are narcissist-free (or at least have way fewer narcs around).
@@ElRegulus I am doing much better, thank you! I'm getting good at grey rock with the vulnerable narcissists, and NC with the malignant ones. I don't know where I'd be without this channel! I hope you are healing too x
Xoxo Wren
This. My mom has a dog whom she has ‘never beaten.’
My sister gave away my cat in my absence, saying he s escaped. One day, she was tipsy and it was 15 years later, she said in front of me as she was laughing hard for the merriness “hahaha, it’s like Adele’s cat when we made her believe that it had left while I had given rid of it”.. hahahaha. She did the same with my piano, which was one of the most beautiful gift of my late mom to me…
I'm going through that now. My mom is a narcissist, she bought my son a car 2014. Yesterday she went to the police opened a case saying my son stole her car. We don't even stay with her. My son had been driving this car since 2014. She wants my son to have a criminal record. We grew up being ill treated. She has split the family, all her children don't talk to each. We grew up being scared of her. My children are affected because her drama.
I'm sure if I wouldn't have left my narc when I did I could have ended up dead. Sick, twisted, evil, malevolent...not enough adjectives to describe the evil. Thank you for helping so many people Dr. Ramani, you're a blessing.
Yeah, me too. SOOOOO scary. Glad you're out.
Pray for me.
Me too. He never raged but would stare at me and give me the silent treatment for months at a time (the longest was from Feb to May one year). He would walk up to me and put his hands around my neck and smile, squeeze a bit and then walk away. A few weeks before I got out he was laying on the couch when I got home from work watching unsolved mysteries. He smirked and said "that's what could happen to you. Nobody would ever figure it out. I'd be the devastated husband." This behaviour began escalating and I'm pretty sure if I hadn't run I wouldn't be here anymore.
I really honestly believe in demons and i truly think that many such narcs are possessed
I used to work with a manager who was like this. He’s incredibly dangerous and clearly hates women and has no issues getting into a woman’s face if she is in any way “disobedient” with him, when men could say the same thing and he’d get maybe your normal level of annoyed or irritation with someone questioning his authority. He’s an alcoholic who’s been in rehab several times yet he’s still not been fired or removed from his position.
My grandparents are also like this, and my mom has been showing signs of high level narcissism for a while. My dad is trapped and though my mom doesn’t want to be like her parents, it doesn’t stop her from ignoring my and my brothers pleas for her to become self aware. She’s too far gone and I just distance myself as much as possible for the time being
Then YOU aren't doing what you need to do. This behaviour is illegal in the workplace.
I feel for you. My narc also hates women. He enjoys seeing women “get theirs”. I’m seen as disobedient and disrespectful all the time. What makes it worse is that it’s not only him, but I’m surrounded by his family which either is afraid to say anything lest it set him off into a tirade or they just go along with it for their own personal reasons. It’s very hard
@mountain blue what blows my mind is that he’s been reported by multiple women and men but the company will just transfer him from place to place because “that’s just how he is” and “he gets things done”. Sorry but not only did he gaslight me all throughout my years working with him, but it was exacerbated by quarantine and working in a restaurant with a very small amount of people by comparison to normal.
@@kathysharpe7339 lol I reported him to corporate as well as many others. They just moved him to another restaurant
Exactly as you describe it Dr. Ramani, a very unpleasant experience, also terrifying. The coldness, the terrifying rage, the capacity to turn the charm on and off, their fear of being exposed, the justification of their rage and very bad behavior, so confusing. The more money the make, the worth it gets. They use people and then accuse others of using them instead. They discard people like and object or garbage, they are stingy and arrogant. Their lack of empathy is so unbelievable, even when you explain it to them and ask how would they feel if they receive the same treatment they give others, they defend their behavior still, it is truly heartbreaking. These kind of narcissists are very dangerous💔 Thank you so much for this series, it is so helpful, validating, eye opening, and life saving for so many💕
Absolutely. The lack of empathy and lack of remorse completely chills you. You can tell them the thing they did nearly killed someone and they just don't care, they act like you're talking about the weather, and if you pressure them for some humanity they just cooly gaslight you.
@@Harry-qw5jv Yes, exactly like that💔 At the beginning I kept telling myself, he has no clue, he just has to learn, but it got worth. How naïve I was, thinking they could change. Still one of my concerns is not being able to identify all red flags and choosing another narcissist. Hopefully never again thanks to all the learning. Thankfully, I feel a lot more confident. I have watched all of Dr. Ramani's videos, more than once. I trust I will make the right decisions. Thank you for the reply💜
@Victoria Bergman That's terrible💔
Yup. They know what they're doing. They know how it hurts you. They just don't care.
@@cynacist1823 Yes💔
You have talked about my mother 100%! She happily abused, and absolutely delighted in hurting others, either physically and/or emotionally her whole life! She SO damaged us, but I’ve spent my whole life getting over that abuse…I’m 95% there! It is the worst ever to live with someone like that…especially the abuse part, and for the fact they NEVER accept ANY responsibility for their actions! In her sick mind, she thought that she was smarter and better than everybody else! 🤮
My mom is like this too.
Yes! Mine also. And she says, proudly, as a scorpion that she is evil.
@@GiovannaGold yes mine was so proud of her Scorpio licence to be evil
are you from SA?
@@Expose_bankers_and_auctioneers Brasil? Rio de Janeiro. Sa?
My gosh. I had a coworker/"friend" like this. What resonates the most is their almost pride of people being afraid of them and their vindictiveness. It's truly disturbing and I'm thankful I managed to distance myself relatively drama free.
And yet many folks normalize this in PAReNTiNg! Saying that kids should have a “healthy fear” of their parents etc…. Of course some ppl grow up internalizing an extreme of that!
I also had a coworker like this. She ran the office and people bowed to her extreme behavior like it was normal. Likely out of fear or retaliation. She worked there for 37 years !!!!!!!!
This describes my father to a T. The conditioning & programming was so deep and broad I didn’t realize that’s what he was until roughly ten years after his death. Being betrayed and discarded in a horrific way by someone I had loved and trusted knocked me on my ass and opened my eyes.
I have an experience I'd like to share and cannot reveal how I have knowledge of this case. A 14 year old girl who was living with her mother was being emotionally, physically, and all other manners of abuse. A lot of the abuse was perpetrated by the brother in the home. The mother knew the brother was abusing the daughter, but never told the child's father, doctor, or anyone who would have helped to remove the child from her home. The mother eventually allowed the daughter to go to the father to stay permanently. The child disclosed sexual abuse to the father. The court then prosecuted the brother, but the mother took the brother's side and hired him a lawyer even though she knew he was guilty. Through all of this, the mother treats the child as nothing has happened, her visitation is shortened to just a few hours to see the child in a public place, and the mother constantly attacks the father stating he is invoking, "control" over her by not allowing her more time with the child. I can tell you that this person has absolutely no heart and does not care about the harmed child's feelings whatsoever. Thank you for the content ❤
When I originally realized there was something terribly wrong. I looked up Psychopath...everything didn't match but some did.
My phone started giving me suggestions I other Illnesses.
The best thing my "smart phone" ever did was direct me to Doctor Ramani!!!! Now I am alive and free R.I.P. Gabby
What enrages and worries me is that "50 shades of Grey "; witch is SUPPOSED to be a kinky BDSM dynamic/lovestory. The character of Christian Grey controlls Ana's diet and alcohol intake and demands sex from her! a bunch of people LOVED it! Only kinksters and BDSM people told how toxic that narrative is! If you can; please, talk about that disgusting novel! Is terrifingly popular.😊
Christian Grey is fucking sick
@@juliepicard986 exactly! E.L.James managed to both write the character of an abuser and botch research on basic BDSM notions...🤦♀️
@@elisabettacolzi8129 Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
@@beckijohnson4848 yeah! From a BDSM point of view that is so so wrong! Alcohol changes sensitivity to pain and can make you unable to consent! It should be a choice of the sub If they want alcohol or not. But I Guess EL James doesn't have UA-cam ( wattsthesafeword is a decent channel for info on the topic)
Agreed this should be covered even by Dr R bc this is one of the most blatant examples of horrific ABUSE being normalized in pop/media culture , period. That it did so under the guise of “BDSM” is a whole other problem of course but the normalizing alone (not just vilifying what kink is) is SO crazy!!?
My ex for sure!!!! He was super manipulative and controlling. He esteemed like a low grade narc, super needy and childish… I had no life cuz I was so busy catering to his every need and being his constant cheerleader…. but now that I think about it, that was just an act to keep me drawn in. He got me to a point where our whole relationship was all about him… I couldn’t even keep a job cuz it kept me from catering to him and he would figure out a way to get me fired or make me quit. But I was still the problem cuz he had to pay my way which he never forgot to remind me…He would leave me at home for days with no money no car and come back with his friends like nothing was wrong and expect me to host them at like 3am….but if I would go out with friends I would get 20-30 calls back to back so I couldn’t enjoy my time out at all…. (he damaged my car so I wouldn’t leave as I pleased) he would punished me like a child when I wasn’t “obedient” or “respectful” my feelings were never valid, they were always “assumptions” so talking to him did nothing but confuse me more! I became a father to his kids cuz he wouldn’t bother unless it suited him… his baby mamas began calling me directly when it came to the children cuz he was so unreliable….until one day I just had enough, called my parents and they secretly gave me money to leave, with the help of a friend I packed my valuables in my car and my friend and I hauled it out of there before he got home. Blocked him and everyone associated with him. I haven’t looked back since! I don’t know or care what has become of him. Not my problem anymore! I escaped, literally!!!! So grateful I got my life back I will never give anybody my power ever again!!! 💯😁
Sounds like my ex! Super controlling and wanted to keep me locked in the house. Had terrifying rages if I ever got sick, which meant I couldn’t take care of everything for him.
Good for you!!
100% accurate. Thank you so much for this video. I experienced everything you described. I’m 86 now, a survivor. My five children were damaged in so many ways..twenty five years, married, he left me for a much younger woman, yeah!!!! A blessing in disguise. I could write a thousand page book on the abuse. Thank you a thousand times for the validation.
Anyone who has put up 5 minutes with a narcissist is unbelievably strong. Get to safety and leave these life suckers. They just aren't worth putting up with anywhere.
💛
I stayed with my Narc for 5 years out of fear of his vindictiveness. I have finally gone no contact and am dealing with my credit being ruined by him, out of spite, a massive smear campaign against me, and the psychological damage.
But, I am slowly working on myself and learning to accept what happened and why I missed the big red flags. I am learning I am worthy of loving myself enough to be with myself and enjoy my life.
Debdeb Andrews,You are beautiful,hope you are not with a narcissist......
It is so awful. The toll they take. Glad you are fighting the good fight and will be free someday. The peace of mind will be worth it.
@@lauragrolla5916 Thank you. I have gone No Contact and haven't been stalked for a couple weeks now. I'm hoping He has moved on to another source. I do feel sorry for His next victim.
Way to go!
Dr. Ramani, you are the only person since I got out almost four years ago: to validate and explain what happened to me.
The relationship only totalled a few months, but the guy knew what he was doing. Horrible things happened, that sound so fantastic, hardly anyone believed me at the time. The sleep deprivation, starving, and drugging me and worse! It was a nightmare and I will never be who I was before. This is a crime and I have no compensation for it at all. It has affected my ability to go back to college and to hold a job.
God Bless you! i had - am still having similar; mine a rich powerful 'respectable' family - so nobody belives me. Id reccomend 'healing from Hidden abuse; by shannon Thomas PHD - good solid road map back to healing. it is possible! xx
For years, I have compared malignant narcissism to the classic image of the vampire. There is a line in the original 1931 film in which Van Helsing attempts to explain Dracula to an unbeliving Jonathan Harker. "The vampires strength is that people will not believe in him." I do not waste my time trying to convince those who do not already know, for they are all but unconvincable. We sound like irrational idiots to them. Until they become victims, too.
It is like being held hostage, isn't it? Terrifying for you. Glad you got out.
@@Captain-Cosmo That is the perfect analogy.
Something he said has stuck with me. He said, "You used to live in a holy bubble: now you don't." Just like Dracula, he is a monster.
@@lauragrolla5916 Yes terrifying, if I didn't get out I would be dead.
My husband. I call him Jekyll/Hyde. And the same measure he is nice he is cruel in equal measure. So an exceptionally nice time leaves me terrified of what will come next just not knowing when. After 18 years of this torture I have filed for divorce. A year in counseling and reading/learning here and this one is leaving the insanity. Best wishes to all of you in similar situations
My ex and I had just gotten home from a nice weekend getaway, without the kids, and we had a great time. We had been home less than an hour and I had to make a visit to the bathroom. He suddenly starts beating on the door and is screaming at me to get my f-ing $#!t and get out of his f-ing house. And I'm sitting there thinking, "What the hell did I do?" He loved me 5 minutes ago, and now he wants me to move out? That was the first outburst that told me something was EXTREMELY wrong. I stayed another 3 yrs, and wish now that I hadn't. These people are truly evil.
I left my malignant narc husband years ago, the divorce process was horrendous. Once the situation was finalized he remarried and had kids. I had no contact, didn't care. Last year found out he died. Was contacted by his son whom I've never met, I offered to leave him photos and things I still have from that period in my will. Son contacts me back with full narc rage, passing on rude messages from his father. I was very hurt again. I stayed out of his life but he had to bad mouth me to children I never knew, pass on death bed venom? I suspect his son inherited his narcness too. So these narcs never forget.
@@joywebster2678 I'm so sorry that happened, it sounds really distressing
@@mandyprescott2279 That’s horrible. I’ve experienced numerous spontaneous outbursts but never this bad. I do remember one while waiting for our food at a Thai restaurant with my husband, everything seemed to be going fine when all of a sudden I’m asked if I paid a specific bill ( his, not mine 🤦♀️ and he was already enraged ), I hesitated for what felt like 2-3 seconds and said “ let me think “ … he then went ballistic and started “well, did you or didn’t you”, accusing me of being unreliable, demanding an immediate answer. By that point, I was close to tears and shaking. I should have just gotten up and left but I stayed and I could hardly swallow my food. I also had no way of checking for sure if I had indeed paid that bill right at that moment so I remained terrified that I maybe hadn’t paid it. As soon as we got home, I rushed to verify whether it had been paid or not and when I mentioned that yes it had been paid, I got no answer, just a sour look. No apology, obviously. He acted like nothing happened.
For over 40 years, my mother asked the question, "Should I stay, or should I go?" She said that my father was the best husband, lover, father and provider when he was acting nice; however, he would switch and be extremely cruel, abusive, demeaning and absent. This push-pull was maddening for her and for our family.
This is my ex to a T. He tried to control everything I did. I always stood up for myself towards the end so it got very scary, even terrifying, every time. If it weren’t for my family helping I would have had to skip town to escape. Especially since I was pregnant at the time. He even attempted to run me off the road when I was pregnant with our son and blamed me for it until the day I blocked him. This video really resonates with me. Thank you so much Doctor Ramani ❤️
Your comments are always so meaningful. I hope
your life is better and your child is healthy and happy.
And after 1000's of years of human existence this species has not done a damn thing to put these monsters out of society for good. A species of enablers.
@@cymbolichuman433 thank you so much!! That really means a lot 😊 we are both healthy and very happy! I can now officially and proudly say that I haven’t spoken to him in a year and the last time he attempted to contact me was April. It’s a huge relief to say the least. People always comment on how happy my son is all the time and I know it wouldn’t be that way if he was exposed to that environment.
I really do appreciate your kind words ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you’re doing well in your healing journey also 🤗
I’m going to post this again, never get in the car with a narcissist.
@@SandriaGuest truest true.
Dr.Ramani, in this video you describe exactly the life I have been going through for 17 years. You could say that living with such a person is like a prison, literally taking away your freedom and slowly erasing everything you are!
EVERYTHING WAS FOR SHOW. She humiliated and abandoned me. Still, everyone believed her stories because she was so charming and could EMULATE EMOTION.
Most narcissists LACK empathy but have some capacity for it- they are still human. A psychopath could witness a kid get run over by a car and not feel any emotion.
precisely
Empathy is on a spectrum. We (almost) all have some, and the degree varies infinitely.
The same thing is true for narcessism. It's a spectrum and we (almost) all have some.
I am high-range narc and I didn't feel anything when my father died. We were close, he was the nicest man I've known, but I just didn't feel it at all. But on the other hand music can bring me to tears and sometimes I feel empathy towards random people and wish them best, can be selfless but these feelings usually die out quickly.
@@everettworld1765 im the exact same. Sometimes I feel a lot of empathy towards strangers, but that vanishes quickly.
I do feel empathy towards animals though.
@@everettworld1765 if you were truly a high range narcissist, isn't it unlikely that you would even be able to realise that? Narcissists don't think they have anything wrong with them- that's how you know they're a narcissist.
The day I finally was able to leave him (trying to figure out for over a year how to escape), I found out that my X had been diagnosed by the courts as a Sociopath. I lived through the hell that you exactly and accurately described in this video. I have been watching your channel for a while and you have helped me so much by describing the lack of empathy these people have, but this video is the icing on the cake. You have hit the nail on the head, and I am so very grateful to you. I have been in counselling, and can happily report that I am getting my life and identity back, even though I almost lost my life with that monster, and actually lost almost everything material and financial. My life was spared. Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani, for all you are doing to set us free.
Geez, maybe you could write a book ?! Save others from the same fate ? BUT, might be too triggering though !?
@@m.maclellan7147 The book is in progress! Thank you!
I can give few you can add to your book
So people should be careful to associate with extremely nice , overly helpful physically
At the extent of helping any one in social circle needs help with funeral service etc
And very physically helpful in temples , help senior citizens
To get their family’s attention
Basically please the social circle
And show NARCS characters at home and get their daily share of food and emotionally
Destroy them
Etc
It's so terrifying to live that way. I felt like I would never escape. We both did and we're still here.😊
So glad you got out.
Not every narc is violent and full of rage. I hope people don’t think that if their person doesn’t show the rage that they aren’t narcissistic. Passive aggressive people are just as narcissistic. That’s what took so long to identify my husband of 30 years. Knew something was off early on but I very rarely saw rage. Once in awhile he would throw something or shove something but for the most part he was sneaky about “getting back” at me when he was full of anger. Hiding information….leaving out important facts ….people showing up at my house that he invited and not telling me. That kind of stuff was his way of “rage”. Would like to hear more about that kind of personality because it can be just as dangerous especially if you have financial ties to them. That’s what I had to eliminate first and foremost. He was burying us financially and my name was on everything.
You are not alone my ex 25 year marriage same style, got more mean at the end and scary.
100% true
Sounds kind of like maybe a Vulnerable type. Covert. Imo, and experience, the covert type can be very dangerous too, and they wait a while before it comes out. I had an experience with one who I cannot even describe what all she did. A lot.
Just as you described omitting facts or important information. Always inviting people to stay in the home without consulting me. The more I asked to have this information communicated to me the more they did it.
@@lydiamae9257 anything you tell them you don't like...or even better: won't ACCEPT...that is what you'll be served up for dinner for the rest of your time with them
As Dr. Ramani features different narcissistic types I think about characters in folk tales and fairy tales. Those orgres, witches and monsters must have been based on real life narcissists and psychopaths.
When my father died I had a dream with the soundtrack from the Wizard of Oz. I woke up hearing "The wicked old witch is dead" and I felt happy and free.
.... You're d*amn right! I never thought of it that way. Those stories didn't come from nowhere...
I think vampires are a metaphore for narcissists.
This is my situation. FREEDOM DAY 5/10/2021. Living on nothing more than a wing and a prayer with a target on my back but it is so much better. 💚💜
This is my estranged husband. Everything Dr. Ramani lists around the ten minute mark is what I lived through. When my son was 3 in 2018 I made the decision to escape back to my home country. I didn’t start unpacking any of the trauma until just last year when I realized that my FOO was all on the NPD spectrum. God bless anyone still in this, god bless anyone who has escaped it, dios lo bendiga 💜✨
OMG! 25 years ago, I left a rage-filled high end narcissist who was also diagnosed as Axis 2 (untreatable), but that diagnosis came AFTER the fact. I, myself, have been in therapy off and on ever since. It’s difficult to understand what being human means because I would never treat an animal the way my daughters and I were terrorized. The cost of treatment for the 3 of us has diverted precious funds away from other endeavors. That is the saddest part of all, you can walk away from the fire that was your relationship but difficult to see the legacy in your children’s eyes. I saved us, but I couldn’t really protect us from the aftermath. So grateful there are resources and wise professionals like you, Dr. Ramani, it was incredibly lonely 25 years ago. Bless you💕
We (the narc’s lunch) have to pay for THEM terrorizing US. That was a bitter pill to swallow. So unfair.
But I finally had to realize that if I was going to get better, if my kids had a fighting chance, it was up to me. Didn’t matter how unfair it was.
So I took back my power.
I salute you .. " I saved us". I know the finance drain and the continuous heartache and confusion ...but you did save yourself and your children.. that's no easy feat!
I've been thinking on how was it that narcissism spread so far and wide.
One of the things that comes to mind is we removed the rules of engagement.
The character flaws that used to be a rule of thumb of who to avoid are no longer in play.
This.
Social media
@@hedwignl8118 it wasn't social media that removed the standards. Social media is a product of the standards being removed. 😔
@@jodyayers4592 I asked the same question. It's really about the parents. The parents get traumatized, grow up with no idea on how to love, have kids, traumatize them, and the cycle continues. Not knowing how to love, or what it feels like, people look for many temporary highs and things outside of themselves in order to try and be happy. They become selfish in an effort to relieve themselves of their issues, which they don't really know how to do. Social media just moved this along faster, because now selfish people can easily find more selfish people to validate their world view and their bad behavior. So those characters flaws become the norm, as you say. Not to mention the bad behavior constantly shown in all of the entertainment we take in. It makes for good entertainment, but its a bad influence. To go back even further and in a spiritual way, there is a scripture in the bible that says "the whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one". That's 1 John 5:19. The wicked one has also been referred to as the "father of the lie". Dr. Ramani just told us the kind of people that run the world at the end of the video, and that pretty much sums it up. So I believe that is how it spread so far. Also, many parents are still addicted to social media and other things like they were as teenagers, which is just another way to neglect their kids.
@@Leoo117 indeed, its the wicked one, and he knows his time is short.
I grew up in crazy, then married into crazy. When I was finally set free, I thought it would be enough to get outside that frame work so I could have some peace finally.
Only to realize that the whole world had gone crazy.
My father once slapped my 3 year old brother sideways at the dinner table so that he and his high chair slammed to the floor nearly giving him a concussion. I was 8 and already walked on eggshells. Dinners gave me an ulcer at 9 because you could be attacked at any moment. He once had me jog around the block in a New York winter to "get over" Scarlett Fever. His anger was sudden, unpredictable and could follow a cheerful smile. On top of that he moved us every 9 months or so, we were always new kids at school, had no support and he moved us from all family. It was a terrifying childhood, sick and cruel and I learned to stay hidden if possible. Yet, to this day, even some of my siblings are all worshipful and idealize him. He is dead now and the day I heard he passed a clenched part of me finally began to relax. I had a dream that night with the song "The Wicked Old Witch is Dead." Sadly I never knew what was wrong with him and got into lots of narcissistic relationships all my life. I am 62 and only now feeling free.
Laura Grolla,You are absolutely gorgeous
@@lioydwilliams1850 made my day ty
@@lauragrolla5916 You are welcome dear.I am Lioyd from the States.You?
@@lioydwilliams1850 Stateside
sexually and emotionally offensive, humor is understood very subjectively: Understands himself, by virtue of his social position (as a doctor), to be entitled to cross the boundaries of others.
Oh wow. I never put together the "humour" with the narcissism. That it is used as a weapon to belittle people, make them uncomfortable, and also sometimes to frighten. Wow.
My father wasn't a high range narc, but he definitely used humor this way too. As a child I grew up loving really dark humour because of him, then someday I realized that most of the time he was actually serious. Racist, ableist and misogynistic jokes were never just jokes to him, but the joke was a fancy dressing to not get caught but still make people uncomfortable. The day I realized that I completely lost what I thought was my sense of humour.
@nimbleneedle We all complain about the humour and how all it is, is an excuse to be cruel. Even though we are narc aware, none of us made that connection exactly. Mindblown, lol.
@nimbleneedle And the "Preachers or other Clergy" that do the same.
dude i basically had body dysmorphia if you know what that is and yeah basically i was obsessed with how bad i looked, it got better over time but i started to get it in my teens and then boom i met him needless to say he had a field day with my issues
I've had two damaging narcissists in my life, and they are probably on the cusp of high end. Where I think they come close to that line, is the physical danger. That when they have a narcissistic injury, it isn't just moody or mouthy, but becomes (literally) murderous. (and the creepy stalky behaviour that is hard to escape) One, in addition to the usual stuff, could be very competitive and would get into a cycle that builds and builds over a period of months into a really paranoid, delusional state. The other, their danger came from the extreme sense of entitlement. That other people were effectively there for their enjoyment, including the enjoyment of fear. The enjoyment of fear is one of the worst things I've ever seen, that is terrifying.
A common theme with both, is the total disregard for boundaries. No matter how many times someone asks them to stop a behaviour, or tells them no. It means nothing.
My grandparents, specially my grandmother are extremely narcissistic. My mom is their personal assistant and the way they run their house (and life) is almost psychopathic. Last time I said I won't be part of this anymore is when I didn't agree on a simple matter and the punishment was they "forgot" to tell me about the party they made for my cousin who I love so much and told everyone I yelled at them and was mad at the family so everyone would turn against me. They still sends me money hoping I will still be their supply, but not anymore. Thank you doctor Ramani you've helped me heal so much and I'm doing so well right now. I will always owe you my life, thank you.
Hang in there and don’t give up. I believe your on the right path. Don’t give them control over you. You can do this.
Glad you’re away from such hurtful behavior which will never change.
You are speaking about everything that I have been trying to fight against for over a decade here in Oxford, North Carolina. A very High Range Narcissist Religious Occult that is under the controls and the manipulation of Counterfeit Bishops, and their harem of Occult abusers. They are so dangerous. Everybody is scared to death to a point where I am not able to get any help to stop the violent abuse. I pray that God will help me and protect me from murder.
This is my situation, on the most extreme level. I don't know where to start explaining the mess that I deal with. Getting arrested is not as easy as it sounds if they know how to ride the system. It is terrifying, I've been warned presently of trying too get me to call the police so they can escalate the shame game. I'm thinking my problem may be more serious after watching this video.
Bro sense your pain . Do or die . You have to get out while you can
Oh my goodness this sounds so much like my father 🥺 Finally this year, at the age of 48, I got the courage to break free from his toxicity 🙏🏼
Thank you for mentioning that high-range narcissists are often at the top of organizations, institutions, and governments, that can't be said enough.
I experienced the high end of the high end....an 'entity' who wanted to do me in.
literally. it was a nuclear bomb. in the end, she/it was saying she had dreams that I was chased down and killed by a mob of people.
most people don't understand therefore a very isolating thing.
but I awakened myself out and now see like a raptor in the dark. grateful. good video.
Yes they plant seeds like that so it plays on your mind to be a self fulfilling prophesy, well the devil is a LIAR 🙏
Me too! I felt like that. An entity is the right word to describe them because they are not people and they do not have an ounce of remorse and the whole time I was with him he was calculating steps and ways to bring me down that I was never going to even think of the bc my brain doesn’t work that way but he made me definitely controlled every aspect of my life and that was isolating and made me think I had problems I didn’t and used other girls at work to validate everything I said (they were his I forget the word but like followers that will do and say anything the narcissist wants him to and falls for all his BS stories. I was very isolated I couldn’t talk to anyone about it and he did it in a way that made him look good and never bad and like I was the crazy one and he had the power and money and all of that to pull strings so that he was always 10 steps ahead of me specially after it ended but he didn’t stop there he kept doing everything possible to make me suffer - he destroyed and exploited fragile family dynamics that I’d entrusted in him by contacting them and saying all of these things that weren’t true but he knew would trigger more unrest and instability. he even got his kids who are grown to believe his lies so they all harassed me for months and we’re entertained by it… I could go on and on but I see him now for how he is and I always still slightly wish that it wasn’t that way but I know that it is know that he still calculates ways to get back at me and I never did anything wrong of course but it in his head I did everything wrong and deserve all this and he was in charge of my professional life as well so he ruined all that and I’ve gone my own direction and has succeeded since I’ve left him because he made sure I didn’t succeed while I was with him and make me think it was all me
Yes! Yes! Yes! "Entity" is the exact word. It's not a person, or a monster it's... No word is strong enough, it's an "entity"
In Australia we now have coercive control laws. They seem to have been developed by lawyers without any psychologist input, as they seem very easy to manipulate and use as a tool to abuse the real victim.
The legal system is truly EXTREMELY lacking in education about how things like narcissism and abuse actually happen in real life. So many judges and lawyers are so naive and don’t realize when they are enabling someone who is so dangerous. It’s absurd that the professionals who have the power to take these people down are unequipped to even see it for what it is.
Her ability to turn her emotions on and off scared the crap outta me.
Right
Severely harmful
Oh yes!
Facts
She could go from practically foaming at the mouth rage to chipper innocent smiles and girlish little giggles in seconds - and vice versa. And regardless of which way it was going, just the switch itself - seeing it & hearing it - was an effing horror movie for me.
Just a few days ago, my narcissist ex (also my daughter's father) chased me in my car onto the highway ramming me in the back a few times before pulling onto the side of me and ramming my driver's side repeatedly. I immediately got off the next exit and he followed me onto the street managing to get on the left of my car ramming me into the sidewalk. As I tried to reverse he keeps pushing. He gets out his car and that's when I'm able to reverse and go around him. I drive to a side street and call the police. That was so scary for me. He's been very aggressive before but this made me see just how far he's willing to go. I want nothing to do with him! Thanks for reading if you got this far. I had to vent.
That is very scary. Did you press charges, or at least get a restraining order ? Be careful, it could escalate.
@@Booboonancy yes I have taken steps and have a restraining order for now. I do have a hearing in court coming up to further access the matter. Thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it!
@@JayaleeMocha Good for you and I hope you and your daughter have a good support system and are able to regain your sense of safety. I’ve not experienced anything of this magnitude but I fully appreciate your predicament. YT is a good place to vent and find others who deal/have dealt with narcissistic abuse. I actually get more out of the comments as 99% are genuine and relatable. Take care.
I fought in the courts and lost my three young children to a high-end narcissist who held considerable clout in my small town. It's so true that they often hold high-end positions in the community. I think that social workers, court-ordered psychologists and judges should have much more training in these areas. The damage to my three children had been irreparable.
Having experienced so many mid-range narcissists in my life, it was hard for me to understand a person who was brought in to manage my former workplace. There was a coldness, a contempt for others, a need to dominate, and a lack of empathy, but never an outward display of anger. Perhaps, he fits this description for a high-range narcissist? I always felt that my job was at risk, which turned out to be true.
My mother was like this. She absolutely felt validated by making me feel afraid of her. She played this sick game with me my entire life, because she needed me for her supply, but also hated me and never missed an opportunity to tell me so. I ended up developing DID because of her and the whiplash, gaslighting, controlling, abusive, & narcissistic behaviors she took out on me.
She was my mother so there was no way to even escape and any adult I trusted enough to tell, always ended up telling my mom which in turn, made things worse for me at home.
Now I'm adult and several years no contact with my mother. I'm in therapy now and working on enjoying my life with the family I've built for myself. I'm 27 years old, and finally feel like I'm starting to live life for myself. ❤️
I was married to a narcissist who was every kind of abusive you can imagine. I lived on eggshells. When he physically abused me and I wanted to ask for help, he told me he would make sure I was also arrested and our daughter would be put in foster care. It took me 7 years to get out of this relationship and my daughter and I moved out of state. My daughter is now 24 years old and I am in therapy still trying to recover emotionally. Back then I did not know what a narcissist was. I did not seek therapy until a couple years ago. I occasionally have nightmares about running into him somewhere. I have not seen him in 21 years and have not spoken to him in 17 years.
Sara Moran,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist......
You have said that to me multiple times and others as well. Are you a narcissist or a stalker? It’s creepy!!!
I've been dealing with this for over 40 years with a next door neighbor. He's gotten away with every single injustice he has done to me and every single crime he has committed against me, against my parents and against my pets because I'm too afraid to take action against him (and so were my parents). He has the power of our city and law enforcement on his side, too, at any moment that he wants or needs them. All of the closets in every room of his house are stuffed with weapons and guns and here he is, one of the most manipulative, conniving, hate filled, cold, calculating psychopaths you'll ever encounter.
Move away. This is terrible
@@teachersusan3730
Thank you. I can't right now. Plus this is my family property. All the neighbors know the situation. Everyone around here has been here for decades. I make sure my pets and myself are inside before he gets home from work. I don't go in my back yard alone when he's home.
@@jillhollon768 buy new property sell this one..
I believe that my s-i-l is a high-end narcissist. She's emotionally sadistic. The holidays, birthdays or any other special occasion that does not revolve around her usually winds up being ruined by her, after which she plays the victim.
I lost my twin brother a few years ago so my birthday is a bitter sweet occasion to begin with and she uses that knowledge to drive the dagger in even deeper.
Same with my sibling. I've decided to stay the f right out of her way. Every family event..occasion they have to spoil. Take care of your heart...they know how to hurt u bad. My mum lost her twin
I feel compassion for you. My ex-wife was similar. She plotted and planned how to most deeply hurt me and each member of my family when we got together on holidays and birthdays. She became so abusive that I stopped allowing her to visit my family. Fortunately, I finally divorced her after 21 years of abuse.
It’s disgusting and repugnant, isn’t it. I’m so sorry you need to have dealing with this SIL.
Oooh thank you Dr Ramani. I've literally been waiting on this one each day in anticipation. This really validates my experience.
My story about this: the malignant narcissist in my life has all the hallmarks of psychopathy but not quite criminal. She's unbelievably paranoid, your videos on Paranoid Personality fit her too. Her narcissism is acute. Her rages are literal terror. She is controlling like a prison guard. The psychological mind games are complex and very twisted. She is very insecure. She is a coercive controller. My pop is a sociopath. She is similar to him. But the narcissism and paranoia make her much more volatile, unpredictable, fragile and really crazy. They're both absolutely terrifying and completely lack empathy, but the malignant narcissist is a lot more hypersensitive, paranoid, calculating and covers her tracks more (covert abuse). These people are extremely dangerous. I have ptsd and dissociative amnesia.
It continues to boggle my mind just how manipulative and premeditated they are. My mind has learned to work at a quicker level but I’m constantly in a guessing game
@@pumpupthejam28 me too. And the thing is they are SO calculating, they actually calculate how to conceal the calculations so you're constantly left off balance wondering if you're paranoid
Have a very similar experience going on. It's so mentally exhausting it feels unbelievable most of the time.
@@Harry-qw5jv it’s all so exhausting! I feel Like I’m spending all day long wondering about motives. I’m just trying to stay true to myself and TRYING to ignore it all. It’s hard though when it’s your life. Very lonely and isolating!!
@@saibasiddiqui yeah, unbelievable is the word I'd use too. Like you're walking through a parallel universe, it messes with your reality so much.
One thing to add about lack of empathy: it's not like narcissists are evil and happy about it at first, but after you realize how much lacking empathy benefits your life(you're better at competition, you can lie your way our as long as nobody catches you, during an interview for job or for promotion you seem better than others etc.), then you might start doing evil things, but even more terrifying things is that, how our society is build for psychopathy/narcissism/machiavellianism and not for compassion nor for cooperation.
But you know what's crazy? People have to try to act like they have more knowledge/skills than they really do to get a job in our competitive economy, we have to say at least some lies or use manipulation to a degree. Or to get a promotion, or to look more interesting, to live a better life socially and romantically. Look, do we go to a job interview and we just say facts about our life? No, it's a competition that favors appearances and presentation, not who we actually are. Even if you are an honest person, you have to lie that you can work under pressure well, that you deal with stress perfectly, in so many jobs you have to lie about these things and if you can't do that, then we can find somebody to replace you, who can at lest convincingly lie how much they like people with whom they work etc.
It's not a world build for compassion, we get pushed by our Western societies dangerously close to be more psychopathic and narcissistic.
I love her intro, she‘s like the really cool teacher of a class full of hard working students and after some time she gives us the really difficult question, just to give us a little push and make us think outside the box with this expression on her face «i know you can do this»
My dad never showed remorse for anything he did. He was physically voilent with a disabled women & my mum. But he was emotionally manipulating with the children. He never admits anything. I was scared of him as a young child. But when I saw there was a reason for that fear I stopped being scared of him & started to try to use him which didn't help either lol. Eventually I worked out I'm best not having him in my life.
He moved my mum away from her single mums community & then robbed her & left her. Then divorced her & moved country leaving her with the debt he accumulated to "hide" what he stole. He was into politics, still works for the party he supports. He's very intelligent & just shows no remorse at all. But his new family like him & believe he's lies.
Ironically my first boyfriend at 13 was also a high end narcissist. He controlled what I wore, who I spoke to & who I hung around after school with, if I disobeyed he'd harass me all night & then dump me the next day & harass me until he decided he wanted me & got tired of hearing him everywhere. I stayed with him for 4 years, but on & off & abused sexually while he was in youth offenders & he still cheated on me repeatedly & I still got back with him when he came back😂
In adulthood when I stopped talking to my dad the first time I told him he was the first man to break my heart & the way he loved me paved the way for others to abuse me the same way. I started going church at 18 & that taught me what love should be in the way of "no physical or verbal abuse" but they was just as controlling but called it Pentecostal Christianity. I met my husband at 19, moved out & developed severe cPTSD symptoms & that's when I started councilling & realised I was really abused & I'm still on the journey. But my mum was phsyically, psychologically abusive & neglectful & paranoid too so I don't know if she is a mid range or high end narcissist cuz she was loved by everyone who wasn't family. I think my dad was a sociopath & my first boyfriend was antisocial behaviour with narcissism. Could you explain this? Lol.
It’s like Dr Ramani is talking about the man I was once married to. I hate to mention his name and even claiming him my ex or something. I always refer to him as a psychopath. This is one person I feel sick if I have to remember that I was once married to him. I’m currently married to a wonderful man, but this man is still stalking me. That’s how sick he is.
You know, love does crazy things to people.
OMG Dr Ramini - it’s so true. My husband was an incredible controller of whet I ate who I saw….I was so harmed by the fear and manipulation and his dark behavior (only around me of course) because everybody loved him - hahahaha but the worst thing of all was that I LOST my sense of myself: my naturally sweet nature, buoyant optimism and forgiving heart. It took me six months of isolation from almost everyone to regain all of this but there are scars, and this will take time for them to fade. But I’m free and ever so happy. Ladies please don’t let them take your life-force away from you! There’s new life waiting for you…..there’s the real you waiting and that real YOU is beautiful.
I feel like that now, that life force that got away from me. One year after the abuse and how it showed me that I grew up in it. It’s like a floodgate opening up where all seems hopeless now and my health collapsed too. Reading your comment makes me believe that it is perhaps a phase, a critical phase right after the abuse or the overleaf de of abuse and that the shift will be drastic but positive. Yet it feels VERY Lonely now.
I love your work, dr Ramani ❤
One intriguing phrase I've heard from the narc by the begining of the year was: "I love dogs, cause they love you unconditionally".
That sums narcissism all up. You should love your pet, not expect it to love you all the way. You are taking care of them, not the contrary. Basically it show everything you've said on this channel together in a way, cause they want to be loved and valued in anything they do.
A lot of narcs have a harder time with cats I find because cats develop strong boundaries, I've never seen one care for a cat meaningfully. I love dogs but their loyalty is dangerous with abusive people, and that makes me very sad.
@@hypermonkey200 very good point, buddy. Fateful.
Cats care about their humans with limits, they are always in first place. And thinking about it, yeah, I can see the narcs I know don't really like cats... Very good commentary of yours. :)
@@hypermonkey200 I see that with narcs, they treat the dogs as literal properties they use the dogs to feel superior, like restricting areas, giving orders and screams.
I was also just about to comment: the malignant narcissists and sociopaths in my family all say they love dogs (it's not love, it's possessiveness and domination) but they all absolutely hate cats, violently hate them. They project a lot onto cats I found (the cat is selfish, evil, manipulative, using you, cunning, just wants food, doesn't care about you, is only on your knee to keep warm, etc) I love dogs but in rebellion I got a cat! Love cats too.
I just went through a two-year relationship with one of these nasty creatures of the dark. He is a walking nightmare and I knew of his history and thought I could help him (he's also an alcoholic). At first our relationship was loving, caring until he got me isolated (my doing innocently). The monster came out. I was constantly accused of cheating, I couldn't talk to ANYONE because they took away from my time with him. He tried to dress me so we wore the same things, he set up a camera facing our bed when he would leave my house, he even took pics of my underwear....always convinced I was cheating. Then he started verbally abusing me, calling me all kinds of things...then he started saying I needed someone to "beat my a*&". At this point I knew what was coming next. I filed an order of protection because he had done some physical things and it was escalating. He destroyed my phone, my laptop and broke my patio glass door amongst other things. He is now in jail in another state away from me and that's probably where he should be. I never want to ever be in his presence again.
The difference you're making in peoples' lives is not only expansive, but also deep. Thank you for spreading awareness and educating the world for free like you do. It's clear you care more about the people who suffer than the profit and accolades, which is something I know all of us who learn from your contents are so grateful for. I will never forget watching your videos while I was homeless due to damages I suffered from experiences with 2 narcissistic parents; unable to afford to pay for therapy or any other contents. Your work gave me hope and inspired me to heal and live a better life during some of my darkest times. I never would've grown like I have without your contents. You truly change peoples' lives for the better and impact the world. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you, Dr. Ramani.
Every single aspect describes perfectly the hell caused by my mother. After therapy, I can calmly think and talk about it, but it took significant portion of my life in the past 5 decades. Not just my life. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, you are appreciated!
Yes! Pastor, performer- gone for days , having affairs, yet bugging our house and stalking me ( his wife). Ended in me confronting him and him running me down with the car and leaving me lay in the road thinking I was dead .
I for sure danced with the devil! I am a survivor! Thank you for all of your work to educate on the topic!
Omg! My ex to a T! Tracking devices in my phone and car! Controlling all my social activities! Making me beg for monthly necessities! Strip searches and smell tests after being away from home!
Total degradation of my personal identity! Thank God! I walked away!!
I’m positive I’d be dead if I had stayed!!
All these years later, I recognize and don’t tolerate any hint of narcissist behavior.
Distance can be a beautiful thing!!
Yes! The charismatic face mask is so true! I question all these behaviors now days!!
My mother is very malignant, sadistic and rageful. She absolutely despises her own daughters. One small example of her sadism, when my sister was pregnant, she kept bringing up the subject of babies dying in car crashes in "conversation" with her and constantly whining about her own aches and pains.
Our dad, I feel has not just been her enabler, he has been the puppet master, egging her on behind the scenes and letting her blow up and throw tantrums while he enjoyed his status as the nice guy. I think he's a psychopath, rather than a narcissist. He has no emotion or remorse for any of the heinous things they've done. He's the brains, she's the braun.
Sadly, the type of narcissism you're describing is a general personality in the christian churches I've attended over for the past 40-sum yrs, especially in less educated and low income adults (like me & my family), and most definitely in its leadership (my childhood chums).
Both of my parents fall into this high-struggle personality; no one is on their side, no one is more right than they are, and no one knows their faith in their narcissistic Supreme being, nor follows Him as strongly and obediently as they do.
They're "saved"
The disgusting world around them is going to hell (even tho being around them is hell!).
The suffering my parents were capable of inflicting in the name of Jesus & God sent me finally running for the law as a 40-something adult. (Two times, two Orders for Protection over 4yrs).
Their coercion and inability to accept a lack of consent is unbearable. They know nothing of mercy, yet preach it incessantly (as a child I was slapped across the face for calling out their hypocrisy & learned to seek truth like a detective, in secret).
They're constantly selling their way into heaven as if it's their job, yet their lives are void of living. They didn't fit in to any churches anymore, so they made up their own & raised me in it; at cult meetings their smiles, professed patience, and kindness was unreal. Plastic grins.
Thank you for exposing light on this. For years I thought I was insane, the church family said I was, I thought I'd brought it all on myself (they told me that, too).
Religious trauma is real. Deproogramming is long, painful, and freeing♡
Dr. Ramani I am grateful to you♡
So sorry for your experiences with church folks. In spite of all your pain, remember there are good people out there too that go to church and will treat you like we all should be treated...with God's love.
Holy shit! No pun intended but wow, just wow.
Yes! Narcissists hide in Religion. They can have power and look good in front of people. Narcissists teach their children to follow the rules of religion but the narcissists breaks all the rules.
I can tell you, however, that this grouping now exists in other religious communities as well. Islam, for example, has now also become immensely institutionalized in many countries, so that here, too, is the phenomenon of the increasing number of narcissistic hypocrites who are nurtured by the believing community.
This has pretty much been my biggest experience of Christianity too. That it is weaponized by the narc.
Thank you Dr. Ramani for this series on low, mid-range and high-range narcissists, and thank you for all the topics that you explore. My father was diagnosed as a malignant narcissist, and my mother was diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder and bi-polar type 2. Though he powerfully controlled everyone in his sphere, my NPD father preyed upon particular individuals at home and at the business he owned. He got a sick, twisted pleasure out of completely breaking certain people. Their suffering brought a wry smile and a glint of glee in his eyes. He seemed to feel most loved or valued by those who suffered the most for him or from him. When he had broken specific employees at work, my father discarded them.
He played a different game at home. My father would inflict so much suffering on my mother that she would be completely destroyed and be on the brink of committing suicide. Then my father would swoop in and play the savior, helping my mother to recover; however, my father would pull the rug out from under her just before she fully regained her strength. My father would resume inflicting multiple types of abuse to break her again. They repeated this cycle numerous times over their 40+ year marriage.
I was groomed to be my mother's counselor, feeling like it was my responsibility to keep my mother alive and my mother and father together. I can remember at the age of 5, trying to keep mommy from killing herself due to the ongoing abuse by my father. I stayed in this role until my early 30's, and I have spent the last 26 years doing my best to recover from this trauma.
@Dr ramani replied Thank you Dr. Ramani for your reply. I have already subscribed and signed up for notifications. I am grateful for all the understanding and healing that you offer.
My husband did this until I stopped seeing him & visiting his little "Shack out back." He lives in what used to be a tool shed in a friend's Uncle's backyard since 2020 when he got kicked out of my dads house. He got very drunk, started mouthing off about my brother whom he doesn't like, slammed the bedroom door breaking the hinges off the wall then he & my dad are like doing a tug - a- war with the door & my dad got his finger hurt, The last time my husband hit me was with a broom stick handle hard, he would only turn abusive towards me in private & sometimes be verbally abusive to me around others which was soooo embarrassing & humiliating. He is too lazy to go find real work, he would rather sit on the computer all day/night doing online survey's for money/ rent money & play video games. I am so lonely & feel alone, but am glad that I don't have to hear him degrade me, look at me with that snare, abuse me in any way anymore.
I can't count the number of disgusting things I witnessed or experienced growing up. Still makes my skin crawl to think of it. I think the control was even worse than the physical abuse. It was years before I realized that it wasn't normal for a parent to be "checking up" on your finances as an adult or forcing their name onto your accounts. Isolation definitely stunted socialization and networking skills as well.
Sure
But I don't know who is not stalking me, worse, chasing me.
This is what happened to me, but I still try to find out who on earth followsme up everywhere in the world, and says probably horrible lies about me.
This is hell on earth, and they got my family involved, so I can't find the way out of this labyrinth.
God bless me and all people who go through this.
Thank u for explaining so well, in a human way and with patience, so we can all understand this.
Dr Ramani. I want to thank you for allowing me to trust my instincts and what I feel. I have made a tremendous amount of progress over the years and live a life of peace and prosperity. However, I often come back to your videos to remind myself what people are capable of. Recently, I have had red flags with my daughter's grade 1 teacher. I have been taught to routinely gaslight myself since I had a NPD parent but learnt to maintain and honour my boundaries. You told us to document everything. I fear this teacher has been bullying my child. I was able to catch it early. And although it is devastating for us as her parents I'm glad we were able to have all the evidence we need within 2 months. These people are everywhere and they will hurt anyone. You have helped our family.
I am quickly realizing how much of a high range narcissist my mother actually is. If I could leave I would.
I have a disability and my mother has been controlling and baiting and manipulating and gaslighting me since before I can remember. I'm in my 30's and she got guardianship when I was 18 before I understood the gravity of the situation. Now things are unpredictable and dangerous and everything has come to a head. She's going on a smear campaign because I'm speaking up for myself and trying to convince everybody that I'm manipulative and can't be trusted and that I'm just the opposite of the kind of person I actually am. I am trying to gray rock but it's tough when she's in a position of power.
Everything you're saying ticks the box Doctor Ramani, I hope you know that you're doing a great thing by educating the public about these very dangerous and terrifying people.
Hi Dr. Ramani, Thank you very much for educating us. I am wondering how to teach my children that not everyone is good natured, yet I don't want to scare them. Do you have any thoughts on preparing young people to recognize dangerous narcissists? Thank you!
Very, VERY good question, and truth to be told, probably one of the rasons I don’t want to bring kids into this world: coz of what I went through as. Child… total hell.
I've called the national domestic violence hotline several times. I've been hung up on twice. I was told they only deal with intimate partner abuse. I said your website talks about help with all abuse (narcisstic), that's when she hung up on me. I'm still trying to paddle through this mess. The abuse has affected every aspect of my life and I'm finding it difficult to even look for any legal help because of the betrayel by the system already. I love your videos, they help a lot.
I've called police after being assaulted by my landlord whom I had been on a couple of dates with. He smashed my laptop into my face, breaking the screen, splitting open my lip and cheek, and shov3d me to the ground. The cops told me to civilly sue him because the DV laws only apply to intimate partners. I'm bleeding, my computers smashed, the man had keys to my room as well as the house where I was renting. ZERO help from police, victims help line, women's shelter. I'm not young. After the cops left I went to the nearby station and swore out a complaint to the Sgt there, saying if I am found dead I want you to know who to look at since your officers didn't even take notes down. What a world.
This happened to me many times, when reaching out to the NDV. Never could get a hold of them 😞
This is a serious problem and potentially a deadly tragic one. It's discouraging.
I’m a rehabilitated paralegal of 35 years. I’m writing a book now to help victims walk through the court system, what EXACTLY to do to file in court, when to serve, how to serve, how to NOT get another narc for an attorney, how many judges are Narcs (they are not objective), and how to keep your costs very low when divorcing a narc. This stems from my 13 year ordeal with a high functioning/psycho narc through the hell that is the family court system.
I have helped many many friends navigate this minefield and, eerily, all narcs have the same freaking playbook.. they do the same thing in the same sequence at the same time. Is like the Mothership is communicating an algorithm to them all.
Police didn’t help me. Abuse hotline didn’t help me. Friends (I really didn’t have many left after him) jumped ship like rats. Family didn’t know what to do.
Unless you’ve lived it, you can’t know it.
I would have done many things differently. And they are not what you might imagine.
The system is very broken for sure. I know it can be hard to find the right help, I have had some bad experiences with certain crisis phone lines.
Think of each phone line as having its own work place culture. Some are going to overall be better than others. If you can try to call some general mental health or crisis phone lines outside of ur area, you could find one that is more consistently supportive.
In my experience, rape crisis phone lines have way better training, but less so if they are serving an area that is too big. For example, I’d rather call a phone line from a smaller town than a big city, but that may just be my own experience.
A truly good phone line will accept calls from outside of their area, so don’t give up. There are good ones out there, with trained professionals, with having unlearned a lot of enabling and are able to truly support people.
Don't forget the bullying neighbor. A relationship that most of us have no control over being in! I ended up selling my house after 2 years of living with such a neighbor across the street.
I have recently been using boundaries with a family member. I was always the scapegoat and truth teller, always felt so much responsibility and guilt with her. Wow her behavior has gotten much worse and she has escalated with her revenge. Triangulation big time with my siblings. My one sister isn't speaking to me after we had a good conversation. My aunts are estranged basically as she pushed them away and always stalks on facebook. She has created a wedge between me and my aunts. On and on it goes. Its getting much worse since I out up boundaries and she is vengeful. I'm just sick of it all.
"Is that a crucifix or a dagger you hold?" - Peter Gabriel
This doctor has helped me tremendously. I have learned to recognize so many different things about my previous relationship. My daughter's father is, I think, a malignant narcissist (possibly covert, not quite sure). And after learning even more from this channel, I think the guy i've been dating for about 6 months is a benign narcissist. I think i'm in serious trouble in today's dating world. I am convinced that I need to break it off with this new guy now that I know why I feel like the relationship is in a "stuck" place. And I will continue to learn about narcissistic behavior so I can avoid these types in my future. Thank you doctor for all your help... I will be watching your channel 😀💜
Get away ! You know the characteristics therefore you should know the outcomes of those relationships!
This is my father. To this day, the absolute scariest man I have ever encountered. My mother is highly narcissistic with a hair trigger, no empathy. Fire and ice. To say I grew up in a volatile home situation is a huge understatement. I was severely abused in every way possible. I have to down play stories of my childhood because of the look of terror on my friends faces when I tell stories. I grew up in a nightmare. But I have been no contact for 18 years. I have been through intense therapy. I have been studying everything I could get my hands on about narcissism and psychopathy. Your channel has gotten me through the pandemic - when I needed to “clean house” and remove some toxic covert friends from my life.
Knowledge and validation is why I’m still alive.
Knowing that your channel is a reliable source, not just based on someone’s one time experience with a narcissist. But a lifetime of working with and around these people. You are my go to. I recommend you to all my friends going through narcissistic abuse. Please don’t stop.
without any doubt you have described my mother and my 2 ex-husbands. Stalking....hateful words and actions...yes these people rule their victims through fear, intimidation and violence. I grew up in the atmosphere of violence from my mother and at the age of 19 went into the first marriage with the same personality as hers. The second marriage was even worse with more violence I feared for my life. I don't know except by the mercy of God how I survived. because there was no support in those days no safe haven You Dr. Ramani are an angel thank you for exposing and giving hope to so many suffering people.
Almost 6 months ago I was living with roommates who I thought were good friends but they turned out to be narcissist because I've been watching your videos often and now knew how to deal with the situation. Now that the situation has been remedied and I no longer live with these idiots I still share some of your post to other people on my social media because your information was very valid and informative thank you very much!
I’m so glad you got out!! And I’m happy Doctor Ramani’s videos offered you helpful insight 😊 god bless!
My dad has been gone 38 years, and yet as you gave the list I checked off every single 1. I sit here shaken and frozen. I don't know what to say or do in this moment. I feel physically ill.
My son in law moved so fast 24/7 in an assault of the very basic wellbeing of all of us, I had to start writing things down. He menaced, stalked, threatened, busted windshields, harassed, emotionally abused, physically abused. Then whined and cried when he was convicted of assaulting me. Get this! Saying he felt like he lost a "MOM"!!!! AND! Some even say, "but, he's a good father"! He only got 3 months to 2 years! Nothing like NORMALIZING ABUSE! NONE of them will ever hear from me or see me again. I am OUT!
You described my dad. Everyone walked on eggshells so as not to trigger a fit of rage. In another video you described the tactic of exploding before getting into the car then accusing everyone of ruining the mood of the day. My dad did that to my stepmother, me, and his two young daughters every day trip. One night my stepmom screamed for me to call the police as he was "trying to kill her". I called the police and she dropped charges and he came back in the house. I truly hate this evil and will not play the part of victim, silent child, or scape goat despite all the family perpetuating the lie in their heads. They can live in their own evil world. I will choose not to join them.
When I was still married to my ex narc, if someone I hadn’t met before came over for a visit, he would tell me what I could and couldn’t say before they got there. He had once lied to this guy about how much rent we paid for our place. It was double what was true. He warned me ahead of time to say this because it was what he had told this man. I guess it’s hard keeping your lies straight so he had to force me to cover for him. I obeyed because I would have been severely punished. This man that came over was as narcissistic as my man I guess. These people will make you crazy unless you get away. Just get away.
I grew up with a malignant narcissist. Very traumatic.
Coercive control is exactly what I got from my cult, isolation, constant surveillance/no privacy, abuse by proxy, constant humiliation and intimidation, and physical harm and vandalizing of my property. The isolation of not being able to explain to people who have already heard so many lies about my before even meeting me, and the harassment from people who think they know me because they heard a bunch of crap about me.
Thank you Dr. Ramani for putting the information out and letting us who are dealing with this crap know we are not alone.
I am taking on my malignant covert female narcissist. This person was also the pastor of my church and my boss, as I was an employee of the church. She does not scare me. I am aware of the danger I am walking into but I am not afraid… I will not stand down from her and all her flying monkeys. During the past two years I’ve been to hell and back and I can attest that hell hath no fury like a malignant covert female narcissist scorned. She’s a very powerful woman and still I don’t care. My life is not hers to break.
Thank you for all your work, Dr. Ramani. Thanks to you I’ve held onto my sanity. I’ve been an avid scholar of yours.