My therapist was challenged by my trauma and she went to classes to learn how to help me best. She has even learned EMDR because of me. I appreciate her so much!
It is so easy to find a therapist who takes a course in EMDR and calls themselves trauma-informed. It is sooooo hard to find a therapist that actually has some understanding of how a traumatized person is going to show up in therapy (differently than other patients) and what they will need--even just what they will need to feel safe enough to ever show up again! It is also sooo easy to be re-traumatized by even a single visit with a therapist who has no clue.
For someone diagnosed with DID, sadly being rejected by therapists and clinics because “it’s too much for me/us to handle” is getting upsettingly common by now. Even clinics that claim to be specialised in trauma therapy, as soon as they hear DID they close the doors on us. It’s really shattering how often seeking help ends up being simply a vain endeavour.
I’ve had several therapists turn me away because “my trauma was too much” They didn’t even refer me to another therapist. Thankfully 13 years later I have finally found a therapist who is willing to work with me. I’m so thankful for her.
I was raped repeatedly by a close family member from 11 to about 14/15. I remember some of the before and after but none of the during. Evidently, that was when I left, zoned out, disasociated. I have been in weekly therapy for a year and half. Prior to therapy, how I coped numbing my pains and emotions, was by suppressing them. I learned to do that very early in childhood. I had an incredibly difficult and abusive childhood in a blended family where my sibling all had their own toxic behaviors. I fawned, people pleased to keep the peace, was doing that right up until shortly into therapy a year and a half ago. Not diagnosed but maybe anorexic? I ate just enough to survive, maintaining my weight between 115-118. It wasn't until therapy that I started to pay attention to my body, I came to realized my eating patterns. I only ate when I felt okay, safe, when my nervous system was calmed. I was constantly in fight, flight, freeze mode and hypervigilant The first 5 months of weekly therapy (talk) became really intense as I was trauma dumping, it was causing me to become dysregulated. When I started noticing that, I told my therapist that I was trauma dumping, she quickly interupted me (she rarely ever did that), saying, no, you have a lot of traumas. I told her I was having dysregulated episodes at home. I was about to have a nerous breakdown before I started therapy but I managed to hold that off another 5 months. After that, I had to see a regular doctor to get a refferal to get in to see a psychiatrist. At that time, I weighed in at 111. I held back my tears. Now, still in therapy, doing some EMDR and parts work. I am nearly 4 months nicotine free, my weight at an all time high of 149, I feel great. I have received many compliments from others about my appearance this past month. I need to start doing crunches though, lol. I am almost 58 years old and I do bungee exercises. I can relate to so much of what you talked about in this episode kati, thank you!
In the uk. So with our limited NHS resources. I’ve been, in the past, incredibly fortunate to have been accepted for EMDR therapy. Not just one cycle. Over the course of 6 years, I was privileged to be allocated funding for 3 cycles. As unforeseen traumatic events triggered a significant fragmentation. It is without doubt the most harrowing, heartbreaking, terrifying, painful, challenging life altering experience I’ve ever had in my adult life. It is the only therapy that has ever worked effectively for me. I now volunteer my time online passing on work I did myself after each cycle to continue that great work and to encourage Brain to begin to heal and process as it should. Sending love and encouragement to all. ❤
This is soooo me with my new trauma therapist! Growing up, I was mocked for crying. I’m a Gen X’er and our entire generation is the “F*ck IT, F*ck YOU, F*ck THAT paradigm 😂
Shrinks in the 80, f**king sucked. All talk therapy ZERO coping skills taught, it was like being bullied by a paid adult... - I'm sure some of them tried/cared, but all they did was make me feel like MORE of a complete freak, and collect $$$$$$$$ from my parents. F**K them. Like treating a sunburn with napalm.... 40 years later I'm still completely F**ked
Thanks for answering my question (#6), Kati! I am going to read Eating in the Light of the Moon and look into switching to an eating disorder specialized therapist soon. I can’t thank you enough for your input and encouragement!
I have that book. My dad has read it but I haven’t. I just bought “The Body Keeps The Score”, a book about trauma…I’ve had it recommended multiple times.
I tried to get therapy for ptsd and essentially got denied because it was work related and instead they decided to engage in a massive medical gaslighting campaign! Because they think misdiagnoses gets them off the hook! And those are facts
I met with a psychiatrist today for the first time, after telling him my story and what is going on he told me that he could not ethically treat me. Trauma is a core of what is going on, but it is manifesting in a complex way and possibly serious comorbidities with a recent heart attack. He told me I need an integrated behavioral health team evaluation and gave me the phone numbers for three of the university hospitals in the area. He was a research fellow with the NIH and clinical fellow at McLean Hospital and UCSF. I feel like I was told I am too broken and am concerned these programs either are not taking new patients or my insurance will not approve any of these programs and I will not be able to get help. I don't know if I should be scared or impressed with this feat.
You shouldn’t feel anything and good job to the psych who said this is out of my range and that you just need more support bc your needs require a interdisciplinary approach. Bc some folks would say they could help and cause more harm.
You won’t know if this will be right for you or covered by insurance until you check. One step at a time. As for him knowing his limitations, to me it shows he wants you to get better, and knows it would be a waste of your time snd resources to work with him. You’re incredibly lucky to be near places that have what you need. Mental health help is so much easier to access today than even 30 years ago, so insurance covers a lot of different types of treatment. Good luck and never give up on yourself.
@@ADogNamedBoo I checked with insurance only ppo plans covered any on the universities, I called the insurance after I made an inpatient evaluation appointment with a referring hospital that would allow me to get in the university network, I was going to go in patient today. Based off the information, I fired my dpt talk therapist because he was so dismissive Tuesday and told me to not tell too many people about my symptoms. I fired him via voicemail, he called back agreeing with the psychiatrist with saying and integrated behavioral health team might be a good idea and I could qualify for a county case worker with what had going on.
Around 33:20 Kati talks about how the hard realities of our circumstances can lead us to pretend that traumatic events didn't happen, especially when we're kids & don't have the means to get away from the trauma I think it's also important to realize that in addition to pretending a traumatic event didn't happen, sometimes we can also acknowledge that it happened but pretend that it's normal-or maybe in certain cases we're not even pretending, because our experiences have taught us that it actually is normal & we just don't really know any better, or we don't have the capacity to understand & process that it wasn't normal In my experience I've found that it can be useful to reexamine memories, & perhaps explore them within the safety of the work we do with our therapists, because sometimes the kind of processing & healing that needs to happen will require having the perspective of another person-someone else who can point it out to us when something is a potential source of trauma that we've overlooked, simply because it never even occurred to us that the event or experience in question is unusual in the first place
I have found EMDR incredibly helpful for this. You reprocess it until the emotions are finally at a “0”. It becomes like watching a movie, you see what’s happening, but it doesn’t trigger emotions as though it’s actually happening.
In the uk. So with our limited NHS resources. I’ve been, in the past, incredibly fortunate to have been accepted for EMDR therapy. Not just one cycle. Over the course of 6 years, I was allocated funding for 3 cycles. As unforeseen traumatic events triggered a significant fragmentation. It is without doubt the most harrowing, heartbreaking, terrifying, painful, challenging life altering experience I’ve ever had in my adult life. It is the only therapy that has ever worked effectively for me. I now volunteer my time online passing on work I did myself after each cycle to continue that great work and to encourage Brain to begin to heal and process as it should. Sending love and encouragement to all. ❤
Similar. What work did you do yourself? I've done drama and art therapy, grounding techniques, breathing, meditation, journalling, sound baths, Women's group coffee mornings, volunteering helping others, various courses, learnt about narcisism and abuse and now started expressive writing. I had EMDR 20 years ago which worked really well. About to start another round and I've booked to see a somatic therapist. I struggle with comfort eating.
I recently called a trauma therapy group to get help. They were about 7 minutes into the intake, and told Me that the kind of therapy I needed was very expensive and they referred me to psychology today on UA-cam and wished Me well.
I had a therapist in my early 20's tell me she was unable to help me as I needed more help than she was equipped to deal with. I felt beyond helpless, like "I must be REALLY fucked up". Years later, I learned that she worked for the state and with cops (I was on my dad's insurance, who was an investigator, which is why she was one of the only therapists covered) who required therapy after traumatic occurrences like shootings, but that's not what she said. Looking back at it, it makes sense, but she could have explained it in a way that didn't make me feel like I was beyond help. I was eventually diagnosed with BPD, as well as other things, but I got into the right type of therapy and improved. Still improving. I'm entering my third year of college with a 3.72 GPA, majoring in psychology with a minor in sociology, with plans to go on to get my masters in counseling.
Some therapists are specialized in certain areas of mental health. Not all therapists are certified in trauma for example. It’s like going to your general practitioner but then they have to refer you to a specialist for additional testing.
@@Obekanobee Indeed. My issue was NOT with her having a specialty; it was that she did not explain that she had a specialty. "I cannot help you as this is outside my field of expertise, but here is someone that does specialize in the care you need" and "You need more than I can deal with" come across very differently which is where my frustration lies. I'm halfway through my bachelor's in psychology, with plans to get my master's in counseling to become a LPC. I have a much better understanding of it now. But it'll always remind me to elaborate things with clients so as to not leave them with any misunderstandings.
Ya, CPTSD, MDD ( not so much now ) and MAD ( much less now!). Also an ACE score of 9 with a disorganized fearful avoidant attachment style. NOT a badge of honor....I have just found that most therapists are afraid of having me as their client. They say it all the time. I wish I had a million dollars to afford the ' best' therapist out there.
@kevintheoculus2428. I'm so sorry you have all these mental health issues and sound like you are struggling I am Nikki a Kati Morton member and have been following and watching Kati s podcast for years I'm so sorry you have a fearful avodent attachment style and Cptsd I have social anxiety and depression sending my prayers and care your way🙏
@@nikkimckay860 these videos ARE real trauma therapy, hun! I think we could’ve been separated at birth based on your original comment! Never give up!! We believe in you, buddy!
Sadly 'too much trauma for therapy' is exactly what I heard repeatedly while trying to get help through public healthcare in the UK. Instead of directing me to someone qualified straight away, I was placed on waiting list after waiting list, only to be given a single appointment, usually with a newly-qualified therapist, with someone who would tell me they were only qualified to treat anxiety and depression, or only depression, or only simple PTSD and not complex, and then they'd refer me on to another waiting list. It took over two years to come to 'enough' of a crisis to get the local crisis team involved, who managed to get me help from someone who didn't immediately turn me away, and even then they had to refer me out to get the kind of help I really needed... and then the crisis team dumped me over the christmas holidays because you're only allowed to be in crisis for so long. --- At this point I think I have almost as much trauma as a result of trying to get help as I do from the original abuse. (Edited to add line breaks, because I realised it was a wall of text!)
About modalities not working: Ive been in therapy for 6 years. Everything modality she tried except Havening was too much because my system was so sensitive. I started somatic experiencing therapy. That was incredibly slow, but it's helping. I also just started primitive reflexes therapy which is helpful for calming down that infant fear reflex that wires your body for fight, flight, freeze. I also found out I'm on the spectrum which is also why I'm so sensitive. Some trauma just needs extra time to slowly introduce regulation to a body that lives in protection. ❤ If you can't handle a certain therapy that's telling you your system is very sensitive.
It's encouraging to see that you have developed and matured as an experienced psychologist. I imagine that this has helped with the idea of being an impostor that you used to have?
I have a trauma of near dying through suicide, I was so near to suicide that I was just going to commit it in my mind and then didn't but was really traumatized and then the indian actor commiting suicide news came and I thought he didn't have something (in terms of religion I think I had) and I thought that's why he ended up doing it because there was no reason or option left for him to not do it or end his pain. Because there was no hope of a place (home) where it will be not present anymore. And I also see somewhere writing that she too was affected by it and talking to a therapist about it, but I didn't have anyone to talk about it. And when I was taking free therapy from an organization the theraist given to a trauma patient was trainees and they too were changing, I had been transfered after one session to somebody else, she did try to treat my splitting mind at that time by making me create a safe place in my mind for my child self but she too abruptly end it and one time I told somebody I was getting suicidal or upset about what she said and replied upsettly to her and I think it hurted her ego so she transfered me to someone else and that person was just doing talking and talking like a friend or a chatter not doing something called therapy. I hear the lecture from someone many times when we process stories tears come firsts then words. And I think that had happened to me.
I also wanted to take therapy from this particular psychiatrist and I told her but she said her paying scale is high and I was going to ask my sister to pay for it but I don't what was the reason for her decision she either didn't want me as a patient or was aware of my sister financial condition. Either way she declined me and transferred to someone else whom I talked through chat, she ended it after 2-3 session, then that chatty therpaist came who find happiness and I m not judging her her doing that and finding happiness in it, she used to put status of her good review of previous clients.
I've had therapists I've approached for help, tell me that I've had my ed too long for them to help, even though they've all said they were specialised ed therapists... After 18 yrs I've almost given up hope, thou I would dearly love, one day, to not be anxious over every mouthful I eat, to not feel so weak all the time and to enjoy both food and exercise out of their relationship w calorie intake - hopefully in the future this can happen; I don't want to be 40 or 50 and still be like this 😩
Hi Kati, thanks for another great podcast. I was wondering if you can talk about repetitive body focused behaviors. Also talk more about the connection between eating disorders and ADHD
Yes, I agree!! I wasn’t even dx’d with ADHD until age 37! Back in my childhood days (I’m a 45 yr old Gen X’er), my Mama’s hand was my ADHD medication (wink wink)! But once I was formally dx’d, soooo much of my life made perfect sense!!
Ya its like blank papers in the mind files in our brains when we dissociate and almost never able to get those menories because the papers blank amd those days done Sometimes in very rare cases something might trigger something on to the blank paper and give us something from the missing sheet or sheets (i had that happen a fee times most of 2017 completely gone but every now and then something forms on one of those sheets) no time frame exactly sometimes something small like a shape or a sentence but its something
I am autistic and ended up with a good amount of friends with autism some antisocial like me others wanted to go out and have fun For autism it tends to be the same as any other the hardest thing for my autism sometimes the anexity or the ocd and you got a good amount of videos on how to deal with ocd and that worked when my ocd got bad at times For babies it might be different then older children as well and very low on the spectrum might be different (my friends tended to be middle lowish at the worst to high functioning)
I have a question about the "feel your feelings" episode. You were talking about anger and how it might last for a few minutes or a few hours. I can't sustain anger for very long but sadness, loneliness, grief, etc don't go away. They last and last and last and the only thing I can find to do is to ignore them. What do you do if the feelings don't go away?
For that eating junk stuff i picked up a trick from a youtuber i know named martin its never bring junk food into the house When ordering food online and doing very well with everything a single serving of junk food like a cookie or something as a treat Martin rewarded himself at a store and almost got a multipack thing to save money but thought about it and put it back right away and decided spend more money on a single reeces cup or something like that instead of the bag because in one sitting that bag probably gone without thinking about it This also works for me because i overeat on sweets when they tend to be around the house without it being sweets i tend to eat 0 To stop numbing out with food coloring works for me (dot to dots or the adult coloring book)
I know no one reads my posts but Thanks for the information I do feel sad for what you are are going through I do hope you all can find what you all are looking for Best wishes
So confused I thought my question was this week anyway loads of great mental health questions and of course Kati has just the right answers to your questions ❤😊
I make the jokes because it allowed me to keep friends without the jokes they stopped being my friends at a young age or didnt like the honesty about abuse (that came up once when i read harry potter with a friend because i explained thst certain things she claimed impossible i put out the truth that a good amount of that stuff happens) I stumbled upon a gamer youtuber who once ended up sleeping in a sort of like cupboard like harry potter and she hated it but the way things up set up she ended up there instead of her sister and her sister she said the more favorited one and thats what made it bad The cupboard the youtuber slept in actually sounded interesting the way to the bedroom through a cupboard like place issue a small space and shes a big girl and was at the time so hard for her to get to the bedroom but the room itself sort of like when people turn walk in closets into bedrooms and this room from what i remember also contained a closet so the room itself a decent size getting to it the issue
I found out I'm currently in a toxic but loving household with emotionally unavailable parents and ive been super down for a long time, i don't know what to do at all, im afraid to confront them. I can't really heal from pain thats being inflicted, yet im just numb
How can you overcome this trauma? Sometimes this feels like a lose battle. My background is when I was 7 years old. I was sexually abuse for around 4 years until, I was eleven years old by a woman.After that I wanted to hurt people because of that. My parents really never show me love. My father neglect me my whole childhood and even then, I am still searching for his approval. I was a loner is the school nobody wanted to hang up with me. They bullied me. I hated school, I could wait that to be over. Later in my life my mother got cancer and I was the only one taking care of her. Now my father is totally dependent on me. He is ill, he got diabetes and a stroke. And even then he does not show me any love or respect. Every time he can puts me down. No matter how hard I try, It is never enough for him. So how can I begin healing? Everyday it seems like a lost cause. I had already seen three psychologist and nothing changes. I still feel like shit. I still feel like I am not worthy. Is there any hope or everything is in vain????
I would rather a therapist say that they can’t handle me than to cause more harm. Or that level of trauma could be trigger some of their own issues. But I def can see how that feels as it’s not fun. It’s like going to a car mechanic to get blonde highlights.
I never got help. I am suicidal or was, and I was raped and abused and a lot of other stuff. And they told me it wasn't bad enough. Many of them blamed it on me. I have talked to so many and none of them help me.
I went to see a therapist because I experienced a lot of trauma in 2022. She saw me a few times I asked her what my diagnosis was or if she had one and she said it was BPD and then she released me and said I could come back if I needed to...huh????
I’d like to know too @nikkimckay860! I’m so new to trauma therapy and love Ms. Kati’s vids, but want to learn the most I can! I’m so happy I found this channel!!
My therapist in ED PHP wants me to do a trauma timeline…She doesn’t feel like I have processed half of what I have been through…! CFD is working on hopefully getting me admitted to a medical hospital first (I’m really physically sick…can’t do meal plan!), and then transfer to an IP ED program. Unfortunately it is probably going to be the same place I have already been 4 times before…thanks Medicare, you suck…!
She thinks I should do the trauma timeline while IP. Makes sense, I’ll have more 1:1 sessions while IP…I did NOT see my last 2 years ending up like this…!
Hello Kati Morton, My email doesn't work anymore but I have a lot of questions could you make a video about PTSD/ Trauma and how to deal with anger at God. I keep struggling with this but I feel too ashamed to talk about it with anyone please help!!!!!
I'm just medicated in treatment I admit I've experienced trauma. Hard life. Music and recreation help. So does study of psychology. Philanthropy helps. When helping the less fortunate one learns survival skills. The poor are often resilient Hobo philosophers. As for mental health This community is xenophobic. Hatemongers. Being mentally healthy in an Antisocial collective won't help
Autistic traumatized by nerotypical therapy... All Dr's and "medicine" are gaslighting to us. Thank you for your trauma informed advice for us 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Question: paramedics develop a dark humor over time when talking about their work. Is the same true for therapists? Like do they noch their patients when coming together or at a work function like omg this person is such a soft cry baby can't get it together
Most Therapists cannot handle most issues, difference is they all lie and say they can. At least that caller experienced a rare case of honesty in this sphere. Find someone else. Who can handle your trauma.
Absolutely, tired of being denied simple courtesy and consideration when showing up for therapy and staff is rude, inconsiderate and unprofessional. Maybe life is more than I thought it would be...???
Regarding the "too traumatized" segment: This is why permitting therapists to describe themselves as "trauma informed" is deceitful, a huge disservice to the public and essentially false advertising. The term is essentially meaningless because there is no agreed upon criteria. Shame on such an unscientific classification that would be considered malpractice in physical medicine. Psychology Today and other mental health provider search engines should set a standard for specific qualifications that include completion of trauma specific certifications, degrees, etc. If a therapist cannot handle all clients with PTSD/CPTSD, they are NOT a trauma therapist and are doing great harm to suffering clients, potentialy with fatal consequences. I've wasted so much time, seen so many "trauma informed" therapists who essentially blamed my lack if improvement on me. Recently, I finally located an actual, qualified trauma therapist who specializes in trauma. Emdr cerified, somstic therapy etc. I may be on the road to healing after 7 years of inept care.
Enjoy the pod. I would try a black mic it will esthetically flow more giving a more professional pod appearance. No shade at all just the gray mic is distracting lol well to me.
autism doesnt need to be treated. therapists should not be trying to change the way our minds work. its our trauma from being marginalized that needs to be validated. treat the trauma, not the neurotype. thank you for your consideration.
@maskedcritic. Good and interesting comment helpful too I can understand and relate to this iv had my share of feeling emotional and crying in front of people ❤
What about when my need and my goal were in seeking assistanc and advocacy to stop major abuse that my psyche team were aware of and witness to yet refused to adress or remove the abusers from my life
My therapist was challenged by my trauma and she went to classes to learn how to help me best. She has even learned EMDR because of me. I appreciate her so much!
That's wonderful! I'm so happy she cares so much about your mental health that she goes the extra mile! Or, in her case, a whole football field! 😄
That is amazing!
It is so easy to find a therapist who takes a course in EMDR and calls themselves trauma-informed. It is sooooo hard to find a therapist that actually has some understanding of how a traumatized person is going to show up in therapy (differently than other patients) and what they will need--even just what they will need to feel safe enough to ever show up again! It is also sooo easy to be re-traumatized by even a single visit with a therapist who has no clue.
For someone diagnosed with DID, sadly being rejected by therapists and clinics because “it’s too much for me/us to handle” is getting upsettingly common by now.
Even clinics that claim to be specialised in trauma therapy, as soon as they hear DID they close the doors on us.
It’s really shattering how often seeking help ends up being simply a vain endeavour.
Excuse humor please. My other identity has a few girlfriends. Models. I'm missing out.
Humor
That's disturbing. They only want to help easy people and make way too much money for it
I’ve had several therapists turn me away because “my trauma was too much” They didn’t even refer me to another therapist.
Thankfully 13 years later I have finally found a therapist who is willing to work with me. I’m so thankful for her.
I was raped repeatedly by a close family member from 11 to about 14/15. I remember some of the before and after but none of the during. Evidently, that was when I left, zoned out, disasociated. I have been in weekly therapy for a year and half. Prior to therapy, how I coped numbing my pains and emotions, was by suppressing them. I learned to do that very early in childhood. I had an incredibly difficult and abusive childhood in a blended family where my sibling all had their own toxic behaviors. I fawned, people pleased to keep the peace, was doing that right up until shortly into therapy a year and a half ago.
Not diagnosed but maybe anorexic? I ate just enough to survive, maintaining my weight between 115-118. It wasn't until therapy that I started to pay attention to my body, I came to realized my eating patterns. I only ate when I felt okay, safe, when my nervous system was calmed. I was constantly in fight, flight, freeze mode and hypervigilant
The first 5 months of weekly therapy (talk) became really intense as I was trauma dumping, it was causing me to become dysregulated. When I started noticing that, I told my therapist that I was trauma dumping, she quickly interupted me (she rarely ever did that), saying, no, you have a lot of traumas. I told her I was having dysregulated episodes at home. I was about to have a nerous breakdown before I started therapy but I managed to hold that off another 5 months. After that, I had to see a regular doctor to get a refferal to get in to see a psychiatrist. At that time, I weighed in at 111. I held back my tears.
Now, still in therapy, doing some EMDR and parts work. I am nearly 4 months nicotine free, my weight at an all time high of 149, I feel great. I have received many compliments from others about my appearance this past month. I need to start doing crunches though, lol. I am almost 58 years old and I do bungee exercises.
I can relate to so much of what you talked about in this episode kati, thank you!
In the uk. So with our limited NHS resources. I’ve been, in the past, incredibly fortunate to have been accepted for EMDR therapy. Not just one cycle. Over the course of 6 years, I was privileged to be allocated funding for 3 cycles. As unforeseen traumatic events triggered a significant fragmentation. It is without doubt the most harrowing, heartbreaking, terrifying, painful, challenging life altering experience I’ve ever had in my adult life. It is the only therapy that has ever worked effectively for me. I now volunteer my time online passing on work I did myself after each cycle to continue that great work and to encourage Brain to begin to heal and process as it should. Sending love and encouragement to all. ❤
This is soooo me with my new trauma therapist! Growing up, I was mocked for crying. I’m a Gen X’er and our entire generation is the “F*ck IT, F*ck YOU, F*ck THAT paradigm 😂
Same 💚
@@tymo9288 you’re a Warrior, then! We were the feral generation! lol
We didn’t get raised up, we got jerked tf up!
@@gypsyfiresign1064 Gen X here, Preach!
Shrinks in the 80, f**king sucked. All talk therapy ZERO coping skills taught, it was like being bullied by a paid adult...
- I'm sure some of them tried/cared, but all they did was make me feel like MORE of a complete freak, and collect $$$$$$$$ from my parents.
F**K them.
Like treating a sunburn with napalm.... 40 years later I'm still completely F**ked
Same here! 😂😂😂
Thanks for answering my question (#6), Kati! I am going to read Eating in the Light of the Moon and look into switching to an eating disorder specialized therapist soon. I can’t thank you enough for your input and encouragement!
I have that book. My dad has read it but I haven’t. I just bought “The Body Keeps The Score”, a book about trauma…I’ve had it recommended multiple times.
I tried to get therapy for ptsd and essentially got denied because it was work related and instead they decided to engage in a massive medical gaslighting campaign! Because they think misdiagnoses gets them off the hook! And those are facts
I met with a psychiatrist today for the first time, after telling him my story and what is going on he told me that he could not ethically treat me. Trauma is a core of what is going on, but it is manifesting in a complex way and possibly serious comorbidities with a recent heart attack. He told me I need an integrated behavioral health team evaluation and gave me the phone numbers for three of the university hospitals in the area. He was a research fellow with the NIH and clinical fellow at McLean Hospital and UCSF. I feel like I was told I am too broken and am concerned these programs either are not taking new patients or my insurance will not approve any of these programs and I will not be able to get help. I don't know if I should be scared or impressed with this feat.
You shouldn’t feel anything and good job to the psych who said this is out of my range and that you just need more support bc your needs require a interdisciplinary approach. Bc some folks would say they could help and cause more harm.
You won’t know if this will be right for you or covered by insurance until you check. One step at a time. As for him knowing his limitations, to me it shows he wants you to get better, and knows it would be a waste of your time snd resources to work with him. You’re incredibly lucky to be near places that have what you need. Mental health help is so much easier to access today than even 30 years ago, so insurance covers a lot of different types of treatment. Good luck and never give up on yourself.
@@ADogNamedBoo I checked with insurance only ppo plans covered any on the universities, I called the insurance after I made an inpatient evaluation appointment with a referring hospital that would allow me to get in the university network, I was going to go in patient today. Based off the information, I fired my dpt talk therapist because he was so dismissive Tuesday and told me to not tell too many people about my symptoms. I fired him via voicemail, he called back agreeing with the psychiatrist with saying and integrated behavioral health team might be a good idea and I could qualify for a county case worker with what had going on.
Around 33:20 Kati talks about how the hard realities of our circumstances can lead us to pretend that traumatic events didn't happen, especially when we're kids & don't have the means to get away from the trauma
I think it's also important to realize that in addition to pretending a traumatic event didn't happen, sometimes we can also acknowledge that it happened but pretend that it's normal-or maybe in certain cases we're not even pretending, because our experiences have taught us that it actually is normal & we just don't really know any better, or we don't have the capacity to understand & process that it wasn't normal
In my experience I've found that it can be useful to reexamine memories, & perhaps explore them within the safety of the work we do with our therapists, because sometimes the kind of processing & healing that needs to happen will require having the perspective of another person-someone else who can point it out to us when something is a potential source of trauma that we've overlooked, simply because it never even occurred to us that the event or experience in question is unusual in the first place
Thanks to all of you who asked these questions. I'm sorry for what you out there have been/are going through
I have found EMDR incredibly helpful for this. You reprocess it until the emotions are finally at a “0”. It becomes like watching a movie, you see what’s happening, but it doesn’t trigger emotions as though it’s actually happening.
In the uk. So with our limited NHS resources. I’ve been, in the past, incredibly fortunate to have been accepted for EMDR therapy. Not just one cycle. Over the course of 6 years, I was allocated funding for 3 cycles. As unforeseen traumatic events triggered a significant fragmentation. It is without doubt the most harrowing, heartbreaking, terrifying, painful, challenging life altering experience I’ve ever had in my adult life. It is the only therapy that has ever worked effectively for me. I now volunteer my time online passing on work I did myself after each cycle to continue that great work and to encourage Brain to begin to heal and process as it should. Sending love and encouragement to all. ❤
Similar. What work did you do yourself? I've done drama and art therapy, grounding techniques, breathing, meditation, journalling, sound baths, Women's group coffee mornings, volunteering helping others, various courses, learnt about narcisism and abuse and now started expressive writing. I had EMDR 20 years ago which worked really well. About to start another round and I've booked to see a somatic therapist. I struggle with comfort eating.
I recently called a trauma therapy group to get help. They were about 7 minutes into the intake, and told Me that the kind of therapy I needed was very expensive and they referred me to psychology today on UA-cam and wished Me well.
You always pick such thoughtful and helpful topics!
Oh thank you!
I had a therapist in my early 20's tell me she was unable to help me as I needed more help than she was equipped to deal with. I felt beyond helpless, like "I must be REALLY fucked up". Years later, I learned that she worked for the state and with cops (I was on my dad's insurance, who was an investigator, which is why she was one of the only therapists covered) who required therapy after traumatic occurrences like shootings, but that's not what she said. Looking back at it, it makes sense, but she could have explained it in a way that didn't make me feel like I was beyond help.
I was eventually diagnosed with BPD, as well as other things, but I got into the right type of therapy and improved. Still improving. I'm entering my third year of college with a 3.72 GPA, majoring in psychology with a minor in sociology, with plans to go on to get my masters in counseling.
Some therapists are specialized in certain areas of mental health. Not all therapists are certified in trauma for example. It’s like going to your general practitioner but then they have to refer you to a specialist for additional testing.
@@Obekanobee Indeed. My issue was NOT with her having a specialty; it was that she did not explain that she had a specialty. "I cannot help you as this is outside my field of expertise, but here is someone that does specialize in the care you need" and "You need more than I can deal with" come across very differently which is where my frustration lies.
I'm halfway through my bachelor's in psychology, with plans to get my master's in counseling to become a LPC. I have a much better understanding of it now. But it'll always remind me to elaborate things with clients so as to not leave them with any misunderstandings.
All the best!!
Ya, CPTSD, MDD ( not so much now ) and MAD ( much less now!). Also an ACE score of 9 with a disorganized fearful avoidant attachment style. NOT a badge of honor....I have just found that most therapists are afraid of having me as their client. They say it all the time. I wish I had a million dollars to afford the ' best' therapist out there.
@kevintheoculus2428. I'm so sorry you have all these mental health issues and sound like you are struggling I am Nikki a Kati Morton member and have been following and watching Kati s podcast for years I'm so sorry you have a fearful avodent attachment style and Cptsd I have social anxiety and depression sending my prayers and care your way🙏
@@nikkimckay860 Well that is very nice of you to say...just navigating the best way to afford ' REAL ' trauma professional care here in B.C. Canada.
@@kevintheoculus2428 you are welcome 🙏😊I hope you manage to find and get the trauma professional care you want and need
@@nikkimckay860 these videos ARE real trauma therapy, hun! I think we could’ve been separated at birth based on your original comment! Never give up!! We believe in you, buddy!
Sadly 'too much trauma for therapy' is exactly what I heard repeatedly while trying to get help through public healthcare in the UK. Instead of directing me to someone qualified straight away, I was placed on waiting list after waiting list, only to be given a single appointment, usually with a newly-qualified therapist, with someone who would tell me they were only qualified to treat anxiety and depression, or only depression, or only simple PTSD and not complex, and then they'd refer me on to another waiting list.
It took over two years to come to 'enough' of a crisis to get the local crisis team involved, who managed to get me help from someone who didn't immediately turn me away, and even then they had to refer me out to get the kind of help I really needed... and then the crisis team dumped me over the christmas holidays because you're only allowed to be in crisis for so long.
--- At this point I think I have almost as much trauma as a result of trying to get help as I do from the original abuse.
(Edited to add line breaks, because I realised it was a wall of text!)
About modalities not working: Ive been in therapy for 6 years. Everything modality she tried except Havening was too much because my system was so sensitive. I started somatic experiencing therapy. That was incredibly slow, but it's helping. I also just started primitive reflexes therapy which is helpful for calming down that infant fear reflex that wires your body for fight, flight, freeze. I also found out I'm on the spectrum which is also why I'm so sensitive.
Some trauma just needs extra time to slowly introduce regulation to a body that lives in protection. ❤
If you can't handle a certain therapy that's telling you your system is very sensitive.
Thank you so much for the information on enmeshment. Your videos are so helpful.
It's encouraging to see that you have developed and matured as an experienced psychologist. I imagine that this has helped with the idea of being an impostor that you used to have?
I have a trauma of near dying through suicide, I was so near to suicide that I was just going to commit it in my mind and then didn't but was really traumatized and then the indian actor commiting suicide news came and I thought he didn't have something (in terms of religion I think I had) and I thought that's why he ended up doing it because there was no reason or option left for him to not do it or end his pain. Because there was no hope of a place (home) where it will be not present anymore.
And I also see somewhere writing that she too was affected by it and talking to a therapist about it, but I didn't have anyone to talk about it.
And when I was taking free therapy from an organization the theraist given to a trauma patient was trainees and they too were changing, I had been transfered after one session to somebody else, she did try to treat my splitting mind at that time by making me create a safe place in my mind for my child self but she too abruptly end it and one time I told somebody I was getting suicidal or upset about what she said and replied upsettly to her and I think it hurted her ego so she transfered me to someone else and that person was just doing talking and talking like a friend or a chatter not doing something called therapy.
I hear the lecture from someone many times when we process stories tears come firsts then words. And I think that had happened to me.
I also wanted to take therapy from this particular psychiatrist and I told her but she said her paying scale is high and I was going to ask my sister to pay for it but I don't what was the reason for her decision she either didn't want me as a patient or was aware of my sister financial condition. Either way she declined me and transferred to someone else whom I talked through chat, she ended it after 2-3 session, then that chatty therpaist came who find happiness and I m not judging her her doing that and finding happiness in it, she used to put status of her good review of previous clients.
I've had therapists I've approached for help, tell me that I've had my ed too long for them to help, even though they've all said they were specialised ed therapists... After 18 yrs I've almost given up hope, thou I would dearly love, one day, to not be anxious over every mouthful I eat, to not feel so weak all the time and to enjoy both food and exercise out of their relationship w calorie intake - hopefully in the future this can happen; I don't want to be 40 or 50 and still be like this 😩
Hi Kati, thanks for another great podcast. I was wondering if you can talk about repetitive body focused behaviors. Also talk more about the connection between eating disorders and ADHD
Yes, I agree!! I wasn’t even dx’d with ADHD until age 37! Back in my childhood days (I’m a 45 yr old Gen X’er), my Mama’s hand was my ADHD medication (wink wink)! But once I was formally dx’d, soooo much of my life made perfect sense!!
Ya its like blank papers in the mind files in our brains when we dissociate and almost never able to get those menories because the papers blank amd those days done
Sometimes in very rare cases something might trigger something on to the blank paper and give us something from the missing sheet or sheets (i had that happen a fee times most of 2017 completely gone but every now and then something forms on one of those sheets) no time frame exactly sometimes something small like a shape or a sentence but its something
I am autistic and ended up with a good amount of friends with autism some antisocial like me others wanted to go out and have fun
For autism it tends to be the same as any other the hardest thing for my autism sometimes the anexity or the ocd and you got a good amount of videos on how to deal with ocd and that worked when my ocd got bad at times
For babies it might be different then older children as well and very low on the spectrum might be different (my friends tended to be middle lowish at the worst to high functioning)
I have a question about the "feel your feelings" episode. You were talking about anger and how it might last for a few minutes or a few hours. I can't sustain anger for very long but sadness, loneliness, grief, etc don't go away. They last and last and last and the only thing I can find to do is to ignore them. What do you do if the feelings don't go away?
I have spina bifida too. Advocate for yourself! Always
For that eating junk stuff i picked up a trick from a youtuber i know named martin its never bring junk food into the house
When ordering food online and doing very well with everything a single serving of junk food like a cookie or something as a treat
Martin rewarded himself at a store and almost got a multipack thing to save money but thought about it and put it back right away and decided spend more money on a single reeces cup or something like that instead of the bag because in one sitting that bag probably gone without thinking about it
This also works for me because i overeat on sweets when they tend to be around the house without it being sweets i tend to eat 0
To stop numbing out with food coloring works for me (dot to dots or the adult coloring book)
I hope you're okay Kati, you seemed a little choked up in this video. Sending love your way 💕
Being able to finally say i know they wont like this but i know its necessary for me was when my life finally changed.
That's profound! I'm gonna use that!
I know no one reads my posts but Thanks for the information I do feel sad for what you are are going through
I do hope you all can find what you all are looking for
Best wishes
So confused I thought my question was this week anyway loads of great mental health questions and of course Kati has just the right answers to your questions ❤😊
I make the jokes because it allowed me to keep friends without the jokes they stopped being my friends at a young age or didnt like the honesty about abuse (that came up once when i read harry potter with a friend because i explained thst certain things she claimed impossible i put out the truth that a good amount of that stuff happens)
I stumbled upon a gamer youtuber who once ended up sleeping in a sort of like cupboard like harry potter and she hated it but the way things up set up she ended up there instead of her sister and her sister she said the more favorited one and thats what made it bad
The cupboard the youtuber slept in actually sounded interesting the way to the bedroom through a cupboard like place issue a small space and shes a big girl and was at the time so hard for her to get to the bedroom but the room itself sort of like when people turn walk in closets into bedrooms and this room from what i remember also contained a closet so the room itself a decent size getting to it the issue
Thankyou,you helped me with trauma and eating disorders.I still sometimes wonder that you may still be stuck in the public sector.
I've learned sooooo much!. ( I used to laugh & making jokes) Now,,, I cry. ? Am I so hurt!?😮
I found out I'm currently in a toxic but loving household with emotionally unavailable parents and ive been super down for a long time, i don't know what to do at all, im afraid to confront them. I can't really heal from pain thats being inflicted, yet im just numb
Why is it so difficult to validate for ourselves?
How can you overcome this trauma? Sometimes this feels like a lose battle. My background is when I was 7 years old. I was sexually abuse for around 4 years until, I was eleven years old by a woman.After that I wanted to hurt people because of that. My parents really never show me love. My father neglect me my whole childhood and even then, I am still searching for his approval. I was a loner is the school nobody wanted to hang up with me. They bullied me. I hated school, I could wait that to be over. Later in my life my mother got cancer and I was the only one taking care of her. Now my father is totally dependent on me. He is ill, he got diabetes and a stroke. And even then he does not show me any love or respect. Every time he can puts me down. No matter how hard I try, It is never enough for him. So how can I begin healing? Everyday it seems like a lost cause. I had already seen three psychologist and nothing changes. I still feel like shit. I still feel like I am not worthy. Is there any hope or everything is in vain????
Hello! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Thank you
I would rather a therapist say that they can’t handle me than to cause more harm. Or that level of trauma could be trigger some of their own issues. But I def can see how that feels as it’s not fun. It’s like going to a car mechanic to get blonde highlights.
Listening to this 1min and 10 seconds I get panic feelings
Kati, are you abroad this week and setting times for your uploads?
I noticed that with the topic video too
I never got help. I am suicidal or was, and I was raped and abused and a lot of other stuff. And they told me it wasn't bad enough. Many of them blamed it on me. I have talked to so many and none of them help me.
I'm kind of shocked to find out this channel uploads so frequently
I went to see a therapist because I experienced a lot of trauma in 2022. She saw me a few times I asked her what my diagnosis was or if she had one and she said it was BPD and then she released me and said I could come back if I needed to...huh????
Wednesday podcast 🎉❤
@ryannesumbry4130. Hello can I just ask I thought Kati did her AKA podcast on a Thursday I get so confused 😕
I’d like to know too @nikkimckay860! I’m so new to trauma therapy and love Ms. Kati’s vids, but want to learn the most I can! I’m so happy I found this channel!!
My therapist in ED PHP wants me to do a trauma timeline…She doesn’t feel like I have processed half of what I have been through…! CFD is working on hopefully getting me admitted to a medical hospital first (I’m really physically sick…can’t do meal plan!), and then transfer to an IP ED program. Unfortunately it is probably going to be the same place I have already been 4 times before…thanks Medicare, you suck…!
She thinks I should do the trauma timeline while IP. Makes sense, I’ll have more 1:1 sessions while IP…I did NOT see my last 2 years ending up like this…!
You are brilliant and a beautiful soul. I’m so grateful I found you! Thank you for what you do. ❤️🩹☮️
Hello Kati Morton, My email doesn't work anymore but I have a lot of questions could you make a video about PTSD/ Trauma and how to deal with anger at God. I keep struggling with this but I feel too ashamed to talk about it with anyone please help!!!!!
I'm just medicated in treatment
I admit I've experienced trauma.
Hard life.
Music and recreation help. So does study of psychology.
Philanthropy helps.
When helping the less fortunate one learns survival skills.
The poor are often resilient
Hobo philosophers.
As for mental health
This community is xenophobic. Hatemongers.
Being mentally healthy in an Antisocial collective won't help
Autistic traumatized by nerotypical therapy... All Dr's and "medicine" are gaslighting to us. Thank you for your trauma informed advice for us 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I didn't know I was disassociation when I leave my therapist and go to class!!!!!.??????😮 It's not her it's me.... Y?????.
Question: paramedics develop a dark humor over time when talking about their work. Is the same true for therapists? Like do they noch their patients when coming together or at a work function like omg this person is such a soft cry baby can't get it together
Most Therapists cannot handle most issues, difference is they all lie and say they can. At least that caller experienced a rare case of honesty in this sphere. Find someone else. Who can handle your trauma.
Absolutely, tired of being denied simple courtesy and consideration when showing up for therapy and staff is rude, inconsiderate and unprofessional. Maybe life is more than I thought it would be...???
Regarding the "too traumatized" segment:
This is why permitting therapists to describe themselves as "trauma informed" is deceitful, a huge disservice to the public and essentially false advertising. The term is essentially meaningless because there is no agreed upon criteria. Shame on such an unscientific classification that would be considered malpractice in physical medicine. Psychology Today and other mental health provider search engines should set a standard for specific qualifications that include completion of trauma specific certifications, degrees, etc. If a therapist cannot handle all clients with PTSD/CPTSD, they are NOT a trauma therapist and are doing great harm to suffering clients, potentialy with fatal consequences. I've wasted so much time, seen so many "trauma informed" therapists who essentially blamed my lack if improvement on me. Recently, I finally located an actual, qualified trauma therapist who specializes in trauma. Emdr cerified, somstic therapy etc. I may be on the road to healing after 7 years of inept care.
hi my question is personal, I can't explain in this ,,is vary personal please keep this very private please!! Manny
Enjoy the pod. I would try a black mic it will esthetically flow more giving a more professional pod appearance. No shade at all just the gray mic is distracting lol well to me.
autism doesnt need to be treated. therapists should not be trying to change the way our minds work. its our trauma from being marginalized that needs to be validated. treat the trauma, not the neurotype. thank you for your consideration.
Well said!
GIVE A EMAIL PLEASE!!!
Why is crying in front of people a goal? It’s a weak emotion
That means you do not deal with your emotions and you might end up with borderline personality disorder
I have BPD... I cry in front of people, not all the time but can.@@ihartevil
@maskedcritic. Good and interesting comment helpful too I can understand and relate to this iv had my share of feeling emotional and crying in front of people ❤
Crying and feeling emotional does not make a person weak in my opinion it means they feel deeply about Meany things ❤
Crying doesn’t mean a person is weak. ❤ it’s healing to cry, even though I do get embarrassed still when I cry in front of people.
What about when my need and my goal were in seeking assistanc and advocacy to stop major abuse that my psyche team were aware of and witness to yet refused to adress or remove the abusers from my life