And then Andrew Ryan played by Ryan Reynolds proceeded to shoot electricity out of his eyes and says "Now you understand, you are being BIOSHOCKED!", then proceeds to shock protagonist played by Chris Pratt all over the place.
The movies tagline is "Would you kindly" which is contextless, ruins/confirms the twist and thus disallows any interesting changes and means nothing as a tagline. Perfect. Maisie Williams plays the little sister, singular. Edit: Dave Bautista or The Rock play the Big Daddy who isnt fully suited and will just be a big guy welded into a diving suit and he'll look more like he's Isaac from Dead Space. Welcome to my ultra nightmare, motherf*cker.
*_Throws an electric eel at the villain_* "I guess you could say he was... Bio-shocked." *_Puts on sunglasses and vanishes with the invisibility plasmid that probably exists, right?_*
@@fimmywa unironically if that BioShock movie ever happens (I recall there being talk about it a while back), I really hope they don't make an adaptation and especially hope the people making it understand things enough to not use the "would you kindly" line or twist. In addition to being cheap fanservice it functionally does not work or at least wouldn't hit as hard in the context of a movie; at best it'd be a predictable element of a plot (if it's a direct adaptation with Jimmy as a character), at worst it'd probably come across as a random and nonsensical ass-pull to people who haven't played the game or know one of the biggest twists in video game history.
Me and a friend of mine went to see this movie together one night. It was about 2 weeks after it released, and we went to the really cheap, shitty theater in the middle of town. He was a big Borderlands fan (I've only played a little bit of the first game, so I only knew some of the basics) but we both knew it was going to be really, really bad. When we walked into the theater, the place was a complete ghost town. No other customers or anything, just us. There was a lone employee at the concessions stand, who was also doubling as the ticket guy. We walked up and proudly asked for "two tickets to Borderlands!" He laughed at us, and then we went to our screening room, which was at the very, very corner of the theater. The whole place was kind of in disrepair, none of the signs that displayed the movie were working, the lights were flickering, and the floors were stained, etc. The hallways felt like a labyrinth as we tried to find where we were going. When we walked into the screening room, it was, sure enough, completely abandoned. The room was oddly humid, and smelled faintly of piss, befitting of the piss-take of a movie we were about to witness. We picked some seats up near the top and sat down. The seats felt damp, and the floor around us was sticky, as were the armrests. As the previews came to an end, not another soul entered the theater; it was just us two, all alone. We vocally asked multiple times during the first minute of the movie if anybody else was there. We got no response. We proceeded to spend the runtime of the movie yelling at the screen, making shitty jokes, asking questions about what was even happening, and generally just being obnoxious. I had a bit where every time something stupid happened (frequently), I would stand up, and vault off the railing down to the ground. My friend continuously explained to me everything that was wrong with the film lore wise. As we continued, the jokes started to slow down, and we instead began to become actively annoyed at how absolutely dogshit the film was. We just kept looking back at each other and asking ourselves how something like this even got made. Near the end, during the climax where Lilith uses her Firehawk powers, we just started dying laughing. It was so poorly paced, so poorly put together, so poorly foreshadowed, that we finally broke down. We could do nothing but laugh at the absurdity. I haven't laughed as hard I did while watching this movie since. When the movie was over, the janitor came in to see if he needed to clean up, and on the way out I told him that the movie was horrible. He laughed, said he knew exactly what we were talking about since he was also a Borderlands fan, and then the three of us talked about how much we hated Randy Pitchford. Me and my friend got McDonalds on the way back. Unironically, one of the best nights of my life. We watched a horrible movie in a dingy, run down theater, screaming obscenities at the screen and dying from laughter. I wouldn't change a single thing about that night.
Congrats on writing that in such a way that I wasn't sure if it would be a creepypasta or not halfway through. I thought that a giant Randy head would appear on the screen with hyper realistic grease bleeding from its eyes and the theater would start to flood.
The kid who played Sharkboy, Taylor Lautner (who lets out a censored "bitch" in the film, by the way) also played Jacob in the Twilight movies. You can't make this shit up.
I work at a movie theater. We get employee screenings of movies the night before they premiere for free. 6 of us showed up to Borderlands. I've worked here about three years and it's the only employee screening where there were walkouts. 3 of us left by the halfway mark and I wish I had joined them. We saw the movie for free but it robbed us of something greater than money.
Well, the good news is, the next movie you see that's merely bad... won't seem so terrible by comparison! "Yeah, this is _kind of_ crappy, but it's no Borderlands Movie, I'll tell you that much!"
Kevin Hart hurted the must. Dude literally doesn't know who his character is, he gave one of the most vague character descriptions i have ever heard in my life, I don't think he even said something specific about it.
The Stoklasa test: Describe a character without mentioning abilities, role or appearence, and avoid plot points The depth of the character dictates how long you can go on
Nothing screams "confused" more than the fact that they got Eli Roth to direct an adaptation of a game known for being pretty violent and crude, yet they gave it a PG-13 rating.
It should've been CG animated so they could have the OG voice actors and save that girl the horrendous bullying and harassment she'll probably get because of this.
It feels eerily similar to the situation Ahmed Best, the actor for Jar Jar Binks. Only he at the very least had George Lucas in his corner giving him support.
There are videos about Battleborn,, plus the official Battleborn Boot camp trailer gives a good run down of the game, plus the MadLads from the Battleborn Community made a mod that lets you play the game offline. That said, out of the Three Major May 2016 releases, Magnificent and Metal Doom and Fun Hilarious and underated Battleborn were my choices. IF Gearbox was smart, they would relaunch Battleborn with a offline mode for Story and PVP VS Bots, with server hosting for Story mode COOP and PVP, and a PROPER Free2Play version called Battleborn Shareware Edition with the Dojo, Prologue Chapter 1 and a random chapter plus PVP, plus random Battleborn's Crew rotation as a surefire way to compete now in the Hero Shooter games Market as a FPS MOBA with a story mode.
@@KalHimself The biggest issue with Battleborn is that it couldn't compete at the time against Paladins, Overwatch and Team Fortress 2's newest updates (oh god it was that long ago)
"Video game fans will recognize this gun from the game" ... Game has 100000000 different randomly assigned guns casually being thrown onto the ground like pinata prizes that children then fight over and ditch the liquorish guns ...
Sure, but the Legendary Guns ARE the most distinct, and seeing the infinity makes sense, it's pretty well known. But god...the guns were so boring in the movie.
And the Infinity is easily one of the most iconic guns in the series If you care even a little about Borderlands 2 then you probably know that gun A gun called Infinity that has infinite ammo and shoots in an infinity pattern is pretty memorable and was always super popular.
"Yeah, but everybody knows that one gun with a 12% drop chance from this one enemy that people farm boringly because it's a thing that you do in Borderlands if you're a Borderlands guy!" -Borderlands guys, I guess
Am working at a movie theater and when this came out unsurprisingly pretty much nobody wanted to see it. Attendance was extremely low. Literally had a guy say he knew the movie was terrible and only wanted to see it for something to laugh at. Genuinely the only thing people were excited about when it came to this movie was the admittedly top notch Claptrap popcorn bucket
@@LeeSixTwenty I'd rather ask; "why turn Borderlands into a movie?" I know that the only reason to turn a piece of fiction from one media to another is money, but Borderlands feels like a pretty odd choice to me. The game is just about shooting things while characters spout unfunny jokes. I don't think there's that much there to begin with and it's going to be costly if you want the film to look like the game. The timing doesn't feel right either. Maybe it was a contractual obligation hell.
It's funny how Jack Black went from being seen as the savior of the Mario movie to having almost as little dignity as Dwayne Johnson within the space of a year. I get that he has passion and just likes having fun in his roles, but people are starting to realize that he's been playing the same character ever since School of Rock, and it's starting to grate.
Just like Mike Myers. Same one note jokes. Same song and dance we've seen ten thousand times. Where it took longer for Jack Black to turn into a total grease fire.
My operating theory about this movie is that Randy rigged most of the main cast up with Suicide Squad bomb collars and that's how they got all these actors to sign on for this.
Cate Blanchett said she accepted the job during lockdown when she was going stir crazy just for something to do, (according to her, she was trying to prune a hedge with a chainsaw). She also mentioned the script she signed up for was *very* different from what was shot and released.
Jack is pretty well thought-out. He's a cult leader; when you distill it down to just it's base he's a charismatic guy whom wants to think for others because they are literally below him in his eyes, and above all else his ego is projected onto everything he touches. Randy *wishes* he was Jack.
randy's so greasy the camera crew had to put rain covers over the cameras even though everything was shot indoors randy's so greasy they couldn't shoot on film even if the directors wanted to
Imagine going to the bathroom and you see Randy coming out of it. You think, it cant be that bad, what the netizens of the internet say. But then you sit on the toilet, and you almost slip off of it, as if someone put Vaseline over the whole seat.
I hated how they introduce Krieg in the first 2 minutes, before you even see the first psycho, making his "friendly psycho" gimmick entirely pointless.
It’s funny how Transformers One did a happy annoying robot character with fucked up subtexts and backstory “clap-trap like” character better than the actual borderlands movie
I just appreciated TF One took that tired ol’ Bay trope with Bumblebee and turned it on its head. Not a fan of Mr. Key, but he did alright IMO. At least he wasn’t voiced by Jack Black!
Honestly Mad Moxxi was one of the few castings that made some kind of sense, as in the games she is actually in her 50s and is REALLY self conscious about it
I watched this movie on some dodgy streaming website a few days after its theatrical release. The video quality was horrendous because it was a recording off of some guy's phone, there were baked-in French subtitles that took up a quarter of the screen that couldn't be disabled, and there was this intrusive ad for an online casino that kept popping up every 10 minutes. All of this enhanced my viewing experience tenfold.
Holy shit you watched the same version I did. Can confirm it made the experience better, although when I watched it, it was with a group of friends and we were utterly and completely obliterated.
Craig Mazen is truly an enigma. Chernobyl feels you're eating something made by a master chef and then realize it was made by someone who worked at Denny's.
Claptrap is made to be obnoxious, but the first three games, they counterbalance that by: 1: Making the vast majority of them genuinely harmless stooges who were basically an Alexa on a unicycle incapable of genuine malice, so they just mindlessly ape what a corporate engineer removed from humanity thinks a happy, easygoing and agreeable person is like. 2: Making it clear the main one is like that because he's been alive long enough to become a socially awkward neurotic wreck who has an enormous backburner piled high with burnt and charred emotional problems and inadequacy issues he had to put aside, but is in the process a more genuine form of happy, easygoing and agreeable person.
Also you get to make them suffer a little once in a while to take out your anger on them. Not too much that it gets creepy, but enough to get that revenge.
claptrap was a carbon copy of GIR from invader zim, thats why he was still kind of funny in the games. taking away the GIR voice and delivery and line writes makes his character finally entirely pointless
Tales from the Borderlands proves that the setting is great for storytelling. It's just the fact that the people behind the movie were terrified of things not being perfectly recognisable for the casual fans. Seriously; give me a buddy comedy of two people trying to make things work on Pandora despite everything being a living hell and it would be a perfectly cromulent story.
@@theaestheticcactus7889 what? it was a plothole riddled shitshow with a bunch of meaningless fanservice thrown in... and further proof that fede alvarez is a complete hack
hearing Civvie's laugh at Knoxx's death is hilarious, haven't heard him genuinely laugh like that since the Pro Postal episode where he earns the achievement by interrupting Krotchy
I love that a trailer, a device that is designed for people to watch 1 minute and get hyped and think "Wow, I actually want to see that, it looks Funny/cool/entertaining!" was met with the same reaction as forcing someone to eat wet bread. And then the movie came out and everyone looked at it the same way someone taking a literal dump on a litter of puppies would be received. And everyone who said people were being harsh about this movie were immediately exposed as having more money in their pocket than soul in their body.
but the fact that after so many failed projects, Rancid Sh1tford is still able to have a career is just mind boggling. I'm just glad that I forgot all these terrible adaptations existed in first place.
@@forgotultag1543 Its hollywood baby, at least the parts that are not smoking charcoal. It was never about talent, you think Jaden Smith got his big staring role because he was a good actor in 'After Earth: Still Earth definitive edition'? You think the writer for the "Fear is the mind killer" inspirational speech got there for being creative?
You know, given Kate Blanchett's 30 year age discrepancy here... If the same producer who had that idea is the one working on Naruto... Naruto is 15 in Shippuden. Chriss Pratt is 45. Im just saying. Believe it!
Strauss Zelnick isn't a movie producer, he's the CEO of Take-Two, publishers of Borderlands and now owners of Gearbox. Much like Randy, it's a vanity credit only.
When you own the rights, you ARE a producer under Hollywood union rules, you're entitled to a producer's credit. A famous case recently James Woods was a producer for Oppenheimer but didn't want to risk the movie being blacklisted so he formally signed away his right to have his name in the credits. Oppenheimer may be based on reality but the structure of the story is taken from a biography that James Woods owned the rights to and I think he commissioned a screenplay based on it as well. If you own the rights you have a lot of sway, like Drew Barrymore owned the movie rights to Charlie's Angels and she vetoed the Angels ever using any firearms. It was her unilateral decision as a condition to lease the IP rights to the movie studio. Producers don't make all the creative decisions but they have to sign off on the overall plan like the script, the director, cast, the budget, etc. they mainly have the power to veto certain aspects like: no poop jokes please.
@ That's fascinating info, thanks! Every movie and show has like 15,000 Executive Producers today and so many of them are cast members or people who have other roles, I assumed a lot of that was vanity credits. I'm sure some of them are, but I didn't know you had a right to claim Executive Producer for owning rights.
I refuse to believe that "I can move stuff with my freaking mind" is something that I've seen in more than one work of fiction. God is dead, and we killed him with our freakin' minds.
@@cairox1509 Ah, Fartspoken. I remember when we thought that was the name of the upcoming FFXIV expansion. Little did we know, Forspoken would be more like the next expansion than we could ever believe.
I even skipped back as he played that part. I could not trust my ears, was the hope. What a world we live in the worst dialogue imaginable is becoming the standard and not the exception.
A friend of mine worked on a cruise ship and actually had the honor of serving Milla Jovavich while on board. And from what described, she is in fact one of the coolest and sweetest souls you will EVER encounter.
Personally I don’t think Kevin is lying. I think he really did give his Roland a serious and kinda deep backstory, and then no one cared or did any bing with it, including the writers.
what writers? eli roth "reworked" the script and the previous writer wanted his name removed.... and calling eli roth a writer is an insult to actual writers
Yeah sorry not sorry, but Borderlands does NOT have a good story period....Sorry not sorry NO Simple Jack isn't any better than the Twins in BL3. Its the same trash just different people yapping constantly, the first game had even less story than 2024 porno and Tiny Tina's Wonderland was hot garbage. Literally ZERO characters have a "deep backstory" or a good backstory. Its hilarious when people pretend that an awful story from a game is somehow LMFAO better than the awful movie. The games don't have good story and the movie was based on that awful story
Seeing an entire chapter simply named 'Claptrap' gave off the exact same vibes as seeing an entire chapter simply named 'Doug' in Folding Ideas's vid on Nostalgia Critic's _The Wall_ .
@@blvalverde No he was definitely talking about Luigi Mario of the famous Superb Mario Brothers. I mean the video has an early part where he shows a clip of the original Super Mario Brothers film.
The only thing I'll argue with Civvie about is, when he says "Remember how awesome it is when you get into the vault in Borderlands and defeat the big monster?", and I say no, that parts actually accurate. A vast majority of people who played Borderlands 1, myself included were heavily let down by The Destroyer and hate it as a final boss, so in terms of sheer disappointment it fits perfectly into this movie.
I recall when I started playing it seemed like it was heading into a deeper RPG, but never went anywhere. The end of the game felt rushed. Mindless fun with a pretext, that's about it.
Yeah, it was a long time ago but I remember the ending of Borderlands 1 kinda sucked. The crystal enemies were just obnoxious and the end boss was nothing more than hiding behind a pillar and popping out on pattern. Makes sense, though, the thrill of a looter shooter is constantly getting new, cool shit. That stops at the end, and thus the end is almost pointless.
You say "disappointing", I say "confusing". I was prepped to have a final showdown with the crimson mercenary woman (Bad memory, but I do recall hating her, for whatever reason), then *bam:* Tentacles, and I'm dealing with some Kraken thing. I was more lost, than anything. It'd be like if you were at the final boss fight with Imaginator's Kaos, and the Arkeyan King just randomly showed up, smashed him aside, and now HE'S the final boss.
I started playing the games in 2011, and i still vividly remember how the Destroyer was heavily memed by the community for being an incredibly lame final boss fight. The raid boss Crawmerax from the Knox DLC felt like a response to that, Randy basically made a non-lame boss fight that people could farm for loot and shut up about how lame the final boss is.
@@Umbra_Ursus I mean, the planet is called PANDORA and you're trying desperately to OPEN A BOX. Why did you expect anything other than bad things inside the box?
He literally said to Randy "I want to play Roland straight. No jokes, pure action hero, serious all the time" and Randy replied "but you’re Kevin Hart! We gotta give you a few gags!"
I looked at the trailer when i was watching Deadpool and Wolverine and instantly said to my friend "That is gonna fucking suck" i could almost see the grease filter
Honestly I’m more offended by the fact that Krieg is here and Mordecai and Brick aren’t. Like… you had the opportunity to get all 4 of the original vault hunters together but you didn’t.
Also goes to show the directors or whoever was in charge had ANY idea of what to do. Like it seems like they wanted to do a retelling of the first game, where the vaults are mysterious but supposedly full of treasure (and not just monsters). But at the same time, Krieg and Tiny Tina are here? Like WHAT?
The actor is also like half of the size of the games's Krieg. I mean, the actor is jacked, but when i picture Krieg, i picture a really tall, heavily muscled scary dude, not just a regular size muscular man.
8:20 Oh boy, a child cloned from the DNA of an extinct Alien race to fulfill an alien prophecy, I see no way how that could monstrously back fire and create a psycho path bent on revenge.
I think my favorite thing about the borderlands movie was the early screening for influencers that they did Oboeshoes got invited and one of the other influencers asked him if borderlands was like elden ring and he said no
Krieg actually has a pretty dark story if you look into it. His inner monologue betrays his outer character as he’s still sane on the inside but absolute fucking crazy outside. Edit: this is the game version BTW.
I would be more interested in watching a documentary about how they arrived at the cast of this movie. Did Randy just have a list of actresses from his childhood he thought were attractive?
There's a short doc from The Badger's Apprentice that makes it abundantly clear that the people making it clearly didn't understand the assignment. Pretty much the same can be said of this pile of shit.
Ah yes, love for the franchise is when you make the anarchist ecoterrorist a mid-00's real man animated kid animal protagonist who loves cops and the government
It’s amazing to me that all these actors and producers and Eli Roth thought they were making a good movie that gamers wanted to see. The degree that they were completely out of touch is astronomical and matches how I think Greaseball Randy generally operates his company. Also, just Strauss Zelnick…..blech. Oh the bright side, great video as always, Civvie! Happy New Year!
to be fair if an actor/producer of the movie said something like "yeah this movie is going to be dogshit" publically they'd probably won't be hired by anyone ever again. Just better to roll with the production and say it's amazing rather then risk your career over a bad movie.
I have a hard time believing anything that came out of their mouths was said genuinely. They said that stuff because the PR people said they had to and they probably did several takes to make sure it sounded and looked genuine enough to show. There are dozens of cuts where they look dead inside in a folder on some computer somewhere, I just know it.
Hey remember when Randy left his position at gearbox because he got called out on some really nasty stuff I can’t mention here. Then he made a new position for himself for gearbox movies, then it failed, so now he has nothing…yeah crazy dude.
I think this movie was Eli Roth getting a studio to pay for a vacation for him and all his friends and all they had to do was pump out a dogwater movie in 14 hours and call it a day. Or as it's more commonly known, Adam Sandlering.
This shit had sets and action scenes. Sandler movies work as vacation write-offs because nobody has to do anything. This one had to be miserable for everyone involved.
My biggest dissapointment with the movie is that the initial narration wasn't done by Marcus starting with "so, you want to hear a story, eh?". How do you miss such a simple yet iconic aspect?
It's been too long since I last heard someone reviewing a film use the Eli Roth "Ooo, faced!" clip as a gag. Brings back good memories, from a simpler time.
And then Andrew Ryan played by Ryan Reynolds proceeded to shoot electricity out of his eyes and says "Now you understand, you are being BIOSHOCKED!", then proceeds to shock protagonist played by Chris Pratt all over the place.
That would not surprise me if that actually happened with the way movies are made these days.
The movies tagline is "Would you kindly" which is contextless, ruins/confirms the twist and thus disallows any interesting changes and means nothing as a tagline. Perfect.
Maisie Williams plays the little sister, singular.
Edit: Dave Bautista or The Rock play the Big Daddy who isnt fully suited and will just be a big guy welded into a diving suit and he'll look more like he's Isaac from Dead Space.
Welcome to my ultra nightmare, motherf*cker.
*_Throws an electric eel at the villain_*
"I guess you could say he was... Bio-shocked."
*_Puts on sunglasses and vanishes with the invisibility plasmid that probably exists, right?_*
_And they danced_
@@fimmywa unironically if that BioShock movie ever happens (I recall there being talk about it a while back), I really hope they don't make an adaptation and especially hope the people making it understand things enough to not use the "would you kindly" line or twist.
In addition to being cheap fanservice it functionally does not work or at least wouldn't hit as hard in the context of a movie; at best it'd be a predictable element of a plot (if it's a direct adaptation with Jimmy as a character), at worst it'd probably come across as a random and nonsensical ass-pull to people who haven't played the game or know one of the biggest twists in video game history.
Me and a friend of mine went to see this movie together one night. It was about 2 weeks after it released, and we went to the really cheap, shitty theater in the middle of town. He was a big Borderlands fan (I've only played a little bit of the first game, so I only knew some of the basics) but we both knew it was going to be really, really bad.
When we walked into the theater, the place was a complete ghost town. No other customers or anything, just us. There was a lone employee at the concessions stand, who was also doubling as the ticket guy. We walked up and proudly asked for "two tickets to Borderlands!" He laughed at us, and then we went to our screening room, which was at the very, very corner of the theater. The whole place was kind of in disrepair, none of the signs that displayed the movie were working, the lights were flickering, and the floors were stained, etc. The hallways felt like a labyrinth as we tried to find where we were going.
When we walked into the screening room, it was, sure enough, completely abandoned. The room was oddly humid, and smelled faintly of piss, befitting of the piss-take of a movie we were about to witness. We picked some seats up near the top and sat down. The seats felt damp, and the floor around us was sticky, as were the armrests. As the previews came to an end, not another soul entered the theater; it was just us two, all alone. We vocally asked multiple times during the first minute of the movie if anybody else was there. We got no response.
We proceeded to spend the runtime of the movie yelling at the screen, making shitty jokes, asking questions about what was even happening, and generally just being obnoxious. I had a bit where every time something stupid happened (frequently), I would stand up, and vault off the railing down to the ground. My friend continuously explained to me everything that was wrong with the film lore wise. As we continued, the jokes started to slow down, and we instead began to become actively annoyed at how absolutely dogshit the film was. We just kept looking back at each other and asking ourselves how something like this even got made.
Near the end, during the climax where Lilith uses her Firehawk powers, we just started dying laughing. It was so poorly paced, so poorly put together, so poorly foreshadowed, that we finally broke down. We could do nothing but laugh at the absurdity. I haven't laughed as hard I did while watching this movie since.
When the movie was over, the janitor came in to see if he needed to clean up, and on the way out I told him that the movie was horrible. He laughed, said he knew exactly what we were talking about since he was also a Borderlands fan, and then the three of us talked about how much we hated Randy Pitchford. Me and my friend got McDonalds on the way back.
Unironically, one of the best nights of my life. We watched a horrible movie in a dingy, run down theater, screaming obscenities at the screen and dying from laughter. I wouldn't change a single thing about that night.
maximum paynis
first half of this story I definitely thought it ended with you and your friend in the Back Rooms
You paid to see this? lol it got uploaded to UA-cam a ton of times and I fell asleep during it and never even tried to pick it back up haha
Having friends around can elevate any experience.
I'm glad you were able to make a great memory out of this garbage.
Congrats on writing that in such a way that I wasn't sure if it would be a creepypasta or not halfway through. I thought that a giant Randy head would appear on the screen with hyper realistic grease bleeding from its eyes and the theater would start to flood.
The first stumbling block was not having Marcus himself narrate, LIKE HE DOES EVERY GAME.
The other 2,887 were the rest of the movie.
Can you imagine how great it would've been if the movie ended with Brick complaining to Marcus that this isn't how it happened?
Post-credit scene of Marcus saying NO REFUNDS would have been funny.
This will substitute my watch of the actual movie. Civvie just cockblocked Randy's wallet
This. All of this
Real and true.
I'm pretty sure Randy fucks his wallet.
Civvie here looking out for all of us
No need to watch the actual trash movie when this video's funnier, shorter, and goes straight to the point, lol
Describing this as the same quality as early 2000s Spy Kids/ Shark Boy and Lava Girl, but without any heart, is shockingly accurate
Sharkboy & Lavagirl had a miniscule amount of 'this movie was fun to make' so it's not utterly excruciating like Borderlands The Movie
It lacks heart, but has Hart.
@@WIldXIII
Congratulations the Hart transplant was a success!
Hah, I'M SO SHORT!!!
...
Who let dyslexic Dan write the order form?!
that "by kids for kids" type movie really did have a shit load of heart, didnt it? the fuckin' things you learn in hindsight man...
The kid who played Sharkboy, Taylor Lautner (who lets out a censored "bitch" in the film, by the way) also played Jacob in the Twilight movies.
You can't make this shit up.
I work at a movie theater. We get employee screenings of movies the night before they premiere for free. 6 of us showed up to Borderlands. I've worked here about three years and it's the only employee screening where there were walkouts. 3 of us left by the halfway mark and I wish I had joined them. We saw the movie for free but it robbed us of something greater than money.
So Randy still managed to take something from you and it didn't even have to be your money
The entire movie is a giant "I expected nothing, and yet I'm still disappointed" mood.
Well, the good news is, the next movie you see that's merely bad... won't seem so terrible by comparison!
"Yeah, this is _kind of_ crappy, but it's no Borderlands Movie, I'll tell you that much!"
I'm sorry for your loss.
My condolences...
hearing the actors describe their roles is painful, you can HEAR it in their voices they had no idea what they er supposed to be
“Just say whatever comes to mind. We’ll surely get some people in the theaters.”
Kevin Hart hurted the must. Dude literally doesn't know who his character is, he gave one of the most vague character descriptions i have ever heard in my life, I don't think he even said something specific about it.
To be fair they're actors. If they can't pretend to have a real interview, then they can't pretend to be someone else either.
@@Meittidude we get it you hate everyone in the movie more than everyone else, please put your hate-erection away it is small and creepy
The Stoklasa test: Describe a character without mentioning abilities, role or appearence, and avoid plot points
The depth of the character dictates how long you can go on
Nothing screams "confused" more than the fact that they got Eli Roth to direct an adaptation of a game known for being pretty violent and crude, yet they gave it a PG-13 rating.
To be fair, a 2024 pg-13 is like a 2005 18+ lmao
It was going to be an R rated gore fest, but the suits got cold feet and edited it into PG-13 territory.
They knew it was garbage and dropping the rating was the only way to reduce the financial damage.
They made 2 PG-13 Mortal Kombat movies back in the 90s, this is always how this nonsense has been.
@@mjay6245 I don't think that's true. They got away with some stuff in the 90's.
The adventures of Aunt Lilith, Grandma Tannis, Tiny Roland, Normal Tina, and Krieg for some goddamn reason.
how is this not the top comment lmao
I feel terrible for Tiny Tina's actor. Imagine having to read that script and realize this could be a career killer.
It should've been CG animated so they could have the OG voice actors and save that girl the horrendous bullying and harassment she'll probably get because of this.
@@icravedeath.1200studio executive: “animation? That shits for kids!”
She also portrayed what should have been a young adult Ahsoka Tano (probably in the 20+ range) in live action. Bleugh...
It feels eerily similar to the situation Ahmed Best, the actor for Jar Jar Binks. Only he at the very least had George Lucas in his corner giving him support.
do you really think an actress from her generation looks at the script before the paycheck... or looks at the script at all for that matter
"This isn't a Battleborn movie. People will actually remember this one."
Civvie with the sick burns as usual.
Wished Battleborn didn't die so soon. Seemed promising
@@crack4184 It had much better writing that Borderlands. A much better balance of serious and wacky.
There are videos about Battleborn,, plus the official Battleborn Boot camp trailer gives a good run down of the game, plus the MadLads from the Battleborn Community made a mod that lets you play the game offline.
That said, out of the Three Major May 2016 releases, Magnificent and Metal Doom and Fun Hilarious and underated Battleborn were my choices.
IF Gearbox was smart, they would relaunch Battleborn with a offline mode for Story and PVP VS Bots, with server hosting for Story mode COOP and PVP, and a PROPER Free2Play version called Battleborn Shareware Edition with the Dojo, Prologue Chapter 1 and a random chapter plus PVP, plus random Battleborn's Crew rotation as a surefire way to compete now in the Hero Shooter games Market as a FPS MOBA with a story mode.
@@KalHimself The biggest issue with Battleborn is that it couldn't compete at the time against Paladins, Overwatch and Team Fortress 2's newest updates (oh god it was that long ago)
What's a Battleborn?
"Video game fans will recognize this gun from the game" ...
Game has 100000000 different randomly assigned guns casually being thrown onto the ground like pinata prizes that children then fight over and ditch the liquorish guns ...
Sure, but the Legendary Guns ARE the most distinct, and seeing the infinity makes sense, it's pretty well known.
But god...the guns were so boring in the movie.
@@Darkvalentine333 If they wanted the movie to be fun, they should've given Lilith a pre-nerf Conference Call instead of Infinity.
And the Infinity is easily one of the most iconic guns in the series
If you care even a little about Borderlands 2 then you probably know that gun
A gun called Infinity that has infinite ammo and shoots in an infinity pattern is pretty memorable and was always super popular.
And not a single gun from Torque. That alone proves they have as little idea of good guns as they have about good movies.
"Yeah, but everybody knows that one gun with a 12% drop chance from this one enemy that people farm boringly because it's a thing that you do in Borderlands if you're a Borderlands guy!"
-Borderlands guys, I guess
Am working at a movie theater and when this came out unsurprisingly pretty much nobody wanted to see it. Attendance was extremely low. Literally had a guy say he knew the movie was terrible and only wanted to see it for something to laugh at. Genuinely the only thing people were excited about when it came to this movie was the admittedly top notch Claptrap popcorn bucket
I hope the popcorn bucket was silent.
@@Civvie11ap-sap-like
not good™
How do you screw up a Borderlands movie? Couldnt they get someone like James Gunn or Robert Rodriguez or something?
@@LeeSixTwenty I'd rather ask; "why turn Borderlands into a movie?" I know that the only reason to turn a piece of fiction from one media to another is money, but Borderlands feels like a pretty odd choice to me. The game is just about shooting things while characters spout unfunny jokes. I don't think there's that much there to begin with and it's going to be costly if you want the film to look like the game. The timing doesn't feel right either. Maybe it was a contractual obligation hell.
@@Assimandelithe movie should've been about Cate Blanchett trading another vault hunter for a hacked weapon and ending the movie in 25 minutes.
It's funny how Jack Black went from being seen as the savior of the Mario movie to having almost as little dignity as Dwayne Johnson within the space of a year. I get that he has passion and just likes having fun in his roles, but people are starting to realize that he's been playing the same character ever since School of Rock, and it's starting to grate.
Did he play the same character in the Kung-Fu Panda movies?
Just like Mike Myers. Same one note jokes. Same song and dance we've seen ten thousand times. Where it took longer for Jack Black to turn into a total grease fire.
Firing your life long best friend over a Trump joke will do that for ya
@@Shadeogray1113 Will Smith, Keanu Reeves, ESPECIALLY THE ROCK also do the same thing as them. Just play themselves.
@@LeeSixTwenty Pretty much the majority of early 2000s actors like Vin Diesel
My operating theory about this movie is that Randy rigged most of the main cast up with Suicide Squad bomb collars and that's how they got all these actors to sign on for this.
I doubt, in that case those collars would be that stained with grease so the cast could've slipped their heads through!
Cate Blanchett said she accepted the job during lockdown when she was going stir crazy just for something to do, (according to her, she was trying to prune a hedge with a chainsaw). She also mentioned the script she signed up for was *very* different from what was shot and released.
'I love meth but I've never been able to make it.' immediately cutting to an exploding house absolutely took me out I have tears in my eyes
He failed Rats Day 1.
Can't believe Luigi walked out of a movie about killing a CEO, that's a bad review.
Randy didn't Include Handsome Jack because Handsome Jack is practically Randy but with some redeeming qualities.
They probably left Jack out because Randy insisted on playing the role himself
@obscurereference8798 Jack is too good for Randy to play.
Also, Jack has actual charm (for borderlands standarts) unlike randy.
Jack is pretty well thought-out. He's a cult leader; when you distill it down to just it's base he's a charismatic guy whom wants to think for others because they are literally below him in his eyes, and above all else his ego is projected onto everything he touches.
Randy *wishes* he was Jack.
Randy Pitchford is so greasy that they kept having to clean all the film equipment every time he stepped into and out of the studio
That’s why there was so much cgi. Less props and sets less clean up time.
Oooh, so that's where the budget went
randy's so greasy the camera crew had to put rain covers over the cameras even though everything was shot indoors
randy's so greasy they couldn't shoot on film even if the directors wanted to
Imagine going to the bathroom and you see Randy coming out of it. You think, it cant be that bad, what the netizens of the internet say. But then you sit on the toilet, and you almost slip off of it, as if someone put Vaseline over the whole seat.
Out of all the ways to find out about an upcoming bioshock movie, this has got to be the most depressing way.
Yeah, I am NOT looking forward to a Bioshock movie.
I felt my stomach viscerally sink
...The WHAT?!
Gore Verbinski, of Pirates of the Caribbean/The Ring fame, was supposed to make one. That one could have been promising.
...i was jumpscared by the mention of a Naruto Movie, that shit will bomb harder than the Avatar one.
I hated how they introduce Krieg in the first 2 minutes, before you even see the first psycho, making his "friendly psycho" gimmick entirely pointless.
could have easily have it been brick or mordecai
I saw a Half on the Bag review of the movie, and one of the top comments said that this was some kind of elderly abuse
Yeah, Mike really suffered in the cinema, as always.
@@BadenBattleBase
As did all the elderly folks he hit with his car on the way to the theater
Yeah, where the elderly abuse us
The RLM video on this was great
moreso cuz Mike is old and doesn't understand video games
_So it's like a 7, seven and a half movie, which I think would have been fine for a Borderlands movie._ - The Grease
More like 0.7-0.75.
Talk about shooting for the stars.
It’s funny how Transformers One did a happy annoying robot character with fucked up subtexts and backstory “clap-trap like” character better than the actual borderlands movie
Eeh B was still just kinda eh
I just appreciated TF One took that tired ol’ Bay trope with Bumblebee and turned it on its head. Not a fan of Mr. Key, but he did alright IMO. At least he wasn’t voiced by Jack Black!
The fact that Roland never uses his saber turret angers me on a subatomic level.
it just wasn't in the budget, surely you understand they only had $115 million.
Brick got cut from the movie, there's a bunch of shots where you can see like his back, or his hands opening the hatch etc.
@@Eyclonusthat’s wild if true
The use of Pantera's "Fucking Hostile" for the Jack Trap bit was great.
Honestly Mad Moxxi was one of the few castings that made some kind of sense, as in the games she is actually in her 50s and is REALLY self conscious about it
I watched this movie on some dodgy streaming website a few days after its theatrical release. The video quality was horrendous because it was a recording off of some guy's phone, there were baked-in French subtitles that took up a quarter of the screen that couldn't be disabled, and there was this intrusive ad for an online casino that kept popping up every 10 minutes. All of this enhanced my viewing experience tenfold.
at least the online casino has a very small chance of you not wasting your money
Holy shit you watched the same version I did. Can confirm it made the experience better, although when I watched it, it was with a group of friends and we were utterly and completely obliterated.
Sounds like a quality experience.
Ditto! I swear it was better for it, the casino ads were the best part
Calling Claptrap a "Pain Homunculus" is surprisingly nice.
Shut up and take my upvote!!
Hey Goldn. How you doing?
it felt extremely accurate
@@franciscobrisolladeoliveir9596 feelin' fine.
@@ZaGorudan I have decided that if I'll ever have a band it will be called PAIN HOMUNCULUS
Can we all just appreciate that Randy actually finished something and maybe even possibly paid the people involved?
Literal bare minimum achieved
A controversy surrounding the movie was that neither the rigging person nor the modeller for Claptrap were credited, according to the rigger.
He was just messing around for old times sake, he loves a good joke
@@r.g.thesecond God fucking damnit Randy.
Only because despite how greasy he is, Hollywood's been doing the racket far longer and knows how to strongarm better.
This whole movie is a sewer
This should have started by adding to the sewer count
*DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING*
*zombie groans*
+100 to the count!
Troma Seal of Approval
16:22 "The skeletonized body of Dr. Melanie Turner was found in a forest near London only a few days after this conversation."
Holy shit, deep cut
Dr mendez
Its the magic of the druids!
Time for my weekly rewatch
This movie was quite the Salt arc.
You know it's in trouble when the opening narration wasn't Marcus saying "So, you want to hear a stoey, eh?"
Craig Mazen is truly an enigma. Chernobyl feels you're eating something made by a master chef and then realize it was made by someone who worked at Denny's.
You gotta start at the bottom to be good at what you are when you're on top
@@RiveTheRatyeah but it's usually not in reverse
@@RiveTheRatit’s more like a rollercoaster zigzagging between ups and downs
I thought Craig Mazin only wrote like the first draft or something?
Craig had his name REMOVED from the movie years ago. That was the first sign this was going nowhere.
Claptrap is made to be obnoxious, but the first three games, they counterbalance that by:
1: Making the vast majority of them genuinely harmless stooges who were basically an Alexa on a unicycle incapable of genuine malice, so they just mindlessly ape what a corporate engineer removed from humanity thinks a happy, easygoing and agreeable person is like.
2: Making it clear the main one is like that because he's been alive long enough to become a socially awkward neurotic wreck who has an enormous backburner piled high with burnt and charred emotional problems and inadequacy issues he had to put aside, but is in the process a more genuine form of happy, easygoing and agreeable person.
Playing all Claptraps splitscreen in the Prequel was one hell of an experience.
Also you get to make them suffer a little once in a while to take out your anger on them. Not too much that it gets creepy, but enough to get that revenge.
I didn't mind them much in the first game (the only one I played extensively), possibly because they always handed out inventory upgrades.
If I sound happy about this, I'm not! I'm really quite depressed!
claptrap was a carbon copy of GIR from invader zim, thats why he was still kind of funny in the games. taking away the GIR voice and delivery and line writes makes his character finally entirely pointless
Here with your infrequent reminder that Battleborn tanked so badly Mr. Pitchford tried to drum up sales by reminding people that Rule 34 exists
Few modern-day review shows have a full blown antagonist like Randy is to Civvie.
Or capstone.
@@pontiusporcius8430 The difference is Capstone is not on the loose like Randy is.
@@theicepickthatkilledtrotsk658 Or as actively malicious/predatory.
He's Civvie's own Bat Credit Card
Yeah capstone at least died @pontiusporcius8430
The idea that Luigi is down there with you is hilarious
HE GETS ALL THE PERKS IT'S BULLSHIT
@@Civvie11 #FreeLuigi (And #FreeCivvie, obviously.)
@@Civvie11 Must be a family connection.
@@SirusDiarota Wrong Luigi. #Deny #Defend #Depose
😅
"Tannis does do one thing" * checks the wrong area of Lilith's throat for a pulse *
Technically, still counts.
Also, isn't she canonically a bad scientist or am I just gone mental again?
@@oz_jones tannis is canonically pretty good at her job, just incredibly unethical and on the dire end of the sanity spectrum
Strauss Zelnick is the CEO of Take Two Interactive, btw (not sure if you knew that and didnt mention...)
That makes sense. He doesn't belong.
@Civvie11 he's the money, i assume
@@Civvie11 He actually sounds like a better Borderlands villain than most Borderlands villains.
@@hoilst265He even has a villain name!
Strauss Zelnick
*early life check*
EVERY🕎SINGLE🕎TIME.
Lemmy Kilmister would be disgusted by knowing his song is in this filth.
Nah, if they paid him enough he wouldn't care.
Lemmy is dead I don't think he's gonna care no more. Kobalt, though?
How is this comment from 3 days ago
@@countryjoey858 Patreon
Tales from the Borderlands proves that the setting is great for storytelling. It's just the fact that the people behind the movie were terrified of things not being perfectly recognisable for the casual fans.
Seriously; give me a buddy comedy of two people trying to make things work on Pandora despite everything being a living hell and it would be a perfectly cromulent story.
Alien Romulus destroyed this at the box office.
Take that, Randy.
To be fair, Alien Romulus was sooooooo good
That's karma for making alien colonial marines
@@theaestheticcactus7889A bit too on-the-nose with some of the call-backs, but yeah, it made me slightly hopeful of the franchise itself.
No, thats karma for robbing Colonial Marines for what it could've, should've, and was advertised to be@BigBlokeSeanyPops
@@theaestheticcactus7889 what? it was a plothole riddled shitshow with a bunch of meaningless fanservice thrown in... and further proof that fede alvarez is a complete hack
hearing Civvie's laugh at Knoxx's death is hilarious, haven't heard him genuinely laugh like that since the Pro Postal episode where he earns the achievement by interrupting Krotchy
His laugh at the "Boise Potato Festival" moment in his Slayers X video though 🤣
And the follow-up to the hl2 Lazlo script fucking sent me
That's what we call a callback
making Roland, a huge tough military guy, be played by Kevin Hartt was the first red flag
Legend sais you don't even need electricity to play the film's tape, just spin it and the grease will do all the work
I love that a trailer, a device that is designed for people to watch 1 minute and get hyped and think "Wow, I actually want to see that, it looks Funny/cool/entertaining!" was met with the same reaction as forcing someone to eat wet bread. And then the movie came out and everyone looked at it the same way someone taking a literal dump on a litter of puppies would be received.
And everyone who said people were being harsh about this movie were immediately exposed as having more money in their pocket than soul in their body.
Amazing metaphors, you can be our backup Civvie.
but the fact that after so many failed projects, Rancid Sh1tford is still able to have a career is just mind boggling.
I'm just glad that I forgot all these terrible adaptations existed in first place.
@@forgotultag1543 Its hollywood baby, at least the parts that are not smoking charcoal.
It was never about talent, you think Jaden Smith got his big staring role because he was a good actor in 'After Earth: Still Earth definitive edition'?
You think the writer for the "Fear is the mind killer" inspirational speech got there for being creative?
You know, given Kate Blanchett's 30 year age discrepancy here... If the same producer who had that idea is the one working on Naruto...
Naruto is 15 in Shippuden.
Chriss Pratt is 45.
Im just saying.
Believe it!
get ready for tom holland as naruto
Strauss Zelnick isn't a movie producer, he's the CEO of Take-Two, publishers of Borderlands and now owners of Gearbox. Much like Randy, it's a vanity credit only.
At least he didn't post about magic tricks
When you own the rights, you ARE a producer under Hollywood union rules, you're entitled to a producer's credit.
A famous case recently James Woods was a producer for Oppenheimer but didn't want to risk the movie being blacklisted so he formally signed away his right to have his name in the credits. Oppenheimer may be based on reality but the structure of the story is taken from a biography that James Woods owned the rights to and I think he commissioned a screenplay based on it as well.
If you own the rights you have a lot of sway, like Drew Barrymore owned the movie rights to Charlie's Angels and she vetoed the Angels ever using any firearms. It was her unilateral decision as a condition to lease the IP rights to the movie studio.
Producers don't make all the creative decisions but they have to sign off on the overall plan like the script, the director, cast, the budget, etc. they mainly have the power to veto certain aspects like: no poop jokes please.
@ That's fascinating info, thanks! Every movie and show has like 15,000 Executive Producers today and so many of them are cast members or people who have other roles, I assumed a lot of that was vanity credits. I'm sure some of them are, but I didn't know you had a right to claim Executive Producer for owning rights.
Hope Luigi gets to have a friendly chat with him
@@humanandhalf4118you know he's probably into that stuff as much as any rich cancer out there
I refuse to believe that "I can move stuff with my freaking mind" is something that I've seen in more than one work of fiction.
God is dead, and we killed him with our freakin' minds.
You made me remember, you monster!
@@cairox1509 Ah, Fartspoken. I remember when we thought that was the name of the upcoming FFXIV expansion.
Little did we know, Forspoken would be more like the next expansion than we could ever believe.
@@Reynsoon no
@@Reynsoonyes
I even skipped back as he played that part. I could not trust my ears, was the hope. What a world we live in the worst dialogue imaginable is becoming the standard and not the exception.
A friend of mine worked on a cruise ship and actually had the honor of serving Milla Jovavich while on board. And from what described, she is in fact one of the coolest and sweetest souls you will EVER encounter.
Personally I don’t think Kevin is lying. I think he really did give his Roland a serious and kinda deep backstory, and then no one cared or did any bing with it, including the writers.
what writers? eli roth "reworked" the script and the previous writer wanted his name removed.... and calling eli roth a writer is an insult to actual writers
@@stefanforrer2573 true, i meant to say including Chatgpt
Could be but to me it's funnier if I imagine him as a apathetic short-stack who's willing to take almost any script cause why not
Yeah sorry not sorry, but Borderlands does NOT have a good story period....Sorry not sorry NO Simple Jack isn't any better than the Twins in BL3. Its the same trash just different people yapping constantly, the first game had even less story than 2024 porno and Tiny Tina's Wonderland was hot garbage.
Literally ZERO characters have a "deep backstory" or a good backstory. Its hilarious when people pretend that an awful story from a game is somehow LMFAO better than the awful movie. The games don't have good story and the movie was based on that awful story
@@lutherheggs451 Wow, so many words said while your head is firmly wedged in your colon.
Has to be a new record.
Seeing an entire chapter simply named 'Claptrap' gave off the exact same vibes as seeing an entire chapter simply named 'Doug' in Folding Ideas's vid on Nostalgia Critic's _The Wall_ .
ahh… the NC’s review of *The Wall.* Now that is a memory I will never forget.
Never ask about Folding Ideas's relationship with child molester Sarah Nyberg.
@@TheRealNormanBates Me neither. Regrettably.
"Tiny Tina is obnoxious, and shitty, and badly written, and I hate her"
Sounds like the one character where they stayed true to the source material.
Randy Greaseford himself was overseeing the production of this movie. That should tell you everything you need to know.
"Luigi get all the perks"
What do you expect? His brother is connected to royalty. It's a wonder that he ended in a prison to begin with.
I think he was talking about the CEO killing guy.
Nintendork spotted.
@@blvalverde
So was he.
@@blvalverde No he was definitely talking about Luigi Mario of the famous Superb Mario Brothers. I mean the video has an early part where he shows a clip of the original Super Mario Brothers film.
"buy some fucking teddy bears you lazy bastards" holy shit i literally cried laughing what a perfect critique.
The only thing I'll argue with Civvie about is, when he says "Remember how awesome it is when you get into the vault in Borderlands and defeat the big monster?", and I say no, that parts actually accurate. A vast majority of people who played Borderlands 1, myself included were heavily let down by The Destroyer and hate it as a final boss, so in terms of sheer disappointment it fits perfectly into this movie.
I recall when I started playing it seemed like it was heading into a deeper RPG, but never went anywhere. The end of the game felt rushed. Mindless fun with a pretext, that's about it.
Yeah, it was a long time ago but I remember the ending of Borderlands 1 kinda sucked. The crystal enemies were just obnoxious and the end boss was nothing more than hiding behind a pillar and popping out on pattern. Makes sense, though, the thrill of a looter shooter is constantly getting new, cool shit. That stops at the end, and thus the end is almost pointless.
You say "disappointing", I say "confusing". I was prepped to have a final showdown with the crimson mercenary woman (Bad memory, but I do recall hating her, for whatever reason), then *bam:* Tentacles, and I'm dealing with some Kraken thing. I was more lost, than anything. It'd be like if you were at the final boss fight with Imaginator's Kaos, and the Arkeyan King just randomly showed up, smashed him aside, and now HE'S the final boss.
I started playing the games in 2011, and i still vividly remember how the Destroyer was heavily memed by the community for being an incredibly lame final boss fight. The raid boss Crawmerax from the Knox DLC felt like a response to that, Randy basically made a non-lame boss fight that people could farm for loot and shut up about how lame the final boss is.
@@Umbra_Ursus I mean, the planet is called PANDORA and you're trying desperately to OPEN A BOX. Why did you expect anything other than bad things inside the box?
i heard Kevin wanted to try real acting, but the studio told him:"..No! you do Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart.."
He literally said to Randy "I want to play Roland straight. No jokes, pure action hero, serious all the time" and Randy replied "but you’re Kevin Hart! We gotta give you a few gags!"
It's rare for an actor to know he's the wrong pick for the role more than the director does.
It literally just clicked how subtle the writing is in the source material. Pandora, thing that must not be opened.
Good job, Randy.
Not even worth pirating this thing. The sailors might catch the bloody flux!
Here's how you solve piracy, you make something so bad that people don't even want it for free 😂
I looked at the trailer when i was watching Deadpool and Wolverine and instantly said to my friend "That is gonna fucking suck" i could almost see the grease filter
Honestly I’m more offended by the fact that Krieg is here and Mordecai and Brick aren’t. Like… you had the opportunity to get all 4 of the original vault hunters together but you didn’t.
Also goes to show the directors or whoever was in charge had ANY idea of what to do. Like it seems like they wanted to do a retelling of the first game, where the vaults are mysterious but supposedly full of treasure (and not just monsters). But at the same time, Krieg and Tiny Tina are here? Like WHAT?
The actor is also like half of the size of the games's Krieg. I mean, the actor is jacked, but when i picture Krieg, i picture a really tall, heavily muscled scary dude, not just a regular size muscular man.
I still think that not having Brick here and played by Dave Batista was what sunk this movie
I am excited at the absolute HATE FUCKING that I'm about to witness.
The funniest joke of the movie is releasing and getting beaten in the box office by a new Alien movie
😂😂😂
dude I didn't even consider that, that's hilarious
Isn't Alien an HUGE IP though?
@@MagnitudePerson anything released after Resurrection is awful, terrible garbage despite the budget
"We're Aliens fans!"
Most Mystery Science Theatre 3000 thing Civvie's uploaded yet
8:20 Oh boy, a child cloned from the DNA of an extinct Alien race to fulfill an alien prophecy, I see no way how that could monstrously back fire and create a psycho path bent on revenge.
I think my favorite thing about the borderlands movie was the early screening for influencers that they did
Oboeshoes got invited and one of the other influencers asked him if borderlands was like elden ring and he said no
HES SO GREASY YOU'D THINK 'GEARBOX' WOULD RUN BETTER.
Here before Randy "Greaseman" Pitchford copyright claims the video.
Here before he goes on an IGN interview to badmouth Civvie
@@Sorrelhas That's a win.
Krieg actually has a pretty dark story if you look into it. His inner monologue betrays his outer character as he’s still sane on the inside but absolute fucking crazy outside.
Edit: this is the game version BTW.
A meat bicycle built for two is way better than whatever this movie was.
@@ahappylion8270 I AM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE POOP TRAIN
Don’t forget that Scooter and Ellie are credited in the end credits even though you never see them in the entire movie.
Civvie finally entering the primordial soup and returning having absorbed his ancestor Mr. Plinkett. You love to see it
I would be more interested in watching a documentary about how they arrived at the cast of this movie. Did Randy just have a list of actresses from his childhood he thought were attractive?
Matt McMuscles’ “What Happun” video on this movie is probably the next best thing for what you’re looking for.
that'd make sense. explains why there's a child in the movie, at least
@@dirtfriend 🤢😬
It bad but at least it wasn’t made by that German Boxer guy with his whole “you don’t understand my genius” attitude
I mean it'd have been peak then is the problem
Honestly, given how competent his Postal adaptation was, I don’t know if he would’ve done a worse job here.
Same energy as the Cowboy Bebop Live action adaptation
“We’re going to have so many seasons.”
**canned after the first season to major critical distain**
@@crimsondynamo615Why couldn't they get Quentin Tarantino or Wong Kar-Wai?
There's a short doc from The Badger's Apprentice that makes it abundantly clear that the people making it clearly didn't understand the assignment. Pretty much the same can be said of this pile of shit.
This is so much worse. Amazingly.
I still had some hope with the movie and anime referenced directly on the first ep, but things derailed later.
Greaseman Randy is trying to take Uwe Boll's crown
We must stop "the Greasestorm".
Get the boxing gloves
The Sonic movies are easy digestible slop that appeals to kids but those movies have so much God damn love for the franchise.
The Sonic Movies have Jim Carrey clearly having the time of his life in the role of Dr. Robotnik, which makes them worth watching just for that alone.
The first and the third are legit good movies. The second one is garbage though.
Ah yes, love for the franchise is when you make the anarchist ecoterrorist a mid-00's real man animated kid animal protagonist who loves cops and the government
@@Peashamstop projecting your twitter-tier politics on a kid’s game and get a job.
@@bigdongkong1854 The games and movies themselves wanna be political my guy
YT copyright stuff for movies definitely isn't fun, but damn I wish we got Civvie on movies more often.
It’s amazing to me that all these actors and producers and Eli Roth thought they were making a good movie that gamers wanted to see. The degree that they were completely out of touch is astronomical and matches how I think Greaseball Randy generally operates his company. Also, just Strauss Zelnick…..blech.
Oh the bright side, great video as always, Civvie! Happy New Year!
they cut out all the gore
eli roth has always been and will always be a complete hack
Wait, it's not enough to have costumes that look kind of like in the game? Entitled gamers... :D
to be fair if an actor/producer of the movie said something like "yeah this movie is going to be dogshit" publically they'd probably won't be hired by anyone ever again. Just better to roll with the production and say it's amazing rather then risk your career over a bad movie.
I have a hard time believing anything that came out of their mouths was said genuinely. They said that stuff because the PR people said they had to and they probably did several takes to make sure it sounded and looked genuine enough to show. There are dozens of cuts where they look dead inside in a folder on some computer somewhere, I just know it.
They did Krieg dirty too. Him powering up by punching himself in the face while screaming about the voices = not this guy.
Hey remember when Randy left his position at gearbox because he got called out on some really nasty stuff I can’t mention here. Then he made a new position for himself for gearbox movies, then it failed, so now he has nothing…yeah crazy dude.
Now he has all the time he wants to do all the nasty stuff he loves!
🤮
But don't worry! He's gonna have a USB stick full of new ideas for better movies. He's just gotta remember where he left it.
Any m rated game that has a pg-13 movie adaptation is doomed on arrival.
Idk, the first Mortal Kombat movie is still enjoyable
@garuelx8627 enjoyable, but not good tbf
@@garuelx8627 Because people actually cared. The director cared, the actors cared, the production team cared.
The FNAF movie was fun
@@garuelx8627 Enjoyable as that "so bad its good" kind of movie... right?
I think this movie was Eli Roth getting a studio to pay for a vacation for him and all his friends and all they had to do was pump out a dogwater movie in 14 hours and call it a day. Or as it's more commonly known, Adam Sandlering.
This shit had sets and action scenes. Sandler movies work as vacation write-offs because nobody has to do anything. This one had to be miserable for everyone involved.
I am immensely grateful that I now now longer have to watch the ACTUAL film. You're doing the lord's work, 11.
Were you gonna watch it in the first place? 😂
...at some point. Just to see how bad it was.
And now I don't need to! Huzzah!
11 is as he puts it "good people"
Hell yeah, Happy New Year Civvie!
0:17 wait if I remember correctly isn’t Luigi like in the same jail as Diddy……… OH NO CIVVIES IN THE SAME JAIL AS DIDDY!!!!!
Ain't no jail like a diddy jail
Wasn't expecting the sewer count to show up
Whole movie is sewer...
I was expecting it to leave, it has dignity.
NOBODY expects the Sewer-Count Incrementation!
But, Civvie, how could you forget Claptrap's biggest contribution?
Shitting bullets.
Could said bullets be used?
My biggest dissapointment with the movie is that the initial narration wasn't done by Marcus starting with "so, you want to hear a story, eh?". How do you miss such a simple yet iconic aspect?
Oh this is gonna be some _GOOD_ slating
Plenty of wholesome, family-friendly, below-the-belt stuff.
It's family-friendly for a certain percentage of a population that indirectly invented the ridges on a coin
Bless you Civvie for reminding me how much I love Pantera.
I always figured he was a fan. Now I know.
I've had to watch this video in pieces over the course of multiple days because the grease is clogging up my intestines so badly
Can’t believe Dutch van der Linde is in this
I knew Marcus looked and sound familiar. In a better movie, that was a perfect casting choice. But god forbid we get a good borderlands movie.
Oh that's right Dutch is in this.
So that was his plan not Tahiti.
They did not even try to match Clap-traps voice
I guarantee that was Randy’s idea, since he’s a petty little shit who can’t get over him fighting the original claptrap.
It's incredibly off-putting.
@@crimsondynamo615 They didn't get the voice for claptrap in borderlands 3 and it would've costed them less than jack black.
Civvie you can be so damn hilarious, this format really fits you well, make more.
Someone probably told randy there would be more kids to ahow his magic tricks if the movie was pg13
Those are some early 2000s sci-fi channel dune movie cgi backgrounds right there.
It's been too long since I last heard someone reviewing a film use the Eli Roth "Ooo, faced!" clip as a gag. Brings back good memories, from a simpler time.
Cate Blanchett, this was beneath you.
EDIT: Bobby Lee, Jack Black, and Kevin Hart, this was at your level.
im shocked Jamie Lee Curtis is in this, last time i saw her she was in EEOAO, which is a fantastic movie and she was so good there...