Why I'm a vegan CHEF after losing everything

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  • Опубліковано 19 жов 2024
  • Why I’m a vegan chef has everything to do with practicing compassion.
    I could maybe teach cooking and plant based specific cooking because it’s all I know.
    I can talk about my experience of loss and journey through multitudes of grief, but only from my experience.
    I can share my creative process, routines, and methods in the kitchen because i do them everyday.
    This doesn’t make me the best chef in the world, but it does allow me to be the master of my meals.
    My endless gratitude for everyone at www.padmasambh...
    ‪@PBCInternational‬
    Cooking at 30 day silent retreat: • I cooked 1800 MEALS in...
    Want to work with me dereksarno.com/
    TEDX TALK: • Derek Sarno: The many ...
    Why I’m a plant based chef.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,5 тис.

  • @TheBurpGirl
    @TheBurpGirl 3 місяці тому +812

    One day I was speaking with a woman who lost her son to brain cancer. I asked her, what is something I can say to someone who is going through grief instead of saying “sorry for your loss” and she said “ I want people to ask what he was like, People always thing I don’t want to talk about him but I love talking about him” Now, each time I ask someone “What was their name and what kinds of things were they interested in?” It’s been amazing. People light up and share about their loved ones. “ He loved to fish” “She loved to grow giant pumpkin’s!” Maybe more of us can try this.

    • @lauratempestini5719
      @lauratempestini5719 3 місяці тому +36

      Thank you for this Very good advice! I’ll take it!!!

    • @StarTraveler7
      @StarTraveler7 3 місяці тому +22

      Beautiful!
      As an ex Hospice Nurse and full time caregiver I became so overwhelmed by death and dying it's taken me 8 years to get on the other side of trying to find my own life. My mom died suddenly while scuba diving her 1st dive after training.
      It was a very stormy time in my life and now my five kids are grown it's time for me.
      I've found magical wonderful new ways but the more I press into the light I guess I'm at that all the moths are responding time frame of pushing thru to higher dimensions.
      Right now I stayed in bed all day yesterday to process a family gathering misunderstanding s yup about me...
      I'm sick of the stigma of grief when people even ones in the mental health care are so knowledgeable they don't really see it hear either.
      It made me very sad to realize they really don't get IT or ME & IT JUST MADE ME SAD TO REALIZE THEIR NIT MY TRIBE RIGHT NOW.
      We've been thru alot and you love your kids & want to be around them.
      It's hard to think of stepping away a bit..
      I need to be with people who are accepting that my path doesn't have to look like they think it should.
      I never fit that mold anyway.
      Just kinda sad😢

    • @lathakk4711
      @lathakk4711 3 місяці тому +8

      Healing. Will keep this in my thoughts what you said It's been 5 years since my Mother left. The tears never stop but now I can smile through my tears.

    • @CJoyArt
      @CJoyArt 3 місяці тому +11

      In the last couple of years I have been asking "What was your favorite thing about them?"

    • @JF-se5ef
      @JF-se5ef 3 місяці тому +8

      I also experience deep grief. It never really leaves you, but you learn to live with it.
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your motivations. For me it is food for tnought.

  • @FriedaV-ru7nh
    @FriedaV-ru7nh 11 днів тому +13

    This is what a REAL man is about 🌟

    • @LesleySASMR
      @LesleySASMR 6 днів тому +1

      Right??? What a wonderful representation!

  • @dee4435
    @dee4435 3 місяці тому +781

    Please do not underestimate the compassionate energy you bring to the world. Your connection to Amanda's spirit is beautiful and vibrant.

    • @heeeeyjai
      @heeeeyjai 3 місяці тому +13

      So beautifully stated ❤

    • @karryd62
      @karryd62 3 місяці тому +11

      Beautifully said and so true! ❤

    • @VEGGIEIB
      @VEGGIEIB 3 місяці тому +6

      Wow! Thankyou Derek for Sharing. Frankie is so beautiful and loved!

    • @SherieRodrigues
      @SherieRodrigues 3 місяці тому +4

      Lovely comment.❤

    • @vanja_amara1111
      @vanja_amara1111 2 місяці тому +2

      🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @Tara-m2g
    @Tara-m2g 3 місяці тому +264

    I started my disappearing act when I was nine, after my mother died from cancer. After I didn’t see her family anymore and my father shut down. No more holidays. No more birthdays. No more warmth. The only thing that made me feel less empty was playing piano and then cooking. No one ever cooked for me after my mother died, but I found some of her recipes and I made them as best I could with what was around. When I had kids, I made everything for them from scratch. I’ve known so little love in my life but I was able to manifest it out of nowhere to make sure my kids were loved. I still feel invisible, but I want to put good things out into the world so that others don’t feel like I do. ❤ thank you for your videos. My household has been vegan for a long long time. I could never hurt an animal or wish violence upon them for my food

    • @tigrette11
      @tigrette11 2 місяці тому +16

      What a beautiful comment

    • @TeresaCook-de6jo
      @TeresaCook-de6jo 2 місяці тому +4

    • @Tara-m2g
      @Tara-m2g 2 місяці тому +9

      @@tigrette11 I read this recently and it filled my heart with renewed purpose and power: Without your wounds where would your power be? It is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men and women. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In Love’s service, only wounded soldiers can serve. … we are all broken and the best in each of us will use that to heal. If not ourselves, then others. Cooking is definitely one of my love languages. I love cooking for people and I do my best to do it well and with care. Many of us do this. It’s is amazing.

    • @niamh6272
      @niamh6272 2 місяці тому +11

      A beautifully written comment, my story is very similar but I couldn't write it like you did ❤

    • @DeKKH
      @DeKKH 2 місяці тому +4

      🌹

  • @timwalsh7186
    @timwalsh7186 3 місяці тому +263

    Nothing needs to suffer or die for me to lead a happy successful life.....a great sentiment.

  • @eileenoreilly1979
    @eileenoreilly1979 3 місяці тому +202

    An Irish prayer that helps me when I am missing those I love on the other side "Death is nothing at all
    I have only slipped away to the next room-
    I am I, and you are you.
    Whatever we were to each other, That, we still are"
    I believe with all my being they are still with us. Guiding. Watching. Protecting.

    • @sn232
      @sn232 3 місяці тому +4

      That is beautifully true

    • @kilodeltawhisky1504
      @kilodeltawhisky1504 3 місяці тому +1

      They are with Jesus! There is no greater love and joy.

    • @esthermitchell7131
      @esthermitchell7131 3 місяці тому +1

      Beautiful prayer thank you for sharing 🙏

    • @mgeeees460
      @mgeeees460 3 місяці тому +1

      Amen

  • @tamiddlemas
    @tamiddlemas 3 місяці тому +260

    You’re changing the world one person at a time by speaking about this. I just quit a 30 year career in Tech to become a certified End of Life Doula to help normalize death, and embrace talking about loss openly. No one should have to be alone in their grief because the people in their lives don’t know how to support them (no judgement - it’s endemic in our society). You are a beautiful soul, Derek. Thank you for this video. It’s my favorite to date. ❤

    • @sharonb537
      @sharonb537 3 місяці тому +10

      Congratulations on hopefully a very gratifying transition out of binary 0s and 1s.

    • @TheNovemberRose
      @TheNovemberRose 3 місяці тому +1

    • @TheNovemberRose
      @TheNovemberRose 3 місяці тому

      ​❤@@sharonb537

    • @michelegangaware5250
      @michelegangaware5250 3 місяці тому +2

      How are you feeling about being a doula? I did an introductory session, I feel it calling to me in some ways but not sure.

    • @Tara-m2g
      @Tara-m2g 3 місяці тому +3

      I have a feeling the only time I won’t be alone is when I die IF I am lucky enough to get somewhere to be taken care of 😅 I’m so happy you have followed your heart to be there for people when they most need to be loved

  • @MJibco
    @MJibco 2 місяці тому +51

    I’m Grieving as well. my beautiful magical gifted Daughter . Just two years ago. Everyday I tragically miss her. Her beautiful Service Dog, Sir Teddy, is my Warrior and Helper . He keeps me busy and healthy .

  • @tree3po
    @tree3po 3 місяці тому +228

    Brother, I can tell your Frankie is a savior to you. She is a gift from above.

    • @nizahe2731
      @nizahe2731 3 місяці тому +1

      Why are you people saying things like that, I don't get it... there is no "above".

    • @tree3po
      @tree3po 3 місяці тому +26

      @@nizahe2731 It's a state of mind, bud. Please feel free to move along if you don't want to believe that, it's not up for debate.

    • @CATSFOREVER308
      @CATSFOREVER308 3 місяці тому +16

      ​@@nizahe2731How do you know?Stop telling others what to believe,you are entitled to your belief,have the courtesy and decency to let others have theirs and it's irritating when negative nelly s like you come here and spoil it for the rest of us.

    • @terredee
      @terredee 3 місяці тому

      @@CATSFOREVER308
      I had a near death experience when I was eight yo. My first realization was that I was above the scene (about 10 feet up), my body laying on the ground and surrounded by worried friends and family (all kids around my age). Me wondering how I could see without eyeballs. Seriously! That was my first thought up there.
      Hovering above is very common in NDEs. If you read more you’ll see that, when returned to the body after the literally wonderful experience* people often tell witnesses what they said and did, and the listeners are shocked because they are correct (because it actually happened). This includes many people who had flatlined in hospital.
      In my case, they were mad at me because they thought I faked laying there and not breathing for several minutes.
      *All NDEs have commonalities, like the hovering, but the heart of the experience is different for most. In my case, I traveled around a planet in a stream of souls that looked like points of light, then ended up in an oak tree who could feel all the life in branches, bark and and roots. I was that oak tree.
      It’s no wonder people named the other side Heaven, Jannah, Shamayim, etc. and built marvelous myths around it.

    • @terredee
      @terredee 3 місяці тому

      @@nizahe2731
      I had a near death experience when I was eight yo. My first realization was that I was above the scene (about 10 feet up), my body laying on the ground and surrounded by worried friends and family (all kids around my age). Me wondering how I could see without eyeballs. Seriously! That was my first thought up there.
      Hovering above is very common in NDEs. If you read more you’ll see that, when returned to the body after the literally wonderful experience* people often tell witnesses what they said and did, and the listeners are shocked because they are correct (because it actually happened). This includes many people who had flatlined in hospital.
      In my case, they were mad at me because they thought I faked laying there and not breathing for several minutes.
      *All NDEs have commonalities, like the hovering, but the heart of the experience is different for most. In my case, I traveled around a planet in a stream of souls that looked like points of light, then ended up in an oak tree who could feel all the life in branches, bark and and roots. I was that oak tree.
      It’s no wonder people named the other side Heaven, Jannah, Shamayim, etc. and built marvelous myths around it.

  • @jackiefox7224
    @jackiefox7224 3 місяці тому +78

    I lost my husband of almost 30 years 1 month ago. He was in pain, but manageable. He was slowing down considerably in his last month. Sleeping a lot. I am plant based and he was pretty much so. His appetite was good even up to the night before he passed. I miss him terribly. As the all the fuss abates from this, (going to the bank, getting all the paperwork done, figuring out the computer)… I find the evenings so quiet. People really don’t know what to say, and I get that. I will find my way. I found your video comforting as I love cooking and make food for not just myself, but I tend to give some to friends (who love my cooking, bless their hearts, as I always make too much)… He was 84. I’m 72. There are pockets of deep sadness, but nothing is permanent, so I know this will pass. Thank you for sharing your story. And your incredible talent for cooking. 🇨🇦

    • @sarahnortheastenglanduk6276
      @sarahnortheastenglanduk6276 19 днів тому +3

      Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤

    • @mcanultymichelle
      @mcanultymichelle 14 днів тому +2

      Give it time .I have heard for every year you spent together it takes a month to start to heal. so give it time.. those sad feelings will turn into joyful memories, I promise.

  • @tereclemmer7923
    @tereclemmer7923 3 місяці тому +78

    This was one of the most beautiful videos I have ever seen. It honors you and your loved one. Thank you for sharing.

  • @sherbsville
    @sherbsville 2 місяці тому +21

    thankyou so much for this. its exactly what i needed. its 18 weeks today since my dad was killed. he was my world. the last person i had, apart from my bestfriend, who lives in america, and is deep in depression. so i cant burden him. everyone else i love, is dead. mum was killed 9 yrs ago. my brother died 26 yrs ago. everyone else went along the way. i really appreciate the time limit idea, as lately ive been in total denial. pretending its not real. it bubbles up sometimes, but i push it down. with mum i lost myself in it, but i had dad to look after me. now i have no one. this is a beautiful tribute, to her beautiful soul. you have helped me more than you can ever understand. im just counting down until i join everyone, but dont want to let them down by wasting the time i have left. grief sucks. sending love to you and everyone who knows it. sorry it was so long. i doubt anyone will read it anyway. 💕💖💕

  • @LeighChism
    @LeighChism 3 місяці тому +185

    When I received the alert that you had posted this video, I was sitting in the dark and crying after having received my final divorce papers. My heart immediately went to you and your struggle. The strength you developed on your journey is inspiring. Thank you for the perspective. 💚

    • @barbarar.7665
      @barbarar.7665 3 місяці тому +19

      I am so sorry. Praying for you. I know how difficult that is. Blessings and hugs

    • @barbiec4312
      @barbiec4312 3 місяці тому +11

      So sorry. ❤

    • @sandrae5609
      @sandrae5609 3 місяці тому +12

      From experience, you too will find your strength. A good friend gave me this advice: you must do something for yourself to help you move forward. What have you always wanted to learn or accomplished. Once you take that step, a whole new world will open itself to you.

    • @leisurelyuplift
      @leisurelyuplift 3 місяці тому +5

      Namo Amituofo. Good blessings to U. May U be well and happy.

    • @kilodeltawhisky1504
      @kilodeltawhisky1504 3 місяці тому +2

      Divorce is literally ripping what has become one, in two. Divorce has been destroying lives for decades. Not just the married, but their children feel and live this destruction.
      I'm so sorry my dear! Jesus Christ was the only one to mend my heart, heal it, return it to whole and able to feel joy. He was my LAST hope. He did not disappoint, and I live in amazement of His Grace. I MUST SHARE because nothing else comes close to the love of God. May God bless you.

  • @tubaphantom
    @tubaphantom 3 місяці тому +73

    Nearly four years ago, my husband and I lost our 24-year-old daughter to her self-negating mental illness. By telling your story of loss and grief you've provided help with healing for many, including me. My husband doesn't talk much about losing our girl, but I talk all the time. He digs into the dirt and has created beautiful gardens around our home. Reminds me of you preparing food. I strongly believe that, in healing, we may discover who we were meant to be. I am counting on that and I firmly believe that the love we have for our lost ones grows and grows over time. It is a blessing. The love just IS. Thank you.

  • @karensimon876
    @karensimon876 3 місяці тому +311

    Lost my partner 11 years ago in a car accident, also not his fault. I chose to forgive the other driver and I found peace.

    • @lynnemanning9553
      @lynnemanning9553 3 місяці тому +12

      💟💟💟 Very wise person...

    • @pdblouin
      @pdblouin 3 місяці тому +18

      I wish I could live somewhere without traffic violence but the entire planet is infested with cars.

    • @LoveYourself-my9nz
      @LoveYourself-my9nz 3 місяці тому +6

      You don't need to forgive the driver to live in peace. Being overkind to wrong people only increase the crimes. Just remember that you didn't do it and your partner must had wanted you to live your life happily. You can feel sad time to time because it's natural but don't let it to overpower your whole life.

    • @Elishwagalle
      @Elishwagalle 2 місяці тому +2

      @@LoveYourself-my9nzwho said the other driver was “wrong”?What if the other driver just made a mistake like we all do? What if they were reckless in life and on the road because of some other factor like their childhood experience ? Distracted thinking of something bad that happened too them recently ? You can and should always forgive. People are what they were given. And we all make mistakes big and small.

    • @pdblouin
      @pdblouin Місяць тому +3

      @@Elishwagalle Humans make mistakes, that's why we need to lower the cost of a mistake. If I run into someone while zoned out, but I'm walking, we're both fine. But I can't avoid cars at all, I'm forced to always live my life in fear that someone will kill me while zoned out.

  • @YogaHippie70
    @YogaHippie70 2 місяці тому +27

    Fellow vegan here, 15 years. I just discovered you a few weeks back. Love your channel!
    I lost the love of my life four years ago July 23rd. I’m no stranger to grief, but it still really sucks! Sadly it is just part of this life we live. It gets better only if we face it, move through it in time as you e been doing. They are with us always. 🩷
    Thank you for sharing your story. ❤

  • @lstevie7
    @lstevie7 3 місяці тому +230

    Thanks for sharing this powerful, albeit painful story. This honors her. May her memory be forever for a blessing.❤

    • @dianafalletta2635
      @dianafalletta2635 3 місяці тому +1

      Ok
      Yuu want to know the truth extreme doesn’t work

  • @sn232
    @sn232 3 місяці тому +11

    Thank you for sharing, you are loved and appreciated...you make a difference in many ways, and in the 10:13 minutes of our lives that we took to watch and listen to your story, thoughts, feelings, process of walking through grieving the loss of a loved one, that gift from you made a difference for many.

  • @speckledpup617
    @speckledpup617 3 місяці тому +132

    I lost my husband 2 years ago. So very hard. I am learning how to move forward WITH him instead of moving on. He is always a part of me.

  • @manasigadgil8525
    @manasigadgil8525 3 місяці тому +18

    Thank you for sharing your story, Derek. I'm a 23-year-old woman and you've inspired me to eat better and be more compassionate 💗
    Hope you know that you're carrying on Amanda's legacy by inspiring millions of us to be more empathetic. The world needs more people like you :)

  • @christineschonmayr5954
    @christineschonmayr5954 3 місяці тому +107

    I am so grateful for you making this video!
    As a doctor who works in oncology I often have to deal with people loosing their loved ones. Sadly our culture has los many of the rituals and wisdom of dealing with death.
    Many people think they just have to get on with life and lose themselves in the process.
    You are such a strong person, dealing with the loss of Amanda and turning towards love and compassion instead of cynicism and bitterness.
    Please know that you are one truly precious human being who teaches so many of us how to show compassion!!

    • @TeresaCook-de6jo
      @TeresaCook-de6jo 2 місяці тому +6

      And you as well. The wonderful things you said could be said about you as well. How wonderful you are a physician. 💕

  • @kristybeck3494
    @kristybeck3494 2 місяці тому +11

    Sitting in the grief...what a brave thing to do. 6 years ago on the last day of July, 2018, with no warning, the phone call came from a New Orleans cop that my beautiful 22 year old son, Jacob, was found dead of an accidental overdose. For at least 3 years after, I couldn't listen to music or sit for any minutes without distraction. Thinking and music and talking made me feel and I couldn't bear the weight of those feelings. I think in grief- we each do what we can to survive, to keep breathing in the midst of unbearable pain and anguish. Much love to you on the loss of your loved one in this life

    • @barriegrubb5682
      @barriegrubb5682 Місяць тому +3

      Much love to you for what you have endured. God bless you * your family.

  • @Take_Your_Time_I_Can_Wait
    @Take_Your_Time_I_Can_Wait 3 місяці тому +86

    This is a beautiful tribute to Amanda.

  • @TReyes4
    @TReyes4 16 днів тому +4

    It was brave and vulnerable to share your story - thank you, Derek! What you are adding to the world is beautiful; Amanda is shining through. ❤

  • @Brockstar
    @Brockstar 3 місяці тому +87

    I can't imagine how difficult it must've been to make this video. The fact you decided to share this with your audience exemplifies your compassion and desire to help others, whether it be through delicious, non-harmful recipes, or sharing life experiences. Thank you Derek! ☮️

    • @EricaRossini-s3b
      @EricaRossini-s3b 3 місяці тому

      Non harmful how? If you care about animal lives then you surely would be concerned about the pesticides that kill animals who try to eat the plants. No such thing as harmless 😂.

    • @fairwearth690
      @fairwearth690 3 місяці тому +1

      @@EricaRossini-s3b Unless you grow your own organic vegetables.

  • @nadeeshadissanayaka2015
    @nadeeshadissanayaka2015 Місяць тому +5

    Proud of you sir, love and respect from a Buddhist from Sri Lanka!

  • @kellbell60
    @kellbell60 3 місяці тому +118

    Sorry for your loss. Love how you’ve turned grief into compassion for all living things. Thank you for sharing how Amanda lives on through your work.

  • @Christy_D
    @Christy_D 3 місяці тому +12

    I lost my amazing husband to cancer in 2011. He was 52. Amazingly HE was my strength not the other way around. It has been a tough road since ( but with lots of animals) and i so appreciate your commentary about grief!

  • @marcianapolitano7375
    @marcianapolitano7375 3 місяці тому +177

    I've been following your videos for a few months now, but this one stopped me in my tracks. 26 years ago, at the tender age of 2, my son KNEW that eating animal products was just wrong. He lived virtually meat free and was way ahead of his time. He was taken from me 6 years ago and every single one of your words resonates with me... From dealing with friends to dealing with the self.... it's HARD. Finding that purpose and reason to get out of bed every day is so important. I send you all the white light and healing energy. Thank you for sharing with all of us, Derek 💜

    • @lillybrooks7662
      @lillybrooks7662 3 місяці тому +18

      I’m so terribly sorry for your unthinkable loss… sending you so much love…

    • @craftlover9702
      @craftlover9702 3 місяці тому +9

      Very sorry for your loss....

    • @SovrinWealth
      @SovrinWealth 3 місяці тому +5

      Wow - that's some sucker punch....

    • @Deb_BG
      @Deb_BG 3 місяці тому +2

      I'm so sorry for your loss.

    • @FunUrth
      @FunUrth 3 місяці тому +2

      The suffering is never ending. Finding new ways to support our hearts is crucial to not just survival but thriving in the face of the worst pain we ever know. Bless you and your family. Your son is blessed for his beautifully crafted family❤

  • @createwithbarbbl4125
    @createwithbarbbl4125 3 місяці тому +18

    Thank you Derek for this lovely tribute to Amanda. Being vegan has lost me 'friends' and I have been abused for it too, but when something is right, and you feel the pain of all living creatures, it's the only way to go. Francesca soaks up a lot of love, what a dear sweet doggo she is.

    • @ajharl562
      @ajharl562 3 місяці тому

      Plants cry too

  • @linzertube
    @linzertube 3 місяці тому +49

    Amanda made a big difference in your life, while she lived and when she passed. What a life to honour. Thank you for sharing your life with Amanda, as well as, your experience with dealing with tragic loss. This was lovely, Derek. I’m so glad you have Frankie…she is a little love bug.❤❤❤

  • @mybizzykitchen
    @mybizzykitchen 3 місяці тому +7

    I had to remember after my husband died almost 10 years ago that life is for the living. I had to let go of our dreams of us buying a lake house in Wisconsin. He would fish, I would cook the fish, I wouldn't eat the fish. 😂 I think he would be proud of the life I created after he left though - and that brings me joy. Sending hugs to you during this difficult month.

  • @silvsilvsilv
    @silvsilvsilv 3 місяці тому +72

    "Nobody asked me how I felt *_about it._* "
    I lost my dad when I was 16, and my mom when I was 32, and this little phrase made me reflect a lot. Plenty of people will ask you how you feel, but nobody asks how you feel specifically about that loss.

    • @FunUrth
      @FunUrth 3 місяці тому

      People don't know asking questions help us heal our souls❤

    • @bartwensink6445
      @bartwensink6445 2 місяці тому +1

      ⁠@@FunUrthI think that people are just afraid to ask or discuss the loss for fear of hurting the individual. Talk may help heal but it is the sadness that is so very difficult.

  • @allencaruthers867
    @allencaruthers867 3 місяці тому +5

    I lost my wife 2 yrs ago in August from cancer. I am still fighting the grief and trying to figure out where I’m going now. It is so hard to let her go. As you said, it’s a lonely time. It tore my heart from my chest. I’m allowing myself grace now. Which is a major step forward. Thanks again for sharing your story. It gave me time to reflect.

  • @MotionFriend
    @MotionFriend 3 місяці тому +76

    I love you Derek. What you share with plant foods is helping me tremendously. Thank you for existing with such grace and compassion.

  • @georginabastien49
    @georginabastien49 2 дні тому +1

    Feeling the feelings is all part of the healing. So many shutdown and repress their emotions cuz in the moment they can be just too painful to actually feel! I have lost so many in my life, that I don’t even know ‘how’ I made it! I was just a high-functional super responsible person all my life! After a lifetime of repressed emotions, I’m finally working through the feelings and expressing them - which I do with the help of an EMDR Psychologist (Ph.D.). I do all the work and I have come to love all my emotions and am grateful for them - they help me feel alive! I too just experienced an anniversary, the hugest loss - my Mom - when I was just 11, which is now over 50 years ago. I feel ya!

    • @georginabastien49
      @georginabastien49 2 дні тому

      Your fiancé was an amazing woman and you were so fortunate to have her in your life! My condolences!

  • @anisoto248
    @anisoto248 3 місяці тому +43

    Dearest Derek, wow, tears shedding here. I just only found you a few days ago, loving your style and food, amazing flavors, prescribed and purchased your book. I felt something was missing and sadness you held deep in your heart, now , I see the missing puzzle piece , your jewel , Amanda. My heart deeply goes out to you , so beautiful the way you love her. I love that you looked into her book and saw the meaning, the peace in your yard and Francesca who keep you company, your energy you put into cooking and giving us your precious gift, Thank YOU , 🙏🏻

  • @annebivans2198
    @annebivans2198 Місяць тому +3

    So beautiful and heartfelt, Derek. Twenty five years for me. Look how people are responding to you, they really feel understood. People don't like to talk to the grieving about their loved one because they think they might hurt them, when the opposite is really true, that they love to hear their loved one remembered and talked about. She was beautiful, thank you for sharing her memory.

  • @kair7369
    @kair7369 3 місяці тому +30

    She would be proud of what you have accomplished and the messages & cooking you share with the world.

  • @FullyRawKristina
    @FullyRawKristina 3 місяці тому +6

    You are amazing my friend. This was so brave of you to share. Thank you for all that you share with the world. 🙏🏽

  • @LLJerseyGirl
    @LLJerseyGirl 3 місяці тому +29

    The tears fell for this video. It’s 18 months since my love ended his life. When I met him 12 years ago, I knew he wouldn’t be around long…deep in my being, it sounds crazy. I did everything I could to help him and it wasn’t enough. I was sending texts and being all normal rambling on and he was already gone. 😢 I lost my mom 17 years ago…just 4 days after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Again, I knew long before and couldn’t get her physicians to listen and she refused second opinions because she didn’t want to offend them. 💔 Thank you for all you do, Derek. You definitely add value and enhance my passion for cooking. Your continued vulnerability and love for all is an inspiration. I wanted to become a death doula because I want the stigma around death and grief to be broken…maybe one day. It’s conversations like your video that will continue to reach those that need it. Much love to you and Frankie. “Grief is just love with no where to go.”

  • @rojioyama248
    @rojioyama248 4 дні тому +2

    Thank you Derek sharing your transformation through your grief journey. I feel and relate to your experience as I lost my beloved just over a year ago to ovarian cancer. The landscape of my life has been transformed into a new reality, a world without the one who meant so much to me on so many levels. You honor Amanda as I honor my Kengi. Our lives were forever touched by their presence and love in our lives. Your resolve to remap your life with deep meaning and conviction is most admirable. I see the grace and respect bestowed upon your creations, a true work of love. Your dishes emanate joy and ultimate edibility. May your fountain of creativity never cease, for you are bringing joy to all, vegan and non-vegan. 🙏

  • @Jessie-ev2th
    @Jessie-ev2th 3 місяці тому +54

    Was 15 years in June. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me as it feels all other people are able to move on. Thank you for acknowledging that it is normal. And people grief differently.
    Also being single ever since. No one can measure up to him.

  • @bleuwild6796
    @bleuwild6796 10 днів тому +2

    I could wait to type after drying the tears, but the tears do not stop. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for your many lessons. You have a beautiful soul.

  • @VeganSquirrel
    @VeganSquirrel 3 місяці тому +82

    I lost my partner a little over a year ago. Your story is truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing your gift and baring your soul. 🙏❤

    • @EvelynBaron
      @EvelynBaron 3 місяці тому +2

      I have a similar story. I launched into a retelling and then thought it's obvious others share that deep feeling. Tx for your comment. Derek a good man indeed.

  • @yellowmoonstudios
    @yellowmoonstudios 9 днів тому +2

    Hi Derek- thank you so much for sharing your very personal and beautiful story and photos. I have experienced grief many times in my life. From the time I was nine until very recently at the (unbelievable) age of 70 and my heart resonates with the many layered process you describe. And also, each of us grieves so differently and for the amount of time that is right for us as beings on our own unique journey. I have only recently discovered your channel and I wanted to express my gratitude and admiration for your work!

  • @eileencorcoran127
    @eileencorcoran127 3 місяці тому +24

    You are beautiful Derek.
    Through my losses…I have discovered that if you truly love another…you will be OK.
    You will be OK…because love can never die.
    Keep loving Amanda and you will sprinkle her beauty throughout every moment of your wonderful life.
    I now know why your food is so beautiful.

  • @kinectedpilatesstudio8075
    @kinectedpilatesstudio8075 29 днів тому +2

    I hear you, I feel you. I’ve just passed a 20yr anniversary of a traumatic death of my boyfriend. Nothing prepares you for it. Nothing takes it away. The space they occupy is always there - but somehow we grow around that space. And we love again. And we feel again. And we laugh again. I did very similar things to get me through - felt EVERY emotion, no drugs entered my system to numb or dumb the pain, I had spiritual shifts. People didn’t/couldn’t understand how I was coping. Sending you immense love for sharing your story 💚

  • @tracyoconnell1317
    @tracyoconnell1317 3 місяці тому +23

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am also grieving and I recently stopped drinking because I need to sit in my emotions and just feel it all. I think our busy lives have everyone numb and mindless which makes it all so much harder but everyday it’s worth it. July is also my more sensitive month. I will be thinking of you and your love for Amanda. Thanks for all you do and share with us!❤❤

  • @jenniferhopetinker4783
    @jenniferhopetinker4783 3 місяці тому +5

    Thank you for sharing. Grief ebbs and flows and healing isn’t linear. Your presence and vulnerability is a gift to others. Sending you so much compassion. 🙏

  • @normawingo5116
    @normawingo5116 3 місяці тому +39

    Thank you Derek, my beloved husband lost his 11 year battle with pancreatic cancer 2 years ago. It is so overwhelming. You said several things that gave me a new perspective. I’m probably going to watch this a few more times. If nothing else death does make us feel everything.

  • @Taubear
    @Taubear 10 днів тому +2

    Straight from the heart. Thank you for sharing your story and excellent plant based recipes. I wish you well.

  • @craigleadley2472
    @craigleadley2472 3 місяці тому +19

    I knew nothing about your story. Thank you for sharing this beautiful video which moved me to tears.

  • @marchrioter7957
    @marchrioter7957 3 місяці тому +2

    I read once that love is energy, and energy cannot be destroyed, meaning that Love lives forever. Their love is always with us, in our hearts, our body. And i can see that so clearly hearing you talk about Amanda.

  • @lindalinda0316
    @lindalinda0316 3 місяці тому +40

    Wow, thank you for this video, Derek. I appreciate your vulnerability and authenticity - both of which are difficult to cultivate in our current times. I adopted a vegan lifestyle over 20 years ago for ethical reasons and I love your channel and recipes - thank you again...hug Frankie. ❤

  • @KayWg
    @KayWg 3 місяці тому +4

    “Grief is an opportunity to find Meaning in life. A lesson about compassion.”
    Thank you for sharing with us 🙏🏻💚

  • @Psysium
    @Psysium 3 місяці тому +11

    Grief followed me for 11 years and I couldn't figure it out. It occupied half of all my thoughts every single day. I figured I should be over it after a decade and was too embarrassed to bring it up. It wasn't until last month when I told a friend it was the anniversary of her leaving and that it hit especially hard. He asked if memories were intrusive and I said yes. And he told me, amongst other things, that I could be experiencing trauma. Chronic grief is a trauma. Just naming the thing that had been haunting me for years, allowing it to be seen, having it also validated by my therapist, allowed me to let it go. Things I knew in my heart-of-hearts clicked into place after that. The grief no longer feels like a burden, but a visitation - a bird instead of an iron anchor. I think I needed to learn a lot of lessons to get to this point, I had to build the bridge before I could walk across it. Years of therapy, lots of journaling and reading and introspection. Everybody's bridges are different, and everyone grieves differently.
    Thank you for sharing your grief, Derek. It allows us to love you more.

    • @clairrook9854
      @clairrook9854 3 місяці тому

      This is beautiful 🫶 Love and light to you xxx

  • @kerryjordan2525
    @kerryjordan2525 3 місяці тому +4

    I had wondered how you came to be you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story of Amanda, her passing and your own life now dedicated to harming no-body. We are all earth beings, deserving to live full lives.

  • @spike6036
    @spike6036 3 місяці тому +36

    Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and painful story. It was meaningful to hear. 🙏🙏🙏

  • @sarahreynolds1200
    @sarahreynolds1200 2 місяці тому +1

    Thanks for sharing your story. Loved ones are always with us, and I truly believe that they will always help guide us through life. You’re changing the world one meal at a time, don’t ever doubt that.❤

  • @jeremyhorne81
    @jeremyhorne81 3 місяці тому +26

    May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
    May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
    May all beings rejoice in the well-being of others.
    May all beings live in peace, free from greed and hatred.

  • @louisea966
    @louisea966 3 місяці тому +38

    love, hugs and peace to you Derek

  • @ArtHeart88
    @ArtHeart88 3 місяці тому +2

    Thanks for sharing all that you do. Very relatable. I lost my partner of 15 years and best friend, and father of my child, 15 years ago. Our daughter and I have been vegan for 8 years. Grief does change you. In a very weird way, I almost kind of envy the purity of your grief, how you’re able to honor her in your tattoos. My husband had a mental breakdown that turned him into a monster the last year. The human rights activist I knew and loved was overtaken by unresolved ptsd, and in turn committed horrific acts. Talk about complicated grief! And certainly not something anyone wants to talk about. Anyway, I’m inspired by how you handle your grief. Books rooted in Buddhism helped me the most in the years after he died. Now being a legal aid lawyer, helping poor clients, being vegan, and being the best mom I can be all gets me through the days.

  • @TenguMonk
    @TenguMonk 3 місяці тому +24

    I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I lost my little girl in 2014. I'm still in the throws of her death. This connects with me on such a profound level. I can't thank you enough.

  • @greenspiritarts
    @greenspiritarts 22 дні тому +1

    Namaste ❤

  • @galebecker3487
    @galebecker3487 3 місяці тому +8

    Derek, my heart feels bruised, hearing about Amanda. Time does heal the wounds, but the scars always remain. So to look at the scars and trace their story with love and light, the journey will continue as you live your life with compassion and caring. ❤. Dearest Frankie, with a heart and spirit of pure gold will be by your side to help you along your daily life. I'm so grateful to have found your channel and you light up my day with your chats, recipes and gentle way with a hint of chilli. Take care and hugs to Frankie with her golden eyes. Gale x

  • @lindsayponiryan
    @lindsayponiryan 5 днів тому +1

    DEREK !!!! Thank you -- I’ve been such a fan for your fantastic cooking and amazing videos. To share so deeply and let us really get to know you is such a gift piled next to all the many gifts you give with your videos, your compassion and how you freely give us recipes for tasty amazing less harmful food. I am so inspired and feel so lucky to have this channel. Please give Frankie a big kiss for me. THANK YOU FOR BEING A SHINING EXAMPLE.

  • @Terika-
    @Terika- 3 місяці тому +15

    Derek , thank you for showing your authentic side through your vulnerability in this video .
    May Peace be with you ✨️ 🙏 ❤

  • @jameshoeve4466
    @jameshoeve4466 2 місяці тому +1

    You are truly a beautiful human being. Your compassionate presence contributes such a powerful energy in healing the suffering, in your life and the entire world. ❤

  • @kfitz192
    @kfitz192 3 місяці тому +11

    I am so so sorry for your loss. My hubby died almost 10 years ago from cancer. I miss him everyday. For me, the best way to honor the dead, is by living a rich, beautiful life filled with love and laughter. Being happy doing the things you love and having compassion for all living beings. I'd love it if talking about death was more normalized. I'm so glad you shared today. It was beautiful. You are brave. Sending love and light.🕯️🕯️🕯️

  • @joannW319
    @joannW319 3 місяці тому +2

    Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you lost such a beautiful soul, grief seems to never go away, the huge loss is always with us, sadly. Amanda would so very proud of you and for the path you have chosen for yourself and for remembering over the last 17 years what she meant to you. I am thinking of you during this tough time, I have been there, you are not alone.Stay awesome and again......kiss your adorable fur baby for me.🙏🐾

  • @myjewelry4u
    @myjewelry4u 3 місяці тому +15

    I watched this video with my hand over my mouth.
    My husband and I divorced after 25 years and raising a family. We always wanted to be friends again, we didn’t have that chance.

  • @2Corinthians1-3
    @2Corinthians1-3 3 місяці тому +2

    My love for you grows with every video you make. You truly are an amazing human being.Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your heart.❤❤❤

  • @markrohit
    @markrohit 3 місяці тому +10

    I admire your love and commitment to Amanda. I admire your willingness to change and become your best at helping and serving others. This was a raw, soul-bearing video, but it was worth the struggle to put it out. What are we all here for if not to show who we are deep inside and embrace one another with the deepest respect and empathy? God bless you, Derek! You have touched many lives and are fulfilling your life's mission!

  • @jessicafeldheim7542
    @jessicafeldheim7542 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for revealing your vulnerability and sharing your love for Amanda and your grief. You at such a deep man, and being willing to face your pain is not for cowards. Lots of love and hugs

  • @MrChecknate
    @MrChecknate 3 місяці тому +13

    God bless you, my friend 🙏. You might not see it, but your passion for the changes made in your life has affected a group of folks. You can tell that Amanda's spirit moves on through you. Many blessings.

  • @Surrealist_369
    @Surrealist_369 2 години тому

    I am so sorry for your loss 💔
    You popped into my feed which was confusing for various reasons but as I watched I felt a sadness in your videos and felt compelled to find the source and here it is. I know you will, one day, be less burdened by this void.

  • @davidtrevino9473
    @davidtrevino9473 3 місяці тому +20

    You are an inspiration Derek. Thank you for sharing this video 🙏

  • @Bonniefujii
    @Bonniefujii 3 місяці тому +4

    Namaste 🙏 🙏🙏

  • @Ag45727
    @Ag45727 3 місяці тому +21

    The last few days I’ve been recovering from surgery and binge watching your content. I love your world outlook and calm/loving spirit.
    Thank you for making this video. This was obviously difficult for you, but please know that you are touching all of our hearts with your positive impact and we appreciate you ❤

  • @maryc1952
    @maryc1952 2 місяці тому +2

    I am touched by your story and I love your dog. I had a black lab who sadly passed away about a year and a half ago. I miss all the hugs and kisses.

  • @dianeleirer9878
    @dianeleirer9878 3 місяці тому +13

    “You are not your thoughts.” Thank you for that reminder and for sharing your feelings. I personally feel the emotion of grief is by far the hardest-there’s no road map.💚

  • @TearsofJobs
    @TearsofJobs 11 годин тому

    Amanda was an angel, a catalyst for your spiritual transformation.

  • @PacifierMusic
    @PacifierMusic 3 місяці тому +10

    Your history is devastating and beautiful. What an incredible journey to reach the point where you discovered every living thing is precious. Thank you

  • @sumaclane8020
    @sumaclane8020 11 днів тому +1

    thanks for this ... i had a similar situation... my husband died and its taken foever to process and find a new path... its been a few years ... and then my young daughter in law died 2 weeks before her 40th biirthday ... the greif overwhelming and feeling helpless not being able to take the pain awafyfor my son... i started painting before and in when this happend I found it agan... it has saved me ...much like your cooking has done for you .. 17 years for you 20 for me .. your passion is healing... thanks

  • @mizzounyc
    @mizzounyc 3 місяці тому +15

    Damn....what a beautiful tribute to Amanda. Thank you, for sharing your love for her and also your journey to healing. I send hugs to you.

  • @furumarara87
    @furumarara87 26 днів тому +1

    I lost two friends last year, and i still try to come over it, thank you for this video

  • @grand-merev.1104
    @grand-merev.1104 3 місяці тому +12

    Since becoming plant based 14 years ago my cooking style has evolved. I cook for myself and others every day. My internal mantra is “I serve”. Meditation has also assisted on my journey in unimaginable ways. Thanks to you and your generous time and incredible recipes. I’ve been able to cook outside the box, I mean, they are wow! You are a tofu genius!!
    Also. Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing your love, and grief Derek.

  • @awanderingdream2093
    @awanderingdream2093 3 місяці тому +10

    The man that changed my life, rocked my world, made me be a better person and who finally helped me feel like I belonged somewhere on this path went to work and never came home. He went Home. I had to make the decision to remove life support and this September its 3 yrs. My whole world crashed and burned. So much instability followed that crushing. I truly believe it was his soul’s journey and mine to experience it. I am coming out of the fog now and I hear his voice urging me to not only live but to thrive! To me the lesson is not the loss, the lesson is that we loved each unconditionally and accepted each other as we were. He gave me the gift of helping him transition Home. It wasn’t about my journey at the time, it never is. It was about his journey. Its always about those departing this path’s journey. I am stronger. I am courageous. He is my messenger and showed me a new way of life. A life full of service, compassion, and not ‘I’ll do it someday. I’ll be happy when…’ my happiness is NOW. Be in the NOW. LOVE IN THE NOW. Its for certain all we have. Embrace it. Thanks for listening. Derek, sending you and anyone reading this love✌🏻

  • @shaboogen
    @shaboogen 3 місяці тому +2

    You're a good man mate. I'm glad your perspective exists.

  • @TheMarkRich
    @TheMarkRich 3 місяці тому +18

    Loss is hard. I have lost much and many and it's never something previous experiences help with. I feel your pain. I'm not your acquaintance. I don't know you beyond the videos but please accept my hugs and thank you for the food suggestions and there is a community of people here who care.

  • @alchemist8064
    @alchemist8064 5 днів тому +1

    So much beauty here in your words. May you continue to find peace inside yourself and grow in your capacity to hold the entirety of who you are. ❤

  • @summerStill
    @summerStill 3 місяці тому +14

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost many family members. Grief is hard to explain. I haven't had any foods that harm animals or use chemicals that harm the earth in 30 years. I try to save animals daily that need help. You have been an inspiration & helped me upgrade my cooking. Thank you for being who you are.

  • @juanamorales5035
    @juanamorales5035 11 днів тому +1

    It’s a beautiful story and thank you for sharing. I was in tears by the end of it.

  • @tessobrien8364
    @tessobrien8364 3 місяці тому +16

    Im so sorry for your loss... I completely understand... My husband took himself off the planet 30 yrs ago im still struggling 😢

  • @tinawhitehorn2442
    @tinawhitehorn2442 3 місяці тому +1

    I just recently found you and have been enjoying your cooking style and ethics. Tears came to my eyes today viewing this. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your grief. Please keep your light shining for all of us.

  • @dmckenzie9281
    @dmckenzie9281 3 місяці тому +15

    Wow! Thank you for everything that you do. You do make a difference. I am sorry for the loss of your partner and the grief that you have experienced. Much love and respect.

  • @maryuri506
    @maryuri506 3 місяці тому +1

    Ever since I found your chanel I look up to you, because you are an amazing cook. Now after listeng to your story I feel even more respect and admiration. May her memory always bring you peace and joy when you need it most. Thank you for this space, and for sharing how necessary is to cultivate love and compassion. Take care Kisses to frankie (she is adorable).

  • @RashomiSilva
    @RashomiSilva 3 місяці тому +4

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Amanda was a beautiful human being both inside and out. I clicked on this video, thinking it would be another recipe video, but this was.. I don't have words to describe this, This is a sad but beautiful story, about love, compassion, redemption, and self-discovery, I don't know what to say except that I wish you and Frankie good health and happiness.

  • @mindygeist7157
    @mindygeist7157 3 місяці тому +1

    ❤ I’m so sorry for your loss,I’m so grateful you’re here.