My son was diagnosed late, aged 9 with adhd and ODD. He was extremely challenging child, we had alot of support gor myself and my son. I wouldn't take anything personal when my son would say he hayed me and wish i was dead, my response was, i love you and i always will its just your behaviour i don't like. He attended many secondary schools. He really didn't like school. Hes now 23 years old and we are extremely close, our love has grown now he's an adult, he has his own home has a job. We are so proud of him. Hes setting a good example to his younger brother who also has ADHD. Just got to take one day at a time. Deep breaths and pick your battles, good luck.
My daughter was recently diagnosed. She does not argue. She's very quiet. She seemingly has a sweet disposition. But she steals, sneaks, lies, acts out vindictively but quietly. She will peel wallpaper because she's angry but no one knows She's angry until we find something she's done. Your kid can have it and not being cussing you out, arguing, or throwing fits.
This fits my 3 yr old so very well! He does this only at home and only when mom is the only adult present. He’s a perfect child for everyone else though. It’s to the point I’m getting so frustrated with him that I have to isolate myself to avoid yelling or having to discipline him somehow since nothing seems to work anyway. I have to calm myself at times just so I can calm him and if I try to explain things to him, he doesn’t even hear me. He does but he will still go straight back to doing the same thing! We’re gonna be seeking counseling to have him diagnosed. It’s seriously effecting my life and my other children negativity at this point and it makes a very miserable environment. But since he only acts out at home and around mom, ppl seem to be quick to judge that I have to be more stern and harder on him and constantly reminding him to listen or to stop doing what I just asked him not to?! I’m seriously struggling with this child and it’s killing me! I don’t know what to do anymore.
Mine is 3 and I believe she has this disorder she's extremely violent with the intent to hurt when upset, she breaks things on purpose if she doesn't get her way yells screams kicks bites all sorts of stuff. I do timeouts and then love her up once she's receptive enough to say sorry then I explain the situation. If I catch the meltdown before it gets too bad I can di the calm down corner where we have posters that show you how to calm down, affirmations, breathing techniques, and sensory toys that make learning these things more fun. I feel I am shooting in the dark and need help everyone tells me the same thing it's normal she will grow out of it don't spoil her spank her whatever and that's wrong UPDATE - she ripped all the calm down posters and pictue frames off the walls!! So much for that idea. At least i had enough sense to put Plexiglas in the frames (lol im not stupid enough to have glass in her room). Learned that the hard way once or twice. The worst was the snowglobe, ever have to clean up a smashed snowglobe lemma tell ya that's a fun time! It didn't have the music or a button that made it light up it was a plain old school one and she snapped shrieked and smashed it.
I’m 14 years old and I think I might be oppositional. I break rules for fun with my friends, I argue frequently with my parents, I’m super touchy, irritable and easily annoyed, I have spiteful and vindictive thoughts, and I also tend to blame others for my mistakes and behaviors. I do have a diagnosis of ADHD which is highly cormobid with ODD so I might have it. I’m gonna ask my therapist.
@Bbb J I’ve changed a lot since I wrote this comment. Now I am an honors student, I do running as a sport, and I try super hard to be kind to everyone. My parents say my behavior is a lot better too and I’m fun to be around. I also try hard not to break rules.
@@louisegarner8888 well I kinda realized one day that I didn’t like who I became. I was hurting myself and everyone around me, and it just didn’t feel good anymore.
@@goofball2228 Thanks for your reply, it makes good sense. It's usually because noone is really listening that we tend to act out. Dr Ross Greene is worth looking up, he has a really good approach to seeing ODD in terms of valuing connection and communication in relationships. Most people don't figure it out so young, be proud of all you've overcome and achieved, you're passing it on to others just by rolemodelling doing what's right for the right reasons! 🏆🎉👏💞😊
My ODD son is now 45 years old. Despite years of therapy in childhood, (both individual and family), meetings with teachers, and social workers visiting our home, we never could get his behavior within any reasonable range. Sometimes, his behavior was dangerous, and necessitated my calling the police. As an adult, he is not lazy, but loses jobs because of fights with bosses and supervisors. If he comes to visit, i ask him to call first, but he almost always shows up unannounced, and he tries to "take charge" the minute he walks in the door. He then proceeds to break the 3 rules i impose, (such as not showing up drunk, or drinking alcohol in my house. He pulls a bottle out of his pocket, locks eyes with me, and takes a swig). I have had to tell him that he is no longer welcome in my home, for now. Thank you for pointing out that they might not behave badly in all situations and settings. As a child, my son was terribly oppositional, defiant, unruly, and sometimes violent at home and at school. He was also often problematic socially, or at the store. My parents would sometimes take him for a week, in the Summer, to their home out of state. At the end of the week, I would invariably hear, "We can't believe that he's as bad as you say. We didn't have ANY of that here. He was a perfect little angel, all week. We took him out to a restaurant, and he was the perfect, well-mannered little gentleman. He makes a good impression. What is it that you do to make him behave that way???" And although he would regularly be oppositional, uncooperative, and rude, acting out at the therapists office, (the therapist even once had to physically restrain him), our therapist once told me that his receptionist was completely enamored of my son. I could see on her face, every time we walked into the office, ("awww ...he's so cute!"). He said that she had told him that my son was the most polite, well-behaved child she had ever seen in her life!
The most frustrating part is when the child can control his temper everywhere but the home. It's been a battle for a couple of years although he has always been defiant from a very younge age. I have tried therapy, now hes at an age they say I cant force him to go. (12) so I'm stuck. Being a single parent doesnt help whatsoever. I have been putting off meds for years, I think I'm at the point of trying it before I get fed up and send him to the other parent who has been MIA for years honestly so i cant imagine it would help. I am just exhausted of the daily issues I have, being bullied by child. I grew up where we got hit if we disrespected our elders. I've tried different strategies but what the therapist do not understand its hard to implement any consequences when they completely disrespect all rules in the home. 😔
It used to be like that for my now 9 year old. But once he gets comfortable in school say 30 days in the new school/classroom his behaviors start showing
Thank you for sharing this- if there's anything along the way that has been helpful, please share! I'm sure others could learn more from your experiences. Dr. Aly
@@dcartagena6428 yes my son is 8 and he is like that as well, at the beginning he is an "angel" but the more comfortable he gets the more phone calls I start receiving. 🙄
My niece has a 5 year old son with ODD. They were at my house for Christmas festivities and dinner and he misbehaved so badly they had to leave. He destroyed my umbrella and jumped on the bed and was about to pull down the ceiling fan and mini blinds. He was at my house for hours and had to be held down several times from trying to hurt others. He is on medication and seeing a therapist. He is in Kindergarden and has already been suspended several times and has head butted and bitten his teacher. My niece does not go anywhere because of her son and even has her groceries delivered. I imagine he will be in jail one day because of his behavior.
@@JayC3492 lol who pissed your Cheerios? Being a mom is easy. Being a mom to kids with behavioral disabilities is completely different. Have you ever had to parent a teenage sociopath? Or are you one? 😂
@Jay C As mentioned in my “About” section- this channel is made for those who want to be part of a community where meaningful connections are made and concerns are validated. Blaming, judging, criticizing, and shaming are not part of that in any way, shape, or form. If that’s what you are looking for, this is not the place for you.
@@JayC3492 why are u even watching these videos just to talk crap? Lol get out of here and go do something useful instead of talking 💩! Nobody asked for your worthless opinion
My son is 6 years old and has ODD bad. I am absolutely going through the worst time right now. I have no idea how to fix this and i’m worried he’ll get expelled from school.
Thank you for taking the time to check out this video! I'm sorry to hear that you and your family are having a difficult time right now. Given that it sounds like symptoms have been impairing day-to-day functioning, I'd suggest talking to your pediatrician and seeing if they can refer you to either a local therapist or a child psychiatrist for further evaluation and treatment. At that age, PCIT (parent child interaction therapy) is often something I suggest to families I work with. Here's a list of some providers based on various locations: pcit.lab.uiowa.edu/parent-child-interaction-therapy-providers If you found this information to be valuable, please don't forget to SUBSCRIBE as more videos are being released weekly. Also, if you have any topic suggestions for future videos, let me know! Best of luck! Dr. Aly
My 4 year old nephew is acting up a lot recently. His new thing is licking people, spitting on his toys, on the ground, in his food or drinks, and spitting at people when he’s upset. He’s also recently began slapping and punching both his grandmas. Both of them cry because they know he’s frustrated and don’t know how to help him. My sister gets so stressed out when she has to go out because she knows he’ll act up. Last week, my mom and I babysat him. He began running around the house and was quite happy but as the day went on he became more irritated and annoyed. He punched my mom in the stomach and I sat him down and talked to him. He seemingly felt bad and apologized. Then a few minutes later he threw a shovel at her. I talked to him firmly and he began crying. I felt bad but I know he needs some structure. I think the reason he misbehaves is because her in laws don’t believe in scolding children when they misbehave and my sister becomes the bad cop. My mom has a similar attitude. Therefore he thinks he can mistreat them when his mother is away.
That sounds really challenging. Kids naturally want to please, so I’m sure he’s hurting at times in addition to you guys. Please don’t be afraid to reach out for help. He’s at a great age for PCIT (parent child interaction therapy). I’ve had a lot of families who have been in a similar situation benefit from this. Dr. Aly
My sons main symptoms are anger, along with blaning others. He never takes responsibility for things its always someone elses fault. When i try to talk to him i dont feel like he hears me when having conversations about his behavior. Ive tried all kinds of approaches with him, from angry and stern, to positive and nice. Nothing seems to work. Now im desperatelu trying to get therapy for him but the wait times to get into a therapist are so long. 😢
Why is it with not a sibling. My younger brother has beaten me with hangers and other things thrown things at me. He’s also swung knives in my face. It’s always been the worst with me but now it’s at other places. So I guess why does it not count for a sibling?
Can you do one for a child who loses a parent to death/suicide ? I think he’s always had ODD but it seemed to get worse when his dad died when he was 6. He’s now almost 8 and he’s driving me insane
Hi Samantha- thanks so much for taking the time to check out this video! I apologize for how long it has taken me to get back to you. I had a baby at the end of August and I'm trying to get caught back up! I'm sorry to hear about your loss. The effect that losing a parent can have on a child can be profound and it is very common to see worsening behaviors in children. I often batch film my videos. I'll make sure to add this topic to my list, as there are many children who have unfortunately had similar experiences. If you found this information to be valuable, please don't forget to SUBSCRIBE as more videos are being released weekly. Keep being super mom! I know it can be challenging at times. Dr. Aly
If you keep starting over you're not quitting. You're winning. You're eliminating things that don't work. You can't beat someone who refuses to quit. That is a fact. I know it's hard. 2 of my 4 kids have ODD. It is a challenge. The only time we fail, is when we fail to try. Remember that. It's ok to regroup and look again. It's ok to rest from trying to be a supermom or dad. Hang in there. This is going to be the greatest challenge of our lives. Our kids are absolutely worth the battle. Keep on trying new ways. Don't stop. You got this!
Please don’t judge my 3 year old has meltdowns badly for no reason she argues a lot I don’t aruge back as it’s no point arguing with a child it’s pointless, she has spat on the floor she even said herself she doesn’t like listening to rules and finds it fun to break them she doesn’t sleep she’s never slept she doesn’t like getting ready I am so exhausted and constantly tired but my eldest she was so good when she was 3 she done everything that a normal 3 year old did I know that im on the spectrum of autism/adhd too
PCIT is a great therapy option for kids this age with ODD-related behavior. It’s also more effective for correcting behaviors than medication. I’d consider checking in with your doctor and seeing if that’s available in your area.
My son acts like this and quick outburst a few years and we're no not right now or hey let's do this tomorrow. Or if he doesn't get what he wants or what he request saying that that's what he wants as if it's automatically going to happen. But he acts like this at home and at the stores or when we're out and about towards me. Just recently we came and visited family and it sucks but thankfully his Nana was able to kind of see for herself, not that she disbelieved what I explained to her, and really backed me up. Everybody kept saying oh he just says that at home your mom you know he's going to do that more at home. He doesn't just do it at home he doesn't at the stores on the walk to the bus stop. Someone else will explain to him hey you got to listen to Mom and he'll brush it off. He won't be as impressive but I'll just brush it off. I've been seeing this behavior blow up in the last year. But he's had huge outburst at certain points of the year (around late fall early winter. Which is the time that his dad was removed from our home) This is so frustrating and so just heartbreaking. I've got my own mental setbacks with anger and depression and anxiety. I couldn't address my own mental health living with his dad and now I feel like I'm in the same type of relationship with my child
There is not an age associated with the diagnosis of ODD. This is true for many psychiatric diagnoses because the diagnosis needs to be met WITHOUT a better diagnosis explaining the symptoms/behaviors AND can not be explained by normal developmental milestones and expectations. For example my 3 year old has tantrums frequently that manifest in many ways with a multitude of behaviors. However, this is expected for this age and behavioral milestones. Do you have a more specific age or example that I could talk to?
When I was around 3 or 5 I was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD, I used to get SO angry that I would hit my head against the wall for hours. I would throw tantrums for hours on end if I didn’t get what I wanted, so I got on medicine. My medicine turned me into a zombie, I wasn’t me, so my grandfather took me off of it without letting my parents or doctor know. I still have problems with anger. I am now diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and PTSD. I still have horrible anger issues to the point where I punched a hole in my wall. My childhood wasn’t the best, I was being abused and yelled at constantly. I’m now on medicine. I have a pill for anxiety, depression, anti psychotics, and medicine for my PTSD.
Thank you for taking the time to watch this video and for sharing your experience. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles throughout childhood. Navigating the mental health system can be especially challenging. It sounds like you are trying to take a proactive approach in your care currently and I wish you nothing but the best in your journey! If you have any topics you'd like to hear more about, please let me know. Also, don't forget to SUBSCRIBE if you haven't done so already. More videos to come every week! Dr. Aly
There’s alot of BS associated with this diagnosis. Specifically, what is the parental relationship like and what is the environment like in the household with regards to the parental rules? I was diagnosed with this garbage when I was about 10 years old. One thing that was never associated with this behavior was the fact that my parents were religious nut bags who imposed absolute authoritarianism around the house. No cussing, no non religious film and television, never talked to about sex, forced to go to church, beaten with a belt for even talking back. If a kid has shitty parents like this, they will be emotionally neglected and denied any answers to their curious minds about the world around them. Of course a kid like me was opposing authority. It was being forced upon me. Later in life I became estranged from my parents as soon as I turned 18. Went on to join the military to escape, and then on to college where I took got a degree in philosophy. Eventually taking a Mensa test and found that I had a an IQ that was higher than the average, which meant that even at a young age I simply had a natural curiosity about things around me that was superseded by my parents absurd religious rules. Of course I was I was defiantly oppositional! Even at a young age I felt I was smarter than the culty nut bags who were raising me! It’s not narcissism or a behavioral disorder if you are purposely being held back from expressing your frustrations within a community that suffers from collective delusions and ignorance. if you realize your own parents are delusional even as an adolescent. My advice would be look at your parenting style first before you have some “psychotherapist” imposing some pseudoscience on you and trying to medicate your kids. This is the very type of therapeutic intervention that’s is leading to an over diagnosis of ADHD and stimulation abuse that’s rampart throughout the country right now. Talk to your kids folks. Get on their level. And get over your own ego trip for control over them first.
I’ve thought about it. There are a lot of anti-psychiatry people out there. It’s a fine line that I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate. People can insult me and this channel all they want. I know the value I’m trying to bring to people and while some comments are hurtful, I’m willing to experience that if my videos help just one person. However, if you are seeing others in our community being insulted, please let me know. That WILL NOT be tolerated. This is a safe space and I will have no hesitancy in blocking those types of people from this channel. Dr. Aly
Mines is rude she shelfish ,she just stold my neighbor phone and literally doesn't care ive called the cops nd they said they cant do a missing report because she texting back they know she done this 3 times in the last 3 months plus she was sexually abused by her dada mother she doesn't respect boundaries and she's very argumentative when she gets bored she likes to purposely get people in trouble like trying to get them mad so they could argue back with her and then she tries to make it seem like it was the other person who started she like so was played the victim she is sexually active she's been sexually molested since she was 2 years old by her grandmother to Philadelphia Police department has not helped me they always just disregard anything that I say I've shown them proof that my daughter has mental disability and they just don't care Philadelphia police department don't care nd not helping me to find her when she has a history of going to her grandma
That is absolutely correct. Anyone involved in the child’s life can be affected- parents, siblings, extended family members, coaches, teachers, etc. I’m not sure how the role of fathers was diminished in this video, as the focus was on diagnosing ODD and struggles a child goes through.
My son was diagnosed late, aged 9 with adhd and ODD. He was extremely challenging child, we had alot of support gor myself and my son. I wouldn't take anything personal when my son would say he hayed me and wish i was dead, my response was, i love you and i always will its just your behaviour i don't like. He attended many secondary schools. He really didn't like school. Hes now 23 years old and we are extremely close, our love has grown now he's an adult, he has his own home has a job. We are so proud of him. Hes setting a good example to his younger brother who also has ADHD. Just got to take one day at a time. Deep breaths and pick your battles, good luck.
Thank you for sharing! This gives me hope. 🙏🏽
That's exactly what i'm going thru with my 7yr old i feel like I can't handle it no more
My daughter was recently diagnosed. She does not argue. She's very quiet. She seemingly has a sweet disposition. But she steals, sneaks, lies, acts out vindictively but quietly. She will peel wallpaper because she's angry but no one knows She's angry until we find something she's done. Your kid can have it and not being cussing you out, arguing, or throwing fits.
This describes my son exactly! Then he will say he did it because nobody was watching him.🙄
It’s incredibly difficult to raise a child with ODD. In fact it’s heartbreaking & at times it’s difficult not to feel that your child hates you.
This is SO true! So many parents have expressed similar struggles to me. Keep hanging in there!!!
Dr. Aly
Please read “The Explosive Child” this has changed my sons and my families life.
This fits my 3 yr old so very well! He does this only at home and only when mom is the only adult present. He’s a perfect child for everyone else though. It’s to the point I’m getting so frustrated with him that I have to isolate myself to avoid yelling or having to discipline him somehow since nothing seems to work anyway. I have to calm myself at times just so I can calm him and if I try to explain things to him, he doesn’t even hear me. He does but he will still go straight back to doing the same thing! We’re gonna be seeking counseling to have him diagnosed. It’s seriously effecting my life and my other children negativity at this point and it makes a very miserable environment. But since he only acts out at home and around mom, ppl seem to be quick to judge that I have to be more stern and harder on him and constantly reminding him to listen or to stop doing what I just asked him not to?! I’m seriously struggling with this child and it’s killing me! I don’t know what to do anymore.
This is exactly my 6yr old!
My 3 year old son to a T...I'm struggling 😪
@@TheBlackPearl1234Read my comment above...
Mine is 3 and I believe she has this disorder she's extremely violent with the intent to hurt when upset, she breaks things on purpose if she doesn't get her way yells screams kicks bites all sorts of stuff. I do timeouts and then love her up once she's receptive enough to say sorry then I explain the situation. If I catch the meltdown before it gets too bad I can di the calm down corner where we have posters that show you how to calm down, affirmations, breathing techniques, and sensory toys that make learning these things more fun. I feel I am shooting in the dark and need help everyone tells me the same thing it's normal she will grow out of it don't spoil her spank her whatever and that's wrong UPDATE - she ripped all the calm down posters and pictue frames off the walls!! So much for that idea. At least i had enough sense to put Plexiglas in the frames (lol im not stupid enough to have glass in her room). Learned that the hard way once or twice. The worst was the snowglobe, ever have to clean up a smashed snowglobe lemma tell ya that's a fun time! It didn't have the music or a button that made it light up it was a plain old school one and she snapped shrieked and smashed it.
So sorry for you all ❤ hope things improve it must be very difficult xx
I’m 14 years old and I think I might be oppositional. I break rules for fun with my friends, I argue frequently with my parents, I’m super touchy, irritable and easily annoyed, I have spiteful and vindictive thoughts, and I also tend to blame others for my mistakes and behaviors. I do have a diagnosis of ADHD which is highly cormobid with ODD so I might have it. I’m gonna ask my therapist.
@Bbb J I’ve changed a lot since I wrote this comment. Now I am an honors student, I do running as a sport, and I try super hard to be kind to everyone. My parents say my behavior is a lot better too and I’m fun to be around. I also try hard not to break rules.
@@goofball2228 Well done! What changed things for you?
@@louisegarner8888 well I kinda realized one day that I didn’t like who I became. I was hurting myself and everyone around me, and it just didn’t feel good anymore.
@@goofball2228 Thanks for your reply, it makes good sense. It's usually because noone is really listening that we tend to act out. Dr Ross Greene is worth looking up, he has a really good approach to seeing ODD in terms of valuing connection and communication in relationships. Most people don't figure it out so young, be proud of all you've overcome and achieved, you're passing it on to others just by rolemodelling doing what's right for the right reasons! 🏆🎉👏💞😊
@@goofball2228Did your parents act as if they'd do anything just so you would like them?
My ODD son is now 45 years old. Despite years of therapy in childhood, (both individual and family), meetings with teachers, and social workers visiting our home, we never could get his behavior within any reasonable range. Sometimes, his behavior was dangerous, and necessitated my calling the police. As an adult, he is not lazy, but loses jobs because of fights with bosses and supervisors. If he comes to visit, i ask him to call first, but he almost always shows up unannounced, and he tries to "take charge" the minute he walks in the door. He then proceeds to break the 3 rules i impose, (such as not showing up drunk, or drinking alcohol in my house. He pulls a bottle out of his pocket, locks eyes with me, and takes a swig). I have had to tell him that he is no longer welcome in my home, for now.
Thank you for pointing out that they might not behave badly in all situations and settings. As a child, my son was terribly oppositional, defiant, unruly, and sometimes violent at home and at school. He was also often problematic socially, or at the store.
My parents would sometimes take him for a week, in the Summer, to their home out of state. At the end of the week, I would invariably hear, "We can't believe that he's as bad as you say. We didn't have ANY of that here. He was a perfect little angel, all week. We took him out to a restaurant, and he was the perfect, well-mannered little gentleman. He makes a good impression. What is it that you do to make him behave that way???"
And although he would regularly be oppositional, uncooperative, and rude, acting out at the therapists office, (the therapist even once had to physically restrain him), our therapist once told me that his receptionist was completely enamored of my son. I could see on her face, every time we walked into the office, ("awww ...he's so cute!"). He said that she had told him that my son was the most polite, well-behaved child she had ever seen in her life!
Oh my.😮
The most frustrating part is when the child can control his temper everywhere but the home. It's been a battle for a couple of years although he has always been defiant from a very younge age. I have tried therapy, now hes at an age they say I cant force him to go. (12) so I'm stuck. Being a single parent doesnt help whatsoever. I have been putting off meds for years, I think I'm at the point of trying it before I get fed up and send him to the other parent who has been MIA for years honestly so i cant imagine it would help. I am just exhausted of the daily issues I have, being bullied by child. I grew up where we got hit if we disrespected our elders. I've tried different strategies but what the therapist do not understand its hard to implement any consequences when they completely disrespect all rules in the home. 😔
It used to be like that for my now 9 year old. But once he gets comfortable in school say 30 days in the new school/classroom his behaviors start showing
Thank you for sharing this- if there's anything along the way that has been helpful, please share! I'm sure others could learn more from your experiences.
Dr. Aly
@@dcartagena6428 yes my son is 8 and he is like that as well, at the beginning he is an "angel" but the more comfortable he gets the more phone calls I start receiving. 🙄
You should read, Never be Bullied Again by Sam horn. Peace ✌.And ADHD tool box with Jim West(video on UA-cam), some ODD suggestions.
My niece has a 5 year old son with ODD. They were at my house for Christmas festivities and dinner and he misbehaved so badly they had to leave. He destroyed my umbrella and jumped on the bed and was about to pull down the ceiling fan and mini blinds. He was at my house for hours and had to be held down several times from trying to hurt others. He is on medication and seeing a therapist. He is in Kindergarden and has already been suspended several times and has head butted and bitten his teacher. My niece does not go anywhere because of her son and even has her groceries delivered. I imagine he will be in jail one day because of his behavior.
how horrifying! and sad for the parents😢
They should change his diet
My 6 and 13 yo are both ODD and ADHD. I think I have ptsd from them lol 😂
Wow! You are a trooper! Hang in there mama 🤣
U did it to your self and why do women need a pat on the back for being a mother
@@JayC3492 lol who pissed your Cheerios? Being a mom is easy. Being a mom to kids with behavioral disabilities is completely different. Have you ever had to parent a teenage sociopath? Or are you one? 😂
@Jay C As mentioned in my “About” section- this channel is made for those who want to be part of a community where meaningful connections are made and concerns are validated.
Blaming, judging, criticizing, and shaming are not part of that in any way, shape, or form. If that’s what you are looking for, this is not the place for you.
@@JayC3492 why are u even watching these videos just to talk crap? Lol get out of here and go do something useful instead of talking 💩! Nobody asked for your worthless opinion
My son is 6 years old and has ODD bad. I am absolutely going through the worst time right now. I have no idea how to fix this and i’m worried he’ll get expelled from school.
Thank you for taking the time to check out this video!
I'm sorry to hear that you and your family are having a difficult time right now. Given that it sounds like symptoms have been impairing day-to-day functioning, I'd suggest talking to your pediatrician and seeing if they can refer you to either a local therapist or a child psychiatrist for further evaluation and treatment.
At that age, PCIT (parent child interaction therapy) is often something I suggest to families I work with. Here's a list of some providers based on various locations: pcit.lab.uiowa.edu/parent-child-interaction-therapy-providers
If you found this information to be valuable, please don't forget to SUBSCRIBE as more videos are being released weekly. Also, if you have any topic suggestions for future videos, let me know!
Best of luck!
Dr. Aly
My daughter is the same and I am struggling so much right now.. I've been crying non stop over it I need help
How are you doing now? I am in the same situation :(
Starts at 2:01
My 4 year old nephew is acting up a lot recently. His new thing is licking people, spitting on his toys, on the ground, in his food or drinks, and spitting at people when he’s upset. He’s also recently began slapping and punching both his grandmas. Both of them cry because they know he’s frustrated and don’t know how to help him. My sister gets so stressed out when she has to go out because she knows he’ll act up. Last week, my mom and I babysat him. He began running around the house and was quite happy but as the day went on he became more irritated and annoyed. He punched my mom in the stomach and I sat him down and talked to him. He seemingly felt bad and apologized. Then a few minutes later he threw a shovel at her. I talked to him firmly and he began crying. I felt bad but I know he needs some structure. I think the reason he misbehaves is because her in laws don’t believe in scolding children when they misbehave and my sister becomes the bad cop. My mom has a similar attitude. Therefore he thinks he can mistreat them when his mother is away.
That sounds really challenging. Kids naturally want to please, so I’m sure he’s hurting at times in addition to you guys. Please don’t be afraid to reach out for help. He’s at a great age for PCIT (parent child interaction therapy). I’ve had a lot of families who have been in a similar situation benefit from this.
Dr. Aly
My sons main symptoms are anger, along with blaning others. He never takes responsibility for things its always someone elses fault. When i try to talk to him i dont feel like he hears me when having conversations about his behavior. Ive tried all kinds of approaches with him, from angry and stern, to positive and nice. Nothing seems to work. Now im desperatelu trying to get therapy for him but the wait times to get into a therapist are so long. 😢
Your video has helped me to start understanding my Grandson's behavior. But please STOP THE BACKGROUND MUSIC!!!!! IT'S BEYOND ANNOYING!
Is ODD often in comorbidity with ADHD?
Why is it with not a sibling. My younger brother has beaten me with hangers and other things thrown things at me. He’s also swung knives in my face. It’s always been the worst with me but now it’s at other places. So I guess why does it not count for a sibling?
My 5 year old is like this. He used to only misbehave at home, then it was home and at his grandmothers, now it’s literally everywhere.
So hard at times! Keep hanging in there mama and don’t forget to reach out for help if needed.
Dr. Aly
Can you do one for a child who loses a parent to death/suicide ? I think he’s always had ODD but it seemed to get worse when his dad died when he was 6. He’s now almost 8 and he’s driving me insane
Hi Samantha- thanks so much for taking the time to check out this video! I apologize for how long it has taken me to get back to you. I had a baby at the end of August and I'm trying to get caught back up!
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. The effect that losing a parent can have on a child can be profound and it is very common to see worsening behaviors in children. I often batch film my videos. I'll make sure to add this topic to my list, as there are many children who have unfortunately had similar experiences.
If you found this information to be valuable, please don't forget to SUBSCRIBE as more videos are being released weekly.
Keep being super mom! I know it can be challenging at times.
Dr. Aly
My child has serious ODD. It's been hard. I have given up and started from scratch a hundred times
Keep hanging in there! ❤️
If you keep starting over you're not quitting. You're winning. You're eliminating things that don't work. You can't beat someone who refuses to quit. That is a fact. I know it's hard. 2 of my 4 kids have ODD. It is a challenge. The only time we fail, is when we fail to try. Remember that. It's ok to regroup and look again. It's ok to rest from trying to be a supermom or dad. Hang in there. This is going to be the greatest challenge of our lives. Our kids are absolutely worth the battle. Keep on trying new ways. Don't stop. You got this!
Please don’t judge my 3 year old has meltdowns badly for no reason she argues a lot I don’t aruge back as it’s no point arguing with a child it’s pointless, she has spat on the floor she even said herself she doesn’t like listening to rules and finds it fun to break them she doesn’t sleep she’s never slept she doesn’t like getting ready I am so exhausted and constantly tired but my eldest she was so good when she was 3 she done everything that a normal 3 year old did I know that im on the spectrum of autism/adhd too
Why does the behavior have to be with someone who is not a sibling??????
My daughter has had ODD since she was 15 months and is now 17 and in prison for the next 20 years for something she did at 14.
I'm so sorry.
Hello i have a 6 year old daughter with odd and the docter said that she is to young for medication i dont know what to do😢😢😢
PCIT is a great therapy option for kids this age with ODD-related behavior. It’s also more effective for correcting behaviors than medication. I’d consider checking in with your doctor and seeing if that’s available in your area.
My son acts like this and quick outburst a few years and we're no not right now or hey let's do this tomorrow. Or if he doesn't get what he wants or what he request saying that that's what he wants as if it's automatically going to happen. But he acts like this at home and at the stores or when we're out and about towards me. Just recently we came and visited family and it sucks but thankfully his Nana was able to kind of see for herself, not that she disbelieved what I explained to her, and really backed me up. Everybody kept saying oh he just says that at home your mom you know he's going to do that more at home. He doesn't just do it at home he doesn't at the stores on the walk to the bus stop. Someone else will explain to him hey you got to listen to Mom and he'll brush it off. He won't be as impressive but I'll just brush it off. I've been seeing this behavior blow up in the last year. But he's had huge outburst at certain points of the year (around late fall early winter. Which is the time that his dad was removed from our home)
This is so frustrating and so just heartbreaking. I've got my own mental setbacks with anger and depression and anxiety. I couldn't address my own mental health living with his dad and now I feel like I'm in the same type of relationship with my child
What is the earliest age this disorder can be diagnosed in a child?
There is not an age associated with the diagnosis of ODD. This is true for many psychiatric diagnoses because the diagnosis needs to be met WITHOUT a better diagnosis explaining the symptoms/behaviors AND can not be explained by normal developmental milestones and expectations. For example my 3 year old has tantrums frequently that manifest in many ways with a multitude of behaviors. However, this is expected for this age and behavioral milestones. Do you have a more specific age or example that I could talk to?
When I was around 3 or 5 I was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD, I used to get SO angry that I would hit my head against the wall for hours. I would throw tantrums for hours on end if I didn’t get what I wanted, so I got on medicine. My medicine turned me into a zombie, I wasn’t me, so my grandfather took me off of it without letting my parents or doctor know. I still have problems with anger. I am now diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and PTSD. I still have horrible anger issues to the point where I punched a hole in my wall. My childhood wasn’t the best, I was being abused and yelled at constantly. I’m now on medicine. I have a pill for anxiety, depression, anti psychotics, and medicine for my PTSD.
Thank you for taking the time to watch this video and for sharing your experience. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles throughout childhood. Navigating the mental health system can be especially challenging. It sounds like you are trying to take a proactive approach in your care currently and I wish you nothing but the best in your journey!
If you have any topics you'd like to hear more about, please let me know. Also, don't forget to SUBSCRIBE if you haven't done so already. More videos to come every week!
Dr. Aly
There’s alot of BS associated with this diagnosis. Specifically, what is the parental relationship like and what is the environment like in the household with regards to the parental rules? I was diagnosed with this garbage when I was about 10 years old. One thing that was never associated with this behavior was the fact that my parents were religious nut bags who imposed absolute authoritarianism around the house. No cussing, no non religious film and television, never talked to about sex, forced to go to church, beaten with a belt for even talking back. If a kid has shitty parents like this, they will be emotionally neglected and denied any answers to their curious minds about the world around them. Of course a kid like me was opposing authority. It was being forced upon me. Later in life I became estranged from my parents as soon as I turned 18. Went on to join the military to escape, and then on to college where I took got a degree in philosophy. Eventually taking a Mensa test and found that I had a an IQ that was higher than the average, which meant that even at a young age I simply had a natural curiosity about things around me that was superseded by my parents absurd religious rules. Of course I was I was defiantly oppositional! Even at a young age I felt I was smarter than the culty nut bags who were raising me! It’s not narcissism or a behavioral disorder if you are purposely being held back from expressing your frustrations within a community that suffers from collective delusions and ignorance. if you realize your own parents are delusional even as an adolescent. My advice would be look at your parenting style first before you have some “psychotherapist” imposing some pseudoscience on you and trying to medicate your kids. This is the very type of therapeutic intervention that’s is leading to an over diagnosis of ADHD and stimulation abuse that’s rampart throughout the country right now. Talk to your kids folks. Get on their level. And get over your own ego trip for control over them first.
My 11 yr old is like this. My hair is falling out😭
I hear so many parents with the same concerns. Keep hanging in there and don’t be afraid to reach out for help if needed.
Dr. Aly
Might I suggest deleting the negative comments? They’re a plague to this helpful page.
I’ve thought about it. There are a lot of anti-psychiatry people out there. It’s a fine line that I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate.
People can insult me and this channel all they want. I know the value I’m trying to bring to people and while some comments are hurtful, I’m willing to experience that if my videos help just one person.
However, if you are seeing others in our community being insulted, please let me know. That WILL NOT be tolerated. This is a safe space and I will have no hesitancy in blocking those types of people from this channel.
Dr. Aly
I wish this video was not accompanied by that silly music soundtrack.
And these are also early signs of personality disorder, such as psychopathy
Good video but take breaths
Kid's with this disorder are so damn annoying
Mines is rude she shelfish ,she just stold my neighbor phone and literally doesn't care ive called the cops nd they said they cant do a missing report because she texting back they know she done this 3 times in the last 3 months plus she was sexually abused by her dada mother she doesn't respect boundaries and she's very argumentative when she gets bored she likes to purposely get people in trouble like trying to get them mad so they could argue back with her and then she tries to make it seem like it was the other person who started she like so was played the victim she is sexually active she's been sexually molested since she was 2 years old by her grandmother to Philadelphia Police department has not helped me they always just disregard anything that I say I've shown them proof that my daughter has mental disability and they just don't care Philadelphia police department don't care nd not helping me to find her when she has a history of going to her grandma
Dads to can break down crying even step dads. Please don’t diminish the role of fathers
That is absolutely correct. Anyone involved in the child’s life can be affected- parents, siblings, extended family members, coaches, teachers, etc. I’m not sure how the role of fathers was diminished in this video, as the focus was on diagnosing ODD and struggles a child goes through.
Sounds like a narcissism
I have a narcissism video in the works- stay tuned!
You sound ignorant...
It doesn't sound anything like narcissism AT ALL. Somebody needs to do some reading, and get a clue.
As though ODD doesn't impact the fathers...
Sorry but I had to stop watching your video because of the way you talk!