My eldest son is currently facing this issue, but he is getting better now. I started noticing him having ODD symptoms early 2022. He did a lot of things in school which had annoyed friends, teachers and principle. And other parents started to complaint due to his behaviour towards their kids. He never listen, loves to argue, , he always want to win, always annoys others, easily annoyed by others and environment, frequent temper tantrums, and many more. He hated school, teachers, friends, everything about school. And everyday was a nightmare , waking him up for school was a real struggle, never without tears.😢 School asked me to take him for therapy after series of events involving him with other kids, teachers, unable to listen to orders and giving disturbance during classes. I was lost, kept asking why this thing happens, and what went wrong. Until there was this incident where he had caused injury to one of his teacher. And when the teacher asked him to say sorry, he kept himself silent. And when the teacher calmly said, "If you love your mother, then ask for forgiveness" . Nothing happened. He acted like nothing happened and I was shocked since it happened right before my eyes. Didn't he love me?? That seemed like a red signal to me. At home later that day, I asked him whether he loves me, and he said NO😭😭😭 with the look in the eyes full of revenge and hatred.😭 I prayed to Allah to show me the solution in Dec 2022 last year during my pilgrimage to Mekah. After listening to Dr's recommendations , sharings and comments from social medias, I changed my way of advising him. No more hanger, no more rattan, no more raising voice to him, always hug him, listen to him and makes him feel important. Always ask how was his day at school, etc. On April 2023, his school teacher informed me that they were shocked to see his changes. And of course I feel embarrassed, realizing that I was the one whom triggers this from the very beginning.😢 it wasn't his fault. It was me😢 Now I understand things slowly happened when I started having another baby and he felt neglected. He used to take all the blame even it was his younger brother's misbehaviour and I changed this behaviour as well. No more bias, be it you are older or younger. Has to be fair among sibling. I'm happy now that he sincerely confesses to me that he loves the new me and when I asked him why he recently behaved in school, he answered " I behave because I love you". He hugged me closely. I cried that day the moment I saw him as if I was looking an innocent baby whom I had 8 years ago. My bad, sayang. I am so sorry... 😔 In conclusion, violence never a solution to any misbehaviour/misconduct. Treat our children with love and respect. I have learnt the hard way. I hope others may give it a try too.
My bad parenting skills were.. 1. Using rattan, hanger like the old timers.😢 2. Silent treatment -ignoring him for his misbehaviour (sometimes it may take 2/3days)😢. 2nd child syndrome maybe. Avoiding quarrel by keeping silence. 3. Never spend quality time with my kid. 4. Always blame him even though it was his younger brother's fault. 5. Raising my voice when I lose my patient. 6. Lack of affection with kid. May Allah eases everything for us, insyaAllah.
Im so glad for you and your child. Kids with odd needs to feel loved and be understood. My kid with his odd suffer most himself, everything is so hard/difficult for him and his emotions are so big/intense. He doesnt do it because he wants to be bad. He has his intrests and everything that isnt in his intrest/agenda are extremly hard/difficult for him. My son has severe adhd and a 2 out of 1-3 on a scale of odd. 1 is light and 3 is severe. He has this behavior regardless of who he meets, not only just at home, or school also at doctors or everyone that put a pressure on him. But he is also very loving, energetic, playfull and full of humor. He deserves people seeing the best in him because he himself think so bad of himself. So does your son. Make sure he believes in you loving him regardless of his behavior. You see through this behavior, it is not him hating on you, its his own struggle within himself that comes out. Take him out just you and him to breakfast or dinner. Make he believe in his own value, he is important and a highly important ingredient to your own mix of 👪.
@@lindayusof2107my husband does #4. It drives me nits and makes my job of parenting this difficult child even harder. Husband gets to take off for work and leave me with the problem.
This is what no one is willing to say out loud. As a parent of an ODD teen, my family has been held prisoner for the past 14 1/2 years and we are counting down to age 18 when our cell door will be opened and we will be set free. How sad and heartbreaking 💔 to feel that way. We should be talking about prom and graduation but instead we are talking about hiding the car keys and long term placement. 😞 There is no help, no advice, no therapy, doctor's, meds, NOTHING that actually helps. Meds might tone down the screaming but the behaviors don't actually stop. There is no punishment, consequence or anything. You just have to survive until they are 18.
@@rockstarofredondo emancipation for someone who cannot help themselves is not something that I would do. I love her too much and she can't take care of herself. At 18 we will no longer be legally responsible for the things she does and that alone is a weight lifted. She says she will leave at 18 and I can't do anything about it if she does. She will have life knocking her around and hopefully that will help her stop her behaviors, if not, all I can do is pray for her. 🙏
@@loriparsley1914 Nope not with ours. She is my cousin, we adopted. She can go live with bio mom or the many brothers and sisters she has from bio dad. Called the cops on Saturday, Sunday she ran off 3 times, Monday she snuck out at 2 am, last night she took off and I just found her at a friend's house. At 18 and bye bye girl!
For every family that goes through these struggles, you are not alone. I am not an expert at all, but have friends that are. My 6 yr olds behaviour can escalate in a blink of an eye and it can be crushing to the soul, especially when you have spent their lives trying to find a solution. All I can say is the gut has alot to do with emotions and behaviours and if you can try, thats a start... Its not for everyone and I know food also can be expensive... Just putting it out their. My firend has an autistic son who would have severe meltdowns everyday. Her friend in Australia recommended the GAPS book which is eliminating dairy/gluten. She was at the end of the line and tried. Its been 6 months and not one meltdown... I am going to do this for pur whole family. We are huge gluten/dairy eaters and it will be hard, but if we can limit the meltdowns and have a healthier family... Im willing to try anything.
I have ocd and odd and its a really bad combo let me tell you that much. One time when I was around 10 I wanted to tell my parents to wake up and my sister just knocked on the door instead of letting me tell my parents to wake up and when she went to get changed after (i didn't know she was getting changed) I was so angry at what she did that I pulled on the door handle to her room so hard the door unlocked from being locked and my sister was half-naked (I looked away as soon as I realized and don't remember seeing her thankfully) I felt so bad afterwards and all the anger when I look back turns into shame and embarrassment. ODD is the worst because you just annoy everyone around you all the time and no one enjoys being around you or wants to be your friend. At least people with most other disorders get a chance at not being hated by everyone in their whole grade or even their whole school and have a chance at making decent friends that don't get them in trouble like mine did and then eventually find you annoying as they get older. And then to think this is all your fault and the people you met aren't mean or anything like that, it's all you that's been the problem, its all too much to handle sometimes which is probably why people with ODD are at high risk for developing depression and anxiety, the worst disorder ever.
I have the same combo, man. All I have to say is: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYW HWY WHYHWYHIEQGUFHXODEHDVGUDXHV UODSHFOS. Thank you for your time. It sucks so much. Holly molly golly gee. I'm so thankful for my friends, they stick with me through everything. I don't know who I would be without them
I enraged my teacher so bad when I was 7 that he called my mother and screamed at her. He was not an angry, rude person. I just pushed him to that by being in his classroom. I fought with authority figures or flat out disregarded them constantly. I couldn't be forced to do anything. I was a nightmare for my family. I still have issues but self reflection has been helpful over the years. And I now have great relationships with my siblings who I used to piss off royally. I use my ODD stubbornness to be dependable and loyal instead of blindly fighting about things. It has helped.
I’m trying to understand my son as this sounds just like him. Was there a reason why things made you mad or why authority was so hard to deal with? Have you noticed patterns of things that are difficult for you? Any advice to parents? I’m all ears!
@@lauren8407I think their issue is control. They want to feel like they have control and power but as you can understand, children cannot be given power over very much because that’s dangerous. It makes it seem like they should outgrow this urge but I’m not so sure that actually happens very much.
Most days I'm physically kicked and punched and bite the whole way to school and when I warn her I'll be telling the teacher she will go up to the teachers shouting she's been hit by me . Same in shops if she's not getting the exact amount of money she she scratch my arms whilst screaming she's getting attacked untill I give in . It is awful . Every hour of the day is a mental battle
My son is 7 and I have been working on helping him get through these destructive behaviors. A few weeks ago his teacher and school had a major problem. He got kicked out of daycare for his anger and he hurt another student. I had to get the paddle out. And you may not want to face the fact but it only took two times of him getting the paddle and he hasn’t been any trouble at school. I think he is growing out of his ODD🤞🏼Thank you for your videos!
You cant beat good behavior in to a kid. You need to be a good example for your kid. You take the paddle out shows him its ok to hit another person. Thats really disturbing!
Thank you so much for this information. Ive been at home waiting for a call from school for them to ask me to come pick up my 5 yr old, because he is having a meltdown and wont calm down and disrupts the class learning. I have been having anxiety over this since he started pre- k last year, and now he is kinder and here we are again... Everyday for me is waiting and wondering will they call me today and tell me he is having a bad day and to come pick him up. At times i feel like crying, and im just stressed and anxious the whole time.
One of the most disruptive behaviours of mine that makes me become oppositionally defiant towards certain people is when I feel like those certain people are trying to control who I am as a person like I can't do things independently and when people don't let me do things independently or ask me to stay with them even when I promise them that nothing bad is going to happen to me then that's when I start becoming Oppositionally Defiant and that's the biggest problem with my ODD is I won't be Oppositional towards people who are always friendly to me and don't make me feel like their controlling who I am or what I decide to do for myself and others but I will be Oppositional towards people who always complain, argue and cause a fight with me when I do something wrong even when the things I do wrong rarely happen and with that been said I can easily fake my love towards people and completely abandon them later on in my life if they always complain, argue and cause fights with me over everything I do wrong even if the things I do wrong rarely happen or are accidental like the things I do at work where every once in a while a Customer will walk straight in front of me on purpose while I'm pushing and pulling trolley's just so I can accidentally hit them well when people complain, argue and cause fights with me and blame me for that type of stuff after they find out about those things I start becoming uncomfortable with those people and fake my love towards them and abandon them without them knowing and I do it by lying to them when they ask me if I love them or not by saying yes I do when I actually don't and later on in my life in about 5 years from now I'm going to completely leave those people's lives forever and not go over to see them ever again regardless if they want me to come over and see them or not.
Have the professionals ever thought that ODD and Conduct Disorder are no different than Antisocial Personality Disorder. Could it be that the kids have actual Antisocial Personality Disorder but they start out in “less serious” ways simply because they haven’t yet developed more complex ways of hurting people? It’s unfortunate that this video suggests that parents are unable to judge intentionality. These parents get their sole ripped out daily by their child’s behaviours on an almost daily basis, they live with this hell and are the best judge of intentionality.
After 18 it's ASD. It doesn't get better, I'm sorry they can't be helped after the brain is fully developed around 25. They are criminals if they don't grow out of it.
Exactly. I always take a look at if this is the illness talking it out is it her? You never want to punish the illness. And you always have to pick your battles.
@@TheMentalBreakdown Can you post an affiliate link for a paid course with result based strategies on how to deal with adults that have ODD (in the workplace, in the community, military training, etc.)? You can upmark it as much as you want as long as it gives fast results/instructions. I, and most other people, am not their parent to ruminate over this ad nauseam. Thank you.
Both of my kids have been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and like one Dr told me .I can use all the parenting tools 🔧 in the world but unless they are on the right medication those tools are not going to work. HE WAS RIGHT! With meds my kids are responding to the parenting tools alot better
You are abusing them by giving them brain-destroying drugs. Try a tablet for yourself. All the parenting tools work - you will just not use them. Put them on stale bread+ milk diet whild other family members eat all nice meals. Take their gadgets permanently away.
@@svetavinogradova4243 your opinion matters very little to me. Not getting them help was abusing them .it's helping and they feel Beyer too. You are a cheap internet bully who thinks by telling me I'm abusing my kids is going to effect me in some small way but I pitty you. No respect and such negative energy who have to tear others down to in some small way feel like they gained some power.
@@Hs-tu2sl A standard response by a standard child abuser. I have no doubt that you have been ignoring all reasonable advice You ruin your kids' future with passion. They are in your hands, nobody will save them. What you consider "help" is a chemical destruction in fact, with a purposecof protection the society from your dirty animals. The real help would have been strict discipline since early childhood and a scout-like everyday timetable at home.
@@Hs-tu2sl The society deals with the products of copulation between underclass members on benefits - by ensuring chemical infertility of their offspring. Well, reasonable.
Every single morning I have the same issues getting my son to dress himself for school. He doesn't have the violent outburst with anyone else but me his mom. Others he will be defiant but every time he is told no or stop doing something and focus on what needs to be finished he becomes violent and yelling. throwing things at me or trying to break them. I dont know what to do. this morning he threw my phone at the living room tv and busted it.. Please any suggenstions
Sounds like school is very difficult and stressful and causing anxiety for your kid maybe. Life can be to fast and not enough breaks to process things and work things out. Bit overloaded with input,needs more time alone before doing anything else. Picture cards are more relaxing then hearing more voices. Letting him use picture cards is easier than trying to explain what's wrong etc too. Listening and talking is hard work for some with ODD etc They are better at going at their speed.some kids need 3 hours to get ready some can in 10 mins . One kid had a quick morning rota planned out in written list the other kid needed 3 hours step by step picture list of rota which they planned and made themselves. Whenever the 3 hour kid got into difficulties I would say... it's OK to change your list so which one would you like to change. If got angry etc then I say, ok I come back when you have had time to work it out and when your calmer. If they started screaming and throwing things about I would ignore it and say to myself...ok they not got the skill to handle it yet but one day they will. On a day when they are calm I would talk to them about drawing how they feel about school,travel to school,need more time to get ready,also what they would like if got ready calmly such as read book,play cards etc before going to school. The quieter we are in the morning helps to reduce things so picture cards could be helpful. Good luck and hope something works for you both.
The Love and Logic book and way of parenting has toned down my sons outbursts. It’s still hard but it’s much better than it was by changing my words and actions.
Hi Amber Lawrence I really empathise with you and hope life has become more tolerant compared to 7months ago. I too have had the same daily struggles with my 6yr old son where I have nearly been in tears nearly every day. My friend reached out to me after reading the FADS book and her friend is a professor in Australia. The gut has alot to do with emotions and behaviour. She put her son on a dairy/gluten free diet and after 6 months her son hasnt had one meltdown or a behavioural problem. She said it might not work for everyone, but after the year Ive had... Im willing to try anything... I hope your son has the support he needs at son as well.
I can totally appreciate the struggle. Our boy is 12 and each day is a compilation of exhausting battles to do the simplest things, and it ends with an epic battle to get him into bed. I struggle to control my own anger and often default to yelling and rage when MY emotions are exhausted. It comes with a lot of guilt and frustration and I worry that our home is an unhappy place.
ODD ..... I rather call it, not quite got the emotional handling skills. They just need loads of love patience and hugs. Picture cards are brilliant at reducing the ODD outbursts. The more peace and quiet they have the more time they have for working things out. Not everyone can handle the speed of life. A good walk in the woods can help ease things for them.
Exactly, some children are more emotionally perceptive and sensitive to the behaviours of adults. It breaks my heart to see the adults speaking about children as if there needs to be a quick fix for there child because its so annoying how they just won't fall in line with the way the world expects them to be but the other children did. News flash, every human is different.Some are easily molded, some question everything, some can't express their anger at little inconsistencies that they see in the adult world and boy oh boy are there a lot of inconsistencies. We adults are the biggest bunch of hypocrites on the planet and here we are expecting children to just accept that and move on. For crying out loud. When are we actually going to grow up and realise that we have created a world in which it is very difficult for any child to cope let alone one with increased sensitivity. How about observing how much time we spend not looking at our children and staring at our devices. I can guarantee its a lot longer than you think. as Rachel said, more love, flood them with love, time and genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings, not getting new boyfriends etc and if they then continue after a prolonged period of a year or two of flooding to continue the behaviours then maybe it is their genuine problem. Being too quick to label is a serious mistake and leads to a generation of robots in categories.
My teen has been diagnosed with ODD, GAD, ADHD, Bi-Polar 2 - it’s like raising an angry bull that is ONLY happy when it is getting exactly what it wants all the time. Jokes on me… as a parent, that’s not possible. 😢
You are not alone. I have a 14 year old son that personifies every symptom I've found with ADHD and ODD. Disrespectful, confrontational, lies and steals regularly, then brags about it. Hard to have a good day sometimes. Anyway I saw your post and I'm right there with you man. Keep your head up. Any updates?
@@neonmonkey1942 my teen just lost her cell phone permanently because she created a new iCloud account and downloaded all the social media she wasn’t allowed to have and was trying to buy a vape from some random person off Snapchat. 🙄 it’s still a struggle. One day at a time, though.
@@Eccl9.7 We always told our kids that they could get phones when they started working odd jobs and we needed to be able to talk to them. My daughter is 16. Honor roll, advanced classes, babysits and works for a family friend with her home day care. We gave her a gabb phone and she complains about it, but not too much. My son stole an old phone of mine and uses it on the school wifi with snapchat, Instagram, all the stuff we don't allow him to have. He's so confrontational that I struggle so hard to control myself and not assert myself if you know what I mean. He's 6' tall and about 160 lbs. Works out every day and he wants to fight. He's been vaping for months now. I searched his room last week and found 3 nicotine vapes and a weed vape. I took them of course and he blew up, but we kept it somewhat civil. I gave him a nicotine patch. He tells me yesterday that I need to go to the store and get cigarettes because he took mine. It's crazy man
My son has both adhd and odd we use daily routine but its a struggle at times with hime and as well with school. What you said today on video i watched it was great infromation
ODD best describes my grandson who I basically have custody of. He feels like his mom cares more about her boyfriend than him. He goes to a child psychologist once a week. It doesn't seem to be working. This is absolutely breaking my heart. He is disruptive in class. 1st grade. Won't finish his school work. Won't do the work in the classroom. Somebody give me some advice on how to deal with him. Please. If I don't keep him he will go into Foster Care. Help me please
Look up GABA, Paulette. And Toxoplasma Gondii (Tg), which eats it in the brain. It is the inhibitory neurotransmitter. When you see pages basically saying Toxo can't hurt you unless sick or pregnant, don't believe it, that's a thirty year old meme oft-repeated but proven false in recent studies, it is the cause of ODD, ADHD, ADD and all the others. When GABA is lacking and/or messed up, unable to perform its natural function, then the go-go signals in the brain (glutamate) are overwhelming, and yet they try to fill in, almost like offense players stepping in to play defense in a football game, they aren't good at it, and the result is anxiety. We are all sweet souls at our core and that includes your grandson, he's just tormented with a chemical state of emergency going on in his brain so his true nature can't come through. It puts them in perpetual fight-or-flight mode, with competing thoughts bubbling to the surface, can't relax. Researchers currently distill it down to poor self-regulation but they don't know why. This is why. GABA can be found on grocery store shelves but it doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier well at all, useless, look for the one that does, online. When looking into doctors, try to find the youngest ones possible, because the old doctors are set in their ways and think they know everything. But this is OTC, it's up to you whether you run it by them or not, do tons of reading first of course (plus youtube videos), but my experience is, all of them except a 21-yr old resident female doctor took the stance of: Didn't come from us so therefore can't be good, they are stubborn like mules, unable to learn anything new or even listen well. One laughed about me behind my back afterward in his office, didn't realize I was there, on the way to the bathroom. Your plea got to me, I usually don't go into this much detail because it looks like people aren't listening anyway, but it seems like you might. An 11-yr old neighbor that I've watched grow from a baby has this. I'm looking up videos to show to him tomorrow, because he is like you described and said kids at school don't like him, and that breaks my heart. Hoping I can make it through his defiant mentality. I'm convinced I grew up with Tg, so I am now aware of a key step -- merely knowing the root cause is helpful. But beyond that I not exaggerating when I say, GABA saved my life. I was near suicide more than once. --love and best wishes
Yeah working with children. I was so happy for the children when they finally found the right dosage and meds so they could really take part in class. My heart so goes out to parents and children especially going through lockdowns.
Well, the abusive mother gives her daughter brain-destroying drugs in order to avoid disciplining the child... Try eating a couple of tablets that you feed your daughter... you will be a vagetable for a day. Cane, dark cellar, all this is more humane than killing the brain by drugs.
So glad im not alone my 7 year old is a mess. I try so hard but w.e she does the younger 2 copy n it makes my home a shipwreck. She tortures her older brother n lil siblings. Dr said she has ADHD but i believe she has this too. At a point of time she was so sweet den she started having seizures at a young age n it fell apart. She makes me regret alot of this i dne ive said stuff i regret to her. I give her everything i never have. I love her dearly but jus cant deal with her. I find myself overwhelmed n cryn when she goes to sleep. Shed look at me wit demon eyes n jus keep goin..im lost too
i have a 2 year old who acts like all the comments i have read below. i’m so worried because her behavior continues to worsen. It went from tantrums to acting very aggressive and controlling . I have tried everything routine , baths before bed , music .. Her environment is very calm but she cries every single night when she has to go to bed she cries every single day about not getting her way she throws her self every where when she doesn’t get her way she just shuts down . I’m at my breaking point 😫 She is starting to act just like her dad he was very abusive and i think he has intermittent explosive disorder . how do i appropriately handle a two year old who is completely out of control . Spanking and time out has done nothing positive discipline also hasn’t worked 😭 I always thought distracting and redirecting behavior is a great way to avoid prolonged shit fits but not my daughter.
All techniques take a long time. Keep persisting with the positive reinforcement and seek assistance from your doctor if you are concerned. Two is a really tricky and defiant age in general though so hopefully it will settle down for your daughter once she works through this age phase. Good luck!
try to give her magnesium spray in the bottom of her feet before bed time. Accompany her until she goes to sleep so that she won't feel anxious. Hug her when she has tantrums. And most of the time children absorb their parents anxiety, they may not understand what's going on yet, but they could feel their parents emotinal vibration.
@@catied6913 "Tried" never works. Only consistency works. Initially the behaviour worsens in response to disciplinary measures, the child fights against new rules. This period must be overcome until the child gives up and loses will to protest. Sp-ing does work really well, if it is scary enough. There are other measures, too. A glass of cold water poured over the protesting child every time. Chilli pepper.
My grandson exhibits defiant behavior that lasts two hours. He is mouthy and insulting. He kicks and hits. He breaks things. He is 8 years old. His behaviors started to really pick up when he was 7. He is so hard to handle. He takes medication that does not seem to be working.
You need to whip him, strongly and safely. This is legal in many countries. You are ruining his fututre by letting him be a disgusting agressor. If you do not want caning, put chilli in his mouth, and do so every time he says anything rude or does something bad. You can also, if you do not like smacjing, pour a whole bucket of cold water over your child every time he misbehaves. Make sure you do it. it is your duty as a parent to create such condition for his that think it will cost him dear, each time he considers misbehaving. Instead of giving him normal food, in the morning offer him a piece of bread and so mmilk and nothing else. Keep him on hthis diet for 2 weeks, supplementing this by an apple every other day - while every other family member eats nice food, icecreams , pizza, etc, in his presence. It is your job to find a measure that will make him stop his misbehaviour. You are a bad mother if you do not find it. It is up to you. A whip is the quickest way, but a chilli method is asgood in the long run. And I forgot - take away his gadgets, his nice clothes, buy him a couple of ugliest changes from a charity shop and this will be his clothes - until he behaves. You are totally responsible for his ugly behaviour and it is totally your job to return him to normal.
@@svetavinogradova4243 It turned out that he was having a severe reaction to the new medication he was put on. He was taken off of the medication that made him beat everyone up. He is once again a loving, delightful child, not hitting or screaming at anyone. Whipping him would have done nothing. I am thankful none of the adults around him whipped him because his behavior was drug driven. Beating children is not always the answer to behavior problems. I hope you never have a child with a behavior issue. It seems you would be very abusive right back at the child. Finding a good psychiatrist who can help put the child on the correct medication to help him/her get a grip on themselves seems to be the better answer.
@@patriciajohnsonson8639 Normal adequate parents never have and cannot possibly have a child with a behaviour issue, as any issues get dealt with and sorted before they become issues. It is only inadequate parents who neglect the parenting duties so much that their child gets deep problems - then the whip or medication(slow poisnoning to death in fact) is the only option. How exactly did your child end up on medication in the first place? Ha?
@@patriciajohnsonson8639 How abusive is a parent who feeds the young child an atrocity of a drug that makes him beat everyone... When there are many safe and humane ways to stop misbehaviour - for example, a bit of wasabi in the mouth each time the child says a bad thing, a bucket of water over the child each time the child is aggressive... no dinner except a piece of bread for a bad day at school... instead? those "kind" cruel parents ruin their children by being so "nice" as to destroyng their endocrine system and their sexual potential by those drugs.
My fiancé has a kid with ODD. He fights over the simplest of things. She tells him to do something (anything) and he automatically argues and is constantly angry. He actually gets some strange pleasure from irritating people no matter their age. I’ve repaired several holes in our home walls that he either created by throwing things or kicking these holes. He calls her (and me) vile names. His general speak is nasty & mean even when he isn’t in a tantrum. I haven’t seen any true emotions from him other than anger. He can be very manipulative and vindictive. His own dad doesn’t even want to take him on his weekends because of his behavior. Also he is always getting in trouble at school for hitting other kids or teachers and using cuss words towards teachers and in general. He’s 12 yrs old. With simple tasks like getting dressed or tying his shoes he will get frustrated and angry. He’s always angry😔
There are children like that. I have a beautiful 6 year old who is recently professionally diagnosed with ODD. We started on individual family and individual counseling with an excellent therapist. We are considering meds so she can have a social connection with others. I guess I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Please, get to a child/family therapist who specializes in ODD… if you have one in your town; which is another issue. Sending you love and strength to you and your family.Sincerely.
Yeah. It sometimes is like that. My daughter curses over her dad's house but she didn't curse at my house. She does do that screaming at me and being argumentative and trying to change the subject. So she she wasn't cussing in front of me. I think deep down inside their is still some respect for me. Please help her through it. I bought my daughter a punching bag to get her anger out. Get one for your stepson and see if that works for him.
Bradley Conroy expand...so now what did you grow out of ODD. How are you today? Do you get along with others? Easily offended. Can you follow others rules? Employment? We’re you treated with meds for the ODD? How is your relationship with your parents? Did they negotiate with you as a child? Did they scream like maniacs. That’s what’s happening here at our home.
@Erik Killmonger with my daughter, I'm finding instead of getting angry with her and feeding that fire. I'm listening and trying to understand her. Giving her space and talking it out. Its frustrating and I feel like she walks all over me. But showing her Iove is my hope
In my experience, I was diagnosed with odd as a child as well as ADHD. Mine was brought on by trauma and being raised by a narcissist. I grew out of it, but it took to be 26 years old and separating from my father (narcissist), so there’s usually a reason. Check the surroundings. You might be surprised what you find.
@@ashleymeyer9329 I live with my mother who is a Narcissist and my daughters father is a Narcissist. Well I divorced my ex husband. ( daughters father ) its a difficult position. My daughter is ODD and ADHD. And even though my ex/ daughters father/ Narcissist is long gone. We're still stuck with living with my mother who is a Narcissist..... it sucks. With my daugthers ODD vs my mother's Narcissism. I'm always trying to keep the peace and trying to avoid my daughter from becoming a Narc. I'm a empath, I spend alot of time teaching my daughter to be emotionally in tune.
Thank you so much for this video, what strategies for educators do you have for helping children with ODD. I watched one video where the presenter states to just say " Do it or Don't do it" which then takes away the intention of gaining control. What do you think?
@@svetavinogradova4243 you punish the behavior not the illness. A lot of people can't see the difference. But you as a teacher have a right to first look and see if it's the illness or intentional. If it's intentional you have every right to talk to the then about their behavior and give them the consequence of calling their parent. The punishments that she teachers do go against the IEP or 504 plan. And you punish them like neurotypical kids. They don't respond to that. And they really don't respond well to authority figures.
@@LatoyaNicole-e1s Nobody EVER called those disorders illnesses, they are NOT illnesses, they are precisely disorders (of purely social origin). A disorder is simply bad behaviour that got sooooo baaaaad, that now correction of it is out of the teachers' power. The cause is the parent. Calling their parents is never a consequence, as the actual behaviour is the direct result of the parents not capable of controlling their kid (for their own psychological reasons). Those kids now do not respond now to normal MILD punishments. But they do respond to ones tailored for them! For example, they do respond to being fed ONLY porridge without milk or sugar 3 times a day, while other people get the fresh nice tasty various foods. Those kids do respond to a bucket of cold water poured over their heads immediately after bad behaviour. Those kids during CENTURIES! responded to what holds pants. They do! And they do respond to authority figures such as policemen.
depends what you did in the past. parents need to look at themselves a lot more than they do instead of always looking for a syndrome they can blame on the child. Sometimes the adult taking responsibility is helpful for a child. it demonstrates maturity. Lets hope you did that if 'the past' was due to you or your partner.
@@parvanehfahy9588 You guys assume a lot. You think in 26 years she hasnt tried to talk to her kid? I have a 17 year old that has been talking talks about the past in a delusional manner for the past five years, regardless of regarledess of x amount of sitdowns, familly discussions, therapy sessions, interventions and combinations thereof. I dont think you have much experience with ACTUAL ADHD or ODD.
At 26, it's ok to tell her to leave. I have an ODD teen and at 18 if she can't be respectful and kind will need to pact her bag and go. It's easier said than done but at some point you need to save yourself.
This video is 5 years old - Has any thoughts on this changed? It seems the DSM considers this a malicious/conscious behavior. Still true? When a child feels a lack of control they might adapt this type of behavior - as a way of self preservation. So in this case is that individual not someone with ODD? Pretty confused after watching this video. Please advise.
I seen the persistent tantrum at two. But she didn't be diagnosed until 5. It was lasting for two hours. She was diagnosed with adhd and odd. Now at 11 she is diagnosed with dmdd. but yes. They can't help it. I explain it that it kinda like a seizure. Something in their brain goes off. My daughter always said she wants to be good but she said it's hard. But does dmdd come before conduct disorder? Because they said that dmdd is worse than odd.
@Leianna McKeever Thank you but i think its different levels to it because the boy i know i think is insane by the way he acts, how were you when someone told you no?
@Leianna McKeever On the outside looking in that looks like a brat to me, I know someone when it doesnt get his way he tries to choke you till you're blue in the face that is why i think its different levels that boy should be in a hospital.
Can you explain to me how she got diagnosed? My son is on this road and doing a lot of research on my own and so far this video marks my son , it’s just me everyday walking a eggshells not knowing what he will say or do or react to anything I say or do or move or even eat !!
Hello, this is my 1st time watching your videos, loved it, very informative. But can you help clarify something. My son is 10 years old and is a complete mixture of adhd, add, and odd. How do you handle that?
My son has O.D.D. but so far, he's had great behavior at school (Kindergarten). He has some learning disabilities which we are navigating through right now, but no behavior issues at school. His behavior at home is horrible. He is argumentative with his siblings and my husband and I. Anytime he's told "No" he goes into a total meltdown. Why is his bad behavior seemingly reserved for home?
Marcea Parker My son is the same. Outside he is a nice boy but in the house he bangs doors, throws stuff etc. When I asked him about it he said "well this is HOME right?" I took him to a psychologist & she said he might have ODD. He's seven years old.
My 7 year old was exactly the same he just got diagnosed with ODD before 2nd grade he was really good in school now it’s like everyday the teacher has a complaint about his behavior the therapist we went to said he was behaving like that because he was comfortable at home and he knew what the consequences where going to be and at school he wouldn’t get praised and what not so therefore he knew the consequences there as well their smart and they know what they’ll get away with right now I’m very lost and unsure of what to do but I hope this somewhat helped your question all I know is that for my son I’ve gotta a praise every little thing he does but unfortunately I can’t just focus on him I’ve got a 2 year old girl and a 10 month old baby girl as well plus all the other things that I’ve gotta get done daily it’s stressful I’m praying we get thru this but most of all that he has inner peace and grows up feeling happy and loved good luck and I know it’s hard to be patient but try your hardest to keep calm it’s so hard for me to do so!
I have a 4 year old who does the same thing hes in pre k 4 he does awsome in school but the moment he gets home hes a totally different person melt downs does as he pleases slams doors hides throws his toys around hits otheres ect.
How do you help a child do homework with conduct disorder ADHD high school level how do you get them to do homework when they refuse to do it my grandson at this point his mom wants to send them to Boot Camp. I don’t think that’s the correct solution.
Can a child have this, but only at home? Strong willed even at kindergarden, but no big battles with intentionality or long argumentative sessions to get something their way.
It's a year later, I hope your situation got better overtime. A lot of times, children will behave better when at kindergarden/school/with strangers than at home, where they feel the most comfortable to be themselves. It could also be that they make a loooot of efforts throughout the day to control their behavior, so when it's time to be back home, they just can't do it anymore. If you can talk with an educator/neuropsychologist about it, they'd be able to help you more than me, a random stranger on the internet ^^ But from all the talks I had in the past years with different professionals and psychology videos I watched, it's basically what I learned! Hope that can help you! Sometimes, we just need to give time to their brain to mature enough. It's hard. But you got this. I like to think that being strong willed will eventually get them far in life, if they learn how to use it to their advantage. It's hard when they're young. But I find courage and comfort in that thought. Best wishes to you and your family!
@@misscrackwood Thank you random stranger :) Well, I think it might be better now. Still a lot of defying, refusing things when she wants sometthing else, and it just never ends....but thankfully there is no trace of any vindictive planning or scheming, atleast not anything noticable.
I have an 8 year old grandson who’s been diagnosed with ADHD & ODD. The local school district wants to place him in a residential school hundreds of miles away. I am against this option. I am looking for any suggestions where I might get him help locally with counseling and family counseling. I am also most certain he has some degree of autism but has never been diagnosed with it. Any suggestions where I can get help for him and my family would be greatly appreciated. We live near Beaumont Texas in southeast Texas.
What is it called when a child with ODD never outgrows it, but it never gets to Conduct Disorder either. They're just 25 year old children with ODD now.
Very ignorant. I work with children and I'm a parent of a child that has odd, ADHD and anxiety and trust me it's hard, heartbreaking and even takes a toll on the rest of the family. This is no joking matter or weak parenting. It's lack of help out there for kids with these issues.
My eldest son is currently facing this issue, but he is getting better now.
I started noticing him having ODD symptoms early 2022.
He did a lot of things in school which had annoyed friends, teachers and principle.
And other parents started to complaint due to his behaviour towards their kids.
He never listen, loves to argue, , he always want to win, always annoys others, easily annoyed by others and environment, frequent temper tantrums, and many more.
He hated school, teachers, friends, everything about school.
And everyday was a nightmare , waking him up for school was a real struggle, never without tears.😢
School asked me to take him for therapy after series of events involving him with other kids, teachers, unable to listen to orders and giving disturbance during classes.
I was lost, kept asking why this thing happens, and what went wrong.
Until there was this incident where he had caused injury to one of his teacher. And when the teacher asked him to say sorry, he kept himself silent. And when the teacher calmly said, "If you love your mother, then ask for forgiveness" .
Nothing happened. He acted like nothing happened and I was shocked since it happened right before my eyes. Didn't he love me?? That seemed like a red signal to me.
At home later that day, I asked him whether he loves me, and he said NO😭😭😭 with the look in the eyes full of revenge and hatred.😭
I prayed to Allah to show me the solution in Dec 2022 last year during my pilgrimage to Mekah.
After listening to Dr's recommendations , sharings and comments from social medias, I changed my way of advising him.
No more hanger, no more rattan, no more raising voice to him, always hug him, listen to him and makes him feel important. Always ask how was his day at school, etc.
On April 2023, his school teacher informed me that they were shocked to see his changes.
And of course I feel embarrassed, realizing that I was the one whom triggers this from the very beginning.😢 it wasn't his fault. It was me😢
Now I understand things slowly happened when I started having another baby and he felt neglected.
He used to take all the blame even it was his younger brother's misbehaviour and I changed this behaviour as well. No more bias, be it you are older or younger. Has to be fair among sibling.
I'm happy now that he sincerely confesses to me that he loves the new me and when I asked him why he recently behaved in school, he answered " I behave because I love you". He hugged me closely.
I cried that day the moment I saw him as if I was looking an innocent baby whom I had 8 years ago. My bad, sayang. I am so sorry... 😔
In conclusion, violence never a solution to any misbehaviour/misconduct.
Treat our children with love and respect.
I have learnt the hard way.
I hope others may give it a try too.
My bad parenting skills were..
1. Using rattan, hanger like the old timers.😢
2. Silent treatment -ignoring him for his misbehaviour (sometimes it may take 2/3days)😢. 2nd child syndrome maybe. Avoiding quarrel by keeping silence.
3. Never spend quality time with my kid.
4. Always blame him even though it was his younger brother's fault.
5. Raising my voice when I lose my patient.
6. Lack of affection with kid.
May Allah eases everything for us, insyaAllah.
Im so glad for you and your child. Kids with odd needs to feel loved and be understood. My kid with his odd suffer most himself, everything is so hard/difficult for him and his emotions are so big/intense. He doesnt do it because he wants to be bad. He has his intrests and everything that isnt in his intrest/agenda are extremly hard/difficult for him.
My son has severe adhd and a 2 out of 1-3 on a scale of odd. 1 is light and 3 is severe. He has this behavior regardless of who he meets, not only just at home, or school also at doctors or everyone that put a pressure on him. But he is also very loving, energetic, playfull and full of humor. He deserves people seeing the best in him because he himself think so bad of himself. So does your son. Make sure he believes in you loving him regardless of his behavior. You see through this behavior, it is not him hating on you, its his own struggle within himself that comes out. Take him out just you and him to breakfast or dinner. Make he believe in his own value, he is important and a highly important ingredient to your own mix of 👪.
@@lindayusof2107my husband does #4. It drives me nits and makes my job of parenting this difficult child even harder. Husband gets to take off for work and leave me with the problem.
you prayed to Allah?? LOL that's the problem.
What did you do that he's getting better? I've been trying everything for 7 years...
This is what no one is willing to say out loud. As a parent of an ODD teen, my family has been held prisoner for the past 14 1/2 years and we are counting down to age 18 when our cell door will be opened and we will be set free. How sad and heartbreaking 💔 to feel that way. We should be talking about prom and graduation but instead we are talking about hiding the car keys and long term placement. 😞 There is no help, no advice, no therapy, doctor's, meds, NOTHING that actually helps. Meds might tone down the screaming but the behaviors don't actually stop. There is no punishment, consequence or anything. You just have to survive until they are 18.
What about emancipation?
@@rockstarofredondo emancipation for someone who cannot help themselves is not something that I would do. I love her too much and she can't take care of herself. At 18 we will no longer be legally responsible for the things she does and that alone is a weight lifted. She says she will leave at 18 and I can't do anything about it if she does. She will have life knocking her around and hopefully that will help her stop her behaviors, if not, all I can do is pray for her. 🙏
That won’t go away at 18. Trust me that person won’t be able to hold a job and become independent and will be on the payroll with you for life.
@@loriparsley1914 Nope not with ours. She is my cousin, we adopted. She can go live with bio mom or the many brothers and sisters she has from bio dad. Called the cops on Saturday, Sunday she ran off 3 times, Monday she snuck out at 2 am, last night she took off and I just found her at a friend's house. At 18 and bye bye girl!
@@myidentityisinjesus8880 I am so sorry. I can only imagine the struggles your family deals with.
For every family that goes through these struggles, you are not alone. I am not an expert at all, but have friends that are. My 6 yr olds behaviour can escalate in a blink of an eye and it can be crushing to the soul, especially when you have spent their lives trying to find a solution. All I can say is the gut has alot to do with emotions and behaviours and if you can try, thats a start... Its not for everyone and I know food also can be expensive... Just putting it out their. My firend has an autistic son who would have severe meltdowns everyday. Her friend in Australia recommended the GAPS book which is eliminating dairy/gluten. She was at the end of the line and tried. Its been 6 months and not one meltdown... I am going to do this for pur whole family. We are huge gluten/dairy eaters and it will be hard, but if we can limit the meltdowns and have a healthier family... Im willing to try anything.
Parents cause this sll for that 6 y old. She is never properly stopped.
Update???
Thank you for this..I greatly appreciate it
Didn’t help us sadly, we’ve tried everything except medication
I have ocd and odd and its a really bad combo let me tell you that much. One time when I was around 10 I wanted to tell my parents to wake up and my sister just knocked on the door instead of letting me tell my parents to wake up and when she went to get changed after (i didn't know she was getting changed) I was so angry at what she did that I pulled on the door handle to her room so hard the door unlocked from being locked and my sister was half-naked (I looked away as soon as I realized and don't remember seeing her thankfully) I felt so bad afterwards and all the anger when I look back turns into shame and embarrassment. ODD is the worst because you just annoy everyone around you all the time and no one enjoys being around you or wants to be your friend. At least people with most other disorders get a chance at not being hated by everyone in their whole grade or even their whole school and have a chance at making decent friends that don't get them in trouble like mine did and then eventually find you annoying as they get older. And then to think this is all your fault and the people you met aren't mean or anything like that, it's all you that's been the problem, its all too much to handle sometimes which is probably why people with ODD are at high risk for developing depression and anxiety, the worst disorder ever.
I have the same combo, man. All I have to say is: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYW HWY WHYHWYHIEQGUFHXODEHDVGUDXHV UODSHFOS.
Thank you for your time.
It sucks so much.
Holly molly golly gee.
I'm so thankful for my friends, they stick with me through everything. I don't know who I would be without them
I enraged my teacher so bad when I was 7 that he called my mother and screamed at her. He was not an angry, rude person. I just pushed him to that by being in his classroom. I fought with authority figures or flat out disregarded them constantly. I couldn't be forced to do anything. I was a nightmare for my family. I still have issues but self reflection has been helpful over the years. And I now have great relationships with my siblings who I used to piss off royally. I use my ODD stubbornness to be dependable and loyal instead of blindly fighting about things. It has helped.
this exactly how i feel. ODD and CD traits are the worst
I’m trying to understand my son as this sounds just like him. Was there a reason why things made you mad or why authority was so hard to deal with? Have you noticed patterns of things that are difficult for you? Any advice to parents? I’m all ears!
@@lauren8407I think their issue is control. They want to feel like they have control and power but as you can understand, children cannot be given power over very much because that’s dangerous. It makes it seem like they should outgrow this urge but I’m not so sure that actually happens very much.
Most days I'm physically kicked and punched and bite the whole way to school and when I warn her I'll be telling the teacher she will go up to the teachers shouting she's been hit by me . Same in shops if she's not getting the exact amount of money she she scratch my arms whilst screaming she's getting attacked untill I give in . It is awful . Every hour of the day is a mental battle
I'm so sorry. I hope things have gotten better.
@@Lotan718 😢 horrid
My son is 7 and I have been working on helping him get through these destructive behaviors. A few weeks ago his teacher and school had a major problem. He got kicked out of daycare for his anger and he hurt another student. I had to get the paddle out. And you may not want to face the fact but it only took two times of him getting the paddle and he hasn’t been any trouble at school. I think he is growing out of his ODD🤞🏼Thank you for your videos!
You cant beat good behavior in to a kid. You need to be a good example for your kid. You take the paddle out shows him its ok to hit another person. Thats really disturbing!
@@TPWK216honestly, I was spanked as a kid and turned out fine.
Thank you so much for this information. Ive been at home waiting for a call from school for them to ask me to come pick up my 5 yr old, because he is having a meltdown and wont calm down and disrupts the class learning. I have been having anxiety over this since he started pre- k last year, and now he is kinder and here we are again... Everyday for me is waiting and wondering will they call me today and tell me he is having a bad day and to come pick him up. At times i feel like crying, and im just stressed and anxious the whole time.
Sveta you’re a troll.
@@lissacablerware8475 Nope. I said the truth.
I’m going through the same. It’s so hard. I don’t know what to do.
One of the most disruptive behaviours of mine that makes me become oppositionally defiant towards certain people is when I feel like those certain people are trying to control who I am as a person like I can't do things independently and when people don't let me do things independently or ask me to stay with them even when I promise them that nothing bad is going to happen to me then that's when I start becoming Oppositionally Defiant and that's the biggest problem with my ODD is I won't be Oppositional towards people who are always friendly to me and don't make me feel like their controlling who I am or what I decide to do for myself and others but I will be Oppositional towards people who always complain, argue and cause a fight with me when I do something wrong even when the things I do wrong rarely happen and with that been said I can easily fake my love towards people and completely abandon them later on in my life if they always complain, argue and cause fights with me over everything I do wrong even if the things I do wrong rarely happen or are accidental like the things I do at work where every once in a while a Customer will walk straight in front of me on purpose while I'm pushing and pulling trolley's just so I can accidentally hit them well when people complain, argue and cause fights with me and blame me for that type of stuff after they find out about those things I start becoming uncomfortable with those people and fake my love towards them and abandon them without them knowing and I do it by lying to them when they ask me if I love them or not by saying yes I do when I actually don't and later on in my life in about 5 years from now I'm going to completely leave those people's lives forever and not go over to see them ever again regardless if they want me to come over and see them or not.
Have the professionals ever thought that ODD and Conduct Disorder are no different than Antisocial Personality Disorder. Could it be that the kids have actual Antisocial Personality Disorder but they start out in “less serious” ways simply because they haven’t yet developed more complex ways of
hurting people? It’s unfortunate that this video suggests that parents are unable to judge intentionality. These parents get their sole ripped out daily by their child’s behaviours on an almost daily basis, they live with this hell and are the best judge of intentionality.
After 18 it's ASD. It doesn't get better, I'm sorry they can't be helped after the brain is fully developed around 25. They are criminals if they don't grow out of it.
Exactly. I always take a look at if this is the illness talking it out is it her? You never want to punish the illness. And you always have to pick your battles.
Very well explained!! Glad to see medical conversations are happening and treatment to help provide the necessary treatment for our children.
Thanks for watching!
@@TheMentalBreakdown
Can you post an affiliate link for a paid course with result based strategies on how to deal with adults that have ODD (in the workplace, in the community, military training, etc.)?
You can upmark it as much as you want as long as it gives fast results/instructions.
I, and most other people, am not their parent to ruminate over this ad nauseam.
Thank you.
Both of my kids have been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and like one Dr told me .I can use all the parenting tools 🔧 in the world but unless they are on the right medication those tools are not going to work. HE WAS RIGHT! With meds my kids are responding to the parenting tools alot better
You are abusing them by giving them brain-destroying drugs. Try a tablet for yourself.
All the parenting tools work - you will just not use them. Put them on stale bread+ milk diet whild other family members eat all nice meals. Take their gadgets permanently away.
@@svetavinogradova4243 your opinion matters very little to me. Not getting them help was abusing them .it's helping and they feel Beyer too. You are a cheap internet bully who thinks by telling me I'm abusing my kids is going to effect me in some small way but I pitty you. No respect and such negative energy who have to tear others down to in some small way feel like they gained some power.
@@Hs-tu2sl A standard response by a standard child abuser. I have no doubt that you have been ignoring all reasonable advice You ruin your kids' future with passion. They are in your hands, nobody will save them. What you consider "help" is a chemical destruction in fact, with a purposecof protection the society from your dirty animals. The real help would have been strict discipline since early childhood and a scout-like everyday timetable at home.
@@Hs-tu2sl The society deals with the products of copulation between underclass members on benefits - by ensuring chemical infertility of their offspring. Well, reasonable.
@@svetavinogradova4243 I will not argue over foolish things .raise your kids and I'll raise mine.
Every single morning I have the same issues getting my son to dress himself for school. He doesn't have the violent outburst with anyone else but me his mom. Others he will be defiant but every time he is told no or stop doing something and focus on what needs to be finished he becomes violent and yelling. throwing things at me or trying to break them. I dont know what to do. this morning he threw my phone at the living room tv and busted it.. Please any suggenstions
Sounds like school is very difficult and stressful and causing anxiety for your kid maybe. Life can be to fast and not enough breaks to process things and work things out. Bit overloaded with input,needs more time alone before doing anything else. Picture cards are more relaxing then hearing more voices. Letting him use picture cards is easier than trying to explain what's wrong etc too. Listening and talking is hard work for some with ODD etc
They are better at going at their speed.some kids need 3 hours to get ready some can in 10 mins . One kid had a quick morning rota planned out in written list the other kid needed 3 hours step by step picture list of rota which they planned and made themselves. Whenever the 3 hour kid got into difficulties I would say... it's OK to change your list so which one would you like to change. If got angry etc then I say, ok I come back when you have had time to work it out and when your calmer. If they started screaming and throwing things about I would ignore it and say to myself...ok they not got the skill to handle it yet but one day they will. On a day when they are calm I would talk to them about drawing how they feel about school,travel to school,need more time to get ready,also what they would like if got ready calmly such as read book,play cards etc before going to school. The quieter we are in the morning helps to reduce things so picture cards could be helpful. Good luck and hope something works for you both.
The Love and Logic book and way of parenting has toned down my sons outbursts. It’s still hard but it’s much better than it was by changing my words and actions.
Hi Amber Lawrence I really empathise with you and hope life has become more tolerant compared to 7months ago. I too have had the same daily struggles with my 6yr old son where I have nearly been in tears nearly every day. My friend reached out to me after reading the FADS book and her friend is a professor in Australia. The gut has alot to do with emotions and behaviour. She put her son on a dairy/gluten free diet and after 6 months her son hasnt had one meltdown or a behavioural problem. She said it might not work for everyone, but after the year Ive had... Im willing to try anything... I hope your son has the support he needs at son as well.
@@beccammoon thank you for your recommendation, will look into it.
I can totally appreciate the struggle. Our boy is 12 and each day is a compilation of exhausting battles to do the simplest things, and it ends with an epic battle to get him into bed. I struggle to control my own anger and often default to yelling and rage when MY emotions are exhausted. It comes with a lot of guilt and frustration and I worry that our home is an unhappy place.
ODD ..... I rather call it, not quite got the emotional handling skills. They just need loads of love patience and hugs. Picture cards are brilliant at reducing the ODD outbursts. The more peace and quiet they have the more time they have for working things out. Not everyone can handle the speed of life. A good walk in the woods can help ease things for them.
Exactly, some children are more emotionally perceptive and sensitive to the behaviours of adults. It breaks my heart to see the adults speaking about children as if there needs to be a quick fix for there child because its so annoying how they just won't fall in line with the way the world expects them to be but the other children did. News flash, every human is different.Some are easily molded, some question everything, some can't express their anger at little inconsistencies that they see in the adult world and boy oh boy are there a lot of inconsistencies. We adults are the biggest bunch of hypocrites on the planet and here we are expecting children to just accept that and move on. For crying out loud. When are we actually going to grow up and realise that we have created a world in which it is very difficult for any child to cope let alone one with increased sensitivity. How about observing how much time we spend not looking at our children and staring at our devices. I can guarantee its a lot longer than you think. as Rachel said, more love, flood them with love, time and genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings, not getting new boyfriends etc and if they then continue after a prolonged period of a year or two of flooding to continue the behaviours then maybe it is their genuine problem. Being too quick to label is a serious mistake and leads to a generation of robots in categories.
Haha. My mom thinks I need threats, arguments, and name calling.
They need cane.
Best response
@@lissacablerware8475 They need cane. Period.
My teen has been diagnosed with ODD, GAD, ADHD, Bi-Polar 2 - it’s like raising an angry bull that is ONLY happy when it is getting exactly what it wants all the time. Jokes on me… as a parent, that’s not possible. 😢
You are not alone. I have a 14 year old son that personifies every symptom I've found with ADHD and ODD. Disrespectful, confrontational, lies and steals regularly, then brags about it. Hard to have a good day sometimes. Anyway I saw your post and I'm right there with you man. Keep your head up. Any updates?
@@neonmonkey1942 my teen just lost her cell phone permanently because she created a new iCloud account and downloaded all the social media she wasn’t allowed to have and was trying to buy a vape from some random person off Snapchat. 🙄 it’s still a struggle. One day at a time, though.
@@Eccl9.7 We always told our kids that they could get phones when they started working odd jobs and we needed to be able to talk to them. My daughter is 16. Honor roll, advanced classes, babysits and works for a family friend with her home day care. We gave her a gabb phone and she complains about it, but not too much. My son stole an old phone of mine and uses it on the school wifi with snapchat, Instagram, all the stuff we don't allow him to have. He's so confrontational that I struggle so hard to control myself and not assert myself if you know what I mean. He's 6' tall and about 160 lbs. Works out every day and he wants to fight. He's been vaping for months now. I searched his room last week and found 3 nicotine vapes and a weed vape. I took them of course and he blew up, but we kept it somewhat civil. I gave him a nicotine patch. He tells me yesterday that I need to go to the store and get cigarettes because he took mine. It's crazy man
My son has both adhd and odd we use daily routine but its a struggle at times with hime and as well with school. What you said today on video i watched it was great infromation
Explains my son on point hes on meds and guid him gives hard time and we show what wrong and show him corret way.
ODD best describes my grandson who I basically have custody of. He feels like his mom cares more about her boyfriend than him. He goes to a child psychologist once a week. It doesn't seem to be working. This is absolutely breaking my heart. He is disruptive in class. 1st grade. Won't finish his school work. Won't do the work in the classroom. Somebody give me some advice on how to deal with him. Please. If I don't keep him he will go into Foster Care. Help me please
Look up GABA, Paulette. And Toxoplasma Gondii (Tg), which eats it in the brain. It is the inhibitory neurotransmitter. When you see pages basically saying Toxo can't hurt you unless sick or pregnant, don't believe it, that's a thirty year old meme oft-repeated but proven false in recent studies, it is the cause of ODD, ADHD, ADD and all the others. When GABA is lacking and/or messed up, unable to perform its natural function, then the go-go signals in the brain (glutamate) are overwhelming, and yet they try to fill in, almost like offense players stepping in to play defense in a football game, they aren't good at it, and the result is anxiety. We are all sweet souls at our core and that includes your grandson, he's just tormented with a chemical state of emergency going on in his brain so his true nature can't come through. It puts them in perpetual fight-or-flight mode, with competing thoughts bubbling to the surface, can't relax. Researchers currently distill it down to poor self-regulation but they don't know why. This is why.
GABA can be found on grocery store shelves but it doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier well at all, useless, look for the one that does, online. When looking into doctors, try to find the youngest ones possible, because the old doctors are set in their ways and think they know everything. But this is OTC, it's up to you whether you run it by them or not, do tons of reading first of course (plus youtube videos), but my experience is, all of them except a 21-yr old resident female doctor took the stance of: Didn't come from us so therefore can't be good, they are stubborn like mules, unable to learn anything new or even listen well. One laughed about me behind my back afterward in his office, didn't realize I was there, on the way to the bathroom.
Your plea got to me, I usually don't go into this much detail because it looks like people aren't listening anyway, but it seems like you might. An 11-yr old neighbor that I've watched grow from a baby has this. I'm looking up videos to show to him tomorrow, because he is like you described and said kids at school don't like him, and that breaks my heart. Hoping I can make it through his defiant mentality. I'm convinced I grew up with Tg, so I am now aware of a key step -- merely knowing the root cause is helpful. But beyond that I not exaggerating when I say, GABA saved my life. I was near suicide more than once. --love and best wishes
Same behaviours as my son. Your grandson could have ADHD. 60% of kids with ADHD have ODD.
@@garyha2650 thank you for your info, what is the best brand to get? I have amazon prime, so I may just order one online for my 6 yr old
change psychologist
My son has adhd and odd as well. His odd is constant. And I am beyond frustrated.
I’m sorry to hear that. My teenagers have both conditions as well, and it drains me everyday more and more.
My daughter was diagnosed ODD with ADHD since she was 5. The only thing that has helped her is medication. For a long time it was heartbreaking.
What a difficult situation! Thanks for sharing.
Yeah working with children. I was so happy for the children when they finally found the right dosage and meds so they could really take part in class. My heart so goes out to parents and children especially going through lockdowns.
Well, the abusive mother gives her daughter brain-destroying drugs in order to avoid disciplining the child... Try eating a couple of tablets that you feed your daughter... you will be a vagetable for a day.
Cane, dark cellar, all this is more humane than killing the brain by drugs.
What meds worked for you?
@@Alpha_7227please tell us the meds.
ODD is a symptom of XYY ( Jacobs syndrome). As in, a genetic origin.
I have ODD and I'm adult and thank you for the information about ODD.
Meagon
Thanks for this video, I believe my son has this disorder. Now I just need to find interventions that work for him.
So glad im not alone my 7 year old is a mess. I try so hard but w.e she does the younger 2 copy n it makes my home a shipwreck. She tortures her older brother n lil siblings. Dr said she has ADHD but i believe she has this too. At a point of time she was so sweet den she started having seizures at a young age n it fell apart. She makes me regret alot of this i dne ive said stuff i regret to her. I give her everything i never have. I love her dearly but jus cant deal with her. I find myself overwhelmed n cryn when she goes to sleep. Shed look at me wit demon eyes n jus keep goin..im lost too
Contact.me on IG please
I totally understand... You are not alone I'm going through this as well
i have a 2 year old who acts like all the comments i have read below. i’m so worried because her behavior continues to worsen. It went from tantrums to acting very aggressive and controlling . I have tried everything routine , baths before bed , music .. Her environment is very calm but she cries every single night when she has to go to bed she cries every single day about not getting her way she throws her self every where when she doesn’t get her way she just shuts down . I’m at my breaking point 😫 She is starting to act just like her dad he was very abusive and i think he has intermittent explosive disorder . how do i appropriately handle a two year old who is completely out of control . Spanking and time out has done nothing positive discipline also hasn’t worked 😭 I always thought distracting and redirecting behavior is a great way to avoid prolonged shit fits but not my daughter.
All techniques take a long time. Keep persisting with the positive reinforcement and seek assistance from your doctor if you are concerned. Two is a really tricky and defiant age in general though so hopefully it will settle down for your daughter once she works through this age phase. Good luck!
@@MissMaeww Nonsense. Too late, physical punishment is required now.
try to give her magnesium spray in the bottom of her feet before bed time. Accompany her until she goes to sleep so that she won't feel anxious. Hug her when she has tantrums. And most of the time children absorb their parents anxiety, they may not understand what's going on yet, but they could feel their parents emotinal vibration.
@@svetavinogradova4243 Did you even read this? The OP clearly stated that she had tried spanking and it didn't work.
@@catied6913 "Tried" never works. Only consistency works. Initially the behaviour worsens in response to disciplinary measures, the child fights against new rules. This period must be overcome until the child gives up and loses will to protest. Sp-ing does work really well, if it is scary enough.
There are other measures, too. A glass of cold water poured over the protesting child every time. Chilli pepper.
Such brilliant guys! Thank you so much! It's been very, very helpful.
My husband has this.....
& I am ADHD/OCD
My grandson exhibits defiant behavior that lasts two hours. He is mouthy and insulting. He kicks and hits. He breaks things. He is 8 years old. His behaviors started to really pick up when he was 7. He is so hard to handle. He takes medication that does not seem to be working.
You need to whip him, strongly and safely. This is legal in many countries. You are ruining his fututre by letting him be a disgusting agressor. If you do not want caning, put chilli in his mouth, and do so every time he says anything rude or does something bad. You can also, if you do not like smacjing, pour a whole bucket of cold water over your child every time he misbehaves. Make sure you do it. it is your duty as a parent to create such condition for his that think it will cost him dear, each time he considers misbehaving.
Instead of giving him normal food, in the morning offer him a piece of bread and so mmilk and nothing else. Keep him on hthis diet for 2 weeks, supplementing this by an apple every other day - while every other family member eats nice food, icecreams , pizza, etc, in his presence.
It is your job to find a measure that will make him stop his misbehaviour. You are a bad mother if you do not find it. It is up to you. A whip is the quickest way, but a chilli method is asgood in the long run.
And I forgot - take away his gadgets, his nice clothes, buy him a couple of ugliest changes from a charity shop and this will be his clothes - until he behaves.
You are totally responsible for his ugly behaviour and it is totally your job to return him to normal.
@@svetavinogradova4243 It turned out that he was having a severe reaction to the new medication he was put on. He was taken off of the medication that made him beat everyone up. He is once again a loving, delightful child, not hitting or screaming at anyone. Whipping him would have done nothing. I am thankful none of the adults around him whipped him because his behavior was drug driven. Beating children is not always the answer to behavior problems. I hope you never have a child with a behavior issue. It seems you would be very abusive right back at the child. Finding a good psychiatrist who can help put the child on the correct medication to help him/her get a grip on themselves seems to be the better answer.
@@patriciajohnsonson8639 Normal adequate parents never have and cannot possibly have a child with a behaviour issue, as any issues get dealt with and sorted before they become issues. It is only inadequate parents who neglect the parenting duties so much that their child gets deep problems - then the whip or medication(slow poisnoning to death in fact) is the only option.
How exactly did your child end up on medication in the first place? Ha?
@@patriciajohnsonson8639 Having a child on medication is abuse - much worse than any painful belting.
@@patriciajohnsonson8639 How abusive is a parent who feeds the young child an atrocity of a drug that makes him beat everyone...
When there are many safe and humane ways to stop misbehaviour - for example, a bit of wasabi in the mouth each time the child says a bad thing, a bucket of water over the child each time the child is aggressive... no dinner except a piece of bread for a bad day at school... instead? those "kind" cruel parents ruin their children by being so "nice" as to destroyng their endocrine system and their sexual potential by those drugs.
My fiancé has a kid with ODD. He fights over the simplest of things. She tells him to do something (anything) and he automatically argues and is constantly angry. He actually gets some strange pleasure from irritating people no matter their age. I’ve repaired several holes in our home walls that he either created by throwing things or kicking these holes. He calls her (and me) vile names. His general speak is nasty & mean even when he isn’t in a tantrum. I haven’t seen any true emotions from him other than anger. He can be very manipulative and vindictive. His own dad doesn’t even want to take him on his weekends because of his behavior. Also he is always getting in trouble at school for hitting other kids or teachers and using cuss words towards teachers and in general. He’s 12 yrs old. With simple tasks like getting dressed or tying his shoes he will get frustrated and angry. He’s always angry😔
Is he in therapy?
There are children like that. I have a beautiful 6 year old who is recently professionally diagnosed with ODD. We started on individual family and individual counseling with an excellent therapist. We are considering meds so she can have a social connection with others.
I guess I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Please, get to a child/family therapist who specializes in ODD… if you have one in your town; which is another issue.
Sending you love and strength to you and your family.Sincerely.
Yeah. It sometimes is like that. My daughter curses over her dad's house but she didn't curse at my house. She does do that screaming at me and being argumentative and trying to change the subject. So she she wasn't cussing in front of me. I think deep down inside their is still some respect for me. Please help her through it. I bought my daughter a punching bag to get her anger out. Get one for your stepson and see if that works for him.
And also for some reason puberty exacerbates the symptoms.
@@LatoyaNicole-e1s definitely!
How did I stumble upon a video with Dr. Marshall
I nearly fainted with stroke . My son is so rebellious God help!
God won't help. You need to parent him properly. Listen to John Rosemond. Listen to Jordan Peterson.
Excellent video I wish I saw this three years ago the sooner the better lol fantastic job explaining 👏 👍 thank you ❤️
I was diagnosed with adhd and odd as a kid and ocd as a teenager later on.
Bradley Conroy expand...so now what did you grow out of ODD. How are you today? Do you get along with others? Easily offended. Can you follow others rules? Employment? We’re you treated with meds for the ODD? How is your relationship with your parents? Did they negotiate with you as a child? Did they scream like maniacs. That’s what’s happening here at our home.
And what happened? Share us some light to us desperate parents. Thank you.
ODD leads to Narcissism?? 🤔🤔🤔 angry/ self centered/ blames others... 🤔🤔🤔
@Erik Killmonger with my daughter, I'm finding instead of getting angry with her and feeding that fire. I'm listening and trying to understand her. Giving her space and talking it out. Its frustrating and I feel like she walks all over me. But showing her Iove is my hope
That’s what my therapist told me with my son ODD . “ not to give what he wants or he will be a Narcissism “ he’s 14 yrs old .
In my experience, I was diagnosed with odd as a child as well as ADHD. Mine was brought on by trauma and being raised by a narcissist. I grew out of it, but it took to be 26 years old and separating from my father (narcissist), so there’s usually a reason. Check the surroundings. You might be surprised what you find.
@@ashleymeyer9329 I live with my mother who is a Narcissist and my daughters father is a Narcissist. Well I divorced my ex husband. ( daughters father ) its a difficult position. My daughter is ODD and ADHD. And even though my ex/ daughters father/ Narcissist is long gone. We're still stuck with living with my mother who is a Narcissist..... it sucks. With my daugthers ODD vs my mother's Narcissism. I'm always trying to keep the peace and trying to avoid my daughter from becoming a Narc. I'm a empath, I spend alot of time teaching my daughter to be emotionally in tune.
@@Kimberly-ug2oq I relate so much! What's helped me is DBT therapy for c-PTSD from narcissistic abuse. I hope you can get out. It's worth it.
Thank you so much for this video, what strategies for educators do you have for helping children with ODD. I watched one video where the presenter states to just say " Do it or Don't do it" which then takes away the intention of gaining control. What do you think?
Nothing can done, as there is no punishment allowed to teachers to employ. Life will punish those kids later.
@@svetavinogradova4243 you punish the behavior not the illness. A lot of people can't see the difference. But you as a teacher have a right to first look and see if it's the illness or intentional. If it's intentional you have every right to talk to the then about their behavior and give them the consequence of calling their parent. The punishments that she teachers do go against the IEP or 504 plan. And you punish them like neurotypical kids. They don't respond to that. And they really don't respond well to authority figures.
@@LatoyaNicole-e1s Nobody EVER called those disorders illnesses, they are NOT illnesses, they are precisely disorders (of purely social origin). A disorder is simply bad behaviour that got sooooo baaaaad, that now correction of it is out of the teachers' power. The cause is the parent.
Calling their parents is never a consequence, as the actual behaviour is the direct result of the parents not capable of controlling their kid (for their own psychological reasons). Those kids now do not respond now to normal MILD punishments. But they do respond to ones tailored for them! For example, they do respond to being fed ONLY porridge without milk or sugar 3 times a day, while other people get the fresh nice tasty various foods. Those kids do respond to a bucket of cold water poured over their heads immediately after bad behaviour. Those kids during CENTURIES! responded to what holds pants. They do! And they do respond to authority figures such as policemen.
I can’t concentrate. I keep looking at his bow tie and expecting it to start twirling around any minute
I seriously need help with my 26 yr old who uses he mental illness as a excuse to be defiant .She also won’t let go of the past ..
depends what you did in the past. parents need to look at themselves a lot more than they do instead of always looking for a syndrome they can blame on the child. Sometimes the adult taking responsibility is helpful for a child. it demonstrates maturity. Lets hope you did that if 'the past' was due to you or your partner.
She just wants you to hear her.
@@parvanehfahy9588 You guys assume a lot. You think in 26 years she hasnt tried to talk to her kid? I have a 17 year old that has been talking talks about the past in a delusional manner for the past five years, regardless of regarledess of x amount of sitdowns, familly discussions, therapy sessions, interventions and combinations thereof. I dont think you have much experience with ACTUAL ADHD or ODD.
At 26, it's ok to tell her to leave. I have an ODD teen and at 18 if she can't be respectful and kind will need to pact her bag and go. It's easier said than done but at some point you need to save yourself.
This video is 5 years old -
Has any thoughts on this changed? It seems the DSM considers this a malicious/conscious behavior. Still true? When a child feels a lack of control they might adapt this type of behavior - as a way of self preservation. So in this case is that individual not someone with ODD? Pretty confused after watching this video. Please advise.
Thanks for the message. We posted a podcast on this topic yesterday (Sunday 8/5/24). Thanks for the question!
I seen the persistent tantrum at two. But she didn't be diagnosed until 5. It was lasting for two hours. She was diagnosed with adhd and odd. Now at 11 she is diagnosed with dmdd. but yes. They can't help it. I explain it that it kinda like a seizure. Something in their brain goes off. My daughter always said she wants to be good but she said it's hard. But does dmdd come before conduct disorder? Because they said that dmdd is worse than odd.
What happens when these people become adults? And are the perpetual victim that takes no accountability for their situation?
Just found out my daughter has ODD IT broke my heart
Good luck, when they are on meds they are calm for awhile then the crazy comes out later on.
Deandre Ray how are you doing? What interventions are you doing and how are they going?
@Leianna McKeever Thank you but i think its different levels to it because the boy i know i think is insane by the way he acts, how were you when someone told you no?
@Leianna McKeever On the outside looking in that looks like a brat to me, I know someone when it doesnt get his way he tries to choke you till you're blue in the face that is why i think its different levels that boy should be in a hospital.
Can you explain to me how she got diagnosed? My son is on this road and doing a lot of research on my own and so far this video marks my son , it’s just me everyday walking a eggshells not knowing what he will say or do or react to anything I say or do or move or even eat !!
Hello, this is my 1st time watching your videos, loved it, very informative. But can you help clarify something. My son is 10 years old and is a complete mixture of adhd, add, and odd. How do you handle that?
My son has O.D.D. but so far, he's had great behavior at school (Kindergarten). He has some learning disabilities which we are navigating through right now, but no behavior issues at school. His behavior at home is horrible. He is argumentative with his siblings and my husband and I. Anytime he's told "No" he goes into a total meltdown. Why is his bad behavior seemingly reserved for home?
Great question I hope they answer.
Marcea Parker My son is the same. Outside he is a nice boy but in the house he bangs doors, throws stuff etc. When I asked him about it he said "well this is HOME right?" I took him to a psychologist & she said he might have ODD. He's seven years old.
My 7 year old was exactly the same he just got diagnosed with ODD before 2nd grade he was really good in school now it’s like everyday the teacher has a complaint about his behavior the therapist we went to said he was behaving like that because he was comfortable at home and he knew what the consequences where going to be and at school he wouldn’t get praised and what not so therefore he knew the consequences there as well their smart and they know what they’ll get away with right now I’m very lost and unsure of what to do but I hope this somewhat helped your question all I know is that for my son I’ve gotta a praise every little thing he does but unfortunately I can’t just focus on him I’ve got a 2 year old girl and a 10 month old baby girl as well plus all the other things that I’ve gotta get done daily it’s stressful I’m praying we get thru this but most of all that he has inner peace and grows up feeling happy and loved good luck and I know it’s hard to be patient but try your hardest to keep calm it’s so hard for me to do so!
I have a 4 year old who does the same thing hes in pre k 4 he does awsome in school but the moment he gets home hes a totally different person melt downs does as he pleases slams doors hides throws his toys around hits otheres ect.
Have you read the book Love and Logic? Changes to my parenting tactics have helped with my sons outbursts. And he just seems happier overall.
How do you help a child do homework with conduct disorder ADHD high school level how do you get them to do homework when they refuse to do it my grandson at this point his mom wants to send them to Boot Camp. I don’t think that’s the correct solution.
Can a child have this, but only at home? Strong willed even at kindergarden, but no big battles with intentionality or long argumentative sessions to get something their way.
Yes, if the child has got rubbish parenting.
It's a year later, I hope your situation got better overtime. A lot of times, children will behave better when at kindergarden/school/with strangers than at home, where they feel the most comfortable to be themselves. It could also be that they make a loooot of efforts throughout the day to control their behavior, so when it's time to be back home, they just can't do it anymore. If you can talk with an educator/neuropsychologist about it, they'd be able to help you more than me, a random stranger on the internet ^^ But from all the talks I had in the past years with different professionals and psychology videos I watched, it's basically what I learned! Hope that can help you! Sometimes, we just need to give time to their brain to mature enough. It's hard. But you got this. I like to think that being strong willed will eventually get them far in life, if they learn how to use it to their advantage. It's hard when they're young. But I find courage and comfort in that thought.
Best wishes to you and your family!
@@misscrackwood Thank you random stranger :) Well, I think it might be better now. Still a lot of defying, refusing things when she wants sometthing else, and it just never ends....but thankfully there is no trace of any vindictive planning or scheming, atleast not anything noticable.
@svetavinogradova4243 its actually genetic
I have an 8 year old grandson who’s been diagnosed with ADHD & ODD. The local school district wants to place him in a residential school hundreds of miles away.
I am against this option. I am looking for any suggestions where I might get him help locally with counseling and family counseling.
I am also most certain he has some degree of autism but has never been diagnosed with it.
Any suggestions where I can get help for him and my family would be greatly appreciated.
We live near Beaumont Texas in southeast Texas.
What’s the solution?
Try to make it to 18 without falling apart. 😢
Im confused cause i was diagnosed with adhd and odd unless my doctors wrong
What is it called when a child with ODD never outgrows it, but it never gets to Conduct Disorder either. They're just 25 year old children with ODD now.
They are called rubbish.
stereo is reversed. youre not insane
WOW
Omg my son!! Please help us
what a curse :(
first of all, these children might be FIXED signs
Yes and comes from Vaccine
Yeah, that’s not true at all. Shut up with your false info.
Odd isn’t a real disorder. It’s just the moment when kids wake up and realize the people around them are no better than them.
You need help.
Wow you couldn’t be more wrong 🤣🤣
What?😂 i want what ur smoking
You have no idea what you are talking about
@@myidentityisinjesus8880 if youre talking to the mirror, youd be correct
To be honest, to me this all bad education and weak parenting
no , it isnt, you are so damn ignorant
Very ignorant. I work with children and I'm a parent of a child that has odd, ADHD and anxiety and trust me it's hard, heartbreaking and even takes a toll on the rest of the family. This is no joking matter or weak parenting. It's lack of help out there for kids with these issues.
Yeah. You have 3 kids and one day you just decide you're going to be a shitty parent to one of them. Bad luck, kiddo! 🙄
How is it the other kids in the home are ok then??
To vini