I am currently in the age group you mentioned. I know it is possible to make it. I know it for sure. Yet, I cannot make the first step. Stepping out of the comfort zone is the hardest part for me. Nothing seems like is worth it as we will all die eventually. I know this is a flawed logic too. Regardless.. thank you... unlike the other "self-help" gurus which i refuse to listen to, I feel like you're honest. Cheers.
Hey, thanks so much for sharing your experience; it really means a lot to me. I’m curious about something you mentioned: stepping out of your comfort zone being the hardest part. Have you done that before? If so, how do you actually experience that difficulty? Does it feel physical, like a heaviness, or is it more mental or emotional? Also, I get what you’re saying about the whole ‘we all die, so what’s the point’ thing. Honestly, I think there’s truth in that-it’s a valid perspective. But I also feel like it’s not the whole truth, if that makes sense? Would love to hear your thoughts on it, especially how it ties into your own experiences. Feel free to be specific if you’re comfortable!
@@willtogrow6878 I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone a few times, and it didn’t go well or at least, I feel like I failed. Others seem to think I’m doing fine, maybe even great. I might be overly self-critical, but deep down, I have a strong sense of what’s right and wrong, and it feels like I didn’t measure up. That’s where my fear of failure comes from. The obstacle isn’t external, it’s emotional and mental. To be more specific, the biggest step out of my comfort zone happened about a decade ago. I moved away from the country I grew up in at a young age to start a new life elsewhere; because life pushed me to. I did my best to adapt, despite the disappointments from family, friends, and society. I’m proud to say I did it all on my own, without external help. I learned and grew through trial and error. But now? I feel like I fought so hard for so little. I don’t have the drive to push for something better anymore. It’s as if I’ve become like an old man in his 60s, content to sip tea and watch the sky from a balcony or live like a hermit. Why step out of the comfort zone again, just to start another uphill battle in a world built on superficial pursuits? That’s my thought process. I’m aware of its flaws, but the real struggle is in taking action, not just thinking about it. There’s always this defeatist fear; rooted in past failures, that I won’t be good enough. Stepping out becomes even harder when you believe death is the end. Losing loved ones was agonizing at first, but over time, it’s settled into a dull, persistent ache, something I’ve learned to accept as part of life. Ironically, I think everyone should reflect on death now and then. Not out of pessimism, but as a reminder to be kind and to recognize that nothing we cling to is truly permanent. We’re all just passing through. That said, I know this mindset might seem counterproductive in today’s fast-paced world. I’ll admit, I’m not great at living life. My thoughts probably don’t carry much weight, but I can’t help philosophizing about these things. Maybe that’s all this is... me sharing my thoughts. Thanks for listening.
I get what you’re saying, and congrats on leaving your country to start a new life-that must have been such an exciting (and maybe overwhelming?) time. Taking on a challenge like that can be so rewarding. I did something similar in my early 20s, moving to a new city where I barely knew anyone...just one aquaintance actually, and barely at that. But yeah, over time, that sense of adventure can start to fade, and it’s easy to feel like the old man drinking tea you mentioned. That “what’s the point?” feeling can creep in. I don’t think it’s just about getting older, though-I’ve met young people who already feel like that and older people who are full of life. I think when we’re younger, it can be easier to tap into this sense of purpose or connection with ourselves that gives everything we do a kind of energy or meaning. It also sounds like there’s a lot of rumination going on, which I know all too well. For me, I’ve realized that what felt like deep, wise thinking at the time was often just my brain stuck in a stress loop. It’s tricky, though-it really pulls you in. If you’d like to chat more, I’m happy to keep talking here. Or if you ever want to dive deeper, we could even hop on a call-I’d be glad to help unpack what’s going on. Just drop me an email (my address is up in the comments) if that feels right-no pressure!
Absolutely. When you get to know people on a deeper level, it becomes clear that many tend to selectively self-sabotage certain aspects of their lives. For example, I feel like my relationships are in a great place right now, but my career is pretty average. Meanwhile, I have friends who are thriving professionally, but their personal relationships are falling apart. When they share the situations they find themselves in with their friends or partners, it’s so obvious to me that they’re self-sabotaging-just as I’m sure it must be to them when I talk about my professional struggles. Maybe there are people out there who don’t hold themselves back in any area, but I haven’t met many. I'm curious how it is for you?
@@willtogrow6878 I noticed that in dating and education I would not give 100%. So when I failed it was not a blow to my ego because I could tell myself that I could have done it if I hadn't been lazy. Since I am aware of this mechanism I try to always give 100%
I am currently in the age group you mentioned. I know it is possible to make it. I know it for sure. Yet, I cannot make the first step. Stepping out of the comfort zone is the hardest part for me. Nothing seems like is worth it as we will all die eventually. I know this is a flawed logic too.
Regardless.. thank you... unlike the other "self-help" gurus which i refuse to listen to, I feel like you're honest.
Cheers.
Hey, thanks so much for sharing your experience; it really means a lot to me. I’m curious about something you mentioned: stepping out of your comfort zone being the hardest part. Have you done that before? If so, how do you actually experience that difficulty? Does it feel physical, like a heaviness, or is it more mental or emotional?
Also, I get what you’re saying about the whole ‘we all die, so what’s the point’ thing. Honestly, I think there’s truth in that-it’s a valid perspective. But I also feel like it’s not the whole truth, if that makes sense? Would love to hear your thoughts on it, especially how it ties into your own experiences. Feel free to be specific if you’re comfortable!
@@willtogrow6878 I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone a few times, and it didn’t go well or at least, I feel like I failed. Others seem to think I’m doing fine, maybe even great. I might be overly self-critical, but deep down, I have a strong sense of what’s right and wrong, and it feels like I didn’t measure up. That’s where my fear of failure comes from. The obstacle isn’t external, it’s emotional and mental.
To be more specific, the biggest step out of my comfort zone happened about a decade ago. I moved away from the country I grew up in at a young age to start a new life elsewhere; because life pushed me to. I did my best to adapt, despite the disappointments from family, friends, and society. I’m proud to say I did it all on my own, without external help. I learned and grew through trial and error.
But now? I feel like I fought so hard for so little. I don’t have the drive to push for something better anymore. It’s as if I’ve become like an old man in his 60s, content to sip tea and watch the sky from a balcony or live like a hermit. Why step out of the comfort zone again, just to start another uphill battle in a world built on superficial pursuits? That’s my thought process. I’m aware of its flaws, but the real struggle is in taking action, not just thinking about it. There’s always this defeatist fear; rooted in past failures, that I won’t be good enough.
Stepping out becomes even harder when you believe death is the end. Losing loved ones was agonizing at first, but over time, it’s settled into a dull, persistent ache, something I’ve learned to accept as part of life. Ironically, I think everyone should reflect on death now and then. Not out of pessimism, but as a reminder to be kind and to recognize that nothing we cling to is truly permanent. We’re all just passing through. That said, I know this mindset might seem counterproductive in today’s fast-paced world.
I’ll admit, I’m not great at living life. My thoughts probably don’t carry much weight, but I can’t help philosophizing about these things. Maybe that’s all this is... me sharing my thoughts.
Thanks for listening.
I get what you’re saying, and congrats on leaving your country to start a new life-that must have been such an exciting (and maybe overwhelming?) time. Taking on a challenge like that can be so rewarding. I did something similar in my early 20s, moving to a new city where I barely knew anyone...just one aquaintance actually, and barely at that.
But yeah, over time, that sense of adventure can start to fade, and it’s easy to feel like the old man drinking tea you mentioned. That “what’s the point?” feeling can creep in. I don’t think it’s just about getting older, though-I’ve met young people who already feel like that and older people who are full of life. I think when we’re younger, it can be easier to tap into this sense of purpose or connection with ourselves that gives everything we do a kind of energy or meaning.
It also sounds like there’s a lot of rumination going on, which I know all too well. For me, I’ve realized that what felt like deep, wise thinking at the time was often just my brain stuck in a stress loop. It’s tricky, though-it really pulls you in.
If you’d like to chat more, I’m happy to keep talking here. Or if you ever want to dive deeper, we could even hop on a call-I’d be glad to help unpack what’s going on. Just drop me an email (my address is up in the comments) if that feels right-no pressure!
Sounds like you tend to self sabotage
Absolutely. When you get to know people on a deeper level, it becomes clear that many tend to selectively self-sabotage certain aspects of their lives. For example, I feel like my relationships are in a great place right now, but my career is pretty average. Meanwhile, I have friends who are thriving professionally, but their personal relationships are falling apart. When they share the situations they find themselves in with their friends or partners, it’s so obvious to me that they’re self-sabotaging-just as I’m sure it must be to them when I talk about my professional struggles. Maybe there are people out there who don’t hold themselves back in any area, but I haven’t met many. I'm curious how it is for you?
@@willtogrow6878 I noticed that in dating and education I would not give 100%. So when I failed it was not a blow to my ego because I could tell myself that I could have done it if I hadn't been lazy. Since I am aware of this mechanism I try to always give 100%
@@willtogrow6878 I replied to you yesterday. Seems like UA-cam deleted that comment. Very frustrating.
@@wunder1385 Yeah! I saw that, where did your comment go? So strange.
@@willtogrow6878 happens to me all the time -.-