I cant eat

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  • Опубліковано 6 кві 2015
  • with Brian Jordan Alvarez and Michael Henry
    Find Brian Jordan Alvarez and his friends on the internet:
    Videos: / bjalvo
    Instagram: brianjordanalvarez
    Facebook: thebrianjordanalvarez
    Twitter: brianjoralvarez
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 359

  • @gaIexy
    @gaIexy 7 років тому +6579

    "You just ate."
    "........That was a gesture."

    • @elijahbowen1401
      @elijahbowen1401 6 років тому +59

      I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THAT OMG

    • @hugedoofus
      @hugedoofus 4 роки тому +6

      I don't even get it.

    • @thelouisfanclub
      @thelouisfanclub 4 роки тому +2

      It’s about oral sex

    • @DeathnoteBB
      @DeathnoteBB 4 роки тому +14

      hugedoofus Basically he ate just to be polite. Except no he actually has to eat, as a human person

    • @dominic8272
      @dominic8272 4 роки тому +1

      thanks i nearly forgot about this line in the last 20 seconds of a 0:57 clip

  • @carljay9761
    @carljay9761 7 років тому +8238

    when 2 bottoms meet and one of them has to top

  • @amazingdoublea
    @amazingdoublea 6 років тому +2368

    Why is this like a real social thing we humans do

  • @kiddarkness371
    @kiddarkness371 9 років тому +3066

    Love the table's center piece.

    • @BrianJordanAlvarez
      @BrianJordanAlvarez  7 років тому +650

      it's really giving "head"

    • @thelessimportantajmichel287
      @thelessimportantajmichel287 5 років тому +90

      She can’t digest

    • @JosephM
      @JosephM 3 роки тому +34

      @@BrianJordanAlvarez I-

    • @MichaelaBelle
      @MichaelaBelle 3 роки тому +8

      The way I've watched this video literally 70 times and never noticed

    • @tom_something
      @tom_something 2 роки тому +8

      I have watched this video about once every six months, and this is the first time I noticed your comment. And the first time I noticed the centerpiece. I guess the actors just have such a commanding presence that I can't see anything else in the scene.

  • @oliverjames8007
    @oliverjames8007 6 років тому +3156

    when you and your friend both have eating disorders and are trying to constantly one up each other

    • @miami309
      @miami309 6 років тому +195

      this is fucking terrible lmfao
      relatable tho ;"-(

    • @sinseer8358
      @sinseer8358 6 років тому +16

      Oliver James 😭

    • @adassai92
      @adassai92 6 років тому +18

      Basically my life

    • @chriiiiis
      @chriiiiis 6 років тому +17

      Oliver James Are you ok?

    • @rattears1991
      @rattears1991 6 років тому +86

      Oliver James I was literally looking through the comments to see if someone already made a eating disorder comment lol I was gonna say the same thing

  • @partlyironic
    @partlyironic 3 роки тому +462

    Me and my friends have incorporated “That was a gesture” into our every day conversation as much as possible

    • @spacehog4188
      @spacehog4188 3 роки тому +3

      I need to start doing this lmao

  • @JoyceCatolos
    @JoyceCatolos 7 років тому +1496

    half-expecting for them to say at the end: "BRUNCH"

    • @gabrielborjas7923
      @gabrielborjas7923 6 років тому +11

      Joyce C that would've been perfect

    • @fixyrheart
      @fixyrheart 3 роки тому +2

      Especially because they wouldn't be able to eat

  • @heyborttheeditor1608
    @heyborttheeditor1608 6 років тому +313

    "I canT eaT"

    • @blauekatze18
      @blauekatze18 3 роки тому

      It's the enunciation for me. Lol

  • @inrglctc8983
    @inrglctc8983 4 роки тому +641

    Can't tell if this is about bottoming, the pursuit of skinnyness, or all of the above and then some 🤷🏽‍♂️

  • @pinky4842
    @pinky4842 4 роки тому +105

    i need a version of this with ppl constantly trying to one up each other on how much they DONT sleep

  • @crooked_teeth.
    @crooked_teeth. 6 років тому +249

    i do this "i ate so much rn because i didnt eat breakfast okay" thing all the time and i feel so called out

  • @xbeautifulxliex123
    @xbeautifulxliex123 9 років тому +852

    I'm dying. Holy shit, I just sat here and watched all your comedy videos and you are HILARIOUS.

  • @ChrisSmith-mo7et
    @ChrisSmith-mo7et 9 років тому +508

    You are basically my new favorite person.

  • @ItSAaliya_onSCREEN
    @ItSAaliya_onSCREEN 4 роки тому +69

    "I can'T eaT" 😌I can'T eaT 😢 I can'T eaT 🙁"
    SOOOO funny

  • @Arik666
    @Arik666 9 років тому +469

    This video is in color. And -- although I can't verify it because my speakers don't work -- it appears to have sound.

    • @petiegoodman4647
      @petiegoodman4647 8 років тому +11

      +Brian Jordan Alvarez I read the reply with your voice as the narrator!!

    • @ohboilien
      @ohboilien 8 років тому +10

      +Petie Goodman me too. everything is in this voice now and I don't fight it.

    • @marioalejandrodanielcaiced8550
      @marioalejandrodanielcaiced8550 5 років тому +2

      I can't with the reply. I just can't.

    • @scottdaniels7534
      @scottdaniels7534 3 роки тому

      @Grande Leonardo I believe you mean red

  • @backs3atdriver
    @backs3atdriver 7 років тому +902

    I peed myself when he just...let the water out of his mouth oh my god

  • @claymodelexpert
    @claymodelexpert 6 років тому +132

    I watched this when I was 14 and I assumed that bottoms dont eat at all

    • @brycelucas286
      @brycelucas286 3 роки тому +1

      is that a wrong assumption

    • @bvvvb
      @bvvvb 3 роки тому

      ​@@brycelucas286 At least in the lesbian world, bottoming is more about getting fucked. And I think it's the same for gays. With oral sex people generally have less of a preference for giving or receiving. source autostraddle

    • @brycelucas286
      @brycelucas286 3 роки тому +6

      @@bvvvb what r u on ab

    • @bvvvb
      @bvvvb 3 роки тому +1

      @@brycelucas286 I just realized they meant eat as in, eat lol

    • @brycelucas286
      @brycelucas286 3 роки тому +1

      @@bvvvb did u think they meant eat as in... salad tossing

  • @KatBlaque
    @KatBlaque 3 роки тому +64

    They look so young.

  • @talkhardmrjailer
    @talkhardmrjailer 5 років тому +70

    This probably what everyone in los angeles is like

    • @nternetrat
      @nternetrat 2 роки тому

      you're absolutely correct :)

  • @karlscoasters1643
    @karlscoasters1643 3 роки тому +43

    Fun fact: you can actually go the rest of your life without eating!

  • @lukeduhe9978
    @lukeduhe9978 6 років тому +53

    The part where he wipes a tear from his eye kills me every time!

  • @MitchellWiggs
    @MitchellWiggs 6 років тому +145

    Where do I get the head in a bowl center piece

    • @jf2801
      @jf2801 3 роки тому

      @Ch Erry or the color could just be a coincidence. 🙄

  • @evelynnmid
    @evelynnmid 6 років тому +24

    this felt longer than 57 seconds

  • @lokp7
    @lokp7 3 роки тому +2

    pretty good adaptation of kafka's "a hunger artist"

  • @corey_el
    @corey_el 8 років тому +25

    i'm dying i'm sending this to all my friends because it's too frickin real

  • @eshang8081
    @eshang8081 8 років тому +130

    LOL it could've ended on "I can't breathe"

  • @anastasiabeaverhausenleslie
    @anastasiabeaverhausenleslie 5 років тому +4

    God I just LOVE Michael Henry.

  • @tinybed
    @tinybed 7 років тому +12

    i've watched this probably like 25 times so far and im JUST now noticing the head on the table

    • @jonathandpg6115
      @jonathandpg6115 5 років тому +1

      Lol which is a big part of the joke lol. He's amazing.

  • @ambrr_lily
    @ambrr_lily 2 роки тому +3

    The dribbling the water tipped me over! I think I pulled a muscle laughing so hard. Y'all are all SO GOOD!!!

  • @tori2373
    @tori2373 6 років тому +5

    God this was SO ahead of its time

  • @Straight90s
    @Straight90s 2 роки тому +1

    I’m just now discovering this channel and I’m obsessively watching every video. Brian and Co. are all comedic geniuses I just love it so much

  • @adrixhan
    @adrixhan 6 років тому +20

    I canT eaT

  • @silpheedTandy
    @silpheedTandy 5 років тому +8

    these videos are so bizarre. i love it and all of the subtext!

    • @jonathandpg6115
      @jonathandpg6115 5 років тому

      Yup that's what I love about some of his videos. It has a lot of subtext in them

  • @lonex6873
    @lonex6873 5 років тому +9

    *This channel is the pinnacle of humour*

  • @Nicktardwall
    @Nicktardwall 8 років тому +36

    You are actually a genius

  • @frank9032003
    @frank9032003 7 років тому +7

    BJA is a comic god! He is so hilarious. I love comedy but it is rare for me to lose it laughing. If not laughing at these videos, I am squirming out of pure joy. Plus he is very handsome ...:) Seriously thanks for these. Please never stop!

  • @xalessandro0394x
    @xalessandro0394x 8 років тому +118

    Brian, why arent you famous?! i just found out about you and already in love with you, you are perfection personified

  • @trindadetm
    @trindadetm 3 роки тому +1

    This has so many possible indirect meanings that i can't even stop trying to guess...

  • @dawn6905
    @dawn6905 6 років тому +7

    *that was a gesture*

  • @mamahki5
    @mamahki5 8 років тому +22

    Your videos are so funny and SMART - the comedy translates to us here in Finland as well. Will be posting these A LOT.

  • @NathanielBagley
    @NathanielBagley 3 роки тому +4

    I clicked on this out of curiosity and then when I realized where it was going I wheezed out of uncomfortableness because I HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH SOMEBODY EVERYDAY OH GOD WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ALL OF US

  • @MrConstancejames
    @MrConstancejames 9 років тому +7

    Brilliance, really. All of them (the videos) brilliance. Great work :)

  • @saixmusic9322
    @saixmusic9322 3 роки тому +10

    I feel like straight guys do the opposite
    "Man why you didn't eat anything?"
    "Dude I ate like an entire cow at lunch and I want to get drunk faster okay?"

    • @SanaSamaha
      @SanaSamaha 3 роки тому +2

      This is totally a straight guy thing to do. "I eat enough to feed a small family, but I don't eat when I drink because then it hits harder."
      On another note, my brother ate 10 hamburgers in one sitting, and I just watched him in awe and disgust. (He's not fat, in fact he's very skinny and could stand to gain a few pounds.)

  • @transrights1373
    @transrights1373 2 роки тому +2

    friendly reminder that everybody deserves to be nourished and healthy and food is good for you.

  • @ricardotrevinojr1994
    @ricardotrevinojr1994 3 роки тому +1

    I can't believe this only 58 seconds; it feels longer!

  • @khai5357
    @khai5357 8 років тому +64

    i'm dying too like most of the people

  • @SuperHappyNotMerry
    @SuperHappyNotMerry 6 років тому +40

    i feel like me and my friends do this thing exactly. it's almost as if we compete to be the one who eats more like a 'skinny person'. it's weird and awful but we do it every time

    • @jonathandpg6115
      @jonathandpg6115 5 років тому +4

      You sure they're just friends at this point? :)

    • @cai3886
      @cai3886 4 роки тому +2

      @@jonathandpg6115 How would this insinuate a romantic relationship??

    • @victoriap1649
      @victoriap1649 3 роки тому +3

      @@cai3886 I think they were insinuating that said friendship seems a bit too toxic to be a true friendship

    • @cai3886
      @cai3886 3 роки тому +1

      @@victoriap1649 ooh, yeah, that makes a lot more sense lol.

  • @nathanaelholley7783
    @nathanaelholley7783 9 років тому +8

    BJA and his friends are the funniest new group in LA, why weren't they writing Looking? HUUUHHHH

  • @NickGeorgiou
    @NickGeorgiou 5 років тому +1

    Thank you for the hearty chuckle

  • @funkygiovi
    @funkygiovi 6 років тому +2

    This is. Literally. The funniest thing I ve ever seen on the internet,

  • @PettyBlue1
    @PettyBlue1 3 роки тому +4

    I was searching vids for med school this morning and I honestly thought this was going to be about Parkinson’s disease and difficulty swallowing

  • @kelseyf2619
    @kelseyf2619 6 років тому +2

    The single most underrated video on youtube

  • @TheRsdfdf
    @TheRsdfdf 9 років тому +1

    you are bloody brilliant

  • @willowweeper
    @willowweeper 6 років тому +12

    breathetarians

  • @DominicChrisitianMom
    @DominicChrisitianMom 4 роки тому

    Their eyes are great actors.

  • @mbv4057
    @mbv4057 4 роки тому +1

    this is ur best video, this is good stuff, gosh i've watched it so many times.

  • @liviaberrogain
    @liviaberrogain 6 років тому +4

    sending love from rio de janeiro brian! you are amazing!!! (oh, and this is totally real in middle class rio as well)

  • @sammicchi7289
    @sammicchi7289 6 років тому +1

    the camera quality of all these videos is incredible

  • @sywitz
    @sywitz 4 роки тому

    The collaboration I needed

  • @Itsmcebo
    @Itsmcebo 5 років тому +1

    reminds me of this short story i read called '' the luncheon ''. i love it.

  • @CekaDStar
    @CekaDStar 6 років тому +1

    When you have weird competitions in elementary school on who can one up each other

  • @fka_sticks
    @fka_sticks 9 років тому +4

    This is like me with my friends except the exact opposite.

  • @sofi-vv1fr
    @sofi-vv1fr 5 років тому +1

    this is gold

  • @pikpik42
    @pikpik42 11 місяців тому

    imagine having to deal with this on a daily basis

  • @DontMindLena
    @DontMindLena 6 років тому +1

    Brian this is amazing

  • @trentt5310
    @trentt5310 6 років тому +1

    I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU DONT HAVE A MILLION VIEWS AND SUBSCRIBERS

  • @jorgepadilla9945
    @jorgepadilla9945 Рік тому +1

    this is how folks act when they go out to a bar and go "omg I have to work tomorrow at 6AM.." then someone goes "omg I'm so tired i've been up since yesterday.."

  • @rat_dragon
    @rat_dragon 2 роки тому +1

    "I had a 6 inch"
    Woah now, thought we were talking 'bout food, son

  • @dylanbuchman8128
    @dylanbuchman8128 4 роки тому +1

    Lmfao this makes absolutely no sense but at the same time I totally get it and it's hilarious

  • @jrcervincervin2782
    @jrcervincervin2782 5 років тому +1

    That changed fast

  • @kendalk.3202
    @kendalk.3202 8 років тому +4

    Fuck. Oh my God. This is amazing.

  • @jennilang721
    @jennilang721 3 роки тому

    I was hoping for an "i can't eat 147%".🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍

  • @anastasiabeaverhausen9202
    @anastasiabeaverhausen9202 6 років тому +1

    Omg I can't breath ....this reminds me of basically everyone on another website that I'm on

  • @dmolinah
    @dmolinah 5 років тому +1

    Still the best vid on UA-cam

  • @denizalgazi
    @denizalgazi Рік тому

    This was all metaphor! 6", 12", doesn't swallow - just spits it out…

  • @catgirluwu3413
    @catgirluwu3413 3 роки тому

    "that was a gesture"

  • @MrTananea
    @MrTananea 8 років тому +2

    I'm watching all your videos. Can't stop lauthing

  • @thulanigwebu
    @thulanigwebu 3 роки тому

    "i cant eat"
    "what is food?"

  • @grunkert
    @grunkert 6 років тому

    You are incredibly fucking hilarious, I cannot believe I've only just discovered your comedy

  • @awisecar9540
    @awisecar9540 6 років тому +1

    Very Kristin Wiig's Penelope

  • @ianmiller2349
    @ianmiller2349 3 роки тому

    Wipes symbolic tear

  • @latoaam1218
    @latoaam1218 8 років тому +5

    literally my friends 😂😂 and then theres me ,who could most likely eat for england....

  • @TayKProductions1
    @TayKProductions1 9 років тому +5

    Hilarious.

  • @matthewjury4385
    @matthewjury4385 2 роки тому

    The water dribble is everything

  • @stellawalker5277
    @stellawalker5277 7 років тому +3

    *finds this channel*
    Welp there goes all my time

  • @malpanka
    @malpanka 3 роки тому

    this was made years before tiktok, and even though the format suits tiktok perfectly, the dimmed still frame as youtube tries to load the next video makes these so much funnier

  • @WordsFlowMagnetic
    @WordsFlowMagnetic 3 роки тому +1

    Food has never happened to me

  • @AlexRiversMusic
    @AlexRiversMusic 5 років тому +1

    These are hilarious

  • @JavenarchX
    @JavenarchX 5 років тому +1

    I cant eat.. Then I have a whole bottle of white wine and ... ummm ..... It never ends well

  • @christopherpasta344
    @christopherpasta344 2 роки тому

    I only eat socially. I literally can’t. It’s like this weird adorable quirk I have that’s uniquely me

  • @kostumeking428
    @kostumeking428 6 років тому

    Why is this so funny??? It is fucking hilarious! ♡

  • @kx1music
    @kx1music 2 роки тому

    I can't sweat.

  • @slylover123
    @slylover123 9 років тому +2

    new sub here-love this

  • @FerHivore
    @FerHivore 3 роки тому

    It’s like Brian talking to an adult Brick from The Middle.

  • @GF-dt1ex
    @GF-dt1ex 3 роки тому

    A 2fer. Love it.

  • @IndependentMind115
    @IndependentMind115 3 роки тому

    When you talk about size and realize how much you can take...

  • @idalisnunez7353
    @idalisnunez7353 6 років тому

    I’m watching this and eating right now

  • @Tony-lq1zp
    @Tony-lq1zp 9 років тому +2

    lmao these videos are so funny

  • @youtubecommentposter5704
    @youtubecommentposter5704 6 років тому +1

    I can't eat.

  • @edwardr85
    @edwardr85 2 роки тому

    Super funny