What do AQA Examiners Want in Descriptive Writing? Mr Salles

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  • Опубліковано 4 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 404

  • @polinavekchina8513
    @polinavekchina8513 6 років тому +486

    you legend thank you for helping me get a grade 8 on my mock

  • @misan2002
    @misan2002 6 років тому +499

    normal people : "try and you will succeed"
    examiners: "try and you will fail"

  • @RF-gj4wb
    @RF-gj4wb 7 років тому +340

    'you have plenty of time' *stresses out*

  • @TBC1599
    @TBC1599 7 років тому +369

    Teachers always tell me to write for quality, not quantity - but I've found that you sometimes achieve quality by writing more.

    • @azhalhalil9429
      @azhalhalil9429 5 років тому +31

      the more you write the better quality you have to throw in, language is purely writing as much as you can in the amount of time you have. how you're able to balance your work and the quality while having a time limit also you need to keep your work at a high grade there's a lot more pressure on this than literature.

    • @irrelevance3859
      @irrelevance3859 4 роки тому +16

      Quality always wins though. Someone could write one page and still get more marks than one who wrote three poor pages

    • @unaestrella1876
      @unaestrella1876 3 роки тому +2

      Yes. Although I'm a student about to take this test in a week's time, I like writing in my free time. Never done a set of mocks before, and started revising two days ago (but I have revised before like for tracking tests in-between , as I was only warned a whole month if or when we had some mocks) so I spent a lot of time stressing out. Even though I attempted to revise in the unseen poetry I still only got half marks 🥺. I do better in the poetry anthology however in the mocks I won't do great becaus I only did well as the teacher told us what poems were going to be in the lit. So that gave me the night before JUST the night before to revise them two.poems.which compared well to get 25/30. I was so proud of that. But unfortunately I'll just have to revise twice as hard. However i have to cram every subject revision into a whole week. Can I do it? 😔. Now I know for next time not to leave it until one week notice :(

    • @krisha9413
      @krisha9413 2 роки тому

      My friend wrote 1 and a half ages with medium handwriting it was like 350 words or less and he got 36 while I wrote like 3 whole pages with so many words and only got 28 so idk

    • @user-ye9bc7nw2c
      @user-ye9bc7nw2c 8 місяців тому

      @@unaestrella1876what did you get?

  • @favourosunbitan1144
    @favourosunbitan1144 5 років тому +110

    This taught me that the examiners don’t give a damn about half of what you write
    And to try hard but not to hard 🤯
    God help meee😭

  • @BJ-tw5xr
    @BJ-tw5xr 6 років тому +470

    My handwriting is really messy but hopefully it makes me look intelligent lol

    • @aleena9495
      @aleena9495 5 років тому +19

      Brian Jones same it becomes slanted and scruffy so it is joined up but not because I want it to be it’s because it takes longer to lift the pen off the page😂

    • @saad-bc1by
      @saad-bc1by 5 років тому +4

      As long as it's readable👍

    • @unaestrella1876
      @unaestrella1876 3 роки тому +2

      The one time I don't envy people with neat handwriting

    • @Mjeuro992
      @Mjeuro992 3 роки тому

      Lol same

    • @user-ye9bc7nw2c
      @user-ye9bc7nw2c 8 місяців тому

      Loo

  • @CClikesteatea28
    @CClikesteatea28 4 роки тому +136

    "filling every crack and nanny"
    nook and cranny?

  • @misan2002
    @misan2002 6 років тому +153

    these examiners are so annoying
    for god's sake it's a bloody language paper not a handwriting paper
    and how can they just assume whether someone did good or bad just by reading the 1st paragraph, it's like reading 1 paragraph of a book and they just assuming it's a bad book, they wouldn't do that with a novel then why do it with a student's work aka their life?

    • @mohammadmujahid199
      @mohammadmujahid199 5 років тому +11

      They are humans my friend...and humans can be unjust at times

    • @tmuto5119
      @tmuto5119 5 років тому +12

      Ok first imo just reading the first paragraph of a short story isn't the same as reading the first paragraph of a novel. It's more like reading the first chapter. And if u read the first chapter of a book and it was lacklustre you wouldn't want to read more so what the examiners are doing by giving a rough grade at the first paragraph is pretty reasonable because to get good marks and show that you're a skilled writer you have to grip in the reader in immediately or else the they will have a lack of interest in the development of the text.

    • @jamieeddolls5605
      @jamieeddolls5605 5 років тому +19

      can't expect them to care for each student when it gets into their 100th+ essay, they want the money

    • @misan2002
      @misan2002 5 років тому +1

      @@jamieeddolls5605 true

    • @misan2002
      @misan2002 5 років тому +1

      @@tmuto5119 the introduction of an essay would never be the same as the rest of the essay

  • @KushSudra
    @KushSudra 6 років тому +82

    lool night before my exam... thank you so much :)

  • @mildridgeiii
    @mildridgeiii 2 роки тому +12

    my teachers opinions and explanations are starkly different to yours Mr Salles and I wish I had discovered you sooner then the day before my exams. I love the way you acknowledge that you have you understand why you are using the techniques at a given moment and how you can use it to reflect the senses etc. This was amazingly helpful thank you!!

  • @AlexisAshi72
    @AlexisAshi72 7 років тому +129

    Hi Mr Salles,
    Thanks to your videos I got two grade nines in English Literature and English Language! Keep doing what you're doing because you're great at it :)

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +32

      Brilliant news, well done. I will keep going this year!

    • @sbegum29
      @sbegum29 6 років тому +3

      Ayesha Khan omg that's amazing well done !! Xx

    • @KS-wp3wj
      @KS-wp3wj 6 років тому +1

      Ayesha Khan 😡

    • @aimannawaz3364
      @aimannawaz3364 6 років тому +5

      I’m rlly bad at description any examples that u can give me for sentences for a bad picture (a picture like the one In the video) and a good picture( sunny etc )

    • @abdirahimmussa2708
      @abdirahimmussa2708 6 років тому

      is this a levels or gcses

  • @fanshionandissy4817
    @fanshionandissy4817 6 років тому +110

    You have plenty of time.... *exam is tomorrow*

  • @aanisahbx
    @aanisahbx 5 років тому +29

    I have my exam this year and I’m having some really bad panic attacks because I wanna pass English Language and I hope. Thank you for this video, it’s helping me.

  • @em-ov5vd
    @em-ov5vd 2 роки тому +12

    This is the section I dropped marks in my mocke. In the first half of the paper I only dropped 4 but here I ended up with 15/24 which prevented me from getting a 9 annoyingly. Thank you for this, Im hoping to improve this section for the exam next week xx

  • @AA-io7ml
    @AA-io7ml 4 роки тому +34

    For once my messy joined hand writing will come in handy😂

  • @lorisabujupi2241
    @lorisabujupi2241 7 років тому +30

    I watched this video the night before my exam and it happened to actually appear in my real exam 😂 this helped me so much

  • @ellies3258
    @ellies3258 5 років тому +22

    Got my English paper 1 today. Watching videos hoping that I will suddenly become a genius😊

  • @CHANELLEPLAYS
    @CHANELLEPLAYS 5 років тому +35

    7:30 “its like Cinderella at midnight.” 💀🤣😭

  • @lewis8550
    @lewis8550 6 років тому +317

    you get demarked for trying to hard bloody hell XD

    • @hasannavqi5131
      @hasannavqi5131 6 років тому +28

      too*

    • @blankmindtheory3446
      @blankmindtheory3446 5 років тому +51

      Ikr, why are examiners such d#cks when it comes to marking, this stuff is really hard, I'm 3 months before my exam and can't even hit a level 4 nothing I do seems to be right, at this stage it feels futile

    • @Klaizee
      @Klaizee 5 років тому +2

      @@blankmindtheory3446 same broo im stuggling

    • @azhalhalil9429
      @azhalhalil9429 5 років тому

      demarked isn't a word and by the way you posted this comment tells me that you didn't work hard.

    • @azhalhalil9429
      @azhalhalil9429 5 років тому

      @Mino Nasri didn't work hard to create it, who are you one to question you said the word 'init' like sym

  • @KatieJones-iq1qj
    @KatieJones-iq1qj 3 роки тому +7

    I get that - sometimes super neat handwriting gives the examiner (subconsciously) the impression that you've spent too long forming each word perfectly rather than focusing on the actual content. I loved the way you described the lighthouse as being pockmarked - the plosive was a really good way of expressing the sound of the bullet-like rain and I think you don't get enough credit or recognition and I don't think it's fair how people complain to you about examiners when you're just helping us understand what they're like so I subscribed :)

  • @abdullahahmed3843
    @abdullahahmed3843 4 роки тому +19

    Doctors’ handwriting makes the most sense now

  • @SeraVicky
    @SeraVicky 4 роки тому +6

    It's a good lesson for those adults struggling with creative writing as well. Thank you.

  • @johndoe-xr9jm
    @johndoe-xr9jm 6 років тому +96

    How do I change my handwriting in 12 hours

  • @zigaudrey
    @zigaudrey 6 років тому +5

    I love comparaison of both version. There are multiple way to describe a landscape.

  • @bynx3959
    @bynx3959 7 років тому +26

    I got 18 out of 40 in this section, it brought my grade down massively in the mock, in my head I was doing all this stuff but I guess not

  • @lollypop3508
    @lollypop3508 7 років тому +25

    Thank you so much! very helpful. please continue with these AMAZING GCSE language videos. I will buy the revision guide too! :)

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +3

      lolly pop Thanks! I will continue. I hope you enjoy the Guide. I'm really pleased with it.

  • @ketchurself7979
    @ketchurself7979 5 років тому +6

    Thank you so much Mr salles, i used your videos and got a 9 for english language!

    • @naima2242
      @naima2242 5 років тому

      if you can remember can you tell me which specific videos you watched and that helped you

  • @natalieowen8487
    @natalieowen8487 5 років тому +48

    “Plenty of time” exam in less than 24 hours

  • @Naholro
    @Naholro Рік тому +1

    Greetings from S.Korea.
    Well,
    Thanks a lot for sharing
    even though I don't understand fully what you say because I have lack English.
    I'm glad to meet you.
    Please joy yourself and happy time 🙏

    • @Enternity_edits
      @Enternity_edits 5 місяців тому +1

      thought kin jun on doesnt alow u to watch yt?

  • @bellalott4248
    @bellalott4248 4 роки тому +3

    This has been really helpful and encouraging for practicing the coming CEAIs.

  • @aesthetical5196
    @aesthetical5196 4 роки тому +14

    “Highly accurate spelling”
    Me being dyspraxic: well Ima just fail

  • @thomasmcwilliams1171
    @thomasmcwilliams1171 5 років тому +1

    I got mocks on Wednesday I'm so glad I managed to find this guy. You make English revision so much easier

  • @ultraviolet16
    @ultraviolet16 Рік тому +2

    Because I watch your videos I managed to get 30/40 I was very proud of my self I wished I discovered you sooner 😢❤

  • @upgradeabdiplease2575
    @upgradeabdiplease2575 5 років тому +4

    Past my gcse because of you thank you so much

  • @mangelo_1855
    @mangelo_1855 5 років тому +12

    Could you ever make a video for how papers gets marked to like understand what examiners would react throughout your answer including for other questions??

  • @cece873
    @cece873 3 роки тому

    tbh my favourite english teacher

  • @A-RK
    @A-RK 6 років тому +2

    in the "What do AQA Examiners Want in Descriptive Writing?" video, you misread the student's word high-lighted in blue. You read it as "ordered" when it says "circled" ; the light above circled the perimeter. Having said that love your videos and the way you teach.

  • @sarahh5547
    @sarahh5547 7 років тому +7

    Hi, could possible make a video on all the possible language techniques and how to identify them e.g nouns and many more complex features that will contribute in achieving a higher mark?

  • @caraselway1845
    @caraselway1845 7 років тому +6

    thank you so much for all your gcse videos they help loads!

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +5

      caralouise Thanks, that is the plan. I just need to persuade my own students to watch them!

  • @oldrecollections6854
    @oldrecollections6854 4 роки тому +14

    Hello, thank you for your content I find it incredibly useful. As a student who receives 7s, 8s and sometimes 6s, is there any advice or helpful tips that you could give me to tip them over into grade 9s because I have been stuck on these for quite some time. Thanks.

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  4 роки тому

      Watch my videos, or check out my guides. Practise exam papers and ask your teachers for grade 9 answers.

  • @TBC1599
    @TBC1599 7 років тому +15

    Having looked at the two pieces, the round handwriting makes (in my head) the writing look worst. And when I see the joined up handwriting, I think that it is a better response. Strange.

  • @philipmckenna942
    @philipmckenna942 7 років тому +24

    Mr Salles i wrote this during the mock (45 min) and want to know what you think of it (descriptive)
    Hacking and slashing. Hacking. Slashing. That is all what these tyrant waves were capable of doing. The clouds loomed menacingly over the pathetic shelter, making themselves look like fierce lions compared to the building which looked like a mouse. There were a few ships beyond the cliffs, trespassing in the territory of the omnipotent ocean. You can see and hear the rocks. Screaming. Begging for your help, yet you do nothing.
    Strolling up the stairs calmly, as if you were walking along the sandy beaches of Barbados with your gorgeous wife. You make it at the top of your mouse, staring in absolute agony beyond the tyrants. You see two ships, and in one of them was a lonely woman sleeping calmly. She woke up! What had awakened her was the immense noise from the storm: wind lashing her precious rucksacks, rain on the boat flooding her to death, and thunder. You could hear it too. Roaring. The roaring ocean battling the tiger above. It was a massacre. The two ships toppled over, consumed by the tyrants with no mercy.
    Darkness. The rain pattered dismally against your smooth face. Something smashes against you. You fall.
    Blue was the colour of the rocks. A sick blue. The tyrants were clubbing, lashing and suffocating the rocks. Walking down safely some of the tyrants start to bully you. They threw fish and salty water at you, as if it were the Olympics and the tyrants were playing javelin or shotput. Some of the salty, irritating, horrid water slowly creeps into your dry mouth. It tasted like rubber-tyres. Immediately spitting it out, the tyrants saw that as a self-defence mechanism. The tyrants began hacking and slashing at you like before. Trampling calmly over you, the rock squealed in pain dictating for the pain to stop. Ugh! The smell of fish was worse than the pain of the rocks! Wait...everything...was just fading away. The rocks closed their annoying mouths, the tigers started to sleep, and the tyrants were no longer tyrants. It is as if an omnipotent figure had all put them to a deep sleep...
    Hacking and slashing? No more! The beautiful, smooth yet dirty rocks were in place. The ships floated back calmly up towards the heavens, yet the power of the tyrants sunk down to the abyss of hell. The tiger above became a kitten, softly purring in the background. Everything was calm and cold. Silence. You awaken. Next to your gorgeous wife, you see her giggling at you. Finally realising, this was all an eye-popping, beautiful nightmare...

  • @aidensgames1419
    @aidensgames1419 7 років тому +7

    I love these types of video, thanks!

  • @laurenkezzy181
    @laurenkezzy181 7 років тому

    Thankyou so much! I have an end of year test tomorrow and this is the sort if thing we have to do!

  • @dannybeast6660
    @dannybeast6660 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks for the vid, my practice paper got a 9 thanks to you 🙏

    • @xoxox9197
      @xoxox9197 3 роки тому +1

      How did u get a 9?

  • @ramaboy10
    @ramaboy10 7 років тому +24

    I did this for my mock and I did the description, got 35/40! I got 24/24 for the actual writing but my apostrophe's were bad and my some of my sentence length was lacking

  • @crispyfries_214
    @crispyfries_214 6 років тому +1

    This is the exact question i was asked on my EXAM

  • @prongs0611
    @prongs0611 5 років тому +6

    Mr Salles, when it says "write a description", can I do it from the perspective of a character? And make the character move onto different scenes? This way I won't be writing about rocks for 40 minutes.

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  5 років тому +1

      yes, as long as moving scenes does not turn into a story

    • @prongs0611
      @prongs0611 5 років тому

      @@MrSallesTeachesEnglish Thanks for the reply. I was very grateful to find that Q5 was a short story today about time travel, of all things!

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  5 років тому

      Hope it went really well

  • @AliAli-li1yo
    @AliAli-li1yo 2 роки тому +3

    Anyone here before their language paper?

  • @ppaul1847
    @ppaul1847 6 років тому +4

    Interesting video. As someone who is not a native English speaker, I am always trying to improve my linguistic skills.
    It seems, however, that both the marker and the commentator have missed that the student on the left has misspelt "it's" instead of "its" - taking into account the student has repeated the same mistake twice, it may be the case they don't actually know the difference.

  • @myc_tv
    @myc_tv 3 роки тому +3

    Try to be bilingual and pass this exam... It is extremely hard to write in a similar way as the English do. Especially when it comes to having a sophisticated vocabulary which takes almost a lifetime to learn. I don't even want to mention the use of idioms which are impossible to master. I'd like to see the native English speakers taking the similar exam, but in a second language they learned.

  • @A-RK
    @A-RK 6 років тому +2

    This is my answer to question 2 of paper 1. Heart of Darkness. I did not time myself. I hope you will use it for one of your videos. I would really appreciate some feedback.
    Ij hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Any feedback will be much appreciated.
    Paper 1 Q. 2 Heart of darkness
    The main technique Conrad uses is one of comparison; in two detailed complex sentences “Black rags were…” and “I could see every rib...” he lists vivid descriptions of the men and the chain.
    Conrad first creates an image of the men as animals. This is suggested by the “iron collar” around their necks which reminds us of a dog’s collar. The “chain” reminds us of a dog’s leash. The collar and leash are symbolic of men who have no rights. Like animals, these men are completely naked except for a “rag” which conceals their manhood. The adjective “black” implies the rag is filthy and unwashed in keeping with the image of an animal. Conrad continues to describe this loin cloth using a simile “the short ends behind waggled to and fro like tails.” The verb “waggle” is suggestive of a dog wagging its tail. Conrad purposefully shocks the reader as even the least discerning reader could hardly fail to pick up on the comparisons and the explicit language.
    However, there is a layering of comparisons. Conrad could see “every rib” this brings to mind a skeletal torso where the shape of the ribs is clearly visible, and this shape is reflected in roundness of each link of the chain.
    Another comparison can be drawn between the “limbs” and the chain that “swung” between them. Conrad uses a simile likening the limbs to “knots in a rope.” A mental image is created of long, rope-like arms swinging beside them, similar to the long “chain whose bights swung between them.”
    Horrifyingly, the comparison of the animate with the inanimate suggests these men are not even considered as living beings. The strong parallels drawn between the men and the chains indicates perhaps they are nothing more than a link in the chain; they are so intricately woven into the chain that they have become part of it. It makes the reader question the cause of the rhythmical “clinking” sound. Is it their footsteps or the chain? Are the men nothing more than “links” in a chain? When a link breaks will it be discarded and replaced by another?
    Conrad uses the chain to symbolise slavery, the dehumanisation of man and perhaps the creation of a new kind of property.
    The matter-of-fact tone adopted by Conrad and the absence of emotive vocabulary suggests that Conrad wants the reader to make up their own mind as to how they feel about the plight of these men. He conveys what he hears and sees objectively, which perhaps suggests he hasn’t made up his mind on the issue as yet, or he might be involved in these practices in some way, and maybe as the story progresses he will begin to think of slavery as repugnant thereby creating conflict.
    However, Conrad suggests a distinct human quality, which is in stark contrast to the humiliation of the men, when he states “they walked erect.” This word “erect” implies they are not beaten yet; their pride is intact, as they are standing tall. They are suffering terribly but they are holding onto their dignity.
    The overall effect of this contrast is to introduce conflict, which encourages us to dare to hope the men will rise and fight against their oppressors.

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  6 років тому +1

      Yes, this isindeed brilliant, though much more than you need for this question! Thank you very much for posting it.

  • @aryan.2384
    @aryan.2384 7 років тому +1

    I wish I was this clever
    Also thank you
    You could of helped him get a better mark in the future
    When i do the exam

  • @synmx_2037
    @synmx_2037 7 років тому +8

    Omds I just had this exam wish it was up earlier

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +1

      Cynthia Mumbaya But that was just a mock? Plenty of time to review it before the real thing, and practise your own.

  • @piano-fe4bv
    @piano-fe4bv 7 років тому +2

    Thank you so so so so so much. Is it possible if you could make more videos like these!!!?

  • @joemarmer4125
    @joemarmer4125 6 років тому +12

    Day of the exam squad

  • @jake6711
    @jake6711 4 роки тому +1

    This really really helps, thanks

  • @H3N6Y60
    @H3N6Y60 7 років тому

    Thank you this video really helped me... wish me luck tomorrow!

  • @SonicBlueberry-k4e
    @SonicBlueberry-k4e Рік тому

    Do you think examiners will still accept responses as long as the left one as convincing/compelling? I know it's quality > quantity, but the left answer was ~ 208 words.

  • @Andrew-re8np
    @Andrew-re8np 4 роки тому +1

    Basically what u gotta do is write a insane first paragraph and then write about shit in the rest. Thanks for this !

  • @user-du8my9pg6c
    @user-du8my9pg6c 5 років тому +3

    messy hand writing and i’m guaranteed a high mark, good neat handwriting and all of a sudden i’m not as great🙃

  • @marinaahmed8003
    @marinaahmed8003 5 років тому +1

    in the “better” piece they used apostrophe in it’s wrong didn’t they? you don’t use for possession?

  • @ramizarahman689
    @ramizarahman689 5 років тому +2

    This video was really helpful! I just had a question, if i were to write mostly about the storm but also describe other things e.g. have a girl in the lighthouse watching the storm happen and describe her and her feelings e.t.c would i lose marks? or is better to only use what's given in the picture?

  • @TheUltimateHackertron
    @TheUltimateHackertron 5 років тому

    What happens if you don’t finish part B but finished part A, does the examiner keep in mind about what they would’ve got if you finished or do they just take away all the marks?

  • @sohafarhinpine1474
    @sohafarhinpine1474 4 роки тому +1

    I tried to use pathetic fallacy here (also some sibilance):
    The rancorous clouds viciously spat onto the ground, raining down a shower of fury upon the locals. It was a grandiloquent manifestation of rage and wrath, as the heavens were torn apart by the torrential gusts of wind. As a thunderstorm brewed, the people scampered and scurried to seek shelter. At this juncture, they had little hope of weathering the seething storm.

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  4 роки тому

      You use both very accurately. Now go back and decide which adverbs you don't necessarily need.

  • @mohammedkarim320
    @mohammedkarim320 5 років тому +3

    would u recommend the description or the story

  • @minarohani4549
    @minarohani4549 7 років тому

    Would you advise to pick the picture or write an opening to a short story?

  • @IlannaGane
    @IlannaGane 5 років тому +23

    night before my exam ahhh

  • @eloisewright3536
    @eloisewright3536 6 років тому +10

    Why did watching this stress me out more??? I've always got high(ish) grades in my section Bs but what???
    The examiner looks at my hand writing and things oh yeah their work is worth a 3??? Like what?? I've never liked my hand writing but how is it fair that the examiners can judge our work purely on our hand writing? If that's true I've already failed a good 7 of my exams 😂
    Also how come every English teacher has nailed into us that we need to use all these techniques and now we can be restricted in our marks for using them? We're told to use our senses to improve the descriptions so how can that now restrict our marks? I don't mean anything by this but I genuinely am worried about this now. Thanks.

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  6 років тому +6

      You do need to use these techniques, but they must fit the description. Think of it like a cereal bowl, where you are making your own granola - you can't just chuck in everything you think is tasty, as they won't fit - chorizo, tomato sauce, chilli, ice cream.
      Examiners won't deliberately mark your hand writing, so it will have a small impact on your grade. Stop stressing.

    • @KS-wp3wj
      @KS-wp3wj 6 років тому +1

      Eloise Wright 😂🤦‍♂️

  • @fitnesst.r3053
    @fitnesst.r3053 3 роки тому

    Looks like ik bringing back my old handwriting

  • @miarivers953
    @miarivers953 7 років тому +7

    Hi, I was wondering if you could give me feedback on this piece of work I did and possibly a grade? It’s about a storm but not this picture.
    Shades of black filled the atmosphere as the athletic waves of air did its best attempt at chasing the cadaverous-white clouds. A blinding horizon desperately tried to crawl on top of the murky, blue blanket but was instantly squashed by a deadly shadow trying to dispose of the brightness-just witnessing this terrifying scene made my whole soul darken.
    Murkiness filled the air as the thunder rumbled hungrily in the distance, searching for its prey. Birds shrieked in the distance, searching for a place to hide; searching for solidarity. Pebbles tinted with blue began to plummet to the ground and fall into a nearby lake with a crash. Everything happened at once. Some kind of organised chaos. Suddenly, the surrounding area changed. Pellets of cobalt water continued to spit to the ground; a diamond clear, rebellious bolt ripped open the colossal sky with a smash.
    Thunder carried on bringing noise to this desolate area making everyone surrounding feel fury alongside it. The perpetual rumbling stopped as if confused but, this time, it sent wind with it, tossing around the once steady trees. The merciless ever growing breeze caused the water in the nearby miniature lake to race in all directions panicking. This once silent area had now become a medley of many sounds creating music: crashing, banging and rumbling all contributed as the sky continued to grow grey.
    Vast area of soft emerald green grass were being thumped by the strong rain as the bright white bolts acted like scissors; slicing up the sky. Darkness was in control. Every time a saviour ray of sun broke through the barrier of clouds it was instantly concealed, like a badly kept secret.
    An army of trees in the distance were continually zapped by light which made them all lean away from each other with the help of the wind.
    Thankyou!

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +6

      Rachael Honey It’s pretty good. My advice is hard. To get 7 and above, take out anything you don’t need. This needs some ruthlessness I am afraid.

    • @miarivers953
      @miarivers953 7 років тому

      Mr Salles Teaches English okay thankyou so much!

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +4

      Rachael Honey post the updated one, and I’ll make you a video.

    • @kimmry9406
      @kimmry9406 6 років тому

      Its still rlly good. Extremely fluid and fluent. I love it

  • @emmaacollinsxo
    @emmaacollinsxo 4 роки тому +6

    “From above, everything was *silent safe* ...” is it just it me or does that just not make sense

    • @Riiiii777
      @Riiiii777 3 роки тому

      Yh, but maybe he meant to add a break/comma in between silent and safe for example” From above everything was silent, safe” it still seems a little off tho

    • @millysirl3739
      @millysirl3739 3 роки тому +1

      Nah they said 'save' as in everything is silent apart from the sea

  • @misan2002
    @misan2002 6 років тому +2

    18:16 can u make a video on that?
    ps sorry for commenting so much

  • @sambarber7657
    @sambarber7657 6 років тому

    When you said the maker has made his mind up with the first paragraph does that apply for all questions?

  • @simranatwal1516
    @simranatwal1516 6 років тому

    This is so helpful!

  • @M5FTZ
    @M5FTZ 2 роки тому

    Thank goodness my doctor handwriting can be useful

  • @washx2k755
    @washx2k755 6 років тому

    This is really for personal statement for applying to uni

  • @sandramae1998
    @sandramae1998 3 роки тому

    Good morning
    How would you help students who has problems articulating themselves on paper?

  • @emmawhite9386
    @emmawhite9386 5 років тому

    I had this exact test to day, I wish I saw this video sooner 😫😂

  • @naveedkhan5045
    @naveedkhan5045 5 років тому +1

    yes mr salle very cool

  • @zakariaaitibba4872
    @zakariaaitibba4872 6 років тому +2

    Hi sir, can you talk about the use of 5 senses for question 3 paper 1

  • @felicitysmoak5514
    @felicitysmoak5514 7 років тому +1

    How many marks out of 40 would you get from the poem on the left the better one

  • @bethlewis7968
    @bethlewis7968 6 років тому +1

    In my writing I tend to do a lot of alliteration and metaphors? Can I be over doing it? I like to make my writing slightly ambiguous so it can be interpreted- would this lose me marks for a lack of clarity? I did my English language exam today and I’m worried 😂 also my description was more of a descriptive story - is this a problem?

  • @silentsoulsv3687
    @silentsoulsv3687 3 роки тому +1

    is it copying/cheating if your exam had something similar to this so you write "the darkness encapsulated the light" in your sentence even though its out here on youtube cause I may actually practice and use/make some of these into the exams?

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  3 роки тому

      borrowing phrases should be ok, but sentences would be plagiarism

    • @silentsoulsv3687
      @silentsoulsv3687 3 роки тому

      @@MrSallesTeachesEnglish so if I used the "the darkness encapsulated the light" in my mocks It would be known as plagiarism right?

  • @ellamayward1057
    @ellamayward1057 6 років тому

    hi Mr Salles, I had the idea of writing a hell description and a heaven one and I'm trying to learn them now.Do you think that's a good idea, ​in which I can interpret them into any picture?

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  6 років тому

      You could certainly prepare these. They might be applicable to the exam.

    • @naomiparsons462
      @naomiparsons462 8 місяців тому

      Yes, it's been 5 years.
      But, your idea is genius and I'm gonna do it for my mocks tysm!

  • @arcane3062
    @arcane3062 7 років тому

    What if you did half a story and half a descriptive piece of writing, could you still get many marks for that or will the examiner see that it's not matched to the question.

  • @lolajones7236
    @lolajones7236 6 років тому +4

    I’m now worried because I’ve never just written a description. I’ve always written a story..

  • @manu-du3ps
    @manu-du3ps 6 років тому +1

    That's what we are practising for our mock

  • @priya200328
    @priya200328 4 роки тому

    I'm doing Edexcel, is this similar to Aqa??

  • @naomiparsons462
    @naomiparsons462 8 місяців тому

    My problem: I write half as much I really should and try too hard.
    How do I fix it?

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  8 місяців тому

      Memorise a couple of descriptions and practise writing them at speed

  • @alij1272
    @alij1272 4 роки тому

    My question is that can you please tell me if i can use your model answers, in your guide to use them the way you use the techniques, and the way you use complex sentences? :) for paper 1 question 1-5 and also if i can use it for paper 2 :) ???

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  4 роки тому

      Spiritual and Faith Of Truth Try a practice exam paper and see if it works

    • @alij1272
      @alij1272 4 роки тому

      @@MrSallesTeachesEnglish okay and thank sir :) I was thinking of understanding all of your model answers in your guide, for both papers 1/2, and then applying them on exam papers. : And could you mark question if i comment down below my answers ..... And am every sorry for taking your time, but overall thank you for everything you do ;) ;D

  • @jeremyjade2947
    @jeremyjade2947 6 років тому +3

    Good day

  • @beatadecay_4422
    @beatadecay_4422 Рік тому +2

    "fill every crack and nanny" 💀

  • @ridita6704
    @ridita6704 7 років тому +87

    Handwriting doen't make a driffrence in your actual marks

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +82

      Not on the mark scheme, but in reality, it will influence the examiner.

    • @Sa17648
      @Sa17648 7 років тому +5

      how will it influence the examiner..please answer

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +98

      Salim A If I struggle to read your hand writing I hate you a tiny bit! If it is big and rounded, I think you are not very academic. If it is joined up, fast, not beautiful, but legible, I assume you are academic, rushing to keep up with your many ideas.

    • @FrazzledPineapple
      @FrazzledPineapple 7 років тому +8

      Mr Salles Teaches English well that comment makes me happier after my english exam😂 (thank you so much for the great vids)

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому +11

      Hope it went well!

  • @hv3079
    @hv3079 4 роки тому +2

    my handwriting is usually cursive but many times they cant read it :(

  • @veganatheist4983
    @veganatheist4983 7 років тому +6

    i gt 36/40 marks for this question(but i wrote a story)

    • @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
      @MrSallesTeachesEnglish  7 років тому

      Well done. Unless you wrote a story in the description question, in which case the examiner would mark you down.

    • @abdullahahmed3843
      @abdullahahmed3843 4 роки тому

      Vegan Atheist WOWWWWW

  • @gsyxr3822
    @gsyxr3822 7 років тому

    this was the exact paper that he had for GCSE Eglish the other day :( wish id had seen It earlier

  • @jimmyturner4909
    @jimmyturner4909 7 років тому +1

    hi thanks it really helped

  • @lovesender159
    @lovesender159 2 роки тому +1

    Trying to describe this picture now and cannot come up with any good ideas 😭

  • @commonman9644
    @commonman9644 6 років тому

    Omg FEW
    mins until my exam