On Fantasia Telling Black Women to Submit | @Jouelzy
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2019
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My commentary starts at 8:52. Since UA-cam says this video is appropriate for advertisers, support #SmartBrownGirl projects and get access to exclusive video on Patreon patreon.com/jouelzy
Jouelzy Thank you!
You're garbage
Israel Bound what a sick burnnnnn. Look at how hard you are, on UA-cam. 😂😂
He's is right though. The Man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and become one flesh. Which means When I win you win. You Lose I Lose.
What lipstick are you wearing Jouelzy?
People can have their views but, stop saying "this is why you're single.....blahblahblah"
It seems like everytime someone "discovers" a new ideal they feel the need to grab the biggest soapbox & bullhorn. Followed by _"this is why ..."!_
Like a child thinking their latest "discovery" will save everything and everyone, until they discover the next new thing.
The household should be equal . Men may abuse the power with this generation now but mostly because of the system it's made to keep the black families apart.Therefore the woman have to fend for her and family trying to provide, knowing they can do it, saying i got this. Doing what she have to do . Most married couples now try to be equal to keep the relationship strong. You have to do what you can to make it work.
Shy B they do. They just heat you better get you a “good” girl...
Thank you!
But this definitely plays a part in why many women are single. It's the not the only factor...but it's one of them.
It’s really annoying that we are always the ones who need to shift , move, bend, and break to ‘fix’ the plagues of the community. It’s always black women who are the ‘issue’.. what I’ve come to find is that there is no formula to this.. and like you said.. it says to submit to eachother ... the 60/40 rotation you mentioned is the best way I’ve seen it put. I understand generally what Fantasia was trying to say, but there was no need to make it seem like being single is a curse. Like I get what she meant when she said a lot of us are taught to be ‘strong’ and taught that vulnerability and softness is weakness.. but the men were taught the same exact thing.. men have both feminine and masculine energies.. but that does not get discussed. it’s only black women who this lesson/message seems to be curated for. Most people have been in relationships all of their lives and don’t even know themselves. Yes we were built for companionship, but being single is not always the worst thing in the world.. nor is a relationship the only form of companionship... But hey.. w/e.
respect is earned and not automatic
Companionship is also not exclusive to romantic relationships
Lauren yes, I agree. I said this in the comment
I totally agree with everything you said. It's tiring that it's always on black women to 'fix' themselves, their relationship, the community while men just have to ... Exist? They're just natural leaders and we're natural followers and even if they're terrible leaders it's somehow our fault. I don't accept it.
There are so many women who ey into these relationships only to end up financially abused. I knew a woman who married a man 15 years her senior that she met in church. He had her pregnant a week after the wedding. 3 years later, she had 3 kids, had to drop out of school, had to get an allowance from him because she didn't work.
Paul Hogue so she said ‘rotating 60/40’ meaning if My husband is good at finances he is handling that 60% if I’m good at making business deals, I’m handling that 60%. If he’s good at cooking, he’s handling that 60%. If I’m good at planning holidays and family outings, I’m handling that 60%... but that doesn’t mean the other person is not responsible for their 40% in each scenario. It’s rotating.
The word “submit” is thrown around to loosely with the wrong definition tied to it.
Channel Lyn Sims bloop!!!!!! Agreed!
Exactly!! I was trying to inform people about that under another video about this topic and people were like, yeah we just gonna keep calling it submission anyway...smh
I think they know what the definition is. They are just trying to sugarcoat the reality of submission to other people to avoid judgement or criticism
just like every other word. for example "hypergamy" 🤦♀️ i miss the days before people started changing definitions for their benefit and when people would use words correctly. *sigh*
💯💯💯💯💯
It's sad that black men don't get this same talk that black women get. I don't see shows about black men telling other black men what to do in order to keep a woman let along a black woman, but it's always black men and women telling black women what they have to do to keep a black man. Black men needs to get black men together and tell themselves instead of black women.
There are black men here on UA-cam and elsewhere talking to other black men, whether people want to listen to them is another topic. Most have a Christian ideology which many refuse to subscribe to so...
The ones I have seen do that are often met with comments like, "he's pandering for pussy" or "he a simp" etc. Usually the only audience they have are black women. But there are some out there. If we look at it, its really put off on women to FIRST do something and THEN men would do this or that. It's such a backwards thing considering we are taught that men should lead but we first have to do something for them to do something. It's crazy.
woooo chile, TELL IT! TRUTH
Any black man that tells black men not to cheat or beat on women gets called a simp.
@@kaydreams6051 That's the most ignorant shit I've read on UA-cam in awhile. It's really difficult taking you women seriously.
Maybe it is because I grew up with Island (Jamaican dad/Haitian mom), but - these conversations about who does what never came up. BOTH of my parents work full time in the government , and BOTH cooked, cleaned, reared me and my brother and were happily married until my mothers passing. My dad is a MAN and my mom never gave me or my brothers a talk about specifics. I was also not raised too religious. Baptized Catholic as most Haitians are, never did I take on too much. Went to an HBCU ( FAMU) and there is when I really stopped with the religion stuff. I don't like society telling me how I should be as a Black woman or how I should act in my relationships. Thank you for this conversation and I hope everyone remains respectful in the comments.
Rattlers in the house 🐍🐍🐍
🇭🇹🙌🏽
same sis preach
💯💯💯💯
Ur parents are amazing! Rip to ur mom
My mother was a housewife longer than she was ever employed. My dad was always the breadwinner, but my mom handled the finances. My dad never made decisions without speaking to my mom first. I understand the submission in terms of the Bible, but it’s not really applicable to today. Especially when there are more black women out earning black men. If I’m paying the bills, I’m not submitting to anyone but my mortgage and utility companies.
dcbabe21 😂🤣😂
Single?
So only if a man out earns the woman in a relationship should he be respected and allowed to be the head of the family' if she earns more she is the man of the house, the head; the leader' There in lies the problem with modern women' and why MOST of the time they are the problem with black relationships and family. You've allowed Beyonce to brainwash y'all into believing you don't need a man, independent women. who run the world GIRLS, while she at home submitting to Jayz
I think you should stay that way too😂
The whole "your single because you don't think like me and act like this" rhetoric is what turned me off to the convo.
when the man and woman have conflicting ideas as to what action to take, who's opinion should be followed?
@@rangariraikunedzimwe2780 they should follow their own opinions because they're not children they can follow themselves.
@@rayejohnson992 Smart woman I like u
"Partnership" is not a dirty word. Most people who have explained what submission looks like have mostly described a form of partnership. I also think a lot of folks are being disingenuous about the way submission is actually taught. The way the church teaches submission is literally a hierarchy. The woman is seen as submitting to a superior force- the man-because supposedly said so. A lot of churches teach that the man gets the final say on everything in the household. He is always the tiebreaker when there is a disagreement. He is solely responsible for casting the vision for the family and yes this is after taking the women's perspective into account.
👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Thank you.
Honestly, everyone seems to be defining submission differently from the next person. And the version lauded and taught to us by society, the church, even family is simply about a potentially toxic chain of command, which doesn’t benefit most women.
That is why I as a man never use the word "submit." First, I don't need submission.... cooperation is what is needed.
Not to mention, all the studies and papers written on the subject show that Black men are the most progressive and open minded men in America when it comes to gender roles.... and even that doesn't seem to be enough. It's as if Black women want egalitarianism right until something goes wrong, then they want patriarchy. Either way everyone is entitled to their opinion and relationship style.
@@MrZBlackneffect First, I'm glad that you understand the difference b/t submit and cooperation/compromise. Now about black men as a whole being the most progressive and open minded, I would have to say please submit your findings. The black community is heavily conservative and religious when it comes to social issues, so I find it hard to see the two correlating as you have mentioned. But I would like to say that you do have a slight point with the black women comment, which is way I think there is so much confusion with this. Too many black women don't want to say they want feminism (aka egalitarianism) but expect to have it AND somehow have a traditional "big strong man" that protects and provides for them in which they "submit" to. Like the two are VERY much mutually exclusive. You can not claim you are for traditionalism BUT want to keep progressive values ...like what?? Either you "submit" in the true sense of the word or you are for equality in a relationship, you can't be both.
You know, none of this would have been a discussion had she not added the “that’s why black women are single because of A, B, C...full stop Fanny. 🤚🏾
Some women actually like their own company. As an only child, I enjoy being alone more than most people. My world does stop because I’m not in a relationship, or married. Too many couples want to turn to single women and explain (as if they know most people in the world, but I digress 🙄) why WE need to do something to get a man. Men don’t make my, and some others, world go round. But, in her case it seems it does. It’s like she got herself together to be suitable for another man and not because home girl needed to do better, anyway. He had to *convince* her to get a prenup despite the past financial trouble she’s been in, which tells me she didn’t learn much.
If you ask me she’s done too much “submitting” which is why we’re here at this point, today. She can do her thing, but I would appreciate if she left us single people out of it. Uhhhkayy! ☺️
🙌🏿👏🏿
Yes!!!!! I wish Fantasia the best, but people like her can leave us single women alone. Not everyone wants what you have.
You better talk THIS talk honey. I have no fear of "dying alone" the way people try to make women feel. That's not scary at all. My perspective is whether I have a man or not I still experience my damn death ALONE. How that's scary to others is beyond my comprehension. Also many people die single every day, are we to believe that none of those people were actually happy with their lives? The ONLY way to be happy is to be tied to a romantic partner? I find that extremely sad. Plus males die single all the time, were they all sad as hell or that's only women? That's convenient.
Ahhh TRUTH! lol
Did she say black women or most women? Cause I hear most women. It's funny how people hear what they want to hear instead of what was actually said. and sometimes God will bring people in your life to help you grow be it friends, family, co-works, or a spouse, no one can make it in this life alone.
Fantasias husbands argument is premised on the belief that the husband is always much smarter, more knowledgeable, better educated than the wife. In situations where that’s the case that’s wonderful. But the underlying idea that this should always be the case is unrealistic and hurts both women and men. This is why in the past, women were denied access to formal education and employment opportunities outside of the home. They didn’t want an imbalance in that structure where men are always the smartest. He seems like a reasonable guy but his ideology (especially considering he thinks this should apply to all households) is dangerous.
ToyosiFawehinmi No, he made it clear very ( no underline message)that this only works if the man summits to God first, because God is the one that will show him how to lead his family in a Godly way. He said that several times in the clip.
@@ryanelee That is also not realistic, even from a Christian standpoint. If your wife happens to be an investment banker or financial advisor do you really think it make sense to just "submit" all financial decisions to the husband whom has NO economic background JUST because he's the man?
Shan G
Thank you sis!
I think Fantasia and her husband just described is COMPROMISE. Clearly Fantasia trusts her husband. I think men and women really could balance each other out if they put their egos to the side.
Shan G See that’s the problem you thinking about money. God is concern about your heart and you being obedient to Him. He don’t care about who makes more money. He is commanding that the family unit be this way for a reason.
This is the whole scripture that Joelzy mentioned in the video take note of what kind of husband God is commanding wives to submit to and who the Husband is to submit to.
Ephesians 5:21-33 (NLT): Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
"Men have abused that power--erm, um--gift!"
@@kevinc3342 Nigga what? So...You just want us to raise y'all. Got it.🤣🤣🤣
@@kevinc3342 The fuck? Huh?
"What has happened is, men have abused that POWER.....forgive me....abused that gift." I.DIEDDDDDDDDD. 😂😂😂
I don’t think male dominance is really my cup of tea, sorry to this man
Gabrielle Banks 😂🤣🤣 sorry to this man
Gabrielle Banks It’s not dominance but leadership but ok Sis to each its own. I guess God’s way isn’t good enough for you.
Angel Eyes33 Stop using God's name to pressure people. The person can still believe in God and not 'submit' to their husbands.
And since that mindset has taken hold in our community. It's been in disarray. Matriarchy has failed look around!
QueenHandong no u cant. Natural balance is gods structure. Its nature.
Submission: Noun. 1. the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force, or to the will or authority of another person. Example: "They were forced into submission."
I honestly want to know what interest any man or woman has in the role of a slaveholder/oppressor or authoritarian to be present in their marriage? You can not make submit mean something else. There is a negative connotation when you take the Highest Power/God/Yah out of the situation. Even from a christian perspective, you should only be submitting to God so what the hell are yall so obsessed over? Words mean things and verbiage does matter.
THANNNNK YOOOOOU
PREACH! Thank you!! People are driving me crazy with just plain ole self-indulged ignorance.
@@neoagegirlthemaverick7468 It's very weird to me that some men wouldn't want collaboration and the women are so eager to have someone "lead them." Where are yall going exactly? Paying bills is not leadership, it's responsibility. Men and woman should come to a relationship whole. Divorces and circumstances happen everyday, so basic life skills should be active whether you're married or single imo.
@@PbyCj A lot of you misinterpret scripture the same way you're misdefining the word submit. I trust the common sense and critical thinking that God gave me in order to decipher real text from programming.
@@morena1484 Exactly, this traditional and archaic way of thinking about relationships, doesn't have any true benefit for anyone if you really stop and think about. Plus the way Fanny and her boo put it, it sounds like they are just re-interpreting the bible how they see fit, to fit in with modern views of a relationship, because how can a woman "submit" to the man but not have control of her...literally makes no sense. Sounds more like they are advocating for a communicative and respectful partnership versus submission, although the whole a woman follows her man's example and HE teaches HER by his actions biz was a little too much for me. Like a grown woman is not a kid, a wife is not the kid of her husband, but w/e
As a single mother I completely agree that all the ills of the black community are blamed on us, yet there has been absolutely no responsibility put on black men. As a Christian I believe that people who love each other submit to each other out of mutual love and respect. Submission was never meant to equal self imposed mindless slavery. THE LIES!!!
Agreed!
man you cant be reading the word lol
@@dazdilinger6404 they act like we haven't heard about how trash we are for the past 20 years
Y'all pick the drug dealers and gang bangers then complain 😂😂😂
The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most
unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected
person in America is the black woman.................Malcolm X.
damsel In a dress - as far as I’m concerned this and one other comment in the comments section is the only one worth reading. Thanks.
And Black women play a part in that statement.
damsel In a dress You’ll accept Malcolm’s word but not God’s word...ok
Angel Eyes33 got em!😂
Damsel in a dress so true, but can you believe blk men are saying the same thing, because they fill up the most of the prisons.
Didn't she go broke submitting to a married man? I can't follow advice from her. Her love life don't got the shine I'm after.
:(
Jouelzy is coming through with the videos this week, yasss!!! As an "Influencer" or "Celebrity" whatever you want to call her, she needs to be mindful of the messages that she prematurely promotes. Their argument doesn't make sense to me. Would you get financial advice from a financial advisor that just filed Bankruptcy?? Probably not, so why would anyone in their right mind take career/money advice from a partner that making less than you? You're the breadwinner, sis. You should be helping him elevate his current financial position not the other way around.
@Donald Allen Let's just pray that she doesn't get a book deal giving relationship advice lol UA-cam is filled with horrible advice and it's not just from Black people. If I see another video about how you can "get rich" selling online courses, I'm going to lose it.
I want my relationships to be a partnership where we compromise and not me constantly having to “submit” to someone. We are both adults i don’t understand why I need a leader
Same !!! 🤦🏾♀️
Submission is not the same as obedience. It’s not about power dynamics within a marriage. It’s about respecting and loving one another with the goal of unity. The Bible says husbands and wives should submit to one another, husbands should respectfully love their wives, wives should lovingly respect their husbands. The head and body analogy used in the Bible infers that marriage is a partnership where husbands and wives are united in their decision makings, not that the man will “lead the household” in the modern cultural sense. We can’t have this conversation without clarifying what submission actually means. That’s where Fantasia went wrong: she doesn’t explain what it is, how it works, and she blamed black women for being single. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Also we shouldn’t even consider partnering with broke, dysfunctional men anyways or men who don’t share our values.
You said it the best💯
She was just naming one of the reasons why black women are single, and its true. The last to get married and the first to be divorced is the black women. Can you name anything else of why this is happening beside the fact that we are black.
Rina Relax by black men, not interracially why cuz?
ABEG. No couple will stress me out with their nonsense today
🤣🤣🤣
I don't like when people tell my sisters to submit in order to find a man and therefore be happy. it annoys the F out of me.
First of all it is kinda stupid because it (again) sells this idea that the key to happiness lies in the hands of someone else but you.
Second, i just get irritated when people get condescending and preachy and start telling you why supposedly your life is a mess
Thirdly, If we universally accepted the idea that we had to submit and give up our power to be able to be loved and accepted, a lot of communities ld stil be enslaved today.
Period.
landry fogaing Of course we have to give up power to be loved and accepted. You can’t just do anything you want without consequence. If we understood that, we wouldn’t have so many of our people in prison and born into broken relationships.
@@asho345 waouw i m really sorry that you think you have to give up your power to be loved and accepted. And i disagree and hope you ll change your mind. I am also a bit confused by your argument i must say. Communities end op in prison precisely because they have given up on their power. They have given up on themselves. They have given op on their own value. The system has convinced them that they are not worth better than the scraps they are given. I guess they are indeed "accepted", but only as prisoners.
I don't equate "not giving your power" to "doing anything you want". I feel like that is what you seem to take away from my commentary. Not giving your power means standing your ground because you are in touch with who you are. It is like a tree with a network of roots. The tree will be shaken, bend by the powerful wind, be will stay up and ultimately will give fruits that are not "born into broken" trees. I'm using your formula here. If the tree gives up his roots, his power, he ultimately dies. That is precisely how communities and families die.
landry fogaing Nope. People aren’t in prison because they gave up on themselves. They are in prison because they did not choose to submit to the laws of our society thinking they’re above it. The “system” convinced black people that we can do whatever we want and society should accept us just the way we are because of what we’ve been through. And so our communities lack moral codes because we see any type of code or law as oppressive. Submission isn’t oppressive, it’s something that naturally happens when someone feels safe enough to let their guard down and be vulnerable. That goes for men and women.
@@asho345 Are we living in the same world ? because last time i checked the system was not built to accomodate black people as you seem to think, but white people. The education system, the economy, the housing, the financial world, technology, etc.. The proof is in the poeding. black people cannot do whatever they want.
The codes are not considered oprressive by people of color because they bring morality to their supposedly otherwise ammoral lives. I actually can't believe you use this argument. it is basically the same argument the european colonizer used to colonise african people. Bringing morality and civilisation to the savages.
they are considered oppressive because they participate in maintaining the oppression of groups of people.
Are you trolling me lady ?
landry fogaing thank you! 😊
And for the heathens...💀💀💀 😂.
It's very frustrating do see patriarchy and mysogyny given power with the backing of the Bible. It makes it so difficult to explain and help people understand what role religion played in the systems of oppression and how to untether ourselves and still have a personal relationship with God.
This comment is underrated. Thank You. You can't take a tool that was used to break you, and try and mend yourself with it. These holy books and religions are interrupting healthy relationships with God/Allah/The Universe, and our confidence to learn and think freely. You can't rely on a weapon of mass destruction to fix you.
@@steviesosa5617 please let me clarify, I do believe in the holy books, what I don't condone is a religious leader using the eg bible to push and support a set of oppressive ideologies and cultural norms to help keep a group of people in power and uphold a man made social structure that has nothing to do with the Bible. If you go to church and hear a preaching you can't just stop there, you need to critically think and go study the word for yourself, hence the personal relationship with God. what does this mean, did what the preacher say really align with the what I believe in and what God has said? then ask questions if it doesn't. To many people just follow without critical thinking and accept a preacher because they must have been chosen by God.
Eg. That woman who said she would let this interracial couple use her venue for their wedding over her religious beliefs. What?! The Bible is filled with interracial marriages! But she's able to justify her racism because of something she has heard in her religion. Anything that is oppressive to a group of people and is being backed by the Bible should be challenged. God is not that
The more they explain what they mean the crazier it sounds to me. Wasn’t raised in a formal religion and this is why. My mom never bought into this. She warned us kids (boys and girl) to never submit to anyone. Especially one insisting that you submit outta love or duty to a religious idea because submission is turning your opinion, POV, feelings, preferences, desires into something someone else can judge and squash. Big nope. Didn’t we just see white folks admitting they made an alternate bible to keep slaves docile? How can we not pull back to a larger picture of the larger populations manipulation through strategic editing of this grouping of books. Nah, nope, no
Where is this info about an admitting to an alternate bible?
🙏🏾💯
I couldn't have articulated this argument on submission any better. I was with a guy who wanted me to "let him be the man", or, "let me mold you into the woman you need to be". translation, "let me tell you how I want you to live your life, give up autonomy and free will and have my kids when I tell you..." and so on. I'm so glad he left me. Fantasia's beliefs and relationship "advice" is definitely not for everyone. I've worked to hard, endured too much, and sacrificed a lot of time to get mine because I was not waiting on anyone to give it to me. And if a man feels as though I should just give-up control of everything I've worked for because he's a man, well then, I'll just be single.
They go even further to say that women have to lose control in sex to become powerful, this mean, accept abusive sex.
The good sis is being scammed...again! God bless her little heart
Damn. Didn't think of that :(
Thembeka Lembethe she is! I know a con artist when I see one...😪
Exactly. She didn't talk like this before she was with him, so who do you think implanted these ideas about "submission" into her head?
Fantasia and her ex felon accountant-I mean husband need to stop. Sis has a terrible track record with dating and is now a settling breadwinner who somehow has the agency to give advice? No thanks.
And most black women went through as much as she did. What works for her may not work for you.
I wonder why she's not talking about the fact that 1 of the main reasons she is married is that she can afford to keep her husband comfortably. Is it really submission when you're the breadwinner?
Sis can feel how she feels, but DO NOT open your mouth to tell women "this is why we don't have what you have". Now if you want to get technical!! We can throw out some statistics & academic studies as to WHY Black women are single & least likely to marry, and it definitely has nothing to do with us, but the flaws & flawed ideologies of some men. And what bothers me is that this is the type of rhetoric that fuels those ideologies in men who are not fit to lead & protect, but feel like they do, simply because they are born men. Chile....making me type run on sentences
Tammy Ammy Both is why women are single. It’s a never ending cycle.
Thank you, people need to stop, with this black women's problems ( that are usually not caused by us) will be solved by who we date/"submit" to or how much they make, it is way more complex then that.
What you're saying is factually inaccurate. The number one reason for divorce in America is financially related issues and women file for 70% of divorces.... and also, Only 26% of poor Americans are married regardless of their race. Black people are largely a poor and working class people sooooo..... that's why we in the Black community are not getting married.
It's not a character flaw in Black men or a "flawed ideology in men" like your gender warring, ahistorical, non-factual comments suggests.
Do you understand what you're saying?
@@MrZBlackneffect Although being poor is a main factor in marriage rates , that doesn't make her statement non-factual. Black women, on top of like you stated being some of the highest ratios of people to be in poverty are viewed as the least desirable of all the races of women both of which I don't see how that is directly the fault of black women as she said. I believe her ideology part stems from the fact that as women and as black women there are many factors stacked against us, that is contributing to us being "single" and no one issue is the dominant contributor but it would be non-factual to say that it IS the fault of black women as to why we are majority "single b/c then that would be saying that it is our fault that we as a race are poor, that we as women choose to be seen as less desirable, even by men of our own race, or that the majority of black men that do get married, marry outside of their race...so I wouldn't say that her view is inaccurate.
@@neoagegirlthemaverick7468 I never knew BLACK women were the least desirable women...until I came to the internet and people like you keep repeating it giving this nonsense power(especially if youre a black woman yourself...in other words...SHUT UP). I think many Black women are unmarried,if they want to be, because they waste their time with Black men, have oow children too young, segregate themselves in blackmess/ness, etc.
Submit , cant do it, I would rather love myself a man is a want not a need.
For the Christians, for the Habibis and for the Heathens.... 🤣🤣🤦🏿♀️dead
I love Fanny, I truly do. But she truly messed up by using one of THEE absolute worst trigger lines for a black woman: “this is why you’re single.” Sooooooome of us are truly single on purpose. Soooooome of us may be in a “waiting season” with our relationship with God. She could have made any point she wanted to and it be viewed as “subjective” by most, but you can’t use the very language some of us are fighting against to “give advice.”
As a black woman raised by a black Woman with black women friends, some of the convos we have amongst each other is out of confusion. Like “who are these ppl talking to? We’re not bitter or mad that we’re not boo’d up (well, some of us aren’t booed up 😏).” Ppl need to start asking black women about black women before giving advice. We might not want OR need it!
Marian Drayton She said why “most” women are single, not “all”.
misslee1203 Understandable, with that being said, in my comment I never said she stated all. And with all due respect, saying that most women are single still doesn’t negate the fact that unless she spoke with most women, particularly black women, how would she know? Census statistics mainly show married, divorced, or unmarried, I’ve personally never seen it ask in a relationship. Furthermore, what if ‘most’ women are single by choice? She wasn’t wrong for stating her opinion, she was wrong for feeding into the “this is why y’all single” narrative.
Then, these men aren't even concerned about the black woman in general. They should be saying submit yourself to a higher power whatever that may be. Trust me black women are single cause we ain't on no pick me shit cause trust so same dudes be the main ones blowing up the line asking wyd.
@Marian Drayton Well you started listing other reasons as though she said all, Do you really believe that most women are single by choice? Let's be honest and look at this as a whole and not just based on the women that are commenting? I don't really do statistics because you can always find a group of random statistics to support whatever argument you are trying to make. I base my opinion on what I encounter often when talking to women from church to my job to my family to my friends to what I see on tv or social media. Women want to be in a relationship and so do men. Go to a bookstore and as how many books they sell a year on "How to get a man books" I bet it's million. Besides men and women were created to be in relationships, that why they feel the need to be in one.
@@ryanelee yes, i do believe that most single black women choose to be single. The pickings are slim and it just gets to the point where it be like i can do bad all by myself and not have anyone to answer to about shit. I can do whoever I want whenever I want and wherever I want. Its like playing craps and sometimes there are dry spells but being single takes strength.
As women, most of us were raised by Mother's who worked while raising children and running a household and we drew strength from that. We saw how the world treated our Mother's and then us when we got old enough to experience when shit gets real ans we learned that no one is coming to save us and that we have to save ourselves.
I do wonder, has this internet/social media era we're in now hold the highest record of single black women in the history of the United States.
Where did the disconnect actually occur?
How can she submit when she is the breadwinner? That isn’t a traditional relationship. Who wants a man like hers anyways, I’m not American but he has done time for domestic violence. A single mother should not bring a man like that into her children’s lives and submit to him.
A man has got to give you something to “submit” to. She’s the main breadwinner, so, she’s leading from the back?
I want to challenge the believers in here to think critically about the text. Why are we clinging so hard to a "relationship model" that was created when women were literally property. Marriage wasn't based on love but passing down wealth to families. Why are we taking dating advice from a man - Paul- who literally said "I wish everybody was single. They got more time to do the Lord's work, but since y'all want to be married here's MY best advice. Not God's?" A lot of the stuff Paul said was to keep Christians safe during persecution. He wanted a sense of order to keep people safe. This wasn't necessarily a mandate that says "this is what God said to do.'
Also, a lot of people like to use the creation story to back their beliefs on submission. First of all which story are we referencing? The one in Genesis 1 or Genesis 2? Those are two different versions. The first of which you clearly see the man and woman having equal value. Even in the second version both Adam and Eve got the same command. There was no submission. They were co-agents. The whole "the woman will try to rule over her husband" after the fall was seen as a curse. That wasn't how things were supposed to be. If that's the case why are so insistent on creating these hierarchies in our relationship via submission?
Never thought of it that way but I think I got my answer. As a Christian women this has been a challenge cz never made sense especially cz I don't think men deserve all of that.
YES to this! The Bible also co-signs slavery. Does that mean these black folks out here think what happened in this country hundreds of years ago was OK and should be continued today?
"Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ." Ephesians 6:5
"You may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way." Leviticus 25:44-46
It also says the penalty for being a rebellious child to be stoned to death. Do we think this is acceptable today?
"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die." Deuteronomy 21:18-21
@@brandyandcream2 Notice that every passage on submission has "slaves obey your masters" after speaking of husband and wife. Now granted slavery back then wasn't like chattel slavery but this backs up my original point. Christians need to understand things in the proper context. You cannot apply things literally in every circumstance because the world has changed. (Biblical literalism has serious loopholes but that's another story.) It's our job to understand the moral principles behind the text in order to properly apply it to today.
Thank you for this, I studied both the Christian text and Buddhist text in college along with anthropology and sociology and I you posed this perfectly. People like to be cognitively dissonant when it benefits them and defensive and mildly delusional when it doesn't. Even when taking the perspective of religion out of this "submitting" to another is to give away your authority/agency, why would anyone want that in a relationship in of itself (outside of raising kids) I do not know, and then even with the religious perspective taken in, it STILL doesn't make sense for the reasons you pointed out.
Girl, tell the truth and shame the devil. I tell this to everyone who asks me why I don't believe in marriage. It was never ever meant for love or companionship. It was to ensure that wealth was able to be passed down through a genetic heir, and have the legal backing to protect this succession. If people don't believe that, then why was it always a stipulation that the woman be young and virginal, but the men could be old and wealthy? Why was it always accepted for men to have extramarital affairs, but women had to stay chaste? Had to protect that investment. You feeding and clothing someone, you want to make sure what you're buying is the real deal.
I really appreciate Our First Lady Michelle Obama narrative on a healthy marriage-that a marriage relationship is a partnership/team and both partners must be strong. The submissive rhetoric is toxic to black women.
As a black woman, black men have just become so disappointing and I find zero benefit in marrying them . They now cry about 50/50 , their mothers ruined them to the point they can’t boil hot dog water , you believe in them after pointless roi and then they end up with another type of woman that ain’t you if you know what I mean . I’m done with the idealism of “do it for the culture”. Are they doing it for the culture when they make me feel invisible as a dark skin black woman ? I’m in the season of returning the same energy so right now other cultures of men are noticing my beauty, light & zen full of energy prosperity in all areas of life vibe . Our black men don’t show up for us and I’m no longer bothered by their choices so I’m just following their lead in that sense . Black on black taught me the most about colorism bc other cultures celebrate my blackness it’s my own culture who separates me the worse just bc of my skin complexion. Ain’t nobody submitting to that ever ! I’m smarter , I make money and I have my own everything if a man isn’t adding to that , I’m not submitting to him for shit ! Provide and protect are their jobs and they suck to non existent in that area . On top of sucking in the financial department they have the nerve to be damaged goods lacking emotional connection and or stability but have no issues expressing how they want to be fuck buddies but can’t take it concerning matters of a woman’s heart . That’s insane ! If you doing it for the culture , get on some meds bc you will need it with all the head and heartwork it takes to represent bare minimum!
hopeinajar77 Dang shame how u generalize all brothas! She was living in her own little world thinking she's a good girl!
True. How do you submit or even want partnerships with men who have abandoned you and your children to fend for themselves for generations now. Males who have a genre of music calling the women in their 'race' bitches and hoes and thots and etc etc. How do you find @ blacklove with colorists. Why are black men a consideration or the only consideration for Black women for relationships at this point. Im baffled by Black women.
@@jamescobb5709 but so manynof you are like this.shes not generalizing if so many Black women, all over the world, mind you is having this experience.
lisangel Black Thank you . The low vibrations and need for anything but falling on their swords taking responsibility and willing to be better is just to complicated for their fragile egos as demonstrated . They prove us right every time . It’s pointless and so is the majority of their existence especially such a time as this ! The prophecy speaks of a time when woman will be attacked . We see this playing out now . We have all these fem men competing for our spots !
Kevin C You must listen to that “hit the wall fool” ! Your comment is a joke and you know nothing about me (your comment hopefully helps all of our sisters out here dodge one less bullet in ALL of our encounters after reading your ignorant / limited , lacking substance response we all should overstand from this exercise a protector you are absolutely not among other things you lack !!!You are not even qualified truly to respond to this comment, but here you are ). I’m nothing like your description nor am I emotional so it’s funny ( with your Trump tactics , we see where he is now.) , your lack luster word choice reads from a script ( that we already know ) ! You are extremely , well never mind you aren’t worth the read at all 2.0 and I’m contextual vs explaining myself to a fem male ( I’m sticking to your foolish response the rest #itsabovemenow ) . You struggle with vocabulary clearly so you think “I’m bitter” when my comment was merely a opportunity for you as a simple black man (since we name calling) to take accountability and bridge opportunity but no sir you had to be in your fem feelings attempting bait ! Your response is why we as women need to continue on the journey of what my original comment stated ! Heal your fem heart and go tell the others that think like you to not worry because your kind isn’t on our radar (the message wasn’t for your kind , it was about your kind) ! It’s always one loud grown boy in the bunch, we can depend on and here he is ! You matter and you are necessary ! Besides just for minimum organ donation, in this life we need people like you to keep us sharp !
My first and last response to you wasn’t draining but you have really low frequency so continued communication could possibly cause well nothing because you are just a host being keep in the numbers for body parts !
Love and light hun.
**This PSA is only a test for the emergency 🚨 broadcast system, it is only a silly test**
Omg I been waiting for your video. All my favorite UA-camrs reacted to this but you. Finally it’s here ! Now while what her husband said was right it sounds like he is all talk and a lot of these men are all talk. If a man wants a woman to SUBMIT to him, he need to be her PROVIDER and her PROTECTER. He needs to GIVE her something to SUBMIT to. You can’t ask women for traditional husband and wives roles when you yourself are NOT the traditional husband ! We can’t work together when one person is NOT playing their part ! PERIOD !
TheLeah2344 yea I was getting that feeling too watching him speak lol he saying the right things but is he actually putting it to practice
Why are you so skeptical of a man you don’t know? He’s saying the right things but I don’t believe him. Does that say a lot about you or him. Are black men not worth being submissive to?
@@ryanelee Many are not worth being submitted to. Which is the problem with this advice. The folks that give it don't even explain the type of man to submit to or what submission even looks like. Placing gender above integrity and other character traits have always screwed us over.
Briana Oliver Fantasia husband explained it perfectly and women will still ignore it because they can’t get pass the word submit. They are coming from a Christian worldview and that’s what Fantasia should have made clear. And it is not place anyone above the other. People don’t say this about their bosses and they submit to them everyday. Why? Because they are the leader. There is a difference between being a leader and a dictator.
Briana Oliver
The Bible also make it very clear as well.
Ephesians 5:21-33 (NLT): Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I think it’s wild to be a believer and fix your lips to say “that’s why y’all single” as if God’s timing isn’t a factor all of a sudden...
Regardless, if someone is happy with their life and ain’t hurtin anybody, then who is she, we, or anyone else to speak on it?! Submission is a tricky word with so many different connotation that I think it elicits such a visceral response that people can’t hear anything beyond it.
I think what she said was a word for someone and your response is more than valid. Idk, Jouelzy, I’m Switzerland on this one! 😂
My husband is absolutely not head of the household. We both are lead and I do not summit. I've been with my husband longer than she has been with hers and I will tell you a man that wants a woman to summit is a weak individual. I'm not gonna stop being myself to seem more appealing to get a man. Foh
I can't take any relationship advices based on sexism, patriarchy and heteronormativity
Same which is why I don't wanna stay Christian
I think because of Fantasia’s background, we don’t trust her. What her husband said would be a good mentor ship to young men. But I don’t want to hear anything from Fantasia, about a relationships. I do not appreciate her talking down to black women. All men are not Kings, just as all women are not Queens.
💯
If you want to be the boss you have to pay the cost. Why do celebrities try to reinforce patriarchy all of the time. Fantasia works so according to them she's masculine because she provides. I'm done with all the blame. No one wants to pay my bills in a healthy way.
There is NO amount you can pay to be the "boss," of me; although I was a little more humble toward my husband when I was in-between jobs; oh and also technically my employer pays me to be the boss over me, lol.
@ you have to pay the cost in terms of financially and emotionally to be a leader. That's in any situation. At work, we all have to submit to rules and guidelines. If someone wants to run everything they have to go through the fire. It's easier to actually cooperate and build with people instead of trying to run everything.
@@Candyb8 I respect that. I have no problem getting along and doing my job; I just don't like abusive and dyfunctional bosses and workplaces AND relationships, but oh well, they exist.
@ exactly. I'm the same way.
@ "although I was a little more humble with my husband when I was in-between jobs"..... exactly. The numbers show this to be true also. The number one reason for divorce in America is financially related issues and women file for 70% of divorces. Also only 26% of poor people in America are married regardless of their race and Black people are largely a poor and working class people.
"Little more humble" lol.... have you ever considered that, that is the women you would have been if your husband was making something like $250,000 a year?
The more I hear the clip of the two of them speaking, mainly Fantasia, the more she sounds like she *IS* lowing her own self worth. Ugh no thanks.
She is not...
@@rinarelax9978 ... I did not ask a question.
@@NONPOINT420 and it doesn't sound like she is lowering herself worth, what works for her, may not work for you.
A lot of the women in the comments must have skipped to 9:34 and missed the male perspective and how they both broke down what submission really is! It really is about partnership and submitting to each other. It’s not about religion or black men telling black women what to do.
Right on💯
I don’t want to summit. I love my partnership. There’s different kinds to dynamics that should be respected but this just odd how we as women have to all to always summit.
I agree with EVERYTHING you said. I don't even need to post what I've been posting in other comment sections because you are one of the few UA-camrs that gets it and so do your subscribers. Nice to know I'm not alone! I was getting scared watching women tell other women that they are inferior to men because the Bible says so.
I agree with both fantasia, her husband and jouelzy. Black women need to learn how to let the man lead and submit but their will be times where the women will lead as well. Also I do agree that dating advice is always admitted at black women and not black men. Black men needs advice desperately because they dont know how to lead, dont let their women in emotionally, black men can be colorist and racist to their own women, arent stable when it comes to money, and a lot more. This needs to be pointed out wayyy more. I like how her husband pointed out black men's flaw when it comes to leadership.
He did a good job at clearing up her interview which was reduced to a small clip through the media.
Fantasia husband actually talked about this...I think what people didnt get was fantasia was speaking on black woman..which is herself...but at the same time teaching. When he husband spoke he give the changes that a black men need to do.
if you want to know what pick me -ism is? Its Fantasia's comments. It cant just be "I submit to my husband and hes the head and thats what works for me and MY household" its "this why yall can get a man because you not submitting like i am" sick and tired of people especially black women telling other black women that they need to "back down" or water down themselves for men. Also "this is why you cant get a man" is not an insult if you dont have your self worth revolved around male attention... js
anything that starts with the reason why black women can't get a man .. I dont want to hear
The idea that every woman is actively seeking one is where they mess up. There are hella single black males our here but I guess that's because they all WANT to be because women are this or that. It only works one way apparently because if we're single then it's due to NOBODY wanting us. Not a single one of us can scare up a man when we're single. 😂 Like damn that's really what folks came up with.
Quality over quantity.any black woman can have several black men but I can guarantee they won't be quality black men
Sometimes I honestly think a majority of Black women are so comfortable and expectant of a weaker counterpart that they prefer such men to ones more suited to their success and status. The known danger and dysfunction is more comfortable than the potentially better relationship. smh.
Like, really. All the new access Ms Fantasia had, all the new circles she was mingling in, and out of all of those potentially wealthy and successful men she chose a married T-Mobile store manager. I can’t.😖🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️ I really hope this new dude is a better match for her.
kxlot79 she did not marry the T-Mobile store guy. And let’s not act that with all her access her being an identifiably southern Black woman wasn’t helping in a social class where most men partner w mixed women.
Jouelzy My comment doesn’t say she married the TMobile dude. It says she “chose” him, just like she chose this dude.
I totally respect your perspective. I simply disagree. Black women en masse set themselves up for failure with extremely limiting beliefs like being “identifiably Black” and “southern” excluding us from BETTER relationship choices.
The difference I’m making is not between some WASPy trustfund baby she rubbed elbows with at a wedding she sang at and some upwardly mobile Black millionaire- it’s literally a married retail store manager (and more recently a former felon with an unlaunched “business”) and every “single” man she has rubbed with since American Idol.
To reduce her CHOICES of partner to being Black and southern and formerly illiterate and whatever other factors color her comeup story is to say literally no men but those clearly beneath her had any interest in her. And I’m sorry but that doesn’t make any kind of statistical sense. At all.
The likelier story is that, like you (and those who agree with you) have, Ms Fantasia has bought into the narrative of her history making her *less than* and is legitimately intimidated by the unknown.
She, like you and those who agree with you, can’t fathom that a successful and wealthy man on her level could actually have genuine interest in her. The notion that a man can have his choice of women and still choose her is a lot less believable to her (and you) than the notion that the only men interested in her are beneath her. And therefore she (and many women like her) can have some false sense of security in thinking she is the best of his options, because his options appear to be more limited than hers.
Just my thoughts. Thank you for posting and opening up the dialogue about issues Black women face!🤗
kxlot79 commenting on the power dynamics, systems of oppression and hierarchy are not a personal belief that I or any Black woman is less than. You cannot dismantle a system without knowing what that system is. But okay have a great day.
@@kxlot79 Thank you.
kxlot79 she could’ve “chosen” a better man. I agree. He wasn’t her best/only option. With the money she had, even an older man with children, etc. someone who was divorced, or one who didn’t want biological children, or even a childless one... because at her age, men don’t seem to have as much of an issue when a woman has children. Women with less have gotten “more”. Yes, she’s a deeper complected woman which makes it harder when exclusively dating black men, but she is attractive and she has money. She’s not looking for a “ Daddy/provider” for her kids, that’s what usually turns men off, she can take care of that with or without a man. She had access to a higher caliber of man. She chose her husband and the kiosk manager, which is fine. I’m happy she found love, but the idea that those were her only options... I don’t buy into that.
Been married for 6 years and submission is a two way street with us too. Why does she think her marriage is for everyone? And finger wagging black women 🙄 Ok sis, could you not?
Submission is done by both men AND women. Submission by tradition is the man providing everything that home needs, being both partners. Submission is done by both partners... it is laced with respect & trust, it doesn’t have anything to do with gender. She is so delusional 🥴
The definition of submission is the following: "the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person." Is this what we're asking women to do?? I am genuinely trying to understand what submission actually looks like and on every video I've watched I've asked people to explain it to me and they never do or they give vague answers like "resting in my femininity" what does that MEAN??
It's BS, is what. Submission evokes a slave/master interaction not a husband/wife one. It's high time we realized these one size fits all cure all generalizations are not helping anybody!
@@eevaluecom That's what I'm saying! I mean who WOULDN'T look at that definition and not be okay with it?? I suspect a lot of these women out her parroting this idea of submission(but while still being a modern woman) don't even know what the word means themselves... If that dynamic works for you and yours, who am I to say boo? However, if I find a man, I'm looking for a *partner* not an authority figure that gets the final say over my life choices and actions. No thanks.
@@sandrallewellyn2632 👏👏👏 smart woman.
He needs to make sure she's good if anything ever happens to him??? Bruh she was good before you.🤦🏾♀️
Fantasia can't even spell submit. So how the hell did she look up the definition?😐 translation: she don't know what the hell she's talking about.
I can't😂😂😂😂
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Let's start from the beginning. Woman was created from a part of the man, FOR the man. God says I will make him someone from his likeness to be his HELPER. Not his leader. He then says when a man leaves his mother and father he will cleave (continually chase after) his wife. Why? It makes sense. A woman who is chased after is loved greatly not because of anything she has done, because of what God has joined him with, a woman just for him who says I know God made me for you and not for my own sefish ambitions. Here I am to serve and support your vision. Wisdom from above says this to everyone considering marraige: Ask God for a mate, He knows what you like and don't like so don't expect him to send you anything other that what you desire. He will confirm who it is in time. If you are with the wrong person right now because there is no fear of God in that person or yourself, then it's not God's fault that you are unhappy. Women if you are with the right man and you have a hard time submitting to a man who loves you, don't be surprised if he leaves you for someone who will, not because he is forcing it, its because she knows she is loved and knows she is his help mate.
The fact that people focus on the word submit and didnt really hear the message...tell me that it's a bigger issue behind this. It's funny because I just listen to kmichell interview about men not being trusting and how they hurt women..so I look at all these people that dont get it and realize women are hurt. Instead of wanting to love a man ...they want to battle.
If people would really listen to the interview and the video of the couple...fantasia husband explain how he wanted to lead his wife to protect her..alot of the things that he name was an example of protection. Fantasia used the was submitt..which was her describing a women trusting a man...trusting that her husband would lead when need to be. They both said if a man not being a man and not acting right.... then it's that women right to move herself away from him...
daisy1985 there is definitely a bigger issue because in this generation, submission is like a curse word. They were both speaking from a biblical standpoint and the message was clearly rooted in submitting to God first. If your spouse can’t do that, he can’t lead in love.
Jouelzy, Fantasia sounds just like Mo' Nique. Watch. Soon enough she's gonna be saying, "He's my manager. He's showing me the way." Downfall of your career is to get so enamoured with a man that you can't see that you're being hustled. He's hustling you, Fantasia. But do you, Sis.
When/if this marriage ends I just hope Tasia has on her submission armor when they drag her for this but to each her own. However, everyone runs their relationship different so let them, do them.
I do think Fantasia’s point in that we are taught and trained by our parents single or not that you better get an education to get a job to take care of you bc you will not be able to depend on a man for whatever reasons is valid. And I do think that makes dating and partnering a challenge for a lot of black women. Our girls are trained to be defensive and protective bc a man and the world is trying to take something from you. And that does create a “hardness” if you will.
But I’m in total agreement that blaming sisters for singleness is flawed and wrong. But even the data is misleading. We are getting married. Black men are marrying us. We are raising families successfully.
Most of us are not taught biblical principles in their entirety bc________.
And I definitely think people are looking at a former mistress turned wife of a reformed felon with a side eye but as you said growth happens and we have to allow for that even if you are in disagreement.
Well.... it's true. A woman has to protect herself against the world, because the world really would try and take everything it can from her. We as black women are not safe, and precautions must be taken. ESPECIALLY against men.
Black men are not marrying black women. Govt stats say only about 40 something % of black males are married and almost half of those, especially if they are educated and have money, choose nonblack women.
Any time a Black woman starts off saying "and that's wrong with yall Black women/females", I stop listening lol.
There was nothing wrong with what she said, she lasted this long with this relationship, why y'all bringing up her past, clearly she is learning. And yes that is why alot of black women are single because we rather be the dominant, the provider, mother, husband and wife in the relationship, then wonder why we so damn tired. We always point out what the black man is doing wrong but when the conversation comes up about ourselves WE MAD AS HELL, WE BLOCK IT OUT, and never filter out what we want for ourselves. You don't have to agree with everything she said, just take what you want and keep it movin smdh
It’s funny how women have to “earn respect”, but men are entitled to leadership and submission just off of general principle. Nahh. They gotta earn that shit. 😂
If I’m gonna give you power (or a sense of power), then I need to be confident in what you’ll do with it beforehand. People have to prove if they are trustworthy and have initiative. Black women are exactly the way they need to be in order to survive this world. You can’t let other people do your thinking for you, especially if they don’t share your interests. From my observations, if a black woman isn’t “submissive”, there’s usually a good reason. You can “let a man lead” just for them to crash your whole life and jump ship. Then, you’ll be blamed for the outcome. 😒 Be careful.
Jouelzy you look amazing i dunno if its the overall vibe or the hair or whatever but you look stunning.
But u basically just said the same thing they were explaining but without using the word submit. If everybody just removes the word submit, they would see their case in point. Replace submit with compromise and that would help people with their logic. Marriage is one unit and in order for it to be strong both parties have to submit/compromise mutually, in different and common areas, to achieve what both parties desire.
I didn't see anything wrong with what they were saying. They both made it clear that they didn't mean just submit to this man is because men should be in control of everything 🤷🏾♀️. But I also agree that there is a time for men to lead and a time for women to lead. Both having the same respect and love for one another.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Communicate well with your partner. Learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses. As a partnership, you will naturally lead in the areas you are stronger. This is how you build productively. I don’t think it’s wise to marry a man that feels he is in control of you. But a leader you should aspire to be with. Leaders are not controlling or manipulative, the encourage and guide the team to meet their mutual goal.
One issue is that any time you refer to someone as a leader, leadership = in control. Or every time someone speaks of submission, submission = surrendering autonomy. Especially since this is the type of relationships many of us have been exposed to either directly or indirectly.
Healthy partnerships in which but parties can leave their egos in order to allow the other to lead when necessary, submit to EACH OTHER’S knowledge, expertise, and wisdom, while respecting their partners autonomy and individuality is not something we see everyday.
My goodness...they almost make it sound like women can't do all of the things Fantasia's husband said to lead themselves! Not everyone is married and many women are happily single or trying to be. How do these people think single black women are surviving? Not all of our main priorities is to find a man dag. I'm alive, so imma live how I see fit. TFOH
Submission (man-to-woman and woman-to-man) won’t fully be understood in the Black community for another 50 years, in my opinion. There are too many triggers and so much emotional baggage we’re still working through as a people for us to actually stop long enough to try and assume the best in what people are saying or are trying to say. We don’t allot for that type of generosity nearly enough.
Very true!!
My hubby and I are partners in life.
Exactly! Equal partners.
This advice was intended for a Christian woman who seeks a God centered relationship where.. God is the center.. man is the head.. then woman then children. If your not seeking that nor your a Christian woman.. this does not apply. You live your relationship as you see fit either way.. it's all love. 😘
after Kendal finished speaking, I just heard your voice say "Cool Story Bro"
These days a lot of men in the closet!!! And I do not have time for these Dusty black man trying to lie and destroyed my life!!!
This right here. A lot of masculine gay/bi men use black women to "pass" and the access that affords them. They also use black women to satisfy a lack of nurturing they cant easily find in other men. It's disgusting.
See, I was brought up with the religious doctrine of what marriage is supposed to be, and its what initially turned me off as an 8 year old girl. That S word really got under my skin.
Like I don't even care but when I saw this video I got excited jsjsjsj joulzy is the goat
I think that their message is directed at certain black women who wonder why and are upset that they aren’t married or in a stable relationship. The “what was your prayer sis “ crowd, if you will. I don’t see anything wrong with telling women who are constantly laying down and making babies for men but never getting proposed to or married (the ones who are saddened and hurt by their situation) , what they should do to find a man. After all that is what THEY WANT. Now for those who don’t fall into that category , the message doesn’t apply. I think that there are different truths for different people who have different beliefs. What they said is most definitely true for a certain demographic.
I believe the message was clear...I think why other upset because they hurt and afraid.
At the end of the day, Fannie is looking hella good and as happy as I ever seen her. Eat the meat, toss the bones. If it don't apply, let the 'ish fly. Y'all getting your panties in a bunch ova nothing. Everything isn't for everybody. I'm happy to see someone happy and giving a "praise' report on their relationship. All of this back and forward ova why black women are single and why black men can't keep their member in their pants is growing like weeds in the grass.
zheahra the bones help season the meat and change the way it tastes. They also add nutrients. Do y’all actually cook 😂 That analogy is nonsensical because the messages you absorb seep in someway, somehow. Words have power. And if you hear the same messaging repeatedly without anyone challenging it you will come to believe it whether consciously or subconsciously. Throw the bones out, but the foods already cooked and if them bones are diseased welp good luck with that meat.
My commentary ain’t no back and forth anyways 🥴
our panties are bunched up because she was trying to push oppressive ideologies on EVERY woman and then tried to shame them into submission by saying "that's why y'all are single."
I agree, she seems very happy. I wish them the best.
People keep describing partnership when they speak about submission
I love me some Tasia, but most blk men don't want to lead. If they did a women would automatically let him.
I just did a video on my channel about this....i believe that the conversation about submission was long overdue, and it's time for people to speak about this objectively. Submission is not a man's right, nor is it a one way street. both sides have it skewed- the women see it as oppression, and the men who unjustly feel it's a means to get a women to obey mindlessly. Submission is needed for our relationships to work, but it is in fact a pact that must be observed by both parties. Our relationships are dying because both sides remain wrong and strong. I appreciate you shedding your points on this sis... i loved the content.
Fantasia's marriage is her own. If she desires a traditional marriage I'm all for it. Hopefully she has found peace. Marriage is an issue for the black women that desire marriage. Some guys do want submissive wives and traditional marriages. I thought feminism supported all women, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Choose a mate that best fits you and listen to UA-camrs that are where u aspire to be, those that are living their truth. If you want dating and marriage advice there are tons of UA-camrs that give great advice, Christian and otherwise. But dating and marriage doesn't seem to be this vlogger's focus.
that type of rhetoric about bw needing to be submissive and stop trying to "be the man" is hella transphobic too
Judging by the comment section, it is going to be a really hard time for Black women and Blacks in general in terms of unifying as a race.
All I see are finger pointing, gross generalizations and straight out denial and anger. instead of looking within themselves and taking personal accountability....
It will be interesting to see where the Black race will be in 20 years in America...it doesn't look good.
There were some parts of Fantasia’s video that I did get bc I am a Christian Woman and there were definitely parts of Jouelzy’s argument that I roll with! In my household I do see my Husband as the head of the house hold however that does not me he rules over me, leads me around, and controls my action or thoughts ! I have enough respect for him to not make decisions without him, even if it’s on a topic that I am more versed in (e.g balancing a check book) and the same goes for him! Our marriage is absolutely 60/40 on rotation. We compromise and show mutual respect!
She didn't say anything wrong but because you don't agree you attack her and her fiance lol. Black woman do want to be the man I have multiple experience with this.
Girl, she couldn't even articulate her point had to have her husband speak for her. Also, what happened to partnership? I think they should advocate for partnership as opposed to submission coz we ain't cosigning that shit.
If men and women were equal,women (as a group)would be attracted to men with the same height,same amount of physical strength,same age,same salary (would mind marrying a broke guy just like financially stable men don't mind marrying broke women),women wouldn't mind fighting wars and dying for their nations like men,women (as a group)wouldn't mind dating feminine men,women would be playing sport with men,women would be able to fight a man without any intervention,men would punch women like men and have not consequences.What exactly is equality??.Most feminists are fighting for equal results not equal opportunities.
My mother has been married to my father for 40 years! 40! I am 37 and not married. I want something different. I don’t want the lopsided relationship that she has. Shit! She doesn’t want the lopsided relationship that she has... she’s told me not to get married... if it works for Fantasia, she can keep it... I don’t want that.
Women that try to fight the natural order of love and a family always end up single and lonely
Why did I say “whew” the same time as NeNe?! 😆😆
I hope she's in a good space mentally. This is the same young woman that tried to kill herself. She doesn't have a good track record mentally. Some women aren't looking for a man and don't want one in their households and they aren't lesbians either. To each his/her own. If you aren't married this discussion is not for you anyway.
His first example is "How you gon lead your wife if you can't balance a check book?"
Tasia you're in danger girl. You're ignoring all the signs and heading towards old town road like Mary J. Blige, Anita Baker, Halle Berry, Tina Turner, Sherry Shepard and all of the rest of these pick me's!
Where are the videos talking to the men about leadership roles🤔
*Fantasia is 1000% correct... it's a generational curse, period.*
Kindle need to submit to Fantasia strap.
Black women, strong, smart, hard working, accomplished, and many don't want to take the time to do what the most high say do, and yes you are single. Fannie comes from a Christian background that says in the bible to submit. When a man provides, loves, takes care of his family treats and communicates well with his family it is easy to submit, but submit we must and the most high will bless you.
I recall watching a very manly conversation between Black men on UA-cam where they were discussing this very same thing, but they extended by saying, "if we want to be lead and head of the household, we have to be ready to accept full responsibility for whatever occurs". My question is are Black men ready for that? My guess would be no. Also, Black women such as myself will only submit to husbands not a baby daddy or a boyfriend or someone she is dating. A black woman will only submit to a husband who provides and protects her and the family.
Great message for women: be the neck and not the head. This is why I'm agnostic. You know, there's also the saying that two heads are better than one...Sounds about right to me but I guess that's not in the Bible
Jouelzy.....sis....I cannot tell you how much Fanny’s backwoods head/neck analogy has been lectured to me (as a married black woman living in Bible Belt SC) 🙄 so when you said “MY brain and MY ability to articulate my thoughts are so valuable, I don’t wanna be relegated to only some windpipe & some neck muscles”....I FELT THAT! 👏🏾👏🏾