HEMA Douche

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  • Опубліковано 11 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 483

  • @FalconOfStorms
    @FalconOfStorms 7 років тому +258

    "If you win because you're better than me that's not impressive"
    LMFAO

  • @shadiversity
    @shadiversity 7 років тому +685

    This is pure GOLD! Oh man what a brilliant sketch! It’s stuff like this that makes your channel a true gem mate, keep it up!
    And my goodness your accent was great!
    Now to go share this on facebook.

    • @TheOziasmidwinter
      @TheOziasmidwinter 7 років тому +3

      HEMA techniques for the use of the thermos flask, tupperware sandwich box and train spotter notebook

    • @mattaffenit9898
      @mattaffenit9898 7 років тому

      Toxophilus indomitus
      bioticum
      You're both being petulent man-children.

    • @mattaffenit9898
      @mattaffenit9898 7 років тому

      bioticum
      In the context of the video, it is clear sarcasm.

    • @mattaffenit9898
      @mattaffenit9898 7 років тому +1

      bioticum
      Also, jumping to conclusions is the death of the scientific method.
      Also, calling someone a nerd or fat hasn't been insulating for about two decades. Up your game, you ignorant foppish loon of a cowardly milksop.
      By the way, _that_ is how you insult someone.

    • @mattaffenit9898
      @mattaffenit9898 7 років тому

      Toxophilus indomitus
      You don't know what irony means. That is clearly sarcasm, not irony. Nothing about the comment is ironic, but it is clearly sarcastic in the context of the video.

  • @metatronyt
    @metatronyt 7 років тому +720

    I LOVE this video and THE ACCENT :D

    • @maelgugi
      @maelgugi 7 років тому +22

      Metatron
      Notice me senpai!!!

    • @Sammie_Sorrelly
      @Sammie_Sorrelly 7 років тому +4

      This is basically your video on M1 Global though lmao

    • @skatefastreadmarx5564
      @skatefastreadmarx5564 7 років тому

      LMAOOO

    • @Sammie_Sorrelly
      @Sammie_Sorrelly 7 років тому +1

      I'd literally never heard of M1 before watching Metatron's video on the topic, nor have I looked into it since. But go off, I guess.
      Metatron made a shitty video essentially whingeing about how the spectator sport M1 is ridiculous because it doesn't conform to the standards of HEMA, a discipline that isn't really all that closely related except that it has swords, and then when people disagreed with him he made an ultra-condescending video in which he ignored and distorted their perfectly valid points in order to vindicate his own position instead of seriously considering theirs.

    • @thewoodworkingmetalhead2712
      @thewoodworkingmetalhead2712 7 років тому +1

      ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ Ultimate #POWA
      he just wants attention don't listen to him

  • @BlueMountain1992
    @BlueMountain1992 7 років тому +86

    What are your thoughts on the european Hema community?
    "No yes no, I Hate them"
    So what's your thoughts on the American practicioners?
    "no yes, I actually hate those too"
    *Gold.*

  • @HEMAreviews
    @HEMAreviews 7 років тому +102

    This is the best HEMA video there is. Well done.

  • @sf90001
    @sf90001 7 років тому +202

    The joke is that these people exist in real life.

  • @TravelingTyrant
    @TravelingTyrant 7 років тому +290

    This is where I will learn from, from now on. I've long awaited the sword messiah. Thanks much for all you've done!

    • @markuskoivisto
      @markuskoivisto 7 років тому +15

      A true credit to the HEMA community

    • @WihGlah
      @WihGlah 7 років тому +2

      Oh god - this is going to go to his head.

    • @KnightSquire
      @KnightSquire  7 років тому +18

      +Brian Danner You're my hero...

    • @WihGlah
      @WihGlah 7 років тому +2

      You should know I was your first subscriber.

    • @lakkakka
      @lakkakka 7 років тому +4

      First thought about your profile pic. Who would use a pic of a flaming vagina? Realised after it's the eye of sauron.

  • @laughingmask3118
    @laughingmask3118 7 років тому +20

    "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
    ~ Captain Jack Sparrow

  • @Yorosero
    @Yorosero 7 років тому +12

    Sage words from Sir Donnely. 6 years ago on a bright moonlit night in Sheffield as the rustling winds swept around me, as if heralding a momentous event taking place, I managed to catch a glimpse of Sir Donnely's swordplay. Entire trees were cleaved asunder, boulders cracked, and widows made. I shan't forget the sight to my dying days. Sir Donnely is most right on insisting he practice his deadly techniques in secret.

  • @saidtoshimaru1832
    @saidtoshimaru1832 7 років тому +154

    If you beat someone because you are stronger, and you are faster, and you are smarter, you're not really winning.

    • @Dr.Montante
      @Dr.Montante 7 років тому +27

      ...... I.... what?

    • @Dr.Montante
      @Dr.Montante 7 років тому +4

      :p

    • @Ram-xw4kj
      @Ram-xw4kj 7 років тому +13

      Said Toshimaru Ever heard of Justin Trudeau? HAHAHAAHHA

    • @gendoruwo6322
      @gendoruwo6322 7 років тому +14

      I think that makes perfect sense.
      Look, you can't say I'm wrong just because I'm not right, right?

    • @saidtoshimaru1832
      @saidtoshimaru1832 7 років тому +2

      Canada's Prime Minister?

  • @S.A.M.S.2017
    @S.A.M.S.2017 6 років тому +5

    This interview never gets old. Every time this comes up on my recommended playlist, I just have to click it.

  • @siestatime4638
    @siestatime4638 7 років тому +37

    I lost it at "Sheffield HEMA Instructional Team"!

    • @fightswordradio3735
      @fightswordradio3735 4 роки тому +1

      I'm just a knuckle dragging armored fighter, whats the context for thr Sheffield bit? Are they known for being assholes?

    • @Zeroground300
      @Zeroground300 3 роки тому +3

      @@fightswordradio3735 S.H.I.T would be the acronym

  • @Hugo-gg8xy
    @Hugo-gg8xy 7 років тому +5

    Sheffield
    Hema
    Instructional
    Team
    SHIT
    DYING XD

  • @yeoldegunporn
    @yeoldegunporn 7 років тому +35

    Who let you be in charge of a child?

    • @markuskoivisto
      @markuskoivisto 7 років тому +32

      Turns out you can just make them and nobody stops you.

    • @yeoldegunporn
      @yeoldegunporn 7 років тому +6

      Lol best response ever. I do get the feeling Knightsquire is silly, but not an idiot, so probably not one of those people.

  • @xboxmakeseveryonecrazy9947
    @xboxmakeseveryonecrazy9947 7 років тому +8

    This is gold, honestly. It's extremely witty and deadpan and dry. And it's perfect, keep this up, man!

  • @emanekaf145
    @emanekaf145 7 років тому +18

    Sheffield HEMA Instructional Team. Beautiful.

  • @TheMan-je5xq
    @TheMan-je5xq 7 років тому +16

    Well technically he is right you don't have to be extremely fit to use a sword but it obviously helps

  • @eustacethemonk2176
    @eustacethemonk2176 7 років тому +18

    THIS IS HILARIOUS! I'd love to see Kevin be a regular character like Ninja Eugene :D

  • @starwars11ish
    @starwars11ish 7 років тому +39

    Ninja Eugene versus Kevin Donnely. I wonder who would win...

    • @AstralS7orm
      @AstralS7orm 7 років тому +9

      Obviously ninjas don't care about rules and his black armour will make Eugene invisible. He'll also cut the sword in two with his katana.

    • @mattaffenit9898
      @mattaffenit9898 7 років тому +3

      Then the winged hussars arrive!

  • @CaptainPeenNoPants
    @CaptainPeenNoPants 7 років тому +42

    scholagladitoria brought me here

  • @Wordragen
    @Wordragen 9 місяців тому

    We should have more of these sketches for HEMA! It always will stay a great video! Props man!

  • @nexusnova6852
    @nexusnova6852 7 років тому +15

    Wait this guy started a school after 2 years of learning? :)

  • @michaelcapanelli9233
    @michaelcapanelli9233 7 років тому +4

    I will absolutely try to not enjoy my time with my HEMA group. Good advice!!

  • @jamesleonard6275
    @jamesleonard6275 7 років тому +1

    Ya done got me. Having never seen any of your other videos, I thought this was a real interview. It wasn't until i read a few of the comments, wanting to better understand what the heck i was watching, that I realized it was satire. Well done, sir. Well done.

  • @westfalianwarchild6137
    @westfalianwarchild6137 7 років тому +4

    Brilliant! Problem is, that a lot of HEMA enthusiasts sound exactly like this. Specially the part about the "...if you beat me, because you are stronger, faster, smarter you don't really win..." Then they are pissed, that their techniques don't work as they should. ^^

  • @Didntwanttomakeauser
    @Didntwanttomakeauser 7 років тому +3

    Trade that gambeson for a black gi, hakama pants or a set of silk pajamas and it works just as well.

  • @MikeKnell2884
    @MikeKnell2884 7 років тому

    I am grateful for this sage advice Mr. Donnely. I will persevere to endure training HEMA according to your rules and guidance.

  • @fatim0nster
    @fatim0nster 7 років тому +2

    That voice was awesome xD. And overall nerdy impression was hilarious. Please consider making series with this character, as with Ninja Eugene!

  • @weusdesforges9433
    @weusdesforges9433 7 років тому +5

    Really convincing ! Thank you Mr Donnely for your invaluable point of vue.

  • @djay6651
    @djay6651 7 років тому +1

    I feel like at some of his demos there is a Stonehenge monument that is in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.

  • @andrewmendez8996
    @andrewmendez8996 7 років тому +6

    This has got to be the funniest damned thing I've seen in the community. Well done sir.

  • @kieranfitz
    @kieranfitz 7 років тому +148

    But what are his thoughts on pommel throwing?

  • @TheSwordsPathChannel
    @TheSwordsPathChannel 7 років тому +194

    /r/wma in a nutshell

    • @ButifarraTV
      @ButifarraTV 7 років тому +2

      The Sword's Path What do you mean by WMA?

    • @THECOLONEL50
      @THECOLONEL50 5 років тому +2

      La Buticueva the acronym stands for Western Martial Arts.

  • @ZemplinTemplar
    @ZemplinTemplar 7 років тому +1

    The "Sheffield HEMA Instructional Team" must have an amazing acronym... X-D :-)

  • @woodslore8537
    @woodslore8537 7 років тому +3

    Is it sad that I'm not even a part of a HEMA club and I know people like this.

  • @sidneyfrederickson3941
    @sidneyfrederickson3941 7 років тому +7

    Proof positive there are dicks in every sport, no matter how obscure.
    Great stuff, my friend!

  • @ceori6399
    @ceori6399 7 років тому +1

    I can hear the crystal lizard in your intro, I dont think Pontiff Sulyvahn have allowed you to film in his home.

  • @maximumentropy539
    @maximumentropy539 7 років тому +3

    This is so accurate it hurts...from all the laughter

  • @shrekas2966
    @shrekas2966 7 років тому +8

    Sounds like japanese martial artist

  • @samprastherabbit
    @samprastherabbit 7 років тому +1

    Woo! the KnightSquire returns! That was absolutely glorious, man :D Gonna share that with the lads in my exclusive, closed HEMA group where we don't do any warm ups or try & improve ourselves via the Art :-P

  • @RockerMarcee96
    @RockerMarcee96 7 років тому +49

    I feel like on some parts everyone could find at least a handful of guys in the community who are fitting this image.
    I myself for example while I will argue besides my interpretations will not discredit you for it and we may as well learn from each other.
    But the likes if John Clements, Mike Analson and László Schunder absolutly loathe you if you have anything against theirs. And these are 3 people on the extremes. Don't get me wrong I do take from the latter two quite a bit of stuff. But dare to challange them and you will be told that your mother sleeps with dwarves.

    • @OfficialGamingPeople
      @OfficialGamingPeople 7 років тому

      FLATAMASTRONG!

    • @RockerMarcee96
      @RockerMarcee96 7 років тому +1

      Kunst des Fuckyou Throw a cut!

    • @OfficialGamingPeople
      @OfficialGamingPeople 7 років тому +6

      *Does a shitty interpretation of a krumphau that ends with both fighters getting injured*

    • @RockerMarcee96
      @RockerMarcee96 7 років тому

      Kunst des Fuckyou feel the power of my Zorn!

    • @RockerMarcee96
      @RockerMarcee96 7 років тому +4

      This comment resembles one debate I had on youtube with a certain username Martial Artist who said he's going to come to me and murder me with a bokuto. The only thing that he was trying to be serious and here I laugh if he comes near me I can kill him without getting charges due to him being an armed attacker.

  • @hope_full
    @hope_full 7 років тому

    Oh joel why have i only just seen this video. Your accents / voices are always on point. 10/10

  • @Scrubworks
    @Scrubworks 7 місяців тому

    Fedora enthusiasts with samurai swords: "We are the most insufferable people on the internet."
    This guy: "Hold my S.H.I.T."

  • @Dreynschlag
    @Dreynschlag 7 років тому +27

    Great video!

  • @leebennett4117
    @leebennett4117 7 років тому +1

    HEMA is not fighting,It's ritualized Hitting each other with swords

  • @Neriad13
    @Neriad13 7 років тому

    I literally shed tears during this. ;u;
    Thank you, kind sir.

  • @davidthomas4325
    @davidthomas4325 6 років тому

    Took me two cuts before I realized. Very funny. Kept getting better. Thanks for the chuckle.

  • @hook2wayz463
    @hook2wayz463 7 років тому

    Wow man was with you when you had 500 subs. Good job on the growth you deserve it man!

  • @achilleschen1710
    @achilleschen1710 7 років тому +8

    Well, a clear reflexion of John Clements

    • @effigytormented
      @effigytormented 7 років тому +2

      Welll and others, I mean John at the very least emphasizes physicality and tactics above many other training elements but shuts out much of the rest of the community for sure.

    • @achilleschen1710
      @achilleschen1710 7 років тому +3

      I agree with you, he at least knew his stuff better than some

    • @RandomAllen
      @RandomAllen 6 років тому +1

      It's very much like Hugh Knight too

  • @Yeknodathon
    @Yeknodathon 7 років тому +1

    That was delicious: lashings of satire, wit swirled with choc bits of irony and subversive poking where it is sensitive. Very naughty :)

  • @bloodypine22
    @bloodypine22 7 років тому +7

    That jacket looks so goddamn good

  • @woodsmanlast4364
    @woodsmanlast4364 6 років тому +2

    Having met a lot of guys like this in larp, I lost it. This is hilarious.

  • @angelafornelli7389
    @angelafornelli7389 7 років тому +4

    Eleanor of Aquitaine would be so proud!

  • @emondragon68
    @emondragon68 7 років тому

    Fuck..you had me going for a minute. Couldn't stop laughing..instant subscribe.

  • @amartailor8350
    @amartailor8350 7 років тому +1

    Sheffield Hema Instructional Team.
    Yes. Fucking, yes.

  • @andrewwalters247
    @andrewwalters247 7 років тому

    The dictionary definition of "sarcasm" should just be a link to this video, loved every second of it.
    I've been practicing HEMA for less than 4 hours now and I've already met this kind of talk. I should say KDF sorry, they told it's nothing like HEMA......... yeah....
    Genuinely nice, enthusiastic people though and they know their stuff so gonna keep going, but still, I've had to bite my tongue a few times and this video did make me chuckle.
    Hat of to your sir.

  • @nolanolivier6791
    @nolanolivier6791 6 років тому

    The most subtle satirisation of Steven Seagal in history...

  • @BlueDemon77
    @BlueDemon77 6 років тому +1

    Hilarious stuff. I was going to join a local HEMA group some years ago and started to research them at the same time as I was sending them emails about their training. The guy I contacted came off exactly like this. In one case he was criticising hard sparring and competitions in HEMA saying "This is HEMA not MMA!!....What about Knightly chivalry??!!" Needless to say...I didn't join the group. Shame really as the head instructor is actually very skilled.
    Sadly this isn't just a problem in HEMA but the martial arts world generally.

  • @BigHossHackworth
    @BigHossHackworth 7 років тому +4

    You've got a talent for satire.

  • @mrhost561
    @mrhost561 7 років тому +3

    I'm a HEMA douche in that I throw a fit whenever some media thing (games, TV, movie, etc) tries to pass something off as historically accurate or realistic when it's not, instead of just biting my tongue and letting people enjoy things.

  • @JETWTF
    @JETWTF 7 років тому

    Why was my sarcasm meter telling my sarcasm alarm to go off?

  • @mariopacheco8067
    @mariopacheco8067 7 років тому

    This is like a WAY BETTER version of Dwight from the Office

  • @COMBINEdotCOM
    @COMBINEdotCOM 7 років тому +4

    As someone who practices in Sheffield we wish there was a Sheffield Instruction team, it'd mean we wouldnt have to travel an hour to see someone else

  • @julienamand4472
    @julienamand4472 7 років тому

    We need more of this Kevin Donnely

  • @lewisbenzie845
    @lewisbenzie845 7 років тому +8

    Its meant to be funny but its dangerously close to real world :)

  • @LeonFelipeBanegas
    @LeonFelipeBanegas Рік тому

    This is so rich, like cheddar that with time is getting better in flavor

  • @joellauson8145
    @joellauson8145 5 років тому

    1: Dont spar
    2: Dont meet up with anyone
    3: Only use douche approved equipment
    4: Only use douche approved techniques
    5: Have absolutely no fun

  • @EpicurusWasRight
    @EpicurusWasRight 3 роки тому

    This isn’t about enjoying yourself, it’s about swordsmanship.

  • @swatchaplain
    @swatchaplain 6 років тому +1

    You sir are the Master Ken of HEMA

  • @MPPRODUCTIONSger
    @MPPRODUCTIONSger 6 років тому

    When are we going to see the duel of the century - Ninja Eugene vs Kevin Donely?

  • @LovelyChaosIsABeauty
    @LovelyChaosIsABeauty 7 років тому

    I haven't laughed this hard in weeks. His little personas are freaking hilarious.

  • @thegreatrussello9157
    @thegreatrussello9157 7 років тому +2

    This guy's just doing a humerous skit right?

  • @robertusaugustus2003
    @robertusaugustus2003 7 років тому +5

    That was awesome. The sad thing is some HEMA practitioners can be like that.

  • @stephanieeaton449
    @stephanieeaton449 3 роки тому

    This gets more hilarious every year

  • @konicu
    @konicu 7 років тому +2

    that accent makes me think of Moss from "The IT Crowd"

  • @donna30044
    @donna30044 7 років тому

    Sheffield Hema Instructional Team - - - pure gold!

  • @kamatong
    @kamatong 7 років тому +1

    though have to agree with the parody character about the dangers of it becoming too much of a sport and losing the martial art aspect.

  • @allanwilliams1814
    @allanwilliams1814 7 років тому +1

    Is this John Cleese's son? he should be in a monty python clip

  • @RandomAllen
    @RandomAllen 7 років тому +2

    Hi John Clements!

  • @Dominator046
    @Dominator046 7 років тому

    Man, I can only imagine what it must be like to be a piece of the Sheffield HEMA Instructional Team.

  • @davidbradley6040
    @davidbradley6040 7 років тому

    I had a friend who always turned down Pool game requests by saying "I'm a Snooker player so you wouldn't stand a chance against me"

  • @DaBezzzz
    @DaBezzzz 7 років тому

    Wears a HEMA suit while being interviewed

  • @justbrowsing8205
    @justbrowsing8205 7 років тому

    I really love this video, learned quite a bit from it.

  • @The_cherrybomb.
    @The_cherrybomb. 7 років тому

    I like that it has some sport vibes I did sport fencing and it's not like we going to fight with swords

  • @johnnypopulus5521
    @johnnypopulus5521 7 років тому +1

    Are there really people like this? No sparring, no tournaments? Tell me it ain't so.

  • @feanorfingolfin7414
    @feanorfingolfin7414 6 років тому

    This unbelievably is how a lot of absolutely nothing's really think thanks mate.

  • @internetenjoyer1044
    @internetenjoyer1044 4 роки тому

    perfect parody of people who use martial arts for larp purposes

  • @lt.branwulfram4794
    @lt.branwulfram4794 6 років тому

    Judging from the fence in the background, he’s actually British.

  • @blacklung3501
    @blacklung3501 11 місяців тому +1

    Is this Sellsword Arts?

    • @migulitolopes
      @migulitolopes 11 місяців тому +1

      No, but destiny sure is ironic

  • @zackdubnoff2366
    @zackdubnoff2366 4 роки тому

    Wow! All of these attitudes are present in the traditional Martial Arts!

  • @jacobcohn546
    @jacobcohn546 7 років тому

    This Feder goes to eleven. This is one of my favorite if your vids which is really saying something xD Now we need a mocumentary where Kevin Donnely's HEMA club goes to a tournament in America.

  • @DeviousWizard
    @DeviousWizard 7 років тому

    "And for theclove of Christ, don't enjoy yourself"
    Best line

  • @OskoreiMick
    @OskoreiMick 7 років тому +10

    not sure if parody or just John Clements

    • @AlpacaAsh
      @AlpacaAsh 7 років тому +1

      Except ARMA does spar and does encourage improving physicality.

    • @MisdirectedSasha
      @MisdirectedSasha 7 років тому +4

      I suspect it's a mix between Hugh Knight, John Clements, and Mike Eddelson. There's bits of all three in there. Though I'm about 50/50 on KnightSquire having heard of Hugh Knight. Knight doesn't get out much.
      I would imagine anyone on the internet who does HEMA has had a conversation like this at some point.

    • @RandomAllen
      @RandomAllen 6 років тому

      I'm pretty sure it's mainly Hugh Knight with a dash of Clements

  • @julienamand4472
    @julienamand4472 7 років тому

    Maybe something got lost in translation but when he says "I've been a HEMA practitioner for 10 years and I've had my own club for going on 8 years", does it means that he founded his club after only 2 years of experience ?!

  • @Drew_Thompson
    @Drew_Thompson 7 років тому

    This dudes neck is so small a turtleneck reaches his ears.

  • @nexusnova6852
    @nexusnova6852 7 років тому +3

    Wait, is this Bujikan?

  • @razzie66
    @razzie66 7 років тому

    like the guy who never got back to me when he said he would.

  • @Chrominance87
    @Chrominance87 7 років тому

    Sounds just like the last instructor at the last WMA group I considered joining.

  • @voltarsystems
    @voltarsystems 6 років тому +1

    Put a dress on and make some cheese to go with that wine. I have a Charlemagne gate to sell you.

  • @林之皓
    @林之皓 7 років тому

    This video is so interesting. I almost got myself chunk when watching it.