I deal with this toooo much. I am also a direct person and have little patience for dishonest behavior. It seems like when certain people who have trouble facing a difficult truth, or are required to do some self reflection or take accountability they double down and are only capable of attempting to derail the conversation.
It's they just refuse to do answer 😞 simply answer I'm talking about Google there full of shit.sir your right about everything you have just stated I'm taking about Google you make perfect sense Google is as full shit as possible. Truth is hard to find. I'm 73 trained In 3 different disappearing discipline''s from 1968 to 1971 not worried at 73. You speak well I have everything and all the things you can name try to kill me there's some luck but you're trained or not what level are you talking about mine is you tell me the differences know BS .Greg Oregon if this is ad good luck and go somewhere else.
I found this video after I blocked someone who couldn't provide direct answer for many things, I just had enough. I like what you said and everything is exactly what I felt about the person who is so secretive, wont tell you anything, manipulative, and blaming on my questions instead of providing the answers to simple questions.
Thank you! I got really aggravated today when a person who’s throwing an event I’m working with could not answer my direct questions about technical specifications that were necessary for me and another person to do our jobs. I started to doubt myself, but actually, no. This person simply isn’t answering the harmless question.
I share your pain. That's why I found your video. I believe it usually boils down to Control. That and perhaps they were stiffled as a child and shut down and don't trust that there voice can be heard. Still it's Control.
It also makes perticulary Men look weak. Take responcablity for your direct and concise answer. You don't come across as mysterious you come across as weak and femine. Stop it. Can you tell I'm frustrated? 😜
Great content Greg thank you for helping people that are lost and going through these type of difficult situations with difficult people. A lot of it has to do with lack of emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity and growth. I have come to the understanding that 90% of society operates on a Fear-based level of love. We mirror those fears subconsciously to them inadvertently. Humans can have multiple fears of not being good enough, fear of love, fear of rejection, fear of happiness, the list is an endless possibilities. It's all been programmed information they formed in childhood or past relationship baggage that they refused to heal and let go. It's always best to be authentic and just walk away from anyone that can't answer simple questions because of their insecurities and fears. Being fearless is the only way to live free!!!
I have a degree in English and master degree in human behavior at the University of Oregon ducks. People murder the English language everyday changing words to mean something else when they're not even the opposite or even close what they're saying. Most people clueless to how to communicate. The most important part of communication is listening people it goes in one ear and out the other other people it never enters
My parents are like what you described. Personally It's abuse and runs deep when, myself, interacting in all relationships. One technique is to clarify what they state, and emphases each word, syllabus, able in a slow sentence.. When they go rhortic, calmy repeat the sentence again. This makes them mad, they will do anything to distract you and change the sunject. When that fails, they go into blame mode, after failing that they may choose crocodile tears and silent treatment. That point its best to leave. The technique I've learnt is to observe their behaviour from a distance, and reframe from getting involved in their drama. If you can do this, you can easily see their strengths and weakness at a distance, and it could easily be an interpretation of comedy from my own perspective watch them act out.
I find they are quick to get mad at you and blame you like you are the jerk. Every once in a while they see or hear themselves and will laugh when they realize how stupid their response to the original question is......then say , "well you know what I meant!"
Me: would you like a tea or a coffee?. Hubby: ummm yes. Me: so which would you like? Hubby: which ever youre having (whilst he looks over my shoulder to see if I am boiling the kettle or the coffee pot). Me: please just answer me. Hubby still doesn’t answer,so I just give what ever I make. But, it leaves me thinking, why try to even bother talking sometimes.
I searched this out this morning, thank you for your comment, my husband does exactly the same thing evasive,confusing. I just need simple answers,even asking how his day was he snaps back and says it was work ! All the while never asks me how my day was. Almost 30 years and it wasn't like thus before but he has done things that contradict his actions and vice versa. Dealing with so much wondering. I don't feel alone or so unimportant knowing there are others going through the same
Simple answer is it's a fear. Fear of having the wrong answer. Fear of appearing less intelligent. Fear of being useless. Fear of having an opinion and being labeled. I could go on and on
Greg you are awesome and this was spot on. I have noticed when I speak with people who like to communicate my conversations flow a lot better. Lol . These people will have you thinking you have a communication issue lol
Thank you! You’re absolutely right, they will gaslight you with their stoney face and make you believe that there really is something wrong with your expectations and ability to connect.
Another reason would be having ADHD. People with ADHD has soo much going on in their heads that when they are confronted with a question requiring an immediate direct answer they need to process first before responding, if the person feels pressure to answer they'll try to respond immediately while in the middle of processing the question and past memories at the same time and it'll come out as indirect answers. I do this myself and it's very stressing to me when someone suddenly asks me a question when my mind is somewhere else or i am not sure of the answer. It also doesn't help that i view not knowing the answer as me being stupid. When i force myself to give any answer it's my attempt to look smart but in reality it makes me look dumb pretending to know the answer.
Hey Aaron, this is definitely true to an extent because I sympathize with you I have the same disorder. However I believe we are mostly discussing the people that when you ask them something “so simple” as to where are you going for vacation or how was your life in high school they refuse to provide a direct answer and try to either negate your question or simply redirect the conversation to a totally different topic The reason this particular video was made I believe was to talk about the people who understands completely how to indulge in conversations as long as it does not involve them being open or vulnerable due to trauma and/or mental issues and/or wanting control This video is not about the inability to answer “certain” major questions because you need time to process your thoughts These are “intentional “ and manipulating creatures so please do not assume you have “any “ of these issues as it relates to ADHD. There is another video about that somewhere on UA-cam and this simply isn’t one of them I just do not want people to continue giving these intentional manipulators a pass
My controlling father did this all the time, often these people sort of know they are sometimes stupid and say stupid things, that may be why they are so defensive when you question them ( I suspect the tone of my voice changes because once again I am dumbfounded by the answer I just got). I have been on this earth for more than half a century and I am still trying to improve my communication skills......My Girlfriend is very much like my father was ( so a psychologist says I am repeating the family pattern because it is what I am use too and it feels normal or comfortable and I am still trying to fix the problem). The people in my life tend to be like the first three examples and not like the later. I think they just like to hear themselves talk? I think they have some what of a narcissistic personality trait and therefore tend to make everything about themselves. They dominate conversations go on long winding stories and if you get the chance to speak will often say wow you tell long stories.......I think they feel my stories are long because as narcissists it is all about them.......most the time you jest let them rant on and listen but should you get the opportunity to tell your story they say wow you talk a lot!!!!!!! I think this is because they are use to dominating a conversation so having to listen to you for a change makes them no center stage and they doing like it. Here are some examples: I ask are you Hungry? They go on to tell me everything they did and didn't eat that day but never answer the question "are you hungry". I am looking for you and your large son in a crowd, I think I see you and him because he is wearing a bright red T shirt....we are on the phone trying to find each other and I say, " is your son wearing a red shirt" rather than just say Yes, the answer I got was" he is wearing a shirt he got at camp last year"...... turns out the shirt is red but she never acknowledged that. we are looking for a notebook in her house, I ask her, is it a spiral note book or composition style note book we are looking for, she says composition. I said, " ok what color is the not book" her answer is MARBLE. I say Maribel is not a color what color is it.......eventually she says it is a black marble composition book ........
I don't comment on post often, but I SHARE YOUR FRUSTRATION 100%. Greg, try to remain patient with 'them'. Your I.Q. is higher than most. Your wording is precise, your points are valid, your opinions are based on sure facts and you are a critical thinker. You were BORN with this GIFT. Here's my conclusion: A person with lesser components will avoid you or enjoy FRUSTRATING you with 'hide and seek' answers. Our knowledge/intellect is POWER! The more we know, the more powerful we become. With innocent intellect, we are likely to insult the well-thought-out plan of others without knowing that it took up most of their night's sleep, to come up with a plan destined for failure. Thus triggering an inferiority complex within them that works against us. Thank you for posting! I enjoyed it.
This video was awesome! It shined a lot of light on a situation that I'm going through with a guy that I'm wanting to pursue a relationship with. It seems like he dodges questions when it comes to us and what's going on and is keeping me in the dark about a lot of things,so, maybe it's a wrong decision to pursue him, unfortunately. Besides that, he's a great guy.
If what you are experiencing sounds eerily similar to what I described in this video, you may have a lot to think about. It's better to make yourself aware of this before you allow yourself to get much more involved.
I experienced this during a debate about circumcision. I made a very clear point as to why i was against it and the other person just kept doing everything they could to find justifications for it. So i asked them, would you circumcise your child ? And they said "idk" And i did not let them escape the question easily. I even came up with scenarios where they absolutely have to say yes or no otherwise their child would die. And they would still refuse to answer... Mind boggling. But also revealing. When people know that their answer is gonna prove your point or reveal something about themselves that explains why they have some other positions, they will not want to answer and they do any amount of mental gymnastic to evade giving a simple, direct answer. They will also try to make it sound like they did answer your question, that there is not just yes or no and that there can be an infinity of answer and they will try to play the philosopher game with you. But they know the answer they just don't want to give it, and they don't want to even admit that they don't want to give it. It makes me so angry LMAO
Good reply. I'm bewildered as I'm going to an event. The location the host gave does not show up on any Google Search but it is close to a major landmark in the city. When I ask "where is the event", they provide me with the url of the major landmark and then in another answer: the address of the landmark. It is fustrating, continuously trying to find out where the event is...
What if the one who's not giving you straight answers is your partner? I mean, I can never get a simple yes or no out of the simplest question, and then I'm the problematic one. I even start by saying "the following question takes a yes or no answer, ok?" And then I just get another question from him or he just goes around the subject .
People that have a problem communicating will answer questions because they have a problem communicating they don't know when to shut their mouth. Here's another example of stupid questions you're not going to somebody's door and they say (won't )you come in. A flight correct intelligent response would be (will )you please come in.
My wife's brothers, who have becomes like the brothers I never had, can't answer questions of a certain type. If you ask their opinion on something, or for their input when trying to plan, they can't do it. Most of the time it's, I dunno, whatever you want. Or they throw out a joke instead of answering the question. It's really frustrating for me and my wife when we try to plan activities for the family. We end up having to tell them what we're doing and to be at a certain place at a certain time. When we do this, they act like they're being bosses around. There's no winning and there's no meeting in the middle.
If you can't give answers (straight answers) or results, you are of no use to me. That's how I live. No religion, no philosophy. Just straight, direct answers and results.
I have a friend of mine his name Is Roger Paulson would you give him advice about this because I want him to Understand that I want to set boundaries from him in my Relationship. P.S. what advice for me to be careful of
You forgot one: maybe you, yourself, or whomever is doing the interrogating, has been proven to be untrustworthy with information. That would be a valid reason for someone to not want to divulge a lot of information.
I have a question why did you start off your video with don't won't can't not . People ask stupid questions that are none of thier business. Majority of people can't talk without asking a question. They seem to think but they're entitled for you to answer their question. Especially cops people always asking why. Many times there is no why its the way it is. People ask a question and when you answer it they say are you sure. My answer is that is either one of two things my name is Scott. Or I say the questions been ask and answer. You can fall down or have an accident right in front of somebody and they'll ask are you okay. My answer is hell no I'm far from all right is that what you mean by okay are you all right that's a favorite word for cops okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay. Another stupid question is people say (you know) I always say how would I know when you haven't told me yet.
I deal with this toooo much. I am also a direct person and have little patience for dishonest behavior. It seems like when certain people who have trouble facing a difficult truth, or are required to do some self reflection or take accountability they double down and are only capable of attempting to derail the conversation.
Exactly.
It's they just refuse to do answer 😞 simply answer I'm talking about Google there full of shit.sir your right about everything you have just stated I'm taking about Google you make perfect sense Google is as full shit as possible. Truth is hard to find. I'm 73 trained In 3 different disappearing discipline''s from 1968 to 1971 not worried at 73. You speak well I have everything and all the things you can name try to kill me there's some luck but you're trained or not what level are you talking about mine is you tell me the differences know BS .Greg Oregon if this is ad good luck and go somewhere else.
This is really good. I dropped someone last night because of this. And all the emotions you listed apply. Thanks for this insight.
I found this video after I blocked someone who couldn't provide direct answer for many things, I just had enough. I like what you said and everything is exactly what I felt about the person who is so secretive, wont tell you anything, manipulative, and blaming on my questions instead of providing the answers to simple questions.
Yeah, these people light matches in the forest and blame you when they see it burning down.
Thanks for watching!
Thank you! I got really aggravated today when a person who’s throwing an event I’m working with could not answer my direct questions about technical specifications that were necessary for me and another person to do our jobs. I started to doubt myself, but actually, no. This person simply isn’t answering the harmless question.
How annoying!
I share your pain. That's why I found your video. I believe it usually boils down to Control. That and perhaps they were stiffled as a child and shut down and don't trust that there voice can be heard. Still it's Control.
It also makes perticulary Men look weak. Take responcablity for your direct and concise answer. You don't come across as mysterious you come across as weak and femine. Stop it.
Can you tell I'm frustrated? 😜
Great content Greg thank you for helping people that are lost and going through these type of difficult situations with difficult people.
A lot of it has to do with lack of emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity and growth. I have come to the understanding that 90% of society operates on a Fear-based level of love. We mirror those fears subconsciously to them inadvertently. Humans can have multiple fears of not being good enough, fear of love, fear of rejection, fear of happiness, the list is an endless possibilities. It's all been programmed information they formed in childhood or past relationship baggage that they refused to heal and let go. It's always best to be authentic and just walk away from anyone that can't answer simple questions because of their insecurities and fears. Being fearless is the only way to live free!!!
Thanks for commenting. This is really good!
You NAILED IT, James! :)
I have a degree in English and master degree in human behavior at the University of Oregon ducks. People murder the English language everyday changing words to mean something else when they're not even the opposite or even close what they're saying. Most people clueless to how to communicate. The most important part of communication is listening people it goes in one ear and out the other other people it never enters
My parents are like what you described. Personally It's abuse and runs deep when, myself, interacting in all relationships. One technique is to clarify what they state, and emphases each word, syllabus, able in a slow sentence.. When they go rhortic, calmy repeat the sentence again. This makes them mad, they will do anything to distract you and change the sunject. When that fails, they go into blame mode, after failing that they may choose crocodile tears and silent treatment. That point its best to leave. The technique I've learnt is to observe their behaviour from a distance, and reframe from getting involved in their drama. If you can do this, you can easily see their strengths and weakness at a distance, and it could easily be an interpretation of comedy from my own perspective watch them act out.
You have a very wise approach to this. I like it!
I find they are quick to get mad at you and blame you like you are the jerk. Every once in a while they see or hear themselves and will laugh when they realize how stupid their response to the original question is......then say , "well you know what I meant!"
Me: would you like a tea or a coffee?. Hubby: ummm yes. Me: so which would you like? Hubby: which ever youre having (whilst he looks over my shoulder to see if I am boiling the kettle or the coffee pot). Me: please just answer me. Hubby still doesn’t answer,so I just give what ever I make. But, it leaves me thinking, why try to even bother talking sometimes.
I searched this out this morning, thank you for your comment, my husband does exactly the same thing evasive,confusing. I just need simple answers,even asking how his day was he snaps back and says it was work ! All the while never asks me how my day was. Almost 30 years and it wasn't like thus before but he has done things that contradict his actions and vice versa. Dealing with so much wondering. I don't feel alone or so unimportant knowing there are others going through the same
Simple answer is it's a fear. Fear of having the wrong answer. Fear of appearing less intelligent. Fear of being useless. Fear of having an opinion and being labeled. I could go on and on
Sounds like self hatred.
Many times the easiest answer is the right one
Awesome explanations thanks Greg
WoW this is what I never realized in my life and now I get it , this is awesome mr Greg ! I really appriciate it !
Thanks, man!
Greg you are awesome and this was spot on. I have noticed when I speak with people who like to communicate my conversations flow a lot better. Lol . These people will have you thinking you have a communication issue lol
Thank you!
You’re absolutely right, they will gaslight you with their stoney face and make you believe that there really is something wrong with your expectations and ability to connect.
@@GregBoswell428 lol certainly. We’re blessed to have figured it out and got out quickly! Sadly others arent so lucky and still blind 😢😢
Let’s not complicate things. They don’t want to tell you the answer. That’s it!
It is aggravating and not forthcoming. Playing games
Some how answering your question gives up power by acknowledging your lowly presence
Another reason would be having ADHD. People with ADHD has soo much going on in their heads that when they are confronted with a question requiring an immediate direct answer they need to process first before responding, if the person feels pressure to answer they'll try to respond immediately while in the middle of processing the question and past memories at the same time and it'll come out as indirect answers. I do this myself and it's very stressing to me when someone suddenly asks me a question when my mind is somewhere else or i am not sure of the answer. It also doesn't help that i view not knowing the answer as me being stupid. When i force myself to give any answer it's my attempt to look smart but in reality it makes me look dumb pretending to know the answer.
That makes good sense. I can kind of relate to that.
Hey Aaron, this is definitely true to an extent because I sympathize with you I have the same disorder. However I believe we are mostly discussing the people that when you ask them something “so simple” as to where are you going for vacation or how was your life in high school they refuse to provide a direct answer and try to either negate your question or simply redirect the conversation to a totally different topic
The reason this particular video was made I believe was to talk about the people who understands completely how to indulge in conversations as long as it does not involve them being open or vulnerable due to trauma and/or mental issues and/or wanting control
This video is not about the inability to answer “certain” major questions because you need time to process your thoughts
These are “intentional “ and manipulating creatures so please do not assume you have “any “ of these issues as it relates to ADHD.
There is another video about that somewhere on UA-cam and this simply isn’t one of them
I just do not want people to continue giving these intentional manipulators a pass
@@KiaYoung7 you got it!
@@GregBoswell428 😂 I am a professional. I dealt with this stupidity 8 years of my life 😂😂😂😂
My controlling father did this all the time, often these people sort of know they are sometimes stupid and say stupid things, that may be why they are so defensive when you question them ( I suspect the tone of my voice changes because once again I am dumbfounded by the answer I just got). I have been on this earth for more than half a century and I am still trying to improve my communication skills......My Girlfriend is very much like my father was ( so a psychologist says I am repeating the family pattern because it is what I am use too and it feels normal or comfortable and I am still trying to fix the problem). The people in my life tend to be like the first three examples and not like the later. I think they just like to hear themselves talk? I think they have some what of a narcissistic personality trait and therefore tend to make everything about themselves. They dominate conversations go on long winding stories and if you get the chance to speak will often say wow you tell long stories.......I think they feel my stories are long because as narcissists it is all about them.......most the time you jest let them rant on and listen but should you get the opportunity to tell your story they say wow you talk a lot!!!!!!! I think this is because they are use to dominating a conversation so having to listen to you for a change makes them no center stage and they doing like it. Here are some examples: I ask are you Hungry? They go on to tell me everything they did and didn't eat that day but never answer the question "are you hungry". I am looking for you and your large son in a crowd, I think I see you and him because he is wearing a bright red T shirt....we are on the phone trying to find each other and I say, " is your son wearing a red shirt" rather than just say Yes, the answer I got was" he is wearing a shirt he got at camp last year"...... turns out the shirt is red but she never acknowledged that. we are looking for a notebook in her house, I ask her, is it a spiral note book or composition style note book we are looking for, she says composition. I said, " ok what color is the not book" her answer is MARBLE. I say Maribel is not a color what color is it.......eventually she says it is a black marble composition book ........
I don't comment on post often, but I SHARE YOUR FRUSTRATION 100%. Greg, try to remain patient with 'them'. Your I.Q. is higher than most. Your wording is precise, your points are valid, your opinions are based on sure facts and you are a critical thinker. You were BORN with this GIFT.
Here's my conclusion: A person with lesser components will avoid you or enjoy FRUSTRATING you with 'hide and seek' answers. Our knowledge/intellect is POWER! The more we know, the more powerful we become. With innocent intellect, we are likely to insult the well-thought-out plan of others without knowing that it took up most of their night's sleep, to come up with a plan destined for failure. Thus triggering an inferiority complex within them that works against us. Thank you for posting! I enjoyed it.
This video was awesome! It shined a lot of light on a situation that I'm going through with a guy that I'm wanting to pursue a relationship with. It seems like he dodges questions when it comes to us and what's going on and is keeping me in the dark about a lot of things,so, maybe it's a wrong decision to pursue him, unfortunately. Besides that, he's a great guy.
If what you are experiencing sounds eerily similar to what I described in this video, you may have a lot to think about. It's better to make yourself aware of this before you allow yourself to get much more involved.
I experienced this during a debate about circumcision.
I made a very clear point as to why i was against it and the other person just kept doing everything they could to find justifications for it.
So i asked them, would you circumcise your child ?
And they said "idk"
And i did not let them escape the question easily. I even came up with scenarios where they absolutely have to say yes or no otherwise their child would die.
And they would still refuse to answer...
Mind boggling.
But also revealing.
When people know that their answer is gonna prove your point or reveal something about themselves that explains why they have some other positions, they will not want to answer and they do any amount of mental gymnastic to evade giving a simple, direct answer.
They will also try to make it sound like they did answer your question, that there is not just yes or no and that there can be an infinity of answer and they will try to play the philosopher game with you.
But they know the answer they just don't want to give it, and they don't want to even admit that they don't want to give it.
It makes me so angry LMAO
Your a awesome bearded motivational speaker Greg
Thanks
I feel like you’re inside me
Good reply. I'm bewildered as I'm going to an event. The location the host gave does not show up on any Google Search but it is close to a major landmark in the city. When I ask "where is the event", they provide me with the url of the major landmark and then in another answer: the address of the landmark. It is fustrating, continuously trying to find out where the event is...
What if the one who's not giving you straight answers is your partner? I mean, I can never get a simple yes or no out of the simplest question, and then I'm the problematic one. I even start by saying "the following question takes a yes or no answer, ok?" And then I just get another question from him or he just goes around the subject .
That would be extremely frustrating. I don’t know if I could deal with that.
Can we connect? I’m married to the same person
That is abuse.
So true.. nail on the head
People that have a problem communicating will answer questions because they have a problem communicating they don't know when to shut their mouth. Here's another example of stupid questions you're not going to somebody's door and they say (won't )you come in. A flight correct intelligent response would be (will )you please come in.
My wife's brothers, who have becomes like the brothers I never had, can't answer questions of a certain type. If you ask their opinion on something, or for their input when trying to plan, they can't do it. Most of the time it's, I dunno, whatever you want. Or they throw out a joke instead of answering the question. It's really frustrating for me and my wife when we try to plan activities for the family. We end up having to tell them what we're doing and to be at a certain place at a certain time. When we do this, they act like they're being bosses around. There's no winning and there's no meeting in the middle.
That’s so aggravating
I asked my “Friend” was she talking to my ex bf and she said she wasn’t going to answer that. What that mean ? She supposed to be my best friend
I don’t give direct answers when it comes to making plans because my MBTI ends with P. Having a plan feels like a death sentence.
A Narcisist????????---
when you said business are you sinful 14:32 / 16:39
If you can't give answers (straight answers) or results, you are of no use to me. That's how I live. No religion, no philosophy. Just straight, direct answers and results.
I have a friend of mine his name Is Roger Paulson would you give him advice about this because I want him to Understand that I want to set boundaries from him in my Relationship.
P.S. what advice for me to be careful of
You forgot one: maybe you, yourself, or whomever is doing the interrogating, has been proven to be untrustworthy with information. That would be a valid reason for someone to not want to divulge a lot of information.
I didn't forget that. It's in there. And you have to remember, we're not talking about interrogation.
Nice profile photo, though, Cara! :)
Came here for the beard. I am not gay.
They are jerks
I have a question why did you start off your video with don't won't can't not . People ask stupid questions that are none of thier business. Majority of people can't talk without asking a question. They seem to think but they're entitled for you to answer their question. Especially cops people always asking why. Many times there is no why its the way it is. People ask a question and when you answer it they say are you sure. My answer is that is either one of two things my name is Scott. Or I say the questions been ask and answer. You can fall down or have an accident right in front of somebody and they'll ask are you okay. My answer is hell no I'm far from all right is that what you mean by okay are you all right that's a favorite word for cops okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay. Another stupid question is people say (you know) I always say how would I know when you haven't told me yet.
Why are you in the car???
Because the interior of my car is so aesthetically pleasing that my peeps demand it