YOU CAN CHANGE : PODCAST EPISODE 20
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- This is our podcast, "No Place Like Home", which gives us a chance to talk more in depth about how we parent, operate as a couple and a large family. We also talk about any other topic we've been thinking about! In this episode we talk about the inevitability of personal change and how it's okay to let yourself change.
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Megan you hit the nail on the head when you said “You learn how to learn” once you reach that point NOTHING can stop you! I think you both are amazing people raising equally amazing children ❤
I’ve said that about school. You are leaning how to learn. That is so true.
The love in the eyes of Mike when Megan explained her thoughts. So beautiful to see❤
I agree plus she very often does the same with him. They’re blessed to be one of the few couples where it’s palpable the love is equal and mutual.
Last year I was thinking of getting tested for ADHD and all these things and then I suddenly felt that I didn't want a label. I have lived over 40 years not knowing if I have that, so what would it change now? So I decided to stop trying to label myself with things and just be me. I have changed dramatically since 2019 and I don't hate it. It all happened due to trauma, but I am a better person and I feel more grounded than I ever had before. Loved this podcast. It is great to see it back.
I love when you said, "I can not be defined...Definitions keep us from growth."
Change, fosters growth. We all have more to us than we can see. Thank you for this beautiful reflection.
Love the podcast as well, but side note, Megan you look STUNNING LADY!!! Green 💚 is your color and the overall look is beautiful❤
I was just thinking the same thing. I love getting wardrobe ideas from Megan.☺️
I totally agree !! Megan looks stunning in this video !!
No need to apologize for life happening in your home. I feel that the hustle, bustle, noise, chaos and everything else adds to the wonderful family dynamic, it's likened to the glue that holds you all together. I love it. . 💗
This was timely and thought provoking.
What I will say though, on the flip side, is that sometimes not having a way of understanding ourselves and our experiences can be quite crushing, especially when we seem to be very different from others around us and we can feel very much on the outside looking in and also often shamed for being so very different in our makeup.
I went through all my childhood, teens and a large part of my adult life being incredibly sensitive to the energy of people and places. It was really tough because I could sense people with very distorted, traumatised, dark or manipulative dynamics and it made me feel very uncomfortable because what I was sensing wasn't apparent to others. Often my sensing would be born out by how these individuals later behaved.
I would also sense the historical energy imprint of buildings and would sometimes start to black out in places with a very violent history. Later on reading up about the history of the building or place, I would realise why I'd been so affected. Crowded places like shopping malls, cities, busy streets made me feel overwhelmedand bombarded... and hospitals have always traumatised me.
The hard thing about this was how much I was judged and shamed for being like this, both as a child and an adult. I felt very shamed for years and still have to work very hard to love and validate to myself, my unique experience of life, particularly when I still encounter being shamed and judged for being different.
It would have been helpful if someone around me as a child had recognised what was going on and validated what I was picking up on, because in retrospect I was always proved right. I didnt necessarily need a label like empath but it would have been very supportive and helpful to have had extra sensory abilities explained to me and to be supported and told there was nothing wrong or weak about me, as I went through these often very disturbing experiences.
I recognise how much identifying ourselves with a lable and as part of a group with the same label can become a limiting, safe box but I feel it's also important to understand that sometimes we need to feel we have a tribe somewhere if all we are experiencing in the mainstream world is judgement, shaming and prejudice. Sometimes finding a validating label is part of our process of rebuikding our worth as an individual, particularly if we have been ostracised.
Removing the labels is removing conflict and chaos.
That would be wonderful if it was true. " A rose by ant other name etcetc
I love the way Mike always looks at you. ❤
Aww came here to say that 🥰 he really loves and respects her and what she has to say. The look of love 😍
Megan, I've enjoyed watching you grow and shift and become burnished into a more authentically, confident, yet softer version of yourself. It's a beautiful thing to witness, and gives us permission to do the same.
We don't need all the answers until we need the answers. We need what we need for the day. Give us this day our daily bread. Just what we need today.
I like your thoughts on people putting themselves into boxes. At the risk of "going there" I think this is a big part of why America feels so politically at war these days. People decide they're a liberal or a conservative or whatever, and they make sure all their thoughts and beliefs can fit into that box. For me - I'm part of the LGBT community and I usually vote Democrat. AND YET here I am watching a Mormon family that I've been watching for years because we're on the same wavelength about so many things (especially parenting and homeschooling). And no, I don't agree with every talking point the Democrats or ANY political group uses. I know there are people out there who think they hate me because I'm in this or that group, but if they actually met me we'd get along. People's imaginations need to be bigger.
Do your own thing. Be who you are. No labels ❤
If you have faith in God, all of these tests and boxes we try to put ourselves in are totally self-focused. Even if we box ourselves in to seemingly make it easier on others to know us (which is why I did a few of those tests myself). Even then, you’re attempting to avoid discomfort in a relationship and that is still self-focus/self-preservation. God is not boxed in and we don’t need to box ourselves in and turn inward to “find ourselves”. In faith, our eyes should be focused on him, the one who created us. I realize not everyone will agree, this is just my thoughts on this. This was a very thought-provoking and encouraging episode…I’m sure it’s going to stick with me for a while. Also, my 17 year old son is currently fixing up a ‘65 Ford Ranchero with my husband and hearing what Mike had to say about learning new skills makes me so happy they’re able to do this together. Also a gifted car from an uncle! I hope you’ll share the kids’ progress in upcoming videos. Thanks for sharing all of this goodness and wisdom guys!
Personality assessments don't lump people into boxes, rather they measure your PREFERENCES. For example, I have both introvert and extrovert traits, but I lean toward Introvert. Personality is a very complex topic, as you stated, and it's recognized by behavioral science as not being able to capture one's personality completely.
I really like your points about personality tests. Some people really enjoy labeling themselves. We are all evolving as both of you say ✨
Agree.
For someone who is in the process of renovating there home at 65, I can totally relate. Love the podcast!!
I think it’s easy to say that these labels/ boxes don’t exist but you can apply the same logic to almost anything, especially religion which is exactly what your describing as group identity.
We are growing up / old with our kids . We are watching them grow up and they are watching us grow in our adulthood.. and everyone can and does teach each other stuff and change is constant!!! 🇨🇦😘🙏🏽👏🏽💙♥️🇮🇱👏🏽🇨🇦😘
My daughter and I watched the movie Groundhog Day on the day last week and he says “I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore.” That was so profound to me because that’s true for everyone. We are always trying to improve or change or try new things and in doing so we kill our old selves a little bit at a time to make a new self. And upon looking back that person years ago was you, but it’s not you anymore. That line just hit me so hard at a time of my life that I’m trying to make a variety of changes. So good!
Someone said:
Instead of people living together before marriage to see if they are compatible, renovate a house together. That will tell you all you need to know.
I’m so happy you are back to doing these videos. I love them. You have such good insight and even though I’m ahead of you in years, I still always take away some good information and encouragement to use in my life.
I’m SOOOOO excited for another podcast episode. Love to listen to you both. You two always have such a refreshing take on life that helps me feel less alone in the choices I’ve made for my own family. Thank you for sharing!
Amen to that! Same here!
Enjoyed the podcast. People seek who they identify with and understand. Not that it is truth. We’ve gone so far away from the truth with the self help reading that’s been rewritten from the Bible into other forms and religions that we no longer look to the one who gave us our life’s and purpose.
I love how eloquent Megan is....and Mike adoringly looking at her is everything ❤. Stay healthy and happy, guys.
I agree with everything you’ve said. It all makes sense. Love that I can watch this on you tube. The two of you are so inspiring.
So true! I was always upset when I had to take those tests at work. I always thought why would you want to put me in a box and try to describe who I am or who I should be. I wear many hats and with that comes different skills. I know who I am in Christ and that is all that matters.
The thing I love most about you guys is that you just do - even if you don’t know how to do something, that does not stop you, and now your kids are doing it also! Amazing!
I think this is one of my favorite of your podcasts!! So much expanded thinking to encourage and cheer here!! 💞
Really enjoyed your podcast on UA-cam this morning. Kinda like you sitting in MY living room giving me lots of food for thought!
What a beautiful conversation. Ty
I needed this. I've had so many diagnoses and life challenges that titles and definitions have been how I've identified myself. Life has gotten smaller for me, and very insular. This discussion today opens the door for new possibilities for me again. This has been more helpful than all theories and ideas I've heard for many years. I am me. 😊 ❤
Great comment.
I think the “identity” tangent went a little off the rails - but, yes, in general it’s good to not pigeonhole ourselves.
Definitely the "identity" tangent went may i say kindly more than a little off the rails. But i love watching your channel and family.
The podcast is baaaack! Yay! Always so thought-provoking.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde. I think self confidence plays a huge role in these paths we take to label ourselves or to create boxes for ourselves. I also home-school my kids, and we focus our day on self confidence, everyday, its the core of everything we do for us. I do this because that is a gift that allows us be free thinkers. It creates a space to have huge compassion for others, to not focus so much on our selfish wants or what serves us. It gives us the freedom to reach out into the dark, try new things, to question everything and create something from nothing. Loved listening to this podcast, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Keep going and keep sharing your message, maybe the world will be less moronic.
This was great, and so inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Love yah Nancy
What a great and timely podcast for me to listen to right now! I’ve been in a place of not knowing “what” I want to be now that I’m retired. I can now see that I’ve been looking to label myself so I could find my tribe and feel safe again. Thank you for this insightful conversation! ❤
I'm in a similar place to you.... really been thinking about it. I had to retire early through long term illness. I'm also often housebound which can be isolating. I've learnt new skills over the years like knitting, crochet, sewing, veg growing, making herbal remedies but realised these have become familiar same old, same old. Life has become pretty Groundhog Day and I've become limited in what I think I might be capable of doing and being and learning. Am really looking at all of this right now, so this video is really timely.
@siriusowl, it looks as if we are living parallel lives! I had to retire early because of a health situation too! Would love to connect with you.
Labels are such an interesting thing! Our brains naturally grasp for them to simplify the many split second decisions we have to make every day, hour, and even every minute. But they can be very hurtful if we trust the label and it turns out to be wrong. I love the idea I heard from someone in regards to parenting, but I think it applies to our whole lives. They talked about if you change a rule or a way you do things in your home and your children say something like “well you used to do this!” responding with “I reserve the right to be wiser today than I was yesterday” could be helpful.
For example, I used to lean HEAVILY on rewards with my kids, in an effort to try to get more of the desired behaviors and not focus on the negative by using punishments. I later learned that rewards and punishment were two sides of the same coin and that I couldn’t really employ one without the other and that I actually didn’t feel like that was serving our family anymore. So when we took away the sticker charts and point systems, the kids sometimes missed that and complained about not having it and I used that phrase and tried to help them understand why we were doing things a new way now. I use it with myself sometimes too when I feel the need to shed an old label.
Another example was when I first really dove deep into unschooling and felt drawn or led to it for my family. It was very helpful for me to identify what unschooling was and what it wasn’t, what it did look like and what it didn’t. And a few years later I started feeling held back by that label and like I wasn’t a real unschooling mom anymore if I did (fill in the blank). I think you guys were talking about this, maybe a year ago or a few years ago and talking about writing a book about your homeschooling philosophy. I’d love to bounce those kinds of ideas off of each other. We have a curriculum that we are following now, but only as it serves us and in the ways that work for us. I have decided that using that really does fit the basic principles of unschooling which I do want to stick to but maybe not what I originally thought unschooling looked like.
Just a few of my thoughts. 😊
I really enjoy your podcast and channel!
Glad the podcast is back! So many great topics to enjoy even as a single woman, I love the intent behind what y'all do. One of the books I was read to as a child has a similar message that made such a lasting impact and I love gifting now is titled You Are Special by Max Lucado. Thought your family might like it if y'all haven't read it already. Thanks for all the inspiration in making the world a better place one home at a time!
Yay! 🎉 So glad to see you guys back doing your podcast again. 😊
I love the podcast and I’m so happy I have yall to listen to again woohoo! ❤️
I love that you put your podcast on your channel! I'm hearing impaired, so I have a strong bias towards video ;) ;) ;)
Thanks for this!
All I’ll say is, good chat.😊
I loved this episode so much. I'm about the same age as you guys and I'm just barely the person I thought I would be when I was in my teens and twenties. I hope more podcast episodes are coming soon! I've missed them.
Thank you so much for putting the pod cast on the channel as well. It helps me to remember to listen.
You can't be whatever you want but you can try to be what ever you want. The difference is subtle but there.
I just watched Lessons in Chemistry on Apple+ and it was basically about what you are saying. The only constant is change. Who we are today is not who we will be tomorrow because something is always happening to change the core of who we are. I found that so profound. If you think back to the girl you were that is very different to the person you are and will continue to change to be.
I couldn't agree more that labels are so overused. I think there is help in identifying certain things about where we are each at in our journey, but thats not a permanent label. As Megan said, there are some labels such as wife, mother, etc that are lifelong, but how we live in that label changes over time. Labels are important in some circumstances (such as medical definititons - my son has autism for example) but that doesn't define who he is, just describes some of the struggles he has. I think that if we focus too much on who we identify with, we lose sight of who we are. I love your views and thought provoking discussions - love your podcast. I love following you and can't wait to see all the changes that are coming!
This is absolute gold. Love you guys! Thank you for being you!
I’m absolutely certain that Jesus is THE Truth!
I agree that we learn and change throughout life and embracing that helps us break free of certain labels we allowed ourselves to have. I have enjoyed seeing you all learning new things and exploring your abilities. Thank you for sharing your adventures with us!
Very interesting discussion. It seems that there is a dichotomy between those that have an understanding of there being one truth that applies to everyone vs life being vast and diverse enough for truth to be different for everyone. I do agree with the freedom from the confines of labels, but I think that also comes with allowing everyone to live as they are rather than forcing a specific truth you believe to be THE truth on others
I love truth also. When I was younger I believed what I was told but in this age of information ignorance is a choice. I love your family and look forward to seeing you guys evolve even more.
What an encouraging message!!! Thank you both!
Meg, you truly have come to a simple and basic thing… a truth of life. Labels are limiting and you are right… better to keep moving, doing, learning and less of the “ME” stuff and more about living in the moment, being present, being grateful and appreciative of people and things you are involved with and always striving to be better and learn more. And again, your hair has never looked better and you look more beautiful than ever. ♥️
I think it’s amazing how you tackle everything, faith is really working in you both. Megan I can remember the first “mobile” phones carried around in an attache suitcase 😳😉
You guys are also normalizing learning new things as an adult for all of us viewers!
It really resonated with me when you were talking about how all of the personality categories are not real. I like thinking about how almost everything that we humans think of as hard and fast truth is just something we made up, usually to try to improve a situation or make sense of something. I like teasing my dad, who is a retired judge, that all of the laws are made up. 😆 I mean, they are! Any medical diagnosis? Just a collection of signs and symptoms that we've assigned a name to. It's a good thought experiment to apply that idea to things like introvert/extrovert, enneagram, etc. Thanks for sharing! It was nice to have a new podcast from you guys.
I loved all you had to share in this video! Thank you for starting up your podcast again.
I wish everyone could agree with you that labels are so unnecessary. I couldn't agree more!!
What a wonderful video! Thank you.
This is great love it
Hey you both
More of this, really beautiful ramble and great subject x
People dont want to serve others they put themselves first that a big problem
Yes! This is great!
Follow the truth and not your truth. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life! ❤
Listening to you now I realized that you inspired me to chalk paint my couch, loveseat and bedroom set in 2020. It was a huge risk but they all turned out fantastic. It was wonderful to create something beautiful during a very difficult time in the world. I've continued to refinish furniture as a creative outlet and to beautify my home.
I think one reason some people like to identify as certain things is because we are wired to belong - wired to be in community. Because it can be so hard to find real, living alongside you community these days I think there are a lot of ppl desperate to be labeled, identified, and included.
One solution is going to be us getting back to in-person, real life connection where we're shoulder to shoulder, doing life with others. When we make it about *others* and not about *ourselves*, the labels and boxes will naturally fall away, as we find a place amongst friends and community who love and accept us.
Hospitality, open door policies, old school inviting ppl over for dinner, safe & engaged neighborhoods including front porch sittin... it all needs to come back so badly.
I loved the message and this episode!
I was diagnosed with bi polar disorder many many years ago. I never believed it and I didn't let it stop me. I had my moments when I questioned it all. I'm turning 60 on March 2nd and I took courage to go back to college and I'm currently taking my first course. I've been so overweight over the years that I couldn't tie my shoes. My major in college is coach and personal trainer hopefully some day I can help someone be able to do the simple task of bending over to tie their shoe. Being in college these days I had to take a crash course in computer because I never took a hybrid class. This is my third week in and I'm feeling empowered and more confident as each week goes by.
I am so proud of you! You got this!!!!!
@debbielopez6593 thank you. It means alot to me.
This was really helpful. I am an older Mom to little kids and I have ADHD. One of my daughters was diagnosed with it too and as she gets older we are facing new challenges. I love that as she gets older I can share this wisdom with her as she struggles. We homeschool so it is easier to meet her needs and to teach her strategies for managing her life. I love how you said we don’t need to fit into these made up categories. For example: the narrative “ I am an anxious person” well everyone gets nervous and that is okay. It doesn’t mean that I am an anxious person. Thanks for sharing your insights.
This message really resonates with me. Thanks for posting.
Thank you ❤
This whole podcast was meant for me! It literally describes my life currently. Thank you soooooooooo much for giving me courage to step out and learn and try something new!
My favorite thing I’ve seen on the internet today!!!!!! So glad for more podcast content ❤
We are ever changing and ever learning. ❤
Brilliant. Many Blessings
I love you guys. ❤️
Mike you are too modest. What you, Megan and your kids have achieved is awesome. I love your home. It’s full of style and colour. ❤ totally agree about introvert/extrovert!
Very thought provoking.
Being 20yrs older I found myself thinking this is a lot of what I was thinking back then those 20yrs ago. The thing is I still do think of some of them but labels have gone,change is continually evolving.
You do learn more of who you are which is nice.
I think you're right Mike learning from you're children but also your parents helps a great deal,I was learning from my 90yr old grandmother just a few years to before she died.
Our identities are changing as we learn as you mentioned Megan that the core of us could change and it can especially as we learn new skills sometimes not so good experiences we change.
Its such a interesting subject.
Very thought provoking. Sometimes we prefer to let others influence our opinions, rather than use our own agency.
You’ve just said a lot of things I’ve thought over the years without really defining it in my head. 😎👍🏻
You can try to be whatever you want certainly.
Yes, people become fixed/ stuck in the labels.
Megan, I say this sincerely: you are going to age so beautifully and gracefully, and I’m sure with a thankful heart. BUT you are also one of those people who will never be old, even as the lovely lines and silvery hair start to become prominent and your physical body changes. Your heart will forever be young.
Just hit play and cant wait! Im a city girl, no kids (but married for three years) and have been with you for years... Love you both and thank you! ❤❤❤ Oh, I just looked and Meg you are soooo tiny!! You both look fabulous 🤩
Megan, I totally understand that "old mom in the group" feeling. I'm 49 and my kids range from 20 to 8 years. Most moms my age are moving into the empty nest stage, while I've got a decade of active mothering ahead of me. Which often puts me in activities with moms who are 15-20 years younger than me. Every once in a while I'm abruptly reminded that I'm the "old mom" in the group. lol!
Great Podcast!!! Thank You!
I thought this was an amazing podcast. An old friend of mine used to say every 5 years. She was amazed how different she was in the things she learned. When you are talking about learning new skills. Oh my goodness years ago when I became a single mom, The things that I learned the people that helped things were able to fix my children and I is amazing. Many times even things that I was able to fix and do in our home even by myself. Just because I stepped out and learned. I also love the way Mike looks at you.
Great podcast.
Do you have a playlist of the building process? I’ve loved all your home building process.
22:33 That is so so true.. we are still wrapping our head around the fact that our house just sold for a million and seventy. It really doesn’t mean a lot these days.
Good stuff. I want my kids to watch it. Mike is so sweet how he lovingly listens and encourages. You guys are great examples of loving yourself and kids and community.
I’d like to add. How did you guys embrace LDS church so well? Seems to have benefited you a lot, but many don’t.
I think labels like Myers Briggs, Autistic, whatever can be helpful in understanding ourselves, but like you said, not to be completely defined by them. They are there to serve us and our understanding not to be boxed in.
❤Absolutely loved this , watched here on UA-cam. This is just a very elegant and delicate approach to the conversation about identity! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us! Please never stop ❤️
Yaaaaaay!
I am so pleased to see the lovely relationship you have. You make strange situations work and are supportive of each other and your children. It’s lovely to watch you.
Interesting podcast, and Megan your hair is beautiful.!
I sure wish I lived closer to you guys. I have been following your channel for about 6 or 7 years. I don’t know for sure but it was during your RV days. It feels like we’re friends, even though I know more about you than you do me. That sounds odd.😂😂😂 If you ever travel to SoCal, it’d be fun to meet you guys. I have started a small channel but only just for fun. Nothing special.😊
You guys are so cute ❤
Finding a place is not what we came into the world for...for what is a place but some place to rest for awhile.....we come into the world alone to discover and roam,find seek and grow we leave full of knowledge , ideas , dreams, discoveries, love, loss, bruises ...label become someone else's possession, boxes become jail cells, tribes, become chains around our ankles.......labels are not freedom......freedom is growth , grown is movement.....
its bacccccck!
Megan, you sure are a deep thinker
Lol! When talking about Home Depot and having to go back for things, i worked at a home improvement store ( Menards) and even contractors would come in for things thst they forgot. Also, they trained us well there, so that we would be able to mention items to the guest they would need or might need for their project so that they wouldnt have to come back for items forgotten. Think you two do an amazing job with projects and raising equally amazing people.
Welcome Back You Two plus Kiddos…..