I don’t agree. I am an avoidant and we deserve love as well. We communicate differently. We are guarded, suspicious, and annoyed by over emotional people. We value freedom because we have learned to be self-reliant.
I think so too, here i am breaking my back for crumbs. Nah if it's not meant to be it isn't n.thats ok. He can't loss himself, i can't loss myself either
@@Jessiethegirl23am sorry i really am but loving you guys comes at a cost for the anxious ones. Try looking for SECURE individuals because it's just torture wat you guys put us through. Cn U even listen to your request...y'all jus impossible 😢😢😢am sorry
You should work on healing yourself instead of expecting another person to be accomodating to your issues while ignoring their wants and needs in the process@@Jessiethegirl23
Ya i mean who in the world would want a small talk relationship where you can't express feelings and your point of view...? 😄 It sounds like a disaster and it is. I think we should stop adapting to avoidant people and instead let them know that they need therapy.
100%!! You nailed it. I wasted years on a dismissive avoidant. They are broken A.F. ~ simply not capable of the kind of vulnerability required for a true relationship. Alex was right when he said they are only interested in the dating phase. It doesn't go deeper than that! Fleeting fantasy is easier to pursue/obtain than dealing with reality.
I've been with a dismissive avoidant man for 15 months and he's had me so confused that I don't even know what's up or what's down and this topic actually resonates with me and you helped me a lot❤
I literally do EVERYTHING alone. If for some reason I'm able to convince him to do something with me, he makes issues when we are out so I won't want to go out with him again.
This helped!! I think I saved the relation after this video! 😅♥️ I did exactly the opposite in a text before and now I corrected it. Thank you soooo much!! I have never been explained this before. He is avoidant, truly, and I loooove him!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Even I had very hard time making him try to understand the way I feel.... The distance keeps growing everytime I talk about emotions.... I will act accordingly now. 😂 He is a simple person to me now... Totally... I know there is lot of love between us.... One time he is full of love and another time he is acting like a stranger
Don't ever abandon yourself and your wants and needs for another person . Avoidant people need healing , they need to take responsibility for their issues if they want to be in a mutually satisfying relationship . Life is way too short to bend over backwards for another persons dysfunctional way of interacting . If you are prone to bending yourself into a pretzel or jumping through hoops to accomodate another individuals pathology then work on yourself , get some energy healing and focus on self love and self worth . No other human is worth this much effort . Choose happiness because life is gone in a flash and relationships should not be this demanding .
It’s so hard when you’re older (although a young, pretty 63, who drove him wild during sex for so many years), but don’t date like the younger ones do/are able to, yet he’s all into the dating scene now and talking to women, young and old, on social media, from ALL over the world since it’s SO darn available now… like he’s having a mid-life crisis at 65… a complete sensationalist. I’ve realized this now, and cannot look at any of it anymore or it makes me sick, but am so glad I found out. I’m not a “dater” nor do I want him after he is now sleeping around. Old fashioned, perhaps, but true 🥺💔. Alex and Adrian have helped me more than you’ll ever know… thank you ❤️.
I have tried EVERYTHING because I do really truly love him. Not needy, but true love. And even though my gut tells me he feels the same he treats me abominably and even says so. The best times we have, the week after he will disappear completely. Tell me and list everything wrong with me. Telling himself why it will not work. I have to take all of this and just say in my heart, in my gut, I know he does not actually mean it. Because when you have a deep connection with someone, they can be mean and they can say what they want, but all you hear is "I am afraid."
Well as Alex says they are not toxic, they are just different. If I knew he were bad bad, I wouldn't do it. But it's more, I say tomato he says potato....... By the way we are both called Amy H!!! 😊 @@pix1chick
You're pushing your feelings down when he behaves abominably and you should be Done. I know you believe you can work through it, stay anyway, try to approach with understanding. I'm telling you right now enduring his abusive behavior WILL begin to rewire your brain. It doesn't matter if you know why or can rationalize it. Your subconscious knows you are staying close to someone who is harmful to you. If you proceed you will feel effects with mental changes/illness and even the physical manifestations which are illnesses.
Dealing with an avoidant man is just too much, I’m a Nigerian and I’m dealing with one myself, the question is how long should one keep waiting for him to come around and want to commit.
I know exactly how to deal with an avoidant man. The most beautiful male I'd ever seen in my life, even to this very day, gave me some sage advice decades ago. He said to never call a man. Never. He said that if a dude wants you, he will come to you. Do not ever call him. If you return his call/text, let some time lapse before you do. When you see him, be your usual wonderful self. When he's not around, love your life, pay attention to your career, your support system, learn yoga, exercise regularly, play your favorite music. Do these things so that when / if /when / if he starts to get distant or ghosts you, not touch bases with you in some days, just understand that it's not you. He's crazy and you're livin' your best life. If he begins to want more of your time, then make some suggestions as to what you need from him in order to put your eggs in his basket. If he's not down for some counseling and doesn't want you bad enough to work on his behavior, then he's not the one. Case closed.
Is the proposed solution to accept and be happy in a relationship where communication and closeness aren’t an option? Never have our needs met in order to be with him? How depressing.
I have a good friend who has an avoidant attachment style. I want to be more than friends, but he says he wants friends only Ok is I do not chase, but what can I do to want him to want me? Or if he says only friends there will never be anything more?
Hi there! I know Coach Alex would love to help you with this but he would need to know a little more about what you're going through in order to help you through this. I would highly suggest you book a coaching session with me using this link: www.frenchrelationshipexpert.com/coaching/ -FRE Team
I wish I had watched this video before making assumptions, and addressing my concerns with him. It only created an argument. And now he’s super distant with me.
50 days of no contact, I am still blocked. Will he come back? He is an avoidant person. I was more serious than him.he never talked serious but he was committed.i was trying to be more attached but he never said anything suddenly he said he doesn't have any future plans with me. I was shocked.i love him so much. Before one month of breakup he was saying he wanted to stay forever with me . Then suddenly way happened i don't know. What should I do?
The best revenge for this kind of lovelessness is to Live your best life, become super independent, put your eggs in as many baskets as you can! Self love is the key
I'm dating for two month avoidant man my god he control her emotion i dont know wht he want until I'm tired so I walk away he never give signal he control his emotion
This description of a person who hates the idea of a relationship and just wants to flirt for rest of life..... I'm like. Fuck that. I've hung in 5 years but I'm sick of it now.
I personally think, @alexcormont means the avoidant attachment males. These are attachment styles. You, as a female also have an attachment style. Google will provide you with great answers. 😉
I think my ex is an avoidant he never expressed his feelings when we have small fights it takes him time to make amends and he barely apologize.@ coach Alex
The thing about an avoidant man is that I can see the love but he hides it all the time
Leave him for good, and never come back. Life is too short for dealing with this kind of people who will only cause you hurt! Believe me, I know...
Me too….. easier with others…
I don’t agree. I am an avoidant and we deserve love as well. We communicate differently. We are guarded, suspicious, and annoyed by over emotional people. We value freedom because we have learned to be self-reliant.
I think so too, here i am breaking my back for crumbs. Nah if it's not meant to be it isn't n.thats ok. He can't loss himself, i can't loss myself either
@@Jessiethegirl23am sorry i really am but loving you guys comes at a cost for the anxious ones. Try looking for SECURE individuals because it's just torture wat you guys put us through. Cn U even listen to your request...y'all jus impossible 😢😢😢am sorry
You should work on healing yourself instead of expecting another person to be accomodating to your issues while ignoring their wants and needs in the process@@Jessiethegirl23
Ya i mean who in the world would want a small talk relationship where you can't express feelings and your point of view...? 😄 It sounds like a disaster and it is.
I think we should stop adapting to avoidant people and instead let them know that they need therapy.
100%!! You nailed it. I wasted years on a dismissive avoidant. They are broken A.F. ~ simply not capable of the kind of vulnerability required for a true relationship. Alex was right when he said they are only interested in the dating phase. It doesn't go deeper than that! Fleeting fantasy is easier to pursue/obtain than dealing with reality.
I've been with a dismissive avoidant man for 15 months and he's had me so confused that I don't even know what's up or what's down and this topic actually resonates with me and you helped me a lot❤
it is so hard....I just want to tell him I love him and him love me back...but oh no that is too easy
I literally do EVERYTHING alone. If for some reason I'm able to convince him to do something with me, he makes issues when we are out so I won't want to go out with him again.
Best video I’ve seen on this subject. Answered my questions so concisely and clearly. Thank you!!
Thank you so much for watching! I appreciate your support!
Don’t try to communicate with him what the hell.🙄 They need to have a relationship with goldfish or something.
😂
😂yes
Noooo!!! They are even horrible with animals and give them the same treatment
😂😂😂
I LOVE IT!! So true 😂😂😂😂
This helped!! I think I saved the relation after this video! 😅♥️ I did exactly the opposite in a text before and now I corrected it. Thank you soooo much!! I have never been explained this before. He is avoidant, truly, and I loooove him!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Thank you so much for watching! I appreciate this!
Even I had very hard time making him try to understand the way I feel.... The distance keeps growing everytime I talk about emotions.... I will act accordingly now. 😂 He is a simple person to me now... Totally... I know there is lot of love between us.... One time he is full of love and another time he is acting like a stranger
Don't ever abandon yourself and your wants and needs for another person . Avoidant people need healing , they need to take responsibility for their issues if they want to be in a mutually satisfying relationship . Life is way too short to bend over backwards for another persons dysfunctional way of interacting . If you are prone to bending yourself into a pretzel or jumping through hoops to accomodate another individuals pathology then work on yourself , get some energy healing and focus on self love and self worth . No other human is worth this much effort . Choose happiness because life is gone in a flash and relationships should not be this demanding .
RUN 🏃♀️
No more….. thanks for making this so abundantly clear that it isn’t worth the effort….
It’s so hard when you’re older (although a young, pretty 63, who drove him wild during sex for so many years), but don’t date like the younger ones do/are able to, yet he’s all into the dating scene now and talking to women, young and old, on social media, from ALL over the world since it’s SO darn available now… like he’s having a mid-life crisis at 65… a complete sensationalist. I’ve realized this now, and cannot look at any of it anymore or it makes me sick, but am so glad I found out. I’m not a “dater” nor do I want him after he is now sleeping around. Old fashioned, perhaps, but true 🥺💔. Alex and Adrian have helped me more than you’ll ever know… thank you ❤️.
Never tolerate an avoidant man. Focus on yourself. Know what you want.
Thank you. This clarifies the fact that it’s not worth dealing with.
I avoid the AVOIDANT MAN
HE IS A TURN OFF TO ME.
NO MATTER THE ATTRACTION!!!
It’s hard not to take their behavior personal. Because there are people out there who treat people this way and it is personal.
I have tried EVERYTHING because I do really truly love him. Not needy, but true love. And even though my gut tells me he feels the same he treats me abominably and even says so. The best times we have, the week after he will disappear completely. Tell me and list everything wrong with me. Telling himself why it will not work. I have to take all of this and just say in my heart, in my gut, I know he does not actually mean it. Because when you have a deep connection with someone, they can be mean and they can say what they want, but all you hear is "I am afraid."
His fear is his job to overcome. Don't get stuck fixing. You deserve a partner, not a project.
Well as Alex says they are not toxic, they are just different. If I knew he were bad bad, I wouldn't do it. But it's more, I say tomato he says potato....... By the way we are both called Amy H!!! 😊 @@pix1chick
You're pushing your feelings down when he behaves abominably and you should be Done.
I know you believe you can work through it, stay anyway, try to approach with understanding.
I'm telling you right now enduring his abusive behavior WILL begin to rewire your brain. It doesn't matter if you know why or can rationalize it. Your subconscious knows you are staying close to someone who is harmful to you.
If you proceed you will feel effects with mental changes/illness and even the physical manifestations which are illnesses.
Dealing with an avoidant man is just too much, I’m a Nigerian and I’m dealing with one myself, the question is how long should one keep waiting for him to come around and want to commit.
Can I have your number so we can share updates and what worked...have been with mine for 2yrs. The more I understand him, d less triggered I get.
I know exactly how to deal with an avoidant man. The most beautiful male I'd ever seen in my life, even to this very day, gave me some sage advice decades ago. He said to never call a man. Never. He said that if a dude wants you, he will come to you. Do not ever call him. If you return his call/text, let some time lapse before you do. When you see him, be your usual wonderful self. When he's not around, love your life, pay attention to your career, your support system, learn yoga, exercise regularly, play your favorite music. Do these things so that when / if /when / if he starts to get distant or ghosts you, not touch bases with you in some days, just understand that it's not you. He's crazy and you're livin' your best life. If he begins to want more of your time, then make some suggestions as to what you need from him in order to put your eggs in his basket. If he's not down for some counseling and doesn't want you bad enough to work on his behavior, then he's not the one. Case closed.
Too much investment with little to no return. It's a no for me after putting up with it for 13 months. Next.
Just be another avoidant = perfect match
Dear Alex so true .I have dealt with this for long long time.thank you so much it is an enlightenment,and tremendous help.
I've codependency in my relationship with avoidant and It's so painful and difficult😢
You can't avoid the real talk for years. This advice is fine in the initial stage but if it goes on for years...
Is the proposed solution to accept and be happy in a relationship where communication and closeness aren’t an option? Never have our needs met in order to be with him? How depressing.
This is exactly what I needed to understand 🌷🌷🌷thank you Alex!
Thank you so much for your comment!
Same here. Very helpful!
I have a good friend who has an avoidant attachment style.
I want to be more than friends, but he says he wants friends only
Ok is I do not chase, but what can I do to want him to want me?
Or if he says only friends there will never be anything more?
Hi there! I know Coach Alex would love to help you with this but he would need to know a little more about what you're going through in order to help you through this. I would highly suggest you book a coaching session with me using this link:
www.frenchrelationshipexpert.com/coaching/
-FRE Team
How can you marry a person like this if he won't commit?
I wish I had watched this video before making assumptions, and addressing my concerns with him. It only created an argument. And now he’s super distant with me.
This is raw truth
He doesn’t wanna talk about his feelings, and just want small talk? Why bother?
Sometimes it can be hard for a man to open up about his feelings. How long have you been dating him?
50 days of no contact, I am still blocked. Will he come back? He is an avoidant person. I was more serious than him.he never talked serious but he was committed.i was trying to be more attached but he never said anything suddenly he said he doesn't have any future plans with me. I was shocked.i love him so much. Before one month of breakup he was saying he wanted to stay forever with me . Then suddenly way happened i don't know. What should I do?
Just be strong God bless 🙏🙏🙏🙏
The best revenge for this kind of lovelessness is to Live your best life, become super independent, put your eggs in as many baskets as you can! Self love is the key
He needs to be ALONE!
Yeah, leave him ALONE! Lol
We're already BF/GF and all of these things are true.
Hi coach alex love ur work good evening 😊
they sound like hardwork alex
Alex je ne sais plus 😢
I'm dating for two month avoidant man my god he control her emotion i dont know wht he want until I'm tired so I walk away he never give signal he control his emotion
Will an avoidant want to be in a long term relationship?
He is perfect for women like Alex said, just don't be human.
☺️merci
Ils ma dit qu’ils m’aime beaucoup maintenant on ne parle moins 😢
Thank you
This description of a person who hates the idea of a relationship and just wants to flirt for rest of life..... I'm like. Fuck that. I've hung in 5 years but I'm sick of it now.
What if he fears intimacy 😅 sometimes I don’t even know if he finds me attractive!!
He don't love me
I personally think, @alexcormont means the avoidant attachment males. These are attachment styles.
You, as a female also have an attachment style. Google will provide you with great answers. 😉
I think my ex is an avoidant he never expressed his feelings when we have small fights it takes him time to make amends and he barely apologize.@ coach Alex
Do avoidant love??@coach Alex.cause I’m loosing hope since we’ve been on this back and forth and his not saying he loves me or wants me back