What Is Depression? This Is What A Depressive Episode Looks Like (Trigger Warning)
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- I had a depressive episode last week and I wanted to share it with you - not to gain sympathy but to SHOW YOU what it's like when depression gets the best of me AND to remind you that we are all HUMAN.
We will all have times where we're too tired to fight and our own minds get the better of us. I used to be in this mental state for MONTHS on end - now I am able to pull myself out of this state in a matter of days. It is possible to gain control of your mental health and progress on your healing journey!
TRIGGER WARNING:
If you are easily triggered or are feeling particularly vulnerable, then at 10 minutes you can skip to my end message at 16:23, or read the transcript below instead:
"Depression is a feeling of nothingness. It is having an amazing day and coming home and not wanting to live anymore. It is a cloak that wears you, a cloak that covers you, weighing you down and no one else can see it and you don't understand why no one else can see it. It is like a hollowness. Like if someone were to come up and touch you - their hand would go straight through you because there's nothing there. It is a feeling of utter loneliness when surrounded by everybody that you love. It is the worst thing that you could experience because it is both nothing and every single moment of pain you've ever felt all in one, and it's something that you know will come back even when you are okay again, and you know that there is no cure. It is something that will haunt you when you sleep, and it will haunt you when you are awake. It is something that will keep you awake, because you know that when you wake up you'll have to feel it again, and you'd rather sleep forever. It is darkness, it is sorrow, it is indescribable. It is an indescribable pit in the base of your stomach. Like a stone, like a heavy stone in your stomach that just sits there, and you can forget about it for a little bit - but when you're alone and it's quiet and you've got nothing else to do, you feel it. And I am - pause I am so tired. I am so tired of holding on. But I don't have anything to hold on to. I don't have anything to hold on to. And I'm so tired. Depression is a heaviness. It is feeling like pause feeling like you're trying to run through water and you're trying to run as fast as you can, and you can't move very fast, because there's something dragging you down that you can't shake off. And it is exhausting, living a life that you don't see value in - that you don't see worth in. It is chaos in your mind, like string all tied in knots and you know that if you sat and worked your way through every single one of those knots - managed to unravel them, that it would only last for a short while, and as soon as you put them back in your pocket - they're back in knots. And yet you keep taking them out and you keep unravelling them until your fingers are raw and bleeding. And you keep putting them back in your pocket knowing that you'll have to do the same thing tomorrow and wondering - how? Wondering how many more days you'll have to spend unravelling that string. Until you...*pause* it's like knowing you'll have to unravel that string for the rest of your life, and wondering - not if, but When the day will come where you are too tired to move your fingers. I'm tired. I'm so tired."
You will have times when you fall down and succumb to exhaustion as I did, but the only thing that matters is that you GET BACK UP!
Love Jojo Xxx
**Please note that I am not a medical professional and that you should always seek professional guidance for any health issues you face.
Wellness blog:
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Blog Post - 'Trust The Process' -
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Blog Post - 'How To Set & Maintain Boundaries' -
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Can I love this video? Tears and heart warming! The realness, the words, the banter, and the advice. You can help so many with your authenticity- so proud of you my sister 💖
Well done girl ❤❤ so so proud 🥰
You're so inspirational. I feel like you just taught me so much about depression that I couldn't have understood through words. Keep going
Thank you Queen 😘 😘 I'm glad I could share my experiences with you!
Seeing you cry made me cry! I hope it gets better for you Joanna xx it’s very brave of you to put it out there. Thanks for showing us x
Thank you for watching & supporting! I know it's a hard watch Xxx
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This is a great video. You should post more often, you could be really successful at UA-cam if you wanted :p
Thank you for the boost is confidence & the nudge 🥰