4 Reasons why a Narcissist starts to INSULT you
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- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
- Narcissists are some of the most insulting people on the planet. In this video you get the perspective of a diagnosed narcissist on the top 4 reasons why a narcissist might start insulting you or trying to put you down and hurt your feelings.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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Thank you so much
1) You’re alive
2) You’re in proximity
3) You had a boundary
4) You spoke a thought
😰
So true. I knew that I was pissing him off just by breathing😔.
Damn u right but... damn 😭
5) You asked an innocuous question.
Ex. I was undecided about what to make for dinner, so I innocently asked my ex narc if he had a preference, chicken or pork chops? His response was like a nuclear blast, seriously. Instantly raging at the highest possible volume, cursing, name-calling. I only remember the mind-numbing explosion, and the instant flood of tears drenching my face.
@@waywardstitch8604 should of gave him shit to eat, sorry for your tears, you didn’t do anything wrong you’re a good person ❤️
Healthy ppl who are happy don't insult you. Ever.
Yep. 👍🏻
AMEN!
They don't feel the need to. When we know who we are and are happy in life, we don't look for opportunities to put others down. We actually try to build others up, in spite of themselves. But narcissists will take offense like you insulted them, anyway, because then that puts you down and elevates them. The one I know will say, "Stop! I'm a grown man! Don't talk to me like I'm a child!" He will go off on this tangent for me saying something like, "Sometimes a key won't work in the lock if it gets corroded, so you may want to......" So, I say, "Fine. So you have done that?" "I don't have any WD40!" So I say, "You don't need WD40 to lubricate a key. You can just take....." "Don't preach to me! It's an insult!" Yadda, yadda, yadda. By that time I've gotten back in my car and am pulling away.
@yellowbird5411 that's right. That negativity and attitude though, are something we need to walk away from in the beginning.
@@tranquility9325 I do, now, the first hint I get of rudeness. He's a tenant.
The only way a narcissist can feel they have value is by devaluing others.
You just defined a bully. 😇
💯 I’ve come to this conclusion too. They’re inner dialogue is super spiteful and hella envious. They totally live life through projection. Never apologizes and compliments. Just lies and manipulates
@@iamsoohappy without gratitude - entitled.
@@iamsoohappy I realized that about my wife regarding no apologies and never complimenting about anything. I always thought that that was weird. I always had a nice thing to say about her and she never reciprocated. Now I understand why...
They do it, because they are INSECURE and JEALOUS
😫
pitiful. sad.
BIG TIME THAT PART
Yuuuuupp
Such cowards also
Another thing they do is put you down & pose them as jokes! Then tell you you're just too sensitive when you don't find it funny
Oh yes ! This is the way it is with me
So how should you handle the next time it’s done to you
@@elfredyamcgowan9300 Just look stone faced like it doesn't affect you or you could go to the other extreme and laugh hysterically and that would really piss them off 🤣🤣 but if something like this happens often and it's damaging you work on an exit strategy
Yep
Yes, use the gray rock method. It's hard to learn to do, but highly effective. @@dememurphy7859
So basically they punish you for caring about them 😒
twisted, eh?
thank you for putting it in those words
Bingo!
That’s what it feels like!
They do!
My ex told me that he downed me and insulted me, to make me a better person and to make me a stronger person. All he did was break my spirit and self worth
My mother told my siblings the same thing about how she treated me.
Man this sounds just like me kids father. He always said he’s trying to help me be stronger but I said it’s the way you come off it feels like I’m being Shamed and put down and he’ll say “I just say the truth and you don’t like it” or “ you just don’t get what I’m saying”
@@MoonWarriorTurtle6636 🙏🙏😢😢😢 I'm so sorry
@@mariahwatson1654 my son father always said I didn't get him or understand what he was saying like I was dumb
My 65yo narc sis recently thanked my 90yo narc mom for constantly abusing her, because she said the abuse made her so much stronger. 🙄 Sis has no clue she is herself a raging covert friendless narc who hates everybody, and who everybody hates. IOW, she's a similar replica of mom. Sis gets why I want nothing to do with mom, but can't understand why I want nothing to do with her. 🤔
In short, they are EXTREMELY broken, toxic, and dysfunctional! They want you to be the EXACT same way!!
Heavy on this one!
I agree totally!
They are very envious people. They hate your greatness, so they try to break you down and make you feel less than even though you are awesome.
I’ve been married to a woman for a year and I’m terrified of her. She screams at me for nothing. She tells me if I close a drawer too fast or I open a door too loudly. She’s made me afraid to move a muscle. It’s over. I can’t live like this.
Yep they make you walk on eggshells
Damn man, you deserve better than that. Get out now before you invest anymore emotionally and financially.
I live above neighbors like this, I'm sorry you're so much closer. I couldn't imagine the stress you're under
😂 I laugh cuz I can totally relate, I unfortunately had to finally check out after 8 years of marriage, not knowing in the beginning what type of person I was dealing with.
Unfortunately I'm not completely free bcuz we have 2 small children,but thank heavens I don't have to wake up to her🤷🏾♂️
My partner did that to me after after I'd clean the house.
Because they feel bad about themselves, and we are TOO PERFECT for them.....LITERALLY !!
‼️‼️
smh
Straight up 👌🏼
You are a complete joke and butt hurt judgemental sick **** I am a Christian so I'm gonna handle this like Jesus would ..pray for yourself and others and ask God to give u wisdom and heal u , I been seeking God and healing from a PSYCHOPATH which is 100 times worst than a wounded animal such as a narcissist, psychopaths are evil conscious demon monsters that can destroy a narcissist so imagine seek God he created us all and he can free us all AMEN ✊️🙏🙌🫶
And I'm speaking to @helenjohnson who swear u perfect cause the word saids ain't no one perfect sis plz sat down 😒😏😆🤭😌😒🙄😬
No one:
Narcissist: You know you ain’t ish right?
Them: "You think you're so dam cute?"
Me: "No, YOU think I'm so damn cute... I'm also sexy. " 😅😅😅 I got under his skin once I figured out what he was attempting to do.
Me to narc: K
@leighleigh8725😂😂😂 mine told me I needed a facelift 😫😫😂🧐😭
@@MissesOGyeah then says others are better looking than you. While this others ain't devouring me just her 😂😂. Then gets mad because a women younger is attractive she says she just fake , fake ass , gold digger . I'm just listening noticing I'm not the one who insults her or talk down on her but she can like tf
Basically- if you were born and you breathe air…. You’ll get insulted.
well said!!!!
The ex Narc I was with, was FAT, He needed a hip replacement, and he had a medical condition called Leaky Gut, he is Diabetic. He would talk about me wearing a lace front wig, kid you not, most people wear wigs but, he would try to put me down about wearing wigs. My clothing fits me great, I wear nice perfume; when people compliment me, he waits for them to leave and he would try to say negative thing about me. Because it was not him getting the compliments he hated for anyone to say nice things about me. I continued to look good and dumped his ass. What you are saying Lee is so TRUE. I have no contact with that idiot anymore, the last time he saw me, he just stared at me, and I walked past him as if he did not exist. Loving the way I feel and look. NARC FREE AND HAPPY He is so Fat now, he has to walk with a cane
😂😂😂😂😂
Good for you, girl! ❤❤❤💪💪👍👍👊👊👊👏👏🙌🙌
They are unable to reflect. I am sure he thought he was attractive in his head.
This cracked me up! You go girl! Yes he clearly was Delusional! 🤪
My suspicion is - these people are waaay aware of how physically repulsive they are!!! But they can't carry the shame of their own repulsion, so they try to get their loved(loathed) ones to bear it for them
My experience is...if you disagree, don't comply or stay firm in your boundaries....you will get backlash, put down and or antagonized.
So true. When I said I couldn't keep spending as much money as I was on activities, food, whatever she got so defensive. It was the second "argument" we had after being criticised for being "late" before we were meant to be going on a weekend away. It was such a mindfuck.
They know they cant control you.
They know they are beneath you- in every way that exhibits decent human traits.
As such, it makes them feel better about themselves to attack someone who triggers them.
no triggering is even necessary for the attack!!!
@@ItsSoarTime something in their mind makes them feel inclined to become abusive.
Triggering doesnt necessarily mean that a person external ti the narc has to actually do or day something to set them off. The narcs own thoughts can serve as the trigger for their sick behavior
My husband puts me down all the time. He throws a tantrum when I don’t do or give him what he wants. He calls me a bag of bones I just got done with chemo, I’m ugly, I’m a bitch, evil etc etc
@@borndreamer2735 ty
@@Nhospedales22- Sorry you are dealing with that. You are beautiful. Praying 🙏🙏 for you to go into remission.
Especially when they laugh after they tear you up
Right. 🙃
You nailed it!!!! Then they always look back up to see if it bothers you. “I was just joking” smh
Yes. This! It’s Unbelievable.
@@3y3z2see- Can't tell you how many times in the 18 years I heard that exact statement. Then turn around and say you're too sensitive.
@@misskaren6730 we’re not too sensitive they’re too sadistic
I've never insulted or spoken badly about them. I've always uplifted them! I did everything I could to help and was still devalued. It was honestly sad to witness them rage out.
ME TOO!!!!!!! ME TOO!!!!! because that's me and that's how i do EVERYONE!!!! i encourage, uplift ... with him especially, my hyper-empathy just...poured out!!!! he knew whom he was dealing with and thankfully managed to keep a tight leash on any verbal insults like calling me a B or similar ...
@@ItsSoarTime complimenting the narcissist was like sending water down a drain with no pipe. They don't even love themselves so they don't feel the love that we give to them. It hurt to experience that.
My wife is extremely critical of every do. Accuses me of being sneaky and all the while, it’s actually her who is being sneaky and secretive. I feel sad for her.
@@odilialinares9503 it's scary when they do that because they're telling on themselves.
@@xavierking6639 DAMN. this one hit..mine was always complaining about me not pouring enough love into him when I literally gave my all until there was nothing left. he straight up could not receive it!
They hate they own self.
🎯
They are projecting how they actually feel about themselves on to you, which is self-loathing and shame, guilt, and fear. In addition to insecurities.
🔥 the insults out of the blue used to confused the heck outta me. Like bro what? Im literally sitting here minding my damn business, quiet, not bothering anyone or anything. Crazy
🔥
smh!!!!
Wow! That's the same thing that happened to me!!!! At least I know I'm not the only one. That's why I'm cutting her off cause The Lord finally confirmed in multiple ways that she is a Narcissistic person (which I did not realize until recently) and that I need to get away from her as soon as possible. So that's what I'm doing and I feel so much better for it. May God Almighty help everyone on this channel gets liberated from the Narcissistic people in their life. My Lord & Savior Jesus Christ is helping me through it cause there's no way I can do it without Him. I'm praying for everyone on this channel. God bless you all. ❤️🙏🕊🔥⏰️
@bethselah7570 you're not alone. I was left second-guessing my every move. It has been almost a year since I blocked him, and I'm thankful to God for opening my eyes. Idk how many times during the relationship "God is not the author of confusion" ran through my head.
I experienced the exact samething! I couldn't figure out what in the world was going on!!! I am so happy to be out of that Toxic relationship!! I knew I didn't deserve to be mentally or physically abused!!
They come up with the insults that have NO VALIDATION WHATSOEVER!! AND THEN VICITIMIZE themselves as if it's your fault for their shortcomings and insecurities
😫😫
They insult you when you have boundaries and you break up with them.
They want to break you because they're broken and misery loves company
They thrive on drama bc they have spiritual deficits. They live in ego. Great conversations ty!
I dated one for for months, he used to abruptly make backhanded abusive comments to me all the time. He refused to take me to a nice restaurant, but then out of nowhere he would randomly tell me about all the nice restaurants he took his ex's to, then he would intentionally look at me in pity after he would mention these places. He would also take me to the mall, not pay for anything, become verbally abusive in public to the point where I saw retailers look traumatized by his random outbursts. He would drag me out of all the nice stores and tell me I only deserve foodcourt meals. Then he would turn around and tell me about all the nice things he would buy his ex girlfriends, then laugh in my face bc he told me he wouldn't buy me anything. It's like sadistic attacks to make me feel worthless. It was like real insidious brainwashing, I wasn't grasping it until I spent a weekend away from him and then came back to reality, I have a much nicer home than him, much nicer clothes, I was better looking, I was smarter, I had a fridge full of food in my house. Meanwhile he would actually force me to wear his second hand clothing when I was with him and whenever I was over I had to beg him for food bc he lived in the middle of nowhere. I was literally losing my dignity, being treated like an animal. Ironically his name was also Lee, sorry MH Lee lol
smh. literally HAVE NO WORDS ...
That's why we have to leave at the FIRST sign of abuse so we don't get trapped in it.
Mine too insulted me in public at malls stores and would returned the stuff back if it went above a one penny.never paid anything for me except twice in 12 years of married relationship. They break your spirit.😢
@@pinkheartfairy I'm so sorry this happened to you. They go out of their way to break everyones spirit. They hate themselves and try to cheapen you because they thrive off of damaging you bc they are losers. If they sense you're confident or that others desire you, they will come down even harder. Mine said I wasn't worth a dollar to him but then drove me to the mall and suggested I find a sugardaddy to financially support him. He was serious about pimping me out for money. He's a 37 year old student advisor at a university, that somehow charms his students but he's a sick man in his private life. He even screws around with his coworkers and gave a bunch of them stds. They are literally human garbage.
My narcs middle name is Lee so it must be a thing 😅
100% Correct. They tell on themselves.
💯💯
Sometimes the insults are what they are insecure about.
Hi Lee. The other thing they do is during the smear campaign, the person(s) they're speaking bad about you to, eggs them on or validates what they're smearing about you without knowing the truth. Then the narcissist acts out towards you even more because they have a 3rd party telling them that they're behavior towards you is appropriate. I.e., "oh just dump that...." "you don't owe that person you're with anything ", "just boot they're butt out the door". Etc.
It's so heartbreaking to experience because you can't control what people think, but at the same time it's disappointing how stupid people can be to believe outrageous lies
Enablers
Yup!
Yes, he would also say that he should have listened to so and so about dealing with someone like me, people that I have never met before however I am sure he told half truths about me.
@@spiritualvibrations2825 omg!!! They really work the same. It’s crazy! How often I heard him saying to me “everybody warned me about you, you are crazy” it’s so crazy!
How is it that they play by the same book.? All of them!!
Mine told me he was divorcing me on New Year’s Day this year. One of his reasons was that “I’m boring”. That was so confusing and ridiculous to me, thanks for explaining.
I went through a similar thing. He dumped me 3 days before news years after celebrating our 1 yr olds birthday. He then begged me to come to his birthday which I did and proposed to me!!! I was so confused but didn’t want to embarrass him and said yes because I did love him but that lasted 2 weeks as I found out he was living a double life.
@@ebonyhope5677 thanks for sharing 🙏🏻💜 These men are crazy, and I don’t mean crazy as in that’s an excuse. I can see why you’d still go to his birthday and all of that, like Lee said, until you have time to heal you’ll still do the things they ask!
well they like drama and toxicity so a healed person they will call "boring". his loss!
My narc husband called me a f"*:; bitch several times. I had to call him on it several times before he even stopped, he eventually stopped 😞 He's out of town now and honestly I don't even miss him. The truth is while he was gone, I got delivered and I'm ready to move on without him and I'm NOT feeling any trauma bond...no emotion whatsoever.
I'm ready 🙂 to get him out of MY HOUSE. He needs to come and get his crops, junks outta MY HOUSE. Thank you 🙏🏽 Lord.
Pack his mess up & get it to a corner
of Your crib. Don't waste your precious
time waiting 4 him 2 pack. Get the
job done & have someone there
when he does show up. They always
try 2 talk You out of putting them
out. God Bless Your plan. Stick
2 Your plan & take Good care of
You!
Be careful.
Update ? 😊
Did it go alright?
I was just cutting my sister's hair last week, and my mom was there too. Out of nowhere, she said," You forgot what Carmen taught you, didn't you?" Carmen is also a licensed cosmetologist and a friend who used to mentor me.
I didn't know why my mom was trying to imply that I didn't know what I was doing and insulting my memory out of nowhere, but I've been cutting my sister's hair for 7 years now, and it's always right.
It was clear that she was trying to assert herself as an authority on my memory and hair cutting,two things she knows absolutely nothing about. But I don't understand why she was just sitting there staring at us and then randomly said I didn't remember what my mentor taught me like she knew what I was taught. I wanted to knock the devil out of her.
Cuz they are insecure as hell and evil and wanna drag you down with even rhe smallest things you say to them sometimes. They OVERANALYZE everything and try to search for a thing to attack you with it even you DIDN'T MEAN it like that. I know what is going on I dated one of them!
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"And because I feel so small, I need to make you feel small, too." They're insulting you because they feel insecure. 😂😂😂😂so absolutely right! Awesome video! 📸👏
I hope he's bored for the rest of his worthless life. I don't care if he was bored there's no reason to treat someone that way. I can't stand him. 7 months no contact and counting.
NOT making ANY excuse for THISSSSSS behavior. but it's a mental disability ... i hope you refer to some of the channels and playlists i mentioned in my other comments on this page ....
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like the question of " Why do they hate it when your happy ". I had a partner who was a narcissist ( I didn't know at the time) But I always thought it was odd that he hated when I was happy and he knew what I'd already been through and gotten over, so you'd think he'd be happy for me.. ya know like oh good for her, she so deserves to be happy.
Then I realised after we separated that he was a narcissist and you should feel sorry for them because THEY are never happy, They literally can have EVERYTHING and still not be happy.. Where we appreciate life and blessings and love. They are never happy.
They don't care what you been through. They picked you as energy to feed off of because you are susceptible. You have to heal your wound not trust that others will fill sorry for it and not harm you further.
Hurt people HURT people . They are so insecure about themselves that they want to share the negativity. One thing you CANNOT do is change them. You can't change anyone but yourself. Best just to move on you need to leave for your own mental Health. It only gets worse if you stay!!
Its really bad how they feel about themselves
Yep they get bored the whole world around them suffers
It’s extreme micro management (they have to have extreme control or power), it’s absurd.
I am still learning and understanding just how toxic and abusive my ex was.
And I have finally started to heal. My meds have been upped, I have some sleeping tablets (because my insomnia was a factor in my downward spiral)
And I'm just... trying.
Also realising most of my ""healthy"" family have a lot of toxic narcissistic traits.
Not gonna discuss further, infact, out of respect for myself I'm going to switch over to something more light hearted as I'm in a triggered state.
same here, sister❤ we are stronger than this, and it's gonna get better!!!
@@margueritedrya9807 Absolutely dude.
We are the fortunates who got away. Cuz when I set very solid boundaries that she still overstepped, and began to get agressive, I was out. When i said no to intimscy she would sigh, roll over and do the old 5finger discharge inspife of I don't wanna.
Ugh. A genuinely horrible bitch
smh. i've GOT to keep reading these comments as PROOF that...i dodged a deadly bullet!!!! i appreciate the sharing of everyone who was hit hard by the bullet, but LIVES to tell their story ... your stories make me more grateful!!!!
in your learning process make sure you check out Raw Motivations, Heal NPD, and/or my playlist: HEAL the Narcissist with CPTSD and my new playlist RAW TRUTHS ... (which is a compilation of some of the RAWest videos i've watched by Raw Motivations ...)
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sending strength and support. You can and will get through this 🙏🏾✨💯❤️
I don't deal with toxic people anymore and will never initiate any conversation eve4 !!! I know my standards and worth!! They project they insecurities toward people who have no knowledge or illitrate people I know that for a fact I have been through alot ...I'm now highly educated , intelligent, handsome tall chocolate brown dude with beard as well ....
Mine abused me the worst when he could not manipulate me into hating ppl or doing what he wanted boundaries would set him off
Mine used to try and insult my weight (being skinny). I would always prance around and then say, "After 3 kids, and i still look like this, aint God good?" 😂😂 that was him just projecting how he felt about being underweight and used to try and bulk up. Just pathetic.
😅😅
exactly: "JUST PATHETIC!!!!"
@@ItsSoarTime they all are. I feel sorry for them.
@@MissesOG when you feel sorry for them, they think they worth to feel sorry about, they shift into acting like the victim, very sadistic demonic
I have been sick for a while, he’s constantly nagging me, go to work get over it and go, even tho I’m to the point of passing out…. I can’t control it, I understand him but I don’t know how long I can take it…. He’s making me sicker
My x wife did the same to me while fighting cancer. She suddenly needed and demanded I needed to provide more income and retirement while fighting to beat cancer and raise two toddlers. I was a worthless person who did not want to work. I had to sit there and take her abuse while trying to homeschool the kids, I hope there really is Karma. I was a good father and husband. Psyco miserable woman I wasted my life with.
Oh my gosh.. this is such validation for me. I thought for so long I was losing my mind. I kept experiencing my husband saying things about me to other people knowing darn well the statements he was making were about things he himself did or said. He would go and tell his flying monkeys the biggest basket of crap every time I tried to hold him accountable for his actions.
So when they accuse you of cheating is because they then self are cheating? And every time I was on my phone he accused me I was chatting with someone else when he was actually the one that was very secretive with his phone.
8:33 very true!! He often said to me “you shouldn’t have told me this bc I’m going to use it against you” and stupid me told allot of my past.😔
sometimes when they are cheating it is progection
ANOTHER BULLET I DODGED ... i did NOT tell dude ANY DEEP DARK SECRET and he was DEFINITELY fishing HARD for some during our 2-week interaction!!!!! my business would have been all through this building, 'cause we stay in the same building. and THAT...would have meant WAR because i warned him that i am very vindictive. THAT'S one of my MANY faults!!!! don't start none, won't be none!!!!!!
THANK THE LORD I HAD PLANS TO LEAVE THE STATE BEFORE ENCOUNTERING HIM!!!!!! so i'll be out and leaving him in his pitiful state of existence soon!!!
@@MentalHealness- Projection
"I feel insecure!" Lee, there is hope for any narcissist who can actually admit that on a public platform in truth. Feel heard, understood, and appreciated. 💌
have to put the work in
Raggy?
"if you going to insult me im going to insult you" at what point did the victim insult you first? the victim is invested in this relationship they actually want to make it work, narcs put holes in the ship causing leaks victim is runnning around the ship patching up the holes the narc created, theres only so many holes the ship can take before it sinks, then the narc complains that the red flags are getting wet ITS THEIR FAULT! stop putting holes in our ship! your sinking us!
You’re on a roll with these facts
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The narcissist I was with after he abused me and when I decided not to be in the relationship anymore he would email me and try to compare me with his ex's and he would say things like I hope your stents in my heart would close so I can die. He would blame me for not having a relationship with his daughters cause I told them the truth about him abusing me.
They got rejected by you and are ready to listen to any negative narrative about you.
This is my sibling, I can't tell you how many times he's said to me "just wait until I tell x about..... or just wait until I post those photos of you from......" I limit my time with him now but I've noticed that he spends a lot of time as an online troll. I know a few of his persona's. Online trolling has to be the perfect activity for narcissists who are not getting enough supply.
As my dear old daddy used to say, "The smeller's the feller ", today we call it projection.
😵
With no contact everything is getting so clear to me now.
when they receive all te supply that they need watch them glow and be happy!!
Whit my ex narc I went very fast down, depressed - constant fear - walking on eggshells - isolated and I was so sad every day. And him? Suddenly happy, working on him self like gym etc. So I said to him, I feel I’m drowning and you are rising and he responded back to me with a smile.
They know exactly what and why they are doing. It’s the energy. Without us they are nothing! I finally figured them out. I have zero emotional connection to him anymore! Don’t give them your attention. Nothing! They are worthless
stay strong
This is so true! He always twist my words around. It was always drama and etc.. I just shut down and decided to walk away.
My girlfriend was with one for 27 years. She recently filed for divorce. The VERY NEXT DAY, he petitioned the court to have her mentally evaluated. His sick ass used her childhood trauma as well as her sugeries and medications to improve her appearance (because he berated her for being "fat") as reasoning. She was hiding out for several days until her lawyer could go before the petitioning court, which upheld the order. She turned herself in, and we had to meet the sheriff at the hospital. She was so upset and embarrassed. It was heartbreaking and infuriating for me seeing someone I love dearly go through years of abuse and infidelity be punished for FINALLY trying to escape. I am so grateful to the hospital staff and the sheriff that I was allowed to be there for her. I couldn't imagine having to go through such an ordeal alone. And being there, I was able to advocate for her.
During the evaluation, she mentioned to the doctor that her husband is a narcissist. Interestingly, he told her that partners of narcissists end up mirroring narcissistic behaviors. Has anyone heard of this to be true? We were talking about it, and I told her to think about things she may have said or done. It is scary to think that a narcissist could affect or change another's behavior in such a way.
I think it is possible.
Yes, you are so use to their rages and abuse that it becomes normal behavior. It takes being completely exhausted and seeking answers for what is happening to you before you can finally leave. I put up with his crazy shit for almost 2 years and at the end I was acting just like him. You develop those traits from having to defend yourself. Threw his grimy ass in the trash and moved on. I am 9 months out and I am at peace and back to myself.
Comes down to low self-confidence, low self esteem, and projectioning THEMSELF at ANYONE that is not them.
No one can encourage, support, or help these people but themselves.
When a narcissist "accuses" you, they really, truly arw speaking of themselves.
It's very unfortunate. Yet AL8VE AND UNWELL in so many, "dead inside," people.
Bingo! THEY ALWAYS TELL ON THEMSELVES.
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So true because my Narc's complaints where I was too nice, too clean & I joke too much. Now if that's not a personal problem then I don't know what is...
I was told I was too clean and organized also.
Thank you. You said it. 👍
It definitely has to do with ulterior motives, and entitlement issues.
I personally just see that their hearts and souls are not pure. And they don't desire to know what a pure soul is like.
I think it has to do with spiritual darkness, and their own submission - to the darker side.
Some of them may believe they are a light -
but they are in their soul, dedicated to the darker side,
because of their utter lack of being filled with love. They don't even have understanding of love.
And ultimately it's their total ignorance and inexperience of the love of God Himself.
Without God's love people are hopeless and vile.
You just made me feel so much less hurt by the awful things my husband said and did. He really was a miserable excuse of a man that hurt so many unsuspecting people. Thank you for sharing and making my life a little better. no one should be treated so badly.
I’ve known a lot of Narcissists. I am pretty impressed at this man’s willingness to help out others dispute his diagnosis. That takes courage. Not long till it’s entirely cancelled out 🙌🏻😌 Seek God my friend only He can heal this completely x
Whoa...he told me that he felt our relationship just got boring, and I was thinking, we didn't really have any deep stuff going on between us, all we've been doing most of the time was makeout..which I questioned in my mind at times as to why was there something missing about going deeper for the relationship. And now after watching your video, I finally got it - It's because he's boring and he made me feel that I made the relationship boring....
Hearing this from someone In narcissist recovery is the most powerful and positive thing I’ve had when I came home. Thank you!
There is no way to hold a narcissist accountable. No matter how much u apologize, do for them, or forgive them for the betrayals they've committed against u. Just walk away. 😮💨🤕🔥I learned sumn new in this. Narcissists will attack if they're bored⁉️😲🤦🏾♀️WHOA‼️ Serious question.🤌🏾Do narcissists EVER move passed whatever they're mad about⁉️ Even if it's an illusion to make them feel better for how they treated u‼️Does life go on for a narcissist, and WHEN⁉️ I've walked away so many times, but they will try to bait u back in with emotional abuse n attacks on my character. I'm done. I guess I'm just concerned for their mental health n future stability. I never knew kids to try n compete with their parent, admit it, then still expect sympathy when they attack u. It's weird to me. I quit trynna understand a while ago.
you have to have some type of leverage
The ex , I cannot even.say my ex 😂 . So anyways, the ex loved body shaming me in the worst possible way a man can shame a woman . . . Then turned around horrified when he came back home one day and was horrified to find me GONE FOREVER . !!!
It's so odd how their insults don't fit the person they are giving them to. It makes them look incredibly stupid. My "friend" gives me putdowns and when I come home, my son and I have a good laugh.
Yep, exactly. I dated two narcissists and only one was violent, but the second was extremely covert. He’d be like “You’re a sad, let me help yo then tie next day “You’re bipolar.” Which I’m not. They only want to bring you down so they don’t feel worse about themselves. The violent one it was constant, but then he’d be all sweet when he wanted something as me being stupid at the time accepted that validation. But is NEVER A PHASE-walk away. If it happens twice, it’ll happen Thrice. Narcissists are very skilled at covering their tracks, a genuine person will think about what they said and did and want to be better, a narcissist never will.
I just went no contact with someone because of this Right here 5 days ago. He told a friend that I said that I said is genitals were broken..I never EVER said that.
I was doing my own live about my experience with Narcissistic Abuse. Not ever once did I mention him or the reason I was falsely accused. What I said was " my picker was busted", meaning I was making bad choices. This shows me that when he joined the live he really wasn't listening. And maybe had some guilt about something???
For background, I dated him for a time until I realized he was married. He lied about getting a divorce. When called out, the smear campaign ensued. After getting my reputation fixed, he apologized. We remained friends ( now which I regret because he cant be Happy for me and is jealous). I felt trauma bonded for 7 years to his covert narcissist ways. He always plays the victim. So me and another friend have gone no contact with him for same reason. Thank you for your help.
i hope you don't mind me suggesting the following channels: Raw Motivations, Heal NPD; and my playlists: HEAL the Narcissist with CPTSD and RAW TRUTHS ... (and for musical healing my playlist: VERY POWERFUL ...; and BOY BYE!!!)
STAY STRONG, BECOME STRONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Can you give me those links to these topics?
Yup. He told me I don’t have empathy. 😂 when HE doesn’t. Said I’m a “fake boss” when he really a fake boss
That is the BEST explanation of what PROJECTION is, that I have ever heard - even including trained psychologists! Thanks! 🥰
To devalue and discredit you simple
Hi I am new to this site I just wanted to let you know that my own sister who is narcissist very conniving and master of manipulater and Liar I really want to get away from her but I just can't because I have father who is 95 years old and I just can't abanding him.There is no body out there who can help.Your explainin is 100 percent true Thank you for this episode. And please continue.
Wow, beat down with words! I wish I had realized all the emotional abuse and verbal abuse was abuse on the level of physical abuse!
Whenever I would talk with my adult kids and joke with them or have conversations Narc/ dad would always interrupt and think I was insulting him or speaking about him!? He would attack me with his anger and assume that he was so important in every aspect in his sick mind!? I was at the end of our relationship/ marriage due to his narcissistic behavior and abuse and sad to say that I ended up ignoring him as he did to me for years/ ( only to interact when it was necessary.) throughout my marriage not knowing what to expect from him!! Now that we are divorcing after being married for 3-decades he is trying to make the divorce process difficult and playing the victim. I never want to deal with him in regards with anything!!
He is a child with abusive behavior and rage and abused me throughout our marriage. A fake relationship and fake person who I once believed in. How can someone go on living taking, stealing, disrespecting others and hurting people.. I can only pray for my life that will improve and sad to say the only way out for me is through the legal system.
Why can’t Narcissistic people just do the right thing and let go!! It’s always a game and revenge.
How exhausting it is. Maybe not for him but this would be an interesting topic Lee to discuss as it’s never ending and does this make him feel superior!?
I have been trying to understand this. Because this one just won’t stop. Post divorce during the marriage .. any reason he gets he is talking me to straight filth and I don’t get the hatred.. even on the court app he won’t stop the smear or bs.. thanks for covering this topic because this is the one thing that I couldn’t understand…
Yes, mine said he is deliberately pushing me away from him because he never wanted to believe "I'm this person".
My sister is a narc, i had to grow up listening her say how i should/shouldn't laugh, what i could couldn't say, hearing the deffects she detected in my body, etc, etc. 23 years of my life this way, my self steem couldn't even be created, my parents didn't help in any way about this and they are still surprised i went to live to another city for the rest of my life. They are still asking me to return by making me feel as innapropiate because of leaving them. I don't enjoy being with them, it's always an attack to my self steem, my independence, my whole identity. This week she is not talking to me because she asked me to return to that city to take care of her baby because she needs to return to job, i said NO and she said i'm a terrible uncle for not being there for her baby. It's so crazy the situation.
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Unfortunately my youngest son is very insulting to me. He knows these comments break my heart and make me cry. I’m 83 I don’t need this so I have blocked his phone, I’m tired of crying bc he is ugly too me.
He made me feel so small, my covert narcissist husband of 30 yrs. I was sick and hed say look at you, nobody would want you anymore. I was bedridden at 78 lbs on a feeding tube. Im not anymore. Im regaining my health and losing my marriage and cant be happier. He assaulted me Dec 5th so i kicked him out and filed for divorce and a restraining order.
When you tell “YOU FEEL WHAT IM SAYING” In each video 😂 I crack up
Lee could you make a video about what happens when a narc catches you mirroring their behaviour back to them or if you’re aware of their tactics and are studying them? My experience they get narc rage and injury through shame, then project and stonewall. It’s like a 180. What happens in their mind when you decide to not put up with their games & block them first?
I went through the emotional, mental, verbal abuse as well. I wanted PEACE so badly that I gave up our son to him. I remain no contact and it's going to remain this way.
Thanks, Lee! Good video. I received slings and arrows from multiple people in my life and would take it personally. It really hurts your self esteem.
You’re welcome
THANKFULLY, in my 2-week exposure to dude i didn't experience any hardcore verbal abuse like being called a B ... 'CAUSE I'M NOT THE FRICKIN' ONE FOR THAT!!!!!! but the emotional abuse i did mostly read in texts was enough to make me know it was PROJECTION AND INSECURITY AND MISERY ... EVERYTHING HE EXPRESSED IS HOW HE FELT ABOUT HIMSELF. now that has been confirmed by Mr. Lee.
i told dude straight up before severing our ties: "MY SELF-ESTEEM IS STILL INTACT." AND IT IS!!!! i've NEVER had low self-esteem and i'll be damned if i allow ANYONE to lower it, much less destroy it--no matter how tall and handsome he is, no matter how mentally disabled he is (because NPD is a mental disability).
and, yeah, i STILL want to see or at least talk to dude BUT I WILL GET OVER THAT RESIDUAL EFFECT OF EMOTIONAL ADDICTION OR MY OVERLY EMPATHETIC SELF OR WHATEVER IT IS that makes me want to see/talk to someone who will probably continue to subject me to emotional abuse and try to lower it to verbal abuse ... or worse!!!!
I have a narc and his family member insulted me. They would call me b’s, weirdo etc. When I speak up they would threaten to fight me.
a narcissist will defend their selves even when the victim didn't do a damn thing to them so it doesn't matter
4:50 narcissist's whiny self has the mic 🤣🤭🔥
🤭
Well this is something new, when he first started speaking, I thought he was about to present his clinical profession title in narcissism. I wasn’t expecting him to say clinically diagnosed narcissist, because most narcissists don’t realize they are and honestly believe their negative words and actions are justified. To have a clinically diagnosed narcissist describe narcissism to the world is almost nonexistent.
Glad I found your channel. Just subbed . My brother is like this exactly. It’s very challenging having any interaction with him. He is extremely calculated, manipulative, and abusive. Insulted me yesterday because I didn’t do what he wanted. When I explained my stance he said I went on a “diatribe”. Which made zero sense at the time. Now it does, his whole life is going on a lengthy diatribe, without letting anyone get a word in. Attack, attack, attack!🔥
Hey hey hey!! Happy to be a new member of the family! 💖
Thanks for subbing
Howdy! 😊
I have seen a lot of videos about narcissists but nobody talks about the combination of drugs and personality. After 12 years I’m leaving my boyfriend aside from being a malignant narcissist he also smokes a lot of weed. People tell me it’s not the weed but remember he is a narcissist and when he’s high that’s when the verbal abuse is worse !
I so appreciate your input on the subject, particularly your honesty on the last item of this clip!
Im proud of you Lee. Keep growing!
Jealous people
Every accusation is a confession. My narc ex actually said to me out of the blue, "I don't think you love me, you just like saying it..." 🙄
I really needed this episode. Thank you
This is very true it took me a few years to recover from an old job and relationship.
Thank you for trying to break this stuff down. I’m so happy you were able to start the healing process and illuminate these things. As a survivor I’m still trying to understand. Thanks for help
Wow! Subscribed and excited to watch more! God bless!