11 Old-School Etiquette Rules UNFAIRLY Considered Offensive! (Ignore The Haters)
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- In today's video, I give you 11 Old-School rules that are considered offensive.
• Bad Cell Phone Etiquet... - Click here to watch a Modern Guide To Phone Etiquette
Video Summary:
0:15 - Help a woman sit
1:20 - Opening a door for a woman
1:53 - ****
3:02 - Giving up your seat
4:00 - Paying for the meal
5:29 - ****
6:05 - Having a dress code for a party
6:38 - Saying a prayer before a meal
7:18 - Bring the hostess a gift
7:53 - Walk a woman home
8:11 - ****
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In today's video, I give you 11 Old-School rules that are considered offensive.
ua-cam.com/video/nLrKoqHCStU/v-deo.html - Click here to watch a Modern Guide To Phone Etiquette
What have I missed? Let me know in the comments!
Real Men Real Style - This video is spot on! Great video! 😊👍🏻
thanx for adding value in my life antonio. you r doing a great job.keep doing and keep us inspiring.i really acknowledge your effort man !!!
1:51 'How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can’t even trust his own pants.'
Belts can't be wear with suspenders I think but I saw it in one of the descendants movies...
Who makes the rules?you or the person wearing
@@ericgoodwin7988 isn't the person who wear,I learned the rules of dress sharp. Suspenders only with vest and necktie but don't stay good joining the belt. Suspenders have the same job of belt, isn't needed both. Are there rules to learn about dress well and isn't necessary a belt when we have suspenders. Both cut the look
@@ericgoodwin7988 in that case I can wear shorts with a necktie. Wear both suspenders and belt is like wear two reading glasses in the same time.
Fashion changes eveyday.you may use suspenders or belt for the necessity of it but for the fashion face of it, it doesn't matter if you use the both. Food of thought--->why do we carry a cellphone un our pocket with time on it and still put on wrist watch?fashion change my friend.My ancestors put on suspenders to hold up their troussers but i put it on for it beautiful strips design to compliment my outfit
I LOVE THIS. This is so needed these days. The real man is a dying breed, especially when it comes to how we treat the ladies in our lives.
From the South, and I am older, I open the door for everyone, coming in and exiting from a building.
Kerry Thomas Being from the North I do the same.
Being from the West Coast I do the same.
So.cal. and so do i
I’m a civilized human and do this too.
I guess manners are more a part of our culture? I’m 18 BTW.
I’m 25 but still follow all these old school etiquette! This how I was raised and I’m so proud and happy to not change those etiquette
The first two mentioned were things I learned as a boy growing up from my grandfather who grew up during the 50's. The door holding one is something I still do constantly for people, it doesn't matter what gender or age, I will hold the door open for people who are coming out of a building or going in who are close behind me and let them go first..it's the polite thing to do and if there is a second door like there is in some places the favor is usually returned to me as they hold the door for me. Sure a woman has given me the stink eye once or twice for doing it...but on the whole it's not something that happens in my area a lot..especially when they notice I'm doing it for everyone, not just women.
3:53 "We change society by first improving and changing ourselves." Brilliant, thank you!
You as a former USMC officer and I as a retired USN officer know that the term "an officer and a gentleman" is more than a movie title.
Thank God I watched James Bond films because the movies unknowingly educated us on how to be a gentleman or at least act like one. Well, that's better than today, for starters the music is more like @ss b*tches and other vulgar stuff. And toni, thanks for this video.
CKG
Stick with the older movies I have not been impressed with anything Daniel Craig has made.
@kshiftkometh
Then he was not paying attention.
Interestingly you never hear Bond use foul language in any of the movies.
Wow.. I didn't know that.. I'll make sure my son watches them.. Thanx, dude
Chivalry is under attack in the modern world. It is important that a Man treats others the way he wants to be treated and to take care of others before yourself - it's the only way our world will ever heal from the self-absorbed, instant-gratification, entitlement culture we live in today.
When I wore a younger mans clothes, I once had a meeting with a young lady. It was not a date per se I didn’t know if I should have paid (young and inexperienced), she expected me to pay. From that day the rule for me is if I invite you somewhere I pay the bill.
I love how you incorporate the history behind some of these traditions
I'm Canadian and went to Texas in August. I will say, I made a great friend and that's because southern hospitality is a real thing. Some of what you said holds true down there.
Yes. Finally someone laid it out there! We are trying to be too politically correct these days. Thanks Antonio! You have hit the ball out of the park with this one. Happy holidays to you and your team!
as a Canadian we just open doors for everyone.
Canadians are on the wrong planet.
Not all them do and it is annoying
We sure do!
As a hotel doorman..... well you can guess
Yep, we do.
Antonio, this is absolute wisdom my friend. Being a retired police officer and current police (RCMP) Chaplain I truly appreciate your journey. Well done my friend! As usual.
Antonio, I love your videos, and I don’t disagree with your stance on these bits of etiquette. HOWEVER, at 8:05 you stated that “women get attacked a lot more.” this is categorically untrue in all measurable metrics (at least in the US).
You’d have been better off stating that women are far more worried about their safety than men are. This is honestly an acceptable reason to stay with her until she’s safe at home anyway.
You said it women in the united states are more fortunate than other women in different countries.
Thank you for the information in this video. I think the only point where there is potential for confusion is in regards to why women were singled out. At the time in the Victorian era, I have no doubt men certainly did believe women found it difficult to move around. However, in the majority of cases, for women, their attire was actually quite comfortable.
I'm going to go out onto a limb here and say that the reason it was _thought_ (both at the time and even nowadays) that women couldn't move well is due to corsets worn at the time being overly restrictive, as well as the practice of tight-lacing. Here I think would be good to clarify.
Tight-lacing was not very common among women in the working classes given their need to move and breathe properly, which a tight-laced corset doesn't allow. In higher classes, women did not need to do much of any manual labor and so could afford to, quite literally, sit around and look pretty. Even with this, tight-lacing was still not as commonplace (as many of the anti-corseters of modern day tend to believe) given how impractical it was for the corset-wearer.
Even without tight-lacing however, corsets were both functional and comfortable in general. They functioned as the modern day equivalents of both a bra and shapewear, designed mainly to support the weight of the chest and back. The way a corset was designed distributed the weight of the chest and back upon the hips, which are naturally more robust, in most women than men, and are strong enough to support substantial weight. Having the weight being supported on the hip bones also meant the arms and shoulders did not need to bear the weight, allowing greater freedom of arm movement. Corsets back then were also often made of whale bone, which is flexible, and this allowed the corset to mold to the body of its wearer and ensure the best fit and greatest support. These items were always especially made for their wearers, with detailed measuring to ensure a proper fit.
So, yes, it was certainly believed in Victorian times that women couldn't move well in their clothing.
But was it actually the case for women? Well, if the belief is based on their employment of a corset, then the answer is, thankfully, no.
If you have read this far then I thank you for your attention and hope your day is/was well. I personally really do miss some of the courtesies witnessed in earlier times, as I like to think they were often well-meaning and sometimes even made life easier. It's good to see not everyone is a pushover to much of the...new arrangements...of modern society.
Every Young man need to WATCH this video.......
Bring back oldschool values.
Agreed
I enjoyed the video Antonio:)
Everybody, let's stay old school!
Excellent! I could not agree more with each item. I train my sons on each of these points and expect these things you mention (and more) from myself and them.
Well said and needed to be said. Happy holidays, Marine.
great video Antonio. keep up the good work!
Hey Antonio, Loving the videos, would you consider making a style video for younger teens. Maybe 14 to 18 years old?
Thanks Hayden! New UA-cam restrictions prevent me from targeting “minors”. However much of my style advice can be applied to any age!
Real Men Real Style okay cool! Now I don’t have to worry about looking “nerdy” when wearing a polo shirt😂
Polo shirts are awesome. A great smart casual piece. Just make sure it fits properly and you’re good to go!
Real Men Real Style okay, Thanks Antonio!
@@RealMenRealStyle "targetting minors"?! Lol..what exactly do they think we do here? Typical illogical YT sensorship.
WELCOME BACK! Antonio, I was beginning to worry about you a couple of videos ago
This is an excellent video! thank you Antonio
Receiving help from strong men on a normal daily basis gives people confidence in our country. Thanks to all the strong men in my life. Thanks for these nice buildings with electric water and sewer and the beautiful yards and the clothes and cars!
Anthonio, Merry Christmas and a happy new year.
What? You pulled out the chair to seat a lady?
Swinehunt !🧐 Thanks Tony. I’m not giving up on the lesson of curtesy passed on down from my parents.
Hi Antonio. Subscribed today. Great content as always. I agree completely regarding etiquette and manners. On a first date I have will pay for dinner etc. Old fashioned manners will pay off in the end. Merry Christmas from England.
I agree 100%. Outstanding video, Antonio.
Great video!! Merry Christmas everyone😊🎄
Merry Christmas to you too, thanks.
"Manners maketh the man"
You alive?
Great video.. thanks.. 🙏🏻
Great vid Antonio & we definately have the best culture & etiquettes that need to be shared with the rest of the world 👍
Great video Antonio! The world would be a much better place if everyone adhered to these rules :)
Great topic! Being a gentleman never goes out of style and I think chivalry is always the best way. I think women are independent and definitely are respected in all parts of life, but do like to be treated like ladies... especially by guys they are dating. It can be confusing on the roles, but not when men are consistent in helping everyone...men, women and children young and old, we retain credibility. At work, I have worked for men and women who were great bosses. In social situations, I find women like it when I have a plan and pay for dinner. Like you say, it's just how it is.
@Gilded Chamber you are SO right!
Agree with absolutely all of these...respect, Antonio! 👊
The world changes, the society changes, so it's normal that some etiquette rules become old or even stupid for the times we're living
Which ones would be stupid?
Marco Hernandez uhm... maybe asking your girlfriend’s father for his blessings is a bit too much, we’re in 2020 not in Game of Thrones
@@matte3993 I do not know about that but asking her father for a blessing for marriage is a good component to them seeing you as someone that is willing to be with her for the rest of his life, in theory.
Youre awesome i Love your Videos.
Be blessed Brother Antonio .❤
These are all rules i was raised on. My mother grew up in the 80s, so she pretty well handed those lessons down to us kids.
All great points....2 thumbs up!!!!!
Absolutely. I agree with you and especially if you want to build a relationship with the host, boss, girlfriend or friend etc...
I forgot about gifts. I seem to be plane Jane with a thank you card and gift cards. I like the local maple syrup idea, it’s personalized
Great information and video I agree with all information. My parents rise with this information.
Respect is a key, thank you!
Personally, as a lady, I would never date a man who was not a gentleman. To me it shows respect. I don't know any women personally who would date a man who would ever expect a woman to pay for a date. It shows that he is willing to pay for the pleasure of spending time with her. If a woman ever is on a date and wants to pay I can tell you she isn't serious about you. That's her way of not wanting to owe you anything.
Ellie Mathews As a man that is always how I have interpreted it as well. I have never let a woman pay for a meal. Even in long term relationships where we both had well paying full time jobs. It’s just not the proper way of doing things. Splitting a check makes it seem like we aren’t even together IMO.
Have witnessed so many times here in India where most men would prefer to stand up for a pretty lady than to stand up for an elderly person or someone who needs that sit who isn't a lady.
I was in a train one day and this kid was sitting next to her mum and someone enters who's old enough to be her mum was struggling while standing, I was thinking her mum would say hey stand up for the woman to sit, she didn't stand up neither did her mum told her to instead she tried to make a little space for the woman which isn't enough to put a baby in I was angry that day because I knew this would never happen in Nigeria where I came from
Great video! Sad that manners such as these are becoming a lost art, but I still do these (at 48) and totally agreed with everything you said.
Tht Leather Jacket looks so cool...
In some countries it is really bad to go to someone's place and offer nothing especially if it is a birthday or other major event. It can be a bottle of whisky/liquor or a box of small deserts or a nice basket of wines etc. It is a gift and it is not meant to be consumed during the event unless otherwise agreed upon. Of course the size and the price of the gift depends on the situation. For example if a woman is visiting a friend of hers, she can offer just a box of cookies. It is viewed as returning something to the host/hostess for all the food and drinks they provide during the visit.
We loved this video. Really awesome. Try to put content on Spanish. It is gold.
Another option for prayer before a meal, for some, if you are not this host or hostess would be a silent prayer. Of course depending on religion and other factors.
I definitely agree on the prayer. I'm not religious, but as a point of respect to a host, always show deference to their faith.
Wow! I am bossing this one!
he gon pull up to a family event with some maple syrup 😂
A lot of these rules are about men protecting and caring for women that some modern feminists find offensive, well no one said that a woman can’t walk a man home or open a door for a man or pay the bill when dining out with a man.
I am widow, was married for 24 years, have not dated since the 80s. I dont remember ever having to pay for dates or being expected to. However i did cook nice dinners fairly often, i would bring food or wine to his house for an at home watch movie date. I occasionally baked goodies for him also so i dont think i was a mooch. Sometimes in a dating relationship the man might be substantially more well to do and that should be taken into account.
Most of these i agree. For dating two basic rules, whoever makes more, and/ or whomever initiated the date. Except if she insists Dutch. But in general men do initiate it. Therefore often should pay for first dates. After that the couple should negotiate that.
simple courtesy and common sense. we need more of it
In other words: the basics
Another nice list dude! Just being a gentleman......something we need to pass on to the next generation. Thx dude
In Texas, most people still say thanks if you open a door for strangers 😊
I'm 62 and no longer go out of my way to open doors for women under the age of 50. If it's convenient for me then I will make the effort but too many women expect it without appreciating it. That's the key: female entitlement and feminism have made 'chivalry' irrelevant today so I reserve my gentlemanly behavior for friends and those truly in need. two cents
Overall, another good video.
It sounds more like it is the other way around ;) If you think like that and knows history....it becomes a little bit silly........come on man, we have oppressed them and negated them the same rights as us for the past 2000yrs......and all "chivalrous" men starts to throw a tantrum after not getting appreciation enough when they hold doors...
if you did this in Canada both man and women will call you out like your a monster that lack of education and manners!
@@pjukas Men have not "oppressed" women for 2,000 years, that's cherry picked feminist propaganda. Men and women have had it equally bad for centuries, the only difference is that each sex had different struggles to deal with.
Feminists just have a victim mentality and think they have it worse. They don't have it worse, they simply face different problems than men and don't grasp/care about what men deal with since they're indoctrinated to think that all men are part of the mythical "patriarchy" eternally oppressing womankind. It's a narcissistic and self-serving delusion.
@@pjukas lol Meting out my own time and energy for the benefit of strangers is exhibiting some sort of tantrum? Or is stating my position the 'tantrum'? I must sacrifice my time and energy for others because why? You must be joking.
Western women are the most privileged class of people to have ever lived. They have all the rights that men have and a few more. Wake up to the new reality and stop living in the past.
Perhaps you have oppressed women but I have not - therefore I am not obligated to do favors for them (or for men). I do not believe in collective guilt or collective punishment but it seems you do. Why is that? Come on, man, read some history and see how collectivism has always worked out - it ain't pretty.
Did you miss the part where I said I won't 'go out my way' and that I did not say I never open doors for others? Heck, I did that just yesterday. Seems you did miss it or you simply saw what you wanted to see. Oh and shaming language has no effect on me. Cheers.
@@funnygaming2672 If I did what? NOT go out of my way to hold a door open? How would anyone even know? Be definition, I would have to be away from the door in order to go out of my way to open it. I highly doubt anyone would notice unless I was staring at the door and smirling at the person trying unsuccessfully to open it - which I assure you I do not do. Shaming language does not work on me - try logic and reason, please.
But what if you're older than 11?
Just kidding man, love your videos! Lifechanging :D
Whew. Glad this is your opinion.
Tact is Key when Being Honest.
Good video
Thanks! How’s your weekend?
@@RealMenRealStyle ok yours
It’s awesome. Thanks for asking!
Hey Antonio, where did you get that leather jacket?
When i was in crutches not even people your age gave up their seat for me. Even though the seat in the bud had a sign that specifically said it was for handicap, elderly, and pregnant women.
you're wearing the jacket aaron gifted to you right?
if so thats awesome
3:59 WHOEVER ASKS WHO OUT SHOULD PAY. IT'S COMMON COURTESY. IF YOU INVITE SOMEONE TO YOUR HOUSE YOU HAVE TO FEED THEM. IF YOU AS A WOMAN ASK MAN FOR A DATE YOU SHOULD PAY OR AT LEAST PAY FOR YOUR OWN SELF!
To me, those offended by etiquette are themselves offensive. A few rules I've followed that I didn't see here: When walking, keep on the side she carries her purse so it can't be readily jostled or stolen. Precede her into a revolving door because your greater weight will start it moving and she won't need to get it moving (although the last few revolving doors I've encountered seem to be started by an electric eye or without human intervention). Follow her on an up escalator so if she loses her balance she won't fall or be injured. Precede her on a down escalator for the same reason. As you said, it is about showing respect, and I think also simple prudence. Of course, if you live in a universe where accidents never happen this shouldn't matter. Also, Antonio, when I think of Wisconsin, I think of Beer and Cheese. Or, maybe, Cheese and Beer. When I think of Vermont I think of maple syrup. And I think more of Wisconsin than I think of Vermont. 😀
It’s all about the sword arm lol
@@jenniferschmitzer299 You are quite correct. However, it is no laughing matter if you are a Southpaw in the place of honor or a Right-handed Swordsman charging up a spiral staircase with limited room to wield your weapon while exposing more of your body to the defenders!
Leo Sigman are we thinking about our favourite Tasmanian? Fencing is de riguer.
@@jenniferschmitzer299 I don't know. My favorite Tasmanian is a Devil of a character out of Loony Tunes by Mel Blanc.
My dad was raised to stand up whenever the woman of the house was going to sit down. My mother hates it, but understands why my dad does it.
Ever since I was 7 if I didn't open the door for my mom, my sister or any female my dad would flick me in the ear. Now even though he has since passed if I ever forget I I duck out of reaction.
Having the In-laws On your side has HUGE benefits when you're in an argument. The In-laws are the judge.
I'd say... more like the jury. Whereas the woman herself is the judge, so to speak. Where she can as such, adhere to or overturn their "verdict." However, that's not to say that you don't have a point in which if the defense is saying "Not Guilty" and the "Jury" is as well, that it would definitely go a long way in walking out of said courthouse, as a cleared and vindicated man.
Interesting all of these or most of these etiquettes are part of my culture and been following for years without giving much though some of them are considered religious as well.
6:06 I REME3MBER WHEN I WAS 14 WERE I HAD A FRIEND AND SHE SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO WEAR A DRESS TO GET IN BUT I'M A STUD SO I DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE GOING TO HER PARTY AND I DIDN'T GO. SO MUCH FOR BEING FRIENDS SHE WOULD NOT LET ME GO BC I WAS NOT WEARING A DRESS. I REMEMBER A NOTHER TIME THERE WAS A MIDDLE SCHOOL GRADUATION PARTY WHERE WOMEN HAD TO WEAR DRESSES AND MEN HAD TO WEAR SUITS AND I DIDN'T GO TO BC I DIDN'T WANT TO WEAR A DRESS YET AGAIN. THIS IS WHY I HATE FORMAL OCCASIONS.
This list is all about being truly good and nice. Never mind the present times which gets offended at nicety, you do you. That makes you uniquely attractive.
And yes, don't do it just to impress someone. It shows, and it is off-putting. :)
Amen
People who have a problem with classic etiquette are people who think the Earth is flat and didn't exist prior to 1995
Giving up your seat for someone older can be viewed as offensive: do I look like I need a seat? I avoid this by standing up before there are no free seats... so neither anyone will be offended by my staying seated nor anyone will be offended by my standing up.
No it’s only offensive to insecure sissies that take small gestures as personal attacks on their character. No one likes that person. I found the best way to handle rude people is by asking if they’re okay? But in a way that suggests they be special needs. If they continue to press then I act generally concerned for their well-being. I did this in retail a lot. I’ve had a lot of people call my store back and personally apologize to me and thank me for not losing my temper.
That jacket goes w/ your eyes.
Thanks. I think. But... my eyes aren’t tan 👀
Antonio that jacket exudes coolness. What brand is it ?
Thanks! A certain AlfaM gave it to me. Let’s play a game... check my last video where I’m wearing this jacket and see if you can find the brand in the comments. Everyone always asks!
Real Men Real Style Coach?
Members Only 😉
What you espouse is common knowledge to me; if there are men out there who don't know what you speak on indicates a poor up-bringing and common sense. Kudos big dog for teaching those whom claim to be men to be a MAN.😜😝😛
HI Everyone out there and HAPPY HOLIDAYS, I agree with everything on your video but kind a ify on one . Honesty. For me if its one on one at home ,on the phone, on the street just talking I will be straight up with you . At a party or a store around other people I would tone it back . You would know if I have a more to say but iam not looking for an argument if you disagree. The flip side of the coin . Being honest is the right thing to do . But it can get you in a lot of trouble if you say it the wrong way . MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm in Texas, we open doors here for any/every one and you'll get a raised eyebrow if you don't
All of these etiquettes are so important but most are lost. I believe in all of these. Many of the boys who grow up without father figures lack these characters. This is very unfortunate. These small gestures teaches boys/men to be kinder to their fellow humans.
Amen! This will help society as a whole!
Yes, sir. Completely agree. And experienced it myself (we were friends no more afterwards)
Why do they have to be so aggressive towards any of our actions when we're simply being respectful or voicing opinions (which Everyone is entitled to) is something not even they know the answer to.
Edit: @7:10 A remarkable observation I made over at my schools (Namaste from India!) is that people who prayed and blessed their food would say a short prayer after being seated (mess hall, really big) and would keep it to themselves if it wasn't the norm. And even though I'm an atheist, watching them actually made me feel ever so slightly more thankful for it as well.
1:50 I WANT THAT CAR.
hell yeah Antonio someone had to say this 💪
Thank you so much, sir, for this amazing video,
Yes, I completely agree with every single rule you have mentioned,
that's exactly how I was raised and I'm still proud of these etiquettes
OLD IS GOLD !!
Keep posting videos like this please, and thank you very much for your outstanding work and informative content content
Awesome video Antonio. I so respect your willingness to be so open with convictions that aren’t all that popular right now.
Regarding 6:55, if praying before a meal is something that is important to someone and they feel strongly that they should do, I don’t think that the fact that no one else is praying should not keep them from it. Yes, I completely agree that it’s not appropriate to ask a room full of atheists to give you a moment of silence so you can pray, but taking a moment to subtly bow your head and say a silent prayer is something that can be done with tact and class and can be done without making a scene or making yourself look like a super spiritual snob.
In regards to 1:51, where can I find someone who drives a 1960 whatever Shelby Cobra
And belt with suspenders? Pass this guy
Not me, lol. I only got a mid nineties jag.. carrol was great, wasn’t he
It's a different world I've opened many many doors for women and nine times out of 10 the women don't say thank you. You're right it's about respect and most women don't have it for themselves or others. The old school of my mother is long gone. Do I pull out a chair for people to open doors for others yes I do. But I found that you size that person up. And determine do they deserve that respect. In most cases with most women they don't.
In the case I suggest that they work on themselves, self reflect and self introspect. You have done all that you could, it is not your responsibility anymore.
@@marshimeak1972 it never was my responsibility, I'm responsible for my own actions not others.
@@jago5300 agreed.
0:14 WOMEN DON'T NEED YOUR HELP TO SIT. THE LAST TIME I CKEEKED I DIDN'T NEED ASSISTANCE FROM A MAN TO PUT MY ASS ON A CHAIR. 😐
Respect everyone who deserves....
Don't really need the help sitting, but a hand on the back of the chair or waiting for the woman to sit first, that's more adaptive, I think. Also, standing when a woman gets up from a table. Major brownie points there.
Manners maketh man.
True that big A Semper Fi