The Phone Is For Setting Dates. Not Getting To Know Her
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
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Why the phone is for setting dates & not getting to know her.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work since 2015. He claims to have a good grasp of the fundamentals and can admit when he’s not following them. However, a few months ago he met a woman he really liked, they hooked up and she started texting him all the time. Instead of simply setting the next date, he became a robot and only set 1 date per week and then precedes to constantly talk to and text her. The only problem was she could never find the time to see him in person anymore. He says he’s really confused as to why.
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lol the dove sounds 😂 nice new addition to the comedic repertoire, Coach!
Dont put her on a pedestal just because she is dating you. Not matter how high is her level of atraction, do not lose your CENTER. after she is your girlfriend you can be more loose, but never to the point of being uncentered.
I can attest to this. Recently messed up a new relationship doing the cute texting back and forth and sent something jokingly that offended and she said she didn’t want to hang out anymore.
Do what feels natural. That said, don't pedestalize, over-invest, stray away from your goals, or stay in touch all day long. Attachments can hurt real bad, so be cautious.
Emotional awareness and control is the key to avoiding attachments that don't serve you.
Nah. What feels natural to some people leads to situations like this. Do what’s in the book.
All those things you said to not do may feel natural to certain people. Bit of a contradiction there. Men simply need to reprogram what feels natural by practising what is in the book.
Hey Coach, I just want to say thank you for your work. Thanks to your help, as well as the help of a couple others out there in this space, I at 27 am now in the early stages of dating someone I’m really into for the first time and while it’s a bit of a mental rollercoaster, I feel pretty chill about it all because I know how to handle things in between dates, and I know how to present myself to not put her on a pedestal and keep her investing in the conversation. Focusing on living my life and only using the phone to set dates is proving to be very helpful right now. No one teaches how the initial courtship is supposed to go better than you do, Coach.
From some emails over the past months I am noticing that guys think "no contact" is a technique, rather than literally giving up on a person UNLESS they try to fix things (3 times in a row).
Note that.
It's also that they might not be sociopaths and they can't just flick a switch in their minds and get over their attachment. The problem actually is that they became too attached in the first place. Even if you use no contact as a technique if used properly it will eventually lead you to giving up on them anyways. Let them think it's a technique. If they use it properly they will eventually be fine.
@@heinzii7834 - Well said. It's all techniques at the end of the day until you truly become an emotionally strong person, which takes a lot of pain and suffering to get there.
The robot is back lol. Some people just can’t help themselves but to be too stoic, instead of going with the flow.
You can’t have both lol. You can either be stoic and not get hurt or be open and get hurt
Sir, you’ve changed my life.
I sincerely thank you
That blue balls stroke hand gets me everytime. 😂
Cmon buddy, I haven't read Coreys book, but even i know.. You never txt a new date, potential woman back and forwards or sit for hours on the phone.. and never chase anyone.. People who chase others dont love or respect themselves and are looking for praise and approval.. Dont you have a job, hobbies or your own friends.. If i was you.. Ide cancel my dating subscription, use that cash to do things that make YOU happy and start working on your own self worth...
Cmon man?! 9 years following the coach?! You need remedial coaching here! Coach’s very first few principles in 3% Man : the phone is for setting dates. My relationship is still going and has lasted long because of this very principle. Be mysterious even if you don’t have a ton of things going on in your life. Go to the gym, hang out with friends, immerse in your hobbies if you have any. But don’t respond right away (also do not ignore), to her texts either. Wait a bit. It’s always better if she thinks she likes you more than you like her. Cmon maaaaaaaaan!
That dove impression almost killed me 😂 good shit lol
Do the same rules apply to a long distance relationship 🤔
Love your book. So true i did this before so true set. The date get off the phone
Thanks!
Dude I’m in the Marine Corps and I’m on night crew for work and I went out with this girl once and she keeps reaching out to me first. I set a date for Saturday on Monday afternoon but I just feel like she’s drifting away but that’s literally the only day I have to go out. When she reaches out I always ask how she’s doing and then I get off the phone but that part has been really hard
Yes got out of town date she said lets talk and see were it goes!! Disaster!! Thanks!!
He definitely did NOT read the book 😂 as many times as he claimes
This needy behavior by guys seems to be increasing...."cmon man!"
Always appreciate the robot voice lmao
Great seal impression haha
You crack me up but this is true !
Nein years... Nein!!
What if u keep trying to be short and try to cut off talk and she just keeps trying to text 🤦🏻♂️ haha it happends..I keep telling we’ll have. A nice and shell be like thanks u too and then starts sending more and more shit 😂
When work is a priority over hanging out with you ….🤔😂
Wayne is wise and my personal favorite online coach, but the "phone only for setting dates" rule is almost impossible to follow to the letter with the modern younger women. If they like you they will text you like 4-5 times every day.
You set a date the first time and then? You cannot just repeat "we will talk about it on the date" like a mantra for the other 3-4 times in the same day, tomorrow and so on. For sure you dont want either to be dragged into chats with hundreds of messages daily, but you still need to reply and put at last some effort to not appear as rude and uncaring.
It’s simple. Reply to one of the texts and spend no more than two minutes max texting. After that, just say you’re busy. No more than one reply per day. Don’t ask any questions to keep her texting. You should be busy with work, or friends/family or a hobby anyways.
Yep agree this is the most difficult thing these days. I went on a date a month ago, had a great time... she started being touchy. I recognised the signs, took her back to mine for more drinks and the indoor olympics. All was good. She started messaging me the next few days.... almost every day.... with "How was your day?". Obviously i recognised the signals that she merely wanted my attention and I set the next date. But she carried on with daily texts and she wasn't free for a date until another 10 days. I tried to go slower than she did and tried to remain mysterious, you can't IGNORE messages obviously. I definitely did NOT over-pursue at all. Day of the 2nd date comes around and she cancels 5 hours beforehand. No offer to reschedule though. But i was fine about it and didn't chase, just told her to let me know when she figures things out. Anyway, i agree with the above... you can't just repeat "let's talk about it on the date", when she's messaging EVERY day. I think i handled my situation as best as i could tbh , a little bit of teasing and always tried to reply a little longer than she was. She has since reached out and said "i haven't forgotten you", but ultimately hasn't offered a rescheule date. I suspect that she might be dating others, which is fine. I'll keep dating others too. That's all you can do. 10 years ago I'd have been taking it personally and probably blown it by messaging her with "you've got time to post on social media but not set a date ?". Modern times eh!
You can and it's very possible..1) shouldn't be texting anyway calling is better and can get off the phone faster..and yes say you just busy or tell them straight up we can talk on our date, i like talking face to face etc...she will understand if she not crazy and busy herself
If you already hooked up with her and she is texting you all the time just tell her to come over. Don't be a robot thinking you have to go on official dates all the time.
It's all about applying the underlying fundamentals on the principles coach Corey teaches and not being robotic in the approach... Scarcity creates value.
Many guys get into a situation where they spend too much time talking and texting on the phone, and then wonder why the woman loses attraction. That’s what happens when you’re easily available, too willing to talk on the phone and not spending enough time getting together in person.
THE DOVE LMAOOOOO
Quick question what happens when if a girl knows the material and is resistant to it
It’s really just about having a busy life that you’re proud of. There’s no game playing. He says it all the time. If you have a busy life that you’re proud of you don’t have time to sit around texting someone all day.
@Adam-np5jx - It is a game, though. The dating phase is a power struggle. Women know this, and they are very good at this game.
Even if a girl is aware of this material, if she is a healthy minded woman, she won't be able to resist feeling attracted to you when you act like a man.
Read the book 10 to 15 times. Instead of it being a game, it becomes your natural confidence and charm. If she is resistant to Corey's material don't date her. The book will bring out the best of the best and the worst of the worst.
@@AndrewAung1992 thank you advise brother. I
Don't B.S. the Coach!
The robot is a pissa
Some of these guys are so bad it’s hard to watch and listen without cringing
There are way worse ones than this lol
🦭 🕊 Comeon man 007 🔫
First
Don't be a 'Digital Penpal' ...well said
A lot of beta behaviors get straightened out by talking to more than one girl. Doesn’t mean you have to be a scumbag or cheat, but don’t be fake about your inherent pursuit of wanting to meet women
You’d be surprised how a woman’s attitude changes once she knows you talk/date other women, and not just her. It’s almost like a turn on for them
@lionelt7882 - Yep, it's called preselection. It's powerful.
@@lionelt7882 this world operates on paradoxes my friend
14:21 kills me everytime lol
What happened to the intro song Coach? We miss the jingle...it gets us going!
Ol Chad Thundercock...
Man I made this mistake end of 2022 into early 23. This girl was blowing my phone up, especially when I was home alone with Covid. I knew it was wrong to do, yet I still responded and went along with the text banter. After about a month of that in between dates, she got bored of me by late January '23. Hit me hard because we really connected on our final date and had incredible sex. I'm not sure if she got scared off by how that date went, as I saw she had more healing to do after the betrayal from her divorce. Regardless, it was a reminder to chill on the texting.
Sounds like a woman who is emotionally all over the place due to a recent divorce. They can come on really strong for a while and then just disappear. I doubt that the texting in between dates had a negative effect, considering your last date was amazing, like you said.
That being said, it is okay to text back and forth for a bit in between dates if she is the one initiating, you vary your response times, and you are not trying to get to know her through text or getting caught up in a long back and forth exchange for hours. A few playful texts back and forth, then I nicely end the conversation, or I let her text be the last one in the conversation if her last message doesn't require a response.
Coach always tells us to dodge recently divorced women , I learned the hard way before I started reading his stuff much more the year before . You’ll do better
Second person 🥳🥳
I don’t think so, if you don’t get to know her she will ghost you.
Get to know her in person. Not over the phone
Birddddman 😂
I am so amused 😂
Coach, job security for you! People follow you for years and still do exactly opposite of what you teach! 😂😂😂
Lol. It's why he says there is no competition. Doesn't matter how many men read his book. Only a small few will truly understand and grasp it.
This is a big issue for me, most women I match with on bumb/tinder wanna text for a week plus before agreeing to a date. I don’t have time for that. How do I approach that? I usually just move on after they tell me that
It's different on a dating site because you are strangers. The book assumes you have met a woman in person and talked to her for at least 10 minutes and built a bit of rapport. Most women have to feel rapport with you before meeting up, but if you text her all the time like she wants, she will get bored and ghost you. I would arrange a day and time to voice call or video call, build some rapport, see if you click, then set the date and follow the book from there.