In this video, Dr. Laura explains the causes of Sibling Rivalry and how we as parents can help our children get past the resentment to enjoy and appreciate each other.
1. Competition for scarce resources (if tiger jumpes in, will she notice? Our genes evolve really slowly, to shove of the competitor, they need the parent's presence to know if they can seave them in case of emergency) We need to see their needs and meet them. We need to validate their feelings of being unseeen because of the new baby in the family. 2. The needs of the children are often in conflict. It is a part of learning the conflict resolution skills. The sibling is an opportunity to learn that. We need to make sure that suppressed feelings do not become subconscious driving force in them. 3.Children have immature brains amd not much impulse control. They need to work things out. 4. No child is born with conflict resolution skills. Our goal is to teqch them how to express their wants and needs without attacking, how to share. Our goal is to help them express their anger and resolve the conflict in a healthy productive way. 5. Parents comparing their children to each other. We do not want - She prefers the child, I do not matter. - Intervention without taking sides. We can teach our children feel seen, valued, connected + conflict resolution.
1. Competition for scarce resources (if tiger jumpes in, will she notice? Our genes evolve really slowly, to shove of the competitor, they need the parent's presence to know if they can seave them in case of emergency) We need to see their needs and meet them. We need to validate their feelings of being unseeen because of the new baby in the family.
2. The needs of the children are often in conflict. It is a part of learning the conflict resolution skills. The sibling is an opportunity to learn that. We need to make sure that suppressed feelings do not become subconscious driving force in them.
3.Children have immature brains amd not much impulse control. They need to work things out.
4. No child is born with conflict resolution skills. Our goal is to teqch them how to express their wants and needs without attacking, how to share. Our goal is to help them express their anger and resolve the conflict in a healthy productive way.
5. Parents comparing their children to each other. We do not want - She prefers the child, I do not matter. - Intervention without taking sides.
We can teach our children feel seen, valued, connected + conflict resolution.