Enkay47- im not okay

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  • Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
  • Enkay47- im not okay
    From ages 8-12, I dealt with a lot of abuse. I never told anyone because I was afraid of being viewed as weak or as less of a man. So instead of telling anyone about it, I escaped with music and poetry. I’m 25 years old now and I finally told my parents about what happened to me. It took me over a DECADE to feel safe enough to talk to my family about what I went through… that’s not okay. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and suffering if I found the courage to speak up and tell them what I was going through. I’m sharing this song with the world in the hopes to inspire people to tell their stories. If you’ve been through any sort of abuse, SPEAK UP. Tell someone before it’s too late. Growing up, I never heard ANYONE talk about this, especially in hip hop music. If I had heard someone, anyone, open up about their story, it might have inspired me to vocalize what I was going through as a kid. My goal is to help create a world where people feel safe sharing their stories. I’m being vulnerable in an effort to help others feel like they’re not alone. If you’re NOT OKAY, that’s OKAY. Just don’t bottle it up. You’re not alone. ❤️
    Prod by Pendo 46, Balloon Beats, Dylan Kusch & Third Seven
    Mixed & mastered by Jason Carter
    Video by Indie Black Magic
    Directed by Indie Black Magic & Enkay47
    Starring
    Logan Martin
    Hunter Martin
    Jordyn Martin
    Eliza Martin
    Justin Mobley
    Dimitri Martin
    Joe Edward metcalfe
    Get song here
    song.link/us/i...
    Lyrics
    Growing up
    I was m- by someone I trusted
    Growing up
    I never thought I was nothing
    Always wishing I was someone wasn’t
    Until the day that I woke up and discovered
    That I am amazing
    Yesterday I just had a conversation
    With someone that inspired me to make this
    I told myself I wasn’t gonna create this
    I f- hated myself
    Every time I looked inside of the mirror like
    I was afraid of myself
    Because I was different
    I didn’t know what to do
    Every time that I was talking with somebody new
    I felt like they were judging me too
    I never learned how to deal with the stress in my life
    So I learned to step in the booth
    I didn’t know how to deal with these insecurities
    I’ve been dealing with this immaturity
    Yeah I’ve been looking for the security
    I never got as a kid
    I was tryna protect my own little brother
    From it dealing with all of the s- that I did
    Cuz I went through a lot
    Yeah, I went through a lot
    So I never told anybody
    I never showed anybody the scars
    I didn’t know where to start
    So I’m gonna start from the heart
    F- I know this is hard
    Right now I’m alone in the dark
    Sitting alone in my car
    But I wanna help everybody that’s dealing
    With this
    Like I’m dealing with this
    So I made em this song
    Feel like there’s no escape
    No there’s no escape
    Feel like I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay
    And there’s no escape
    Feel like there’s no escape
    Feel like I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay
    Growing up
    I was m- by someone I trusted
    Growing up
    I never thought I was nothing
    Always wishing I was someone I wasn’t
    Until the day that I woke up and discovered
    That I am amazing
    Yesterday I just had a conversation
    With someone that inspired me to make this
    I told myself I wasn’t gonna create this
    Then I thought
    About everyone that was dealing with
    All of the s- I was dealing with
    I was afraid I was gonna be judged
    So I never told anyone I was dealing with
    Anything
    Yeah I’m always energetic
    Never been been pathetic
    Plus I never put myself first yeah
    I guess that I never learned my own self worth
    Because I was r-
    Yeah I was 8
    What was his name
    I don’t wanna say
    But ever since then I’ve been running away
    Or maybe I’m just f- running in place
    Regardless
    It feels like a weight has been lifted up
    Off of my chest
    To tell everyone the reason I’m depressed
    The reason I’m stressed
    I’m taking this off of my bucket list
    I’m hoping this helps
    Somebody that I’ve never met
    Cuz music has got me through a lot
    Yeah and I’m willing to make a bet
    That it’s gonna help you to
    I’m hoping it gets you through
    Whatever you’re dealing with
    I want you to know
    There’s a light at the end of the tunnel
    Whatever you’re dealing with it’ll be okay
    Feel like there’s no escape
    No there’s no escape
    I was so afraid
    I was so afraid
    I was so afraid
    Feel like there’s no escape
    No there’s no escape
    It’ll be okay
    It’ll be okay
    It’ll be okay
    Feel like there’s no escape
    No there’s no escape
    Feel like I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay
    Feel like there’s no escape
    No there’s no escape
    Feel like I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay
    No I’m not okay

КОМЕНТАРІ • 414

  • @Enkay47
    @Enkay47  Рік тому +221

    Lyrics in description.
    From ages 8-12, I dealt with a lot of abuse. I never told anyone because I was afraid of being viewed as weak or as less of a man. So instead of telling anyone about it, I escaped with music and poetry. I’m 25 years old now and I finally told my parents about what happened to me. It took me over a DECADE to feel safe enough to talk to my family about what I went through… that’s not okay. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and suffering if I found the courage to speak up and tell them what I was going through. I’m sharing this song with the world in the hopes to inspire people to tell their stories. If you’ve been through any sort of abuse, SPEAK UP. Tell someone before it’s too late. Growing up, I never heard ANYONE talk about this, especially in hip hop music. If I had heard someone, anyone, open up about their story, it might have inspired me to vocalize what I was going through as a kid. My goal is to help create a world where people feel safe sharing their stories. I’m being vulnerable in an effort to help others feel like they’re not alone. If you’re NOT OKAY, that’s OKAY. Just don’t bottle it up. You’re not alone. ❤️

    • @amandahallman3707
      @amandahallman3707 Рік тому +8

      Enkay47 thank you. It will be okay. You are okay. Song gave me chills. 💙💙💙

    • @EvilJesus33
      @EvilJesus33 Рік тому +5

      You're steady growing brother.

    • @beautifulblessing
      @beautifulblessing Рік тому +1

      Thank you

    • @AWRemixAI
      @AWRemixAI Рік тому +6

      What a LEGEND you are bro! You are not weak, in fact, this song proves just how strong you are. I felt that energy since I heard your music for the first time.
      🅴🅽🅺🅰🆈47
      🅻🅴🅶🅴🅽🅳

    • @Whitening98
      @Whitening98 Рік тому +3

      Bro this song, speechless. Your one of my favorite artist.

  • @Indieblackmagic
    @Indieblackmagic Рік тому +93

    Even after the countless hours editing this, I still gets chills. Forever legendary 🔥

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +16

      Love you homie. Thank you so much for creating this with me.

    • @jodesbromwell8886
      @jodesbromwell8886 Рік тому +1

      The number 47 guided this song into my life thank you ❤️

    • @lindathao6303
      @lindathao6303 10 місяців тому

      ​@@Enkay47stay strong too god loves you

    • @roloayers4587
      @roloayers4587 5 місяців тому

      ​@@lindathao6303​​​​ ​If there was a god then he wouldn't of been fu*king molested in the first place. Same as me, if there was a god then i wouldn't of got abused when i was a young child. Same as my mum, if there was a god then my mother wouldn't of got breast cancer and she's not even a bad person, she's been a nurse for years, dedicated to helping others and she finds out she's got breast cancer and not only that, she's also got inoperable cancer in her neck, so yeah no fu*king god.

  • @juggalo6291
    @juggalo6291 Рік тому +53

    Damn, bro. I imagine it took a lot for you to not only write this song, but to share it for everyone to hear. That's what I, along with many others, greatly respect about you. It's ok to not be ok. Keep your head up, man ❤

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +17

      This one was hard to release. I needed to though. I lived in fear of judgement for most of my life. I want others to know it’s okay to tell their story.

    • @nevaehharris9562
      @nevaehharris9562 Місяць тому

      I've been through this man

  • @OnlyMetal4Me
    @OnlyMetal4Me Рік тому +5

    As a man who is the exact same age as you and dealt with the same s*xual abuse from ages 6-10 this song made me fully bawl my eyes out with tears. I finally had a breakdown last year and ended up in therapy, my family still don't know but from it I was able to confide in friends I trusted and it felt like a weight off my shoulders. This song gave me the courage to share this comment with you, it will be okay
    Thank you Enkay, I mean that most sincerely. Please keep doing what you're doing, much love brother 🖤

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +4

      I’m genuinely sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad this song is able to help you. Having friends like that is really a gift, I hope you can have that difficult conversation in your family soon.. it’s hard but it really helps. Leaving everything in the shadows allows shame and fear to fester, shedding light on it heals your wounds. Wishing you the best man, thank you so much for this comment ❤️

    • @vincentboisvert4673
      @vincentboisvert4673 Рік тому +2

      my friend opened up about his abuse years after it happened and once we talked about it openly he could finally move on and now he is a really happy person.

  • @Shark_Studios2
    @Shark_Studios2 Місяць тому +1

    So real I can feel it in every word.

  • @canisXpolaris
    @canisXpolaris Рік тому +5

    Unfortunately, in my case, no one believed me, not even my mom. She called me multiple "lady of the night" names
    I gave up telling anyone. I got into more abusive situations. In and out of hard drug addictions
    Thank you, so much, for sharing your story. I'm not so alone

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +3

      I’m so sorry you went through that.❤️

  • @revablack968
    @revablack968 Рік тому +1

    Im so glad i got lost in the deep world of youtube videos and stunbled upon you and your music. 🔥🥵🔥🥵🔥🥵

  • @dLEARiousZ
    @dLEARiousZ Рік тому +19

    I just want everyone to know that its ok to not be ok, just seek help, its out there. Also therapy through music is a good start, much love to Enkay for speaking out on such a hard subject, love ya bro!

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +3

      Love you homie

    • @RollingThunder85
      @RollingThunder85 Рік тому +1

      To whom do you reach out to and what can or will they help me with

    • @dLEARiousZ
      @dLEARiousZ Рік тому

      @@RollingThunder85 therapists are a good start, they can help you in dealing with issues you don’t like to talk about with friends and family.

  • @Itzmonday1
    @Itzmonday1 Рік тому +3

    Thanks! You are the goat

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +2

      Thank you. ❤️

    • @Itzmonday1
      @Itzmonday1 Рік тому

      @@Enkay47 no thank you for all you do

  • @janeehiett98
    @janeehiett98 Рік тому +7

    Thank you for sharing this. What you are doing WILL help others to open up about their experiences. I too, was molested as a child. It’s f’d me up for decades with alcohol, drugs and other shit that I’d rather not talk about on this platform. I am sober now as well and admittedly, am able to experience actual joy in life. I still struggle, I still cry and break down more than I should at times, I’ve almost died from a suicide attempt then slit my wrist open after that first real attempt. Thankfully, I realized that I didn’t really want to die before I even finished dragging that carving knife across my wrist. I called 911 myself.
    Again, thank you for your music and your strength to open up about your own experiences. Your doing this will save lives. Love to you and your music. - J

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +5

      I’m sorry you dealt with that janee… it sounds like we‘ve been dealt some pretty similar cards. Congratulations on being sober though, idk you but I’m proud of you. Keep going and never give up on life. People like us were given the opportunity to help others in similar situations, we can’t let that go to waste. Sending love and positivity. ❤️🙌

    • @Judy-ln5di
      @Judy-ln5di Рік тому +1

      Journey to be great and beautiful when living ✨💕

    • @Judy-ln5di
      @Judy-ln5di Рік тому +1

      God bless the truth 🙏and paint are faces as warriors 🙏of our

  • @Whos_Angel_bro
    @Whos_Angel_bro Рік тому +27

    🔥🔥the song is fire and emotional I'm so so sorry you went through that Nathan, we all go through hell and your music has helped me and alot of others cope

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +10

      Don’t be, I’m proud of who I am. Appreciate you 🙏🏻

  • @Itzmonday1
    @Itzmonday1 Рік тому +3

    Thanks!

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +1

      Thank you so much

  • @tylerb556
    @tylerb556 Рік тому +2

    This is going to be deep 🔥🔥🔥💯💯

  • @dianabaker4380
    @dianabaker4380 Рік тому +1

    One of the realest and hardest songs I listen to, most days i can't and some days it's a blessing tho it feels selfish to feel its a blessing cause it hurts to know that you know how it feels, ain't sth we wish on anyone not even our enemies

  • @stonedgoddess420
    @stonedgoddess420 Рік тому +11

    Brave man for talking about it and making a song about it, im sure everyone out there that can relate really appreciates this , keep the good work up dude!

    • @Evanz111
      @Evanz111 Рік тому

      Amazing channel name! I love it :’)

  • @wrigleyy69
    @wrigleyy69 Рік тому +1

    I'm 40 now, but still live in the years of ages 5-8. My friend I trusted molested me and if I told anyone I would be in trouble. I can't escape that pain no matter what! Your song gives me amazing chills, vibes, and I don't feel alone with your words! I've listened to you since your first freestyle in your car 6 years ago!! Thank you for being you man!

    • @MIVidaLoca666
      @MIVidaLoca666 9 місяців тому

      I was molest by my oldest brother and my older cousin I got silenced all my life took me until I'm 35yrs old to finally speak up and not care about making the family mad

  • @kingiez4209
    @kingiez4209 Рік тому +1

    I found you back 4 years ago and I've listened to your music for 4 years keep it up dude you come a long way

  • @Massofman
    @Massofman Рік тому +1

    Just got the notigraph and damn this is so powerful!

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +1

      Thank you bro. That means a lot coming from you. ❤️

  • @isaiahsetzer8161
    @isaiahsetzer8161 Рік тому +5

    This song made me cry it hit my heart hard I’m sorry brotha but I’m always here if you need to talk or any no one is alone

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +3

      This song makes me cry nearly every time I play it. I performed it for the first time in Seattle and started sobbing in front of the crowd. That’s GOOD though. Healing is painful.

  • @aliramono6768
    @aliramono6768 Рік тому +19

    It takes a lot of courage to tell a story like this. Your music is inspiring. I hope it gives others a way to heal through their own traumas as well. Thank you for being so brave & hopefully the song encourages others to also heal. Your music is therapy. 💙

  • @RapFanMan1
    @RapFanMan1 Рік тому +2

    Best Shortest 4 min in my life 😭❤️❤️❤️

  • @Ilovemems
    @Ilovemems Рік тому +2

    I love your stuff

  • @Gage_Bertovich
    @Gage_Bertovich Рік тому +7

    This one hit home man, all I can say is I know what you're going for. Music is one of the best ways to cope. Love you man

  • @Lfg46
    @Lfg46 Рік тому +1

    As a survivor myself thank you for making this. 😥😥🙏🙏

  • @StephanieHendricks333
    @StephanieHendricks333 Рік тому +1

    I’m not one to share. I’m not one to open up and be able to talk about feelings and things like that but this spoke to me in a way that I’ve never been able to speak out about or confess to until now. ….
    I felt this in every way possible. The things I went through and the people who tried to silence me……….
    At least I’m not alone.

  • @D34dm4nk1ll1ng
    @D34dm4nk1ll1ng Рік тому +1

    @Enkay47 when i was younger i was abused and to an extent no one talked about it no one every really did anything about it... ur song definitely hits different, and the shittiest part is, iv recently found out that iv compartmentalized what had happened and never worked through it, but as of recently i have been and then to find this song it means everything.... much love from one victor to another ..... "victor" (putting one foot infront of the other not loosing the battle) and anytime you or anyone for that fact doesn't feel like they can stand on their own well be one another's rock..

  • @lucidnightmare2695
    @lucidnightmare2695 Рік тому

    Standing in the middle of nowhere struggling with ending it all. UA-cam randomly starts playing this song on my phone. Thank you.

  • @Mandydavisinkedupblonde
    @Mandydavisinkedupblonde Рік тому +1

    ❤️ very proud 👏 first step is speaking.. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @MJ-nl9hs
    @MJ-nl9hs Рік тому +6

    It’s okay to not be okay we all have our secrets of what we went through much respect for this song and opening up about your situation when you were younger

  • @JacksonPierce
    @JacksonPierce Рік тому +1

    This is so powerful brother. Much love.

  • @philipwynia5371
    @philipwynia5371 9 днів тому

    Just wanted to say thank you for writing this! It's helped me, I was molested by a babysitter when I was 3. I tried telling my mom around that time but she never understood my words then. I'm 34 now, but allot of the times I remember exactly what happened. When I was in high school I was working at a store and I saw that same babysitter come into the store and I hid in the back room, I was scared. Thank you for speaking out! Ik it's hard and not alot of people talk about it but I believe this will help alot of people, from the bottom of my heart, thank you

  • @Itzmonday1
    @Itzmonday1 Рік тому +4

    ❤thank you man luv the music 🙏

  • @melvinazor7041
    @melvinazor7041 Рік тому +1

    Discovered this guy from Matthew tuck last year and listened to his popular songs last month, I'm glad UA-cam recommended him again because it's the perfect timing while I'm feeling completely alone, this is very helpful!

  • @lovelypaige5501
    @lovelypaige5501 Рік тому +2

    Yessss I’ve been waiting!!!

  • @Rv3TRIPS
    @Rv3TRIPS Рік тому +1

    Started from the bottom bro. Now look where you're at. You're my fucking hero bro. Every song you've ever posted has kept me sane and always pushing forward. Idk how you do this every day man, but holy fuck I respect and care for you so much. Keep fighting that fight bro. If God tries to lay another hand on you, I'll be more than happy to lay this heavy hammer of a fist on top of anyone that tries. Much love bro 🤘

  • @OutcastWrestling620
    @OutcastWrestling620 Рік тому +3

    What an amazing song with an even better message.

  • @davidc.5703
    @davidc.5703 Рік тому +1

    AMAZING!!!💯💯💚💜

  • @The-Last-Airbender-e2k
    @The-Last-Airbender-e2k Рік тому +3

    i shed tears listening to this, my guy you’re incredible in every way and you’re incredibly strong for sharing your story in these trying times, keep your head up and keep smiling because we all love you and wish you the best in this life.❤️

  • @anthony1705
    @anthony1705 Рік тому +1

    Brother you have helped me so much these past 4 months. Gf of 2 years cheated on me as I had the ring ready. And tried to end it all. Got out of the hospital and found hope through you. I hope you have someone in your life that helps you like you have helped me and many others. God is with you Nathan

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому

      Love you brother. Idk you personally but reading your comment resonated with me.. thank you for this. I hope my music will continue to help you. ❤️

    • @anthony1705
      @anthony1705 Рік тому

      @@Enkay47 The best thing I found is to not look back. Your past doesn’t make you. Shape your future for who you want to be. We’ve both come along ways. Let’s go further

  • @nataliek4333
    @nataliek4333 Рік тому +1

    This is amazing but oh my god can I give you a hug you are amazing angel and so strong you deserve all the love and shouldn’t of had to go through that angel
    ! Much love keep being you ❤

  • @michelleelle97
    @michelleelle97 Місяць тому

    I don’t usually listen to this type of music anymore but this one got me especially going through something similar I feel like I’m healing enough to listen to this type of music again

  • @cata2567
    @cata2567 Рік тому +2

    Thx
    Can t say to be strong bcs u are already, peace🔥

  • @victorparedes6044
    @victorparedes6044 Рік тому +1

    I been pushing the algorithm, listening to new music all day, and this song is undeniably the hit of the day, the hidden gem. Thank you Enkay, keep doing what you're doing, we need more music like this.

  • @jameshardy3051
    @jameshardy3051 Рік тому +1

    this song is so powerful there no words to describe how this song made me feel bc ive gone through this to and i told my mom and dad when i was 18 and it was years before that when everything happened i just wanna say thank you for opening up and writing this song and ik its not easy at all to do that let alone make a song about it so thank you

  • @jorgeechevarria215
    @jorgeechevarria215 Рік тому

    Prayers to the victims. Great track.😎😎😎👍👍👍🔥🔥🔥🙏🙏

  • @dianabaker4380
    @dianabaker4380 Рік тому

    I don't understand why normal people who didn't face anything like this get annoyed when they hear me playing this song like it's personally offending them somehow but idgaf what they think or feel, I'm always gonna play real music i relate to. Thank you for making music nate. You're amazing

  • @ElaciousAnjel
    @ElaciousAnjel Рік тому

    I'm in tears right now. I can feel you through your music and it's beautiful. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing. 🙏

  • @AverageJoe2023
    @AverageJoe2023 Рік тому +1

    I’m sorry you went thru all that. Man need to learn how to speak up and you are paving the way for them. Much love

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +1

      Don’t be, it made me who I am. Appreciate you man. ❤️

  • @StephanieHendricks333
    @StephanieHendricks333 Рік тому

    The way this was felt was as if I was in this video and it was my life………….
    Because it truly was ……..
    ………
    …….
    Thank you for reminding me that I was NEVER alone. …. That other people feel our pain.
    I was also 8.

  • @rushellehales7179
    @rushellehales7179 Рік тому

    Devinely guided Devinely Protected ❣️ Blessings to Us all at the end of the tunnel ❣️🙏🕊️🤍✨

  • @carolebrooks6264
    @carolebrooks6264 Рік тому

    OMG! That is soooo f*#%ing powerful!!!!!
    You had me almost fall to the floor. Tears in my eyes. Lumps in my through.
    I applaud you.
    I hear you.
    I believe you.
    It was NEVER your fault.
    You are not alone!
    Thank you soooooo much for making this and for sharing it here. You are a hero!!!
    💪👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • @trent3504
    @trent3504 Рік тому

    Wow thankyou for this song... I was molested as a kid by my mother's so called friends and this song made me realise I'm not weak to speak. Everyone needs to speak up men or women. I know I'm not weak now I'm a fighter and survivor thanks to your music. You saved me from a dark path. I now know I'm here for a reason and it's time to take the steps to change. You are underrated and people need to know your name and music . 2023 is enkay47s year.

  • @nathanmerchant9041
    @nathanmerchant9041 Рік тому

    Everyone needs to speak out and make this abuse known without being scared, BUT definitely fully protected and saved 🙏🏻🙏🏻👍🏻

  • @xxShadowTheScythexx
    @xxShadowTheScythexx Рік тому

    ... i feel this... That intro, man i was molested to, by friends of my parents, ppl i was supposed to trust... And my little brother suffered the same, after 20+yrs he finally stopped blaming me for not being able to protect him and now we talk once a year on his birthday. Ty for this song. You are not alone in this

  • @braylathomas3811
    @braylathomas3811 Рік тому +1

    This song cuts deep thank you so much for sharing I appreciate you keeping you in my prayers 🙏

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +1

      Appreciate you, thank you. 🙌❤️

  • @sssghoul9257
    @sssghoul9257 Рік тому

    Why does this not have more views. Underrated artist if I’d ever seen one. I’m here to stay. Srry didn’t find it sooner!

  • @paulhale8205
    @paulhale8205 Рік тому

    It's happened to me when I was younger and everyday I honestly wished I could of disappeared from this earth till I heard this song it is hard to speak about having your inacenses just torn away but no matter what we have to keep on moving....🙏🙏🙏

  • @awesomeperson
    @awesomeperson Рік тому

    Amazing 🔥 very powerful

  • @KatherineKieras
    @KatherineKieras 4 місяці тому

    You're both courageous brave men. Thank you for this. Thank you for being vulnerable in order to help others dealing with this. ❤❤

  • @mitchellbrownlee5835
    @mitchellbrownlee5835 5 місяців тому

    amazing music brother, keep it up ❤‍🔥

  • @LADYxREBEL
    @LADYxREBEL 8 місяців тому

    your braveness is so rare now days your a better person for doing this we need more people like you around

  • @michellemims4269
    @michellemims4269 Рік тому +3

    I'm so proud of you for finally telling your parents about it. It took alot of courage to make this song. I know it will help alot of people that listen to your music. You have always helped me thru your music and here is another song that is helping me. Keep making music cause I dont know where I would be in my life if it wasnt for your song Set Me Free.

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +2

      Thanks Michelle

    • @michellemims4269
      @michellemims4269 Рік тому

      @@Enkay47 your welcome thank you for being you and making your music

  • @Rednekplay
    @Rednekplay Рік тому +1

    Dam man I feel like you know who I am I grew up my hole life believe the if I show any negative emotions the I was les a man until as u put it until the day I woke up and new I was grate

  • @TheyWantUSilent
    @TheyWantUSilent Рік тому

    Holy shit. As a 45 year old man who completely understands this and feels it to my core, I have to say thank you for making this song. Im balling my eyes out right now, but I am o.k. now. I spent far too many years not letting anyone know that I really wasn't ok. ...I wish I had this song at least 30 years ago. 💔

  • @kaydenbrower362
    @kaydenbrower362 Рік тому

    This song,it hit deep. Instant tears, I can’t put into words how beautiful this song is. Thank you so much for sharing this🖤

  • @mracorn2669
    @mracorn2669 Рік тому +2

    Thanks Nathan I needed a song like this. That's why I stick to gaming because inside the games I can't be hurt anymore like I once was. You're awesome man keep up the music and just remember you aren't alone I'll be here forever.

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому

      Let’s play a game sometime, I’d love to hear your story my friend. My psn is @EnkayKawaguchi

    • @mracorn2669
      @mracorn2669 Рік тому

      @@Enkay47 alright man I'll add you on Playstation. But I also play PC so if you have any cross network games you could give me your username and I'll add you on there

  • @OnlyDreamers
    @OnlyDreamers Рік тому +1

    AMAZING SONG! We Love You Brotha and feel your pain. This song will be important to so many people.

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +1

      Thank you guys. You were one of the very first people I showed this song to, I remember all of us crying in the studio listening to it haha. Love you fr bro, thank you. ❤️

    • @OnlyDreamers
      @OnlyDreamers Рік тому

      @@Enkay47 Love you too brotha

  • @itsJoeKMusic
    @itsJoeKMusic Рік тому +1

    Great song man. 🔥🫡

  • @no7627
    @no7627 Рік тому

    It's always hard to let out our feelings to other people but you told yours with thousands of people and I believe there's still hope for us if we let out our stories too

  • @CarriesAdventures
    @CarriesAdventures Рік тому

    No one should ever have to go through this but I definitely do understand. I am so sorry that ever happened and we shouldn't have to carry that hurt and burden all our lives. Much love to you ❤❤

  • @EvilJesus33
    @EvilJesus33 Рік тому +2

    🔥🔥🔥🤠🔥🔥🔥

  • @russellrogers3314
    @russellrogers3314 Рік тому +1

    Honestly ima happy to see some talk bout this subject and your spot on open up is a nightmare everyday I struggle alot growing up ima 30 and I just now started talking bout with my wife and honestly I feel as tho alot of weight was lift off my shoulders

  • @daltonkirby688
    @daltonkirby688 Рік тому

    I swear brother, it's like you are telling my story!!! Your music is amazing and it's helped me through alot because knowing I'm not the only one brings me some comfort and the courage to carry on! Thank you so much for all your amazing music! Mush love 🍄 🙌

  • @keilimccormack3013
    @keilimccormack3013 Рік тому

    I just need to thank you for making this.. this has always been my greatest fear for my children. I have two little boys ages 9 and 7 and the kids you chose in this video happened to look a lot like my kids..... My children have not had an easy life and because of circumstances I cannot change at all for the next two years I cannot have them in my custody. My older son recently came to me and told me things that scare me so much because I'm pretty sure he's telling me this is happening to him or his brother. Yet, when I filed a report and tried to have somebody go out there to take care of it or at least to check on them; they were stonewalled and never even talked to my youngest son (the one that I'm most concerned about) and closed the case, immediately, without even investigating. So your song literally had me sobbing out loud all of the pain and fear inside of myself. I know its time for me to make my next move on this because I will never give up and just allow anything like this to happen... And if I'm wrong: then I'll owe someone an apology but if I am right... How can I call myself Mother I believe my children are being caused this pain? So although it hurts me so much and it scares me to think of what I need to do; thank you for making this song to remind me what I need to focus on.
    I am so sorry that there was nobody to fight for you, to protect you. I'm trying to protect mine while staying within the limits of the law and it is not easy. and I'm about to give up on the legal side because even if I go to prison: how how can I not justify that, if they get out safe?

  • @merveningunlugu6005
    @merveningunlugu6005 Рік тому

    Great Video Love it !!!😍👌

  • @daltonkirby688
    @daltonkirby688 Рік тому

    This dude is my Favorite artist lately!!!! I even have a signed copy of his newest album!!!! Keep it up bro, your music speaks volumes to some of us!!!!!!!!!! Mush love 🍄

  • @WonderingNomad311
    @WonderingNomad311 Рік тому

    Thank you for this! I went through the same with someone who was a family member, took me along time to heal, this song hit very hard to home! God bless you man, thank you for telling your story ❤🙏

  • @sarahjohnson5891
    @sarahjohnson5891 Рік тому

    I went through similar thing as a child, this the one that hit me the hardest when I saw you last year live because it was too close to home for me,I think I started to say it but changed the subject, it's not easy to say it outloud that it happened, worse when its someone close to the family. This is why I love your songs, alot of them hit right where music should.

  • @x.s.bleeding7780
    @x.s.bleeding7780 Рік тому

    Powerful Messages. Big Love and Respect ✊

  • @katiemitchell26
    @katiemitchell26 7 місяців тому

    You're not alone. Same thing happened to me. It was my oldest brother. It breaks constantly because when I finally spoke out they all believed him. And sadly he knew they would. Sometimes I feel like it's my fault.

  • @efraindario3059
    @efraindario3059 Рік тому

    This song hits home for me.

  • @tee3287
    @tee3287 Рік тому +1

    amazing song, but so sorry for what you went through. so glad you spoke up, you're an inspiration 🤍🤍🤍

  • @ShadezGhost
    @ShadezGhost Рік тому +2

    What a masterpiece 🖤

  • @Crux-Beats
    @Crux-Beats Рік тому +1

    Stil have a lot of respect for u bro, I love the song even tho it should have been fucking hard to write it...We Deal With So Much Shit Growing up & it doesn't get any better. I still deal with trauma since 5 years old and the hardest part is you remember everything like it was yesterday. I stand with u bro

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +1

      Appreciate you, thank you. ❤️

  • @infectedvoid
    @infectedvoid Рік тому

    oh my god, that's a pure masterpiece. i almost crying right now... so many feels.

  • @MustafaG36
    @MustafaG36 Рік тому

    Keep up the great work...

  • @NFnSTAN
    @NFnSTAN Рік тому +2

    One of my favorite Enkay songs ❤

    • @Enkay47
      @Enkay47  Рік тому +1

      ❤️
      This is my favorite song I’ve made. Just wanted to say that.

  • @djjonnyblaze555
    @djjonnyblaze555 Рік тому

    God Bless 💯

  • @mbj399
    @mbj399 Рік тому +1

    Lot of us out there I guess… you gave me another day brother…

  • @uffuoinn4682
    @uffuoinn4682 Місяць тому

    Man, this song... I was 10 when it happened to me two different people. Different times.. but the difference is. I did tell my family about the first time right after it happened... sadly, they didn't believe me. And continued to bring him around. To make jokes about him coming to cuddle with me It took them 13 years. Drugs and alcohol abuse. And an attempt. For them to finally see that I'm not okay.. I'm 25 now, trying to do the best that I can to find peace with my. I recently found my faith again. And because of that, I've been able to find 1 year of Sobriety, and i have my own home that i feel safer in..

  • @cosman1969
    @cosman1969 10 місяців тому

    What a song who ever you . What a brave lad i thank you

  • @riikkusga
    @riikkusga Рік тому

    It's so important to find songs like this more & more.. To me these bring motivation and trust to go on and dream and great life which now on I have. Opportunity which I didn't have as a child and teenager.. I didn't have a choice to speak or have any support.. Now I have found better environment to live and people to count on

  • @shockzbaby7975
    @shockzbaby7975 Рік тому +2

    Nathan… I’ve been waiting for this song to drop since you showed us part of it. I want you to know I’m BEYOND PROUD OF YOU! You are NOT alone. This song makes me want to give a big ass hug bro. We had a lot of deep conversations but this hit hard. I related so much (being a female at that) I’ve held so much in. Still do. It’s okay to be open. You know how many people you just saved with this song? You’re a inspiration. Your strength just helped hundreds of other people be strong. You’re amazing Nate. Love you bro… - Hayley…

  • @randyharmon3655
    @randyharmon3655 Рік тому

    LOve all your music never disappointing

  • @derekmalet8850
    @derekmalet8850 Рік тому

    Very powerful song.

  • @saltgaming9682
    @saltgaming9682 Рік тому

    I've been trying to find a way to express what I went through and I can never find the words and somehow you found the words I could not, thankyou ❤️ godbless your soul 🙏🙏🙏

  • @JeRzVibeInstrumental
    @JeRzVibeInstrumental Рік тому

    😪🥺😢😢😢🙏🙏🙏I'm sorry!!! Its really hard, to escape from the pain. It never goes away especially when it happens at a young age. It messes your whole life up in the future if you don't know how to deal with it. Mentally it sucks. I'm 37 and still fight the mind.

  • @Frosty0762
    @Frosty0762 Рік тому

    I finally got time to listen to this and I'm blown away. It took SO much courage for you to share this. I'm a female, I never spoke about my own demons. Not until it was far too late and 20 years later from the last time. I hope your story helps MEN speak UP!! Women too. Don't let these sick fucks run your lives anymore. This scars you for life. Makes you feel disgusting. I cant imagine how men feel...little boys.. nobody considers that it DOES happen to them. That they deal with this too! It's hard to talk about it when you think no one will believe you. Someone always will. Even just one person. They will. It's a fear of mine that my own son or daughter will go through it and not speak up. You're so strong for sharing this. So brilliant. And not alone. ❤️❤️ This will help so many, I know it. Also, it's okay to not be okay. That's the scars of life. Some we wear on our skin, some inside our hearts. It's what we do about them. This was beautiful, I cried for you. I felt your lyrics. You're so brave.

  • @nathanmerchant9041
    @nathanmerchant9041 Рік тому

    🙏🏻 God bless you and yours 🙏🏻

  • @sananelan7101
    @sananelan7101 Рік тому

    That is absurdly beautiful.