I have lived in a cocoon all my life. My fears of something bad happening have kept me homebound. I have always use my fear of airplanes for not flying, not planning trips. My daughter has taught me so much about living the abundant life. I did it think i deserved it. She moved to Seattle, WA, today and my grief overwhelms me. I tell her I will never get on an airplane to go see her. Well, I am changing my mindset about my “safe’ living, and I will look forward to going out to taking a cross country trip. I am tired of being scared and living scare. This new mentality is going to open doors for me and I just might become someone I don’t even recognize at the end of the year.
I am so excited for you!!! I could relate to your feelings so much! Planes are safe and I am ready to get on that plane and meet my sister...you are so brave and strong!! Much love to you!!! Xo Susan & Desi
I am so proud of you! My son moved very far away from me, and I miss him terribly but, like you, I am afraid of flying. I decided I love my son more than I fear the plane ride, so I bought a nonrefundable (meaning, I can't back out!) ticket and will go visit him next month! I admit, I spoke to my doctor and she prescribed a mild anti-anxiety medication for the flights. While I wait for the time to arrive, I have been researching places to go once I'm there and picking up travel sizes of things I'll need. I'm actually starting to feel excited about it and can't wait to see my son! I wish you strength and courage to overcome obstacles!
I left an divorced my husband after 22 years. He drank up every dime and went out with his drinking buddies every week by himself . I cut coupons and saved 20 a week. I had one shirt and one pair of shorts. I clothed and fed the kids. I was starving. Eac h week the twenty disappeared from my wallet. The day he said I was too stupid to spend money. I left him and went to my mom. He took my car keys wiped out the bank account and demanded I return. I never did. At my mothers house I was able to put on fifty pounds and get a job and pay for a divorce
I am 70 and have been divorced since 1997. Had two children and raised them alone. Never remarried so I must have learned the lesson the first time. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't love or appreciate you. That makes you feel lonely. It is a choice on how you want to live I guess.
I have been single my entire life and am happy with it. I have learned that I am more than enough. We must thrive and find joy if we can. Being true to our authenticity brings our greatest happiness.
Been divorced since ‘85. Tried to love him again and was used, hurt and begged - moved on, put myself through UCLA undergrad w/2 children, took care of parents separately across the country. Went back to my 1st love Theatre - just could not support us - work as a contractor - safe - children grown with their own families. Still single, but stronger. No fighting, arguing. Look forward to finding someone, but will never Fight again.
One of my lessons learned “ too late” is I didn’t adhere to my list of what I wanted in a husband. I was raised in church so I wanted a man that attended church … at 19 I dated and married a man whose family didn’t attend church. I was stupid in thinking he would go to church once we married. He was opposite everything on “ My Husband List”… he smoked, was divorced, had children that he didn’t pay the required child support, chased other women, and many other things. I regret not praying and waiting on God to send me the husband He had for me. As I’m told by the husband’s family I have two beautiful daughters from him. His family continues to include me in their lives. About age 30 I started a transformation to become more like the person I was before I met my husband. We divorced after 20 years. I was confident I could support myself and the younger daughter. I’m 71, financially secure and happy with myself. I have never been one to be bored… that word wasn’t allowed in my parents household. I now focus on helping others and following Jesus Christ as He leads me.
There are lots of men that attend church who are rotten men. Just because a man attends church doesn’t make him a “good man”. You have to look way deeper than that!
I stayed in an abusive second marriage for 18 yrs because I didn’t want to fail at marriage and be divorced a second time. I kept thinking if I did everything right and perfect he would eventually see value in me. Wrong. I finally realized nothing I did would ever make him be any other way than his abusive, adulterous, miserable self. He didn’t see my value -first, because he was incapable, but most important, because I didn’t see my value. I realized I was worthy of so much more (even if I ended up alone) and divorced him in 2014. He immediately moved in with someone else and married them. Never settle and never sacrifice your self worth to please another❤️
A doctor once told me to never settle. I never forgot that. After my divorce I had a couple good relationships but deep down I knew that I was better off single. I still feel that way:). The one thing I learned almost too late is God has a plan for us. I’m happy and content and very grateful for the blessings I have. When I was young I would say I took too much for granted.
@@juliefizpatrick513 Very nice comment, happy to see you found the truth and the way to live a fullfilling life now. When young one naturally makes mistakes and often might take things for granted, important is, that one realizes this mistake and corrects it, like you did.
I lost my two older siblings at 54 each. Both 4 years apart and suddenly. Now that my parents are gone, I’m an orphan. The lesson is, don’t worry about tomorrow, live today. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Be thankful for everyday.
I had a husband who abused me mentally. He knew exactly what buttons to push to make me feel inferior. Once we were out for breakfast and he had his nose in a newspaper. After we ordered I started to chat to him about the restaurant and he slammed the paper down on the table and yelled “can’t you see I’m reading??” I was mortified and sat sipping my coffee wanting to get up and run. We did everything to his code. One night I suggested we check out a new coffee shop that just opened a few blocks away. Nope not interested. Out of sheer boredom I suggested we go to a pub and he was out of his chair like a shot. We always had to sit at the bar and he would start chatting to another guy about sports and after two hours of being ignored I got up and went home. He wasn’t very nice to his mother either and always talked down to her. I finally realized he was an alcoholic and I should have done it right then but It took me 12 years to walk out. I lost the best prime years of my life to that abuse. It took me forever to detox from him. Even though I was free I still felt guilty spending money because he had brain washed me so much about wasting money. I forgot who I was and felt like a misfit in my freedom. I had to build my self esteem from scratch. I’m 66 and I still beat myself up at times but I’ve come a long way - Worked 30 years and earned a pension. Do you ever really heal? I guess but the scars are still visible. I think sometimes mental abuse is just as bad as physical. I’ve been 30 years divorced now and I do try to wish him well as he was obviously hurting from something to make him drink. So yeah marriage was lonely for me and I never remarried. What’s that old saying- once bitten twice shy.
Mental and emotional abuse are as destructive as physical or verbal abuse, possibly more so. Cheers to you for getting out of that relationship and living a better life!!
I was in a 40 year marriage of verbal abuse, l couldn’t leave because we had five children and l was a SAHM. I couldn’t support them. Because l married so young l never realized how bad it was until the Lord took him and l was free.But it’s been ten years and l still suffer from the emotional trauma he inflicted on me.l will never trust another man because you see he treated me like a queen for a year before we married, but then yelled at me on our honeymoon and continued to yell for 40 years.
Forgive, forgive forgive, it’s the golden rule. It will set you free. I feel your pain 😢I understand. I can’t do it on my own so I pray for this grace. I hope you find and I hope you find peace. Look forward 😉
This is a very important message. I also learned the lessons and saw the truth of situations too late in life to change things for the better. But now I know better I will do better.. That old saying .. "If I knew then what I know now".. !!
I ran across this today and wanted to share this. ❤ "You’re going to realize it one day - that happiness was never about your job, or your degree, or being in a relationship. Happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all of those who came before you, it was never about being like the others. One day, you’re going to see it - that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chose to go. Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself, it was always about embracing the person you were becoming. One day, you will understand. That happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that happiness was never in the hands of other people. It was always about you. It was always about you." Bianca Sparacino
Beautiful video! I am in my 60's and was divorced about 30 years ago after 11 years of marriage. My marriage was the darkest, most painful time in my life. One thing I learned is that I function better as a single woman. I will not marry again. Your thoughts on empathy reminded me of this: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15
What I learned too late: Don’t anticipate retirement and travel, camping and gardening; Don’t wait for your happiness to explode after you lose those damn 10 stubborn pounds; Don’t wait to giggle until no one is around; Don’t overspend but don’t over save; don’t wait to be creative after you have more time; don’t wait to share your feelings and suddenly it’s too late. Do live! Do laugh! Do love! 💕 🙏✝️🇺🇸🦋🐾
In my younger years, I worked so hard to fit in with my friends that I never got to just be me...warts and all. At 72 I finally am myself with everyone. If they don't want to be around me, I'm no longer wounded by that. I realized they just have different paths than me and that's okay.😊
'No longer being wounded by that' is a very powerful and wise thing to say. It isn't easy to do either. It is a good way to look at it. Thanks for your comment it made me think.
I guess a life lesson that I am still struggling with is understanding that I am not responsible for everyone's happiness. I have lived my whole life trying to make sure everyone is happy that I lost myself somewhere along the way. I'm now 62 years old and still struggling with this and it has left me feeling drained. I love your videos. I always feel inspired after watching them.❤
Yep you are trying to be responsible and make everyone else happy but you forgot finding your own. I can soooo relate. I hope you find your happiness just as I am searching for mine.
I'm an introvert, I married an extrovert...with a drinking problem and LOTS of buddies. Why did I put up with it for too long. Well, I didn't know about a narc's 'love bomb' technique. Every time I left he would love bomb me...I believed him. I didn't know a narc CAN'T be alone, and sees others as supply for their own needs and nothing else. My marriage years were the loneliest of my 69 years. I LOVE being single, having my own dramafree place. I wish all teens would be educated about narcs/sociopaths/phychopaths it is a spectrum, they are remorseless, they will use you up-if allowed to.
Same scenario for me...on the first night of our honeymoon, he stayed in the Casino all night. We fought on our honeymoon....yep, an alcoholic and big time gambler! Expensive lesson. Didn't learn about narcissism until after my divorce....it should be taught in school early on.
Sometimes we lose people, not to death but to mistakes we make. We look at other people's lives and wish we had their's thinking it's a better life. Too soon we learn that the grass isn't always greener. We should definitely be grateful for what we have. I am so very sorry to all of you who have suffered abuse at the hands of your partner. My sister was the recipient of such abuse. Unfortunately, at 30 years old, he finally succeeded in ending her life. If you can leave safely, please do! They will not stop until they have no one to suffer their wrath! And for the ones who have gotten away, that's wonderful!! Please do not go back!! My sister did, several times😢 My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you❤
1) being a people pleaser only hurts me. 2) it’s okay to say, No. 3) it’s okay to dream. 4) no one is perfect, nor is their life. 5) forgiveness sets yourself free 6) my faith is not negotiable 7) hurting people hurt people 8) it’s okay to rest 9) set boundaries
@leaguiles6482 Can you please explain #1 for me, I'm missing something or I'm reading it wrong...Did you mean to say people "Pleaser"? Thank you...Nina
Lesson learned late: no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Another lesson: people sometimes have issues that are not related to us. Death and life are in the power of the tongue
Omg… after reading some of the comments below, I can’t even imagine ever there were so many miserable, wicked men out there in the world. After 13 years with the man of my dreams… my best friend, Totally kind, generous and loving, I lost him way too early at 54 cancer. We were planning so many wonderful things in an early retirement, and I still think of him, miss him every single day. Lesson learned is never ever take for granted those you love or who love you. Keep telling them every day how much you love and appreciate them… even for the little things, like holding your hand every time you walk together or pulling out a chair when you’re ready to sit down. Always live feeling blessed and it does come back to you!
Susan I was so blessed to have married my knight in shining armor. I just lost him to cancer to early in life. When I watch videos and see husbands and wives together I miss that so much. My husband and I enjoyed doing things together. The one thing that bothers me is when the wives complain about little annoying things their husband does . I just want to say be grateful you still have him . I have learned that we should never take anything for granted . Enjoy every second with loved one and friends because one day you might not have them.
Susan, why are you still knocking yourself down. You're suppose to be too intelligent for that. I always stop watching when this is the sort of subject. Depressing.
You refer to your husband as “ your knight in shining armor”. That was lovely for you. You had a marriage experience that many women have not, and you cannot comprehend it. Those women who are expressing what you see as minor complaints are probably not feeling blessed in the same way you did. Everyone is so different. Their expectations come with such variations it’s like trying to see an individual raindrop falling from the sky.
My Aunt had a wonderful marriage. He died just b4 their 50th wedding anniversary. She lived an amazing life with him and continued on without him but she missed him so much. I called her every night for years and we laughed with tears of joy from her stories. I miss her a lot💕
I too was married 3 times way back in the 70s and 80s. 1st marriage lasted 8 miserable years. He was abusive. One week after i divorced him found out he had a gf and she was pregnant. I was left to raise 3 and 5 yr old sons alone while he started a new family. They are still together. I was fixed up with a handsome man who drank too much. After four years of dating on and off, i started dating a guy from work who proclaimed to be a Christian. We dated for a year. 2 months into the marriage he tells me he never loved me but he only married me to "get back" at his ex. Enter the former bf who said if he had straightened up i would have never married the prior husband. Again, two months in he came in drunk and physically assaulted me. I threw him out. I have been in relationships since but never knew a good man. Ever. I suppose it to be because i was adopted and my parents, especially my dad, never paid much attention to me and were emotionally distant, at times verbally abusive. At 68 i am tired of doing all the work and struggle alone, but would never trust another man.
I think we keep on picking the same man but with different wrapping. If you sat down with a piece of paper and wrote down all the qualities of each one you will be surprised how much they are the same , just one small thread. My first husband was a drinker so I wanted some one who came home each night without going to the pub first. So that’s what I got, but still this relationship isn’t ideal. The common thread , they both don’t like to spend time with me only someone to cook,clean, have sex. No conversation , fun nothing. Look for someone totally different but also with your must have qualities. I feel more lonely when my partners home than when I’m on my own. Let someone in your life to add to it not diminish it. You don’t have to be in each others pockets but it’s nice to be able to poke your hand in to keep warm and loved. X
I lost my father when I was 3 1/2. My mother was distant and hurtful. I had/have severe abandonment issues and have a very hard time excepting love and giving love. I hope it's not too late for me. 69 a widow from 2nd marriage, 2 daughters from 1st marriage. Lots of regrets that I did not do a lot of things right. I could use a group to relate to as lonely is a hard road.
Said before, I had a wonderful marriage for 52 years until he passed. Learned too late to prioritize myself sometimes. Pamper myself as I did him. No regrets just wistful thinking. You have found yourself. You are a great influencer. I look forward to seeing you and Desi every week
Yep I pampered him till he died. Never did I think of doing it to myself, or even realized that I so needed it. Now I am still searching for something. I don't know what yet or where to from here.
It’s been a year and 8 months…but who’s counting. I have redecorated every room in my house I have made beautiful walkways and rose gardens. I am a water colorist, quilter, cross stitcher. I grill and chill and I cook and entertain. I was going to move, but realized he will just move with me. I will always love him and I will always miss him, but I do enjoy my life. Find something you enjoy and go for it❤
I learnt a lot too late ! My greatest acomplishment in life was beeing a great mom i really enjoyed raising my children ,an loving an playing games ,and taking them places ,attending all school functions. I had to divorce my husband after thirty one years , his betrayal was a big shock .My baby sister. died suddenly it broke me ,it like she took a part of me with her. I just turned 70, and lately i kept falling a lot ,and found out yesterday i have cerebral fluid around my brain, and putting shunt may make ut worse . I am shocked i never drank or smoke ,walked 5 miles a day ,i dont know how to accept it ,but I so admire you ,and everyone out there that is making their life beautiful, and enjoying it . God bless all of you . Desi sing me a song i need it bsdly today .❤
No song frim Desi tonight. Maybe he is saving his voice for upcoming Beatle tribute. However, i heard a very beautiful song this week by a young American songwriter called Lauren Daigel. Song is called Be OKay. Maybe you could bring that up on YT. Wishing you all the best from Australia ❤
I'm learning so much as I go through dealing with terminal cancer. This week I thought very much about the Velveteen Rabbit and how I never imagined I'd be able to relate so much to feeling shabby, with loose joints and hair falling out as I do now. But, like the Velveteen Rabbit, I finally feel real. And while cancer is one of the worst things one can go through, it can also leave you vulnerable enough to let down those walls and perhaps for the first time in your life really let people in. I no longer have the sharp edges and I'm surely not easily broken. It's never too late to be brave and be real. Because being real to ourselves, to others and especially to God makes all the difference for a well-lived, authentic life. Thank you for being real with us as well!
You have learned the greatest lesson of all and shared it so beautifully and it hit my heart because your words are the most raw and true meaning to what life is really all about! I read it 4 times, very powerful, Thank You and may God keep you strong ! Sending you Love and Hugs sweet soul!
@faithandveggies What a beautiful comment. You may be learning one of life's best lessons. And what an example you are to all those in your circle. It must feel freeing to let go of pretense and personas most of us develop. Many of us feel inauthentic because we try to please others, or we try to impress. It's exhausting. Thanks for sharing these words of wisdom. May the Lord give you abundant strength and energy to handle your trial with confidence, knowing that you will see the goodness of God. What a blessing to know the Lord. My daughter lives in Heaven and that has changed my perspective about life on earth. We have things to learn here, responsibilities, and good times, but this world is not our Home. Unbelievable things lie ahead for those who love the Lord. Thank you for sharing!
The lesson I learned too late was to appreciate my hubby when I had him. I regret many things I have said to him or things I should have done for him. 💔 I will be forever regretful of that, but hope to treat myself and others better.❤
life is long, you're right, i divorced after 31 years because I just couldn't bear being lonely and neglected and ignored one year more. covid actually helped me finally face facts. for me, covid was a blessing. I realized I could die tomorrow OR I could live another 30 years. either way, I didn't want to waste one more day of my life with someone who didn't even talk with me. your story in the car ride was exactly what used to happen to me. now 4 years post divorce and Im happy and content and live a full beautiful life. the life I always thought I would have. It is joy, pure joy to love myself and my life and all Ive created for myself.
I loved my children and wanted a happy marriage with a husband who was my friend. It's clear he didn't want me as a friend. I never felt lonely as a mother, but as a wife, I never felt so lonely, not only because he wasn't there for me emotionally, but because I wasn't a friend for myself. Since my divorce I learned I did I had a wonderful friend in myself, that I was enough. I've never, ever been lonely since.
I can soooo relate,Susan! In the last several years I have realized how horribly hard I was on myself! I never thought I measured up! I married an abusive man(go figure) and stayed in that marriage for 30 yrs. Thank God at 48 yrs old I got out! I reconnected with my first love (I was 14 & he was 16)and married him at age 57. I’m now 70 and have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness. Our marriage is strong and I know how blessed I am!💜 Susan,you are more beautiful now than at 40! You seem to be aging backwards!💜
The life lesson I think I learned too late is that people are who they are. People do what they want and that is who they are. There's nothing anyone can do to change anyone. It's never about anyone but themselves that dictates who they are and what they do. If someone wants to cheat, they will cheat regardless of how perfect you are or how well you can monitor. People are who they are & we either accept them as that or we waste years trying to improve them while we destroy ourselves in the process. The end result is always that they are who they are regardless of who you are.
You are so right! They are who they are. I had one fella I dated (almost married) who told me I couldn't save him from jumping off a cliff if he wanted to. He was right. In the end we split up and it was the best thing for me. I was lucky he realized he couldn't give me what I wanted. I wasn't so lucky with my 3 husbands--they married me because of what they thought I could give them to fill their needs, but at my expense because it was never enough. Loved your last sentence!!
I typed and typed and who knows what I clicked here, but the darn thing vanished. So, starting over ... like we do when the plans we had for ourselves go an unexpected way. The loneliest time of my life was during my 11-year marriage. Single for 40 years now, I feel genuinely happy and content. Of course, having someone special would be the icing on the cake but I love cake either way. What have I learned too late? Plenty, but that could sound like regret. And, yes, I have some. No one gets to my age (70) without regrets. If I could say one thing that I learned way too late, it would be that ... I am enough. I'm curious and kind and open, and I love hard and I feel deep and I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
One important life lesson for me is that when you’re kind and helpful and understanding, your whole being is at peace. Of course it’s impossible to feel that way all the time, but it gets easier and easier to right the ship when that’s the goal.
Nothing is worse than being with someone frightened and alone.. look how far you have come.. God has a plan he cares for us... We are cherished and worthy...no matter our circumstances ❤
My biggest lesson in life is to stop hanging on so hard and long to things that no longer serve me. Men, jobs & other situations that suck the life right out of me. Life is too short. I had a co-worker pass away a few days ago who was just a few years younger than I am, just out of the blue and unexpected. I've already been thinking about how short life is and how I need to stop holding on to things that don't suit me anymore, and this job is one of them. His passing just put a fine point on my feeling that I need to figure something else out to support myself and not hang on to this job just because it's a "good job".
oh, my dear....it is NEVER too late to learn a lesson, it is just the right time! i believe in a cosmic world/universe, and i truly believe we learn the lesson when we are meant to. that old confucious saying (paraphrasing here) "when the student is ready, the teacher will present themselves." that doesn't mean you don't learn other lessons that you are meant to learn in its place for that time. hindsight is always 20/20...i believe we learn lessons as we our body, mind, and soul are prepared to take in that wisdom...not a minute sooner or later. i do believe what Is IMPERATIVE is to stay open to LIVING LIFE to the fullest, so as lessons come to us - we can see them and take them in. i absolutely love your positive, kind nature, it is so refreshing in today's world where gentleness and softness don't come around much...🥰🌻
I am still learning this (too late) not to let others define who I am. My identity is in Christ - I am His child. Thank you for being so open - you are a joy!
Hi dear, I relate to that, for about 50 years I went through life thinking that I was nothing much. Work and work and not amount to much. Now is to late, I am 82 am I don’t care. God bless you all.❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
Suggestion: It's listening to our self talk. Go out and do things for others and you'll feel good about yourself and realize your self worth. Baby steps.
I am 57 years old and I learn now that in my 20s 30s 40s and 50s I needed to be with a man to be complete wrong… I am recently divorced after 17 years in a relationship and this is the happiest moment in my entire life my freedom I am choosing to fall in love with myself. This is a choice that I’m making I don’t need a man to be complete and I’m learning that now..
Susan, so well said. I was 39 when my mom turned 70. I felt sad cause I didn't want my mom to get old . My father was not a good person and was happy he wasn't in my life any longer. Never wanted to loose my mom , we were tight. As for marriage, I remember sitting down with the minister before getting married talking with my future husband and I. My future husband told the minister "I don't have to worry she ( I ) does all the worrying for both of us." Boy did my future husband get a talking to.The minister sat up straight and said" isn't that a hard job for one person." I will never forget. My mom always said if you are not a team you are nothing. Talking about the wisdom I wish I had. I heard the words, just didn't get it. Thank you again for a wonderful video ! Wisdom ! We have it now!!! Learned along the way. We heard the words, just didn't sink in at the time . I think back and wished I had the wisdom I have now. Thank you Susan for another heart felt vidio.
Hello, Susan. I just love your video chats. The scenery, music, everything you share makes your videos so awesome. Desi is precious. I lost my sweet pup about 2 years ago ~ still hurts. I relate to the things you share. I think we girlies are more alike than we are not. The older I get the more I depend on my faith in God ~ he is always my comfort and peace. I'm going through some hard things and if it were not for God, I can't imagine how I would get through the struggles. He helps us make our way through our life. On our own we don't have much strength but, God... he is my strength always. Like you said, we are not what hurt us. We can't let the hurts define us. Thank you for talking about things our age group can really relate to. We do need other women to share with.
From one artist/drifter to another- it's because I didn't fit in, that today when all the good girls are so desperately struggling with aging and regret that I'm on more solid ground. I still don't fit in because my regrets are few - I have lived and risked. I have grieved, laughed , celebrated, been inappropriate, struggled and loved so deeplly.Those qualities of youth that kept me from fitting in are the qualities that have my dukes up now and head back with laughter. It's why you shine as a beacon for the rest of us to follow
You are going to look smashing in those shoes and dresses. I learned too late to appreciate my husband, because I thought we would Grow old together, and we would enjoy the retirement years, but he passed Away some years ago, so I learned to be content with my own company ❤
I stayed with an emotional abusive husband because I learned too late that I am smart and good enough to make it on my own and that I deserved to be happy. Thank you Susan, can't wait for the Paul McCartney tribute :)
Lesson that I learned too late...to not be so judgemental of how others choose to live their lives. I don't walk in their shoes. I keep my judgment to myself most of the time, but even that kind of judgemental attitude hurts me. I wish I would have realized this years ago.
Heavy lessons tonight Sue...... Yes a bad or empty marriage is worse than no marriage ... And no marriage does not mean lonely ....its a choice...!!!.... Lonley is you Not content or happy with yourself ... Im 75 been divorced for 35 years...my choice... I raised my 2 children and Loved it...a very attractive woman, but I chose to raise my children on my own.... I've always been strong and I've always been confident maybe that comes from my parents.... But my choices were my choices and I have no regrets... I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment in a senior community and I love it... Have several friends keep myself active and I am very happy.. i do like men but don't need don't want a marriage....im very content and very happy with my life
Learn to love yourself ( still can’t love myself) and never rely on anyone to make you happy especially a man. Depression is so real and so very hard to get through 💔
I think learning things too late is just a part of life and growing. I think men also feel the same way about women. We need to realize we're all responsible for our own happiness. Living with anyone is hard. Communication and kindness are key. I also think we're all so busy taking care of our children and families that we never even think to plan for the third stage of life. Social media and the lack of the family unit has a lot to do with our loneliness. We need to reach out to one another. That's why this podcast is so popular and meaningful. We're all in this together and we humans need one another. Reach out and help another. ❤
One life lesson that I have tries to pass on to my children and my grandchildren, that I feel I realized was important almost too late… Hang on to your true friends in Life. Don’t let life get in the way. There may not be many, because quality is better than quantity but, Friendship, through out your life is so important. I realized that in my 50’s.
I lived in the shadow of my older sister. I had no support to be me. Even now it's a struggle despite that I've pulled ahead of my sister in some areas. I know, it hurts remembering the negative. After my mother died recently I was at the river crying as I scattered her ashes but the sadness was about the hurtful things she said right up into her nineties.
I am so sorry to read your comment. That is just awful. I hope you find happiness in the life without your mother. Words can really hurt so much. I send you positive vibes and so much joy in your future.
The hurtful things were about HER thoughts and feelings, projected outward. You were just the recipient; and if you were not there, someone else would have been the recipient. One of my work colleagues taught me, "Don't hold on to other peoples' garbage."
A life lesson is to learn to observe a person who is trying to hurt you with their words- just observe them without reacting - practice not absorbing their negativity Because it's not you. Be grateful that you don't behave so negatively.
Hi Susan & Desi!! What a great video, so full of wisdom! I get to be 75 years old in two weeks - just 3 days after Paul’s birthday!! Holy Cow, we’re old people! My greatest life lesson to pass on is - never, ever lose your sense of humor. Life is really hard & sometimes messy but find something to smile about! It’s a challenge sometimes; but try to keep a happy heart - it does good like a medicine! (Prov 17:22) Love to you & Desi - can hardly wait to hear - Hey Jude!! (I’m Judy after all;) Love & Blessings to all our friends here too! Til next week 😘❤️🙏🏻
Lesson learned...Invest in yourself. You are who you will be with until the end...so give to yourself to be the person you want to be with. I will be 75 in mid July and it's a lesson I have learned to late.
Hi from Italy, Learned how to love and accept myself after 60... I spent a life time putting everything and everyone before myself and my own needs. Some how I survived! I said goodbye to a marriage at 56 that was bringing me down and broke my heart. I lived far from family, I was alone. Then 10 years later I lost the house and my beloved garden I had worked so hard for and which was everything to me. I found an apartment a year ago and moved in and the last year Ive been planning and watching my life unfold and dreams come true. I made a garden on my balcony and I love having tea there in the morning amidst my roses. I have my own UA-cam channel about my life in Italy! I live in a beautiful town and Im happy to spend my next 30 years here. Never let go of your dreams. Love to you and Desi
I consider myself a "Christian Realist". I don't suffer fools lightly any longer. I will speak up if I am wronged in daily life with strangers I know nothing about, ie if they are believers like myself. If one is kind I like them. If one is a bully, or arrogant, or just plain rude, as in workers/customer service, I will not hesitate to report to management.
Hi Susan! I'm 77 and have been married for 56 years. Some of my loneliest times have been when I wanted to have a conversation with my husband, but he wasn't in the mood to talk. Sometimes it is when we are riding in the car and I wish I could turn on the radio at least (he doesn't like the radio on in the car). But, he is a kind man and shows the love he has for me...we have been through a lot together because of his heart disease. Lesson learned late...focus on gratitude and what is good in my life instead of focusing on the negative things. It's hard to do, but when I accomplish it, I am a much happier person. Thanks for a beautiful video! George Harrison is my favorite! 😊❤
I’ve made many mistakes in my life and try to better every day. At 58 it’s hard to excuse myself for the stupid things I allowed. Learning though. Thank you for being here each week with such awesome talks and advice. Just helping us know it’ll be ok and that we can forgive ourselves and live better lives. You are amazing!
I think we “learn” our lessons when we are ready to receive them. It’s the experiences we have that prepare the soil for the realization or revelation to take hold. It’s all in the timing ❤
I have learned that I have been so reckless most of my life. Now watch my words and to be more discerning with my acquaintances and my decisions. And I have learned the importance of cherishing every day.❤
One lesson that I learned is that if you can drive and have a reliable car, go visit in person the people that you love. I had the chance to do a lot of that recently for my brother after a terminal cancer diagnosis but wish I had done a lot more if it before he was sick. The heck with the traffic. Just go.
Susan - thank you so much for the beautiful message in your video! It resonated deeply with me. After 31 years of marriage to a selfish, alcoholic narcissist - I finally had enough and took back my life! I held off divorcing him for all those years because I saw friends and family having good marriages and I wanted to be like them. You are so right - you have to follow your own path in life! Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing this! You are beautiful inside and out! P.s. Hi to Desi! 🐾
My first husband beat me up while I was pregnant. Fortunately, I escaped and had my daughter. It was the worst marriage in the world. My second husband was a decent man. He adopted my daughter. He was a good father. But he was mentally ill, he smoked. I developed severe Asthma. I had to divorce him, I didn't want to, but it saved my life. My boyfriend of 12 years was my true love, but he hurt me with on line cheating. He became a hoarder. I had to leave him. But I still love him and we have a post relationship. Yet I will never live with him again. I have my own place now. I am glad I had my daughter, I don't regret it. I was a good social worker when I could work. I like my writing. I traveled a lot. Everything wasn't bad, it wasn't always good either. It was both. But I lived it.
What other people think of me is none of my business…I no longer have the energy to worry about what other people think of me…I have had quite a journey, but all the hard times have made me very empathetic to so many things that others have gone through or are going through.
Susan, We as women grow up , regardless if we had positive role models in our lives. We learn to forgive our parents, accept them good & bad and grow into adults. Learn the life lessons ourselves and not to repeat it when the all to familiar circumstances rear their ugly head. We need to be proud of ourselves to learn our life lessons to become smarter and wiser in our relationships with friends, husbands and lovers. It is never too late to learn! Please ladies, don’t beat yourself up for finally learning a lesson, that you have stumbled through out your life, be proud of yourself! We are strong, smart and survivors and have learned to laugh at ourselves and look forward to new adventures. You are all Hero’s in my Book! Be proud to strut yourself, no looking back, keep your eyes looking forward! ❤️👏❤️
After two marriages with husbands that started out wonderful, and later turning abusive, revealing their true identities, my lesson learned later in my years is that living alone is not as bad as society would make it out to be. I still work full-time, can support myself comfortably, and enjoy hobbies that keep me active and fulfilled. Sometimes I wonder if life could be more fulfilling with a partner. But, as soon as those thoughts start rolling around in my head, I remind myself that life is good…if it happens organically, then I will openly explore the possibility, cautiously, but will most likely never enter marriage again.
I’ve learned in my 60+ years is that the unknown is empowering and when we can be the most creative. When we find what we are made of and what we are capable of. Joy and contentment is found within ourselves❤ as we sow so shall we reap.
This is *crazy* ... I was thinking how it feels like you're speaking directly to us when you look into the camera.. then you said something about it. And I was wondering how Hal is doing and was going to ask.. then you mentioned him. Whoa! So many of us feel like you're our best friend, sweet Susan. Thank you for openly sharing your life, wisdom, and kindness!!! 💗🌷 I can't wait to hear Desi sing, "Hey Jude" when Hal visits for your Beatles' concert! 🐶🎤
Your words mean so much to me and I'm 48, I apply wise words to my life all of the time, God bless you and Desie and may others find Peace within themselves and enjoy this long challenging life.❤
Looking forward to your visit with Hal, what fun! When my Mother was going through Hospice end of life care she kept telling me to always remember the good things about us... It's been 6 years since her death, i still think of her wanting to erase those hard times for me, she was always my greatest supporter, I miss her always being there for me.
I think I still try to morph into other peoples lives a bit. I find myself trying to do the same things other women do and maybe I can be more like they are. I enjoyed this so much. Take care and have a good week. ♥️♥️♥️
I see you as someone I so admire and I would morph into your life if i could! At this age I find myself very happy though but when I was younger I had that " grass is always greener" attitude. I still long for perhaps a partner...youa nd Doug are like magic!!! Love oyu! Sues & Dez
I think it’s good to copy paste all things that we find positive, admirable, and fun that others are doing. It teaches us to climb out of our box, and helps us learn new things about ourselves and fine tune and polish the unique souls we are. How could that not be fun!!:) We can take with us what we like and leave the rest that’s not for us. 🩵
After reading all these comments, I can see that lots of people have had a abusive marriages/ relationships and stayed in them for years, just like I did. I am so happy that Susan as brought us all together. Susan, I find your words of wisdom so comforting, thank you for everything you share with us. I can't wait to see you and Hal together again, it is going to be a blast..love & best wishes to all ❤❤❤
I’m crying just hearing everything you’re saying Susan just how you could be with someone and you feel so lonely I been with my husband for 27 years. We’ve been arguing so much really bad. He’s a great guy. He just goes to work comes home., takes good care of us financially, but he’s dismissive of my feelings, just watches. TV doesn’t wanna do anything when I tell him somethings bothering me. It’s like one ear & out the other. The bottom line is I’m so tired of arguing that at the point I told him today I need to be by myself. I need to find my own place, I need to be at peace no arguing I wanna do better for myself. Take better care of myself. I work so much. That’s all I do is work. Then Come home cook & clean it’s a cycle that never ends.. I feel bad about myself. I feel so deeply insecure I hate looking at myself , I used to be so beautiful . Now I look scary. I don’t like the way I look or the way I feel. Besides it’s not fare to my husband that I’m always yelling at him and it’s not fair to me either because we’re always yelling at each other every day all day , We’re not good for each other right now. I envy. How at peace your life is. You’re so beautiful. I love how you take so good care of yourself. Your home is so cozy and beautiful. You have no one to argue with you & you don’t have to cook or clean after you can treat yourself buy yourself whatever you want. Whatever you want you don’t have to worry about feeding someone else. Or cleaning up after someone else’s mess. I live with my husband and our two sons who are in their 20s too it’s just to much for me taking care of all them & working around 50 to 58 hours a week, I need to take care of me now. I just wanna live my life like you & have a beautiful home., A vehicle of my own to get around. Instead of my husband or my son’s driving me everywhere, I just want peace & serenity in my life!! I want to fix my apartment up nice or live in my motorhome until I buy a house next year. I want to buy myself a car & be independent instead of my husband driving me around, I wanna look forward to going to work and being able to spend my money the way I want to, I don’t drink I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I don’t even have friends. I mean, I have friends that grow up with. I have not spent actual time with a friend and probably 19 years. my life has always involved my husband, kids and grandkids that’s it and Work. I Look at you and I watch all your videos and I want to be just like you!!! I’ve been feeling this way for a few years now I just wanna live in peace. Take care of myself & go get my nails done without my husband complaining that I buy too much skin care or I just bought make up why am I buying more I always have him as women you know we love our beauty product, He just complains about everything I buy complain about me getting my hair done or nails done and I never do that but those little things things I’d like to do for myself he’ll complain , the only enjoyment I have is when I’m treating myself to something or when I see my grandkids, , I want to get out of work come home make a cup of coffee or tea. Sit by my electric fireplace in MY COZY BEAUTIFUL HOME like you Susan. there’s no greater feelings than being independent being able to take care of yourself not having to rely on anyone and to do everything at your own pace and if you want to buy something to make you feel good about yourself you can do it. Your able to do what you want when you want I told my husband I don’t care about money. I don’t care about anything but just being at peace time alone. I just wanna take care of myself. I really need that long time to do me now. I don’t think you understand how much you inspire or help us out. I know being single could be lonely too, but even being married as you know, you could still be lonely. I’d rather be alone than argue every day with my husband besides, I know I’ll take better care of myself, I’ll have more time for myself rather than just always use my time to take care of my husband and my grown boys! Susan, I feel like a robot. All I do is work come home cook and clean. I pay all my bills. I could see my husband complaining if I’m spending lots of money all the time or I’m neglecting our bills. I don’t do any of that I have good credit, I always put my priorities first, but I feel like a robot all my kids are all grown up and I’m still not able to live for me now but that’s my fault for along with it I’m going to take care of me now!! they’re all grown they could take care of themselves.
I really enjoy your videos. You’re at a similar stage in life that I am. I had a miserable childhood because my mother was (and still is at age 94) a Malignant Narcissist. My father and both grandfathers were alcoholics also. I was to be seen and not heard, and I was told in great detail at the age of 6 that I “tore my mother up” during my birth. My dad threatened to leave a few times a week. Anyway, with a lot of distance and a lot of therapy and antidepressants. I learned how to live my own life not as a shadow under their feet. I divorced my husband of 42 years because I realized (too late?) that he, too, was a narcissist. I have never been happier living my life my way and free of others sucking the life out of me. I live for me now. P.S.- Desi’s underbite is adorable. Reminds me of a fox terrier I had named “ FRED” ! Be well.
I SO ENJOY YOUR VIDEOS. AT 72, I'M APPRECIATING EVERY SINGLE DAY NOW. AS THEY SAY..TAKE THE TIME TO SMELL THE ROSES. SOME LIFE LESSONS I'VE LEARNED ARE; REVENGE IS NEVER SWEET, WHEN YOU FORGIVE SOMEONE, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM, NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO COMPROMISE YOUR OWN VALUES, OR ACCEPT ABUSE AS YOUR FAULT. TRULY, WHAT YOU DO UNTO OTHERS, WILL BE DONE TO YOU...GOOD OR BAD..APPRECIATE WHERE YOU ARE IN THIS TIME, LOVE THOSE WHO LOVE YOU BACK, AND LEARN TO LET GO OF THOSE WHO DON'T....
Here is the lesson I learned too late -Never try to be someone that you think everybody would like. Just be yourself and if somebody does not like you, so be it!
Susan, I really like your take on life….its not short but long, if we are among the fortunate ones. My husband and I are celebrating our 52 anniversary in a week…..and known each other almost 60 years. True high school sweethearts. So I have been so blessed to take this journey with my best friend and love. We have lost many whose lives were too short, so, I am thankful for every additional candle on the cake . As to lessons, one of the biggest for me, personally, is all of the hours I wasted worrying about what others would think….not about my character, or my quality as a human……but truly wasted time on how they would see my weight, my clothes, my hair…etc. Took me decades to realize that they are concerned about the same for themselves and do not give a rip about those things in others. lol…would have loved that wisdom in my 30s -50! I adore your content, your warmth , your openness and of course Desi❤ Have a beautiful week.
I will be 73 on June 11th. I started watercolor painting this last year and it has been a good therapy for me.Never thought I would do that. Even though I am now in heart failure and chronic pain, I am trying hard to do things and learn things. No, we are not too old. And please...call me senior, but not elderly!!!!! Haha. Mary Ann Young, Boise, ID
At 66. I have crafted a life in which I am happy while alone and also, I am able to meet with people if I feel like it. (I am a guy, BTW.) I have learned to not hate myself for having different likes from others (For example, I get bored at the beach.) I used to try to make myself like it! I finally accept myself for me! I also refuse to hang out with "mean" people.
Hi Susan. I love your blouse today. I think my biggest life lesson is I learned just how much God loves me & how He cares about the smallest details of my life. Jeremiah 29:11 states He has a plan for each of our lives. However, many of us don't follow God's instruction book & think we can do it better ourselves. Without following God's plan, we sure make a mess of things. I know I did. Once I reconnected to Him, He forgave me & got me back on track. Don't get me wrong, I still mess up at times, but my life is peaceful, content & not really lonely. I've learned to be content in my circumstances & know God is in control. Our world is suffering today because we turned our back on our creator. We were meant to live in this earthly paradise He created for us, to walk & talk with Him, until we let sin enter. I don't mean to preach, but He is the answer you may be looking for. We have a God shaped hole in our hearts, only He can fill. I pray for all of you who don't know that perfect love relationship ❤🙏🙏
Hi Carol. I experienced what you have. Yet talking about God as “ he “ and living organized religions teachings and their rituals is the biggest mistake everyone of us make when caught in this mindset. It took me 50 years to understand the truth of that system. Hope you do as well. I don’t want to be blunt about it for when I am, it ruffles some low frequency energy beings feathers. Learn about duality. How it works everywhere on our planet and get into true spirituality of unconditional LOVE is where it’s at.
Auntie Susan thank you for your wonderful issues you discussing with us and precious advices. Yes unfortunately there are so many things we learn later in life may due to Inattention , negligence self or circumstances such as working job we enjoy . Don’t work for sake of money . Never stop learning. Be productive outside work. Maintaining healthy life balance. There are also useful life skills such as close reading , be attentive, be kind to ourselves and people around us , be creative , first of all have strong faith of god .
I have learned so late in life that no one can make me happy!! Being married and still feeling lonely is the worse. Now I know the love of my God is forever and always. He will never leave or forsake us.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️
Watching your videos is like a weekly therapy session for me.❤ It took me 65 years before I realized how happy I could be just doing my own thing. Just being ME. There is a pricetag for any lifestyle, so mine comes with having to support myself. That can be stressful, but I enjoy my part time job and I touch other peoples lives in a positive way thru my work in the funeral industry. My biggest fear is dying before all my little projects at home are not finished. Not enough hours in the day to hold my enthusiasm for life. It really is an attitude you cultivate. And it can be lonely if you go down that dark path of comparing your life to others' perceived happier lives. Ive been married twice, was happy a few years each, but most of those other married years were miserable for me. I validated my life thru the public eye. It never works. Learn to live happy for YOURSELF and stop worrying about what other people do. As I said earlier, there is a pricetag for any lifestyle.
I have lived in a cocoon all my life. My fears of something bad happening have kept me homebound. I have always use my fear of airplanes for not flying, not planning trips. My daughter has taught me so much about living the abundant life. I did it think i deserved it. She moved to Seattle, WA, today and my grief overwhelms me. I tell her I will never get on an airplane to go see her. Well, I am changing my mindset about my “safe’ living, and I will look forward to going out to taking a cross country trip. I am tired of being scared and living scare. This new mentality is going to open doors for me and I just might become someone I don’t even recognize at the end of the year.
Good on you. Best of luck.
♥Good for you! ♥ (P.S. Train travel is fun. And you can see some beautiful country from a train on your way to Seattle's train station!)
I am so excited for you!!! I could relate to your feelings so much! Planes are safe and I am ready to get on that plane and meet my sister...you are so brave and strong!! Much love to you!!! Xo Susan & Desi
I wish I had your courage.
I am so proud of you!
My son moved very far away from me, and I miss him terribly but, like you, I am afraid of flying. I decided I love my son more than I fear the plane ride, so I bought a nonrefundable (meaning, I can't back out!) ticket and will go visit him next month! I admit, I spoke to my doctor and she prescribed a mild anti-anxiety medication for the flights. While I wait for the time to arrive, I have been researching places to go once I'm there and picking up travel sizes of things I'll need. I'm actually starting to feel excited about it and can't wait to see my son!
I wish you strength and courage to overcome obstacles!
I left an divorced my husband after 22 years. He drank up every dime and went out with his drinking buddies every week by himself . I cut coupons and saved 20 a week. I had one shirt and one pair of shorts. I clothed and fed the kids. I was starving. Eac h week the twenty disappeared from my wallet. The day he said I was too stupid to spend money. I left him and went to my mom. He took my car keys wiped out the bank account and demanded I return. I never did. At my mothers house I was able to put on fifty pounds and get a job and pay for a divorce
My heart breaks for this lady.❤
❤️🙏
I am 70 and have been divorced since 1997. Had two children and raised them alone. Never remarried so I must have learned the lesson the first time. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't love or appreciate you. That makes you feel lonely. It is a choice on how you want to live I guess.
Same 🎉🎉🎉
I have been single my entire life and am happy with it. I have learned that I am more than enough. We must thrive and find joy if we can. Being true to our authenticity brings our greatest happiness.
@@MadelineMaxwell-m5z you love yourself more 🙏🏻✝️👍😻☝️
@@MadelineMaxwell-m5z So very true.
Been divorced since ‘85. Tried to love him again and was used, hurt and begged - moved on, put myself through UCLA undergrad w/2 children, took care of parents separately across the country. Went back to my
1st love Theatre - just could not support us - work as a contractor - safe - children grown with their own families. Still single, but stronger. No fighting, arguing. Look forward to finding someone, but will never
Fight again.
One of my lessons learned “ too late” is I didn’t adhere to my list of what I wanted in a husband.
I was raised in church so I wanted a man that attended church … at 19 I dated and married a man whose family didn’t attend church. I was stupid in thinking he would go to church once we married.
He was opposite everything on “ My Husband List”… he smoked, was divorced, had children that he didn’t pay the required child support, chased other women, and many other things.
I regret not praying and waiting on God to send me the husband He had for me.
As I’m told by the husband’s family I have two beautiful daughters from him. His family continues to include me in their lives.
About age 30 I started a transformation to become more like the person I was before I met my husband.
We divorced after 20 years. I was confident I could support myself and the younger daughter. I’m 71, financially secure and happy with myself. I have never been one to be bored… that word wasn’t allowed in my parents household. I now focus on helping others and following Jesus Christ as He leads me.
There are lots of men that attend church who are rotten men. Just because a man attends church doesn’t make him a “good man”. You have to look way deeper than that!
I too love Jesus, ♥️…and am learning to live without regrets…
I stayed in an abusive second marriage for 18 yrs because I didn’t want to fail at marriage and be divorced a second time. I kept thinking if I did everything right and perfect he would eventually see value in me. Wrong. I finally realized nothing I did would ever make him be any other way than his abusive, adulterous, miserable self. He didn’t see my value -first, because he was incapable, but most important, because I didn’t see my value. I realized I was worthy of so much more (even if I ended up alone) and divorced him in 2014. He immediately moved in with someone else and married them. Never settle and never sacrifice your self worth to please another❤️
Amen
A doctor once told me to never settle. I never forgot that. After my divorce I had a couple good relationships but deep down I knew that I was better off single. I still feel that way:). The one thing I learned almost too late is God has a plan for us. I’m happy and content and very grateful for the blessings I have. When I was young I would say I took too much for granted.
@@juliefizpatrick513 Very nice comment, happy to see you found the truth and the way to live a fullfilling life now.
When young one naturally makes mistakes and often might take things for granted, important is, that one realizes this mistake and corrects it, like you did.
@@fredajordan5704 Thank you🤗
I can relate to your story. Sending you love and please be Happy❤. You are a free soul now❤❤.
I lost my two older siblings at 54 each. Both 4 years apart and suddenly. Now that my parents are gone, I’m an orphan. The lesson is, don’t worry about tomorrow, live today. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Be thankful for everyday.
Sending you love ❤ I’m in a similar position and life has been a hard lesson but I really love your positivity 💐
You look beautiful tonight. Your blouse sings spring! Lesson learnt - not too late, but almost: NEVER relay on a man to make you happy.
Amen
Yes, but we were never taught that. Just like Dorothy....we had to learn it for ourselves.
I can rely on my Heavenly Father 🙏
One personal rule I developed for myself - and maybe not too late, but late:
“Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.”
I had a husband who abused me mentally. He knew exactly what buttons to push to make me feel inferior. Once we were out for breakfast and he had his nose in a newspaper. After we ordered I started to chat to him about the restaurant and he slammed the paper down on the table and yelled “can’t you see I’m reading??” I was mortified and sat sipping my coffee wanting to get up and run. We did everything to his code. One night I suggested we check out a new coffee shop that just opened a few blocks away. Nope not interested. Out of sheer boredom I suggested we go to a pub and he was out of his chair like a shot. We always had to sit at the bar and he would start chatting to another guy about sports and after two hours of being ignored I got up and went home. He wasn’t very nice to his mother either and always talked down to her. I finally realized he was an alcoholic and I should have done it right then but It took me 12 years to walk out. I lost the best prime years of my life to that abuse. It took me forever to detox from him. Even though I was free I still felt guilty spending money because he had brain washed me so much about wasting money. I forgot who I was and felt like a misfit in my freedom. I had to build my self esteem from scratch. I’m 66 and I still beat myself up at times but I’ve come a long way - Worked 30 years and earned a pension. Do you ever really heal? I guess but the scars are still visible. I think sometimes mental abuse is just as bad as physical. I’ve been 30 years divorced now and I do try to wish him well as he was obviously hurting from something to make him drink. So yeah marriage was lonely for me and I never remarried. What’s that old saying- once bitten twice shy.
Mental and emotional abuse are as destructive as physical or verbal abuse, possibly more so. Cheers to you for getting out of that relationship and living a better life!!
I was in a 40 year marriage of verbal abuse, l couldn’t leave because we had five children and l was a SAHM. I couldn’t support them. Because l married so young l never realized how bad it was until the Lord took him and l was free.But it’s been ten years and l still suffer from the emotional trauma he inflicted on me.l will never trust another man because you see he treated me like a queen for a year before we married, but then yelled at me on our honeymoon and continued to yell for 40 years.
I think we heal when our minds finally say enough. We need to make a decision that we are finished with it.
I believe that we heal when we say we are finished.
Forgive, forgive forgive, it’s the golden rule. It will set you free. I feel your pain 😢I understand.
I can’t do it on my own so I pray for this grace. I hope you find and I hope you find peace. Look forward 😉
Lessons learned late are better than lessons never learned at all. Just be greatfull for them.
Absolutely, 100%. I was just going to post this!! Thank you for saying.
My Late God Mom had a Attitude of Gratitude! She would say; Too Soon Old
Too late Smart:)
This is a very important message. I also learned the lessons and saw the truth of situations too late in life to change things for the better. But now I know better I will do better..
That old saying .. "If I knew then what I know now".. !!
So true! It’s never to9 late to change. God bless you.
I ran across this today and wanted to share this. ❤
"You’re going to realize it one day - that happiness was never about your job, or your degree, or being in a relationship. Happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all of those who came before you, it was never about being like the others. One day, you’re going to see it - that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chose to go. Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself, it was always about embracing the person you were becoming. One day, you will understand. That happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that happiness was never in the hands of other people. It was always about you. It was always about you."
Bianca Sparacino
❤
Beautiful
Wonderful. Thank you.
Beautiful video! I am in my 60's and was divorced about 30 years ago after 11 years of marriage. My marriage was the darkest, most painful time in my life. One thing I learned is that I function better as a single woman. I will not marry again. Your thoughts on empathy reminded me of this: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15
Thank you so much!!! Happy weekend! Much Love, Susan & Desi
Why are so many marriages so bad, yet women keep on believing that its the only road to happiness???
@@luciagonzalez4899 good question
What I learned too late:
Don’t anticipate retirement and travel, camping and gardening;
Don’t wait for your happiness to explode after you lose those damn 10 stubborn pounds;
Don’t wait to giggle until no one is around;
Don’t overspend but don’t over save; don’t wait to be creative after you have more time; don’t wait to share your feelings and suddenly it’s too late.
Do live! Do laugh! Do love!
💕 🙏✝️🇺🇸🦋🐾
I love your thoughts here!
I agree 100% with you Cheryl. Things have a way of not going as you thought they would.
Excellently stated!😊💕
In my younger years, I worked so hard to fit in with my friends that I never got to just be me...warts and all. At 72 I finally am myself with everyone. If they don't want to be around me, I'm no longer wounded by that. I realized they just have different paths than me and that's okay.😊
'No longer being wounded by that' is a very powerful and wise thing to say. It isn't easy to do either. It is a good way to look at it. Thanks for your comment it made me think.
@@dorisdaylight8415 Wow, I agree whole heartedly!
Thank you! You have given me the right words to express my truth. I too have chosen to not be wounded!
It's very freeing and a place of peace.
It’s a hard lesson that we cannot be liked by everyone and we don’t like everyone either!
I guess a life lesson that I am still struggling with is understanding that I am not responsible for everyone's happiness. I have lived my whole life trying to make sure everyone is happy that I lost myself somewhere along the way. I'm now 62 years old and still struggling with this and it has left me feeling drained. I love your videos. I always feel inspired after watching them.❤
Yep you are trying to be responsible and make everyone else happy but you forgot finding your own. I can soooo relate. I hope you find your happiness just as I am searching for mine.
@dorisdaylight8415 Thank you! I do hope you find happiness also!
OMG, ME TOO!
Me too, ❤
Me Three !!
I'm an introvert, I married an extrovert...with a drinking problem and LOTS of buddies. Why did I put up with it for too long. Well, I didn't know about a narc's 'love bomb' technique. Every time I left he would love bomb me...I believed him. I didn't know a narc CAN'T be alone, and sees others as supply for their own needs and nothing else. My marriage years were the loneliest of my 69 years. I LOVE being single, having my own dramafree place. I wish all teens would be educated about narcs/sociopaths/phychopaths it is a spectrum, they are remorseless, they will use you up-if allowed to.
Same scenario for me...on the first night of our honeymoon, he stayed in the Casino all night. We fought on our honeymoon....yep, an alcoholic and big time gambler! Expensive lesson. Didn't learn about narcissism until after my divorce....it should be taught in school early on.
@@marygeraghty5413 I'm so glad you DID get out to stay. I wish you many fulfilling years ahead.
Sometimes we lose people, not to death but to mistakes we make. We look at other people's lives and wish we had their's thinking it's a better life. Too soon we learn that the grass isn't always greener. We should definitely be grateful for what we have.
I am so very sorry to all of you who have suffered abuse at the hands of your partner. My sister was the recipient of such abuse. Unfortunately, at 30 years old, he finally succeeded in ending her life. If you can leave safely, please do! They will not stop until they have no one to suffer their wrath! And for the ones who have gotten away, that's wonderful!! Please do not go back!! My sister did, several times😢 My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you❤
1) being a people pleaser only hurts me.
2) it’s okay to say, No.
3) it’s okay to dream.
4) no one is perfect, nor is their life.
5) forgiveness sets yourself free
6) my faith is not negotiable
7) hurting people hurt people
8) it’s okay to rest
9) set boundaries
@leaguiles6482 Can you please explain #1 for me, I'm missing something or I'm reading it wrong...Did you mean to say people "Pleaser"? Thank you...Nina
@@ninam8060 thanks for noticing that. It’s fixed
Lesson learned late: no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Another lesson: people sometimes have issues that are not related to us. Death and life are in the power of the tongue
Soo true
We aren't taught how to set boundaries and stand up for ourselves.
Nor are men taught how to respect boundaries.
You sure said that right
@@sherylchapman4168 You hit the nail right on the head. Why do they feel we are beneath them and they can do whatever they want to keep us there.
I think maybe we're the ones who think this of ourselves. Men are here to be partners not make us happy. We're all responsible for our own happiness.
@@Wendy1973-wl5lr this is not about happiness, it’s about respect.
Omg… after reading some of the comments below, I can’t even imagine ever there were so many miserable, wicked men out there in the world. After 13 years with the man of my dreams… my best friend, Totally kind, generous and loving, I lost him way too early at 54 cancer. We were planning so many wonderful things in an early retirement, and I still think of him, miss him every single day. Lesson learned is never ever take for granted those you love or who love you. Keep telling them every day how much you love and appreciate them… even for the little things, like holding your hand every time you walk together or pulling out a chair when you’re ready to sit down. Always live feeling blessed and it does come back to you!
Susan I was so blessed to have married my knight in shining armor. I just lost him to cancer to early in life. When I watch videos and see husbands and wives together I miss that so much. My husband and I enjoyed doing things together. The one thing that bothers me is when the wives complain about little annoying things their husband does . I just want to say be grateful you still have him . I have learned that we should never take anything for granted . Enjoy every second with loved one and friends because one day you might not have them.
Susan, why are you still knocking yourself down. You're suppose to be too intelligent for that. I always stop watching when this is the sort of subject. Depressing.
You refer to your husband as “ your knight in shining armor”. That was lovely for you. You had a marriage experience that many women have not, and you cannot comprehend it. Those women who are expressing what you see as minor complaints are probably not feeling blessed in the same way you did. Everyone is so different. Their expectations come with such variations it’s like trying to see an individual raindrop falling from the sky.
My husband just passed away from Parkinson’s. He was my knight in shining armor. I miss him every day.
My Aunt had a wonderful marriage. He died just b4 their 50th wedding anniversary. She lived an amazing life with him and continued on without him but she missed him so much. I called her every night for years and we laughed with tears of joy from her stories. I miss her a lot💕
@@maryannhartzell2958 so sorry for your loss.
I too was married 3 times way back in the 70s and 80s. 1st marriage lasted 8 miserable years. He was abusive. One week after i divorced him found out he had a gf and she was pregnant. I was left to raise 3 and 5 yr old sons alone while he started a new family. They are still together. I was fixed up with a handsome man who drank too much. After four years of dating on and off, i started dating a guy from work who proclaimed to be a Christian. We dated for a year. 2 months into the marriage he tells me he never loved me but he only married me to "get back" at his ex. Enter the former bf who said if he had straightened up i would have never married the prior husband. Again, two months in he came in drunk and physically assaulted me. I threw him out. I have been in relationships since but never knew a good man. Ever. I suppose it to be because i was adopted and my parents, especially my dad, never paid much attention to me and were emotionally distant, at times verbally abusive. At 68 i am tired of doing all the work and struggle alone, but would never trust another man.
I can understand your feelings...you have been through so much!
I think we keep on picking the same man but with different wrapping. If you sat down with a piece of paper and wrote down all the qualities of each one you will be surprised how much they are the same , just one small thread. My first husband was a drinker so I wanted some one who came home each night without going to the pub first. So that’s what I got, but still this relationship isn’t ideal. The common thread , they both don’t like to spend time with me only someone to cook,clean, have sex. No conversation , fun nothing. Look for someone totally different but also with your must have qualities. I feel more lonely when my partners home than when I’m on my own. Let someone in your life to add to it not diminish it. You don’t have to be in each others pockets but it’s nice to be able to poke your hand in to keep warm and loved. X
I lost my father when I was 3 1/2. My mother was distant and hurtful. I had/have severe abandonment issues and have a very hard time excepting love and giving love. I hope it's not too late for me. 69 a widow from 2nd marriage, 2 daughters from 1st marriage. Lots of regrets that I did not do a lot of things right. I could use a group to relate to as lonely is a hard road.
Said before, I had a wonderful marriage for 52 years until he passed. Learned too late to prioritize myself sometimes. Pamper myself as I did him. No regrets just wistful thinking. You have found yourself. You are a great influencer. I look forward to seeing you and Desi every week
I have a feeling that you were a beautiful caretaker..
Yep I pampered him till he died. Never did I think of doing it to myself, or even realized that I so needed it. Now I am still searching for something. I don't know what yet or where to from here.
It’s been a year and 8 months…but who’s counting. I have redecorated every room in my house I have made beautiful walkways and rose gardens. I am a water colorist, quilter, cross stitcher. I grill and chill and I cook and entertain. I was going to move, but realized he will just move with me. I will always love him and I will always miss him, but I do enjoy my life. Find something you enjoy and go for it❤
@@dorisdaylight8415 Never stop searching. Find your goals and look towards them. I am 80 and still have goals.
Me too. But my husband still here 85.. Me 74. But let's promise each other to DO & BE new us.
From Australia with heartfelt love x💋💋🇦🇺
I learnt a lot too late ! My greatest acomplishment in life was beeing a great mom i really enjoyed raising my children ,an loving an playing games ,and taking them places ,attending all school functions. I had to divorce my husband after thirty one years , his betrayal was a big shock .My baby sister. died suddenly it broke me ,it like she took a part of me with her. I just turned 70, and lately i kept falling a lot ,and found out yesterday i have cerebral fluid around my brain, and putting shunt may make ut worse . I am shocked i never drank or smoke ,walked 5 miles a day ,i dont know how to accept it ,but I so admire you ,and everyone out there that is making their life beautiful, and enjoying it . God bless all of you . Desi sing me a song i need it bsdly today .❤
Sending you love, hugs and blessings. I so wish you well.
I’m sending love & healing vibes your way. 💗💗💗
I'm so sorry for your troubles. I hope you feel better soon. God bless you
No song frim Desi tonight. Maybe he is saving his voice for upcoming Beatle tribute. However, i heard a very beautiful song this week by a young American songwriter called Lauren Daigel. Song is called Be OKay. Maybe you could bring that up on YT.
Wishing you all the best from Australia ❤
I prayed for you.
I'm learning so much as I go through dealing with terminal cancer. This week I thought very much about the Velveteen Rabbit and how I never imagined I'd be able to relate so much to feeling shabby, with loose joints and hair falling out as I do now. But, like the Velveteen Rabbit, I finally feel real. And while cancer is one of the worst things one can go through, it can also leave you vulnerable enough to let down those walls and perhaps for the first time in your life really let people in. I no longer have the sharp edges and I'm surely not easily broken. It's never too late to be brave and be real. Because being real to ourselves, to others and especially to God makes all the difference for a well-lived, authentic life. Thank you for being real with us as well!
God bless you and help you heal back to perfect health.
Bless you. You brought me to tears with your beautiful words of wisdom. Praying for you.
You have learned the greatest lesson of all and shared it so beautifully and it hit my heart because your words are the most raw and true meaning to what life is really all about! I read it 4 times, very powerful, Thank You and may God keep you strong ! Sending you Love and Hugs sweet soul!
@faithandveggies What a beautiful comment. You may be learning one of life's best lessons. And what an example you are to all those in your circle. It must feel freeing to let go of pretense and personas most of us develop. Many of us feel inauthentic because we try to please others, or we try to impress. It's exhausting. Thanks for sharing these words of wisdom. May the Lord give you abundant strength and energy to handle your trial with confidence, knowing that you will see the goodness of God. What a blessing to know the Lord. My daughter lives in Heaven and that has changed my perspective about life on earth. We have things to learn here, responsibilities, and good times, but this world is not our Home. Unbelievable things lie ahead for those who love the Lord. Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful just beautiful inside & out. It's never to late❤
The lesson I learned too late was to appreciate my hubby when I had him. I regret many things I have said to him or things I should have done for him. 💔 I will be forever regretful of that, but hope to treat myself and others better.❤
life is long, you're right, i divorced after 31 years because I just couldn't bear being lonely and neglected and ignored one year more. covid actually helped me finally face facts. for me, covid was a blessing. I realized I could die tomorrow OR I could live another 30 years. either way, I didn't want to waste one more day of my life with someone who didn't even talk with me. your story in the car ride was exactly what used to happen to me. now 4 years post divorce and Im happy and content and live a full beautiful life. the life I always thought I would have. It is joy, pure joy to love myself and my life and all Ive created for myself.
The important thing is to continue learning about things that interest you, that fulfill you.
I loved my children and wanted a happy marriage with a husband who was my friend. It's clear he didn't want me as a friend. I never felt lonely as a mother, but as a wife, I never felt so lonely, not only because he wasn't there for me emotionally, but because I wasn't a friend for myself. Since my divorce I learned I did I had a wonderful friend in myself, that I was enough. I've never, ever been lonely since.
Favorite Beattle's 🎵 song 🎉 When I'm 64 Now I'm 68 & half 😊
I can soooo relate,Susan!
In the last several years I have realized how horribly hard I was on myself! I never thought I measured up! I married an abusive man(go figure) and stayed in that marriage for 30 yrs. Thank God at 48 yrs old I got out! I reconnected with my first love (I was 14 & he was 16)and married him at age 57. I’m now 70 and have learned that I am responsible for my own happiness. Our marriage is strong and I know how blessed I am!💜
Susan,you are more beautiful now than at 40! You seem to be aging backwards!💜
Clever lady and one who was able to find her first love after so long. Good on you., yes you have been blessed.
So sweet... 💗. Glad it's working well for you!
How truly lucky you are, dear! Wish I had such a love story to tell.
The life lesson I think I learned too late is that people are who they are. People do what they want and that is who they are. There's nothing anyone can do to change anyone. It's never about anyone but themselves that dictates who they are and what they do. If someone wants to cheat, they will cheat regardless of how perfect you are or how well you can monitor. People are who they are & we either accept them as that or we waste years trying to improve them while we destroy ourselves in the process. The end result is always that they are who they are regardless of who you are.
So very true
You are so right! They are who they are. I had one fella I dated (almost married) who told me I couldn't save him from jumping off a cliff if he wanted to. He was right. In the end we split up and it was the best thing for me. I was lucky he realized he couldn't give me what I wanted. I wasn't so lucky with my 3 husbands--they married me because of what they thought I could give them to fill their needs, but at my expense because it was never enough. Loved your last sentence!!
@@luvminchi304I guess some things are only learned by experience. I spent 20yrs learning that lesson. ((❤))
I learned I don't have to be perfect. I just have to do my best.
I typed and typed and who knows what I clicked here, but the darn thing vanished. So, starting over ... like we do when the plans we had for ourselves go an unexpected way. The loneliest time of my life was during my 11-year marriage. Single for 40 years now, I feel genuinely happy and content. Of course, having someone special would be the icing on the cake but I love cake either way. What have I learned too late? Plenty, but that could sound like regret. And, yes, I have some. No one gets to my age (70) without regrets. If I could say one thing that I learned way too late, it would be that ... I am enough. I'm curious and kind and open, and I love hard and I feel deep and I'm not everyone's cup of tea.
You are wonderful and wise...and we try don't we to see tht when we are young...but we can't. Love to you Helen!!! Susan & Desi
One important life lesson for me is that when you’re kind and helpful and understanding, your whole being is at peace. Of course it’s impossible to feel that way all the time, but it gets easier and easier to right the ship when that’s the goal.
A very wise woman!!!
Nothing is worse than being with someone frightened and alone.. look how far you have come.. God has a plan he cares for us... We are cherished and worthy...no matter our circumstances ❤
My biggest lesson in life is to stop hanging on so hard and long to things that no longer serve me. Men, jobs & other situations that suck the life right out of me. Life is too short. I had a co-worker pass away a few days ago who was just a few years younger than I am, just out of the blue and unexpected. I've already been thinking about how short life is and how I need to stop holding on to things that don't suit me anymore, and this job is one of them. His passing just put a fine point on my feeling that I need to figure something else out to support myself and not hang on to this job just because it's a "good job".
No Shit Sherlock!
@@dianabrown833 no need to be nasty .
Sme peep thk they so perfect, n got it all goin on. But if they were honest with themsleves they ain't.
Dianabrown.
@@dianabrown833 Wow! That's rude ....
oh, my dear....it is NEVER too late to learn a lesson, it is just the right time! i believe in a cosmic world/universe, and i truly believe we learn the lesson when we are meant to. that old confucious saying (paraphrasing here) "when the student is ready, the teacher will present themselves." that doesn't mean you don't learn other lessons that you are meant to learn in its place for that time. hindsight is always 20/20...i believe we learn lessons as we our body, mind, and soul are prepared to take in that wisdom...not a minute sooner or later. i do believe what Is IMPERATIVE is to stay open to LIVING LIFE to the fullest, so as lessons come to us - we can see them and take them in. i absolutely love your positive, kind nature, it is so refreshing in today's world where gentleness and softness don't come around much...🥰🌻
i learned, in my 70's now, do not over commit.... find time for YOU each day.....because the commitments do not pamper you...
Happy to hear that Hal is coming for a visit. You and Hal have a special friendship, that seems to make you smile and laugh.
I am still learning this (too late) not to let others define who I am. My identity is in Christ - I am His child. Thank you for being so open - you are a joy!
Hi dear, I relate to that, for about 50 years I went through life thinking that I was nothing much. Work and work and not amount to much. Now is to late, I am 82 am I don’t care. God bless you all.❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
82 is not too late! You were wonderfully made by God! Please feel special, because yu are!
Your a awesome story teller…❤
I learned too late that I am worthy. I am kind and generous and I like me. I'm so grateful. Desi is so special.❤ Can't wait to see Hal.
I am still trying to learn how to be worthy of yourself. What helped you get there?
Suggestion: It's listening to our self talk. Go out and do things for others and you'll feel good about yourself and realize your self worth. Baby steps.
@@dorisdaylight8415 letting go of the old messages and listening to myself....I am enough. Baby steps.
I am 57 years old and I learn now that in my 20s 30s 40s and 50s I needed to be with a man to be complete wrong… I am recently divorced after 17 years in a relationship and this is the happiest moment in my entire life my freedom I am choosing to fall in love with myself. This is a choice that I’m making I don’t need a man to be complete and I’m learning that now..
Amen.
What I learned too late is that I am worthy of love and being loved.
Susan, so well said. I was 39 when my mom turned 70. I felt sad cause I didn't want my mom to get old . My father was not a good person and was happy he wasn't in my life any longer. Never wanted to loose my mom , we were tight. As for marriage, I remember sitting down with the minister before getting married talking with my future husband and I. My future husband told the minister "I don't have to worry she ( I ) does all the worrying for both of us." Boy did my future husband get a talking to.The minister sat up straight and said" isn't that a hard job for one person." I will never forget. My mom always said if you are not a team you are nothing. Talking about the wisdom I wish I had. I heard the words, just didn't get it. Thank you again for a wonderful video ! Wisdom ! We have it now!!! Learned along the way. We heard the words, just didn't sink in at the time . I think back and wished I had the wisdom I have now. Thank you Susan for another heart felt vidio.
Hello, Susan. I just love your video chats. The scenery, music, everything you share makes your videos so awesome. Desi is precious. I lost my sweet pup about 2 years ago ~ still hurts. I relate to the things you share. I think we girlies are more alike than we are not. The older I get the more I depend on my faith in God ~ he is always my comfort and peace. I'm going through some hard things and if it were not for God, I can't imagine how I would get through the struggles. He helps us make our way through our life. On our own we don't have much strength but, God... he is my strength always. Like you said, we are not what hurt us. We can't let the hurts define us. Thank you for talking about things our age group can really relate to. We do need other women to share with.
Amen!
Life is fleeting. Eternity is forever. Lessons here for everlasting forevers.
From one artist/drifter to another- it's because I didn't fit in, that today when all the good girls are so desperately struggling with aging and regret that I'm on more solid ground. I still don't fit in because my regrets are few - I have lived and risked. I have grieved, laughed , celebrated, been inappropriate, struggled and loved so deeplly.Those qualities of youth that kept me from fitting in are the qualities that have my dukes up now and head back with laughter. It's why you shine as a beacon for the rest of us to follow
Very well said! 👏👏👏
You are going to look smashing in those shoes and dresses.
I learned too late to appreciate my husband, because I thought we would
Grow old together, and we would enjoy the retirement years, but he passed
Away some years ago, so I learned to be content with my own company ❤
I stayed with an emotional abusive husband because I learned too late that I am smart and good enough to make it on my own and that I deserved to be happy. Thank you Susan, can't wait for the Paul McCartney tribute :)
That’s going to be fun!🤩
Lesson that I learned too late...to not be so judgemental of how others choose to live their lives. I don't walk in their shoes. I keep my judgment to myself most of the time, but even that kind of judgemental attitude hurts me.
I wish I would have realized this years ago.
Heavy lessons tonight Sue......
Yes a bad or empty marriage is worse than no marriage ...
And no marriage does not mean lonely ....its a choice...!!!....
Lonley is you Not content or happy with yourself ...
Im 75 been divorced for 35 years...my choice...
I raised my 2 children and Loved it...a very attractive woman, but I chose to raise my children on my own.... I've always been strong and I've always been confident maybe that comes from my parents.... But my choices were my choices and I have no regrets...
I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment in a senior community and I love it... Have several friends keep myself active and I am very happy.. i do like men but don't need don't want a marriage....im very content and very happy with my life
I like your attitude.
Learn to love yourself ( still can’t love myself) and never rely on anyone to make you happy especially a man. Depression is so real and so very hard to get through 💔
❤️🤗
I think learning things too late is just a part of life and growing. I think men also feel the same way about women. We need to realize we're all responsible for our own happiness. Living with anyone is hard. Communication and kindness are key.
I also think we're all so busy taking care of our children and families that we never even think to plan for the third stage of life.
Social media and the lack of the family unit has a lot to do with our loneliness. We need to reach out to one another. That's why this podcast is so popular and meaningful. We're all in this together and we humans need one another. Reach out and help another. ❤
One life lesson that I have tries to pass on to my children and my grandchildren, that I feel I realized was important almost too late… Hang on to your true friends in Life. Don’t let life get in the way. There may not be many, because quality is better than quantity but, Friendship, through out your life is so important. I realized that in my 50’s.
I lived in the shadow of my older sister. I had no support to be me. Even now it's a struggle despite that I've pulled ahead of my sister in some areas.
I know, it hurts remembering the negative. After my mother died recently I was at the river crying as I scattered her ashes but the sadness was about the hurtful things she said right up into her nineties.
I am so sorry to read your comment. That is just awful. I hope you find happiness in the life without your mother. Words can really hurt so much. I send you positive vibes and so much joy in your future.
@@dorisdaylight8415 Thankyou for your kindness.
The hurtful things were about HER thoughts and feelings, projected outward. You were just the recipient; and if you were not there, someone else would have been the recipient. One of my work colleagues taught me, "Don't hold on to other peoples' garbage."
A life lesson is to learn to observe a person who is trying to hurt you with their words- just observe them without reacting - practice not absorbing their negativity
Because it's not you.
Be grateful that you don't behave so negatively.
I learned too late not to push others away and be so isolated, now at 62 I'm regretting doing that way too often...my advice...START WITH YES
Hi Susan & Desi!! What a great video, so full of wisdom! I get to be 75 years old in two weeks - just 3 days after Paul’s birthday!! Holy Cow, we’re old people! My greatest life lesson to pass on is - never, ever lose your sense of humor. Life is really hard & sometimes messy but find something to smile about! It’s a challenge sometimes; but try to keep a happy heart - it does good like a medicine! (Prov 17:22)
Love to you & Desi - can hardly wait to hear - Hey Jude!! (I’m Judy after all;)
Love & Blessings to all our friends here too! Til next week 😘❤️🙏🏻
Lesson learned...Invest in yourself. You are who you will be with until the end...so give to yourself to be the person you want to be with. I will be 75 in mid July and it's a lesson I have learned to late.
Hi from Italy, Learned how to love and accept myself after 60... I spent a life time putting everything and everyone before myself and my own needs. Some how I survived!
I said goodbye to a marriage at 56 that was bringing me down and broke my heart. I lived far from family, I was alone. Then 10 years later I lost the house and my beloved garden I had worked so hard for and which was everything to me.
I found an apartment a year ago and moved in and the last year Ive been planning and watching my life unfold and dreams come true. I made a garden on my balcony and I love having tea there in the morning amidst my roses. I have my own UA-cam channel about my life in Italy! I live in a beautiful town and Im happy to spend my next 30 years here. Never let go of your dreams.
Love to you and Desi
One life lesson I have learned... accept, don't expect.
I learned that without my king Lord and savior.I’m nothing.God is my strength.and that each one of us have a purpose.
Amen!!! He is my life!!!!
I learned that we try to make imperfect people everything to us and they can't be. Only a perfect God can fill us up.
@@comfortcreekranch4948Same here! God is ALWAYS here for me and He is my Lord and Savior ~Amen🙏🩷
Amen❤!! Without the Lord I surely would be one of the living dead! Thank you Lord for loving me and coming into my life. ❤❤
I consider myself a "Christian Realist". I don't suffer fools lightly any longer. I will speak up if I am wronged in daily life with strangers I know nothing about, ie if they are believers like myself. If one is kind I like them. If one is a bully, or arrogant, or just plain rude, as in workers/customer service, I will not hesitate to report to management.
Hi Susan! I'm 77 and have been married for 56 years. Some of my loneliest times have been when I wanted to have a conversation with my husband, but he wasn't in the mood to talk. Sometimes it is when we are riding in the car and I wish I could turn on the radio at least (he doesn't like the radio on in the car). But, he is a kind man and shows the love he has for me...we have been through a lot together because of his heart disease. Lesson learned late...focus on gratitude and what is good in my life instead of focusing on the negative things. It's hard to do, but when I accomplish it, I am a much happier person. Thanks for a beautiful video! George Harrison is my favorite! 😊❤
I’ve made many mistakes in my life and try to better every day. At 58 it’s hard to excuse myself for the stupid things I allowed. Learning though.
Thank you for being here each week with such awesome talks and advice. Just helping us know it’ll be ok and that we can forgive ourselves and live better lives.
You are amazing!
I think we “learn” our lessons when we are ready to receive them. It’s the experiences we have that prepare the soil for the realization or revelation to take hold. It’s all in the timing ❤
So very true.
Amen!💙
I have learned that I have been so reckless most of my life. Now watch my words and to be more discerning with my acquaintances and my decisions. And I have learned the importance of cherishing every day.❤
Oh thank you for saying this...I feel so much the same!!! Feels good not to be alone! xo Susan
Also, I learned that romance is not real love. And I was addicted to romance. Yikes, it took 71 years😂. I'm still a bit of a starry-eyed romantic.
One lesson that I learned is that if you can drive and have a reliable car, go visit in person the people that you love. I had the chance to do a lot of that recently for my brother after a terminal cancer diagnosis but wish I had done a lot more if it before he was sick. The heck with the traffic. Just go.
Susan - thank you so much for the beautiful message in your video! It resonated deeply with me. After 31 years of marriage to a selfish, alcoholic narcissist - I finally had enough and took back my life! I held off divorcing him for all those years because I saw friends and family having good marriages and I wanted to be like them. You are so right - you have to follow your own path in life! Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing this! You are beautiful inside and out! P.s. Hi to Desi! 🐾
My first husband beat me up while I was pregnant.
Fortunately, I escaped and had my daughter. It was the worst marriage in the world.
My second husband was a decent man. He adopted my daughter. He was a good father. But he was mentally ill, he smoked. I developed severe Asthma. I had to divorce him, I didn't want to, but it saved my life.
My boyfriend of 12 years was my true love, but he hurt me with on line cheating. He became a hoarder. I had to leave him. But I still love him and we have a post relationship. Yet I will never live with him again. I have my own place now.
I am glad I had my daughter, I don't regret it. I was a good social worker when I could work. I like my writing. I traveled a lot.
Everything wasn't bad, it wasn't always good either. It was both. But I lived it.
"You are not what hurt you" - Amen. Oh, boy did I learn this later in life.
Amen. I am coming to that realization very late in life, also.
My good friend's cancer is back. I have empathy and want to do the best for/with her. She really tries to be positive.
What other people think of me is none of my business…I no longer have the energy to worry about what other people think of me…I have had quite a journey, but all the hard times have made me very empathetic to so many things that others have gone through or are going through.
Susan,
We as women grow up , regardless if we had positive role models in our lives. We learn to forgive our parents, accept them good & bad and grow into adults. Learn the life lessons ourselves and not to repeat it when the all to familiar circumstances rear their ugly head.
We need to be proud of ourselves to learn our life lessons to become smarter and wiser in our relationships with friends, husbands and lovers.
It is never too late to learn! Please ladies, don’t beat yourself up for finally learning a lesson, that you have stumbled through out your life, be proud of yourself!
We are strong, smart and survivors and have learned to laugh at ourselves and look forward to new adventures.
You are all Hero’s in my Book! Be proud to strut yourself, no looking back, keep your eyes looking forward! ❤️👏❤️
After two marriages with husbands that started out wonderful, and later turning abusive, revealing their true identities, my lesson learned later in my years is that living alone is not as bad as society would make it out to be.
I still work full-time, can support myself comfortably, and enjoy hobbies that keep me active and fulfilled. Sometimes I wonder if life could be more fulfilling with a partner. But, as soon as those thoughts start rolling around in my head, I remind myself that life is good…if it happens organically, then I will openly explore the possibility, cautiously, but will most likely never enter marriage again.
I’ve learned in my 60+ years is that the unknown is empowering and when we can be the most creative. When we find what we are made of and what we are capable of. Joy and contentment is found within ourselves❤ as we sow so shall we reap.
This is *crazy* ... I was thinking how it feels like you're speaking directly to us when you look into the camera.. then you said something about it. And I was wondering how Hal is doing and was going to ask.. then you mentioned him. Whoa! So many of us feel like you're our best friend, sweet Susan. Thank you for openly sharing your life, wisdom, and kindness!!! 💗🌷 I can't wait to hear Desi sing, "Hey Jude" when Hal visits for your Beatles' concert! 🐶🎤
Thank you for being a very important part of my life and thank you for being my friend! 💞
Yhank you for being in my life...! Happy weekend!!!
@@LittlePoetI feel the same way about you, Susan. I love your visit with us every week🤗💕
@@juliefizpatrick513 aww..:) so sweet!
You are an amazing woman and beautiful and l love your doggie.
Your words mean so much to me and I'm 48, I apply wise words to my life all of the time, God bless you and Desie and may others find Peace within themselves and enjoy this long challenging life.❤
Sending you lots of love..thank you for being so kind...xxoo Susan & Desi
Looking forward to your visit with Hal, what fun!
When my Mother was going through Hospice end of life care she kept telling me to always remember the good things about us... It's been 6 years since her death, i still think of her wanting to erase those hard times for me, she was always my greatest supporter, I miss her always being there for me.
I think I still try to morph into other peoples lives a bit. I find myself trying to do the same things other women do and maybe I can be more like they are. I enjoyed this so much. Take care and have a good week. ♥️♥️♥️
I see you as someone I so admire and I would morph into your life if i could! At this age I find myself very happy though but when I was younger I had that " grass is always greener" attitude. I still long for perhaps a partner...youa nd Doug are like magic!!! Love oyu! Sues & Dez
I think it’s good to copy paste all things that we find positive, admirable, and fun that others are doing. It teaches us to climb out of our box, and helps us learn new things about ourselves and fine tune and polish the unique souls we are. How could that not be fun!!:) We can take with us what we like and leave the rest that’s not for us. 🩵
After reading all these comments, I can see that lots of people have had a abusive marriages/ relationships and stayed in them for years, just like I did. I am so happy that Susan as brought us all together. Susan, I find your words of wisdom so comforting, thank you for everything you share with us. I can't wait to see you and Hal together again, it is going to be a blast..love & best wishes to all ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for being here and being so kind..my love ot you always, Susan & Desi
I’m crying just hearing everything you’re saying Susan just how you could be with someone and you feel so lonely I been with my husband for 27 years. We’ve been arguing so much really bad. He’s a great guy. He just goes to work comes home., takes good care of us financially, but he’s dismissive of my feelings, just watches. TV doesn’t wanna do anything when I tell him somethings bothering me. It’s like one ear & out the other. The bottom line is I’m so tired of arguing that at the point I told him today I need to be by myself. I need to find my own place, I need to be at peace no arguing I wanna do better for myself. Take better care of myself. I work so much. That’s all I do is work. Then Come home cook & clean it’s a cycle that never ends.. I feel bad about myself. I feel so deeply insecure I hate looking at myself , I used to be so beautiful . Now I look scary. I don’t like the way I look or the way I feel. Besides it’s not fare to my husband that I’m always yelling at him and it’s not fair to me either because we’re always yelling at each other every day all day , We’re not good for each other right now. I envy. How at peace your life is. You’re so beautiful. I love how you take so good care of yourself. Your home is so cozy and beautiful. You have no one to argue with you & you don’t have to cook or clean after you can treat yourself buy yourself whatever you want. Whatever you want you don’t have to worry about feeding someone else. Or cleaning up after someone else’s mess. I live with my husband and our two sons who are in their 20s too it’s just to much for me taking care of all them & working around 50 to 58 hours a week, I need to take care of me now. I just wanna live my life like you & have a beautiful home., A vehicle of my own to get around. Instead of my husband or my son’s driving me everywhere, I just want peace & serenity in my life!! I want to fix my apartment up nice or live in my motorhome until I buy a house next year. I want to buy myself a car & be independent instead of my husband driving me around, I wanna look forward to going to work and being able to spend my money the way I want to, I don’t drink I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I don’t even have friends. I mean, I have friends that grow up with. I have not spent actual time with a friend and probably 19 years. my life has always involved my husband, kids and grandkids that’s it and Work. I Look at you and I watch all your videos and I want to be just like you!!! I’ve been feeling this way for a few years now I just wanna live in peace. Take care of myself & go get my nails done without my husband complaining that I buy too much skin care or I just bought make up why am I buying more I always have him as women you know we love our beauty product, He just complains about everything I buy complain about me getting my hair done or nails done and I never do that but those little things things I’d like to do for myself he’ll complain , the only enjoyment I have is when I’m treating myself to something or when I see my grandkids, , I want to get out of work come home make a cup of coffee or tea. Sit by my electric fireplace in MY COZY BEAUTIFUL HOME like you Susan. there’s no greater feelings than being independent being able to take care of yourself not having to rely on anyone and to do everything at your own pace and if you want to buy something to make you feel good about yourself you can do it. Your able to do what you want when you want I told my husband I don’t care about money. I don’t care about anything but just being at peace time alone. I just wanna take care of myself. I really need that long time to do me now. I don’t think you understand how much you inspire or help us out. I know being single could be lonely too, but even being married as you know, you could still be lonely. I’d rather be alone than argue every day with my husband besides, I know I’ll take better care of myself, I’ll have more time for myself rather than just always use my time to take care of my husband and my grown boys! Susan, I feel like a robot. All I do is work come home cook and clean. I pay all my bills. I could see my husband complaining if I’m spending lots of money all the time or I’m neglecting our bills. I don’t do any of that I have good credit, I always put my priorities first, but I feel like a robot all my kids are all grown up and I’m still not able to live for me now but that’s my fault for along with it I’m going to take care of me now!! they’re all grown they could take care of themselves.
I really enjoy your videos. You’re at a similar stage in life that I am. I had a miserable childhood because my mother was (and still is at age 94) a Malignant Narcissist.
My father and both grandfathers were alcoholics also. I was to be seen and not heard, and I was told in great detail at the age of 6 that I “tore my mother up” during my birth. My dad threatened to leave a few times a week. Anyway, with a lot of distance and a lot of therapy and antidepressants. I learned how to live my own life not as a shadow under their feet. I divorced my husband of 42 years because I realized (too late?) that he, too, was a narcissist. I have never been happier living my life my way and free of others sucking the life out of me. I live for me now.
P.S.- Desi’s underbite is adorable. Reminds me of a fox terrier I had named “ FRED” ! Be well.
I love how you look at the camera and see our hearts and not just a lens.
Another beautiful video.
Blessings from Eastern Kentucky
I SO ENJOY YOUR VIDEOS. AT 72, I'M APPRECIATING EVERY SINGLE DAY NOW. AS THEY SAY..TAKE THE TIME TO SMELL THE ROSES. SOME LIFE LESSONS I'VE LEARNED ARE; REVENGE IS NEVER SWEET, WHEN YOU FORGIVE SOMEONE, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM, NEVER ALLOW SOMEONE TO COMPROMISE YOUR OWN VALUES, OR ACCEPT ABUSE AS YOUR FAULT. TRULY, WHAT YOU DO UNTO OTHERS, WILL BE DONE TO YOU...GOOD OR BAD..APPRECIATE WHERE YOU ARE IN THIS TIME, LOVE THOSE WHO LOVE YOU BACK, AND LEARN TO LET GO OF THOSE WHO DON'T....
Here is the lesson I learned too late -Never try to be someone that you think everybody would like. Just be yourself and if somebody does not like you, so be it!
Perfect. Such wisdom. Yes, the days are long, but the decades fly!☺
Susan, I really like your take on life….its not short but long, if we are among the fortunate ones. My husband and I are celebrating our 52 anniversary in a week…..and known each other almost 60 years. True high school sweethearts. So I have been so blessed to take this journey with my best friend and love. We have lost many whose lives were too short, so, I am thankful for every additional candle on the cake . As to lessons, one of the biggest for me, personally, is all of the hours I wasted worrying about what others would think….not about my character, or my quality as a human……but truly wasted time on how they would see my weight, my clothes, my hair…etc. Took me decades to realize that they are concerned about the same for themselves and do not give a rip about those things in others. lol…would have loved that wisdom in my 30s -50! I adore your content, your warmth , your openness and of course Desi❤ Have a beautiful week.
I learned (just in time) it's ok to walk away.❤
It's ok...yes..:) When I stayed I was so deeply lost!
I will be 73 on June 11th. I started watercolor painting this last year and it has been a good therapy for me.Never thought I would do that. Even though I am now in heart failure and chronic pain, I am trying hard to do things and learn things. No, we are not too old. And please...call me senior, but not elderly!!!!! Haha. Mary Ann Young, Boise, ID
At 66. I have crafted a life in which I am happy while alone and also, I am able to meet with people if I feel like it. (I am a guy, BTW.) I have learned to not hate myself for having different likes from others (For example, I get bored at the beach.) I used to try to make myself like it! I finally accept myself for me! I also refuse to hang out with "mean" people.
Hi Susan. I love your blouse today. I think my biggest life lesson is I learned just how much God loves me & how He cares about the smallest details of my life. Jeremiah 29:11 states He has a plan for each of our lives. However, many of us don't follow God's instruction book & think we can do it better ourselves. Without following God's plan, we sure make a mess of things. I know I did. Once I reconnected to Him, He forgave me & got me back on track. Don't get me wrong, I still mess up at times, but my life is peaceful, content & not really lonely. I've learned to be content in my circumstances & know God is in control. Our world is suffering today because we turned our back on our creator. We were meant to live in this earthly paradise He created for us, to walk & talk with Him, until we let sin enter. I don't mean to preach, but He is the answer you may be looking for. We have a God shaped hole in our hearts, only He can fill. I pray for all of you who don't know that perfect love relationship ❤🙏🙏
Thank you so much for being here and being so kind..my love to you always, Susan & Desi
Hi Carol. I experienced what you have. Yet talking about God as “ he “ and living organized religions teachings and their rituals is the biggest mistake everyone of us make when caught in this mindset. It took me 50 years to understand the truth of that system. Hope you do as well. I don’t want to be blunt about it for when I am, it ruffles some low frequency energy beings feathers.
Learn about duality. How it works everywhere on our planet and get into true spirituality of unconditional LOVE is where it’s at.
Auntie Susan thank you for your wonderful issues you discussing with us and precious advices. Yes unfortunately there are so many things we learn later in life may due to Inattention , negligence self or circumstances such as working job we enjoy . Don’t work for sake of money . Never stop learning. Be productive outside work. Maintaining healthy life balance. There are also useful life skills such as close reading , be attentive, be kind to ourselves and people around us , be creative , first of all have strong faith of god .
I have learned so late in life that no one can make me happy!! Being married and still feeling lonely is the worse. Now I know the love of my God is forever and always. He will never leave or forsake us.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️
Watching your videos is like a weekly therapy session for me.❤
It took me 65 years before I realized how happy I could be just doing my own thing. Just being ME. There is a pricetag for any lifestyle, so mine comes with having to support myself. That can be stressful, but I enjoy my part time job and I touch other peoples lives in a positive way thru my work in the funeral industry.
My biggest fear is dying before all my little projects at home are not finished. Not enough hours in the day to hold my enthusiasm for life.
It really is an attitude you cultivate. And it can be lonely if you go down that dark path of comparing your life to others' perceived happier lives.
Ive been married twice, was happy a few years each, but most of those other married years were miserable for me. I validated my life thru the public eye. It never works.
Learn to live happy for YOURSELF and stop worrying about what other people do. As I said earlier, there is a pricetag for any lifestyle.