Won't be surprised if black people start selling each other in the future again... like they did during slavery. Black men better watch. Our patience is growing thin.
After dating an African man I can honestly say I have no interest in dating anyone who is not African. Yes, our culture is slightly different but, I find Africans as a whole are more loving, supportive, family-oriented, and financially savvy.
And for the reason is why I am willing to give an African man another chance. I unfortunately married an African male (Nigerian) that had more learning and growing up to do. I know that not all are immature so I am opened to dating African men again.
One of the best interviews I’ve seen. It’s salacious and controversial yet authentic in every way possible. We need more transparent exchanges like this. 👏🏾👏🏾
I’m married to a Ghanaian man. Meet in the US but was introduced through my good friend when I studied abroad in Ghana. He’s the provider. Community is huge for relationship to flourish especially when they only have rapport w/ you. Introduction to friends and family is pivotal. Having community is huge. Knowing the culture is so important. I have never paid prior in any relationship with any Ghanaian man while in Ghana. Anytime in a man’s presence in Ghana I never paid but I adopted tenants of their culture and was accepted as one of them. But cut your clothes according to your cloth. Every man cannot provide in Ghana’s economy. Know quality people to introduce you to quality men that may yield better results. It does suck when people get played. Nice guys are there but go to quality places to meet quality men.
This conversation is overly simplified. There are all types of men: the well educated, the not so well educated, the hustlers etc. What you are describing here fits the hustlers category.
I experienced the same thing when I went to Ghana. I’ve traveled all over the world and I’ve never met a man who was more eager to get married and fall in love the first time meeting me more than Ghanaian men. At first I was like awwww Ghana men are so loving then I realized it’s just game 🙄
They love you and want to get married in less than a week.!!😂😂😂 They run into the wrong one with me. I didn't move to Ghana for a man so it's easy for me to pass them by.
Not only African women do not take stuff, it sounds like you and these AA women are weak women.Its no way I'll give any man that kind of money unless we have helped each other also know each other for some time and have a mutual understand.
Before you say African men are like this and that, let's put things into context. If you met a Russian who was a jerk would you go around saying all European men are assholes? It's not about culture, it's about your ability to decipher between a playa and someone genuine.
Lol I agree but we as a people have to stop playing because it’s not funny anymore the time for playing games is over, we have to be unapologetically intentional if we as a people are going to win the war against our open enemies and we shouldn’t be enemies but our own best friends because when I look around the world Black people are the most exploited especially the African American we are the wind beneath Americas wings and are highly disrespected even by those who themselves are being disrespected by the same system so how do they justify their displaced anger, blame Black Americans, when America wants to justify what’s wrong in America to the whole world including Mother Africa blame Black Americans, enslaved Africans build this American Dream off our nightmare and people will kill themselves to get to America and Blacks get it, it’s just that when working hard in America and having to work four jobs to take care of self and families back home and can’t tell nobody the difficulties need someone to blame, black Americans for sure, we just don’t get it so sad, stay encouraged ❤️
Don’t go into relationship in Ghana without learning the culture, and even some of the tribes in Ghana don’t even allow you to marry from different tribe.
I don't want to be harsh but she sounds immature. Yes, men don't lean on women financially, but everybody operates according to a certain "class". So if you are an African-American woman looking for a man, then you have to go for a man in Ghana, Nigeria or what have you, that is of a certain stature - but you have to be the type of woman such men (e.g., professional or business men) would go for. Does your demeanor match such a person? That is the question. But if you meet someone in Africa who's far less advantaged, of course he'll lean on you financially.
This is the "them Africans" smear and it is what Jay has been preaching against all this time. So I'm wondering why he keeps nodding his head in approval. Her experience is her experience but it doesn't extrapolate to all Africans. It is strange how those who just discovered Africa think they are experts on Africa and its people. This is exactly what the European explorers, the Vasco da Gamas did. They arrived in Africa, saw all the resources, made the most of them. They named present Ghana the coast of Gold. The people however were only seen as savages worthy to be enslaved.
that's not being harsh, she's ignorant, shallow minded and got the type men that fit her social class. she's only talking without any substance. I won't choose a girl with this mindset and attitude.
b so well said! I just couldnt believe that Jay found her "fascinating" or even at the least, interesting enough, to bring her to the world! This was so beneath him, and just made me so sad for her! I couldnt understand anything she was saying or doing up there!!! Ugh!!🤦♀️
I'm a black American on the continent with my husband and we are balling. Living our best lives. We are living lux. And, despite the obstacles and bs in America we did well their too. Cashed out and hit the continent not looking back. Teamwork makes the dream work. He is an alpha man among other men. We are not bowing down to anyone but Yah.
@@sexymesha44 I'm Hebrew and it is Hebrew or Israelite. No such thing as a Hebrew Israelite. But yes I know who I am and walk in His power. I am not trying to block my blessings after He brought me ought of captivity, Babylon. I serve Yah, why I said not bowing down to any man or woman. That's why so many of us are struggling on the continent. You do not adapt anyone else's culture or try to blend in. And blending in is dangerous throws you under whatever you are trying to blend into, another subjugation.
Women from USA , UK going around with a placard saying "I am desperate" is very appealing to a man from a developing country looking for a get out clause. Common in the Caribbean, could tell you a few stories. 🇯🇲 men are lining up with their honey coated tongues😂😂😂😂. You see it on the streets and these women are flattered by all the attention. Sorry sisters but the stereotype is that you are desperate and not bothered about standards? They think it's love and age doesn't appear to matter. The reverse also happens, you know, those men on their last leg who want to prove to the world that they've still got what it takes?
You notice, ghetto type women stay down and produce ghetto children of poverty; but women of essence are mature minded and strategize to make their money work for them with integrity. Have integrity!!!!!
The ghetto is a place not a type of Woman ………. All things have an essence ….. Maintain your integrity indeed however life is relative perspective ✨⚖️ Asè
Not happy with the generalization coz its sounds like you think love is a scam in Africa... meeting the family is a very serious occasion.... you met a player, but we are not all like that.
@@serene1275 She's sharing *her* experience in Ghana. I've also met/watched/know AA and Africans from the diaspora who have dated/married their partners from Africa *in Africa* (Ghana) and have thriving, beautiful relationships/marriages/families.
She is sharing her experiences and what other AA women shared. No lies were told. I heard the same from my friends and family that visited various African countries. She also made sure to add “not all.” So where’s the lie?
How ignorant can we be as a people, that as soon as a man u dont know well, from a culture u have no idea about at all, and u are in love! THIS IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CULTURE, BEEN BROUGHT UP AND RAISED DIFFERENTLY, UNDERSTAND LIFE COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY, AND DEFINITELY UNDERDTAND THE WORD "LOVE" EVER SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY! So who taught anyone AAs especially, that every man from any culture, understands what u need as an American, and what u understand, or what u mean??!! U dont even understand their language, even if they speak English!! For God's sake, learn the culture first, make a very learned effort to understand what they mean, ask real pertinent questions to understand what Love means to a Ghanaian/Nigerian, no matter what they tell u as a man, pat attention, and please be mature about this whole thing!! Every man in every culture has their own enderstsndaning of love, and what they know and have been taught about what a relationship should be,,so why dont u just make an effort to learn! Most men in developing countries are just looking for an escape, Everyone should know that at the back of their minds...then let him PROVE U WRONG! Simple! Then u save yourself all these stories of heartbreak and puppy love ish! One thing I need to stress to AAs, and this from a Ghanaian sister born and raised! Now listen: English is not our first language, and most of our english speaking/words, come from simple literal translation of local languages into ENGLISH, that's why u would here them use the words "I LOVE U" the first minute they meet u! They dont mean the American English or British English, or I LOVE U! NO NO NO!! I've been trying to explain this to AA sisters till nauseum!! Uugh! Pay attention to the English they are speaking! They are translating words from local languages into English, and some of these words are not even translatable into English! Ask exactly what they mean, and have them explain several ways! In GA and Twi, we say I love u, instead of, "I'm attracted to u", or "I find u attractive!" But our local languages dont have the word ATTRACTED to u, directly like that. Also, they didnt used to say "I like u" to a woman, becos they were put together young, and unions were arranged, and so on...no long engagements, etc..so they judt throw around the words I love u, to mean I'm attracted to u! So please try to learn the culture, b4 u start expecting anything! Always note: DIFFERENT CULTURES, UNDERSTAND LIFE AND EXPECT DIFFERENTLY!! NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE HAVE IN COMMON BY BLOOD AND BY PHYSICAL FEATURES, U ARE STILL A "FOREIGNER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY!" Why would u expect the men there, to understand and behave like a brother in the states?! Why? Why? Why? This convo is so immature!! Mic drop! Why dint we know this simple concept!
I agree with you and black Americans are very different culturally to Africans this is why I understand that Africans will see them as foreigners and they should try not to get offended by being called that.
What's immature about it..That's what their trying to explain if you would listen everybody don't know..That's why the conversation is interesting and to spread awareness to others especially African Americans...
At this stage in my life, I recognize that AA men and women have their own culture and when it comes to dating and marriage (although not perfect) there are things we have in common that don't get lost in translation. In my heart I think African men are wonderful, but culturally speaking, they would probably find me off-putting and I would likely feel the same about them when it's comes to certain gender expectations. Living here in the States under such oppressive conditions has caused both AA men and women to interact outside of their nature for survival reasons. I don't expect African men to understand this, and I have no example of a "submissive" gender role that I can leverage. All the women in my life have been powerful people who fought for their families and communities. They took leading roles and spoke up whenever they or others were victims of abuse and injustice. Any AA woman going to Africa looking for love needs to level set her own expectations and have an honest conversation about who SHE is culturally and the impact it may have on her relationship with an African man.
Interesting... I'm African but have lived in the US from a fairly young age. I find myself not here nor there as to whether to date African or an African American. It just depends on the woman for me. There are things from both sides that I like and some I despise. I can say for sure that some Africans and African Americans can date if they can meet in the middle. I find that people who have less of a hood mentality and less of a village mentality tend to get along fairly well. But if you want to see how the world ends, put a strong ghetto and a strong bush personality in one room!! They'll argue about everything, even breathing.
@@daniells71 l have an iuess with the description of the word 'Village' ...is more of the personality of an cultured African....coming from a village maybe a simpleton but they're VERY RESPECTFUL DUTIFUL and very helpful people then most cities folks..
It's no wonder why as black people are so down trodden by all other races When we can't just work together as couples with a spiritual bond knowing what our ancestors went through just for us to be speaking like this now so sad
How long had this women lived and studied the culture in Ghana, sitting there generalising...your attitude and behaviour, will put the families off and believe me if the family don't like what they see, they will tell their child not to marry you....Full stop.
Black American women it is not advisable going to Africa to get a man. They're in your bank account and their papers you are their passport to America. You can get involved with the African men already in America and you can run security check. You don't lower your standards you want someone to your level. You have to see what he is bringing to the table you don't bring the whole darn table Good luck with your search for true love.
That's the problem Sisters go there with their money and Yoni thinking they can rule Brothers because they think they are about to rule a broke guy (something they can't do in America) and what ends up happening is some of the Brother on the Mother Continent already knows the game and plays along, where AA guys don't care if you have a little money, acting as AA guys are less than you won't fly.
Most of the men are taken in Africa. We usually marry young. Never provide or give to any African men. The way they treat African women is the way they should treat u.
Facts! If he is the protector and provider for the women in his family,but, will let you work 40-50 hours a week to pay for all or most things then he is not an asset. Cut that dude! There is no way your husband should be the protector and provider for his Mom, sister’s, nieces, sister in laws ,but, not his wife. Make it make sense because I see too much of this. She will never be soft and “submissive “ if she is in fact the head of the household.
@@Nomadicveggurl If she doesn't want to pay bills, then she shouldn't be working 40-50 hours per week. Anyone working that much needs to be investing that money into their family.
40 hours is the standard and if he is not being the provider then she has no choice,but, to work. Too many women are carrying the bulk of the financial load thus she is actually the head of the household. If she works 40-50 hours per week and pays the majority of the expenses while he supports his sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews then he is providing for them not her. How is he going to make life soft for his family,but, not his own wife? Do you know how many women are paying every thing and giving him money for his family? This is a tell tale sign of him being a hustler. Run! You don’t need a man that bad! Most African men are taught to be protectors and providers so if he is actually okay with his woman taking on that role then I have to question his integrity. Most cultures throughout Africa are patriarchal so this goes against everything that he has been taught. May I add that according to Islam her money is her money because her husband is expected to provide so if you are out here married to or dating any of these guys who identify as Muslim and you are financially providing for him and his family then something is already wrong with that picture.
@@Nomadicveggurl women weren't forced to work until they chose to work, precisely so that they WOULDN'T need to depend on a man. They wanted it this way and went about social engineering to bring it to fruition. There's no going back. But now they're trying to get back under a man's wing while STILL working? That doesn't make sense. Workers are providers. That's how its always been and probably how it always will be. When an American woman goes to Africa, with an American salary, she's most likely gonna be the breadwinner, and breadwinners put bread on the table. African men were more RAISED to be providers than they were TAUGHT to be providers, bc it's naturally how the male/female dynamic played out over the centuries. That dynamic largely remains in Africa. American women tampered with that dynamic in America, and as a result, the incompatibility of their nature (a desire to be provided for) and their nurture (a desire to work and be able to provide for themselves) developed and it follows them, no matter where they go.
Hey Jay, l think it's unfortunate the Lady didn't meet the right Ghanaian. There are good people out there in Ghana who will love you the way you are and not because they want to go to America
sometimes when u find one good geniune guy (in a million) than the parents won t like you. Lady's especially if u have children it even gets harder although slowly slowly changing though not much, ND if u r older than the guy most times u will be used than dumped.
As a woman thats never been to Ghana and wants to go, this convo wont deter me but pls understand there is validity in her advice. AA women specifically come to Africa very naive and ignorant. They need to understand that they can easily be marks for preditory men...same thing happens in Dominican republic, they love bomb you for a means of survival. It is silly to be offended bcuz there are women getting played and cheated everyday while u type ut comments.
I am living proof that you are correct. We got married but he also had a wife in the UK. The lady in the UK called me to introduce herself. He also had a wife in Ghana with about 6 kids i was hanging out with her the whole time I didn't have a clue, she was at the wedding directing everyone as to keep on task and schedule. Two years later his wife in the UK called me I was shocked. It's 8 years later and UK and I are Sisters. We are grateful to him. We both left him i had him jailed and running scared he up and moved leaving a high balance i was out about 15 Thousand. I got some money back. I am grateful to him I found a lifetime friend.
It happened to me. I live in the UK, he arrived here from Ghana. The entire family were in on the scheme. A lot of them are very untrustworthy, they are very crafty.
Ladies let me tell you men love to chase. You let him pursue you. You don't pull no money out of your pocket for nothing. If you ask you out, That means he's going to pay. Don't take your purse with you. Or did you eat and he came he ain't got no money you pay for yours and you'll be his ass sitting right there. We're not that dumb or desperate. Stop it!
But always remember to stash some small change in your bra so when the man runs away and leave you to pay the bill, you can hustle your way out through your small change hidden in your bra.
I can honestly say that I did not move to Ghana for a man. I moved here for peace and safety. A lot of Ghanaian men have approached me but I don't pay them no mind. I get on my motorbike and ride wherever I want. The men here say that my bike is my husband. That is true.
Who has facts on the percentage of African American women eho went to Ghana and got played? I would expect that to be a very small minority. A great majority of AA women have never been to Africa. Getting played is a universal game that men and women play all over the world. Although it happens to some desperate and foolish dreamers who let their guards down, AA women, overall, have not earned that stereotype.
Point blank and to the period. Africans will run that game of being naïve when the other person is really the one who’s naïve. Take off the rose colored glasses people and don’t get played. You don’t understand the language, you don’t know the culture, you in those African streets seeing how stuff really goes down, which has been going down for centuries! I’m an AA woman who’s ancestors were enslaved Africans, I’ve been becoming educated/putting the pieces together on just what happened, how did millions of millions of Africans were sold into slavery, MILLIONS, BECAUSE IT WAS A BUSINESS AND IT WAS SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE OTHER AFRICANS WERE THE CATALYST AND THE CAME AND TOOK OVER THE CONTINENT. Africa have some cleaning up to do. Black people in general.
Listen to this young woman. She’s speaking the truth. Yes there are a few true love stories but the majority of people get played. This doesn’t just happen in Africa but a lot of developing countries. The reality if you have an American or European passport many view as the golden tixx. You might not agree with the delivery but she’s speaking the truth. I thoroughly enjoyed this session.
What a conversation! A conversation that needs to be had. Young lady put you down with the game, take off the rose colored glasses ladies, young and old listen and take heed. That’s all I’m saying. 👍🏾💞
I'm 1/3 into the video and why do women here and there are still acting immature! Let us both, men and women, learn to grow up and throw away childish things and build true community. We are acting like reprobates. That's how slave trappers came in and destroyed us. Stop it!!!!
These women from the states are paying for the tally wacker. Bottom line!!! They talk about us men is the state’s but, they go over to Ghana and get played. I’m a Merchant Seamen and I see this all the time. It’s hilarious. I don’t feel sorry for any of them.
It goes both ways... These "men" (I say that losely) talk that trash about US women (similar to what you're attempting to do in your comment) and when they go elsewhere to "find love" they end up getting played and humiliated....That's just how the cookie crumbles lol 😉😘
How about you just go to school rather than "doing what you supposed to do'"... rather than this hypersexualized narrative, that's definitely not going to get you a proper man in Ghana, Nigeria etc.
This is the same sad attitude some of these women display everywhere they go, I am a Nigerian just because your relationship with one Ghanaian didn't workout doesn't mean you should generalized every Ghanaian men. This American attitude will not work here in Africa.
Focus on your career, money and skills. Use protection pharma and condom, LIMITED your partners. Look at men from all over the world; not just one type, one look.
This whole interview lacked substance due to the high level of immaturity! I highly see why the relationship didn’t work because it was based purely on an immature “yoni” mindset that believes that’s all it takes to secure a man!
@@mra.4466 Riiight, because I did not see this as a Nigerian man problem, especially if the behavior displayed here in this interview was at the forefront. This could have happened with any man, in any country, culture, or tribe if the behavior was not wife material. The lesson here is that men marry wife material and play around with those who use their “yoni” to attract men. Sadly, she hasn’t learned that while you can attract with it, he’ll use it and play with it for as long as it’s available, but it does not keep him.
From her narration is like there is no exception to this love entanglement. Guys, she never provider any positive to this and she goes ahead with the idea all Ghanaian men like money which is absolutely ridiculous. Jay seems to allow her to speak and not question her role of which kind of man she meet and where she meet them at. Thanks for your take, i believe she should be balanced with her story, and not what she has been told by others.
STOP SAYING AFRICAN MEN!!! Ghanaian men maybe but other nationalities ain't really checking for African American women like that - NO DISRESPECT. Most African men want a traditional woman, AAs women are not traditional. African men are providers and they don't give a damn about a woman's finances
It's not exactly like that. The one you was mess with is just an asshole....these kind of guy are less than 3%. I'm Ghanaian and I live in delaware(USA). My wife is african American, and I tell my wife not to work. She's a stay at home wife and we have 2 kids. I make very good money. And I take care of everything in my household. My wife have her weekly money. That's how really african does.
Exactly what my friends who left Ghana does...They take all or most of the responsibilities and never joke with their kids...I feel proud of them how they manage and grind hard for their families as an African immigrants
She says she is Nigerian and has dated a Ghanaian man but she keeps African men. Who is African men I am Zimbabwean, how does this have anything to do with me. I also know plenty female relatives who have been primary breadwinners. Stop stereotyping. If white people say African American men are things or African American women leech the social welfare system we would protest such stereotyping. Africa is a continent, be specific because you are just going to end up antagonizing a lot of Africans.
Any man that asks a woman for money is a nothing. Why would you as a woman give a man money. That is a No, No, No. Whether it's in America or Africa. Do not ever give a man money.
As a AA woman I can't fully agree, we have experienced just as much with AA men, I believe it's individual. So you are saying every AA woman that come to Ghana get played by every A man. Ok so you clarified not every A man play you. However, this is just generalization: So you said Ghanaian women don't go for what AA woman go for, also you said Ghanaian women know their husbands have other women. I agree with a lot of the comments no disrespect but the conversation sounds immature!
She may have over simplified it, but she's not wrong. The grass is not greener on the other side. The problem is African women don't talk about their experiences with African men. A lot of these women are suffering. You have to be smart when dealing with any man. AA and AFRICAN women are played in America for green cards.
She's not lying. Plenty of AA that traveled to Ghana or any other West African within the past 5 or 6 years had to file for divorce from their spouse due to green card fraud. It happened to a couple of my friends.
Keep it real. Our brothers in America make it either in music, sports or business and end up getting played by caucasians. That is what we should be talking about beco's we loosing millions and in some cases billions.
I DEFINITLY would LOVE to sit with this young lady speaking with Jay and Jay as well and give them the UNCUT TRUTH surrounding this ENTIRE conversation. I am born and raised in the United States hailing from the Washington D.C. Metro area. Have dated seriously 2 men from the Motherland and 2 different Countries when I was very young and the other when I got older and know plenty of women and men from the Motherland. Looonnng story short?? Ain't nobody going for that foolishness in (America) North America, Africa, Asia, Europe or any other CONTINENT. I don't care what culture, swag, game, treachery they may think they going to run on some women. It ain't happening and I would love to sit down with "both" of you and teach you about "WHY?" I am soooo firm in my stance. I"m here for the conversation anytime to include the "hard conversations" beloveds. I am a former Radio Host as well. The name of the broadcast: "Settling The Matter Radio Broadcast" hour. No matter what the topic... #SpirituallySolid #WisdomSolid #FoundationSolid ~KingDOMGrace Sugah*s~
This is a good one. I wish it was not controversial because I really think it’s basic knowledge. I’m thankful that a lot of these were things my church, my mother and father taught me.
You young people need to get wisdom from your elders as a mature Black women I could have told you how Black women get exploited by Black men from the Caribbean and Africa this has been going on for years it even happens to women from other races and why is any woman giving men money my Daddy told me never give any man money for ANY reason!
It really is important to as a rule not give money. It can encourage the wrong dynamic in a relationship, and also create resentment, it lowers a man's self-esteem.
Thank you 😊 💓 Child...I love, love, love when these backdoors get opened. And these old closets full of ghost get revealed. Dark place gets some light flashed on it. And when adults can be real talk and candid crystals of the "What it is".. I adamantly hate pretense. Agree or not, folk are just not down with acceptance...at all. We don't have to be about certain behaviors and condoning, but...we do need to know, recognize and realize these things exist in our family ties, in outside connectedness, and partnerships. And the reason is because we are accustomed to sweeping dirt under a rug. Prepare dark closets to store dirty, grimy, criminalized behavior we just don't want to deal with. In all honesty, we the Americanized-Blacks , Africans, Afro whoever, have had our sexuality demonized. And look who puts the bloody judgment finger on us? We are seeing ourselves through the colonizers and slave-master eyes, once again as the filth and devalued people. We have internalized it. And the thing is, we are by hiding it, hiding behind it, etc. are the very same unknowing perpetrators who keeps this cycle going. Is it the sweet, tantalizing little innocent idealism that we have been tainted to believe, is the Victorian virtuous woman or man ideal to look up too. To emulate or pretend we are outwardly someone or something we are not, whilst harboring all these un-vindicated demons, evil spirit's and imagined mental mindedness health issues. We cannot heal or begin to be healthy, ducking and dodging bombs, and bullets all the time, by denying the truths that we are inundated with daily. Whether it be in our own lives, children's lives, marriages, or schools, work, and coaching events. We are the reason we cannot go forward personally and as a culture, Nation or a people. How the heck do we talk about united Africa and "Pan-Africanism, when we can't, won't, don't want to, get oneself healed on a personal level. Folk more afraid of appearing evil outwardly than being evil within and living in it. All that is truly being promoted and upheld is pretense and insanity. When are we going to have that conversation???. This is exactly why women, children and babies are still being raped, victimized, and kidnapped for murder and sex. Because we permit it. We condone these things everytime we run from these topics. Darkness can only rule, as long as, there is NO LIGHT! HOW ARE WE PRETENDING WHAT IS HAPPENING??? we will not be protecting the children until we have these conversations and acceptance of the reality that exist. Otherwise, we are selling our own up the river. We make each other the next bait. We can reverse this slave mentality but not by denying it's real and pretending its not like that. We are teaching our babies this behavior! Thanks for the adult real talk Sista.
So Sad. Our People are wicked from all four corners of the Earth. Yah forbid. I pray this will change. I know that it will only be changed by The Most High. When will it be enough.
You know the truth, too about African/Black wickedness from North/South East/West. I work with young people and have trained thousands of them to be better human beings!
What is this lady's name?- I like what she said about the spirituality of sex- soul ties that are HARD to break- "TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL THY MIGHT AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING" I wish I knew these things as a young person- your soul is precious- Guard and keep it!!!!!
That's not true, i have men friends in Ghana although you are right about them taking care of the family however, they do ask their women for help when needed.
I disagree with her when she said Nigerian men don't ask their women for money, that is not correct in fact its a practice here in Nigeria. The only ones who don't ask their women for money are the rich. She's also not correct when she said Ghanaian men live off their women, there could be few exceptions. And how is she sure it's not her Nigerian brother who tricked her. There are a lot of them masquerading as Ghanaians just to scam foreigners.
Ghanaian hate! We are not going around begging these people to come to us or come to our country. We mind our business, focus on our money, and all women from every black group are coming to us on their own. Aren't you guys tired of the hate? Can't y'all see its not going anywhere? The more you hate, the more we win. We are the richest and the most influential black group. We have the most billionaires amongst all black groups in the world. Can't you guys see? You should give up!
Honestly every situation is different. Giving advice on how to not get scammed is good. But this discussion I am not in agreement with what you all are advocating. Being a player and agreeing with some doing that is not ok. This is the problem I have with the values and morals so prevalent in the culture in the states. This Baller mentality. And you both are encouraging it.
Unfortunately, she is trying to save lives here. A lot of elder AA women are traveling to West Africa for husbands, only to end up with poor men who are already married or end up using them for a green card
unfortunately this sister is generalization is of what happens with the unconscious community on both sides. I know plenty of successful african and african american marriages..it comes down to values and the knowledge that gives both sides the common grounds of agreements....
Excellent uncomfortable conversation-especially regarding cultural differences and trauma bonding. Women and men must learn to understand the unseen things within. Kudos!
I don't get it....these AA women wouldn't give 20k to men in America why let your guard down in Africa? You know that a man telling you he loves you too soon in America is a game, why wouldn't you know that's a game in Africa 🤷🏿♀️
From experience, I was thinking of spending but the Most High snapped me out of it before it got that fat. I will say you are right except you have to have dealt with it to know why. From my experience, African men are completely different when it comes to that honey dripping tongue. They put a spell on you for real. Tell you things and speak to you nothing like American men.
This interview will make sense vice versa...Some Africans are trapped by marrying Americans and Europeans who went and never mind them... Some of them also made it to America and Europe with their partners and still together with beautiful family... My friend met America woman here in Ghana,Few yrs after he joined her... He work hard to take care of her because she was studying law...It wasn't an issue taken care of her because he feel like a man then plus she also did same when difficulties in Ghana...Long story short she's making more and started showing her bossy American side to the point the she kick him out and keeping him away from seeing his son which she knows taken a child from African men could break them down...All her family could say to my friend they're sorry but it their daughter so they will choose her first... I know alot of Ghanaians who have good and healthy relationships with some Americans and a lot of innocent Ghanaians who never expected to go through whatever they're going through...So Jay should also look for some of the guys and will tell u the stinking treatment of some foreigners... She need to explore more in Ghana because there alot of ignorance and errors in her speech...How much is your dollars in those rich guys?They don't even value "Americans" You probably found yourself wrong place at the wrong time and generalizing it all...
Where is the commitment to Yahweh? Does this simply not exist in relationships today? People are putting sex/money above Yah's law/family values, then when there's a problem you want to run to Him to fix it, we'll guess what "the fix" most times results in divorce😢
It is shocking how lopsided this is.What is going on is very simple.Men and women are classified as marriage material and non-marriage material in Africa because generally speaking,this is a relatively conservative society.Consequently,as a woman seeking love,if you come across by your behaviour and attitude as sexually loose or as unsubmissive,nearly every African man,his family or both will eventually change their mind about you.I wonder how many African American women this happened to?Hopefully not many but it does happen to local African women AND men too,for the reasons stated.So,better be a little conservative at first,do not put money forward as bait,be helpful financially in small ways if needed but do not go too far until the relationship is solid and you know each other well.That said,there are always people ready to scam others in every society and it is true that some will perceive such women as a way out.Talk to other Africans you are not dating to understand how things work in the different African countries where cultures are not identical either.
You can get played regardless of the man's nationality. Just use your discernment, ladies.
In any part of the world, a man asking for money or about money is weak, sinister and very unmanly, period.
This was heart breaking to listen too. we don't value each other as black people. All I hear is fear and no accountably this is sad.
Terrible
Won't be surprised if black people start selling each other in the future again... like they did during slavery. Black men better watch. Our patience is growing thin.
Black women in the west caused it. Sad but true!
It's extremely sad
Not all African man are scammers , some of us would badly appreciate a sister from abroad looking for someone to love.
Never met an African man who has not been terrible
@@shomifochap3 This shows that you are meeting African men at the wrong places.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 yeah right EVERY AFRICAN i have met is a scammer
@@evablessp23facts
I have found African to be very kind and loving
PSA: Do not be thirsty. Just enjoy your time in African countries and don't be in a rush.
💯
Truth sister, you are on point. I’m from Ghana living in the states. You need to write a book. The real African man will never ask a woman for money.
I might add, a 'real man' period would not ask a woman for money.
My father told me never reach in your purse to give a man anything he meant it🌻
After dating an African man I can honestly say I have no interest in dating anyone who is not African. Yes, our culture is slightly different but, I find Africans as a whole are more loving, supportive, family-oriented, and financially savvy.
And for the reason is why I am willing to give an African man another chance. I unfortunately married an African male (Nigerian) that had more learning and growing up to do. I know that not all are immature so I am opened to dating African men again.
They are the same.............😢
I love how this channel does not Romanticize Africa. Keeps it all the way 💯
One of the best interviews I’ve seen. It’s salacious and controversial yet authentic in every way possible. We need more transparent exchanges like this. 👏🏾👏🏾
I'm sixty three years old and as far back as I can remember "Running Game" was an equal opportunity activity played by both sex's male & female.
I’m married to a Ghanaian man. Meet in the US but was introduced through my good friend when I studied abroad in Ghana. He’s the provider. Community is huge for relationship to flourish especially when they only have rapport w/ you. Introduction to friends and family is pivotal. Having community is huge. Knowing the culture is so important. I have never paid prior in any relationship with any Ghanaian man while in Ghana. Anytime in a man’s presence in Ghana I never paid but I adopted tenants of their culture and was accepted as one of them. But cut your clothes according to your cloth. Every man cannot provide in Ghana’s economy. Know quality people to introduce you to quality men that may yield better results. It does suck when people get played. Nice guys are there but go to quality places to meet quality men.
You have said it all
please school our AA women how to do it
This conversation is overly simplified.
There are all types of men: the well educated, the not so well educated, the hustlers etc.
What you are describing here fits the hustlers category.
You see the same oversimplification and lack of accountability here. The problem is always out there.
They looking for a way out! Thank you sis for letting us know the games some of these men in Africa playing 😳🤭😲🤬
Then find a man that’s well of in Africa that doesn’t need financial support. There is plenty of them.
I experienced the same thing when I went to Ghana. I’ve traveled all over the world and I’ve never met a man who was more eager to get married and fall in love the first time meeting me more than Ghanaian men. At first I was like awwww Ghana men are so loving then I realized it’s just game 🙄
Please don't generalized . Even in the America women are played
@@leosismenz347 I am American. So yea…
The fact that a man tells you about marriage does not mean that he is a player.
They love you and want to get married in less than a week.!!😂😂😂 They run into the wrong one with me. I didn't move to Ghana for a man so it's easy for me to pass them by.
Not only African women do not take stuff, it sounds like you and these AA women are weak women.Its no way I'll give any man that kind of money unless we have helped each other also know each other for some time and have a mutual understand.
Always have respect for urself no matter ur age!!!
Desperation at any age can cost u!
Before you say African men are like this and that, let's put things into context. If you met a Russian who was a jerk would you go around saying all European men are assholes? It's not about culture, it's about your ability to decipher between a playa and someone genuine.
They take zero accountability.
In this world Representation is everything, if we want to take Credit for the good things of a race ,we must also take credit for the bad
Lol I agree but we as a people have to stop playing because it’s not funny anymore the time for playing games is over, we have to be unapologetically intentional if we as a people are going to win the war against our open enemies and we shouldn’t be enemies but our own best friends because when I look around the world Black people are the most exploited especially the African American we are the wind beneath Americas wings and are highly disrespected even by those who themselves are being disrespected by the same system so how do they justify their displaced anger, blame Black Americans, when America wants to justify what’s wrong in America to the whole world including Mother Africa blame Black Americans, enslaved Africans build this American Dream off our nightmare and people will kill themselves to get to America and Blacks get it, it’s just that when working hard in America and having to work four jobs to take care of self and families back home and can’t tell nobody the difficulties need someone to blame, black Americans for sure, we just don’t get it so sad, stay encouraged ❤️
Exactly! I hate when people generalize like that.
@@kiriende3691
Let's remember that the lady in this video is Nigerian...so, when you say "they"....Just keep that in mind.
Don’t go into relationship in Ghana without learning the culture, and even some of the tribes in Ghana don’t even allow you to marry from different tribe.
It depends
Me think this applys mainly in West Africa although afew are changing well travelled ones.
I don't want to be harsh but she sounds immature. Yes, men don't lean on women financially, but everybody operates according to a certain "class". So if you are an African-American woman looking for a man, then you have to go for a man in Ghana, Nigeria or what have you, that is of a certain stature - but you have to be the type of woman such men (e.g., professional or business men) would go for. Does your demeanor match such a person? That is the question. But if you meet someone in Africa who's far less advantaged, of course he'll lean on you financially.
This is the "them Africans" smear and it is what Jay has been preaching against all this time. So I'm wondering why he keeps nodding his head in approval. Her experience is her experience but it doesn't extrapolate to all Africans. It is strange how those who just discovered Africa think they are experts on Africa and its people. This is exactly what the European explorers, the Vasco da Gamas did. They arrived in Africa, saw all the resources, made the most of them. They named present Ghana the coast of Gold. The people however were only seen as savages worthy to be enslaved.
that's not being harsh, she's ignorant, shallow minded and got the type men that fit her social class. she's only talking without any substance. I won't choose a girl with this mindset and attitude.
b so well said! I just couldnt believe that Jay found her "fascinating" or even at the least, interesting enough, to bring her to the world! This was so beneath him, and just made me so sad for her! I couldnt understand anything she was saying or doing up there!!! Ugh!!🤦♀️
But she just explaining truth tho
@@ladreacoleman2230 what????
I'm a black American on the continent with my husband and we are balling. Living our best lives. We are living lux. And, despite the obstacles and bs in America we did well their too. Cashed out and hit the continent not looking back. Teamwork makes the dream work. He is an alpha man among other men. We are not bowing down to anyone but Yah.
My bf is Hebrew Israelite. I'm thinking you are too you say Yah. And was watching this and hope I'm not being played. I refuse to give him any money.
@@sexymesha44 I'm Hebrew and it is Hebrew or Israelite. No such thing as a Hebrew Israelite. But yes I know who I am and walk in His power. I am not trying to block my blessings after He brought me ought of captivity, Babylon. I serve Yah, why I said not bowing down to any man or woman. That's why so many of us are struggling on the continent. You do not adapt anyone else's culture or try to blend in. And blending in is dangerous throws you under whatever you are trying to blend into, another subjugation.
@@hybridinfodesk409 Oh okay... In Genesis it says he love Israel we are Israel. And we spoke Hebrew. That's why we say Hebrew Israelite.
@@sexymesha44 Yes, Yah refers to us as Hebrews as well. It is our language and identities.
Must be nice mine chasing women .
Women from USA , UK going around with a placard saying "I am desperate" is very appealing to a man from a developing country looking for a get out clause. Common in the Caribbean, could tell you a few stories. 🇯🇲 men are lining up with their honey coated tongues😂😂😂😂. You see it on the streets and these women are flattered by all the attention. Sorry sisters but the stereotype is that you are desperate and not bothered about standards? They think it's love and age doesn't appear to matter. The reverse also happens, you know, those men on their last leg who want to prove to the world that they've still got what it takes?
Raw truth
And nothing but the truth!
Welp that’s their business
Our own men are currently helping to tear down.
You notice, ghetto type women stay down and produce ghetto children of poverty; but women of essence are mature minded and strategize to make their money work for them with integrity. Have integrity!!!!!
What are "ghetto type" women?
The ghetto is a place not a type of Woman ………. All things have an essence …..
Maintain your integrity indeed however life is relative perspective ✨⚖️
Asè
You aren't making sense.
Not happy with the generalization coz its sounds like you think love is a scam in Africa... meeting the family is a very serious occasion.... you met a player, but we are not all like that.
I'm embarrassed as an AA.
Thank you. I was so turned off and mad he let her talk for 50 minutes make me wanted to unsubscribe.
@@kiriende3691 If you're embarrassed to be an AA, that's on you. She didn't say anything wrong. She's simply speaking from the perspective.
@@serene1275 She's sharing *her* experience in Ghana. I've also met/watched/know AA and Africans from the diaspora who have dated/married their partners from Africa *in Africa* (Ghana) and have thriving, beautiful relationships/marriages/families.
She is sharing her experiences and what other AA women shared. No lies were told. I heard the same from my friends and family that visited various African countries. She also made sure to add “not all.” So where’s the lie?
Yes, this sounds very similar to the "love hustle" in Jamaica too!
Oh my!
We call dem rent a dread lol
@@inezfinley yup!
Toni Morrison is still the poster girl for the Jamaican love hustle
Excellent and much needed conversation. Many thanks Jay.
How ignorant can we be as a people, that as soon as a man u dont know well, from a culture u have no idea about at all, and u are in love! THIS IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CULTURE, BEEN BROUGHT UP AND RAISED DIFFERENTLY, UNDERSTAND LIFE COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY, AND DEFINITELY UNDERDTAND THE WORD "LOVE" EVER SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY! So who taught anyone AAs especially, that every man from any culture, understands what u need as an American, and what u understand, or what u mean??!! U dont even understand their language, even if they speak English!! For God's sake, learn the culture first, make a very learned effort to understand what they mean, ask real pertinent questions to understand what Love means to a Ghanaian/Nigerian, no matter what they tell u as a man, pat attention, and please be mature about this whole thing!! Every man in every culture has their own enderstsndaning of love, and what they know and have been taught about what a relationship should be,,so why dont u just make an effort to learn! Most men in developing countries are just looking for an escape, Everyone should know that at the back of their minds...then let him PROVE U WRONG! Simple! Then u save yourself all these stories of heartbreak and puppy love ish! One thing I need to stress to AAs, and this from a Ghanaian sister born and raised! Now listen: English is not our first language, and most of our english speaking/words, come from simple literal translation of local languages into ENGLISH, that's why u would here them use the words "I LOVE U" the first minute they meet u! They dont mean the American English or British English, or I LOVE U! NO NO NO!! I've been trying to explain this to AA sisters till nauseum!! Uugh! Pay attention to the English they are speaking! They are translating words from local languages into English, and some of these words are not even translatable into English! Ask exactly what they mean, and have them explain several ways! In GA and Twi, we say I love u, instead of, "I'm attracted to u", or "I find u attractive!" But our local languages dont have the word ATTRACTED to u, directly like that. Also, they didnt used to say "I like u" to a woman, becos they were put together young, and unions were arranged, and so on...no long engagements, etc..so they judt throw around the words I love u, to mean I'm attracted to u! So please try to learn the culture, b4 u start expecting anything! Always note: DIFFERENT CULTURES, UNDERSTAND LIFE AND EXPECT DIFFERENTLY!! NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE HAVE IN COMMON BY BLOOD AND BY PHYSICAL FEATURES, U ARE STILL A "FOREIGNER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY!" Why would u expect the men there, to understand and behave like a brother in the states?! Why? Why? Why? This convo is so immature!! Mic drop! Why dint we know this simple concept!
I agree with you and black Americans are very different culturally to Africans this is why I understand that Africans will see them as foreigners and they should try not to get offended by being called that.
What's immature about it..That's what their trying to explain if you would listen everybody don't know..That's why the conversation is interesting and to spread awareness to others especially African Americans...
true
This conversation isn't immature but your mindset. You assumed that everyone should know what this video explained, but some don't.
@@changestartsnow5116Exactly. This was a very good conversation and I'm glad she cleared up 'I love you' cause I damn sure didn't know that 😂.
I loved this conversation so much! Thank you both for sharing your perspectives, life lessons, and experiences with us. ☺
I am Glad you explained the SPIRITUAL RAMIFICATIONS of doing this.
At this stage in my life, I recognize that AA men and women have their own culture and when it comes to dating and marriage (although not perfect) there are things we have in common that don't get lost in translation. In my heart I think African men are wonderful, but culturally speaking, they would probably find me off-putting and I would likely feel the same about them when it's comes to certain gender expectations. Living here in the States under such oppressive conditions has caused both AA men and women to interact outside of their nature for survival reasons. I don't expect African men to understand this, and I have no example of a "submissive" gender role that I can leverage. All the women in my life have been powerful people who fought for their families and communities. They took leading roles and spoke up whenever they or others were victims of abuse and injustice. Any AA woman going to Africa looking for love needs to level set her own expectations and have an honest conversation about who SHE is culturally and the impact it may have on her relationship with an African man.
No other group of men are going to tolerate being disrespected. That's uniquely AA.
@@kiriende3691 interesting 🤔 Why do you think that is the case?
Interesting... I'm African but have lived in the US from a fairly young age. I find myself not here nor there as to whether to date African or an African American. It just depends on the woman for me. There are things from both sides that I like and some I despise. I can say for sure that some Africans and African Americans can date if they can meet in the middle. I find that people who have less of a hood mentality and less of a village mentality tend to get along fairly well.
But if you want to see how the world ends, put a strong ghetto and a strong bush personality in one room!! They'll argue about everything, even breathing.
@@daniells71 Hahaha Hahahaha!(laughter for the last line above☝️) So well said bro!
@@daniells71 l have an iuess with the description of the word 'Village' ...is more of the personality of an cultured African....coming from a village maybe a simpleton but they're VERY RESPECTFUL DUTIFUL and very helpful people then most cities folks..
It's no wonder why as black people are so down trodden by all other races When we can't just work together as couples with a spiritual bond knowing what our ancestors went through just for us to be speaking like this now so sad
How long had this women lived and studied the culture in Ghana, sitting there generalising...your attitude and behaviour, will put the families off and believe me if the family don't like what they see, they will tell their child not to marry you....Full stop.
Black American women it is not advisable going to Africa to get a man. They're in your bank account and their papers you are their passport to America. You can get involved with the African men already in America and you can run security check. You don't lower your standards you want someone to your level. You have to see what he is bringing to the table you don't bring the whole darn table
Good luck with your search for true love.
Most ghanians are richer than black americans
That's the problem Sisters go there with their money and Yoni thinking they can rule Brothers because they think they are about to rule a broke guy (something they can't do in America) and what ends up happening is some of the Brother on the Mother Continent already knows the game and plays along, where AA guys don't care if you have a little money, acting as AA guys are less than you won't fly.
@@iykejnr6296 that's a good damn lie
Most of the men are taken in Africa. We usually marry young.
Never provide or give to any African men. The way they treat African women is the way they should treat u.
Facts! If he is the protector and provider for the women in his family,but, will let you work 40-50 hours a week to pay for all or most things then he is not an asset. Cut that dude! There is no way your husband should be the protector and provider for his Mom, sister’s, nieces, sister in laws ,but, not his wife. Make it make sense because I see too much of this. She will never be soft and “submissive “ if she is in fact the head of the household.
Very true
@@Nomadicveggurl If she doesn't want to pay bills, then she shouldn't be working 40-50 hours per week. Anyone working that much needs to be investing that money into their family.
40 hours is the standard and if he is not being the provider then she has no choice,but, to work. Too many women are carrying the bulk of the financial load thus she is actually the head of the household. If she works 40-50 hours per week and pays the majority of the expenses while he supports his sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews then he is providing for them not her. How is he going to make life soft for his family,but, not his own wife? Do you know how many women are paying every thing and giving him money for his family? This is a tell tale sign of him being a hustler. Run! You don’t need a man that bad! Most African men are taught to be protectors and providers so if he is actually okay with his woman taking on that role then I have to question his integrity. Most cultures throughout Africa are patriarchal so this goes against everything that he has been taught. May I add that according to Islam her money is her money because her husband is expected to provide so if you are out here married to or dating any of these guys who identify as Muslim and you are financially providing for him and his family then something is already wrong with that picture.
@@Nomadicveggurl women weren't forced to work until they chose to work, precisely so that they WOULDN'T need to depend on a man. They wanted it this way and went about social engineering to bring it to fruition. There's no going back. But now they're trying to get back under a man's wing while STILL working? That doesn't make sense. Workers are providers. That's how its always been and probably how it always will be. When an American woman goes to Africa, with an American salary, she's most likely gonna be the breadwinner, and breadwinners put bread on the table. African men were more RAISED to be providers than they were TAUGHT to be providers, bc it's naturally how the male/female dynamic played out over the centuries. That dynamic largely remains in Africa. American women tampered with that dynamic in America, and as a result, the incompatibility of their nature (a desire to be provided for) and their nurture (a desire to work and be able to provide for themselves) developed and it follows them, no matter where they go.
Hey Jay, l think it's unfortunate the Lady didn't meet the right Ghanaian. There are good people out there in Ghana who will love you the way you are and not because they want to go to America
sometimes when u find one good geniune guy (in a million) than the parents won t like you. Lady's especially if u have children it even gets harder although slowly slowly changing though not much, ND if u r older than the guy most times u will be used than dumped.
As a woman thats never been to Ghana and wants to go, this convo wont deter me but pls understand there is validity in her advice. AA women specifically come to Africa very naive and ignorant. They need to understand that they can easily be marks for preditory men...same thing happens in Dominican republic, they love bomb you for a means of survival. It is silly to be offended bcuz there are women getting played and cheated everyday while u type ut comments.
African men also get played by AA women in America
I am living proof that you are correct. We got married but he also had a wife in the UK. The lady in the UK called me to introduce herself. He also had a wife in Ghana with about 6 kids i was hanging out with her the whole time I didn't have a clue, she was at the wedding directing everyone as to keep on task and schedule. Two years later his wife in the UK called me I was shocked. It's 8 years later and UK and I are Sisters. We are grateful to him. We both left him i had him jailed and running scared he up and moved leaving a high balance i was out about 15 Thousand. I got some money back. I am grateful to him I found a lifetime friend.
It happened to me. I live in the UK, he arrived here from Ghana. The entire family were in on the scheme. A lot of them are very untrustworthy, they are very crafty.
My Nigerian ex is very sneaky and secretive.
That Woman Said, She Was Nigerian, And Sound Like It.She Is NOT AFRICAN AMERICAN.
Not african american rather black american. Most of us aren't african
She is generalizing all African men. Girl bye!!
I agree, great discussion on relationships,. Thanks Jay for sharing
What?? Are u serious?! Oh God, what is happening to us as a people if this was any info at all.
Ladies let me tell you men love to chase. You let him pursue you. You don't pull no money out of your pocket for nothing. If you ask you out, That means he's going to pay. Don't take your purse with you. Or did you eat and he came he ain't got no money you pay for yours and you'll be his ass sitting right there. We're not that dumb or desperate. Stop it!
But always remember to stash some small change in your bra so when the man runs away and leave you to pay the bill, you can hustle your way out through your small change hidden in your bra.
I can honestly say that I did not move to Ghana for a man. I moved here for peace and safety. A lot of Ghanaian men have approached me but I don't pay them no mind. I get on my motorbike and ride wherever I want. The men here say that my bike is my husband. That is true.
I enjoyed this conversation- it was VERY informative.
Who has facts on the percentage of African American women eho went to Ghana and got played? I would expect that to be a very small minority. A great majority of AA women have never been to Africa.
Getting played is a universal game that men and women play all over the world. Although it happens to some desperate and foolish dreamers who let their guards down, AA women, overall, have not earned that stereotype.
I knew that a guy saying he loves me meant nothing! I know when a man asks me for money it is a red flag!
The thing is game Recognize game, therefore the African-American woman ends up getting played, by thinking the African man is naïve
Point blank and to the period. Africans will run that game of being naïve when the other person is really the one who’s naïve. Take off the rose colored glasses people and don’t get played. You don’t understand the language, you don’t know the culture, you in those African streets seeing how stuff really goes down, which has been going down for centuries! I’m an AA woman who’s ancestors were enslaved Africans, I’ve been becoming educated/putting the pieces together on just what happened, how did millions of millions of Africans were sold into slavery, MILLIONS, BECAUSE IT WAS A BUSINESS AND IT WAS SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE OTHER AFRICANS WERE THE CATALYST AND THE CAME AND TOOK OVER THE CONTINENT. Africa have some cleaning up to do. Black people in general.
Listen to this young woman. She’s speaking the truth. Yes there are a few true love stories but the majority of people get played. This doesn’t just happen in Africa but a lot of developing countries. The reality if you have an American or European passport many view as the golden tixx. You might not agree with the delivery but she’s speaking the truth. I thoroughly enjoyed this session.
What a conversation! A conversation that needs to be had. Young lady put you down with the game, take off the rose colored glasses ladies, young and old listen and take heed. That’s all I’m saying. 👍🏾💞
Thats their character. They do the same with Ghanaian women too. Only white women get truly married and respected by African men
I'm 1/3 into the video and why do women here and there are still acting immature! Let us both, men and women, learn to grow up and throw away childish things and build true community. We are acting like reprobates. That's how slave trappers came in and destroyed us. Stop it!!!!
You said exactly what I was thinking!
@@jus1nita same here!
These women from the states are paying for the tally wacker. Bottom line!!! They talk about us men is the state’s but, they go over to Ghana and get played. I’m a Merchant Seamen and I see this all the time. It’s hilarious. I don’t feel sorry for any of them.
It goes both ways... These "men" (I say that losely) talk that trash about US women (similar to what you're attempting to do in your comment) and when they go elsewhere to "find love" they end up getting played and humiliated....That's just how the cookie crumbles lol 😉😘
@@INGEN_Dahnie-el-aha-ha 😂😂Good Night
@@Sijuwade Night night 😘
wow, this is pure education.
Traumatic bonds,wow
Insightful
Enlightening
Generational trauma...word
Kudos.
Bless up.
Watching from Sydney Australia
Very good conversation. I enjoyed it. Shared a lot of "Unpopular Opinions".
How about you just go to school rather than "doing what you supposed to do'"... rather than this hypersexualized narrative, that's definitely not going to get you a proper man in Ghana, Nigeria etc.
Nigeria is not like Ghana pls
@@yesohyes9198 Agreed, Ghana is not like Nigeria.
@@immaculate2197 Your tribe might not others will. Nigeria is ver diverse
@@immaculate2197 Just speak for your self majority of Nigeria are very open minded and are marrying outsider, but some who are stock in one place 🤔
@@yesohyes9198 apuuu
This is the same sad attitude some of these women display everywhere they go, I am a Nigerian just because your relationship with one Ghanaian didn't workout doesn't mean you should generalized every Ghanaian men. This American attitude will not work here in Africa.
I'm in America and I agree with you. 💯 Blessings 💜
Well people should be who they are. Both cultures need to accept the other culture or date their own.
Focus on your career, money and skills. Use protection pharma and condom, LIMITED your partners. Look at men from all over the world; not just one type, one look.
Wow the generalization is so wrong .
People need to get out of their feelings. She is simply speaking from her perspective as a young twenty something year old woman living in Accra.
More like 40 something
Nobody is in their feelings, they can just smell the Similac in the convo.
She really taught you well, Jay!
This whole interview lacked substance due to the high level of immaturity! I highly see why the relationship didn’t work because it was based purely on an immature “yoni” mindset that believes that’s all it takes to secure a man!
It’s why everyone needs to do the work on themselves before they seek relationships. You are who you are no matter where you go.
@@mra.4466 Riiight, because I did not see this as a Nigerian man problem, especially if the behavior displayed here in this interview was at the forefront. This could have happened with any man, in any country, culture, or tribe if the behavior was not wife material.
The lesson here is that men marry wife material and play around with those who use their “yoni” to attract men. Sadly, she hasn’t learned that while you can attract with it, he’ll use it and play with it for as long as it’s available, but it does not keep him.
From her narration is like there is no exception to this love entanglement. Guys, she never provider any positive to this and she goes ahead with the idea all Ghanaian men like money which is absolutely ridiculous. Jay seems to allow her to speak and not question her role of which kind of man she meet and where she meet them at. Thanks for your take, i believe she should be balanced with her story, and not what she has been told by others.
Hahaha…this is hilarious but insightful at the same time.
Follow your intuitions. And becarful with giving them money because as she said they will continue to ask until your left with nothing.
STOP SAYING AFRICAN MEN!!! Ghanaian men maybe but other nationalities ain't really checking for African American women like that - NO DISRESPECT. Most African men want a traditional woman, AAs women are not traditional. African men are providers and they don't give a damn about a woman's finances
Some Ghanaian men maybe. And it is like this in every country
It's not exactly like that. The one you was mess with is just an asshole....these kind of guy are less than 3%. I'm Ghanaian and I live in delaware(USA). My wife is african American, and I tell my wife not to work. She's a stay at home wife and we have 2 kids. I make very good money. And I take care of everything in my household. My wife have her weekly money. That's how really african does.
Exactly what my friends who left Ghana does...They take all or most of the responsibilities and never joke with their kids...I feel proud of them how they manage and grind hard for their families as an African immigrants
Stop lying. Many men in Ghana are hustlers and players. Don't be fooled ladies. Be wise.
You are every women's dream.
There is no hope for us. I'm done with dating period.
This is good! Thank you for educating us!!❤
She says she is Nigerian and has dated a Ghanaian man but she keeps African men. Who is African men
I am Zimbabwean, how does this have anything to do with me. I also know plenty female relatives who have been primary breadwinners. Stop stereotyping.
If white people say African American men are things or African American women leech the social welfare system we would protest such stereotyping. Africa is a continent, be specific because you are just going to end up antagonizing a lot of Africans.
Any man that asks a woman for money is a nothing. Why would you as a woman give a man money. That is a No, No, No. Whether it's in America or Africa. Do not ever give a man money.
i understand her completely. thumbs up for being knowledgeable.
As a AA woman I can't fully agree, we have experienced just as much with AA men, I believe it's individual. So you are saying every AA woman that come to Ghana get played by every A man. Ok so you clarified not every A man play you. However, this is just generalization: So you said Ghanaian women don't go for what AA woman go for, also you said Ghanaian women know their husbands have other women. I agree with a lot of the comments no disrespect but the conversation sounds immature!
She may have over simplified it, but she's not wrong. The grass is not greener on the other side. The problem is African women don't talk about their experiences with African men. A lot of these women are suffering. You have to be smart when dealing with any man. AA and AFRICAN women are played in America for green cards.
She's not lying. Plenty of AA that traveled to Ghana or any other West African within the past 5 or 6 years had to file for divorce from their spouse due to green card fraud. It happened to a couple of my friends.
I’ve never had a man that didn’t want to provide for me . Maybe bc I’m beautiful and provide for myself .
The Nigerian men I’ve dealt with are not spenders.
Keep it real. Our brothers in America make it either in music, sports or business and end up getting played by caucasians. That is what we should be talking about beco's we loosing millions and in some cases billions.
These rules apply everywhere. I never loaned money to boyfriends.
I DEFINITLY would LOVE to sit with this young lady speaking with Jay and Jay as well and give them the UNCUT TRUTH surrounding this ENTIRE conversation. I am born and raised in the United States hailing from the Washington D.C. Metro area. Have dated seriously 2 men from the Motherland and 2 different Countries when I was very young and the other when I got older and know plenty of women and men from the Motherland. Looonnng story short?? Ain't nobody going for that foolishness in (America) North America, Africa, Asia, Europe or any other CONTINENT. I don't care what culture, swag, game, treachery they may think they going to run on some women. It ain't happening and I would love to sit down with "both" of you and teach you about "WHY?" I am soooo firm in my stance. I"m here for the conversation anytime to include the "hard conversations" beloveds. I am a former Radio Host as well. The name of the broadcast: "Settling The Matter Radio Broadcast" hour. No matter what the topic... #SpirituallySolid #WisdomSolid #FoundationSolid ~KingDOMGrace Sugah*s~
This is a good one. I wish it was not controversial because I really think it’s basic knowledge. I’m thankful that a lot of these were things my church, my mother and father taught me.
Portia husband got caught scamming.....please, thats not winning
Shamea next
The game/ scam is the same everywhere.
You young people need to get wisdom from your elders as a mature Black women I could have told you how Black women get exploited by Black men from the Caribbean and Africa this has been going on for years it even happens to women from other races and why is any woman giving men money my Daddy told me never give any man money for ANY reason!
It really is important to as a rule not give money. It can encourage the wrong dynamic in a relationship, and also create resentment, it lowers a man's self-esteem.
How can they advice from elder black women when the majority of the women traveling to West Africa for husbands are over 40 years old
She is going to tell his mother. He will be in trouble. Hahaha!!!
She speak without substance they are around another
So AA women come over to Africa to trick off on young Kofi and Kwesi. Got it.🤣🤣🤣
This whole episode was hilarious, she’s too much 🤣🤣
@@afrikanrepatJust like the passport brothers tricking off on Ling Ling.
Thank you 😊 💓
Child...I love, love, love when these backdoors get opened. And these old closets full of ghost get revealed. Dark place gets some light flashed on it.
And when adults can be real talk and candid crystals of the "What it is"..
I adamantly hate pretense. Agree or not, folk are just not down with acceptance...at all. We don't have to be about certain behaviors and condoning, but...we do need to know, recognize and realize these things exist in our family ties, in outside connectedness, and partnerships. And the reason is because we are accustomed to sweeping dirt under a rug. Prepare dark closets to store dirty, grimy, criminalized behavior we just don't want to deal with.
In all honesty, we the Americanized-Blacks , Africans, Afro whoever, have had our sexuality demonized. And look who puts the bloody judgment finger on us? We are seeing ourselves through the colonizers and slave-master eyes, once again as the filth and devalued people. We have internalized it.
And the thing is, we are by hiding it, hiding behind it, etc. are the very same unknowing perpetrators who keeps this cycle going.
Is it the sweet, tantalizing little innocent idealism that we have been tainted to believe, is the Victorian virtuous woman or man ideal to look up too. To emulate or pretend we are outwardly someone or something we are not, whilst harboring all these un-vindicated demons, evil spirit's and imagined mental mindedness health issues.
We cannot heal or begin to be healthy, ducking and dodging bombs, and bullets all the time, by denying the truths that we are inundated with daily. Whether it be in our own lives, children's lives, marriages, or schools, work, and coaching events.
We are the reason we cannot go forward personally and as a culture, Nation or a people.
How the heck do we talk about united Africa and "Pan-Africanism, when we can't, won't, don't want to, get oneself healed on a personal level. Folk more afraid of appearing evil outwardly than being evil within and living in it.
All that is truly being promoted and upheld is pretense and insanity. When are we going to have that conversation???.
This is exactly why women, children and babies are still being raped, victimized, and kidnapped for murder and sex. Because we permit it. We condone these things everytime we run from these topics.
Darkness can only rule, as long as, there is NO LIGHT!
HOW ARE WE PRETENDING WHAT IS HAPPENING???
we will not be protecting the children until we have these conversations and acceptance of the reality that exist. Otherwise, we are selling our own up the river. We make each other the next bait.
We can reverse this slave mentality but not by denying it's real and pretending its not like that. We are teaching our babies this behavior!
Thanks for the adult real talk Sista.
She shed so much light on so many areas of our conciseness. Your response added to the conversation. Thank you for sharing.
I wonder what have me not feeling sympathetic?
Sis speaking facts I been to Ghana too December and going back too October
So Sad. Our People are wicked from all four corners of the Earth. Yah forbid. I pray this will change. I know that it will only be changed by The Most High. When will it be enough.
You know the truth, too about African/Black wickedness from North/South East/West. I work with young people and have trained thousands of them to be better human beings!
What is this lady's name?- I like what she said about the spirituality of sex- soul ties that are HARD to break- "TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL THY MIGHT AND LEAN NOT TO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING" I wish I knew these things as a young person- your soul is precious- Guard and keep it!!!!!
They haven't seen East African men especially Kenyans 😂😂😂the immaturity in this lady is visible and Kenyan men would make her never date again 😂
wow scary
Have too much respect for Jay… but this video I don’t know.
She is so wrong, all men are not the same anywhere, it's her choice of men, that's the problem.
That's not true, i have men friends in Ghana although you are right about them taking care of the family however, they do ask their women for help when needed.
I disagree with her when she said Nigerian men don't ask their women for money, that is not correct in fact its a practice here in Nigeria. The only ones who don't ask their women for money are the rich. She's also not correct when she said Ghanaian men live off their women, there could be few exceptions. And how is she sure it's not her Nigerian brother who tricked her. There are a lot of them masquerading as Ghanaians just to scam foreigners.
Ghanaian hate! We are not going around begging these people to come to us or come to our country. We mind our business, focus on our money, and all women from every black group are coming to us on their own. Aren't you guys tired of the hate? Can't y'all see its not going anywhere? The more you hate, the more we win. We are the richest and the most influential black group. We have the most billionaires amongst all black groups in the world. Can't you guys see? You should give up!
The same way AA women also play African men in The US .
Honestly every situation is different. Giving advice on how to not get scammed is good. But this discussion I am not in agreement with what you all are advocating. Being a player and agreeing with some doing that is not ok. This is the problem I have with the values and morals so prevalent in the culture in the states. This Baller mentality. And you both are encouraging it.
Unfortunately, she is trying to save lives here. A lot of elder AA women are traveling to West Africa for husbands, only to end up with poor men who are already married or end up using them for a green card
unfortunately this sister is generalization is of what happens with the unconscious community on both sides. I know plenty of successful african and african american marriages..it comes down to values and the knowledge that gives both sides the common grounds of agreements....
Just because you know a couple doesn't mean she's lying. Statistics show these marriages don't last long once the guy gets his green card.
Were talking about the majority here not the small percentage of people you know
They use white women too. But a lot of AA women refuse to take advice from others and when someone tries to offer advice yall are quick to shame them
Excellent uncomfortable conversation-especially regarding cultural differences and trauma bonding. Women and men must learn to understand the unseen things within. Kudos!
I don't get it....these AA women wouldn't give 20k to men in America why let your guard down in Africa? You know that a man telling you he loves you too soon in America is a game, why wouldn't you know that's a game in Africa 🤷🏿♀️
Often it is signing contracts for land and property that does not belong to the seller. A big-money scam
From experience, I was thinking of spending but the Most High snapped me out of it before it got that fat. I will say you are right except you have to have dealt with it to know why. From my experience, African men are completely different when it comes to that honey dripping tongue. They put a spell on you for real. Tell you things and speak to you nothing like American men.
I'm glad you were honest@@drinabooboo
The 1st 10 mins of this video is pure truth. 100% listen to good advice.
This interview will make sense vice versa...Some Africans are trapped by marrying Americans and Europeans who went and never mind them... Some of them also made it to America and Europe with their partners and still together with beautiful family... My friend met America woman here in Ghana,Few yrs after he joined her... He work hard to take care of her because she was studying law...It wasn't an issue taken care of her because he feel like a man then plus she also did same when difficulties in Ghana...Long story short she's making more and started showing her bossy American side to the point the she kick him out and keeping him away from seeing his son which she knows taken a child from African men could break them down...All her family could say to my friend they're sorry but it their daughter so they will choose her first... I know alot of Ghanaians who have good and healthy relationships with some Americans and a lot of innocent Ghanaians who never expected to go through whatever they're going through...So Jay should also look for some of the guys and will tell u the stinking treatment of some foreigners... She need to explore more in Ghana because there alot of ignorance and errors in her speech...How much is your dollars in those rich guys?They don't even value "Americans" You probably found yourself wrong place at the wrong time and generalizing it all...
We are natural and spiritual beings.
Where is the commitment to Yahweh? Does this simply not exist in relationships today? People are putting sex/money above Yah's law/family values, then when there's a problem you want to run to Him to fix it, we'll guess what "the fix" most times results in divorce😢
I'm here for this game!
It is shocking how lopsided this is.What is going on is very simple.Men and women are classified as marriage material and non-marriage material in Africa because generally speaking,this is a relatively conservative society.Consequently,as a woman seeking love,if you come across by your behaviour and attitude as sexually loose or as unsubmissive,nearly every African man,his family or both will eventually change their mind about you.I wonder how many African American women this happened to?Hopefully not many but it does happen to local African women AND men too,for the reasons stated.So,better be a little conservative at first,do not put money forward as bait,be helpful financially in small ways if needed but do not go too far until the relationship is solid and you know each other well.That said,there are always people ready to scam others in every society and it is true that some will perceive such women as a way out.Talk to other Africans you are not dating to understand how things work in the different African countries where cultures are not identical either.
it's not easy there are many shalks out there, Let live find you us the best
First of all, if a man is asking you for money early in the game, that's all it is, game.