What Is LIMERENCE? The Link Between Unmet Childhood Needs & Romantic Obsession
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
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In today's video, Thais Gibson explains the 6 key differences between limerence and infatuation.
Watch now to find out what these differences are and what you can do if you or someone you know experiences limerence, as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Overcome Limerence and Extreme Infatuation", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:06 - What Is Limerence
00:01:35 - The 6 Key Differences Between Infatuation and Limerence
00:04:20 - What is limerence actually telling us
00:05:01 - 6 Stages of a Relationship
00:06:38 - IAT Promo
00:07:32 - What Can We Do About Limerence?
00:08:27 - Unmet Needs
00:11:14 - Traits
00:14:57 - Limerence and cheating
00:16:00 - Conclusion
00:16:20 - Course Promo: Overcoming Limerence
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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #Limerence #WhatIsLimerence #UnderstandingLimerence
Have you ever experienced limerence before? What was your experience like? ❤
It's painful if I fight it. If I accept it, it's not a terrible thing. It seems to make life more beautiful.
This is a great topic. I want to write something about this. But I have to go to a doctor's office real fast.
My whole life I have experienced limerence. It is miserable and also isnt fair on the other person.
A cringe when I realize how exactly this described me for years until I started listening to PDS. I had no clue limerence was a thing! Thank you for opening my eyes.
Awe don't be too hard on yourself, you deserve credit for learning! I'm happy you found us and are getting value from my content! 🤗
It's nothing to be ashamed of! Your brain was primed to this state & societal concepts of unrequited love in media don't help at all. It's actually normal functioning of the brain like any addiction
Proud of you!
I always imagine us touching, kissing, just being close in each other’s Company. He’s unavailable, he also enjoys Bread Crumbing, not just me but others Females as well, who are in his Sphere. I’m questioning the STORIES!!!!!!!!💕
Limerence is what brought me to PDS, so at the very least I’ll be always forever grateful for that 😂. Still going with the trait integration, which in my case was even bigger than the needs part. Not easy work, but it’s just very pertinent feedback at the end of the day. The funniest thing is that isn’t really about the person that we are in limerence with, even when it’s so easy to be so externally focused on them, and thus believing that it’s about them. But no. Good luck to everyone going through that, as it’s usually rooted as almost always in childhood unresolved trauma limerence really goes in my opinion to the roots of our lives
Limerence can feel like a helpful dream that gets me through the day. I suppose other people will daydream about hamburgers and being a millionaire, I'll daydream that the unattainable love object is chilling with me as I slog through some task or other. I'm not sure what need they meet specifically, but it just feels like they're always coming towards me, standing next to me. I had to tough it out alone a lot when I was little. I do make a habit of being there for myself more these days and not dissociating like I used to. But when I'm limerent I couldn't tell you what I liked, all I know is that being around them is like being high on drugs. But I don't let it stop me doing the things I want to do, I imagine them with me as I do them 😂
Thank you for sharing your experience with limerence ❤
@Littleowl85352 perhaps he is with you. Limerence actually comes from latin and verbatim means lovesick. It doesn't have to exclude love afaik, just references a wrong manifestation of love . something I tried to write to you on another thread but wouldn't go through : @Littleowl85352 and if you only love someone secretly to yourself or just in your head or heart without consummation I think that is limmerence. I.e the wrong feeling or "expression" / manifestation of love which can feel good at the surface but actually feel very bad unconsciously or underneath. As opposed to the right feeling of love which is shared and CONSUMMATION and which can feel at times bad(or anxious) at surface but be extremely good and nourishing underneath. If you are not willing to fight for your love allow me to call you a COWARD(for your own good)... life punishes those who don t fight for their love and often soulmates that were meant to be together for being cowards in love will never have another shot and meet each other again in the end. And from that point your entire life goes south! I often see this that people who should be together are miserable and become destroyed by life and the universe for not having fought for their love and deem to not meet again and be punished.
Perhaps he is. Limerence comes from latin and verbatim means lovesick... it doesn't have to exclude love just simply refere to a bad manifestation of love.
this is something I wrote to you on the other thread that wouldn't go by : @Littleowl85352 and if you only love someone secretly to yourself or just in your head or heart without consummation I think that is limmerence. I.e the wrong feeling or "expression"/manifestation of love, ambivalent love addiction which can feel good at a more surface level but actually feel very bad unconsciously or underneath. As opposed to the right feeling or expression of love which is shared and CONSUMMATION and which can feel at times bad(or anxious) at surface but be extremely good and nourishing underneath. If you are not willing to fight for your love allow me to call you a COWARD(for your own good)... life punishes those who don t fight for their love and often soulmates that were meant to be together for being cowards in love will never have another shot and meet each other again in the end. And from that point your entire life goes south! I often see this that people who should be together are miserable and become destroyed by life and the universe for not having fought for their love and deem to not meet again and be punished.
@@dandanut5409I think limerence is a problem when we decide it is a problem. When we decide it is a gift, it is a gift.
I dealt with this a LOT when I first got out of rehab. I thought it was simply my emotions being awakened, after numbing them with substances and alcohol for almost a year straight. I’ll be two years clean and sober on the 25th of this month, and the feelings are still there, but it alternates from one woman to another, then another. I have two at work, and a handful at each meeting I frequent. I guess even my fantasies like variety.
Interesting... so limerence is essentially about someone making you feel secure and having traits you lack. I guess the old adages, "wanting what you can't have" and "opposites attract" come into play here...🤔
I was going to say that I don't think you have to know someone to "love" them. Love to me is what I feel for my kids, but romantic love is different. I think that we want who we want before we talk to them. It's energy and vibration, and attraction. Hopefully they don't turn out to be a BH, cuz if it's happening, it's happening.
Hey Thais, these examples of your rich experience with concrete events of other people's lifes enrich our understanding enormously! Please continue with bringing such stories.
Thank you for your feedback and I'm glad the examples are helping! 🤗
I have never had a relationship that even remotely resembled those 6 phases that you describe, or that kind of timeline. For instance, one relationship had a power struggle from day one (which never went away), all the rest never had a power struggle at all, even after 10 years. I also never noticed any difference that would describe stability, commitment, or bliss "stages".
And while I do have a tendency to occasionally (maybe once every 5-10 years) fall in love with someone I'm not actually dating in a way that might feel like limerence or infatuation, it only happens after knowing them and talking to them for a month or two (generally as a classmate or coworker), never just "love at first sight". (And also not really while I'm already in a relationship with someone else.) Also, I didn't sense that those people particularly embodied anything that I was missing, I just felt that they seemed potentially very compatible.
I also find the apparent need of psychologists to devalue other people's feelings and describe them as being "not real" or something other than "true love" by making up a succession of essentially derogatory characterizations, from crush to infatuation to limerence to whatever someone will come up with next, to be deeply insulting and not particularly useful.
This is incredible, god is good so is Thais! I was just talking about a guy whom I was dating who was in serious limerence at the beginning stage. 2 months down the line, things got more serious and he revealed that he was in a 3 year relationship…With a guy who is married to another guy🤓
So limerence = a red flag to me now 🚩
Thank you for your kind words and vulnerable share, I appreciate it! I'm sorry you had to go through that ❤
Damn, he hit you with inception-level plot twists! R.Kelly Trapped in the Closet, FR, AND metaphorically 😂 I’m glad you made it outta that one, I can’t even imagine the stories you have lol
Thank u for sharing this video.✨ I reall hate the feeling when I am in limerence.
.now I know why I keep obsessing with a person...it's their traits that I hunger as my needs for myself..soo.wow💛
Thank you for this very informative video.
I have suffer limerence since forever. I actually touch rock bottom in 2023. Like when you eat the same food all the time I end up 🤢 not sure if I have heal but the only idea of entering in limerence again made me 🤢 PDS was my way out! Thx
You are the best!!!!!!!!! You've really evolved with your vids too. Thank you! You are very appreciated! ❤
This is def one of my top favorite vids from PDS. I love the shadow work aspects ❤❤
And what I can't stand is Shmollywood's glorification of this, painting it as if one is helpless, without self-control, and of course, the spouse or partner often framed as the rotter. If it feels good, why not?
👏👏
I think it has been glorified long before Hollywood. Romeo and Juliet... all the men of Greece and Helen of Troy... even Ares and Aphrodite!
😅
@@Littleowl85352 True. It runs deep in the species' genetics!
Truth be told, I have always been somewhat of a romantic, and believed in the idea of finding "the woman of my dreams." But I feel uncomfortable with the pervasive depiction of affairs in film history. Sure, it is sometimes tragic, teaching a lesson, but I feel it is often painted in delightful, sensual, tasty colours, habituating people to the idea.
@@GeoffreyAngapa no I am not a fan of affairs at all
❤THANK YOU THAIS. IS THERE A CERTAIN ATTACHMENT STYLE THAT HAS LIMERENCE MORE THAN OTHERS? ALSO WILL THE COURSE ON LIMERENCE IDENTIFY N ADDRESS THE HUNGER, N THE NEED FOR TRAIT INTERGRATION?❤
Thank you, and would you please activate my full course now, so that I can get to work? Of course I'd likeyour help, but not instead of shadow work Qn'A in teh group. That was stressful and i did not know the ropes f the Qn' A. Very sorry for the disturbance I caused. I dk why you didn't do the shadow work with me? I was only wanting to give you some background(18th Nov. 2023)
Hi, i am just wondering if you one on one consulting? Thanks
👍
Gym Tan Laundry 😂 IYKYK
I am a mystic and I can assure you the only type of love that is true is love at first sight. If none of you experienced it none of you had truly loved in the deepest of ways. You cannot measure infinity. Here is where we trump you, but everything we come from can get verified by reality.
My parents had three dates before they got engaged. They've been married almost fifty years now. It has not been a flawless marriage but I would also not call it an unhappy one. They would agree it was love at first sight but they are also traditional enough to persist when things get a bit difficult, because they do not share the same interests or hobbies and both can be extremely stubborn. My mother said the only thing that would make her divorce my father immediately with no second chances was if he ever came home drunk and this he has not done 😊
@@Littleowl85352 I dare go with this even further. There is only love at first sight. If you haven't experienced that you never loved at all. you could be married for 70 years...
@@dandanut5409 that is too far for me. Some may not have love at first sight, but be perfectly happy with their partner. That's a blessing.
@@dandanut5409you’re on the wrong site. Sounds like the ones about “twin flames” might be more up your alley.
I'm here with my popcorn to watch all the obsessed soulmate/twin flame people pushing back against this video because they aren't ready to heal yet. I was just like them a year ago.
It takes A LOT of healing and time, but you'll be so much happier and mentally stable when you let go of ideas like "love at first sight". No one is going to swoop in and save you from your life. You need to shape your own life, rather than obsessing over a person that doesn't even care about you. If they cared, you wouldn't be stalking them just to have a connection..
My little story and experience with limerence, is that I got scammed and catfished. Dug up all of the information just behind the pictures alone, and I like the real person behind the pictures. Both healthy and unhealthy, going through the motions of limerence. Thank you, Thais for the video