Who Should do the Pursuing in a Relationship?

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  • Опубліковано 18 чер 2019
  • You notice a godly guy. You like him. You want to start a relationship. Should you make the first move? Should you ask him out on a date?
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 281

  • @greenalfoil
    @greenalfoil 5 років тому +55

    It blows my mind that you think someones role in life is to be someone's something. If the biggest thing you're achieving in life is being someone's partner then I think you need to look at living life for yourself. The right person will stand beside you on that journey and together you'll achieve bigger things than your own relationship.

    • @iwassarcastic5282
      @iwassarcastic5282 5 років тому +6

      preach.

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +8

      We totally agree. Marriage and relationships are not the greatest goal and purpose in life. Well put! But if a romance does happen at some point, I’m glad God’s Word gives us insight on how to navigate that path intentionally in a way that is for our good and honors him. :)

    • @abi3241
      @abi3241 5 років тому +3

      @@cassandrasmith4820 I don't think they believe in homosexuality so my guess would be neither

    • @albalopez6542
      @albalopez6542 5 років тому +5

      @S Bradley You know you can be independent and still fall in love and give yourself to your partner right?
      What these girls are talking about is depending on someone completely and changing everything about yourself just to please your partner and not focus on yourself and your mental health. That's the problem

  • @abbyramsbo55
    @abbyramsbo55 5 років тому +82

    I know these girls mean well, but its not in any way wrong for a girl to pursue a guy. Sometimes guys need a push from a girl, this isnt the 1st century

  • @joshuaokoro-sokoh2993
    @joshuaokoro-sokoh2993 5 років тому +30

    Story of Ruth. Now a biblically supported notion that women can make the first move too.

  • @acornsylvester2741
    @acornsylvester2741 5 років тому +44

    So Gods timing is your husbands timing?

  • @alinaa4313
    @alinaa4313 5 років тому +64

    but... there are so many christian, happy couples where the woman pursued the guy because the guy was shy or whatever. i am a very strong woman of faith and honestly it makes me SO SAD that THIS is what people see as christianity. yes you’re right, DEPENDING on the situation sometimes it’s the guy, but JUST BECAUSE that’s how YOUR situation worked out is not a representation of perfect christianity, and you have so much pride and putting yourself on such a high horse of “we are perfect christians” and “we are doing everything right”...it’s just so sad.

    • @swimmswimmm668
      @swimmswimmm668 5 років тому +4

      They quoted scripture... it says what they are taking about in the Bible. It’s really sad you are trying to disregard what the Bible says:(

    • @jesselazar2928
      @jesselazar2928 5 років тому +1

      @@swimmswimmm668 There isn't anything in the Bible to back up what they're saying. Those are their own ideas, and they're entitled to follow those ideas. But all they do is reference some vague ideas "such as Adam being created first" and read a TON of things into those ideas. If you just read the Bible for what it says, you won't find such things. You have to start with those ideas and then see how the Bible can be used to fit them. Anyway, too big a deal is made of things like this. There are much more important issues for Christians to be thinking about and discussing than this.

    • @swimmswimmm668
      @swimmswimmm668 5 років тому +1

      Jesse L The family unit is an essential piece to the building of a strong and Biblical social fabric. The relationship between man and woman is very important. One of the most important foundations. And they aren’t spouting nonsense ideas. The scripture directly states what they are saying. The scripture is what establishes their opinion not the other way around. Look at Proverbs 22:6 Acts 10:2 Ephesians 5:22-23 Corinthians 11:3 Ephesians 5:21-33. I don’t know how you can deny the words in these passages.

  • @mh3732
    @mh3732 5 років тому +36

    Hi gals... fellow christian here. I used to be a huge fan of ya'll, and even though my worldview has changed, I still watch your videos and I think you're super sweet and kind women. However, and I want this to come over in the best way possible, I usually don't stand behind you on a lot of the points you make. I'm so sorry that ya'll get really mean hate, but please hear me out, I do not want this to come over as hate. When you say that we shouldn't lead, or that we should look to God's word for that proof, what comes to my mind is 1 Timothy 2:12. That says women should not teach in church, and that they should be quiet.... I 100% believe that women should be teachers and pastors and speakers, but if you follow the bible to a T, there are going to be nuances were cultural instances come into view. If ya'll want to tell women to not lead in relationships, remember that millions of beautiful relationships started from the girl going after the guy. All the love goes out to ya'll, I just wanted to give you something to chew on.

    • @andraste6746
      @andraste6746 5 років тому +4

      Marihelen Gloria I absolutely agree with this.

    • @mahimahi8922
      @mahimahi8922 5 років тому

      Hi women are allowed to teach women as shown in Titus 2 : 3-5 . Bethany and Kristen are teaching girls and women so thats okay. 1 Timothy is referring to preaching / teaching in the church as in the pulpit. But women are allowed to evangelize , have ministries, be deacons etc.

    • @mh3732
      @mh3732 5 років тому +1

      Love Hi fair the Bible does say that, but that wasn’t really my point... also I don’t see why women cannot stand behind a pulpit, or preach to men?

    • @mh3732
      @mh3732 5 років тому

      Andraste 💕💕

  • @hiscanvasofgrace3391
    @hiscanvasofgrace3391 5 років тому +20

    Thanks Kristen and Bethany, love you ladies! I met my boyfriend online and sent the first message...but i think of it as it was like me saying hey, you seem interesting to talk to ☺️ just started off with a low key encouragement and let him lead and set the pace the rest of the way. I think its great for women to be friendly and indicate interest rather than just playing hard to get, hiding their feelings completely- show the guy you're open to talking and maybe even hanging out! And if you're already friends for a while and have feelings, yet are unsure where you stand, its ok to ask for clarity that way you don't waste your time hoping for something to happen, if he just wants friendship

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +11

      Totally agree, girl! Showing interest and being intentionally available can be helpful. It’s just a balance. :)

  • @honeycoco341
    @honeycoco341 5 років тому +24

    Am I the only one who still can’t get over how beautiful Bethany looks with her new hairstyle 💁‍♀️?

    • @ChideraUwandu
      @ChideraUwandu 5 років тому +1

      She does! Her hair looks healthy and fuller :)

  • @reynaldacontreras9165
    @reynaldacontreras9165 5 років тому +21

    I'm not religious, but I thought the metaphor for marriage and christ and the church thing was actually really beautiful. That was very well put :)

  • @lisaeshleman754
    @lisaeshleman754 5 років тому +36

    women and men are equal but different!! amen!

    • @raerae123
      @raerae123 5 років тому +1

      Lisa Eshleman how are they equal? I’m honestly asking here, I’m not a christian but I watched the video and the men seem to hold all the power

    • @lisaeshleman754
      @lisaeshleman754 5 років тому +5

      @@raerae123 also want to add-girls can say no!! consent is extremely important and even if a man does the pursuing, a girl can and should say stop and no if she does not want to consider marrying that person.

    • @phiafacetious
      @phiafacetious 5 років тому

      @@raerae123 read C.S. Lewis "That Hideous Strength"! It's a novel exploring this theme further

    • @izzybella5104
      @izzybella5104 5 років тому +1

      Caitlin Boone equal as in we are not less then men
      We are all human

    • @raerae123
      @raerae123 5 років тому +1

      Izzy Bella but if men call all the shots and our the leaders then aren’t women seen as less than?

  • @ivancarrasco2128
    @ivancarrasco2128 5 років тому +20

    Should guys also "work for a bigger purpose"?

    • @childinchrist7335
      @childinchrist7335 5 років тому +1

      It's called GIRL defined. So if you didn't know, they are speaking to females.

    • @Whatever-fe7xn
      @Whatever-fe7xn 2 роки тому

      @@childinchrist7335 If it's called girl defined why do they talk about men so much?. Practice some humility while your at it.

  • @cellylozwe4853
    @cellylozwe4853 5 років тому +15

    "It's not about Capability, it's about Purpose💖💖💖"

  • @stefanoroca6855
    @stefanoroca6855 5 років тому +25

    It’s not god’s intention for you to interpret his work.

  • @rachelmathews3236
    @rachelmathews3236 5 років тому +26

    Honestly the Bible is Not that black and white in this Case. Think about Ruth. A Women pursuing a man very directly. There were exceptions in the Bible- there are going to be biblical expections today.

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому

      Thanks for watching and for sharing your thoughts in a kind way! If you have a sec, check out this article explaining more about Ruth and what happened biblically. You might find it interesting. www.boundless.org/advice/if-ruth-pursued-boaz-why-cant-i-pursue-a-guy/

    • @rachelmathews3236
      @rachelmathews3236 5 років тому +1

      @@girldefined thanks for the link. But no matter how you wrap it around: in the Bible Ruth still is pursuing first. Especially in the historical context. So still: if there we're Exceptions in the bible- Why should it 100% today in any Case be the man to pursue?

  • @mirandabrengartner1400
    @mirandabrengartner1400 5 років тому +29

    How was marriage created to “reflect Christ and the church” when marriage was invented before Jesus was even born?

    • @aidasharon
      @aidasharon 5 років тому +7

      Jesus was in heaven before he came to earth

    • @mycophobia_
      @mycophobia_ 5 років тому

      @@aidasharon I clicked on your channel I never want to meet people like you, not saying I hate you I'd just never wanna be around you

    • @aidasharon
      @aidasharon 5 років тому +1

      @SinophobiaTM thanks, dude. I’m going thru a lot right now and I’ve been contemplating whether I should keep going or just end the fight. You really helped the situation. I’ve really tried to talk to people and make friends but it feels like no one wants to be around me. Idk what you found on my channel that you didn’t like but don’t worry you can’t see any of it now

    • @TikVineTok
      @TikVineTok 5 років тому +1

      Aida Sharon Samrajakumar hey, I don’t know you, but I wanted to let you know you are valued👊🏿!

    • @mycophobia_
      @mycophobia_ 5 років тому +1

      @@aidasharon I love you son

  • @izzybella5104
    @izzybella5104 5 років тому +14

    I love the style of having a convo and it not being scripted
    It gets more of your personal perspective 💜

    • @JRexRegis
      @JRexRegis 5 років тому +1

      Also get more of their sexist, ableist, racist, ageist and theophobic slip-ups to tell us who they really are.

  • @ellenawilliams687
    @ellenawilliams687 5 років тому +22

    You guys are truly the greatest & a saving grace as I get older, not only for relationships but other topics. Thank you for being you!

  • @grinchery
    @grinchery 4 роки тому +44

    What about Ruth in the Bible who literally asked her future husband to marry her 🤔. Was she an ungodly woman then?

    • @si_a_to2086
      @si_a_to2086 3 роки тому +2

      Don't twist the story .

    • @sadem1045
      @sadem1045 2 роки тому +2

      @@si_a_to2086 They're not twisting it. They're just pointing out these girls' hypocrisy.

    • @si_a_to2086
      @si_a_to2086 2 роки тому +3

      @@sadem1045 If a man really loves someone he will pursue her, Ruth didn't propose Boaz, Boaz proposed Ruth.

  • @ambermyers5051
    @ambermyers5051 5 років тому +27

    I love this. It's so refreshing and peace-bringing to still have women in ministry seeking to glorify God's purpose for women. Don't give up! The Lord is using you guys as cool water in a scorched land of girls and women who have been lied to by culture about who they are.

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +5

      Thanks for the encouragement!!

    • @rachelmurray3434
      @rachelmurray3434 5 років тому +2

      I think it's rather the Church that has lied to women about who they are by making them think they have to conform to such submissive, passive roles that don't even allow them to simply make the first move in a potential relationship. Do you not realize how down right medieval and sexist such thinking is? Why are women not allowed to speak their minds and do as they please? Women should be allowed to freely express who they are without an old book telling them who they are supposed to be.

    • @ambermyers5051
      @ambermyers5051 5 років тому +1

      @@rachelmurray3434 Hey Rachel! Thank you for sharing your opinion, can we chat a little more? It sounds like you're really frustrated with the belief system of Christianity. Have you had personal experience with the church? Do you feel like you're one of the women who have been lied to by them?

    • @lame_emo4011
      @lame_emo4011 5 років тому +1

      Girl Defined 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

  • @madisonebanks5095
    @madisonebanks5095 5 років тому +7

    Best answer. The more extroverted of the pair(male OR female) will pursue head on, whereas the more introverted one(again male OR female) will most likely pursue in more indirect ways. For introverts, it might be “loudly” suggesting shared interests in passing and slowly building connection there, for extroverts it could be a simple “Hey I heard you like_____?”. (I also should add that both can similarity be an extrovert/introvert but there always are more dominant traits that are detectable. No one expresses themselves in the same exact way)

  • @sambailie4773
    @sambailie4773 5 років тому +16

    I'm saved and I pursued my husband x

  • @livingunashamed4869
    @livingunashamed4869 5 років тому +25

    Beautiful response guys! I think its ok for a girl to initiate but then the guy must step up and pursue/lead. She can give some hints or even say she likes him but the guy must lead after that. Proverbs 18:22 says he who finds a wife not she who finds a husband......the guy is biblically the pursuer and the girl is the responder :).

    • @jamessharp9790
      @jamessharp9790 5 років тому

      Kevin B conjecture. While this May work in a Small percentage of people its the Exception

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +2

      Love the way you put that.

    • @livingunashamed4869
      @livingunashamed4869 5 років тому +1

      No problem you guys are class personified and always biblically sound.

    • @jamessharp9790
      @jamessharp9790 5 років тому

      Kevin B , not correct. Bible does not specify that a man pursues. Man is the leader of the home and church.
      That he finds a wife doesn’t mean that it is he who must pursue. You could overreach on that to even say that it Is Only proper then if He makes first eye contact etc . , though by some people’s extra biblical dogma , he and she might not should even be making eye contact prior to marriage.

    • @jamessharp9790
      @jamessharp9790 5 років тому

      Girl Defined , you certainly seem dedicated to your pursuit of Christ.
      That said, much of your interpretation of scripture here actually reinforces a feminist stereotype that men must pursue, you’ve seen the lifetime channel movies where this knight in shining armor comes in and is an alpha male by appearance but a sensitive Beta male. The Reality is that almost every woman will Reject a man Acting Beta . This is Not excluded by Christian relationships , period.

  • @katrinagiven227
    @katrinagiven227 5 років тому +10

    Love this!!

  • @TheNiemamweny
    @TheNiemamweny 5 років тому +27

    Bethany's hoodie tied around her waist - gosh, I hope you're blessed with a PREGNANCY! ❤️
    Love your video!!

    • @allidoiscry4119
      @allidoiscry4119 5 років тому +7

      Isn't her husband a little young.... Is he ready for something like that

    • @allidoiscry4119
      @allidoiscry4119 5 років тому +1

      @@AllieLittleMonster I'm not sure but I think he's in his early 20s.. Bethany is probably ready because she's 30 but I don't know about Dave... I just watched their latest video and now I'm like 1000% sure she's pregnant.

    • @stefaniemedina14
      @stefaniemedina14 5 років тому

      It is rude to ask women if they are pregnant.

    • @JRexRegis
      @JRexRegis 5 років тому

      @@stefaniemedina14 in your culture, mayhaps. the world is a large place.

    • @Happytown7523
      @Happytown7523 5 років тому

      @@allidoiscry4119 lol I'm not even twenty and would be ready to have a child if I fell pregnant. People are ready at different times in their lives, and not long ago it wasnt an unheardof idea to have a child in the twenties... I think it's more ridiculous to wait too long to have children

  • @jaidenhart3411
    @jaidenhart3411 5 років тому +24

    OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS PERFECT TIMING! I've been talking to this guy for awhile and now that we're probably going to start dating soon, I've been really convicted that he needs to start initiating. I was the one who talked about feelings first but I think it's time to ease up and let him take the lead.

    • @scintillanikki
      @scintillanikki 5 років тому +1

      Don't be disappointed when you get nothing out of it. If you aren't upfront and wait for things to come, you automatically lowered your odds for no reason.

    • @jaidenhart3411
      @jaidenhart3411 5 років тому

      @@scintillanikki Actually, he's been doing very well! We had a chat about it a few days ago and he agrees that he needs to initiate so that's what he's been doing. 😊 But I appreciate the input!

    • @jaidenhart3411
      @jaidenhart3411 5 років тому

      @@cassandrasmith4820 I sort of disagree. I'm definitely not being passive but I do think it's the man's job to lead in a Christian relationship. But thanks for the input!

  • @amberdurham5063
    @amberdurham5063 5 років тому +13

    Love you two and this video ❤️ Question: If in Ephesians 5 husbands are “Christ” and wife’s are the “church”. So husbands are to pursue their wives since Christ pursued the church but don’t we as the church also pursue Christ. Or would we be consider followers and not pursuers? 🙂

    • @heyfionaa
      @heyfionaa 5 років тому +6

      we love Him because He first loved us! x

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +1

      Great question! The Church responded to Christ’s initiation and pursuit. :) However, this doesn’t mean that a woman can’t initiate anything in a godly relationship.

    • @IWillSurvivePain
      @IWillSurvivePain 5 років тому

      girl defined: *gives an answer with no explanation*

  • @abbygigi8345
    @abbygigi8345 2 роки тому +1

    Needed this video!! Thx for making it

  • @elizabethesch875
    @elizabethesch875 5 років тому +11

    What about Ruth and Boaz?

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +5

      Great question! Check out this helpful article on Ruth: www.boundless.org/advice/if-ruth-pursued-boaz-why-cant-i-pursue-a-guy/

    • @nomasns7338
      @nomasns7338 5 років тому +2

      Elizabeth Esch I was just about to point this our Ruth was the one to pursue the relationship and was guided by her mother in law Naomi

    • @elizabethesch875
      @elizabethesch875 5 років тому

      @@girldefined Thank you so much for the response! I would have never dreamed you would have replied! I enjoyed the article and have taken it to heart. I wish you had put it in the video! Thank you for this wonderful channel! Blessings on you!

    • @elizabethesch875
      @elizabethesch875 5 років тому

      @@nomasns7338 That is true! Thank you for your input!

  • @bentleym6924
    @bentleym6924 5 років тому +9

    Thanks so much for this video!! Too many women are ignoring what the Bible says and choosing to follow the culture instead. Thank you for standing for truth!

  • @Pepparkakorharbours
    @Pepparkakorharbours 3 роки тому +2

    Such amazing advice :).

  • @mariamusilli2771
    @mariamusilli2771 2 роки тому +1

    Love this video!

  • @sarahyount9927
    @sarahyount9927 5 років тому +10

    I very much am someone who desires to be pursued, even when I struggle with the patience to wait I know it is so worth it and will be better for my heart. But I’m curious because of Ruth, she pursued Boaz, so how is it always wrong for a woman to do the pursuing?

    • @llamagirl3491
      @llamagirl3491 5 років тому

      Sarah, it is not. The Bible does not address dating. Remember if you are a Christian you follow the New Testament, the teachings of Christ.

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +1

      Hey Sarah! Great question. We’ve wondered this as well over the years. The story of Ruth and Boaz has often been misinterpreted, so if you have a minute, check out this helpful article: www.boundless.org/advice/if-ruth-pursued-boaz-why-cant-i-pursue-a-guy/

  • @Goat.Cheese
    @Goat.Cheese 5 років тому +33

    I think that a woman waiting to be pursued is less of a biblical idea and more just a conservative/traditional idea. Not everything has to be related to the bible

    • @vi4269
      @vi4269 5 років тому +4

      Perhaps but jesus did pursue the church and we are a representation of that

    • @albalopez6542
      @albalopez6542 5 років тому +1

      @Lon Spector I don't think we do

    • @Goat.Cheese
      @Goat.Cheese 5 років тому

      @Lon Spector yeah we definitely don't. 😂 I can confirm

    • @Goat.Cheese
      @Goat.Cheese 5 років тому +1

      @Lon Spector plus, whenever we try to be "subtle" the guys seem to always miss the clues. So you gotta be direct a lot of the time

  • @em5353
    @em5353 5 років тому +10

    Hey! Can you two please do a video on 1 Corinthians 7:25-40? I'm curious to hear your thoughts on lifelong singleness. Thanks!

    • @neutrallyamused
      @neutrallyamused 5 років тому +2

      Ooh and Genesis 19:31-36 🙏🏻💖

    • @raisin4406
      @raisin4406 5 років тому +5

      emily Happy pride month 🏳️‍🌈🥰❤️

    • @em5353
      @em5353 5 років тому +1

      Raisin thanks! happy pride to you too🏳️‍🌈

    • @chrissyk.9894
      @chrissyk.9894 5 років тому +1

      Honestly you can have a great life and be single forever. Your happiness is not found in a significant other :)

    • @ursulalivesey5806
      @ursulalivesey5806 5 років тому

      @@chrissyk.9894 So true, make yourself happy first.

  • @colleenrenae6171
    @colleenrenae6171 5 років тому +34

    John 15: 18-19
    18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you
    Biblical reasoning behind why so many people are taking the time out of their day to seek out these girls and make edgy comments. The gospel is threatening to the ways of this world.

    • @T3Hits
      @T3Hits 5 років тому +7

      Couldn’t have said it better! 🙌🏾

    • @mckenziepickett188
      @mckenziepickett188 5 років тому +2

      Thank you!!! And you can see why a majority of these women aren’t married. They are full of pride and have hard hearts.

    • @colleenrenae6171
      @colleenrenae6171 5 років тому +2

      526ify Guy it’s a threat to the world because if it’s true then that means you’re held accountable for everything you’ve done. If it’s not true, then I’ll have lived with a purpose anyway and it won’t matter, but if it is true then it’s the most important thing in the world. There is power in the name of Jesus, and the truth doesn’t change based on your feelings or desires. I’d urge you to look into it for yourself, don’t take anyone else’s word for it. Go read books, watch documentaries, compare texts, that’s what I did. I ended up a Christian. At some point it takes more faith not to believe than to believe.

    • @NE-qq1os
      @NE-qq1os 5 років тому

      S Bradley honestly! 🙌🏼

    • @albalopez6542
      @albalopez6542 5 років тому +4

      @@mckenziepickett188 DID SOMEONE SAY PRIDE!!!!?
      🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

  • @olivia7561
    @olivia7561 5 років тому +16

    I think this may have been my favorite video you have ever done. So natural and especially scripturally based! Thank you for the insight!

  • @e11anora
    @e11anora 5 років тому +17

    The timing of this video was so so perfect! I’m going through this right now, thanks girls :)

    • @jennali9800
      @jennali9800 5 років тому +7

      It's ok to make the first move, no matter what your gender is. Don't wait for things to happen for you.

    • @blueyellow7377
      @blueyellow7377 5 років тому +3

      It’s also okay to listen to the advice Girl Defined gives 😁it’s nice to have a Christian perspective in relationships

    • @blueyellow7377
      @blueyellow7377 5 років тому +2

      Cassandra Smith yes and I never said that asking a guy out is never okay. I stated that it’s okay to listen Girl define’s advice and it’s nice to have someone speak Gods truth. This channel gets so much hate, and ugly comments. There is nothing wrong with agreeing with what they say.

    • @faithnarciso4565
      @faithnarciso4565 5 років тому +2

      Irina Blitz i'd say its best to pray and wait for God's timing. Cause He knows best! Girl defined is great!

    • @e11anora
      @e11anora 5 років тому +1

      Irina Blitz i know 100%. It’s just nice to hear their experience and point of view.

  • @andreabargender9927
    @andreabargender9927 5 років тому +8

    Hello Bethany and Kristen!!! I enjoy reading your blogs and watching your videos, and I'm really interested in reading your three books! Your ministry has helped transform my life into a more Christ-centered one. After watching this video, I was wondering how you would approach a situation where a man is pursuing you but he wasn't who you imagined being in a relationship with and you're not ready to be in a relationship. What would you do, and what advice do you have?

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому +6

      Hey Andrea! Thanks for the encouragement. :) Well... if you’re not ready to be in a relationship yet then it probably doesn’t matter who is pursuing you at this point because the answer would just be “not interested right now.” :) But if you feel ready down the road and this same guy comes along, you could always give him a chance to see if maybe there’s more than meets the eye. ;)

  • @jadamartinez1312
    @jadamartinez1312 5 років тому +10

    This is helping so many people, you guys are great vessels of the Holy Spirit!!! Love you guys!

  • @Praise_Wellington.
    @Praise_Wellington. 5 років тому +8

    Thank you girls for your perseverance despite persecution thank you for understanding that if your videos literally just reaches and helps 1 girl in the whole world than its worth it even if some people will just comment to try and make you feel awkward, which is just unfortunate that they are wasting there energy cause you guys must not stop because your really helping girls all of ages come together and support each other with our faith. Love you girlss and please keep them coming 💗☺️☺️☺️☺️💗 watching from Manchester England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 and i am also half nigerian 🇳🇬🇳🇬

  • @abigailr.22
    @abigailr.22 5 років тому +11

    As a single woman, I sometimes find it challenging - like you said - to keep out of the pursuing role, or even feeling like I need to be in that position; However, I believe if we keep this biblical perspective/truth, it is possible to be set free from wanting to fill that role.
    Thank you for the encouragement!

    • @catseye10000
      @catseye10000 5 років тому +9

      stop following a masajonistic bronze age book you will live longer

    • @abigailr.22
      @abigailr.22 5 років тому

      Catalina Gearbox I don’t understand?

    • @catseye10000
      @catseye10000 5 років тому +5

      @@abigailr.22 its simple, the bible is there to controll you. your "truth" is a lie

    • @Alex-gr3ko
      @Alex-gr3ko 5 років тому +4

      @@abigailr.22 I think she means try having an own will and do not search your dating advice from a 2.000 year old book

    • @catseye10000
      @catseye10000 5 років тому +2

      @Lon Spector why not ask them yourself

  • @ashlyn3865
    @ashlyn3865 5 років тому +17

    Thanks for this video! It was so helpful and beautiful!!!

  • @amethyrosemary8296
    @amethyrosemary8296 5 років тому +9

    Great video:)

  • @courtneyj.8097
    @courtneyj.8097 5 років тому +10

    I am a Christian that believes in male/female traits and roles (not necessarily "gender roles," but masculinity and femininity), and so I think it's ideal for the man to pursue, and I think typically the woman wants to be pursued. BUT! But there are always those that naturally have different personalities that might compliment in a different way. If a man doesn't pursue because of his personality, it seems unfair to wait for him to 'grow up' or mature to make the move. This feels like just playing hard to get...

  • @valorandstrength2829
    @valorandstrength2829 3 роки тому +1

    What about Ruth?

  • @tharynwilliams6253
    @tharynwilliams6253 3 роки тому +8

    Lovely, thanx for the advise girls!!!👌🙃

  • @ciarafoster8138
    @ciarafoster8138 2 роки тому +2

    Was the height difference an issue?

  • @dannyberinger4634
    @dannyberinger4634 5 років тому +8

    Does "size" matter to women in a relationship?

    • @jessicadiggins2115
      @jessicadiggins2115 5 років тому +6

      Danny Beringer I’m a girl and honestly no!! I’m saving myself for marriage personally, but intimacy is so much more emotional than physical!!!

    • @Almandarina2
      @Almandarina2 5 років тому +7

      It does, and people saying otherwise is a lie.

    • @johnwick1064
      @johnwick1064 5 років тому

      Almandarina2 that is just your opinion

    • @the.beedles
      @the.beedles 5 років тому +4

      @@johnwick1064 the question is literally asking for an opinion, so yes it's their opinion. What's your point

    • @johnwick1064
      @johnwick1064 5 років тому

      Aly Craig obviously you don’t know what I mean, I said it in a sarcasm way

  • @krystalmelinaanderson5077
    @krystalmelinaanderson5077 5 років тому +5

    It’s a daily surrender

  • @anninedaisey
    @anninedaisey 5 років тому +14

    Just what my mom had been telling me! Such great information.

    • @billyray6210
      @billyray6210 5 років тому +3

      annine daisey i feel bad for you

  • @rachelle_hdz36
    @rachelle_hdz36 5 років тому +3

    I dont worry about this subject because im fat and ugly and hispanic ,no one pursues me. It does kind of bother me cause there have been men ive really liked but they ve never wanted anything to do with me. I wish i looked liked you kristen.

    • @faithtello3427
      @faithtello3427 5 років тому +12

      Oh dear this made me sad, girl! Please don't think such negative things about yourself 😭 Every person on this planet has something physically beautiful about them (Hair, smile, eyes). Boys are stupid and sometimes don't realize how special a girl can be. I am a very pretty girl, and I even have guys who do not want anything to do with me. Dont focus so much on if they will like you. Focus more on if you even like them lol

    • @rachelle_hdz36
      @rachelle_hdz36 5 років тому +2

      @@faithtello3427 thank you

    • @rachelle_hdz36
      @rachelle_hdz36 5 років тому +1

      @Hannah H thank you

    • @hiscanvasofgrace3391
      @hiscanvasofgrace3391 5 років тому +4

      Girl, there is no one standard of beauty; every guy finds a different kind of woman, beautiful! And what can make you the most beautiful of all is developing your relationship with God...a heart submitted to Him is so attractive ❤️

    • @rachelle_hdz36
      @rachelle_hdz36 5 років тому

      @@hiscanvasofgrace3391 thank u

  • @sb_3
    @sb_3 5 років тому +9

    Thank you for posting this video! This is a topic I’ve thought a lot about and it’s great to hear y’all’s perspectives from a Biblical standpoint. Love it!❤️

  • @gwenmathebula3891
    @gwenmathebula3891 5 років тому +9

    Excellent Response 🌼

  • @WhiteeeChocolate
    @WhiteeeChocolate 5 років тому +10

    thank you for this video

    • @girldefined
      @girldefined  5 років тому

      So glad you found it helpful!

  • @milenadeitos
    @milenadeitos 5 років тому +8

    I loved this vlog!! Thank you, girls!! ❤

  • @krystalmelinaanderson5077
    @krystalmelinaanderson5077 5 років тому +6

    Great advice

  • @CristinaOliveira2000
    @CristinaOliveira2000 5 років тому +13

    This video really helped me to rest and trust in our Lord! Thank you for sharing the truth with us!

  • @krystalmelinaanderson5077
    @krystalmelinaanderson5077 5 років тому +6

    Love this

  • @rebekahkann1599
    @rebekahkann1599 4 роки тому +8

    you girls make me smile with your vlogs!! Thank you!

  • @arbretree5463
    @arbretree5463 5 років тому +5

    Amen! Love you girls

  • @e.n.6079
    @e.n.6079 5 років тому +8

    Thank you for this video! JESUS CHRIST ❤️❤️❤️may bless you and your families!

  • @jj123123123100
    @jj123123123100 5 років тому +29

    so many sad people in this comment section. stay strong girls!

    • @raisin4406
      @raisin4406 5 років тому +13

      Holus Bolus Haha thanks!! Happy pride month ❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

    • @lame_emo4011
      @lame_emo4011 5 років тому +8

      Happy pride month 🌈🌈🌈

    • @laracuevas5533
      @laracuevas5533 5 років тому +10

      Holus Bolus , so so many sad people who listen to these girls :( lesbians, you go, girls! 🏳️‍🌈💗
      that’s what you meant, right?

    • @timetravelingconman
      @timetravelingconman 5 років тому +2

      Holus Bolus I don’t know my dude, I think I’m pretty happy

    • @ota3185
      @ota3185 5 років тому

      I don't think you know anyone enough to know if they're sad. Wishing people a happy pride seems pretty joyful to me. And to anyone with functional eyes.

  • @georginalewis837
    @georginalewis837 5 років тому +6

    I think women should pursue - BUT whenever I have tried to do that with a guy - it PUTS THEM OFF!!!!! Totally doesn't work, I think they still like to be the chaser......it's so frustrating when you just want things to move on lol!!

    • @publius6942
      @publius6942 4 роки тому +1

      Georgina Lewis if a functioning relationship is possible, both parties will be interested. Don't try to force it. Come on

  • @Susannah.N
    @Susannah.N 5 років тому +6

    Yes! I love that!

  • @bellsm5350
    @bellsm5350 5 років тому +8

    Thanks girls! helpful

  • @carylsarah8883
    @carylsarah8883 5 років тому +10

    This spoke to me a lot!

  • @deboraha1904
    @deboraha1904 5 років тому +14

    for those of you confused or reading through the comments, you need to read the Bible and and figure out what you think it says. Proverbs 31 doesn't say that the girl shouldn't be leaders or just raise the kids: it says that she should work and she makes the money. Woman can be leaders too and so can men. Yes, technically "wife" is translated to "helper". So it the word "Holy Christ." So, please come up with your own opinion.

  • @rachelbeck1079
    @rachelbeck1079 5 років тому +16

    I appreciate this video so much! I am the mother of five girls and I think this topic is overlooked, even in the Christian culture. Keep going ladies, you are doing great work!

    • @erinschemmel9092
      @erinschemmel9092 5 років тому +17

      Using these two brain dead vaginal scabs for help raising young daughters is like asking Jeffrey Dahmer for advice on mental health.

    • @maryfreegirl2029
      @maryfreegirl2029 5 років тому

      poor girls

  • @lexchantel
    @lexchantel 5 років тому +14

    Thank you so much for posting! I think that it is so beautiful to be pursued by a godly man. Agree 100%!

    • @justvibingman5189
      @justvibingman5189 5 років тому +6

      What about a women being pursued by a godly women!?

    • @justvibingman5189
      @justvibingman5189 5 років тому +4

      *oh f u c c wait*

    • @lexchantel
      @lexchantel 5 років тому +1

      @@justvibingman5189 that would contradict a biblical and biologically reproductive relationship so I would say no.

    • @justvibingman5189
      @justvibingman5189 5 років тому +7

      @@lexchantel but what about adoption there are plenty of children who are in need of adopting I can do that

    • @thomasb.2506
      @thomasb.2506 5 років тому

      @@justvibingman5189 because you can't be a mountain climber who hates mountains :-D

  • @sophiajohnson8608
    @sophiajohnson8608 5 років тому +8

    Great video!

  • @faithnarciso4565
    @faithnarciso4565 5 років тому +23

    KEEP GOING LADIES!!!you are doing such great jobs!! those hates are expected when you are being bold in telling what's in the Bible.

    • @alysonic8960
      @alysonic8960 5 років тому +6

      Alright, but the Bible is outdated and these people are extremely stereotypical.

  • @ellisonbrenda1289
    @ellisonbrenda1289 5 років тому +7

    Wow! That makes so much sense! I had never understood the reason why people say the women should not pursue. I was like " I like this guy I will pursue". Thank you for making the link between Gods purpose explained in the Bible and my life.

  • @childinchrist7335
    @childinchrist7335 5 років тому +19

    Thank you for this message sisters. Continue in the service of the Lord despite the persecution.

    • @rafaelrivera364
      @rafaelrivera364 5 років тому +9

      Child in Christ Persecution? What do you mean?

  • @carolinevillanueva2781
    @carolinevillanueva2781 4 роки тому +26

    You girls are such amazing role models. This is such a great reminder to me as a teen... thank you thank you!! :))

    • @user-qq4tj8gm8b
      @user-qq4tj8gm8b 4 роки тому +41

      Aralyn GET AWAY FROM THEM WHILE YOU CAN BROOOOO

    • @ntrunnrracl
      @ntrunnrracl 4 роки тому +19

      @@benrick5961 personally, since leaving the faith, i feel free, and I'm actually, truly happy. I'm feeling a sense of peace I've never felt before. I'm no longer stressed or depressed about anything.

    • @ppatrisaurus
      @ppatrisaurus 4 роки тому +1

      i mean, if you want to follow them as role models that's fine, but make sure you do it because you want to and not because of fear or social pressure. and please you dont have to wait until a boy asks you out (maybe they are shy, and you have the right to express your feelings (; )

    • @rhea5185
      @rhea5185 4 роки тому

      please don't follow them

    • @amethystluna2999
      @amethystluna2999 3 роки тому

      Girl don't follow these two dumbos you're gonna end up. In depression

  • @faithnarciso4565
    @faithnarciso4565 5 років тому +15

    Im very very happy that girl defined family is growing. Will pray that this family will grow even more!Godbless your beautiful souls ladies!!!

    • @aidasharon
      @aidasharon 5 років тому

      @Cassandra Smith why? These things that they are saying helps people. It’s ok if you don’t agree with what they’re saying but just keep in mind this can be really helpful for young girls

    • @aidasharon
      @aidasharon 5 років тому +1

      @Cassandra Smith I’m a young girl and find their advice really helpful in fact it helped me out of my suicidal thoughts. I’m sorry to hear your friend went thru that too but for some people it does help. No hate❤️❤️

    • @aidasharon
      @aidasharon 5 років тому

      @Cassandra Smith thanks for your concern❤️❤️❤️

  • @lilydaa230
    @lilydaa230 4 роки тому +11

    This is 100 true!! :)

  • @racheljane_
    @racheljane_ 5 років тому +15

    I do not say this to be mean in any way. My constructive criticism would be to slow down your speaking. I have seen your channel through responses from a couple other channels, and came to check out your videos, and that is what I have noticed in every one is you just come off as extremely intense and high strung, which makes watching these videos less enjoyable. I feel there are ways to improve our speech and communication without losing your natural personality, and that’s something I would strongly advise working on. As Christians we have this negative connotation in society of the “crazy Christian girl”, and you ladies really don’t do us any favours in your demeanour in these videos. Again, just constructive criticism that I think if worked on will truly help your message.
    I feel if we are advocating for faith and traditionalism in our lives, it’s important to focus on what is truly feminine, and work on and encourage that in other young women. Some tangible ways to come off more feminine is gentleness and slightly slower speech, and I really don’t see that at all here, which makes me want to click away because I just can’t handle the intensity.

  • @munaghebredingle9393
    @munaghebredingle9393 4 роки тому +11

    Thank you for the clarification. God bless! :)

  • @faithnarciso4565
    @faithnarciso4565 5 років тому +17

    CONTINUE CONTINUE and dont stop you are inspiring many all over the world! Godbless!!

  • @MS-rt6hl
    @MS-rt6hl 5 років тому +8

    You girls are awesome! 👏

    • @strawberri7221
      @strawberri7221 5 років тому +6

      They are literally promoting sexism

  • @destineyhopkins7097
    @destineyhopkins7097 5 років тому +10

    LOOOVEEE this video had some great biblical wisdom and insight. Look forward to more.

  • @chloemartin8617
    @chloemartin8617 5 років тому +14

    Thank you guys for continuing to share positivity and encouragement despite the negativity and hate!!

    • @nealathompson485
      @nealathompson485 5 років тому +1

      No likes lol

    • @chrispham6599
      @chrispham6599 5 років тому +2

      You mean truth

    • @Sweetxy
      @Sweetxy 5 років тому +10

      Their positivity actually is like a blanket of fakeness

    • @chloemartin8617
      @chloemartin8617 5 років тому

      @@nealathompson485 thanks for giving me likes with your comment dude

    • @nealathompson485
      @nealathompson485 5 років тому

      @@chloemartin8617 yeah I failed 😂

  • @diemeistenlandeninderholle8479
    @diemeistenlandeninderholle8479 5 років тому +6

    JESUS CHRIST COMES VERY SOON!!

  • @thomasb.2506
    @thomasb.2506 5 років тому +12

    Whatever hate you get: keep always in mind that you have Jesus (and this is more than enough), that you have an AWESOME family (something that most people hating on the internet dont have. If they had, they would not have time for this) and also that you have "fans" (people who live this content) feom nearly EVERYWHERE in the world...! So cool how many people you reach!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

  • @monanana-04
    @monanana-04 4 роки тому +53

    Why are so many of you so hateful?? If you dont like the video, leave! Your hateful words add nothing good or beneficial to this world. you're just acting like a troll
    Be bigger than that!

    • @user-rt5fe2fc1r
      @user-rt5fe2fc1r 4 роки тому +61

      No we can't leave something so toxic and leave them to continue to live there lives up to some dead man's book

    • @Ecliptonian
      @Ecliptonian 4 роки тому +32

      We can’t let people like this influence the world

    • @Kat-bb9cn
      @Kat-bb9cn 4 роки тому +2

      clown feet EXACTLY

    • @Kat-bb9cn
      @Kat-bb9cn 4 роки тому +2

      Lego Lord815 E X A C T L Y

    • @blonde.angelk
      @blonde.angelk 4 роки тому +1

      👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

  • @fdargen1
    @fdargen1 5 років тому +27

    This. IS. The. WORD. PERIODT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These ladies are speaking straight TRUTH based off the Word! True definition of how Godly women are depicted in the Bible.
    Proverbs 18:22 describes it perfectly! The WORD never lies.
    “Whoso findeth a wife...” the woman is TO BE found it is NOT the other way around...a man has to be Godly equipped FIRST to LEAD. Adam was created first wasn’t he?

    • @AliceRoche-ii2ke
      @AliceRoche-ii2ke 5 років тому +35

      @FresDargen society doesn't really agree with that tho. Adam and eve is nothing more than a story.

    • @AliceRoche-ii2ke
      @AliceRoche-ii2ke 5 років тому +19

      @@benrick5961 is the bible the evidence? There are so many issues with the story of Adam and eve

    • @AliceRoche-ii2ke
      @AliceRoche-ii2ke 5 років тому +6

      @@benrick5961 like what?

    • @AliceRoche-ii2ke
      @AliceRoche-ii2ke 5 років тому +7

      @@benrick5961 please explain

    • @philmia123
      @philmia123 5 років тому +5

      Maybe your ‘truth!’ Lol
      Who says it’s the ‘truth?’ You???

  • @jadamartinez1312
    @jadamartinez1312 5 років тому +7

    Love this!!!