America's Voting Machines Are F**ked: The Daily Show
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- Опубліковано 9 лис 2015
- Ronny Chieng examines how outdated technologies and overpriced voting machines threaten America's election process.
Watch full episodes of The Daily Show now: on.cc.com/1h5ThRg - Комедії
As a Chinese, when he cursed in Chinese like a punk, I lost it.
Dirk Zhang SAME LMAO
He is Malaysian. He was born in Malaysia.
Owais Hanzara Khan But what he said is truly Chinese. Many Malaysian have Chinese blood, you know
@@gloxiniaking4247 not really.
What dis he say
HAHAHA when he started cussing in chinese i lost it
oeiwyuzl84332165 他吗的你们没有搞错这么懒错你们好用
sloth hajen Actually "哇, 他妈的你们有没有搞错这种烂货你们还会用啊?" would probably be more accurate.
I basically just typed the same comment using the same words.
In my school, the students that are fluent in Chinese are 90% of the time the cool kids.
Even my classroom, there are like 5 students that speak Chinese and they're kind of in the cool kids squad...
But one of the Chinese-speaking students are gonna leave my school
Bye bye... 😢
Let me translate
:*****.are you serious you still using this piece of crap.
"But in United States, machine are a lot more expensive than you would expect"
*THEN BUY THEM FROM INDIA.* God, I hate hearing American Officials and their lame excuses...
+Solitude Possible security breach from foreigners.
Michael Panggabean If America's security gets breached by 100 bucks voting machines, they deserve to be breached.
Also, worth risking to prevent Trump winning like Bush did. Moron president, for a moronic country.
Solitude you won't know whether they'll bug the machine or not. It's not just america, but worldwide, if the government is dealing with sensitive information, they will make the technology themselves.
Michael Panggabean Maybe it's because of living in Scandinavian countries, but why are other countries so hellbent on screwing each other?
This problem is so none existent here.
Solitude whether you like it or not, the US is still pretty much the hegemon of our modern world. And because of that, many enemies. Not just that, but people from allied countries might also dislike the US for many of its foreign policy. That's why it's understandable that the US becoming pretty "paranoid" with security.
Even my grandma back in Malaysia would look at this and go "WTF" 😂😂
Hai im from Malaysia.. Lol 😂
#MalaysiaHasNoNaturalDisasters
#Peace
azura Yay a Malaysian,me too
United, we strong.
I’m Malaysian
Chinese cursing Translation:
Damn. what is wrong with you man.
You are still using this piece of junk?
come on man.
he didn't curse but ok.
Ta Ma De is a curse word. It supposed to be "Fuck" instead of "Damn"
you are so courteous
But is it mandarin or Cantonese? Im still not able to distinguish one from the other.
linlin lixin Mandarin
In the UK we had a similar problem with our voting equipment a few years ago but eventually through competent auditing and difficult budget choices we were able to purchase the new pencil sharpeners that were required.
+kinghani Lol
Yeah but in the UK we generally only vote once every 4-5 years. You call that democracy?
+Alex Daniel The Presidential elections are once every 4 years, each Senator is elected every 6 years. Each member of the House is elected every 2 years. State level elections as well dependent on local laws etc.
Frequency of voting =/= equal quality of democracy and there are many measures of democracy that actually rank the UK above America for democracy, but even so:
In the UK there was a general election in 2015, a London mayoral election in 2016, GLA elections in 2016, Scottish Parliamentary elections in 2016, Scottish referendum in 2014, European elections in 2014, Welsh Assembly elections in 2016, AV referendum in 2011, European referendum by 2017, PCC elections in 2016, Stormont elections in 2016, multi-level local elections every single year. Yeah, the UK is a democracy
+Alex Daniel The main reason for that is that the US is very similar to the EU. It's literally 50 countries under one central government. The UK would be one of those states. You elect your local officials, and EU officials.
It works for you folk because your population is about 60 million while the U.S population is 5 times yours and it wouldn't for them
this just seems like a ridiculous problem
It is, because voting machines should not be used for elections.
How To Make Sushi omg I watch you😀
autohmae so do you propose we go back to hand counting the ballots? Its either that or some sort of machine or app, maybe a website, I'm mean no matter what there's gonna be flaws and draw backs, we simply just need to allocate more money towards voting equipment until we can create a viable solution, do you happen to have one i didn't mention?
As a programmer I know how flawed machines are. They are not suitable for voting: media.ccc.de/v/31c3_-_6344_-_en_-_saal_1_-_201412281400_-_security_analysis_of_estonia_s_internet_voting_system_-_j_alex_halderman
Radical Socialist Democracy Yes like anyone else
Chinese translation: ”wtf, are you serious? do you still use this crap?”
That's Malaysian
I mean he is speaking northern Chinese.
one piece as a mandarin speaker, It seems to be exactly the same as mandarin. Interestingly enough I dont speak any malaysian
Arzan Da noob that is chinese
Malaysian-Chinese, we curse ta ma de a lot.
I'm proud to be a Malaysian, having great comedians like Ronny Chieng.
"my grandma from Malaysia" lol
+Muhammad Haziq He is from Malaysia you know
+theghostmachine That feeling when you roughly know what he was cursing under his breath in Mandarin.
+Bob Shatner What if I told you... There has been a Chinese community in Malaysia for centuries.
zeeslag123 I'm from Singapore. Chill.
+Bob Shatner I can tell you that.. :P
we still do the paper thing. then you lock some people in a room and make them count.
They usually don't like someone requesting a recount.
@R B then make them count 999 ballots at a time ;)
Germany does that too I didn't even know that some other countries have voting machines
we still do that in Pakistan XD and then after the election, opposition starts using this weakness as rigged election rhetoric.
In Hong Kong, while counting the votes, suddenly there WILL BE a power outage. After that there WILL BE 2 extra ballot boxes.
Tell me more about it....
And this is why, as old and outdated as it seems, paper ballot voting, counted and recounted by hand by several people in front of everyone and the media in the polling station itself and then the tallies reported onwards is a better idea than using voting machines
Yep, it's still the best system.
Non-hackable as well... that is unless you pay someone to destroy some votes or add some votes in illegally, or just do the malaysia blackout way. No offense, but it happened.
#mixtape #12am
I'm cool w/ that; the real killer is gerrymandered districts.
@Lauren Idc -------------->>
well at least ask damn it..
we Indians would let you borrow our machines for while ...
Sure you would. Then the next thing we know, M. Night Shyamalan is president of the united states!
...Bet you didn't see that twist coming, eh America?!
@@hazukichanx408 Nothing can beat the twist of the Apprentice guy being America's president 😂😂😂😂
@@hazukichanx408 you know nothing about EVM right see how EVM 3 the latest model works. It's absolutely no way you can tamper them
@Eraiyanbu Vetrivel - I know awful people use this as an excuse for their awfulness far too often, but that really was just a joke on my part. See, 'cause Shyamalan has roots in India, and the person was saying "We Indians could let you borrow our voting machines." And Shyamalan is known for twists in his stories. That said, it sounds like their voting machines work better than those in the US, so I hope people more broadly adopt the system that works better (for the people, I mean, not the potentially tamper-happy politicians).
Better to just donate it to them since india politics is super corrupt.
Ronny: *speaks chinese*
Captions: (sPeAkiNG mALaYsiAN)
well, he is basically speaking Malaysian Chinese.
Mandarin Chinese with a Malaysian accent
@@troy5094 and _few_ changes with the strokes and pronunciation.
that’s why I said “accent” haha
@@troy5094 yup.
lol chinese cursing, i'm so surprised lol
he's our Malaysian homeboy! ayyyyy
lots people from Malaysia can speak Chinese, up until now, i thought he was Chinese, XD
Dong Yang and then you have those weird cunts around KL who can't speak Mandarin, but can speak Malay, English and Cantonese...
Dong Yang are you from Malaysia?
dude, what he said is actually chinese...
'(SPEAKING MALAYSIAN)'
It's freaking Mandarin. Malaysia is a multi-language speaking country yo.
Indeed he is speaking Malaysian! He's Mandarin speaking malaysian🤣🤣🤣
@@shadowax97 is he from malaysia?
A Johor born man, migrate to Australia then to US
Immanuel Chen he spoke Mandarin.
@@afiqhasim958 Yes, from JB but educated in Singapore from Primary School to Junior College.
6000 dollars...wtf...come to india and vote
lol that would be cheaper plus they can spend a month in goa...
In the UK you use a sheet of paper and a pen/pencil
why can't they just ask apple to make voting apps and just make people vote using their phone? or provide the phone at voting station??
This is prove how corrupt the government is. 6000 dollar on a voting machine?? someone is embezzling.
Or import machines from India.
The voting machines from India have been proven to be broken. Actually, the first voting machines that are safe to use for voting haven't even been invented yet.
I wanted to die, while laughing at the 56k v.92 modem. Granted those were basically the top of the line data communication device way back in the day, but Ronny's reaction was dead on.
What happened to the old fucking cross in a box on a paper? You know, like most of the rest of the world? Like in Europe and stuff?
Hanging chads.
that's too socialist, I guess ;-)
If I can register my car online, pay my taxes online, apply for a mortgage online, why the funk can't I vote online?
Thomas Wyrick
One reason would be that it has rarely worked well in terms of security, data integrity, accountability, documentation etc.
The one particular problem with voting in contrast to all the other transactions you name is that voting is supposed to be anonymous. This makes fraud a whole lot easier than with, say, your taxes or mortgage.
+Thomas Wyrick Voting online would be awful. It is a lot easier to commit fraud if you can do it online.
why do you need a voting machine? whats wrong with people counting the votes like other countries? I never had to wait to be able to vote.
In country like India due to its huge population and strict deadlines set to declare results with a month, electronic voing machine or EVMs ( as they call it in india) are need of the time. Countries with less population can always avoid it but not india or USA.
+ Archana Shah
Thats not really true. I live in Germany and they count all the results on the day/night of the election. And while India is definitely a lot bigger than Germany and has very different issues, the US is only about 4 times as big and I don't really see why counting wouldn't work there.
There might still be a case for voting machines (I honestly have no idea) but I wouldn't say that is one of them.
The size of the population should matter very little. You always count locally.
Hi from india initially when voting machine introduced (back in 2004) people mostly political raises concern of counting being rigged, but with robust reform from separate electorate committee and their supervision its now done effectively. and now even small district elections use these machine.
Abhijeet Sharma I haven't seen them used in real life, but as far as I know. No machine has been qualified as secure by experts. I have great doubt that it's possible.
" 他妈的，有没有搞错啊” hahahahaha, LOL. He's so cute 😂😂😂
chinese not malaysian though
Yeah, but he is a Malaysian Chinese.
SpectreHD To be specific, a Chinese Malaysian Australian LOL
Han Annie wow shit! You are cute too!
What does it say? I only recognize the "your" characters.
Ronny Chieng is my favorite Dailyshow correspondent 🤣🤣🤣
3:53 When he dry humped the machine...I lost it!
This hasn't aged well
Trevor, like you said: "sometimes, people f*ck up"
MALAYSIA BOLEH! This guy is amazing
I like this correspondent a lot!
Makes me laugh every time I hear Americans boast about their democracy and freedoms. Do they not realise?
fallyhag you clearly don’t talk to Americans
Makes me laugh too and I'm American
Uhhhh... maybe you should speak to some real Americans? Most people dont act like that lmao
Haha this guys awesome
+Travelin Taiwan He's originally from Malaysia and migrate to Australia.
*****
You're the one who start all these. If you don't want to be called as an asshole, stop calling other people as stupid. And don't comment if you know nothing.
*****
Defeat? I don't know how old are you kid, please stop being childish. We are talking about respect here. If you respect me, i respect you. That's all.
*****
Now this is called childish.
@cole christiansen 200th like!
It makes me think the presidential candidates love this kind of thing, someone set it up so less people vote less for their opponents.
depend on which group you are talking about. in america, republicans voting fraud even though it rarely happens and when we actually catch it, it's usually the republican who are doing it. on restricting vote, democrat is on the side of urging people to vote bc older people dont need to be urge to vote, they just do... but younger people (who usually vote for Democrats) need to be reminded to vote (they usually dont care). and republicans are the one who restrict voting (only for young voters/ working class people/ and poor minorities .. aka ppl who usually vote for Democrat) by using different type of tricks like making registration harder, closed dmv near election time (no way to register n no photo id, no vote!), etc.
You do understand that the voting machines are in poor wuality in swing states the exact states you dont want to risk vites not only that but thats extremly illegal and idiotic almost like your comment.
So awesome to have a Malaysian correspondent on the Daily Show!
"great we have your 1960s microwaves" lmfao hahahahaaaa that killed me
Who’s laughing their asses off in 2021??
I was in the Netherlands at the time, sitting in the canteen in the college campus.
A German friend of mine came to me.
“Trump was elected!”
“What!?”
“Some black folks from the south voted Trump!” His mother is from democratic republic of Congo btw... so he really paid lots of attention to the voting turnout in the US south.
He continued, “Trump is racist man! Now he is the US president!”
See, this is how non-Americans care about American elections.
I’m not even from a democratic country.
Because of that I know how valuable it is to have the rights to vote.
Yet...
Btw the UK beat the US in terms of “voting rationally”...
Thanks for the up date
Support from Malaysian-Chinese here!
We just use paper and counters in South Africa. There are statistical grouping techniques you can use to filter for wrongly counted votes, and if there's a shred of doubt about a batch it gets recounted. Still less susceptible to corruption than digital votes.
Wow I am surprised to see a Malaysian in the show. All the best to Ronnie in US!
this is hillarious!..shout out from malaysia!..
Ronny Chieng's standard Chinese curses drew me here 3:05 rotfl
LOL did he really curse in Chinese 😂
Its Mandarin.
....which is chinese...
Kazuya Mishima chinese isn't technically a language...
testenten
Hmmm... I don't know about that. I mean no person speaking the language would refer to it as chinese but whether it's mandarin, cantonese or shanghainese it's all basically the same language with the same words just pronounced slightly differently and written slightly differently like british and american english. But It's still all technically the same language so yea, I'd call it chinese...
I mean in the end mandarin is just a dialect and not the actual language...
Nah he swore in Spanish.
I lost it when he bursted into malaysian when he saw the 56k modem.
Peter Gašperan dude that was chinese
@@johnvilmore261 oh, ok, by bad
@AreLee Saidi more like 65 percent (two thirds) now or at least feels like it in major cities of malaysia.
UA-cam on any video: *SHOWS RECENT COMMENTS*
UA-cam on Liberal Media content that describes the voting scenario in 2020: *4 YEAR OLD COMMENTS*
After seeing this video 😂😂 I m proud of my Indian voting Machines 👌
The native language swearing was priceless
Let's educate the comment section on Malaysia. Malaysia is home to many ethnicities and traces, thus many languages. Chinese/mandrian is not a language only used in China, it is also widely used in Taiwan, singapore and Malaysia. But that doesn't mean the entire country speaks one language only. Some do speak their native tongues, like Cantonese, Hokkien, Teochew and there are loads of Malaysia Muslims like speak Malay language. And many people in these countries are multilingual or at least bilingual. Just FYI.
Love and respect for Malaysia🇲🇾 from Pakistan 🇵🇰
You guys are close to 1 million Im soooooooooooooooo excited
i died at 3:05 LOLOL some people know what i mean
Translate
+Stanley Gao hahaha dead
+Thuto Molefi He said "Wow, what the fuck, are you kidding me? You guys are actually using this crap?" .
+Stanley Gao i was crackin' up like damn he's about to ruin his world right now haha
+Stanley Gao yea LOL at 3:05 as well.there's nothing like cursing in mandarin, can feel his angst.
Ronny Chieng is awesome! This segment was amazing and entertaining.
Flash forward to 2020. Can we PLEASE vote by mail now?!
He is from Malaysia! Good job man. Proud of you!
"Oh my god. Are you guys kidding me? How can you even use any of these pieces of shit?" Rough translation of what he said.
Omg lol the swearing part omg I can’t breath
I just voted in PA and the reps there said, "Oh don't use that machine, its really frustrating.". So I move on to the next one and another guy goes, "eh try the other one, this one is no good" ...
Out of the 3 machines where I went to vote only 2 worked, and only 1 was actually reliable.
Amazing video. satisfying to watch this.
3:06 the man's face when Chieng started speaking a foreign language😂😂😂
We use EVM it is more advanced than ballet system of USA and we also has election commission which organise it very well
when he started in chinese i lost it. i hear it alot in singapore too. didnt know ronnie is malaysian! super fan !
great work, machines and competent people...
it was funny then, it's even worse now.
Why is it that people who aren't actually from the US are the best at trying to solve its problems?
And why is it that a comedy show does a better job at showing us problems then regular mainstream news?
Ronnie Chieng is a fucking God! Hilarious!
You know what does work?
Paper
💕❤💕 the daily show ❤💕❤ you guys are awesome. Live long!
As a Singaporean Chinese, i burst out laughing at 3:06
Ronny Chieng is a Malaysian Chinese, he was swearing in Chinese, with a strong Malaysian / Singaporean accent.
Contrary to the Subtitles caption, there's no language known as Malaysian.
Translation: Wow, His mother! Are you for real? This kinda crap you dare to use?!
tbh he does have the same accent as many people in Fujian province.
Ya true its called malay
He lived in Singapore for a period of time as well.
Google Assistant just told me there is Malay and Malaysian that is speaked over there
@@monopalisa619 Yeah well, there's a lot of Hokkien people in Malaysia.
When he starts curing in Chinese lol
Should be cursing not curing
Wow! Ronny Chieng is from Maĺaysia. I ive in Selangor Malaysia. Best wishes Ronny. Enjoyed your jokes. They are great. The one on Evagelists wanting private jets was hillarious.
Ronny Chieng is my new favorite correspondent.
Some info about voting machines used in India (I am Indian btw): They are cheap, durable, reusable dozens of times, and Election Commission of India regularly organizes events to challenge to hack these machines. As they are not too complex, they are till now 'unhacked'.
Dude you're breaking this guy's heart.
Yoooo I didn't know that Ronny has connections in Malaysia 😂😂 love from Singapore 🙆♂️
WOW! How is this going nowadays? I thought that such kind of corrupcy and burocracy was just in Brazil. Terrible!
That chinese sentence makes me die laughing...
It troubled me that he didn't say "la" in any of his sentences.
+Alladin Jaafar LOL
hahaha
American won't get it
la
That for $6000 line, with the action was priceless
Every day I learn more over USA political and burocratic system thanks to Comedy Show. Cheers.
Why not U.S. adapt the voting machines (EVM) from India? It works fine!
+Arjun Krishnamurthy It's a giant criminal enterprise and democracy has been turned into a side show.
+despairedboy Sadly this is true for a lot of people in America. A lot of people just see everything that is imported from another country as trash that will immediately break. I love America but we like all countries have a lot of issues and most presidents just pass these issues along to the next president and then the next president and so on and so forth. So a lot of pressing issues don't get dealt with until they are almost no longer an issue just because congress debates everything for about 20 years and then when it is finally passed they have to implement it unless the president vetoes it and it's just a mess all the way around.
+Arjun Krishnamurthy ur expecting a lot from these dummies brother ...:)
Arjun Krishnamurthy I don't know man, If Modi gets reelected in 2019. Then I think it'll be better for my conscience to believe our voting machines are broken.
Otherwise it would mean I'm gonna be lynched soon, for allegedly eating beef or something.
My dad is Chinese and wouldn’t buy anything that was made in China but would gladly buy stuff made in the USA.
What does this tell you? He doesn’t want cheap garbage.
Just get a bunch of cheap iPads or something similar, give like 20 to each polling station. Put a program that registers the votes for that voting place, then, when all the voting ends, the voting stations text the results to the news people to tell america.
Not safe in the least, nor does it print off a record of the vote that can be used for manual recounts.
*sigh* America's infrastructure and government tech is SO BEHIND.
Yay Ronnie...! Malaysia represent...!
can't we tax the campaigns and use that money for voting equipment?
But how would that benefit the rich though? If it doesn't benefit them why would they do it? I think you forgot this is murica
are these machines really needed? can't they just print fliers with the candidates names on it and have voters draw a cross on it?
They’re 110 million voters so that would be pretty much impossible
@@buzzlightyear1010 they do it in Italy, Germany, and pretty much the entire world.
@@arx3516 in Italy and Germany they don’t have 110 million voters like us. In fact the amount of voters we have is more then they’re entire population. Plus loving to paper would mean we would have to cut thousands more trees which is something most people don’t want to happen if it’s not necessary
Bring Rony over for more skits! That guy is awesome!
He's my favourite Daily Show correspondent
no one mentioning this now lol
VOTING SYSTEM IN INDIA IS SO HIGH-TECH. I PROUD TO BE INDIAN.🙏
I loved his Mandarin breakout 😂
this guy is great!!!
Can someone just make an app so I can vote from my phone?
+CCTV9 Yeah but what if it's hacked, hackers could literally choose who runs the country
+CCTV9 we cant vote yet in hk but sometimes we run voting simulations to see what the populace is thinking
n its done on an app
+CCTV9 Considering they won't even let you vote with a birth certificate, what makes you think they will let you vote over the internet?
+CCTV9
Oh, yeah. I'm sure whoever makes that app will have no bias in the elections. And they will write the perfect app that can't be hacked. And the security company they consult with won't have any incentive to skew elections, and will be completely unbribable.
I mean, companies already spend billions of dollars to influence the elections here in America. How could they possibly have any reason to hack one little app on your phone?
APaleDot If the Gov't can make and secure the app by itself then it might be possible...
Well, I'm willing to solve the problem for a fraction of the cost: Use fucking paper, a pen, and a box. You're welcome.
When he left malaysia, his accent changed a little bit like singaporean accent
Ronny rules!
1:40 - In Oregon we vote in the mail. wtf are they talking about lol
none of this problems exist in 2020 according to Trevor Noah.
Ronny Chieng rocks!!!
What makes the bit at 3:00 even funnier is when the guy's voice broke when he mentioned it was a friggin 56k dial up modem.
I died laughing. Ahh Refreshing Truth about our country.
Who else got this in their recommendation? 😂
He should testify for Trump in the court, if any is remaining yet > LOL
It’s 2 years ago, but I watch for Ronnie Chang
Ronny chieng the legend ♥️