Hello! My friend Hannah and I started a podcast :) it's called Rehash, and it's all about social media phenomenons that once took the world by storm, only to be quickly forgotten! We're releasing episodes weekly, which you can find here (and wherever you get your podcasts): anchor.fm/rehashpodcast
I think there is something to be said about female friendships and proximity. SATC made a lot of women believe their friends would always be there, and didn't anticipate the isolation caused by social media, the transience created by an unstable western economy and the loneliness of online dating. That's why it feels nostalgic to me. Big and Carrie talking on a landline phone, no texting, no photos to stalk it feels completely foreign now. I notice that most coming of age female drama shows have one protagonist who has one close friend and that's it. The individualism spoken about during the commentary went into overdrive in the 2010s.
@Erwin Lii Yes i think girls was realistic on this point, there were many seasons where the girls were not speaking to each other or in active conflict. When the main character becomes pregnant she moves away to the suburbs, which is realistic, whereas Miranda's life doesn't change much when she has Brady (not realistic). By the end of girls every one has pretty much gone their separate ways. Friendships are more peripheral and tenuous now.
@@christieomojo Honestly, the female friendships in Girls was one of the things that made it impossible for me to watch the show. I don't find it a realistic portrayal at all. It is true that, when getting older, the quantity of female friendships diminishes and changes, but that is not necessarily the case for the quality. Girls loved focussing on the cliché that woman are actually incapable of being friends with each other, because we are either too self-involved or are competing for male attention. Apparently we are all secretly waiting to stab each other in the back. Of course none of the male characters have this problem (except when they're gay). God, that show was barely trying to hide its cynicism about women.
it's actually the main reason i hate the very end so much. it shouldn't have been Mr Big it should've been the girls showing up in Paris to be with her.
The “maybe we could be each other’s soulmates” line from Charlotte will always bring me to tears. I think it’s truly how many of us feel about our friendships. Especially as we get older and have failed relationship, after failed relationship. You realize love and intimacy does not have to be physical to be profound and special.
Miranda being excited to take a break from motherhood for a few days is not selfish. Usually men do it all the time, leaving all the work to the mothers and not being judged. I think the series showed perfectly the struggle to not leave your "personhood" for being a mother in the face of Miranda.
@@claudiatonietto128that is actually also very realistic. I don’t want to come across as a bad person, I understand that children are the most important humans in their parents’ lives, but as friend without any kids I think it’s important to meet your friends without the kids. Even it’s once in a few months. And in case of satc with their lifestyle the kid was a burden.
@@natalyamartirosyan kind of proving her individualism point perfectly there...humans reproduce. it changes people. why would you expect your friends to prioritise you over their literal offspring??
I'm a mother, and I agree that children being a burden to a friend group can be 100% realistic. When you have to do every single activity with your child glued to your side (for lack of financial resources, or other reasons) that is a burden. It's not enjoyable at all. It was a relief for me to see that represented in SATC because there's this implicit pressure for mothers to want to hang out with their children 24/7 and that's just beyond unrealistic. A lot of moms love and genuinely enjoy devoting their every hour to their children and that's awesome, but it doesn't come naturally to every single mother out there.
Capitalism stripping us from values is tiny compared to socialism, and even worse, compared to communism. Take it from someone who had seen the decay of her beloved country along with its values and all its meaning.
Wow. How can I say this in a civil way? I don't mean to offend... Try living one week under the OPPRESSIVE, Totalitarian Chinese Communist regime if you wanna see what Really kills the soul. Being treated like a slave by a left-fascist regime. I don't mean to insult or provoke anyone with this comment. I used to hate capitalism too. It was a long road of study and disillusionment with Marxism that changed my perspective drastically.
Sex and the City serves as a very peculiar expression of time. Like it can be so very backwards, outdated and primitive while simultaneously existing in a time ahead of its own and has sense of "end of times" looming over it. Like time is circular as apposed linear and this show exists at the one point where the circle of time begins and ends. This is especially potent in how the women of the show seem to age without growing. Hope it makes sense.
I actually find our Sex and the City protagonists to be realistically flawed characters. They are driven,beautiful and intelligent. They at least hetero love each other. They are also vain,unwise,selfish and materialistic. They have external ethics barrowed from an ideal of 90's New York,but it's not really from them internally. It's largely an accident that they are such realistically neutral characters,but it's fascinating.
I agree. It kind of wouldn’t have worked if they were perfectly unproblematic? It’s a character study. It’s art, which shouldn’t be sterile. It’s not meant to be a moralistic guide on how to live.
@@laurakibben4147 for sure, as a native new yorker who was in her 20s in the 90s living in manhattan I can attest that this is pretty specific to the show. the vibe doesnt carry over to chicago, l.a. or SF or tampa all of which Ive visted or lived in. every other city with maybe the exception of LA is pretty tiny compared to NYC. you can kind of lose yourself in nyc in a way and this anonymity promotes a kind of vanity and hyperindividualism and self absorption and self indulgence that's almost impossible to stop.
This is exactly what I think whenever I see videos calling the show toxic. These characters are flawed, troubled, biased, wrong, right, etc. Just like the rest of us. If someone made a show about ANY of us, we would all be “toxic” too, because not one of us is a perfect comic book hero, with zero flaws. We do and say fucked up shit the entirety of our lives. SATC reflected a time and a place, and the people in it with all their flaws.
This is why is dislike the discourse that paints Carrie as the devil and Samantha as the “real protagonist” and better friend. They all have their flaws. I love Carries selfishness, her cheating, her carelessness. I love that they don’t backtrack on it at the end of each episode, she is just so human. Still a funny interesting person and a good friend, just a character who the writers were actually unafraid to make human.
As someone who wrote a critical analysis essay on Fukuyama’s end of history and binged all of sex and the city this year, this video feels like it was made for me
I am so upset to learn that the original endgame for Carrie was for her to still be single. That truly would have been revolutionary for a show with a female lead, and a show with the kind of following SaTC had, for Carrie to go an entire series and not come out in a relationship (even if that relationship is bad/toxic [and as an aside, I have never been happy that Carrie ends up with Big]).
I feel differently. Carrie should have remained single because she scared of commitment. She wants to play house not have a real marriage. I hope Big fucks around on her in the new series - give Carrie the toxic dose she needs to realize she wasted so much time and energy on such a loser.
Perhaps because in the real world, a woman cannot be married without children and she was never going to be cut out for that even if she hadn't have ended up with Big?
@@witchplease9695Does stating the obvious make you feel smart sherlock? You do realize you're defending freedom of speech while condemning me for using it at the same time right? I wasn't saying I didn't like her or what she says. I notice her everywhere I go. Calm down stan, your parasocial relationship is a little creepy. I recommend going outside, enjoy the sunshine. Vitamin D plays a role in brain development and function.
The abortion episode has been on my mind lately. Fiction mostly treats abortion as a single right or wrong answer in the ethical context of the narrative. SANC does not, it shows that all choises are fine. They are choises. Life goes on. Whatever you think is right for you, there you are.
Okay first, I have to say I cried while watching this during the section talking about SATC being about friendship. A big part of why it was so good is because it was very sentimental. Also, it feels like the current day media has that same brand of being so out of touch with the average 20-40yr old’s actual experience with capitalism and consumerism. Or it at least feels incredibly distant from a life like mine, a service industry worker or somebody who makes less than $50k a year.
Hard Agree. It seems to be taken for granted in current media that everyone is at least middle class enough to never talk about bills. I was so excited when the mom in One Day at a TIme reboot had car problems like finally! an actual situation that I find very real and stressfull and would love to feel the relief of laughing about it. That made the show even more relatable even though this family looks nothing like mine.
The mainstream media are mostly about promoting advertisers’ products (including “lifestyles”) to the subset of the public that can afford them. That’s why the media always showcase the more prosperous sector of each generation. Every now and then it looks like the media are starting to “see” the new crop of struggling young (and not so young) adults. This group is acknowledged in a magazine article here and a show like “Rent” there. But this fad never lasts very long. We soon hear that the latest young-and-struggling crowd are starting to “make it” after all, to buy at least some luxury goods and services, and then to buy homes and raise kids. Then we no longer hear about those in that age group who still haven’t made it-who have been left behind. What happened to the Chandlers and Rachels and Phoebes who still don’t have lucrative careers, or the Hannah Horvaths who never got permanent teaching jobs, or the Carrie Bradshaws who never got a book deal? We’ll never know- because the corporate media will never give us that TV series.
“Paranoid Reading”… what a term. Thank you so, so much for pinning this conundrum down and introducing me to it. Your content continues to be absolutely phenomenal.
As a cis gay man who was in his 20s in the 90s and living in a major and majorly cynical US city, my personal experience of SATC as I consumed it in its original run was to see the problematic stuff in real time but to still feel that overall the show expressed many things that my friends both queer and heterosexual were grappling with. I still cherish it while seeing its deep flaws. That second movie though...ugh.
i agree with the shoe situation though. keira blaming carrie for not having kids and putting herself up on a pedestal because she has children and 'reposnsibilities' is just ridiculous.
Yep. I might personally believe that paying that much for shoes is ridiculous, but if I were lose someone's shoes like that, I'd reimburse them, simply because I'd be pissed off to throw everything and anything that would hurt them right back in their face if they did something like that with something I liked and bought/created.
@@irondragonmaiden Even then, it's fine if you're not in a spot to be able to pay for the shoes...but it's something you could at least feel kind of guilty about. If you possess enough arrogance to default to an extremely patronizing and condescending insult towards your friend, in the name of absolving yourself, that's just you being shitty.
I've been mostly sleepwalking the last months in an effort to avoid pain and the world around me - I even literally slept most of the day today and it felt marvelous to simply not be. This video definitely helped me realize something, not sure exactly what yet, but it was extremely well done and thanks for this nuanced critique on a piece of media that I love myself but also have some issues with in retrospect.
@@elizabethbennet4791 My partner of 10 years left me a few months before I was going to propose to him and then my mother died about a month ago. It's been a bad year. But there are some positive developments happening now it seems...thank you for asking.
I watched SATC growing up, and will always be grateful for its core message: You are *enough*. You don't have to be *perfect*. The most important relationship in your life is your (chosen) *family*. Just two years ago we saw Cynthia Nixon's rendition of Rainville's 'Be a lady they said', which only confirms the timelessness of these lessons. They offer a comfort that helps be at peace with yourself, and then in turn have more love and energy to give to others. It's a huge shame that the writers were blind to how universal this lesson is - the proper inclusion and representation of LGBTQ+ and BIPOC in SATC would have made it 'even more' New York, and just so,so powerful.
the thing about sex and the city is that basically they try the whole series to not be like their mothers, but end up pretty much the same. in my opinion, they tried to subvert probably something they saw it in their own homes but like you said, didnt realize how lonely that could be. they "failed" to find new forms of relationships and communities, even within themselves (they never helped each other familywise, babysitting or cooking etc). they were still very conservative in terms of human relationships, they fell for the same pattern in the end: straight couple, nuclear family. i think samantha was the only one that tried to expand her horizon.
Have I watched a single episode of Sex and the City? Nope! I've never watched Love Island either, but I've watched Broey Deschanel's video about that franchise multiple times because I adore the way Broey dissects media! Excited to buckle in for this!!!
YES the Love Island one roped me in, had never seen the show but love a good sociological dissection of mass media, esp reality shows since it's the rawest form. She has the best vid essays
Wow the way you tied in 9/11 was powerful and made me emotional. I’m a late 90s baby but the youngest in my family with boomer parents. Us Muslims in America often talk about 9/11 as a turning point in which our racialized ion happened. When looking at history that is clearly inaccurate but I see a connection between the 90s ahistorical attitude and that perception. . .lots to reflect on with this video. I watched the entire SATC series during my senior year of college as a way to get excited about the “next phase” of my life. A bit funny because I’m not a rich white woman and can relate very little to this BUT it did give me the boost I needed not to feel awful about being a single Muslim gal leaving college. There’s so much to say about this!
Sex and the City presenting bisexuality as a dishonest phase on the way to being gay or lesbian really did damage to my young bisexual psyche. It's a bummer to think of how easily they could have included an accurate depiction that would have lifted fans up instead of doing harm. The bi erasure is real.
@@JaiProdz I personally wasn’t a fan. They portrayed it as a phase because Samantha was bored with straight sex, and then she ended it because being with a woman got too “boring” because they spent too much time talking about their feelings.
@@JaiProdz I mean it wasn’t really bisexuality, and her sexuality was pretty ambiguous. There was a line “try-sexual” IMO I think Samantha was pretty fluid and didn’t have a rigid sense of sexuality. I’ve watched the episode multiple times of her lesbian partner, and it was kind of just another partner. Her friends made jokes but she seemed okay with it (minus her using the strap 😂)
That clip was one of my early introductions to the show and shut me down to it. I came out as Bi in 2012, and I get so frustrated at seeing it continuously sidelined, relegated to subtext, or rejected entirely.
This was a common misconception of bisexuality in the 90s; eventually a bisexual person would just become gay. Not to say this was correct thinking, but this was not out of the ordinary by any means. With time things change and people understand better. So yes, the show did perform bi erasure, but it wasn't malicious and was based off of the ignorance of the time period.
Helloooo! I just wanted to clarify (as I do in the pinned comment of literally every video at this point lol), that I don't love the word "paranoid" to describe the critical phenomenon that Sedgwick is talking about. But alas, that is her descriptor for it! I just think "paranoid" has a relatively derogatory/dismissive connotation. Correction for the correction: Sônia Braga is BIPOC. Anyways, would love to hear all your thoughts about reparative/paranoid reading and what you all think is the best practice for analyzing media these days! There's definitely no cut and dry solution I think. Do you think reparative readings are helpful - or do they gloss over criticism?
I think you did a great job on a reparative reading, I hadn't heard of that specific term before this video but that's how I like to analyze and interpret the media I consume and create, I think reparative readings can only be truly reparative if they (like you did) acknowledge the shortcomings of the piece of media and recognize the negative or problematic aspects while not discounting the positive ones, and just allowing the viewer or reader to decide what they think of the piece as a whole, just point out a lot of the more interesting details. love the work y'all are doin, keep up the good job y'all!
I think context is everything, it’s easy to “cancel” things because of their problems viewed with modern lenses. Yes of course it’s not right those issues occurred in the first place but it also shows the commonplace acceptance of such issues. I think seeing those commonplace issues and seeing how unacceptable they are at present allows for discussion of further growth. Change is frustratingly slow and widespread acceptance takes time and is influenced by politics. I think you are right in that nothing we consume media wise is apolitical, cultural commentary within the frame of the show is always going to be socio-political in nature. I think overall we have to be conscientious that of course what we find acceptable at present may not be in the future and strive not to critique not for what it’s lacking alone but what the overall themes and messages are. Most importantly I think it time we let those marginalized have their own voices and opportunities to express experiences and views in the media too. It clearly influences what society thinks is acceptable overall and can lead to change.
I always thought Charlotte existed in this show so that the male partners of the women watching this show had something to care about. She was the only one that was likeable.
Lol spoil all of it for me cause i doubt i being a Black cishet man would watch it out of my own volition (no knocks to those that have) but i do desperately wanna know why it was so influential
Black cisgay over here it true there’s nothing “for me” obviously in SATC but that didn’t really stop me from watching (and mostly loving) it. Perhaps it is because I was still consuming tv media even when people like me were explicitly invisible in it during this era. The overt materialistic, often racist, often homophobic, explicitly transphobic, xenophobic moments easily referenced and written about are definitely a thing but as Maia points out it’s also earnest, and relatable and right up to the end it complicates the women at the center of the story. Of course the dynamic of unyielding friendship in the face of utterly dehumanizing systems Carrie’s throughout the entire series. That same dynamic has been explored repeatedly in shows before SATC (Living Single) to shows came after that kept that structure after it like Noah’s Arc or even Insecure and that makes me love SATC more. I figure it’s because it *feels good* and it’s relatable and I am disinclined to dismiss something wholesale because it looks like it isn’t for me.
Now THIS is a video essay! After rewatching SATC in my mid 20's I've been yearning for a real critique and analysis around each character and the overall show. Thank you thank you thank you! I absolutely loved the conclusion where you commented on our relationship with old media and reparative reading. It is extremely important to critique all the media that we consume from a social and political lens but it is also just as important to apply context and acknowledge what the media achieved so we can learn from it and move forward.
For me Carrie ending up with Big does make sense as it, probably, can only do in fiction. I see Carrie as romantic, not the type that Charlotte is as I find her to be quite grounded in her desires for a life, but in the sense of the 19th century art movement. Everything is so grand and so deeply entwined with one's feelings, or better emotions that those become the main driving force behind one's actions. Carrie had the type of connection with Big that many do dream of so for her letting him go and make a healthy choice is impossible, because he is what she craves even at the determent of her mental health. And yes that isn't a good choice, but in fiction it makes sense. So it was simply the kind of happy ending people often hope for, to end up with the person we love and for those lovers to grow in personality
I do see SATC as one of my problematic fave shows. The reason why I come back to it because at its core its about the importance of friendship and how these women created a family with each other.
I’m a 38 year old woman and have been programmed to cry whenever Mirandas moms funeral, Carries inconvenient love speech or the song “You’ve got the love” is referenced🥺 I’ll never know how my tackling of adolescence, adulthood and womanhood would have differed without SATC, but I’m glad it was there for me, no matter how problematic and cringe it would be if I were to revisit it now. Not a chance by the way, which makes me all the more thankful for thoughtful and nuanced video essays such as these☺️ You look good in a tutu skirt and lit up on a park bench Broey! And that Nomi painting is awesome🍔💎
commentary channels that make me tear up bc of how well they convey their thoughts and opinions in not only respectful ways but highly entertaining >>> that ending part was amazing, some of my fav work from you, your videos just are so thoughtful every single time. amazing work dude!
You encapsulate what's so wonderful about the show (for all its very real and serious faults), and it reminded me how fantastic the four female leads were at embodying these different parts of ourselves.
I must say that I never agreed with comments that Carrie character was so wrong and unlikeble. That she should be better. For me it was the opposite. I loved Carrie the most when she was in wrong, when she was full of shame, when she made awful mistakes, pity things. Because that was making her a human, you know? Real woman. Because very often in movies women are there to be perfect. Loving support, innocent, pure, moral ground for male protagonists, saints. And there she is: Carrie. Who sometimes is an awful friend or girlfirend and still she is forgiven for it most of the time. We have impossible high moral standard for women and I feel tired thinking about it. That i'm a bad person because i'm not people pleasing enough, I dont like sacrifice for others every-freakin-day. We needed this shows where women were selfish, selfcentered, funny and making huge mistakes because sometimes we are exactly that. And because of that I love SATC.
I loved the show in the early 2000's. Hasn't aged very well, but is still entertaining. I got to meet Cynthia Nixon on her run for governor in upstate NY who I had A huge crush on as A teen.
I watch re-runs of Sex and the City now as comfort watch as it reminds me of better times. It's a fairytale I can escape to from the deep horrors of my anxiety, disillusionment with today's feminism and LGBTQ activism (some of it is progress, some of it regressive like the show itself) and to also scrub out the stench of its abysmal reboot And Just Like That. It offers the glitz and glamour of fashion, going out and feeling sexy in your own body, and not have to rely on anyone. And also, the complexities and love of female friendships.
This is a fascinating look at a show I am only now beginning to understand and appreciate. I grew up in an intellectual household, and SATC was something both of my parents dismissed (and I dismissed by example) as vapid and, as you say, "un-feminist" or post-feminist. But now I am a relatively independent woman with a stable-if-uninspiring job, looking for love and friendship. I don't want children, like most of the main cast, and I'm already jaded to the dating scene despite having relatively little experience: it's overwhelming and terrifying. I'm decidedly an idealist, but I understand losing one's faith in love. I'm white, my family is part of the fading middle class, but I myself am only one paycheck away from destitution (as many people are nowadays). I also love shoes and fashion and spending frivolously (to the chagrin of my bank account) in a desperate attempt to fill the void with tchotchkes and books about how to Be Better. There's something comforting about these women who are like me in many ways. Maybe, if they succeeded, I can too.
I watched SATC a few years ago as a 'guilty pleasure' but re watched it this year guilt free. It may not be my favourite but it struck a chord with me and left a mark. Somehting in how I view my life and ambitions, how I'm living my 20s. It didn't change my life completely but it's always at the back of my mind.
thank you for such a thoughtful, careful and complex reading of this show. there was a lot this show did for women when it came to talking about female desire. we can take those elements and consider the mistakes too and what we can learn from them. i also like how they show the messiness that happens in your romantic relationships as just life circumstances get in the way. Charlotte and Harry trying to adopt. Samantha having cancer. And most notably, Miranda uprooting her life in Manhattan and ultimately becoming a caregiver of her husband's mother. Magda tells her, "What you did, that's love." is one of my favorite from the show. Because it is. Having a life with someone isn't really romantic declarations on bridges in Paris. Life is messy and painful. Sometimes love doesn't survive these huge life struggles. But without love underneath, the relationship wouldn't last at all. And the friendship between the women, god I have so much to say about that too.
Good stuff. There's an episode in the Sopranos where Tony goes to the university that Meadow wants to go to and donates a large amount of money. This was probably a shocking scene at the time, or could be written off as mafia drama fiction. We find out later that it's true with the testing scandals. Before that, the media would have you believe that people went to Ivy League schools because they were smart, not because of corruption or family legacy. There's a certain arrogance with people who move to New York to improve their careers and then pretend they're Manhattan natives and that there's no better place. I imagine these are the people that end up writing shows like this. During the time it was popular to write characters as Ivy League educated, living in unaffordable places, and having a lifestyle relegated to a few. I imagine that many in the audience were less put off by it and perhaps saw this as an aspirational lifestyle, with the show providing some escapism. In other words, they saw less of the metacommentary and took it more at face value, at least initially. It's possible that the show was smarter than what we see, it's also possible that the writers thought they were being progressive but had massive blinders in certain areas. Keep in mind that post cold war, it was still a bit taboo to talk about Marxism and other political theories other than Keynesian economics.
Not related to postfeminism but... I always felt like we misjudged Big. Yeah, he's not perfect, he cheated on his wife, he has troubles communicating but we are repeatedly forced to see him as a villain because he can't commit to Carrie. Which how is that a bad thing? Especially, considering that we are given an explanation for why Big can't commit - he is traumatized by his previously failed messy marriage. Commitment issues are not a sign of moral failure. You are not a bad person if you can't commit. It's like Carrie wants to see Big as someone he's not, and then gets pissed when she's met with real Big who can't return her love. It feels like Big was a villain because he wasn't able to love Carrie back the way she wanted him to. And when you say it like that it becomes apparent that maybe nobody here is a villain, and Carrie should have just moved on.
@@louisekenn517 yeah. There are still valid iffy things about Big that could be portrayed as villainous (like manipulating and threatening Carrie to come clean to his wife about their affair) but my problem is that we are not encouraged to see him as a villain because of these things but because he can't commit to Carrie. Like "threaten me, manipulate me if you want but please love me or I'll hate you". Das weird.
@@louisekenn517 do you know ANY woman that can and does?? Lol!! Single since 94 and still laughing hilariously and quietly at all the poor guys dragging solemnly behind the nagging cow and bawling brats spending his pay in any big box store.
I planned on only watching the first five minutes of this but ended up watching the whole thing. Between the research, the sequencing, and the presentation, you're incredible at what you do.
Hey, queen! Girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for all of us and doing it flawlessly. No seriously, your video essays are amazing. It‘s like reading a college paper but with imagery and easier language. If you ever publish a collection of essays I would be happy to purchase one 😇
this was so well done! feel like i've learned so much. talking about the show itself: it kind of makes me glad to see it hasn't 'aged well' - it's a sign of progress and it makes me happy to feel myself cringing at some of the parts because it means we've evolved and we're better. being able to recognise the problematic parts allows me to enjoy the actual beauty of the show - my most meaningful friendships with two of my closest friends is based so heavily on what we saw and learned from SATC. even though we're women in our early 20s, we've caught ourselves in almost identical situations the SATC characters experience and it's helped us get through life together and from a strong, beautiful bond. "You've Got the Love" is our anthem and I have to thank this show, because I can go through life knowing I've got two soulmates locked down :)
The end of history is such a funny theory. Like, yeah this is good it will last forever !! Its like if the french in 1770 were like "nothing else will happen"
I think it's wrong to compare the immediate post cold war situation to 1770 France . In the 1990s what fukuyama wrote made obvious sense to many people . Western liberal capitalist democracies were the most prosperous places to exist . Non western prosperous nations like Japan and South Korea had also embraced this model while the only competitor to this , Soviet socialism had collapsed in a humiliating way . Other developing countries like India , china and Vietnam all three of which have been socialist states with planned economies ( india was not socialist but most of the economy was state controlled) started to embrace capitalism and experienced exponential economic growth that pulled millions of people out of poverty . This was the context in which fukuyama was talking about . Obviously he turned out to be wrong as China while accepted capitalism , did not accept democracy and this system of authoritarian state capitalism without democracy worked out pretty well for it . Then there was the great recession which weakened the economic prosperity of developed countries and now we have climate change .
It’s official: Broey Deschanel has the best song remixes I’ve ever encountered on UA-cam. My friend in Manhattan was proposed to in Central Park with live musicians playing “You’ve Got the Love”
The only reason I ever got into Sex and The City was because I was looking for something to binge watch after my first serious relationship ended to distract from my ~sorrows~ 😂 At the time I was still attending community college, living on the border of the poverty level and very, very queer. it had to be the least relatable show I could have gotten into but TBH that was kind of why I enjoyed it? For me it was almost like watching something sci-fi or fantasy with how alien these well-off white cis women were to my own lived experience, and seeing it in the early 2010s with no prior context made it feel like more of a period piece. I found i ended up connecting with different aspects here and there despite myself. So much of it is so incredibly dated, even harmful, I can't imagine how much harder that breakup would have been for me if I hadn't had it around as the tv equivalent of comfort food though. For all of its flaws I do think it was notable in terms of how much it attempted to normalize sex, both having it and frank discussions of it, especially in a nonmarital, non religious context. I also appreciated the end relationships of every major character save for Carrie, it really felt like everybody besides her experienced some genuine growth. Although frankly her and Big kind of deserved each other, lmao
I agree 💯 (I’m straight though) but being black and South African I really don’t relate to them in anyway. But that’s kinda what I like about it, guilty pleasure and a form of escapism. The same reason I love the modern family, they just comfort shows.
It's practically a soap opera. I watched it because I had time (pandemic) and was finally old enough to where I wouldn't have to switch the channel as someone walked in the room. I knew what it was, and was looking for something adult and light to watch. Seemed appropriate. I honestly had no idea they were only around half hr episodes because the glimpses I had always seemed so full... It seems that, outside of being a well-off hetero white cis woman, it's automatically a guilty pleasure because you're well aware of how unrelatable it is. It works so well as a fantasy because the ladies are practically caricatures that you build bittersweet love for - also Carrie's rent controlled apartment and blackhole of high-end fashion despite being one of the most financially irresponsible characters we may ever see on tv... They're all a mess in ways, but there are also pieces of their lives that we can all fantasize about (yes, even Charlotte's - in between the constant eyerolls). Many aspects of the show are also still uncommon to see. Pushing 30 myself, I'll always appreciate that we meet these characters in the age range that we do - the most lively and free of them all (Samantha) even significantly older! I'm really looking forward to the reboot, especially since they are more aware of where they failed the first time around. Very true too, Carrie and Big do deserve each other - I'm content knowing that they're happy playing hot potato with the BS.
in the best way possible, your analysis in this video helped me realise why i'm so desperately lonely and seeking, as carrie bemoaned, "real love: ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love," despite seemingly 'having it all', so thank you for this
"Dear funky spunk." Fave all-time line. Loved that Carrie smoked and oft fought for her right to. Superficiality aside and having lived in NYC in the mid-'90s, I saw the show as a multi-season video extension of Joan Didion's 'Goodbye to All That,' yes later "punctuated" by 9/11. Friendship, yes, and whatever happened to Skipper? Great take/post per always.
This was great, I especially loved the inclusion of Sedgwick. I see reparative reading as an important way forward for media criticism in the current hypocritical and self-consuming climate. Obviously recognizing issues in media is good, but over-reliance on that type of criticism kills the enjoyment of art and its complexities, and only allows for bland and inoffensive art (which often isn't actually unproblematic at all, rather just too shallow to critique). I like reparative reading's focus on the pleasure of the text; I don't think it glosses over problems in art, but rather acknowledges them as part of the experience.
I don't know but I loved Samantha, I wish to some day be as free as her. She booked a doctor's appointment for a nun (who she just met and didn't have anything in common) even though she didn't have, has never been judgy towards her friends, and even babysitted Brady as an act of love for Miranda. Yes, Sam had her flaws like how she dealt with trans people and her unability to really commit. BUT she do committed to someone, her friends
As an older millennial woman, I definitely struggle with sleepwalking through life. I’m aware I’ve done it for much of my life because I’m filled with a sense of hopelessness and powerlessness. I envy the SATC characters in the way they were apolitical and ignorant to the realities of what was happening in the world. It’s also why I, in a way, admired the protagonist of “My year of rest and relaxation.” The naive idea that you can be healed of your trauma and anxiety of the world, when really most of it stems from outside forces completely out of your control. It says a lot that my form of coping right after 9/11 was to go to the mall.
i envy them too. i can’t imagine how it feels to not have to worry about money, to have a group of close friends i see frequently, go shopping/out to eat on a regular basis, or just have a day where i’m not consumed with dread/depression/anxiety about the problems in my life, society, the country, the world, climate change etc. i joke that i’m a doomer but it honestly feels like death is looming around every corner- nukes, mass shootings, covid or the next pandemic. at the same time we still wake up every day and have to go through the motions like everything is normal. i just wanna know what it’s like to have things easy even if just for a day.
Much problematic, especially when viewed with a modern lens. But nonetheless groundbreaking at the time, and did push a lot of conversations and change our dialogues at the time (and moving forward). A lot. And as you say, this is why we are still talking about it (in video essays, in podcasts) today. Really enjoying 'And So I Got To Thinking', a podcast which unpacks each episode and see how it is now relevant (or Not) today. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I think any focus on the problematic elements of SATC forgets to consider the context of late-'90s broadcast television, and what the purpose of this show was at that time. Such a positive presentation of female sexuality was truly groundbreaking, and was in itself pushing the boundaries of what could be broadcast. For that to be possible, it needed to be aimed at a clear and large audience. From that perspective, if the creators had attempted to make a more broadly progressive show, they would have only succeeded in making a show that was too subversive to be broadcast in prime-time slots, and so would have achieved minimal if any impact on a broader cultural level. They had to pick their battle.
@@sainttheresetaylor2054 I'm not saying it's a bad thing 😂 I'm saying that society often mocks girls for liking shows that revolve around girls in their 20s and their dating lives but these shows and films often end up having so much depth that gets written off for being melodramatic or hyper feminine
Everything that humans create reflects humanity in some way and because of that alone it is worth examining. Its worth looking at lots of media even stuff deemed fluffy and unimportant or bad bc it reflects the culture as much as the "high-brow art" reflects culture. Humanity is problematic and imperfect but also amazing and beautiful simultaneously and a thorough examination of media that goes beyond the shallow will bear that out every time. Thanks so much for the video now i'm off to watch SITC for the fourth time! 😂😂
I think you're correct in saying both ends of the 'serious to fluffy' perspective equally reflect the current state of a culture, and can be usefully read in contrast/comparison with each other? 🙂 TBH I would also argue that A) Majority of people's attitudes are influenced FAR more by popular entertainment than by high-brow media, and B) Some media actually seems to migrate from one end of that spectrum to the other over time, in terms of whether it's considered 'high' or 'low' culture? Think e.g. Shakespeare (originally fairly derivative crowdpleasers), Dante (basically self-insert fanfic of the Greco-Roman classics) or Virgil (writing an unauthorized sequel to the Homeric epics)....?
Never watched Sex and the City and always sort of had mild contempt for it but this gave me an appreciation for it. I'd also been sort of contemplating the paranoid/reparative reading thing w/r/t the often unsatisfyingly vigilant or stultifying or thought-terminating nature of online discourse etc and having this concept raised here was successful for me in making both the subject of vid and my unrelated thoughts more explicit.
AMAZING!!!! This is one of the best video essays I have ever seen and I've seen many. The part where you spoke about the individualism, influence of late capitalism and lack of human bonds/sterile cold unmaternal attitudes of the women in the show encapsulated and perfectly articulated a deep and indescribable feeling I've had for SOO long. Wow. Masterfully written, presented, everything! I want to check out that book now too. All the sources you bring in are so fascinating! It's just amazing how you created this. I can't even comprehend it. Bravo it's just beyond superb and masterful!!!!
The "paranoid" reading, regardless of the nature of the word paranoid, is definitely an interesting idea. Thank you so much for bringing in Sedgwick's thoughts! I found that the conclusion for this video really summarized exactly how I feel about the non-nuanced criticisms of Sex and the City and post-feminism critiques of certain media in general. I think nuance is very important, which is why I support reparative readings. I can't speak for all communities, but as a queer person I find that in the queer community there are many texts and forms of media that require reparative reading in the modern age but remain major pillars of the queer community for one reason or another. Likewise, there are pieces of media that matter in my defining femininity and womanhood for myself that also require a nuanced reading because it's important to recognize certain degrees of privilege in those definitions. This was a fantastic video, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and creating such an interesting discussion!
Whilst I love the focus on female friendship, it does paint a bit of an unrealistic view (for most ppl) of friendship in your 30s (interestingly perhaps more close to what u can have in your early 20s before ppl become more enveloped by their jobs or intimate relationships). Tho perhaps that is just my experience.
Yeah. I love my friends and love any minute I can get in their presence, but once we all got into our careers, nobody has time for each other anymore. Our kids and our jobs and all that are just so demanding on our time. It would be amazing if we could all meet for lunch several times a week like the women in SATC, but that was never something we could do sustainably.
I wonder what you'd make of Supergirl (2015-21) because it's absolutely on that Mary Tyler Moore-Ally McBeal-SATC spectrum while also being a SF action show
The show was ahead of it's time when it came out. There was interracial romances in the show. Samantha, Miranda, and Mr. Big both had African American boyfriends and girlfriends. Samantha had a girlfriend of Latin descent. Remember it was still somewhat taboo in the late 1990s and early 00s to have these kind of relationships on screen. The cast did complain about the lack of diversity in the late 90s. I was put off by how waspy everything was. As someone who has lived in New York, it is a multicultural paradise. That is what makes NYC awesome. In defense of the show, I think these women wanted to evolve into stronger feminists, but society at the time would not allow it, by shaming them. I did think it was odd that they were being shamed for being 30 something and single. That is very common in New York as well as other big cities. I think the show was not as progressive as it should have been because it have to cater to middle America and the bible belt.
I blame Michael Patrick King for the downslide of the show and films. He has such a cheesy, shallow, consumerist sensibility. When it was good, the show owed its roots to the film Miami Rhapsody with SJP (totally the precursor), Darren Starr realizing he could turn it into a female Dream On for HBO, and all the fantastic women writers on SATC who created based on their real world sensibilities and experiences with bite and flair. One of them should have been made the show runner. I appreciate your conclusion about the characters adopting attachment and warmth more as the series progressed, but the show also became cartoonish in its emphasis on fashion and money (as did the movies: spend, spend, spend!), crowding out realistic and meaningful material.
Another effect of "Ally McBeal", intentional or not, was the super-skinny, size zero phase that overtook the country in the late 90's/ early aughts. It's hard to fight for social change when you've starved yourself to the point where you can barely walk.
Your take is interesting, however as someone that first watched this show from Greece, where it started airing in 2001 (and I was around 20 at the time) it was completely revolutionary in terms of depicting the sex and dating lives of women. I never (neither anyone of my peers, other Greek girls in their 20s) viewed it as cynical or individualistic, but as an hearwarming and honest, never before seen potrayal of female frienship and dating life. As for the consumerism, well, any popular american show was kind of out of touch with Greek standards of living, so I thought it was.. just like that for everyone in the US!! The lack of represenation of BIPOC did not register either, as Greece was at the time an almost entirely white country. Not that I don't accept that these aspects are problematic, however you take is just so entirely different from that of my entire generation of young women from less "advanced" or developped" of countries around the world watching at the time, it just blows my mind. And of course it goes without saying that any take is relative, but I hope you understand that yours also is informed by growing up in north america (i guess...), viewing the show 20 (or 15?) years after each release and of being like two generarions removed from the protagonists. I guess our societies at the time (outiside north-western europe/north amercia etc) were so much more patriarchal and misogynistic that we could't see, or didn't care about aspects of the show as consumerism, what was important for us was this revolutionary (and tender, I am very surpsised you find it cynical and jaded!!) honest potrayal of womens' conversations, friendships and quest for love.
I just don't see how fair it is to hold media that was created around 25 years ago, to modern standards. The world has changed and so has media. Things that seemed progressive back then, cannot possibly hold up to today's standards. Also, the characters in SATC constantly call each other out and, to me, the show never seemed to glorify the characters or portray them as heroes, but rather as flawed human beings. It's still a very well written show with memorable acting ESPECIALLY by today's standards of heartless mass production.
SATC looks like a show about shoes and taxi rides, but it's really a show about friendship, as opposed to Girls, which looks like a show about friendship but it is actually a show about selfish and individualistic self-entitled young women who dream success.
Disagree. SATC merely TEASED us with the notion that female friends could “be each other’s soulmates”-before dishing out the standard marriage-as-happy-ending for three of the four leads (and even what at the time looked like LTR for Samantha). No radical vision of permanent “chosen family” here!
@@terry9238 it's not like they parted ways as soon as they got married. You can have BOTH friendship AND a marriage. Although I admit that the way they handled the show at the end kind of betrayed its initial spirit.
Re: reparative readings, there is a (mid 20th century) writer, whose use of language I admire greatly. Like, best of the best, favorite of all time, all that jazz. Great at drawing very life-like characters in just a few words, too. And the writer is a man, and a pretty sexist one at that. Which means that when reading his female characters I can recognize their humanity, the human detail, and also clearly, visibly see that something is broken within there. A fundamental disconnect between a person and the way this man who refuses to understand her sees her. It's quite uncanny! But also instructive, and again, the dude is sexist, so most of his characters are also male, and the uncanny disconnect does not exist there. Don't know if this made any sense, but hey, a comment for the algorithm none-the-less!
@@luc2631 I don't have comment notifs turned on, sorry! He's name is Mika Waltari, he wrote in Finnish originally, don't know how the language thing works in translation
Never having had interest in Sex and the City, and I'm not even sure if I've ever seen an entire episode of the show, I nonetheless found this video incredibly informative and entertaining.
I seriously love every single video you put out. It's a deep, well-researched, and thoughtful analysis every single time, and I come away having learned something new or thinking about a piece of media in a new way. I really feel like Sex and the City is the kind of show I would love to watch and apply the type of framework that you encourage in this video. For those of us who live on Twitter, it's really easy to become increasingly irritated by the overexposure of 280 character "takes" that, at best, are a neutral expression of someone's opinion that (through recommendations, likes, etc) gets unfortunately shoved down thousands of people's throats without their permission. That in turn makes all of us more miserable and arguing over topics in a deeply aggressive manner that we literally wouldn't have cared about any other day, lol. So I just wanted to say that I love these 45 minute bangers that really focus on a core argument and unfold in a really cool way. It is long overdue but I've finally subscribed to your Patreon, and I can't wait to see what you work on next! Also, re: your pinned comment. I too have the same gut reaction to Sedgwick's term of "paranoid". The term itself gets thrown around a lot these days (sometimes too much), but I feel like I've rarely seen discussion about how the term itself is constructed. That being said, I'm sure you've read her more than me, so I can only describe how I feel with little evidence to back it up. Mostly I feel sad that the attitude is increasingly being used to shut down conversations started by well-intentioned people that are trying to think about how these shows (including Succession, The White Lotus, The Sopranos, etc) are interesting and necessary for look into certain psyches, but simultaneously asking us to still care about (and throw the most accolades and critical acclaim toward) the psychology of an overrepresented/oppressive group. Not everyone, rightly so, finds value in that kind of art being praised year after year.
unpopular opinion: the second time aidan and carrie broke up was not carrie's fault. she thought she was ready to get married but she wasn't. it happens. it sucks but people change their minds, they get scared and they are allowed to do so. in that situation, carrie did the only good thing she could - she was honest with aidan, gave him an opportunity to voice his feelings and tried to move the relationship forward. what aidan did next was pretty shitty. having told carrie that he understood her feelings and was ok with postponing their engagement, he ambushes her by trying to pressure to get married out of the blue one night and does one of the most manipulative and unproductive things you can do in a relationship - gives her an ultimatum. marry me now even though you're not ready or we're over. i mean, what did he expect to happen? that she would magically become ready and leap into a nuclear family with him? i'm not saying it's entirely his fault, it sucks learning your partner isn't in the same place you are but he handled it really poorly. not to mention, after they broke up he had her evicted. i mean what kind of shitty behaviour is that?
Totally agree!! Better to be honest and vulnerable even if there’s momentary pain/discomfort rather than get married and waste more of that person’s life, time etc living a lie out of fear.
i think i've watched this show beginning to end about 10 times, so i know what you mean in that it's captivating and i keep coming back to it and i'm not sure why. i usually just skip bits or episodes that are so politically tone deaf it hurts, and my watching experience is filled with a lot of eye rolling and their approaches to problem solving, but idk man i still get invested every time.
I just recently finished the show. The way I interpret the show with its biphobic/transphobic and racist episodes is its historical piece that exposes the isolatedness and shelteredness you spoke about of white women. Its a show exposing truth, and what I find more crazier than the racism and bigotry on the show is the show gaslighting me to think they can take a cab everywhere. the traffic in manhattan is ridiculous!!! i found myself crunching numbers trying to figure out how on earth they can could afford new york. regardless, i don't want to justify these women in any way, but they are reflections of the time and in many ways there are things we can still learn from them and reject things as the past.
I was rewatching sex and the city recently and that episode where Samantha practically fetishes that one black man and his sister was just trying to be protective made me CRINGGGGEEE Like it gave off emotional incest, it gave off fetish, it gave off "how dare a black woman tell me no" Ughh
I watched Sex and the City movie today, and I was very very confused on what I was watching. I'll skip over my overly complicated emotions, but I found myself always happy and somewhat emotional when the parts that reflected human connections happened, like Miranda and her husband meeting at the bridge, the joy of the woman who couldnt get pregnant being able to have a kid, etc etc, a part of me was both happy that in all the cynicism I was experieincing and biases I carry, I could still find myself happy for the women when they were together and you could see how happy they were from the fact that they have each other at least no matter what. A part of me was deeply disturbed, but another was really happy that in the craziest of media the things that make people the happiest or more meaningful are human connections
I was listening to this video while washing the dishes and got a mid-roll ad for a murder-themed puzzle subscription thing that was like "after a long day of feeling nothing at work, I need more than social media to calm down, you know? in these monotonous times, I need something...dangerous...to relax" and I definitely thought it was like, a parodic sketch from the show,
As a super fan of SATC (and Ally McBeal), even with all its problematic bits, I really enjoyed watching this. And I was geeked to see that Ottessa’s book was included as I read it last year! Thank you for all this research.
This is the best thing I've come across in the internet for a very long time, thank you! I stumbled across this video whilst procrastinating from uni readings in global political economy and funnily enough this video helped me to comprehend real-life consequences of neoliberal politics better than any of the articles provided. Keep up the good work!
I feel a bit breathless after watching this-- a really insightful, intelligent, and compassionate critique of SATC and surrounding media. Thanks for creating this video!
Hello! My friend Hannah and I started a podcast :) it's called Rehash, and it's all about social media phenomenons that once took the world by storm, only to be quickly forgotten! We're releasing episodes weekly, which you can find here (and wherever you get your podcasts): anchor.fm/rehashpodcast
Did yo watch And Just Like That? Was wondering what your thoughts were on the spinoff.
I think there is something to be said about female friendships and proximity. SATC made a lot of women believe their friends would always be there, and didn't anticipate the isolation caused by social media, the transience created by an unstable western economy and the loneliness of online dating. That's why it feels nostalgic to me. Big and Carrie talking on a landline phone, no texting, no photos to stalk it feels completely foreign now. I notice that most coming of age female drama shows have one protagonist who has one close friend and that's it. The individualism spoken about during the commentary went into overdrive in the 2010s.
Thank you for mentioning this!
@Erwin Lii Yes i think girls was realistic on this point, there were many seasons where the girls were not speaking to each other or in active conflict. When the main character becomes pregnant she moves away to the suburbs, which is realistic, whereas Miranda's life doesn't change much when she has Brady (not realistic). By the end of girls every one has pretty much gone their separate ways. Friendships are more peripheral and tenuous now.
This is something we need a video on
@@christieomojo Honestly, the female friendships in Girls was one of the things that made it impossible for me to watch the show. I don't find it a realistic portrayal at all. It is true that, when getting older, the quantity of female friendships diminishes and changes, but that is not necessarily the case for the quality. Girls loved focussing on the cliché that woman are actually incapable of being friends with each other, because we are either too self-involved or are competing for male attention. Apparently we are all secretly waiting to stab each other in the back. Of course none of the male characters have this problem (except when they're gay). God, that show was barely trying to hide its cynicism about women.
@@camillelemmens1745 they were awful to each other. I was relieved when they all went their separate ways.
The scene where they talk about being each other’s soulmates is literally one of my favorite scenes from any tv show.
Me too! It always gets me emotional. Despite its flaws, I really think SATC is one of the best examples of chosen family in all media.
it's actually the main reason i hate the very end so much. it shouldn't have been Mr Big it should've been the girls showing up in Paris to be with her.
Yeah
The Soul Mates episode is one of my all time favorites! Every birthday I would have my friends and I watch this.
@@nihilismistheonlyway4680 I totally agree.
The “maybe we could be each other’s soulmates” line from Charlotte will always bring me to tears. I think it’s truly how many of us feel about our friendships. Especially as we get older and have failed relationship, after failed relationship. You realize love and intimacy does not have to be physical to be profound and special.
Miranda being excited to take a break from motherhood for a few days is not selfish. Usually men do it all the time, leaving all the work to the mothers and not being judged. I think the series showed perfectly the struggle to not leave your "personhood" for being a mother in the face of Miranda.
I agree but I feel like she was referring to the fact the he's treated like a burden from all the girls
@@claudiatonietto128that is actually also very realistic. I don’t want to come across as a bad person, I understand that children are the most important humans in their parents’ lives, but as friend without any kids I think it’s important to meet your friends without the kids. Even it’s once in a few months. And in case of satc with their lifestyle the kid was a burden.
@@natalyamartirosyan kind of proving her individualism point perfectly there...humans reproduce. it changes people. why would you expect your friends to prioritise you over their literal offspring??
I'm a mother, and I agree that children being a burden to a friend group can be 100% realistic. When you have to do every single activity with your child glued to your side (for lack of financial resources, or other reasons) that is a burden. It's not enjoyable at all. It was a relief for me to see that represented in SATC because there's this implicit pressure for mothers to want to hang out with their children 24/7 and that's just beyond unrealistic. A lot of moms love and genuinely enjoy devoting their every hour to their children and that's awesome, but it doesn't come naturally to every single mother out there.
“Capitalism strips us of our humanity, and then sells us books on how to be more human.” Wow. Love this video.
Capitalism stripping us from values is tiny compared to socialism, and even worse, compared to communism. Take it from someone who had seen the decay of her beloved country along with its values and all its meaning.
Wow. How can I say this in a civil way? I don't mean to offend...
Try living one week under the OPPRESSIVE, Totalitarian Chinese Communist regime if you wanna see what Really kills the soul. Being treated like a slave by a left-fascist regime.
I don't mean to insult or provoke anyone with this comment.
I used to hate capitalism too. It was a long road of study and disillusionment with Marxism that changed my perspective drastically.
@@elig6590
YES! THANK YOU.
My new comment essentially says the same thing...
Capitalism will make plastic of everything, given enough time
says the monetized youtube channel. Thicc with irony.
Sex and the City serves as a very peculiar expression of time. Like it can be so very backwards, outdated and primitive while simultaneously existing in a time ahead of its own and has sense of "end of times" looming over it. Like time is circular as apposed linear and this show exists at the one point where the circle of time begins and ends. This is especially potent in how the women of the show seem to age without growing. Hope it makes sense.
DAYUM 😭👏👏👏this is good!
that's not very peculiar, circular time cycles have been a part of Eastern thought and storytelling for centuries
@@ikaros4203 The concept of circular time isn't peculiar, Sex and the City is. It feels like it's before AND after our time simultaneously.
so intriguingly explained..
Yes! I love this
I actually find our Sex and the City protagonists to be realistically flawed characters. They are driven,beautiful and intelligent. They at least hetero love each other. They are also vain,unwise,selfish and materialistic. They have external ethics barrowed from an ideal of 90's New York,but it's not really from them internally. It's largely an accident that they are such realistically neutral characters,but it's fascinating.
I agree. It kind of wouldn’t have worked if they were perfectly unproblematic? It’s a character study. It’s art, which shouldn’t be sterile. It’s not meant to be a moralistic guide on how to live.
I'm sure it would have been majorly different in any other city.
@@laurakibben4147 for sure, as a native new yorker who was in her 20s in the 90s living in manhattan I can attest that this is pretty specific to the show. the vibe doesnt carry over to chicago, l.a. or SF or tampa all of which Ive visted or lived in. every other city with maybe the exception of LA is pretty tiny compared to NYC. you can kind of lose yourself in nyc in a way and this anonymity promotes a kind of vanity and hyperindividualism and self absorption and self indulgence that's almost impossible to stop.
This is exactly what I think whenever I see videos calling the show toxic. These characters are flawed, troubled, biased, wrong, right, etc. Just like the rest of us. If someone made a show about ANY of us, we would all be “toxic” too, because not one of us is a perfect comic book hero, with zero flaws. We do and say fucked up shit the entirety of our lives. SATC reflected a time and a place, and the people in it with all their flaws.
This is why is dislike the discourse that paints Carrie as the devil and Samantha as the “real protagonist” and better friend. They all have their flaws. I love Carries selfishness, her cheating, her carelessness. I love that they don’t backtrack on it at the end of each episode, she is just so human. Still a funny interesting person and a good friend, just a character who the writers were actually unafraid to make human.
As someone who wrote a critical analysis essay on Fukuyama’s end of history and binged all of sex and the city this year, this video feels like it was made for me
is your essay available to read anywhere, or shareable at all? it sounds very interesting! :)
@@ros9922 it was a three page essay at her first year of community college
@@bensanderson7144 …..ok cool 👍
Omg it sounds like it kinda was!
in a yearrr? i watched all 6 seasons during a weekend omfg😭🖤🖤
I am so upset to learn that the original endgame for Carrie was for her to still be single. That truly would have been revolutionary for a show with a female lead, and a show with the kind of following SaTC had, for Carrie to go an entire series and not come out in a relationship (even if that relationship is bad/toxic [and as an aside, I have never been happy that Carrie ends up with Big]).
I feel differently. Carrie should have remained single because she scared of commitment. She wants to play house not have a real marriage. I hope Big fucks around on her in the new series - give Carrie the toxic dose she needs to realize she wasted so much time and energy on such a loser.
Agreed!
@@gurucarcar yup
Perhaps because in the real world, a woman cannot be married without children and she was never going to be cut out for that even if she hadn't have ended up with Big?
@@gurucarcar boy you're going to be shocked...
"heterosexually liberated" is so apt omg hahahaha
Do you comment on every video you watch? Damn you're everywhere
@@midnightscreamer2481 You only notice her because of her following, she has a right to comment on whatever she wants. As does everyone else.
@@witchplease9695Does stating the obvious make you feel smart sherlock? You do realize you're defending freedom of speech while condemning me for using it at the same time right? I wasn't saying I didn't like her or what she says. I notice her everywhere I go. Calm down stan, your parasocial relationship is a little creepy. I recommend going outside, enjoy the sunshine. Vitamin D plays a role in brain development and function.
@@midnightscreamer2481 Jesus. Calm down dude.
@@RosieOleanderDallinger after you
The abortion episode has been on my mind lately. Fiction mostly treats abortion as a single right or wrong answer in the ethical context of the narrative.
SANC does not, it shows that all choises are fine. They are choises. Life goes on. Whatever you think is right for you, there you are.
Carrie was the original Influencer! She post regularly. She was invited to the best partys. And she always looked good.
that’s not an influencer it’s an it girl
Okay first, I have to say I cried while watching this during the section talking about SATC being about friendship. A big part of why it was so good is because it was very sentimental.
Also, it feels like the current day media has that same brand of being so out of touch with the average 20-40yr old’s actual experience with capitalism and consumerism.
Or it at least feels incredibly distant from a life like mine, a service industry worker or somebody who makes less than $50k a year.
Hard Agree. It seems to be taken for granted in current media that everyone is at least middle class enough to never talk about bills. I was so excited when the mom in One Day at a TIme reboot had car problems like finally! an actual situation that I find very real and stressfull and would love to feel the relief of laughing about it. That made the show even more relatable even though this family looks nothing like mine.
The mainstream media are mostly about promoting advertisers’ products (including “lifestyles”) to the subset of the public that can afford them. That’s why the media always showcase the more prosperous sector of each generation.
Every now and then it looks like the media are starting to “see” the new crop of struggling young (and not so young) adults. This group is acknowledged in a magazine article here and a show like “Rent” there. But this fad never lasts very long. We soon hear that the latest young-and-struggling crowd are starting to “make it” after all, to buy at least some luxury goods and services, and then to buy homes and raise kids. Then we no longer hear about those in that age group who still haven’t made it-who have been left behind.
What happened to the Chandlers and Rachels and Phoebes who still don’t have lucrative careers, or the Hannah Horvaths who never got permanent teaching jobs, or the Carrie Bradshaws who never got a book deal?
We’ll never know- because the corporate media will never give us that TV series.
“Paranoid Reading”… what a term. Thank you so, so much for pinning this conundrum down and introducing me to it. Your content continues to be absolutely phenomenal.
aw thank you so much :')!!!
@@BroeyDeschanel I second that! Amazingly well thought out critiques and arguments. Thanks for the content!
"Paranoid reading" is a great way to articulate the phenomenon of people labelling things 'partially problematic and thus wholly terrible'. Love it
Opening a SATC essay with Fukuyama…I’ll never not stan
Don't stan, support
As a cis gay man who was in his 20s in the 90s and living in a major and majorly cynical US city, my personal experience of SATC as I consumed it in its original run was to see the problematic stuff in real time but to still feel that overall the show expressed many things that my friends both queer and heterosexual were grappling with. I still cherish it while seeing its deep flaws. That second movie though...ugh.
i agree with the shoe situation though. keira blaming carrie for not having kids and putting herself up on a pedestal because she has children and 'reposnsibilities' is just ridiculous.
Yep. I might personally believe that paying that much for shoes is ridiculous, but if I were lose someone's shoes like that, I'd reimburse them, simply because I'd be pissed off to throw everything and anything that would hurt them right back in their face if they did something like that with something I liked and bought/created.
@@irondragonmaiden Even then, it's fine if you're not in a spot to be able to pay for the shoes...but it's something you could at least feel kind of guilty about. If you possess enough arrogance to default to an extremely patronizing and condescending insult towards your friend, in the name of absolving yourself, that's just you being shitty.
I've been mostly sleepwalking the last months in an effort to avoid pain and the world around me - I even literally slept most of the day today and it felt marvelous to simply not be. This video definitely helped me realize something, not sure exactly what yet, but it was extremely well done and thanks for this nuanced critique on a piece of media that I love myself but also have some issues with in retrospect.
I understand this
are you ok man
@@elizabethbennet4791 My partner of 10 years left me a few months before I was going to propose to him and then my mother died about a month ago. It's been a bad year. But there are some positive developments happening now it seems...thank you for asking.
@@chriscze6153 Im so sorry that happened to you. Trust me it lessens with time. LMK if you need to talk, I'm here
I hope you're doing better Chris 💓
I watched SATC growing up, and will always be grateful for its core message:
You are *enough*. You don't have to be *perfect*. The most important relationship in your life is your (chosen) *family*.
Just two years ago we saw Cynthia Nixon's rendition of Rainville's 'Be a lady they said', which only confirms the timelessness of these lessons. They offer a comfort that helps be at peace with yourself, and then in turn have more love and energy to give to others.
It's a huge shame that the writers were blind to how universal this lesson is - the proper inclusion and representation of LGBTQ+ and BIPOC in SATC would have made it 'even more' New York, and just so,so powerful.
the thing about sex and the city is that basically they try the whole series to not be like their mothers, but end up pretty much the same. in my opinion, they tried to subvert probably something they saw it in their own homes but like you said, didnt realize how lonely that could be. they "failed" to find new forms of relationships and communities, even within themselves (they never helped each other familywise, babysitting or cooking etc). they were still very conservative in terms of human relationships, they fell for the same pattern in the end: straight couple, nuclear family. i think samantha was the only one that tried to expand her horizon.
Have I watched a single episode of Sex and the City? Nope! I've never watched Love Island either, but I've watched
Broey Deschanel's video about that franchise multiple times because I adore the way Broey dissects media! Excited to buckle in for this!!!
YES the Love Island one roped me in, had never seen the show but love a good sociological dissection of mass media, esp reality shows since it's the rawest form. She has the best vid essays
Wow the way you tied in 9/11 was powerful and made me emotional. I’m a late 90s baby but the youngest in my family with boomer parents. Us Muslims in America often talk about 9/11 as a turning point in which our racialized ion happened. When looking at history that is clearly inaccurate but I see a connection between the 90s ahistorical attitude and that perception. . .lots to reflect on with this video. I watched the entire SATC series during my senior year of college as a way to get excited about the “next phase” of my life. A bit funny because I’m not a rich white woman and can relate very little to this BUT it did give me the boost I needed not to feel awful about being a single Muslim gal leaving college. There’s so much to say about this!
Yeah
Sex and the City presenting bisexuality as a dishonest phase on the way to being gay or lesbian really did damage to my young bisexual psyche. It's a bummer to think of how easily they could have included an accurate depiction that would have lifted fans up instead of doing harm. The bi erasure is real.
What did you think of Samantha's bisexuality when she got with Maria or has had threesomes with women?
@@JaiProdz I personally wasn’t a fan. They portrayed it as a phase because Samantha was bored with straight sex, and then she ended it because being with a woman got too “boring” because they spent too much time talking about their feelings.
@@JaiProdz I mean it wasn’t really bisexuality, and her sexuality was pretty ambiguous. There was a line “try-sexual” IMO I think Samantha was pretty fluid and didn’t have a rigid sense of sexuality. I’ve watched the episode multiple times of her lesbian partner, and it was kind of just another partner. Her friends made jokes but she seemed okay with it (minus her using the strap 😂)
That clip was one of my early introductions to the show and shut me down to it. I came out as Bi in 2012, and I get so frustrated at seeing it continuously sidelined, relegated to subtext, or rejected entirely.
This was a common misconception of bisexuality in the 90s; eventually a bisexual person would just become gay. Not to say this was correct thinking, but this was not out of the ordinary by any means. With time things change and people understand better. So yes, the show did perform bi erasure, but it wasn't malicious and was based off of the ignorance of the time period.
Helloooo! I just wanted to clarify (as I do in the pinned comment of literally every video at this point lol), that I don't love the word "paranoid" to describe the critical phenomenon that Sedgwick is talking about. But alas, that is her descriptor for it! I just think "paranoid" has a relatively derogatory/dismissive connotation. Correction for the correction: Sônia Braga is BIPOC.
Anyways, would love to hear all your thoughts about reparative/paranoid reading and what you all think is the best practice for analyzing media these days! There's definitely no cut and dry solution I think. Do you think reparative readings are helpful - or do they gloss over criticism?
I think you did a great job on a reparative reading, I hadn't heard of that specific term before this video but that's how I like to analyze and interpret the media I consume and create, I think reparative readings can only be truly reparative if they (like you did) acknowledge the shortcomings of the piece of media and recognize the negative or problematic aspects while not discounting the positive ones, and just allowing the viewer or reader to decide what they think of the piece as a whole, just point out a lot of the more interesting details. love the work y'all are doin, keep up the good job y'all!
I think context is everything, it’s easy to “cancel” things because of their problems viewed with modern lenses. Yes of course it’s not right those issues occurred in the first place but it also shows the commonplace acceptance of such issues. I think seeing those commonplace issues and seeing how unacceptable they are at present allows for discussion of further growth. Change is frustratingly slow and widespread acceptance takes time and is influenced by politics. I think you are right in that nothing we consume media wise is apolitical, cultural commentary within the frame of the show is always going to be socio-political in nature. I think overall we have to be conscientious that of course what we find acceptable at present may not be in the future and strive not to critique not for what it’s lacking alone but what the overall themes and messages are. Most importantly I think it time we let those marginalized have their own voices and opportunities to express experiences and views in the media too. It clearly influences what society thinks is acceptable overall and can lead to change.
excellent video
“latinx” headass
I always thought Charlotte existed in this show so that the male partners of the women watching this show had something to care about. She was the only one that was likeable.
Lol spoil all of it for me cause i doubt i being a Black cishet man would watch it out of my own volition (no knocks to those that have) but i do desperately wanna know why it was so influential
Black cisgay over here it true there’s nothing “for me” obviously in SATC but that didn’t really stop me from watching (and mostly loving) it. Perhaps it is because I was still consuming tv media even when people like me were explicitly invisible in it during this era.
The overt materialistic, often racist, often homophobic, explicitly transphobic, xenophobic moments easily referenced and written about are definitely a thing but as Maia points out it’s also earnest, and relatable and right up to the end it complicates the women at the center of the story. Of course the dynamic of unyielding friendship in the face of utterly dehumanizing systems Carrie’s throughout the entire series.
That same dynamic has been explored repeatedly in shows before SATC (Living Single) to shows came after that kept that structure after it like Noah’s Arc or even Insecure and that makes me love SATC more. I figure it’s because it *feels good* and it’s relatable and I am disinclined to dismiss something wholesale because it looks like it isn’t for me.
Now THIS is a video essay! After rewatching SATC in my mid 20's I've been yearning for a real critique and analysis around each character and the overall show. Thank you thank you thank you! I absolutely loved the conclusion where you commented on our relationship with old media and reparative reading. It is extremely important to critique all the media that we consume from a social and political lens but it is also just as important to apply context and acknowledge what the media achieved so we can learn from it and move forward.
For me Carrie ending up with Big does make sense as it, probably, can only do in fiction. I see Carrie as romantic, not the type that Charlotte is as I find her to be quite grounded in her desires for a life, but in the sense of the 19th century art movement. Everything is so grand and so deeply entwined with one's feelings, or better emotions that those become the main driving force behind one's actions. Carrie had the type of connection with Big that many do dream of so for her letting him go and make a healthy choice is impossible, because he is what she craves even at the determent of her mental health. And yes that isn't a good choice, but in fiction it makes sense. So it was simply the kind of happy ending people often hope for, to end up with the person we love and for those lovers to grow in personality
Thank you for putting into words so well what I have felt about the ending. Great comment.
Carrie was grounded in her desires for a life? I don't think so.
I do see SATC as one of my problematic fave shows. The reason why I come back to it because at its core its about the importance of friendship and how these women created a family with each other.
I’m a 38 year old woman and have been programmed to cry whenever Mirandas moms funeral, Carries inconvenient love speech or the song “You’ve got the love” is referenced🥺
I’ll never know how my tackling of adolescence, adulthood and womanhood would have differed without SATC, but I’m glad it was there for me, no matter how problematic and cringe it would be if I were to revisit it now. Not a chance by the way, which makes me all the more thankful for thoughtful and nuanced video essays such as these☺️
You look good in a tutu skirt and lit up on a park bench Broey! And that Nomi painting is awesome🍔💎
commentary channels that make me tear up bc of how well they convey their thoughts and opinions in not only respectful ways but highly entertaining >>> that ending part was amazing, some of my fav work from you, your videos just are so thoughtful every single time. amazing work dude!
You encapsulate what's so wonderful about the show (for all its very real and serious faults), and it reminded me how fantastic the four female leads were at embodying these different parts of ourselves.
I must say that I never agreed with comments that Carrie character was so wrong and unlikeble. That she should be better. For me it was the opposite. I loved Carrie the most when she was in wrong, when she was full of shame, when she made awful mistakes, pity things. Because that was making her a human, you know? Real woman. Because very often in movies women are there to be perfect. Loving support, innocent, pure, moral ground for male protagonists, saints. And there she is: Carrie. Who sometimes is an awful friend or girlfirend and still she is forgiven for it most of the time. We have impossible high moral standard for women and I feel tired thinking about it. That i'm a bad person because i'm not people pleasing enough, I dont like sacrifice for others every-freakin-day. We needed this shows where women were selfish, selfcentered, funny and making huge mistakes because sometimes we are exactly that. And because of that I love SATC.
Yes!!!
Sameee
I loved the show in the early 2000's. Hasn't aged very well, but is still entertaining. I got to meet Cynthia Nixon on her run for governor in upstate NY who I had A huge crush on as A teen.
I watch re-runs of Sex and the City now as comfort watch as it reminds me of better times. It's a fairytale I can escape to from the deep horrors of my anxiety, disillusionment with today's feminism and LGBTQ activism (some of it is progress, some of it regressive like the show itself) and to also scrub out the stench of its abysmal reboot And Just Like That. It offers the glitz and glamour of fashion, going out and feeling sexy in your own body, and not have to rely on anyone. And also, the complexities and love of female friendships.
the weirdest thing about the Shoes episode is how the friend Kira actually shows up to the registry..
EVEN THO SHE KNEW CARRIE WASNT GETTING MARRIED YES LMAOOOOO
I hate Carrie but the message (literal and figurative) she left Kira was very clever; Kira knew she had to buy those shoes!
This is a fascinating look at a show I am only now beginning to understand and appreciate. I grew up in an intellectual household, and SATC was something both of my parents dismissed (and I dismissed by example) as vapid and, as you say, "un-feminist" or post-feminist.
But now I am a relatively independent woman with a stable-if-uninspiring job, looking for love and friendship. I don't want children, like most of the main cast, and I'm already jaded to the dating scene despite having relatively little experience: it's overwhelming and terrifying. I'm decidedly an idealist, but I understand losing one's faith in love. I'm white, my family is part of the fading middle class, but I myself am only one paycheck away from destitution (as many people are nowadays). I also love shoes and fashion and spending frivolously (to the chagrin of my bank account) in a desperate attempt to fill the void with tchotchkes and books about how to Be Better. There's something comforting about these women who are like me in many ways. Maybe, if they succeeded, I can too.
I watched SATC a few years ago as a 'guilty pleasure' but re watched it this year guilt free. It may not be my favourite but it struck a chord with me and left a mark. Somehting in how I view my life and ambitions, how I'm living my 20s. It didn't change my life completely but it's always at the back of my mind.
thank you for such a thoughtful, careful and complex reading of this show. there was a lot this show did for women when it came to talking about female desire. we can take those elements and consider the mistakes too and what we can learn from them. i also like how they show the messiness that happens in your romantic relationships as just life circumstances get in the way. Charlotte and Harry trying to adopt. Samantha having cancer. And most notably, Miranda uprooting her life in Manhattan and ultimately becoming a caregiver of her husband's mother. Magda tells her, "What you did, that's love." is one of my favorite from the show. Because it is. Having a life with someone isn't really romantic declarations on bridges in Paris. Life is messy and painful. Sometimes love doesn't survive these huge life struggles. But without love underneath, the relationship wouldn't last at all. And the friendship between the women, god I have so much to say about that too.
Good stuff. There's an episode in the Sopranos where Tony goes to the university that Meadow wants to go to and donates a large amount of money. This was probably a shocking scene at the time, or could be written off as mafia drama fiction. We find out later that it's true with the testing scandals. Before that, the media would have you believe that people went to Ivy League schools because they were smart, not because of corruption or family legacy. There's a certain arrogance with people who move to New York to improve their careers and then pretend they're Manhattan natives and that there's no better place. I imagine these are the people that end up writing shows like this. During the time it was popular to write characters as Ivy League educated, living in unaffordable places, and having a lifestyle relegated to a few. I imagine that many in the audience were less put off by it and perhaps saw this as an aspirational lifestyle, with the show providing some escapism. In other words, they saw less of the metacommentary and took it more at face value, at least initially. It's possible that the show was smarter than what we see, it's also possible that the writers thought they were being progressive but had massive blinders in certain areas. Keep in mind that post cold war, it was still a bit taboo to talk about Marxism and other political theories other than Keynesian economics.
amazing commentary!
Very insightful!
Not related to postfeminism but...
I always felt like we misjudged Big. Yeah, he's not perfect, he cheated on his wife, he has troubles communicating but we are repeatedly forced to see him as a villain because he can't commit to Carrie. Which how is that a bad thing? Especially, considering that we are given an explanation for why Big can't commit - he is traumatized by his previously failed messy marriage.
Commitment issues are not a sign of moral failure. You are not a bad person if you can't commit.
It's like Carrie wants to see Big as someone he's not, and then gets pissed when she's met with real Big who can't return her love. It feels like Big was a villain because he wasn't able to love Carrie back the way she wanted him to. And when you say it like that it becomes apparent that maybe nobody here is a villain, and Carrie should have just moved on.
Honestly! I feel the same! I am always so confused that everybody blames him, but god damn, carrie, just let the man live!
Yup
@@louisekenn517 yeah. There are still valid iffy things about Big that could be portrayed as villainous (like manipulating and threatening Carrie to come clean to his wife about their affair) but my problem is that we are not encouraged to see him as a villain because of these things but because he can't commit to Carrie. Like "threaten me, manipulate me if you want but please love me or I'll hate you". Das weird.
Besides, no man commits to his "beloved" wife with a constant stream of porn in his pocket...
@@louisekenn517 do you know ANY woman that can and does?? Lol!!
Single since 94 and still laughing hilariously and quietly at all the poor guys dragging solemnly behind the nagging cow and bawling brats spending his pay in any big box store.
“The compulsion to sleep through life”….. wow.. amazing
I planned on only watching the first five minutes of this but ended up watching the whole thing. Between the research, the sequencing, and the presentation, you're incredible at what you do.
Hey, queen! Girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for all of us and doing it flawlessly.
No seriously, your video essays are amazing. It‘s like reading a college paper but with imagery and easier language. If you ever publish a collection of essays I would be happy to purchase one 😇
this was so well done! feel like i've learned so much. talking about the show itself: it kind of makes me glad to see it hasn't 'aged well' - it's a sign of progress and it makes me happy to feel myself cringing at some of the parts because it means we've evolved and we're better. being able to recognise the problematic parts allows me to enjoy the actual beauty of the show - my most meaningful friendships with two of my closest friends is based so heavily on what we saw and learned from SATC. even though we're women in our early 20s, we've caught ourselves in almost identical situations the SATC characters experience and it's helped us get through life together and from a strong, beautiful bond. "You've Got the Love" is our anthem and I have to thank this show, because I can go through life knowing I've got two soulmates locked down :)
The end of history is such a funny theory. Like, yeah this is good it will last forever !! Its like if the french in 1770 were like "nothing else will happen"
I think it's wrong to compare the immediate post cold war situation to 1770 France . In the 1990s what fukuyama wrote made obvious sense to many people . Western liberal capitalist democracies were the most prosperous places to exist . Non western prosperous nations like Japan and South Korea had also embraced this model while the only competitor to this , Soviet socialism had collapsed in a humiliating way . Other developing countries like India , china and Vietnam all three of which have been socialist states with planned economies ( india was not socialist but most of the economy was state controlled) started to embrace capitalism and experienced exponential economic growth that pulled millions of people out of poverty . This was the context in which fukuyama was talking about . Obviously he turned out to be wrong as China while accepted capitalism , did not accept democracy and this system of authoritarian state capitalism without democracy worked out pretty well for it . Then there was the great recession which weakened the economic prosperity of developed countries and now we have climate change .
It’s official: Broey Deschanel has the best song remixes I’ve ever encountered on UA-cam. My friend in Manhattan was proposed to in Central Park with live musicians playing “You’ve Got the Love”
The only reason I ever got into Sex and The City was because I was looking for something to binge watch after my first serious relationship ended to distract from my ~sorrows~ 😂 At the time I was still attending community college, living on the border of the poverty level and very, very queer. it had to be the least relatable show I could have gotten into but TBH that was kind of why I enjoyed it? For me it was almost like watching something sci-fi or fantasy with how alien these well-off white cis women were to my own lived experience, and seeing it in the early 2010s with no prior context made it feel like more of a period piece. I found i ended up connecting with different aspects here and there despite myself. So much of it is so incredibly dated, even harmful, I can't imagine how much harder that breakup would have been for me if I hadn't had it around as the tv equivalent of comfort food though.
For all of its flaws I do think it was notable in terms of how much it attempted to normalize sex, both having it and frank discussions of it, especially in a nonmarital, non religious context. I also appreciated the end relationships of every major character save for Carrie, it really felt like everybody besides her experienced some genuine growth. Although frankly her and Big kind of deserved each other, lmao
I agree 💯 (I’m straight though) but being black and South African I really don’t relate to them in anyway. But that’s kinda what I like about it, guilty pleasure and a form of escapism. The same reason I love the modern family, they just comfort shows.
It's practically a soap opera. I watched it because I had time (pandemic) and was finally old enough to where I wouldn't have to switch the channel as someone walked in the room. I knew what it was, and was looking for something adult and light to watch. Seemed appropriate. I honestly had no idea they were only around half hr episodes because the glimpses I had always seemed so full... It seems that, outside of being a well-off hetero white cis woman, it's automatically a guilty pleasure because you're well aware of how unrelatable it is. It works so well as a fantasy because the ladies are practically caricatures that you build bittersweet love for - also Carrie's rent controlled apartment and blackhole of high-end fashion despite being one of the most financially irresponsible characters we may ever see on tv... They're all a mess in ways, but there are also pieces of their lives that we can all fantasize about (yes, even Charlotte's - in between the constant eyerolls). Many aspects of the show are also still uncommon to see. Pushing 30 myself, I'll always appreciate that we meet these characters in the age range that we do - the most lively and free of them all (Samantha) even significantly older! I'm really looking forward to the reboot, especially since they are more aware of where they failed the first time around. Very true too, Carrie and Big do deserve each other - I'm content knowing that they're happy playing hot potato with the BS.
Wow I really relate to this.
in the best way possible, your analysis in this video helped me realise why i'm so desperately lonely and seeking, as carrie bemoaned, "real love: ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love," despite seemingly 'having it all', so thank you for this
"Dear funky spunk." Fave all-time line. Loved that Carrie smoked and oft fought for her right to. Superficiality aside and having lived in NYC in the mid-'90s, I saw the show as a multi-season video extension of Joan Didion's 'Goodbye to All That,' yes later "punctuated" by 9/11. Friendship, yes, and whatever happened to Skipper? Great take/post per always.
Yeh...Skipper...what happened?
This was great, I especially loved the inclusion of Sedgwick. I see reparative reading as an important way forward for media criticism in the current hypocritical and self-consuming climate. Obviously recognizing issues in media is good, but over-reliance on that type of criticism kills the enjoyment of art and its complexities, and only allows for bland and inoffensive art (which often isn't actually unproblematic at all, rather just too shallow to critique). I like reparative reading's focus on the pleasure of the text; I don't think it glosses over problems in art, but rather acknowledges them as part of the experience.
I don't know but I loved Samantha, I wish to some day be as free as her. She booked a doctor's appointment for a nun (who she just met and didn't have anything in common) even though she didn't have, has never been judgy towards her friends, and even babysitted Brady as an act of love for Miranda.
Yes, Sam had her flaws like how she dealt with trans people and her unability to really commit. BUT she do committed to someone, her friends
As an older millennial woman, I definitely struggle with sleepwalking through life. I’m aware I’ve done it for much of my life because I’m filled with a sense of hopelessness and powerlessness. I envy the SATC characters in the way they were apolitical and ignorant to the realities of what was happening in the world.
It’s also why I, in a way, admired the protagonist of “My year of rest and relaxation.” The naive idea that you can be healed of your trauma and anxiety of the world, when really most of it stems from outside forces completely out of your control.
It says a lot that my form of coping right after 9/11 was to go to the mall.
i envy them too. i can’t imagine how it feels to not have to worry about money, to have a group of close friends i see frequently, go shopping/out to eat on a regular basis, or just have a day where i’m not consumed with dread/depression/anxiety about the problems in my life, society, the country, the world, climate change etc. i joke that i’m a doomer but it honestly feels like death is looming around every corner- nukes, mass shootings, covid or the next pandemic. at the same time we still wake up every day and have to go through the motions like everything is normal. i just wanna know what it’s like to have things easy even if just for a day.
i’m not even american but that last sentence hit so fucking hard
This video just seems like peak UA-cam. A long deep dive into something no one asked for but are better to have it. And a skill share sponsorship.
I never thought I see these 2 topics in the same video in a million years 😭
Idk, 1998-1999 releases from the west usually have this as a backbone in analysis videos
Much problematic, especially when viewed with a modern lens. But nonetheless groundbreaking at the time, and did push a lot of conversations and change our dialogues at the time (and moving forward). A lot. And as you say, this is why we are still talking about it (in video essays, in podcasts) today. Really enjoying 'And So I Got To Thinking', a podcast which unpacks each episode and see how it is now relevant (or Not) today. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I think any focus on the problematic elements of SATC forgets to consider the context of late-'90s broadcast television, and what the purpose of this show was at that time. Such a positive presentation of female sexuality was truly groundbreaking, and was in itself pushing the boundaries of what could be broadcast. For that to be possible, it needed to be aimed at a clear and large audience. From that perspective, if the creators had attempted to make a more broadly progressive show, they would have only succeeded in making a show that was too subversive to be broadcast in prime-time slots, and so would have achieved minimal if any impact on a broader cultural level. They had to pick their battle.
This was a tremendous video essay. Thank you.
i’ve returned to this video so many times, and it gives me something new every time. thank you for your work!!
I love a good video essay on things people view as too 'girly' but sis, no one does an amazing video essay like you! ❤️🐞🍒🍒
why is being girly or very girly a bad thing
@@sainttheresetaylor2054 I'm not saying it's a bad thing 😂 I'm saying that society often mocks girls for liking shows that revolve around girls in their 20s and their dating lives but these shows and films often end up having so much depth that gets written off for being melodramatic or hyper feminine
“Wtf is this” about the dancing baby, oh nooooo. I feel old lol. It was basically a prehistoric meme
Yes! We needed more sex and the city video essays
Everything that humans create reflects humanity in some way and because of that alone it is worth examining. Its worth looking at lots of media even stuff deemed fluffy and unimportant or bad bc it reflects the culture as much as the "high-brow art" reflects culture. Humanity is problematic and imperfect but also amazing and beautiful simultaneously and a thorough examination of media that goes beyond the shallow will bear that out every time. Thanks so much for the video now i'm off to watch SITC for the fourth time! 😂😂
I think you're correct in saying both ends of the 'serious to fluffy' perspective equally reflect the current state of a culture, and can be usefully read in contrast/comparison with each other? 🙂
TBH I would also argue that A) Majority of people's attitudes are influenced FAR more by popular entertainment than by high-brow media, and B) Some media actually seems to migrate from one end of that spectrum to the other over time, in terms of whether it's considered 'high' or 'low' culture? Think e.g. Shakespeare (originally fairly derivative crowdpleasers), Dante (basically self-insert fanfic of the Greco-Roman classics) or Virgil (writing an unauthorized sequel to the Homeric epics)....?
your script writing is just next level
I worked in a bookstore, and not even my bosses sold me on “My Year of Rest and Relaxation” the way you did in this video!
I have never understood post-feminism until this moment. I am inebriated as shit, and I think that might have contributed. Great video, Bro.
Never watched Sex and the City and always sort of had mild contempt for it but this gave me an appreciation for it. I'd also been sort of contemplating the paranoid/reparative reading thing w/r/t the often unsatisfyingly vigilant or stultifying or thought-terminating nature of online discourse etc and having this concept raised here was successful for me in making both the subject of vid and my unrelated thoughts more explicit.
AMAZING!!!! This is one of the best video essays I have ever seen and I've seen many. The part where you spoke about the individualism, influence of late capitalism and lack of human bonds/sterile cold unmaternal attitudes of the women in the show encapsulated and perfectly articulated a deep and indescribable feeling I've had for SOO long. Wow. Masterfully written, presented, everything! I want to check out that book now too. All the sources you bring in are so fascinating! It's just amazing how you created this. I can't even comprehend it. Bravo it's just beyond superb and masterful!!!!
The "paranoid" reading, regardless of the nature of the word paranoid, is definitely an interesting idea. Thank you so much for bringing in Sedgwick's thoughts! I found that the conclusion for this video really summarized exactly how I feel about the non-nuanced criticisms of Sex and the City and post-feminism critiques of certain media in general.
I think nuance is very important, which is why I support reparative readings. I can't speak for all communities, but as a queer person I find that in the queer community there are many texts and forms of media that require reparative reading in the modern age but remain major pillars of the queer community for one reason or another. Likewise, there are pieces of media that matter in my defining femininity and womanhood for myself that also require a nuanced reading because it's important to recognize certain degrees of privilege in those definitions.
This was a fantastic video, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and creating such an interesting discussion!
As a polsci student that is interested in media analysis, this vid essay is everything. Then again, most of your videos are:) keep doing what you do
Whilst I love the focus on female friendship, it does paint a bit of an unrealistic view (for most ppl) of friendship in your 30s (interestingly perhaps more close to what u can have in your early 20s before ppl become more enveloped by their jobs or intimate relationships). Tho perhaps that is just my experience.
Yeah. I love my friends and love any minute I can get in their presence, but once we all got into our careers, nobody has time for each other anymore. Our kids and our jobs and all that are just so demanding on our time. It would be amazing if we could all meet for lunch several times a week like the women in SATC, but that was never something we could do sustainably.
I wonder what you'd make of Supergirl (2015-21) because it's absolutely on that Mary Tyler Moore-Ally McBeal-SATC spectrum while also being a SF action show
The show was ahead of it's time when it came out. There was interracial romances in the show. Samantha, Miranda, and Mr. Big both had African American boyfriends and girlfriends. Samantha had a girlfriend of Latin descent. Remember it was still somewhat taboo in the late 1990s and early 00s to have these kind of relationships on screen. The cast did complain about the lack of diversity in the late 90s. I was put off by how waspy everything was. As someone who has lived in New York, it is a multicultural paradise. That is what makes NYC awesome. In defense of the show, I think these women wanted to evolve into stronger feminists, but society at the time would not allow it, by shaming them. I did think it was odd that they were being shamed for being 30 something and single. That is very common in New York as well as other big cities. I think the show was not as progressive as it should have been because it have to cater to middle America and the bible belt.
I blame Michael Patrick King for the downslide of the show and films. He has such a cheesy, shallow, consumerist sensibility.
When it was good, the show owed its roots to the film Miami Rhapsody with SJP (totally the precursor), Darren Starr realizing he could turn it into a female Dream On for HBO, and all the fantastic women writers on SATC who created based on their real world sensibilities and experiences with bite and flair. One of them should have been made the show runner.
I appreciate your conclusion about the characters adopting attachment and warmth more as the series progressed, but the show also became cartoonish in its emphasis on fashion and money (as did the movies: spend, spend, spend!), crowding out realistic and meaningful material.
Another effect of "Ally McBeal", intentional or not, was the super-skinny, size zero phase that overtook the country in the late 90's/ early aughts. It's hard to fight for social change when you've starved yourself to the point where you can barely walk.
1:22 I totally stopped paying attention to the voice over and was solely focused on you. WOW BESTIE.
Your take is interesting, however as someone that first watched this show from Greece, where it started airing in 2001 (and I was around 20 at the time) it was completely revolutionary in terms of depicting the sex and dating lives of women. I never (neither anyone of my peers, other Greek girls in their 20s) viewed it as cynical or individualistic, but as an hearwarming and honest, never before seen potrayal of female frienship and dating life. As for the consumerism, well, any popular american show was kind of out of touch with Greek standards of living, so I thought it was.. just like that for everyone in the US!! The lack of represenation of BIPOC did not register either, as Greece was at the time an almost entirely white country. Not that I don't accept that these aspects are problematic, however you take is just so entirely different from that of my entire generation of young women from less "advanced" or developped" of countries around the world watching at the time, it just blows my mind. And of course it goes without saying that any take is relative, but I hope you understand that yours also is informed by growing up in north america (i guess...), viewing the show 20 (or 15?) years after each release and of being like two generarions removed from the protagonists. I guess our societies at the time (outiside north-western europe/north amercia etc) were so much more patriarchal and misogynistic that we could't see, or didn't care about aspects of the show as consumerism, what was important for us was this revolutionary (and tender, I am very surpsised you find it cynical and jaded!!) honest potrayal of womens' conversations, friendships and quest for love.
I just don't see how fair it is to hold media that was created around 25 years ago, to modern standards. The world has changed and so has media. Things that seemed progressive back then, cannot possibly hold up to today's standards.
Also, the characters in SATC constantly call each other out and, to me, the show never seemed to glorify the characters or portray them as heroes, but rather as flawed human beings.
It's still a very well written show with memorable acting ESPECIALLY by today's standards of heartless mass production.
Lessss goooo new Broey deschanel video
SATC looks like a show about shoes and taxi rides, but it's really a show about friendship, as opposed to Girls, which looks like a show about friendship but it is actually a show about selfish and individualistic self-entitled young women who dream success.
Disagree. SATC merely TEASED us with the notion that female friends could “be each other’s soulmates”-before dishing out the standard marriage-as-happy-ending for three of the four leads (and even what at the time looked like LTR for Samantha). No radical vision of permanent “chosen family” here!
@@terry9238 it's not like they parted ways as soon as they got married. You can have BOTH friendship AND a marriage. Although I admit that the way they handled the show at the end kind of betrayed its initial spirit.
Re: reparative readings, there is a (mid 20th century) writer, whose use of language I admire greatly. Like, best of the best, favorite of all time, all that jazz. Great at drawing very life-like characters in just a few words, too. And the writer is a man, and a pretty sexist one at that. Which means that when reading his female characters I can recognize their humanity, the human detail, and also clearly, visibly see that something is broken within there. A fundamental disconnect between a person and the way this man who refuses to understand her sees her. It's quite uncanny! But also instructive, and again, the dude is sexist, so most of his characters are also male, and the uncanny disconnect does not exist there.
Don't know if this made any sense, but hey, a comment for the algorithm none-the-less!
please do tell us the name of the writer you're talking about, and not leave us hanging to your intriguing comment 🙄🧙♀️🙏
@@luc2631 commenting cause I wanna know too 😅
makes me think of Murakami
@@luc2631 I don't have comment notifs turned on, sorry! He's name is Mika Waltari, he wrote in Finnish originally, don't know how the language thing works in translation
@@suvinuoska thank you for answering!
Never having had interest in Sex and the City, and I'm not even sure if I've ever seen an entire episode of the show, I nonetheless found this video incredibly informative and entertaining.
I was not expecting the random greek subtitles in the movie clip I don't know why I found that so random and funny
I seriously love every single video you put out. It's a deep, well-researched, and thoughtful analysis every single time, and I come away having learned something new or thinking about a piece of media in a new way. I really feel like Sex and the City is the kind of show I would love to watch and apply the type of framework that you encourage in this video.
For those of us who live on Twitter, it's really easy to become increasingly irritated by the overexposure of 280 character "takes" that, at best, are a neutral expression of someone's opinion that (through recommendations, likes, etc) gets unfortunately shoved down thousands of people's throats without their permission. That in turn makes all of us more miserable and arguing over topics in a deeply aggressive manner that we literally wouldn't have cared about any other day, lol. So I just wanted to say that I love these 45 minute bangers that really focus on a core argument and unfold in a really cool way. It is long overdue but I've finally subscribed to your Patreon, and I can't wait to see what you work on next!
Also, re: your pinned comment. I too have the same gut reaction to Sedgwick's term of "paranoid". The term itself gets thrown around a lot these days (sometimes too much), but I feel like I've rarely seen discussion about how the term itself is constructed. That being said, I'm sure you've read her more than me, so I can only describe how I feel with little evidence to back it up. Mostly I feel sad that the attitude is increasingly being used to shut down conversations started by well-intentioned people that are trying to think about how these shows (including Succession, The White Lotus, The Sopranos, etc) are interesting and necessary for look into certain psyches, but simultaneously asking us to still care about (and throw the most accolades and critical acclaim toward) the psychology of an overrepresented/oppressive group. Not everyone, rightly so, finds value in that kind of art being praised year after year.
unpopular opinion: the second time aidan and carrie broke up was not carrie's fault. she thought she was ready to get married but she wasn't. it happens. it sucks but people change their minds, they get scared and they are allowed to do so. in that situation, carrie did the only good thing she could - she was honest with aidan, gave him an opportunity to voice his feelings and tried to move the relationship forward. what aidan did next was pretty shitty. having told carrie that he understood her feelings and was ok with postponing their engagement, he ambushes her by trying to pressure to get married out of the blue one night and does one of the most manipulative and unproductive things you can do in a relationship - gives her an ultimatum. marry me now even though you're not ready or we're over. i mean, what did he expect to happen? that she would magically become ready and leap into a nuclear family with him? i'm not saying it's entirely his fault, it sucks learning your partner isn't in the same place you are but he handled it really poorly. not to mention, after they broke up he had her evicted. i mean what kind of shitty behaviour is that?
Totally agree!! Better to be honest and vulnerable even if there’s momentary pain/discomfort rather than get married and waste more of that person’s life, time etc living a lie out of fear.
Aiden sucked! I’ll die on that hill even though I named my son Aiden and may or may not have never heard that name before then.
i think i've watched this show beginning to end about 10 times, so i know what you mean in that it's captivating and i keep coming back to it and i'm not sure why. i usually just skip bits or episodes that are so politically tone deaf it hurts, and my watching experience is filled with a lot of eye rolling and their approaches to problem solving, but idk man i still get invested every time.
I just recently finished the show. The way I interpret the show with its biphobic/transphobic and racist episodes is its historical piece that exposes the isolatedness and shelteredness you spoke about of white women. Its a show exposing truth, and what I find more crazier than the racism and bigotry on the show is the show gaslighting me to think they can take a cab everywhere. the traffic in manhattan is ridiculous!!! i found myself crunching numbers trying to figure out how on earth they can could afford new york. regardless, i don't want to justify these women in any way, but they are reflections of the time and in many ways there are things we can still learn from them and reject things as the past.
I was rewatching sex and the city recently and that episode where Samantha practically fetishes that one black man and his sister was just trying to be protective made me CRINGGGGEEE
Like it gave off emotional incest, it gave off fetish, it gave off "how dare a black woman tell me no"
Ughh
Yeah, like real life. That's why it's good for shows to depict it.
@@thesecondUA-cam exactly, white women can be completely inappropriate and I think they need to see it lol
I love this essay so much I continuously find myself coming back to it. It’s such an interesting look at feminism and human desire
I watched Sex and the City movie today, and I was very very confused on what I was watching. I'll skip over my overly complicated emotions, but I found myself always happy and somewhat emotional when the parts that reflected human connections happened, like Miranda and her husband meeting at the bridge, the joy of the woman who couldnt get pregnant being able to have a kid, etc etc, a part of me was both happy that in all the cynicism I was experieincing and biases I carry, I could still find myself happy for the women when they were together and you could see how happy they were from the fact that they have each other at least no matter what. A part of me was deeply disturbed, but another was really happy that in the craziest of media the things that make people the happiest or more meaningful are human connections
I was listening to this video while washing the dishes and got a mid-roll ad for a murder-themed puzzle subscription thing that was like "after a long day of feeling nothing at work, I need more than social media to calm down, you know? in these monotonous times, I need something...dangerous...to relax" and I definitely thought it was like, a parodic sketch from the show,
As a super fan of SATC (and Ally McBeal), even with all its problematic bits, I really enjoyed watching this. And I was geeked to see that Ottessa’s book was included as I read it last year! Thank you for all this research.
This is the best thing I've come across in the internet for a very long time, thank you! I stumbled across this video whilst procrastinating from uni readings in global political economy and funnily enough this video helped me to comprehend real-life consequences of neoliberal politics better than any of the articles provided. Keep up the good work!
I have such an unbelievable love/hate relationship with this show, I can't even put it into words.
I feel a bit breathless after watching this-- a really insightful, intelligent, and compassionate critique of SATC and surrounding media. Thanks for creating this video!
Oh boy I watched a bunch of this show with my sister and have tried to block it out. This is bringing it all back but I'm still here for it haha
Here I am once again devouring a Broey video on something I only have second-hand knowledge about
I found this channel completely by accident and it is giving endless insight. Loved this. Thank you ❤
Sex and the City and dunking on Fukuyama, my two favourite things. Love you Broey xx