Ok, this sounds ridiculous but....when I am having a bad day, I go to the library. I get the same dopamine release while searching the aisles for books as I would from shopping. And I have spent no money. And then I have a whole stack of books that make my bad day better.
Wow, that is such a great way of looking at purchases. Such a fair and critical approach. I'm going to have to start using that Hannah, that's brilliant!
We are trying to raise our toddler with this mindset. We do lots of sustainable things already in our home but unfortunately we are not able to control what goes on outside of our home. It’s more difficult to control our family members wanting to buy her things.
I discuss this in my classes if that gives you some hope 🙃 I teach Spanish so it’s hard to do since I have to use Spanish all the time but in my higher levels I try to take advantage of the opportunities when these things come up.
@@AbbyS228 just a suggestion.....what about setting up a trust fund/ some type of account. People can deposit what they want in lieu of gift they were going to buy. You can make it clear any amount small or large is appreciated. You could maybe give the account number so they don't have over cash if they find it embarrassing. You could tell me the purpose of it...e.g. future education, so they can feel the contribution effect.....
Another habit to break: browsing during a sale. I'm all for utilizing sales, but have a wishlist ready before any sale with items you've been eyeing for some time, only shop your wishlist and don't add anything else to your cart. If there's nothing on your wishlist just skip the sale.
when something is advertised to me constantly, it has the opposite effect - I get annoyed and get turned off buying it....sometimes it turns me off all that brands products!
As of last year, my 3 brothers and I agreed to no longer give each other gifts for Christmas or our birthdays. It is none of our love languages and my brothers are terrible gift givers. Now that all 4 of us are adults, we have our own money to purchase things we want/need. Gift giving is no longer needed, we'd all prefer just to have dinner and cake together instead. It was an awkward conversation at first, but it turned out we've each had that conversation seperately. We also collaborate to get larger, more meaningful gifts for our parents! Yay less stuff!
We did something similar with my extended family, we get each other useful things instead of christmas decorations etc. Be it soaps, body care products, socks etc. When I was younger I didn't like it but now I can really appreciate it. Also people need to normalise asking the other person what present would they need. I was a big fan of surprises but unfortunately they rarely prove to be needed items. We also gift experiences (like a massage session for my very stressed cousin) and DI Y a lot :)
I used to do this with my mum. When she passed away, all those times we went and had coffee and cake together or a dinner and had deep and meaningful or fun chats became memories, so much better than giving gifts that get forgotten....
I love this. Having dinner is a great replacement for presents. If someone is a gift-giver then letting everyone make one thing would still count as a gift. Also dinner can could as experience, physical touch (hugs) and other love languages.
I do appreciate Gmail for sorting 95% of the brand emails into promotions. If I have a purchase to make I'll go look for an email from them to see if theres a sale or something but otherwise they just mount up and I delete them 100 or so at a time.
I'm happy to say that I have not done any Christmas shopping/gift giving for 8 years. My family is small and we decided to instead do a family activity around Christmas time (bowling, skiing, etc.) and we also do a family vacation around mid-end January. Everyone just pays for themselves and we enjoy quality time. It completely eliminated the stress and pressure that comes with the holidays...and we still build great memories.
I don't have an issue with online shopping like many people I know do, and I think one thing that has really helped me with that is I don't save my credit card details on my browser or make any company accounts that save those details. Often just the thought of having to get up from my couch to get my wallet is enough of a deterrent!
Same! I would tell myself, "Maybe later when I need to get up." Then I completely forget the thing I looked at online and realize I really didn't need it.
Referring to the concern of buying a tool with a specific purpose, many hardware stores offer renting tools for a certain amount of time so you can use that specific tool you need, but not have to buy it
Thank you so much Evee! I was scrolling through the comments (which I never do) just to see if anyone else points this out! SOOOO many tools can be rented from just about any hardware store and some local community places as well. Please look into proper tools before you try to MacGyver something that usually leads to injury and failure.
Since talking about this stuff with my partner, he’s taken to fixing things more. Today he fixed our coffee machine by replacing some very small specific part. Researching the issue when it first happened, it’s a known issue with this machine that the company just hasn’t improved. Most people will buy a new machine rather than complain I think. But my partner fixed it and he’s also fixed our washing machine, our lawn mower and a button on his xbox control. But the real benefit is he gets such a kick out of it and a sense of accomplishment! He’ll say every couple days “hey remember when I fixed ______?”
Yes! My dad is always fixing things in a house. Like the washing machine and everything, actually. In my country it is common to fix things by ourselves, I think we don’t buy the entire new thing. We just fix it and I also think that it is a great way for a man to have like.. his impact in the house, if he isnt like cleaning or cooking or something. When they can do it they feel happy afterwards, just like you said and it is so good. ❤️
@@nancyplants757 This might make me look greedy to some, but I swear it’s not my intention. I keep an updated registry for my kids year round. So when Birthdays/holidays come up they don’t get stuff they don’t need and I send out a family group text when my kids change clothing/shoe/etc sizes. We live in a 2 bedroom apt and there’s 5 of us. Our kids are 2,1, and I’m due with #3 next month. There at that stage where everyone wants to spoil them and we just don’t have the space. Do what you have too even if you feel strange doing it. I know it’s helped us!
I've literally been arguing with my future MIL because literally the best thing for us would be just money for the wedding but she insists on wanting to buy us a bunch of stuff for Christmas. Kinda infuriating but also I feel a little bad being picky about gifts? So idk
Whenever I buy something and the packaging is fairly clean/label free, I always save the packaging for wrapping presents! I have a stash of clean paper bags that I'm going to have my son decorate for our family members so they get some one-of-a-kind art too.
My friends and I give each other group event vouchers for our birthdays, making memories together and sometimes even doing stuff that makes you leave your comfort zone is so much better than just buying/receiving stuff. The hubby and I just go out to a nice dinner for our anniversary/birthdays and for Christmas we get something that we really need in our home.
Edible/drinkable gifts are my favorite. Its not completely zero waste but at least its not gonna sit around catching dust or be tucked away somewhere in the back of a wardrobe.
Yes😊 I recently bought (don't worry, it was from a thrift shop) a cool cookie container thing that matches my room, and for Christmas I'll ask for chocolates to put in it so I don't have to by them myself😂
Not just the worst time during the holidays for waste, but also for many animals are bought as a gift that are given to shelters or dropped somewhere because they're not actually wanted😣
I was babysitting for a wealthy family this last summer and on my second day they had a new fridge coming in because their last one wasn't working. They told me it wouldn't make ice anymore and you couldn't get the water from it. When they came to replace it the son was like all we had to do was press the button for it to make ice. He was 8 years old and no one listened to him but the people who were replacing it looked at it and was like "oh yeah it's off also it stopped making water because you needed to replace the filter". I could not believe that this family bought a whole new refrigerator because they didn't turn on the make ice button and replace a filter. A perfectly good refrigerator went to the landfill :(
@@TammyAyra I honestly think they just didn't want to deal with it. They also sent their kids to summer camp for most of the summer and I was only there to watch them for the 1 week before camp started. My point being I think for them it was easier to just throw it out than to try to figure out what was wrong with everything else they were doing. I don't agree with it but that's how some people are
Since a few years now my family and I just tell each other what we want for Christmas lol takes the surprise out of it but it's totally worth it to not get stuff you don't want or need
I love this video! I dread Christmastime, two years ago I asked if my family would stop giving me material gifts and it caused a huge fight. I conceded pretty quickly, now I’m just hoping that by giving more sustainable gifts it’ll rub off on my family.
I love what you are doing. I started my environmentalist journey in the 60's when I was in high school, in California, and am still on the road, doing everything I can to protect our earth. I am 71 now and still teaching Theology at an all girls high school. It is the perfect environment to help young women discover what they can do to protect the earth and becoming self-reliant through Project Based Learning. I have signed up for your newsletter and will be sharing your videos with my classes.
Shelbizleee....... This is the BEST VIDEO OF YOURS!!!!! Effing brilliant. I'm a Financial Planner in Canada, but we have the same comsumer habits you have in the States. Also, I've been becoming more conscious of how my actions impact the environment. From both of these sides of me, this video is PERFECTION. The dopamine response when you buy something? Super real! Then when you followed that up by increasing your base line happiness instead of riding the ups and downs? Epic. Keep up the amazing work!!!!
My boyfriend and I just don't buy each other gifts. And NO, it doesn't affect our relationship whatsoever! We're not sad, we're not missing out of anything, and we're not cheap. His family never gave him gifts except for 50eur for big occasions like graduation and we don't plan on giving our children any gifts either. All our children's toys will be donated and we will let them know that Santa didn't give it to them but kind people did. I like to hand-make my boyfriend a card for his birthday and our anniversary just because I like making crafts and expressing myself in letters. And I don't mind that he doesn't give me anything (he says he's incapable), he takes me on the most amazing vacations and I appreciate them much more than I would a dress or a watch
My husband and I don't either, and we've been together over 15 years. We buy things we want/need at the appropriate time, and call it our gift lol. And we don't exchange greeting cards either, what a waste of money and resources.
I feel bad for your kids . Reminds me of jehovah witness nightmares where the kids can't even celebrate birthdays or Christmas, and therefore no toys. I'm not saying they need an endless amount of toys, but that is missing out on childhood. And telling kids Santa brought it never hurt anyone. We all are okay.
Yep. Growing up in Nigeria, my parents didn't give us gifts either. If we wanted to give my parents something we'll make cards and give it to them. We mostly just went to the beach (doesn't snow in Nigeria), had fun with friends and that was it.
The biggest things that stops me from buying stuff while living in apartment is where will I store it. I love my space and being able to breathe without clutter everywhere.
I've had tons of success with getting and giving away things on my local buy nothing Facebook group. If I need something that I will only use once or twice (like a sewing machine, for example) I can borrow it on buy nothing, and if I have something that I think someone else would benefit from (like an old vacuum) I know I can find a good home for it.
Joining a Buy Nothing group was a huge game changer for me. I was super bummed when I moved to an area without one but I'm working on getting my own off the ground because I think they are such a valuable community resource
I wanted to like buy nothing groups but unfortunately I’ve had nothing but bad experiences the three times I’ve tried to join them. Either there was a few members and literally no one participated at all or I joined one and the people where so incredibly rude. Saying they wanted a item and then never coming to get it or worse saying they where in their way so you put it out front and then hours later saying they can’t make it and then the item has been sitting outside in the rain or heat (I live in Florida where it rains almost every day). I finally just gave up and left the group because there was multiple situations where the people where just very rude and inconsiderate of my time and energy. 😔
@@AbbyS228 That's incredibly frustrating! I've been selling on facebook marketplace and it's incredibly frustrating how many people reach out, say they want to pick something out and then go dark. I could see it being even more frustrating when it's in a community of people that are all supposed to be in it together.
I believe it was Adam Ruins Everything who did a segment on gift giving and the many downfalls of it. Basically. Most people give terrible gifts. 😂 Even if its not on purpose. I’ve been given plenty of items and that I’m like “greeeeeat, what am I gonna do with this now???? Eh I’ll just donate it.” Or it gets shoved away in storage somewhere. I wish it was more acceptable to just tell people that you dont want any gifts or you dont want to partake in gift giving. I know its a pretty common and important love language for many but “its the thought that counts” isn’t enough when you’re constantly given stuff you dont like/want/need and now its your responsibility to deal with it. :/ I wish people weren’t so obsessed with gift giving especially during the holidays. We’d all save so much time, money, and stress. Lol
I love Adam Ruins Everything! Adam's podcast 'factually' is an extension of the part of the show where he talks to experts-its one of my favourite podcasts of all time and I have learned SO MUCH from listening to it!
Adam can't ruin anything because he just manipulates facts. Many people have made videos on debunking the him, and how that show cherry picks its info. Even Joe Rogan folded his ass with basic counter arguments and questions. Although I'm sure not all of his episodes are liberal propaganda trash.
Adam Ruins Everything! I loved that show so much for so long, and then we switched to Nexflix and Hulu instead of live TV, and Netflix only had season 1 of his show. So I watched those episodes over and over😂 But then Netflix took that season off too!!!😭
Well, I know it sucks, but until it's changed heres some things we can do. 🌍 Ask for very specific gifts. For example instead of writing, "perfume" write "winter berry lust Bath and Body perfume" 🌍 Regift the gifts you don't like! This could be regifting them to friends and family, or it could be donating them to the thrift shop 🌍 Sell the gifts you don't like!
I think it would be INCREDIBLY helpful if you did a video on how to buy a second hand or refurbished cellphone. Since it's way better for the environment but there are concerns of getting ripped off, not having a warranty if it breaks, pros and cons etc. Have a great day!
I got my phone from Fonum, it's a company that buys used phones, fixes them, removes the data, returns original settings, and resells the phones. They offer a year-long warrantly and a repair service. Good customer service. There are other companies that offer similar service too. Another plus was it came in minimal cardboard packaging, without plastic. I wouldn't buy from individuals, as there's always a risk it's stolen, there's data still in there, or it's in some way broken.
Fellow UK beans - peace with the wild (it's like earth hero) have some absolutely wonderful gift sets, all sustainable brands and low/zero waste packaging etc and there's a wide range! If you still really want to get some things over holiday season x
This year I had a talk with my mom about only wanting one specific thing, and not wanting to have a “big” Christmas and she took it really well. It’s harder with extended family though, especially because they don’t know me at all, so they definitely get me things I don’t need.
I love your channel and your videos Shelby. I like how much you focus on reducing consumption, because I run across SOOO many people who claim to be environmentalists and yet still go shopping all the time, buy lots of items they don't need, get brand new cars every few years, etc. and it drives me nuts!
I never put my payment info onto the “save feature” for all online shopping so that you don’t need to type in the card info every time. And leave my cards in my wallet in my purse in the front closet - if I’m too lazy to get up get the card and sit back down and type in all the info - I don’t buy it! It also helps me have a moment to get out of that oh that’s cute I want it - mind set - and even if I have went to get me card sometimes I realize I don’t actually need that specific item and usually won’t buy anything or I end up finding a similar item second hand or one I already have
Sustainable gifting from a Mom: 1. Within the household we wrap in fabric which looks lovely and can be reused year after year. 2. For friends and relatives I default to gift bags- mine are often reused from presents I received and I often get used bags from friends and family too. (My step mother and I have been handing the same bags back and forth for almost 10 years.) 3. Be ready for the non-reusable wrappings. We have a city limit on how many garbage bags can be put out. Despite having a household of twice the average we have never had to request an allowance of more garbage. On the morning I have ready a bag for compostable, recyclables and the actual garbage. As the kids gifts are opened, each package is broken down into component parts. Boxes can be reused and so are stored. Cardboard is recyclable. Plastic is recyclable. Our local compost program allows paper wrapping paper (plastic tape removed.)
Excellent video. I'm a bit of a beginner with getting really conscious about minimalism and sustainability, and I was happy to find your channel. Excellent production quality and I like your style of straight talk without shaming. Thanks!
Some years ago, a method i kinda made for myself to stop spending was “waiting until i deserved/needed it”. So i would think “do i deserve this starbucks, or should i wait until friday, and then i know i worked for it.” Or “do i need a haircut? Or can it wait 3 more weeks until next month?” Or “do i need to go shopping for this item? Or can it wait until the next time i go shopping with my mom in a month?” And by doing this waiting game, i ended up buying less things, and also less often. And that’s what worked for me in the wee-beginnings of my anti-consumerism. :)
I grew up dirt poor so I was always of the mindset that shopping is something *other* people get to do and that things in shops are not there for *me* to purchase. This unintentional anti-consumerism mentality eventually morphed into a very healthy love of window shopping with friends, where I am perfectly able to go look at all the cool things I *can* buy and can *afford* to buy, but still just doesn't really occur to me that these things are things I actually *need* . Growing up poor meant money was only for the things you *need* and that mindset has stuck with me all my life.
Having a wait period before buying things has made a huge difference for me, as well as asking 'do I need this?' And 'where will it go?' (This is especially important for decor items as there's so much gorgeous handmade stuff out there, but there's a limited amount of space in my flat so deciding where to put something before buying it changes your view drastically). And when it comes to storage items I no longer buy it just in case, but only when I know exactly what needs storing (once I've decluttered and organised) as otherwise you just end up buying stuff to put more stuff in. I do find it especially difficult buying gifts as I want to be thoughtful, so I usually aim for needs, with a touch of beauty, or food gifts (though my family no longer want food gifts and already have everything which makes them super hard to gift to). I genuinely love giving gifts which sometimes makes it difficult to not buy something just for the sake of it, though I'm getting better at this.
You're actually helping me a looot! I'm paying attention more about things that were.. normal to buy, have or do. Thanks for inspiring me and so many people in this community you've created 🥰
Great video! I am not a huge shopper but there are still habits I can adopt here for sure. Especially the emails from brands. Ugh! They are the worst & totally clutter up your email inbox. I really appreciated the section on scarcity mentality too - thinking we don't have enough and therefore we must buy it all! A good reminder to keep that scarcity saboteur in check! Thank you for sharing this and all the information about trash too. The world needs this right now! 🌎 🙏🏼💞
My mom still feels that she needs to buy my sister and I many many gifts even though we are both adults now. I think she feels like she needs to "fill the space fully" under the tree like she did when we were small and got lots of toys every year. This year I requested we all try a 'utilitarian Christmas'. Each of us is making an extensive list of things we NEED/regularly use/have dreamed of owning: that way mom can feel like she is still getting us ENOUGH, but not as much stuff is wasted or regifted. So far, it has made my own shopping SO much easier.
I first found your channel last year when I was spending time removing the lights from a prelit tree. I couldn’t bear to throw out a perfectly good tree because of the lights. It was a chore but worth it to save money and a lot of trash. I’ve now removed the lights on several trees-no more prelit trees for me what a waste.
Yes! Exactly this. I spend so much time thinking about gifts for others that will fulfill their lives. The gift and toy waste for my kids kills me, so I try and suggest "experiences" or some sustainable options that I know they'll us OR kids will always grow into clothes. I know people probably find that annoying or controlling but IDC. Trying to make an emergency fund, and putting that out of sight out of mind is key! Thanks Shelbi
I was decluttering my closet and I got rid of this black work trousers because the seams were ripping. I was so tempted to buy another one to replace it but I held back. I’m working from home anyway so why not just put it off till when I really need a new one for work.
I completely agree on these points! I let stuff sit in my chart for a good while before I purchase and its really helped with my conscious buying! I also have been putting secondhand items on my gift lists so that way I'm not using new resources when there are things I'd like to have
I started having a mental individual budget for different items, basically what I'm willing to spend on clothes, decor, etc. and that stops me a lot from buying things new that I could get second hand, or buying things at all, so that's really helped me
I survived the collage with one pot( I cooked everything in it). The second year I got a pan too. So I survived all 5 years with these 2 plus I had 1 items for every kitchen utensils that time, so I think everyone can survive with less stuff.
Thanks for showing a screen of the questions to ask yourself before purchasing (took a screenshot) and informing people of the importance of an emergency fund! I felt a lot more secure once I set aside that money and didn't touch it, I actually keep adding to it.
I've been agonising over what to get my family. In the end it's a mix of things that are recyclable and vouchers for food or experiences I know they like. I have asked them to get me nothing.
I’m so glad I started watching your channel. Recently whenever it’s someone’s birthday, etc I’ve been a lot more conscious about getting something less wasteful. So this year for my sister’s birthday, I got her some clothes from the thrift store that were good quality and I know are of the style she likes. And then last year for Christmas, I got my friend some chocolates in a compostable wrapper and a beeswax candle. Small steps, but I’m glad to be getting there
A couple years ago our dryer (which we bought from the lady we bought the house from 13 years ago) stopped running. Turns out the sensor on the door was broken. My husband purchased a new sensor on Amazon for $12 and voila, it worked just fine again!
My sister in law insists on getting us GAG GIFTS every year that we do not like or want. They end up being sent to goodwill immediately 🙄. She also asks us what to get for our daughter but never uses our suggestions, so we end up with cheap junky toys that never get used and get donated in a month. It makes me crazy but I don’t know how to politely avoid it! If we told her not to give gifts she would anyway 😫
It is so annoying when people literally ignore your requests not to buy useless crap. I would try requesting candy and cookies, wine, fruit baskets, etc. At least then you could enjoy eating the gift, or even regifting something that is a consumable gift, vs a trash gag gift, or a junk toy. For the child I would try to see if she would give items that are useful for school. Pens, markers, paper tablets, paints, etc. good luck
this year is the first holiday season where i'm trying to keep all my gifts as sustainable as possible and i'm so excited for it ☺️ watching your videos this year has definitely contributed to me finally being nicer to our planet now, so thank you for that
It took a few years for gift giving to die off after I first discussed it with my family. My fiancé can't bring himself to stop it though, and I can't bear to be opening gifts from him when he has nothing from me. As a compromise I buy him good quality versions of things he needs, like a diary (which he uses daily), slippers, soap/toiletries and chocolate. I have more than everything I need so I also drop hints as to what I want - it's usually books, although this year it's a new waste bin for my kitchen lol.
Don't need a ton of new Christmas decor this year, but I'm selling old stuff and getting a few things from an Etsy seller and FB marketplace! I love getting rid of something everytime i bring in something new.
love that gauzy top, shelbi! also, love love the intentional shopping reminder. i keep trying to do a no-buy/ low-buy, but it's been hard since there are deals everywhere right now and my new roommates are hyper-consumers. thank you for the reminder that every object has a cost, even if it's invisible!
Shelby mentioned the getting rid of the scarcity mindset and it really works. I did this before this video but never had the words for it. So basically, try putting your paycheck (minus bills) into your savings account for around 3 months. Once you see how much you have, you'll be motivated to keep saving and spend way less.
My family, friends and I don't celebrate Christmas, but we do give gifts anytime in the year for no special occasion. I got my mom, sisters, and friends, personal alarms! I was just thinking of getting myself one and decided to get more to give them away just because I thought they would need it. I feel like that's a very good gift idea because it can save their lives! They all loved them! 😁
In regards to newsletters and brand emails, I managed to learn not to make a purchase every single time I receive one. Nowadays I make a list of things I actually need to buy, and then spend some days rethinking it. Then, when an email comes in that a specific company has a sale, I just buy what I truly need and not even look at other items. It takes a lot of self discipline, but this way I actually save some money as well.
The past few years my family has given up on trying to guess what each other wants so now we do a secret Santa (so you dont have to buy things for every person) and then we leave a list of possible things that we actually want. Its SOOOO much easier, more cost effective, and of course leads to less waste from unwanted gifts haha. This year I’m also going to switch to newspaper for wrapping gifts. ( i work at a store that puts out daily newspaper and every morning we throw out all the newspaper that didnt sell so super wasteful)
Just want to say, if you're using newspaper, my dad always wrapped big gifts in the colored Sunday comics pages. They were fun to open and run to read! Highly recommend going for comics if you've got the flexibility to do so.
Thank you for talking retail therapy and how traditional and digital marketing gets ya to buy stuff through pop ups and Card saving technology. Its really important to teach the younger generation about how that works as incentives to get you to buy. I wish I had seen your videos when I was in my 20's and went shopping with my friends as something to do when bored. Unfortunately you weren't youtubing your content about this then.. but I'm glad you are helping others now.
These are such great tips. I definitely am working on being more mindful with my purchases. I love the way you speak and get right to the point quickly.🥰🥰🥰
Yess! I am so blessed that my partner is an engineer. Our roomba broke and I was so bummed not only because of the price but the waste. He completely rebuilt it for me and it was under $20.
The little whisk on our Roomba stopped working. It was very tight to turn manually. We loosened it with a screwdriver and so far it seems to have worked
Baby steps, I’m only buying things people want/need and try to buy them from smaller companies or buying used and making a list of things I really want/need.
Amazing video as always, I took notes!!! Shelby THANK YOU for everything you do for the planet. You have inspired me, you have re-ignited my passion for sustainability, you inspired me to start a channel about minimalism, and to be more conscious with every single little thing I buy. I went to the beach after a storm yesterday, and millions of bits of plastic had washed up, Gatorade bottles, beer cans, even needles. I live in the Pacific Northwest, somewhere I generally think of as clean, but there's no ignoring it anymore. With the plastic that I saw and this summer's fires, I'm fed up, I'm heartbroken. We must change. We must do better. Bravo for leading this charge. I willingly join the fight
the emotional buying is so true, i struggle with it a lot, sometimes when i go out to do something and it's stressful i go and buy something afterwards to cheer myself up and "reward myself" even if the stressful thing already involved buying things (the other day i had to shop for some things i needed and i needed to work with a tight budget and not buy anything except what i needed and then after i did it i still had some money so i bought a keychain as a reward even though i already have more keychains on my keys than i have actual keys)
I'm not a hyperconsumer and never had a shopping problem, but even so, with my depression I feel the urge to shop quite often (online). What I do though, is go to those websites and search for what I would like to potentially buy, imagine I'm buying it, put it in the cart, open more websites with that product and compare prices, play around with carts on different sites, put in and take out stuff from my cart, bookmark a product I liked etc. And I found this to be really helping, because I am quite fulfilling that dopamine release I need by looking at stuff to buy without actually buying them for most of the time. And by repeating this every time I have this need, it means I end up following the price trends, reading and comparing more, generally researching quite well into a product before buying it. And even sometimes I find that I don't want that product anymore or I want something different.
hey shelbi!! i have a question. when my family goes to the grocery store and forget the reusable bags, they will get the paper bags. i have asked my family to wrap my presents in those paper bags( because we save them). is this sustainable??? and i love your vids!!!! ❤️
Skillshare is such an underrated tool to use!!! Also, Shelbi, what a beautiful set behind you, I want to be better with plants now and try to grow home plants, especially in my kids’ room🙌🏼🌿
Growing up the focus was on quantity of gifts but this year I realized that it makes more sense to get each person one gift that's more expensive than I would usually buy rather than a bunch of random little cheap things. I'm also focusing on buying from individual artists and small businesses.
I mean... I'm sorry to go off-topic, but I love your couch (the big one with the chaise and ottoman)! Seems like such a versatile piece, and look so nice!
I've had the exact same evolution as you. I used to check fast fashion eshops and make lists of the things I wanted to buy, I was even asking the store if xyz product had arrived, when they where expecting it to be on the shelves etc. Then I would spend my pocket money on that. 10 years later and I can proudly call my self an eco-minimalist: I follow every tip you said and I am in a much better state of mind. I still like browsing ethical & eco brands, but I recently unfollowed a ton of them- they were either too expensive or at the other side of the world. I also unsubscribed from almost all my email lists, where I would occasionally find myself wondering if I needed xyz product that was on sale or whatever. I now add things to my basket and wait until I'm 100% I need them AND be able to financially afford them. The moment I get paid I save some money in my piggy bank, because I wouldn't be able to afford vacation or pay an emergency cost otherwise. Thank you for sharing all these tips, they are very helpful and I wish I had watched a video like that when I was 15. Much love from Greece
I’ve really been trying to do better like this! There’s a few things that I have really been wanting and I’m like no I don’t need it, I know a few months will go by and I probably will not want it or need it! I’ve been doing this with my mom to, she’ll ask if something is cute and if she’ll get it and even if it is cute I say no you don’t need it and she hasn’t been getting it! I feel good about that. I also just started composting in the freezer before I can bring it to my aunts! I’m so happy and excited for all this stuff!
This year I am giving 3 family members and friends Booda Butter moisurizer from Booda Organics. Comes in a metal tin, all natural, vegan, hypo allergenic. They will be put into a cloth wrap with a homemade cross stitch ornament for their tree. that's it. When I'm feeling down, I tend to go to the library and "shop" their used book section and free magazine they are throwing away. I get something I want and it's not new so no resources were used and like this time I went, I got 6 Mary Jane's Farm magazines with TONS of recipes and tips that I plan on keeping. (PS - the little X in the upper righthand corner is almost always there)
Gift giving is my love language so this is such a tough one for me! A few years ago I said ENOUGH to all the stupid toys and knick knacks we were buying all the nieces and nephews. Who knows if they even played with them, they got so much junk on Christmas and couldn't tell you what came from who. I stopped buying gifts for them a few years ago and now once a year I'll take the kids out to do something special. We'll create some kind of memory together and see an ice skating show or go to see monster trucks. A big way i cut down on spending was the "where will this live when it's home?". I used to live in a small apartment and shopping for home decor gave me so much joy, until I got the items home and was struck with anxiety about where these things would go. I ended up having a spare room full of bags of merchandise that I didn't know what to do with. The source of joy became a source of anxiety. I told myself I couldn't purchase any more home decor until we moved into a house, which we did two years ago. Even now when I'm shopping for home decor for our house I get purchase anxiety! because I've switched my mindset to buying things that will last a long time, the decision to purchase something is much more serious because I'm "stuck"with it. It has swung the other way where now even if I want something and have been thinking about it for a while, I get too much anxiety to purchase it because it's such a commitment!
Such good advice. Thank you for being you and helping to inspire other people to do something different. I am grateful for you sharing and taking the time to make the videos you make.
I'm addicted to secondhand clothes shopping. 😄 Instagram thrift stores have boomed in my country. At last I can have a full wardrobe that I can afford. But I need to learn to find another way to make me happy.
I already always think very thoroughly on the gifts I give and that people will like and use. But I never saw it from the perspective of sustainability, that the habit I already have is more sustainable. It's nice to feel a little validated!
The scarcity mindset also helped me. There’s some sort of connection to amounts of money and how you save it. There is Wanting to spend a little money when there’s only a little money coming in and then there’s a shift in your mind to “saving mode” when you start to see more money than before and wanting to save it.
Does anyone have any advice on how to convince their family to buy less gifts/be more minimal with gifts for the holidays? I’ve tried making wishlists that focus more on experiences rather than objects or just explicitly asking for less stuff I don’t need but a lot of my family express their love through buying stuff. So they often just ignore my requests..lol
Maybe you could do some holiday shopping with them at thrift/vintage stores. This might show them a fun way to buy things in a more sustainable way? Or maybe trying to get plants as gifts? I know this is tough because I have family members that buy me a lot of things that they like, but aren’t really useful to me, like electronic gadgets and hair accessories. This will be especially tough when I move out of my parents house and people try to tell me I “need” certain things.
Maybe tell them you want things that you use up. Fancy food basket, nice beverages, body lotion... they can still buy things, you can enjoy them and when you use them up you don't have stuff everywhere. It's a win win and I personally use this as a gift giver and a gift receiver.
Maybe ask for very specific things? Like for example instead of "A candle" write "Sweather Weather candle by Bath and Body works" that way they'll buy exactly what you want instead of guessing.
for Christmas as an adult, I literally only ask for stuff that ill use. And stuff I low-key hate buying such as shampoo bars, soap bars, laundry detergent, groceries etc etc. My parents love that I only ask for practical stuff that I'll actually USE. Last year I got a whole tote of groceries and I loved it. I only ask my brother for stuff I want, but I still make sure that it's a want that I'll actually use.
Ok, this sounds ridiculous but....when I am having a bad day, I go to the library. I get the same dopamine release while searching the aisles for books as I would from shopping. And I have spent no money. And then I have a whole stack of books that make my bad day better.
Not ridiculous... a great idea!
That is a great idea! And makes total sense! Thanks!
Impressive to be able to go out on a bad day, tgese are crazy easy bad days
Oh my god I should do that
That's a great idea! I look at art on Deviantart and save pictures that give me inspiration.
any time i want something i think to myself, "is this just a future Goodwill donation?" and if it is, I don't buy it. It's helped a lot.
Wow, that is such a great way of looking at purchases. Such a fair and critical approach. I'm going to have to start using that Hannah, that's brilliant!
Well paired with all the slefish people buying goodwill items when they don't need it, it explains why we cannot have anything usefull anymore
Wow I must use that! I donate sooop much
This resonated so hard with me. Thank you for reaching me this new skill
This message needs to be delivered to children in schools. Imagine the impact it would have!
We are trying to raise our toddler with this mindset. We do lots of sustainable things already in our home but unfortunately we are not able to control what goes on outside of our home. It’s more difficult to control our family members wanting to buy her things.
I discuss this in my classes if that gives you some hope 🙃 I teach Spanish so it’s hard to do since I have to use Spanish all the time but in my higher levels I try to take advantage of the opportunities when these things come up.
@@AbbyS228 just a suggestion.....what about setting up a trust fund/ some type of account. People can deposit what they want in lieu of gift they were going to buy. You can make it clear any amount small or large is appreciated. You could maybe give the account number so they don't have over cash if they find it embarrassing. You could tell me the purpose of it...e.g. future education, so they can feel the contribution effect.....
@@AbbyS228 I meant "tell them" obviously typo error.
Writing tips down to use with my scouts.
Another habit to break: browsing during a sale. I'm all for utilizing sales, but have a wishlist ready before any sale with items you've been eyeing for some time, only shop your wishlist and don't add anything else to your cart. If there's nothing on your wishlist just skip the sale.
why isn't this top comment!! too true
If it's not on my list, I'm not allowed to get it. It's made such a difference
This!!! I have a list of things I want and I go back to it occasionally and cross things off that I ended up not wanting long-term
Brand emails are beyond annoying. It can't just be a monthly thing, it's multiple emails daily. It's like they want to annoy you and unsubscribe 😂.
when something is advertised to me constantly, it has the opposite effect - I get annoyed and get turned off buying it....sometimes it turns me off all that brands products!
As of last year, my 3 brothers and I agreed to no longer give each other gifts for Christmas or our birthdays. It is none of our love languages and my brothers are terrible gift givers. Now that all 4 of us are adults, we have our own money to purchase things we want/need. Gift giving is no longer needed, we'd all prefer just to have dinner and cake together instead. It was an awkward conversation at first, but it turned out we've each had that conversation seperately. We also collaborate to get larger, more meaningful gifts for our parents! Yay less stuff!
We did something similar with my extended family, we get each other useful things instead of christmas decorations etc. Be it soaps, body care products, socks etc. When I was younger I didn't like it but now I can really appreciate it. Also people need to normalise asking the other person what present would they need. I was a big fan of surprises but unfortunately they rarely prove to be needed items. We also gift experiences (like a massage session for my very stressed cousin) and DI Y a lot :)
i love that! it’s very mature of you. i need to have this conversation with my family lol
I used to do this with my mum. When she passed away, all those times we went and had coffee and cake together or a dinner and had deep and meaningful or fun chats became memories, so much better than giving gifts that get forgotten....
That's so great you're all on the same page! Imagine how much more money, and more importantly TIME it really gives you all back. So great to hear!
I love this. Having dinner is a great replacement for presents. If someone is a gift-giver then letting everyone make one thing would still count as a gift. Also dinner can could as experience, physical touch (hugs) and other love languages.
I had to discipline myself with “retail therapy is not self care” 😭 oh...it was hard.
I do appreciate Gmail for sorting 95% of the brand emails into promotions. If I have a purchase to make I'll go look for an email from them to see if theres a sale or something but otherwise they just mount up and I delete them 100 or so at a time.
I'm happy to say that I have not done any Christmas shopping/gift giving for 8 years. My family is small and we decided to instead do a family activity around Christmas time (bowling, skiing, etc.) and we also do a family vacation around mid-end January. Everyone just pays for themselves and we enjoy quality time. It completely eliminated the stress and pressure that comes with the holidays...and we still build great memories.
That’s such a cool idea! I’ve decided to ask my family if they would want to do the same ☺️
I’ve always wanted to go on a skiing trip for Christmas
My roommate is addicted to shopping...so I am definitely watching this video sitting next to her loudly as a PSA
I feel your pain....the amount of boxes that are now in the living room, it’s terrifying and my roommate won’t throw them out
I got a little sister like that 😅she will litterally buy new socks instead of washing them.....not joking 😭😭
Mine also shops too much. Doesnt help she works in retail😬
@@jacquelinetremblay4166 Where does she get the money? She needs to have her credit card taken away!
Hahaha 😂
I don't have an issue with online shopping like many people I know do, and I think one thing that has really helped me with that is I don't save my credit card details on my browser or make any company accounts that save those details. Often just the thought of having to get up from my couch to get my wallet is enough of a deterrent!
Same! I would tell myself, "Maybe later when I need to get up." Then I completely forget the thing I looked at online and realize I really didn't need it.
This is brilliant
Unfortunately, that does not work for me. 😂
I have mine memorized lol
Referring to the concern of buying a tool with a specific purpose, many hardware stores offer renting tools for a certain amount of time so you can use that specific tool you need, but not have to buy it
Thank you so much Evee! I was scrolling through the comments (which I never do) just to see if anyone else points this out! SOOOO many tools can be rented from just about any hardware store and some local community places as well. Please look into proper tools before you try to MacGyver something that usually leads to injury and failure.
Renting some tools for a day costs more than the cost of the tool in my country
@@tomjones2157 The same one? There are some cheap tools that break instantly, so those are not something that can be rented out.
Since talking about this stuff with my partner, he’s taken to fixing things more. Today he fixed our coffee machine by replacing some very small specific part. Researching the issue when it first happened, it’s a known issue with this machine that the company just hasn’t improved. Most people will buy a new machine rather than complain I think. But my partner fixed it and he’s also fixed our washing machine, our lawn mower and a button on his xbox control. But the real benefit is he gets such a kick out of it and a sense of accomplishment! He’ll say every couple days “hey remember when I fixed ______?”
Yes! My dad is always fixing things in a house. Like the washing machine and everything, actually. In my country it is common to fix things by ourselves, I think we don’t buy the entire new thing. We just fix it and I also think that it is a great way for a man to have like.. his impact in the house, if he isnt like cleaning or cooking or something. When they can do it they feel happy afterwards, just like you said and it is so good. ❤️
Love that!
I would love to know how you make sure other people don’t buy you random stuff you don’t need
OMG. My parents won't stop, especially for my son. AND MY APARTMENT IS SMALL. I keep reminding them of that.
@@nancyplants757 This might make me look greedy to some, but I swear it’s not my intention. I keep an updated registry for my kids year round. So when Birthdays/holidays come up they don’t get stuff they don’t need and I send out a family group text when my kids change clothing/shoe/etc sizes. We live in a 2 bedroom apt and there’s 5 of us. Our kids are 2,1, and I’m due with #3 next month. There at that stage where everyone wants to spoil them and we just don’t have the space. Do what you have too even if you feel strange doing it. I know it’s helped us!
I've literally been arguing with my future MIL because literally the best thing for us would be just money for the wedding but she insists on wanting to buy us a bunch of stuff for Christmas. Kinda infuriating but also I feel a little bad being picky about gifts? So idk
You can always take initiative and responsibly get rid of unwanted presents. Save and regift, donate, sell, or return!
If you stop buying gifts people generally stop reciprocating.
This made made me realize, I’m not a hyper consumer
Whenever I buy something and the packaging is fairly clean/label free, I always save the packaging for wrapping presents! I have a stash of clean paper bags that I'm going to have my son decorate for our family members so they get some one-of-a-kind art too.
omg me too! :D
Me too! And I save all of the cardboard packages I receive in the mail to reuse them for future shipments/gifts
same!
My friends and I give each other group event vouchers for our birthdays, making memories together and sometimes even doing stuff that makes you leave your comfort zone is so much better than just buying/receiving stuff. The hubby and I just go out to a nice dinner for our anniversary/birthdays and for Christmas we get something that we really need in our home.
Edible/drinkable gifts are my favorite. Its not completely zero waste but at least its not gonna sit around catching dust or be tucked away somewhere in the back of a wardrobe.
Yes😊 I recently bought (don't worry, it was from a thrift shop) a cool cookie container thing that matches my room, and for Christmas I'll ask for chocolates to put in it so I don't have to by them myself😂
I asked for snacks :)
Candles and soap are my favourite disappearing gifts.
Really? I feel guilty eating food gifts so they stay /forever / at my place.
Not just the worst time during the holidays for waste, but also for many animals are bought as a gift that are given to shelters or dropped somewhere because they're not actually wanted😣
My family uses a spreadsheet to track gifts so everyone gets exactly what they need/want and there are no duplicates or unnecessary items.
I was babysitting for a wealthy family this last summer and on my second day they had a new fridge coming in because their last one wasn't working. They told me it wouldn't make ice anymore and you couldn't get the water from it. When they came to replace it the son was like all we had to do was press the button for it to make ice. He was 8 years old and no one listened to him but the people who were replacing it looked at it and was like "oh yeah it's off also it stopped making water because you needed to replace the filter". I could not believe that this family bought a whole new refrigerator because they didn't turn on the make ice button and replace a filter. A perfectly good refrigerator went to the landfill :(
Wow sad. No one wanted to listen to the kids. I wonder if they were trying to flex
@@TammyAyra I honestly think they just didn't want to deal with it. They also sent their kids to summer camp for most of the summer and I was only there to watch them for the 1 week before camp started. My point being I think for them it was easier to just throw it out than to try to figure out what was wrong with everything else they were doing. I don't agree with it but that's how some people are
Wow.
Hopefully someone will find it and make good use of it
Why didn't they at least donate it to someone??
Since a few years now my family and I just tell each other what we want for Christmas lol takes the surprise out of it but it's totally worth it to not get stuff you don't want or need
I love this video! I dread Christmastime, two years ago I asked if my family would stop giving me material gifts and it caused a huge fight. I conceded pretty quickly, now I’m just hoping that by giving more sustainable gifts it’ll rub off on my family.
I love what you are doing. I started my environmentalist journey in the 60's when I was in high school, in California, and am still on the road, doing everything I can to protect our earth. I am 71 now and still teaching Theology at an all girls high school. It is the perfect environment to help young women discover what they can do to protect the earth and becoming self-reliant through Project Based Learning. I have signed up for your newsletter and will be sharing your videos with my classes.
Shelbizleee....... This is the BEST VIDEO OF YOURS!!!!! Effing brilliant.
I'm a Financial Planner in Canada, but we have the same comsumer habits you have in the States. Also, I've been becoming more conscious of how my actions impact the environment. From both of these sides of me, this video is PERFECTION.
The dopamine response when you buy something? Super real! Then when you followed that up by increasing your base line happiness instead of riding the ups and downs? Epic.
Keep up the amazing work!!!!
I took a screenshot of 11:55 and saved it on my phone. I needed that question list every time I contemplate on making a purchase. THANK YOU. ♡
My boyfriend and I just don't buy each other gifts. And NO, it doesn't affect our relationship whatsoever! We're not sad, we're not missing out of anything, and we're not cheap. His family never gave him gifts except for 50eur for big occasions like graduation and we don't plan on giving our children any gifts either. All our children's toys will be donated and we will let them know that Santa didn't give it to them but kind people did. I like to hand-make my boyfriend a card for his birthday and our anniversary just because I like making crafts and expressing myself in letters. And I don't mind that he doesn't give me anything (he says he's incapable), he takes me on the most amazing vacations and I appreciate them much more than I would a dress or a watch
My husband and I don't either, and we've been together over 15 years. We buy things we want/need at the appropriate time, and call it our gift lol. And we don't exchange greeting cards either, what a waste of money and resources.
I feel bad for your kids . Reminds me of jehovah witness nightmares where the kids can't even celebrate birthdays or Christmas, and therefore no toys. I'm not saying they need an endless amount of toys, but that is missing out on childhood. And telling kids Santa brought it never hurt anyone. We all are okay.
Same. It's more meaningful to spend time together.
@@Samew0001 you do you, but kids are fine not being consumers. Kids don't need a lot to be happy.
Yep. Growing up in Nigeria, my parents didn't give us gifts either. If we wanted to give my parents something we'll make cards and give it to them. We mostly just went to the beach (doesn't snow in Nigeria), had fun with friends and that was it.
The biggest things that stops me from buying stuff while living in apartment is where will I store it. I love my space and being able to breathe without clutter everywhere.
I've had tons of success with getting and giving away things on my local buy nothing Facebook group. If I need something that I will only use once or twice (like a sewing machine, for example) I can borrow it on buy nothing, and if I have something that I think someone else would benefit from (like an old vacuum) I know I can find a good home for it.
Joining a Buy Nothing group was a huge game changer for me. I was super bummed when I moved to an area without one but I'm working on getting my own off the ground because I think they are such a valuable community resource
@@supernova622 that's awesome! I agree, they are really powerful community resources.
I wanted to like buy nothing groups but unfortunately I’ve had nothing but bad experiences the three times I’ve tried to join them. Either there was a few members and literally no one participated at all or I joined one and the people where so incredibly rude. Saying they wanted a item and then never coming to get it or worse saying they where in their way so you put it out front and then hours later saying they can’t make it and then the item has been sitting outside in the rain or heat (I live in Florida where it rains almost every day). I finally just gave up and left the group because there was multiple situations where the people where just very rude and inconsiderate of my time and energy. 😔
@@AbbyS228 That's incredibly frustrating! I've been selling on facebook marketplace and it's incredibly frustrating how many people reach out, say they want to pick something out and then go dark. I could see it being even more frustrating when it's in a community of people that are all supposed to be in it together.
@@AbbyS228 I've had good experiences and bad experiences in two different buy nothing groups. Sorry you've had nothing but bad ones.
I believe it was Adam Ruins Everything who did a segment on gift giving and the many downfalls of it. Basically. Most people give terrible gifts. 😂 Even if its not on purpose. I’ve been given plenty of items and that I’m like “greeeeeat, what am I gonna do with this now???? Eh I’ll just donate it.” Or it gets shoved away in storage somewhere. I wish it was more acceptable to just tell people that you dont want any gifts or you dont want to partake in gift giving. I know its a pretty common and important love language for many but “its the thought that counts” isn’t enough when you’re constantly given stuff you dont like/want/need and now its your responsibility to deal with it. :/ I wish people weren’t so obsessed with gift giving especially during the holidays. We’d all save so much time, money, and stress. Lol
I love Adam Ruins Everything! Adam's podcast 'factually' is an extension of the part of the show where he talks to experts-its one of my favourite podcasts of all time and I have learned SO MUCH from listening to it!
Adam can't ruin anything because he just manipulates facts. Many people have made videos on debunking the him, and how that show cherry picks its info. Even Joe Rogan folded his ass with basic counter arguments and questions. Although I'm sure not all of his episodes are liberal propaganda trash.
Adam Ruins Everything! I loved that show so much for so long, and then we switched to Nexflix and Hulu instead of live TV, and Netflix only had season 1 of his show. So I watched those episodes over and over😂 But then Netflix took that season off too!!!😭
Well, I know it sucks, but until it's changed heres some things we can do.
🌍 Ask for very specific gifts. For example instead of writing, "perfume" write "winter berry lust Bath and Body perfume"
🌍 Regift the gifts you don't like! This could be regifting them to friends and family, or it could be donating them to the thrift shop
🌍 Sell the gifts you don't like!
Gift giving stresses me out for this reason!
You’re great! Thanks for fighting for the good 😌
I think it would be INCREDIBLY helpful if you did a video on how to buy a second hand or refurbished cellphone. Since it's way better for the environment but there are concerns of getting ripped off, not having a warranty if it breaks, pros and cons etc. Have a great day!
I got my phone from Fonum, it's a company that buys used phones, fixes them, removes the data, returns original settings, and resells the phones. They offer a year-long warrantly and a repair service. Good customer service. There are other companies that offer similar service too. Another plus was it came in minimal cardboard packaging, without plastic.
I wouldn't buy from individuals, as there's always a risk it's stolen, there's data still in there, or it's in some way broken.
She covered this in her Christmas gift video where she talks about gifting tech.
"My emergency fund removed my scarcity mindset."
Fellow UK beans - peace with the wild (it's like earth hero) have some absolutely wonderful gift sets, all sustainable brands and low/zero waste packaging etc and there's a wide range! If you still really want to get some things over holiday season x
I'm in Edinburgh and love their shop :) bought my refillable make up powder from Zao there
Thank you for this!! I keep checking earth hero hoping that they've magically started shipping to the UK 😂
There is also 'Wearth' and '&Keep' but PWTW is my fave ❤️
This year I had a talk with my mom about only wanting one specific thing, and not wanting to have a “big” Christmas and she took it really well. It’s harder with extended family though, especially because they don’t know me at all, so they definitely get me things I don’t need.
I love your channel and your videos Shelby. I like how much you focus on reducing consumption, because I run across SOOO many people who claim to be environmentalists and yet still go shopping all the time, buy lots of items they don't need, get brand new cars every few years, etc. and it drives me nuts!
I never put my payment info onto the “save feature” for all online shopping so that you don’t need to type in the card info every time. And leave my cards in my wallet in my purse in the front closet - if I’m too lazy to get up get the card and sit back down and type in all the info - I don’t buy it! It also helps me have a moment to get out of that oh that’s cute I want it - mind set - and even if I have went to get me card sometimes I realize I don’t actually need that specific item and usually won’t buy anything or I end up finding a similar item second hand or one I already have
Sustainable gifting from a Mom: 1. Within the household we wrap in fabric which looks lovely and can be reused year after year.
2. For friends and relatives I default to gift bags- mine are often reused from presents I received and I often get used bags from friends and family too. (My step mother and I have been handing the same bags back and forth for almost 10 years.)
3. Be ready for the non-reusable wrappings. We have a city limit on how many garbage bags can be put out. Despite having a household of twice the average we have never had to request an allowance of more garbage.
On the morning I have ready a bag for compostable, recyclables and the actual garbage. As the kids gifts are opened, each package is broken down into component parts. Boxes can be reused and so are stored. Cardboard is recyclable. Plastic is recyclable. Our local compost program allows paper wrapping paper (plastic tape removed.)
Being sustainable around the festive season is something I've really been trying to figure out recently. This was very helpful!
Excellent video. I'm a bit of a beginner with getting really conscious about minimalism and sustainability, and I was happy to find your channel. Excellent production quality and I like your style of straight talk without shaming. Thanks!
Some years ago, a method i kinda made for myself to stop spending was “waiting until i deserved/needed it”. So i would think “do i deserve this starbucks, or should i wait until friday, and then i know i worked for it.” Or “do i need a haircut? Or can it wait 3 more weeks until next month?” Or “do i need to go shopping for this item? Or can it wait until the next time i go shopping with my mom in a month?” And by doing this waiting game, i ended up buying less things, and also less often. And that’s what worked for me in the wee-beginnings of my anti-consumerism. :)
I grew up dirt poor so I was always of the mindset that shopping is something *other* people get to do and that things in shops are not there for *me* to purchase. This unintentional anti-consumerism mentality eventually morphed into a very healthy love of window shopping with friends, where I am perfectly able to go look at all the cool things I *can* buy and can *afford* to buy, but still just doesn't really occur to me that these things are things I actually *need* . Growing up poor meant money was only for the things you *need* and that mindset has stuck with me all my life.
Having a wait period before buying things has made a huge difference for me, as well as asking 'do I need this?' And 'where will it go?' (This is especially important for decor items as there's so much gorgeous handmade stuff out there, but there's a limited amount of space in my flat so deciding where to put something before buying it changes your view drastically). And when it comes to storage items I no longer buy it just in case, but only when I know exactly what needs storing (once I've decluttered and organised) as otherwise you just end up buying stuff to put more stuff in. I do find it especially difficult buying gifts as I want to be thoughtful, so I usually aim for needs, with a touch of beauty, or food gifts (though my family no longer want food gifts and already have everything which makes them super hard to gift to). I genuinely love giving gifts which sometimes makes it difficult to not buy something just for the sake of it, though I'm getting better at this.
You're actually helping me a looot! I'm paying attention more about things that were.. normal to buy, have or do.
Thanks for inspiring me and so many people in this community you've created 🥰
Great video! I am not a huge shopper but there are still habits I can adopt here for sure. Especially the emails from brands. Ugh! They are the worst & totally clutter up your email inbox. I really appreciated the section on scarcity mentality too - thinking we don't have enough and therefore we must buy it all! A good reminder to keep that scarcity saboteur in check! Thank you for sharing this and all the information about trash too. The world needs this right now! 🌎 🙏🏼💞
I used to be a really bad emotional shopper. It was a hard habit to break!
Unsubscribing from brand emails CHANGED my life. I am so susceptible to marketing and since I no longer see the sales, I'm not tempted to shop them.
My mom still feels that she needs to buy my sister and I many many gifts even though we are both adults now. I think she feels like she needs to "fill the space fully" under the tree like she did when we were small and got lots of toys every year.
This year I requested we all try a 'utilitarian Christmas'. Each of us is making an extensive list of things we NEED/regularly use/have dreamed of owning: that way mom can feel like she is still getting us ENOUGH, but not as much stuff is wasted or regifted.
So far, it has made my own shopping SO much easier.
I first found your channel last year when I was spending time removing the lights from a prelit tree. I couldn’t bear to throw out a perfectly good tree because of the lights. It was a chore but worth it to save money and a lot of trash. I’ve now removed the lights on several trees-no more prelit trees for me what a waste.
Yes! Exactly this. I spend so much time thinking about gifts for others that will fulfill their lives. The gift and toy waste for my kids kills me, so I try and suggest "experiences" or some sustainable options that I know they'll us OR kids will always grow into clothes. I know people probably find that annoying or controlling but IDC. Trying to make an emergency fund, and putting that out of sight out of mind is key! Thanks Shelbi
I was decluttering my closet and I got rid of this black work trousers because the seams were ripping. I was so tempted to buy another one to replace it but I held back. I’m working from home anyway so why not just put it off till when I really need a new one for work.
I love your way of thinking. These are great tips for people to follow.
I completely agree on these points! I let stuff sit in my chart for a good while before I purchase and its really helped with my conscious buying! I also have been putting secondhand items on my gift lists so that way I'm not using new resources when there are things I'd like to have
I started having a mental individual budget for different items, basically what I'm willing to spend on clothes, decor, etc. and that stops me a lot from buying things new that I could get second hand, or buying things at all, so that's really helped me
I survived the collage with one pot( I cooked everything in it). The second year I got a pan too. So I survived all 5 years with these 2 plus I had 1 items for every kitchen utensils that time, so I think everyone can survive with less stuff.
Thanks for showing a screen of the questions to ask yourself before purchasing (took a screenshot) and informing people of the importance of an emergency fund! I felt a lot more secure once I set aside that money and didn't touch it, I actually keep adding to it.
I've been agonising over what to get my family. In the end it's a mix of things that are recyclable and vouchers for food or experiences I know they like. I have asked them to get me nothing.
I’m so glad I started watching your channel. Recently whenever it’s someone’s birthday, etc I’ve been a lot more conscious about getting something less wasteful. So this year for my sister’s birthday, I got her some clothes from the thrift store that were good quality and I know are of the style she likes. And then last year for Christmas, I got my friend some chocolates in a compostable wrapper and a beeswax candle. Small steps, but I’m glad to be getting there
A couple years ago our dryer (which we bought from the lady we bought the house from 13 years ago) stopped running. Turns out the sensor on the door was broken. My husband purchased a new sensor on Amazon for $12 and voila, it worked just fine again!
My sister in law insists on getting us GAG GIFTS every year that we do not like or want. They end up being sent to goodwill immediately 🙄. She also asks us what to get for our daughter but never uses our suggestions, so we end up with cheap junky toys that never get used and get donated in a month. It makes me crazy but I don’t know how to politely avoid it! If we told her not to give gifts she would anyway 😫
maybe ask her to donate money instead of giving gifts
Tell her you want a gift receipt with whatever she gets you so you can return it
It is so annoying when people literally ignore your requests not to buy useless crap. I would try requesting candy and cookies, wine, fruit baskets, etc. At least then you could enjoy eating the gift, or even regifting something that is a consumable gift, vs a trash gag gift, or a junk toy. For the child I would try to see if she would give items that are useful for school. Pens, markers, paper tablets, paints, etc. good luck
this year is the first holiday season where i'm trying to keep all my gifts as sustainable as possible and i'm so excited for it ☺️ watching your videos this year has definitely contributed to me finally being nicer to our planet now, so thank you for that
And I'm sure the recipients of the gifts will feel better too. Everyone wins! That's such a great idea! :)
Literally the best UA-cam channel ever to exist
It took a few years for gift giving to die off after I first discussed it with my family. My fiancé can't bring himself to stop it though, and I can't bear to be opening gifts from him when he has nothing from me. As a compromise I buy him good quality versions of things he needs, like a diary (which he uses daily), slippers, soap/toiletries and chocolate. I have more than everything I need so I also drop hints as to what I want - it's usually books, although this year it's a new waste bin for my kitchen lol.
Don't need a ton of new Christmas decor this year, but I'm selling old stuff and getting a few things from an Etsy seller and FB marketplace! I love getting rid of something everytime i bring in something new.
So happy for the consistent vids!
love that gauzy top, shelbi! also, love love the intentional shopping reminder. i keep trying to do a no-buy/ low-buy, but it's been hard since there are deals everywhere right now and my new roommates are hyper-consumers. thank you for the reminder that every object has a cost, even if it's invisible!
Shelby mentioned the getting rid of the scarcity mindset and it really works. I did this before this video but never had the words for it. So basically, try putting your paycheck (minus bills) into your savings account for around 3 months. Once you see how much you have, you'll be motivated to keep saving and spend way less.
I’m so excited for this video ✨ saving our pockets and our world thanks girl!! Also I love all the plants you have 😍 goaallsss
My family, friends and I don't celebrate Christmas, but we do give gifts anytime in the year for no special occasion. I got my mom, sisters, and friends, personal alarms! I was just thinking of getting myself one and decided to get more to give them away just because I thought they would need it. I feel like that's a very good gift idea because it can save their lives! They all loved them! 😁
In regards to newsletters and brand emails, I managed to learn not to make a purchase every single time I receive one.
Nowadays I make a list of things I actually need to buy, and then spend some days rethinking it. Then, when an email comes in that a specific company has a sale, I just buy what I truly need and not even look at other items.
It takes a lot of self discipline, but this way I actually save some money as well.
The past few years my family has given up on trying to guess what each other wants so now we do a secret Santa (so you dont have to buy things for every person) and then we leave a list of possible things that we actually want. Its SOOOO much easier, more cost effective, and of course leads to less waste from unwanted gifts haha. This year I’m also going to switch to newspaper for wrapping gifts. ( i work at a store that puts out daily newspaper and every morning we throw out all the newspaper that didnt sell so super wasteful)
Just want to say, if you're using newspaper, my dad always wrapped big gifts in the colored Sunday comics pages. They were fun to open and run to read! Highly recommend going for comics if you've got the flexibility to do so.
@@KiKiStarling awesome idea! I’ll definitely keep that in mind when I’m picking pages to use 😆
My family does this too! It’s also great for saving money & avoiding the stress of thinking of getting something for everyone.
YES!! So helpful!! These questions are so important and I ask myself too!
Thank you for talking retail therapy and how traditional and digital marketing gets ya to buy stuff through pop ups and Card saving technology. Its really important to teach the younger generation about how that works as incentives to get you to buy. I wish I had seen your videos when I was in my 20's and went shopping with my friends as something to do when bored. Unfortunately you weren't youtubing your content about this then.. but I'm glad you are helping others now.
Great tips! Thank you
Great video once again Shelbi!😍😍
These are such great tips. I definitely am working on being more mindful with my purchases. I love the way you speak and get right to the point quickly.🥰🥰🥰
Yes, shopping is still good (I love shopping myself) but just being more mindful about what I am bringing into my home is the goal
Yess! I am so blessed that my partner is an engineer. Our roomba broke and I was so bummed not only because of the price but the waste. He completely rebuilt it for me and it was under $20.
The little whisk on our Roomba stopped working. It was very tight to turn manually. We loosened it with a screwdriver and so far it seems to have worked
Baby steps, I’m only buying things people want/need and try to buy them from smaller companies or buying used and making a list of things I really want/need.
So true. Thank you Shelbi. These truly are coming at a perfect time.
Amazing video as always, I took notes!!! Shelby THANK YOU for everything you do for the planet. You have inspired me, you have re-ignited my passion for sustainability, you inspired me to start a channel about minimalism, and to be more conscious with every single little thing I buy. I went to the beach after a storm yesterday, and millions of bits of plastic had washed up, Gatorade bottles, beer cans, even needles. I live in the Pacific Northwest, somewhere I generally think of as clean, but there's no ignoring it anymore. With the plastic that I saw and this summer's fires, I'm fed up, I'm heartbroken. We must change. We must do better. Bravo for leading this charge. I willingly join the fight
I love your dining room!
the emotional buying is so true, i struggle with it a lot, sometimes when i go out to do something and it's stressful i go and buy something afterwards to cheer myself up and "reward myself" even if the stressful thing already involved buying things (the other day i had to shop for some things i needed and i needed to work with a tight budget and not buy anything except what i needed and then after i did it i still had some money so i bought a keychain as a reward even though i already have more keychains on my keys than i have actual keys)
I'm not a hyperconsumer and never had a shopping problem, but even so, with my depression I feel the urge to shop quite often (online). What I do though, is go to those websites and search for what I would like to potentially buy, imagine I'm buying it, put it in the cart, open more websites with that product and compare prices, play around with carts on different sites, put in and take out stuff from my cart, bookmark a product I liked etc. And I found this to be really helping, because I am quite fulfilling that dopamine release I need by looking at stuff to buy without actually buying them for most of the time. And by repeating this every time I have this need, it means I end up following the price trends, reading and comparing more, generally researching quite well into a product before buying it. And even sometimes I find that I don't want that product anymore or I want something different.
hey shelbi!! i have a question. when my family goes to the grocery store and forget the reusable bags, they will get the paper bags. i have asked my family to wrap my presents in those paper bags( because we save them). is this sustainable??? and i love your vids!!!! ❤️
I think reusing is always a sustainable options! Yes!
@@Shelbizleee ok thank you!!!
Skillshare is such an underrated tool to use!!!
Also, Shelbi, what a beautiful set behind you, I want to be better with plants now and try to grow home plants, especially in my kids’ room🙌🏼🌿
Another great video! Thank you so much for inspiring me to be a little more conscious about the impact of my actions.
Growing up the focus was on quantity of gifts but this year I realized that it makes more sense to get each person one gift that's more expensive than I would usually buy rather than a bunch of random little cheap things. I'm also focusing on buying from individual artists and small businesses.
I mean... I'm sorry to go off-topic, but I love your couch (the big one with the chaise and ottoman)! Seems like such a versatile piece, and look so nice!
I've had the exact same evolution as you. I used to check fast fashion eshops and make lists of the things I wanted to buy, I was even asking the store if xyz product had arrived, when they where expecting it to be on the shelves etc. Then I would spend my pocket money on that. 10 years later and I can proudly call my self an eco-minimalist: I follow every tip you said and I am in a much better state of mind. I still like browsing ethical & eco brands, but I recently unfollowed a ton of them- they were either too expensive or at the other side of the world. I also unsubscribed from almost all my email lists, where I would occasionally find myself wondering if I needed xyz product that was on sale or whatever. I now add things to my basket and wait until I'm 100% I need them AND be able to financially afford them. The moment I get paid I save some money in my piggy bank, because I wouldn't be able to afford vacation or pay an emergency cost otherwise. Thank you for sharing all these tips, they are very helpful and I wish I had watched a video like that when I was 15. Much love from Greece
I’ve really been trying to do better like this! There’s a few things that I have really been wanting and I’m like no I don’t need it, I know a few months will go by and I probably will not want it or need it! I’ve been doing this with my mom to, she’ll ask if something is cute and if she’ll get it and even if it is cute I say no you don’t need it and she hasn’t been getting it! I feel good about that. I also just started composting in the freezer before I can bring it to my aunts! I’m so happy and excited for all this stuff!
This year I am giving 3 family members and friends Booda Butter moisurizer from Booda Organics. Comes in a metal tin, all natural, vegan, hypo allergenic. They will be put into a cloth wrap with a homemade cross stitch ornament for their tree. that's it. When I'm feeling down, I tend to go to the library and "shop" their used book section and free magazine they are throwing away. I get something I want and it's not new so no resources were used and like this time I went, I got 6 Mary Jane's Farm magazines with TONS of recipes and tips that I plan on keeping. (PS - the little X in the upper righthand corner is almost always there)
Great info! Thanks for sharing ☺️
Gift giving is my love language so this is such a tough one for me!
A few years ago I said ENOUGH to all the stupid toys and knick knacks we were buying all the nieces and nephews. Who knows if they even played with them, they got so much junk on Christmas and couldn't tell you what came from who.
I stopped buying gifts for them a few years ago and now once a year I'll take the kids out to do something special. We'll create some kind of memory together and see an ice skating show or go to see monster trucks.
A big way i cut down on spending was the "where will this live when it's home?". I used to live in a small apartment and shopping for home decor gave me so much joy, until I got the items home and was struck with anxiety about where these things would go. I ended up having a spare room full of bags of merchandise that I didn't know what to do with. The source of joy became a source of anxiety. I told myself I couldn't purchase any more home decor until we moved into a house, which we did two years ago. Even now when I'm shopping for home decor for our house I get purchase anxiety! because I've switched my mindset to buying things that will last a long time, the decision to purchase something is much more serious because I'm "stuck"with it. It has swung the other way where now even if I want something and have been thinking about it for a while, I get too much anxiety to purchase it because it's such a commitment!
Such good advice. Thank you for being you and helping to inspire other people to do something different. I am grateful for you sharing and taking the time to make the videos you make.
My 10 year old just told me you are her HERO. 💓🤘🏼
I'm addicted to secondhand clothes shopping. 😄 Instagram thrift stores have boomed in my country. At last I can have a full wardrobe that I can afford. But I need to learn to find another way to make me happy.
I already always think very thoroughly on the gifts I give and that people will like and use. But I never saw it from the perspective of sustainability, that the habit I already have is more sustainable. It's nice to feel a little validated!
The scarcity mindset also helped me. There’s some sort of connection to amounts of money and how you save it. There is Wanting to spend a little money when there’s only a little money coming in and then there’s a shift in your mind to “saving mode” when you start to see more money than before and wanting to save it.
Does anyone have any advice on how to convince their family to buy less gifts/be more minimal with gifts for the holidays? I’ve tried making wishlists that focus more on experiences rather than objects or just explicitly asking for less stuff I don’t need but a lot of my family express their love through buying stuff. So they often just ignore my requests..lol
Maybe you could do some holiday shopping with them at thrift/vintage stores. This might show them a fun way to buy things in a more sustainable way? Or maybe trying to get plants as gifts? I know this is tough because I have family members that buy me a lot of things that they like, but aren’t really useful to me, like electronic gadgets and hair accessories. This will be especially tough when I move out of my parents house and people try to tell me I “need” certain things.
Maybe tell them you want things that you use up. Fancy food basket, nice beverages, body lotion... they can still buy things, you can enjoy them and when you use them up you don't have stuff everywhere. It's a win win and I personally use this as a gift giver and a gift receiver.
Maybe ask for very specific things? Like for example instead of "A candle" write "Sweather Weather candle by Bath and Body works" that way they'll buy exactly what you want instead of guessing.
@@kileyslife7541 Thats what I’m trying this year! Hopefully it goes better!
I have tried for years it doesn’t happen over night and I got called ungrateful alot
Really good video, thank you :) you're the kind of person i enjoy listening to !
for Christmas as an adult, I literally only ask for stuff that ill use. And stuff I low-key hate buying such as shampoo bars, soap bars, laundry detergent, groceries etc etc. My parents love that I only ask for practical stuff that I'll actually USE. Last year I got a whole tote of groceries and I loved it. I only ask my brother for stuff I want, but I still make sure that it's a want that I'll actually use.