"The foundation of your safety has not been destroyed." Well put. Explains perfectly why parental abuse and neglect can be so painful and traumatic: The foundation for your safety, which is supposed to be your parents, are the very ones responsible for your safety. If your first foundation is destroyed or questionable, it's truly a miracle to be a productive person later in life. I guess that I am a miracle then: Only college graduate and the only one with a professional job.
Same, I succeeded in spite of them. But only because I am stubborn and refused to let them destroy my me and life. I left home at 14 and slept on the streets. I eventually found my way in life without them. Im 45 now and my mother is still trying to destroy me with her words. She failed. But I couldn’t see it until I got so sick from her abuse as an adult that I had a stroke and I now need surgery for other issues caused by stress and CPTSD. But still I prevail. I will always win! She has no power over me anymore! She is nothing!
The hardship create resilience and is a statement of the inner strength we all have. I am same, feel my mother’s upbringing broke me and didn’t let me develop to my full potential, but that has not stopped me in getting where I am in life now. I work lot harder but I’m good 🙂
Yes it is. Been there and my life went downhill. I am about to be 25 years old and have been happy since 2021 to be on my own and with some lovely people whom I wish I had met earlier. The lesson is just this: Parents are meant to be a solid rock a solid foundation not their children. Some parents can't do that and will never do it, never learn it never realise it but play the blaming game. I wish you a good life ahead❤
My straight As were a trauma response trying to get their approval.. everything I did was never good enough even though it was expected of me to win and be their perfect little performance machines, I went no contact in 2020 🎉 49 years old here. It’s a silent epidemic.. sick mothers and absent fathers. Stop breeding! Look at the work today omg!!!
Traumatized parents are so out of touch with their emotions, they won't detect signs of events that shook the child to be there for them, eventually repeating the cycle. Surviving the survivors is a real thing.
Yes, this is true. I was traumatized as a child and therefore I was not there for my children when they were growing up and I ended up repeating the cycle in causing trauma. It breaks my heart. I am just starting my journey to finding healing from all the trauma that I suffered through childhood and an abusive marriage. 🙏🏻
Not traumatized parents: entitled parents do that. As a traumatic childhood survivor i have never treated my child like those monsters treated me. And she's much more peaceful and successful than I am because she's always had someone in her corner. So the cycle ends with me.
@@janny474 yes exactly. I am too moving towards breaking that cycle by being a good mother in future. From all my experience I know how to be, love and care a child. Its like yes my parents had trauma but that doesn't mean you talk shit about your child and come home treat them like a cold wall. Keeping hope that their children has to show them good path, be their stronghold, look after them, help them in overcoming the pain they have dealt with cause they cannot accept the mistakes they did. Parents had to be a stronghold no matter what. There are many parents who have went through shit but still doesn't treat their children this way. And here is another world of mine and so many like me. If one child grow in such environment, it just puts lot of strain on them. I am that example. Growing up there, I have felt sad, felt guilty, felt every feelings except happiness. There is a big resentment in my heart. I just don't hate them but I don't feel anything for them. But you know I am moving towards a good life and I know I am gonna break it, this stupid shit. I wish every youngster like me will make a good life❤
When you've got so much trauma compartmentalized In your brain that pulling the wrong box out could crush you, you've already realized parental neglect was thw foundation of all that pain
I can relate! My hypothesis about this type of trauma is this: people who is supposed to love you (parents, siblings, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend) but are abusers, will seek a trauma response in you as a way to shape up your personality according with their standard of appropriate. They don't know they are doing it to you, probably, but yes they are doing it. A little trauma here, and a not so little trauma there, and a big trauma once in a while will be necessary to keep you in check in the long run. You learn to deal, or you go away, or you'll suffer. It's a lot like taming a wild animal.
@@artifundio1 but they don’t call it “taming” a wild animal…the term is to “break” it. You break a horse. You “break in” a new item by using it and being rough with it to make it easier to use.
This is so true that the support you got after the traumatic event really matters. I have two friends, both childhood victims of sexual abuse. One could never tell her mother or father and had to hide it for years and now she has CPTSD. The other one told her mother and father, who protected her fearlessly. She is fine with it. She can talk about it. She does work for organizations that help children of sex abuse.
I can remember the moment where I had no control. Couldn’t look away, couldn’t make any face, couldn’t fidget, every single physical response my body had to trauma was identified and stripped from me. There was a point where i could do absolutely nothing without receiving criticism while being berated. I can feel myself at the moment when I fragmented and the dissociation began. Freeze response is so challenging because it feels like you’re in a burning building and even though the flames are starting to touch you, you can’t react. People always tell me how laid back and calm I am but they don’t understand how much we mask. I may seem stoic on the outside while my mind is screaming and racing with panic and worry or I’m completely checked out. There are so many times I go shopping and all the sudden I’m at the other end of the building as if my brain shut down while I walked around
Foundation of my safety has been destroyed. And a lot of trauma happened since childhood throughout my life, I was almost drowned when I was little, and got scolded at, and she was being cold towards me, I could never forget that. A lot of sa visuals showed on tv when I was like 5-6, no one cared. I just feel this weight in me, I wanna drop it, but when I thought i did, it came back.
This man is a genius. I have read his book. I think he’s a visionary. I have trauma trapped in my body and until I read this book, I didn’t quite compute the full meaning of that.
I was in a mental hospital where they tied me up for nine days without any reason and without allowing me to go to the bathroom and it traumatized me. My parents were there when they let me out but I was and I felt completely alone when they did that to me. I’m still dealing with the consequences that come after the trauma.
As a child i cleaned up the blood, then told her where the bruises were (mum was blind) I hated me for not being able to stop it. I hated me for not being 'good enough' to make family life peaceful. It was my fault then and it is still my fault.
This is intriguing because I’ve run across people who sound like they’d blow off the fact their kid was traumatized because their perception is showing concern for someone’s trauma is actually crippling them to become needy. Very very intriguing. I guess those who lack empathy are extremely traumatized individuals who count their strength as camouflage to actually being wounded
I think the crucial point here is “childhood trauma”. If they didn’t feel safe and protected as a child, their development into adulthood is compromised. They develop defence mechanism to keep themselves feeling safe which continues into their adult relationships
We have this book and utilize its deep wisdom in our trauma work. Me as an Animist Minister trainee and my husband as a mental health councilor. Thank you good Sir!
...and when it turns out nobody's really there for you, not even your family, you might sink so low into your trauma that you find in there your Self; the Self that was lost long time ago. And then, Thank God, you have someone to overcome that trauma with.
Whenever something happened to me as a child my parents told me..."serves you right"..."that's what you get"... Or they just showed disdain and disappointment in me. I NEVER felt safe with my parents (or any other person in my life either). It makes so much sense now why I've struggled with addictions, anxiety, and not trusting anyone.
I come from a very unstable life, Abortion Survivor, life on the street, and lots of prison ! In 2018, i was alone and was mauled and left disable, this 6 years ago, and I cant get my life to work, no one was there for me, and still, I am alone and really struggling !
@aggresivehippy - I’m so sorry to read this. So much trauma with no foundation of safety will surely lead to the self sabotage of your life in order to protect yourself, leading to a perpetual cycle. I hope you are, or at least can get to a place where you can seek some help with the right therapist. It sounds like you may not be in a financial position for this to happen. But in my experience when you get to a place psychologically where you really, truly want to get the help then the right situations will present themselves to you for that to be able to happen. But I believe one really has to want it. I’m not saying you have a victim mentality but we’re all victims in these cases, we’ve just got to stop wanting to be one. You will get there. I wish you every ounce of happiness and peace. ❤️🩹
Sorry you had a rotten start in life you didn't deserve that should haven't had to suffer & all that has happened to you very unfortunate but all not wasted I believe. It's never too late everyday is a new day keep putting 1 foot after the other. Be hopeful your life will get better. We have to forgive ourselves love ourselves. Take good care of yourself keep as fit & healthy as you can it makes you feel good about everything gives you more confidence & uoy can put all in perspective makes you appreciate all. Wishing you happier days & that you make better memories from now on 🍀
I so appreciate this explanation. Way too many people toss around the term trauma to refer to anything that upset them that it has lost real meaning when it has specific implications that attention seekers cannot begin to truly grasp.
Oh man then I've been broken for life. Cancer at age 8 till 18 then suffer with side effects till late 20s then widowmaker at 31 plus 3 stents then a heart transplant just 9 months ago
@@TheOriginalCameron that just means the life long trauma/PTSD is forever burnt into my brain, kinda what the brain does to protect itself; very much a double edged sword
Well it's relatively much better than "died of cancer" at 8. It's reading more like, "never give up". Make sure you're live for something great then it's all worth the problems
I’ve been traumatized ever since I was born and the trauma included what was being done to me so I’m not sure I agree with trauma not being the event. I believe it’s a combination of both action and response.
@ I don’t have a support system so when I get comments like these I harvest them. Thank you for reminding me that I am self aware because I tend to forget. I send peace your way✨
This is why sexual abuse is so traumatizing as a child because of the shame and embarrassment and thinking that it is your fault you don't tell anyone for 30 years. You grow up not having anyone to help you through it or deal with it because instead of telling someone you've suppressed it as if it never happened.
I spent my childhood hiding, running away. Had tmj a lot as a kid but blamed it on getting hit. Ive been thrown back there after getting my second bout of severe tmj in 2 years. Now im back to hiding and running away. Lol cray.
So you need other people...that is step maybe. If you can cope with the situation you will not be traumatised in the first place and/or will recover qiuckly. And it is not the response to the event...it is the perception of it.
My childhood comfort always came from the animals even though I had severe allergic reactions. I remember being in a bathtub of cool water submerged except my nose and mouth out trying to control the hives, sneezing, itching, difficulty breathing and my mom came in nonchalantly said “did you pet a cat?” I gasped “uh huh” she said “was it worth it?” I gasped again “uh huh” and she left. I didn’t know for many years how life threatening my allergic reactions had been. Still worth it and actually I’m glad because somehow my immune system finally adjusted and I live happily with my cats and no reactions to them!
So is trauma a violation of safety and if the foundation is gone, then so is the trust and the person no longer feels safe in the situation where it may apply, at least not until they can fully grasp and perceive that the threat is truly gone. Although deep trauma may forever have someone shook with reflexes. Maybe the forever shook person is the one who’s brain changes and is different or does everyone’s brain change in one way or another regardless of whether they achieve resiliency or not? Just thoughts.
Yes, trauma is something overwhelming that happens to you that you can't make sense of. But unlike this dude's explanation, it is still a trauma if you figure out how to make sense of it or someone helps you make sense of it. In that case, it's just not something that turns into PTSD. The trauma is not "how you respond to it," it IS THE EVENT. That's where this guy goes off the rails. Trauma is the thing that happened. End of story. How you respond is someting else all together. His narrative is bunk.
That is not an easy one. On one hand, what kind of person wouldn’t be outraged at child sexual abuse? On the other, how much better does it make your life to not feel that? Without being too graphic, some of the worst events in my life don’t really upset me at all and I’m a little ashamed of that but I’ll take it because I have so much trauma that does bother me to deal with.
@@1AlexanderCole Exactly. I couldn't have said it better. And are we ashamed of it not bothering us because "society says it should"...it's so confusing to me.
Take stance and stand firm. The flesh stores tension and stress which can lead to temptation and so exercise and dating can help. Exercises such as stretching and cardio. Read the Bible and meditate on it.
If comment on the human condition can fit into one UA-cam short, then they are assuming everyone is the same. Everyone is effected in different degrees by impactful events. In this video it's assumed everyone deals with the shock of trauma by seeking a way to be nurtured. Top extreme sports athletes use the experience of a bad fall immediately afterwards to increase their focus and not let pain become a bad experience by trying to do what caused them the shock while still in somewhat of a state of shock.
He doesn't mean it to be your response to the event. He means the response of the so called support system you have(your parents, siblings,friends etc) If that response is compassionate and accurate, you will learn to respond to such situations better without it causing any lasting damage on your psyche. Your fall back mechanism has to be fool proof.
"The foundation of your safety has not been destroyed." Well put. Explains perfectly why parental abuse and neglect can be so painful and traumatic: The foundation for your safety, which is supposed to be your parents, are the very ones responsible for your safety. If your first foundation is destroyed or questionable, it's truly a miracle to be a productive person later in life. I guess that I am a miracle then: Only college graduate and the only one with a professional job.
Same, I succeeded in spite of them. But only because I am stubborn and refused to let them destroy my me and life. I left home at 14 and slept on the streets. I eventually found my way in life without them.
Im 45 now and my mother is still trying to destroy me with her words. She failed. But I couldn’t see it until I got so sick from her abuse as an adult that I had a stroke and I now need surgery for other issues caused by stress and CPTSD. But still I prevail. I will always win! She has no power over me anymore! She is nothing!
You are a miracle and you are very strong to have survived whatever the issues were. I wish you continued healing.
The hardship create resilience and is a statement of the inner strength we all have. I am same, feel my mother’s upbringing broke me and didn’t let me develop to my full potential, but that has not stopped me in getting where I am in life now. I work lot harder but I’m good 🙂
Yes it is. Been there and my life went downhill. I am about to be 25 years old and have been happy since 2021 to be on my own and with some lovely people whom I wish I had met earlier.
The lesson is just this: Parents are meant to be a solid rock a solid foundation not their children. Some parents can't do that and will never do it, never learn it never realise it but play the blaming game.
I wish you a good life ahead❤
My straight As were a trauma response trying to get their approval.. everything I did was never good enough even though it was expected of me to win and be their perfect little performance machines, I went no contact in 2020 🎉 49 years old here. It’s a silent epidemic.. sick mothers and absent fathers. Stop breeding! Look at the work today omg!!!
So trauma is what happens when you have no one to help you up, makes so much sense.
If you have never been comforted, trauma will knock you out.Then what can you do?
Traumatized parents are so out of touch with their emotions, they won't detect signs of events that shook the child to be there for them, eventually repeating the cycle. Surviving the survivors is a real thing.
Yes, this is true. I was traumatized as a child and therefore I was not there for my children when they were growing up and I ended up repeating the cycle in causing trauma. It breaks my heart. I am just starting my journey to finding healing from all the trauma that I suffered through childhood and an abusive marriage. 🙏🏻
Not traumatized parents: entitled parents do that. As a traumatic childhood survivor i have never treated my child like those monsters treated me. And she's much more peaceful and successful than I am because she's always had someone in her corner. So the cycle ends with me.
@@janny474amen ❤
@@beaberean3842❤ healing has to start somewhere ❤️🩹
@@janny474 yes exactly. I am too moving towards breaking that cycle by being a good mother in future. From all my experience I know how to be, love and care a child.
Its like yes my parents had trauma but that doesn't mean you talk shit about your child and come home treat them like a cold wall.
Keeping hope that their children has to show them good path, be their stronghold, look after them, help them in overcoming the pain they have dealt with cause they cannot accept the mistakes they did. Parents had to be a stronghold no matter what. There are many parents who have went through shit but still doesn't treat their children this way. And here is another world of mine and so many like me.
If one child grow in such environment, it just puts lot of strain on them. I am that example. Growing up there, I have felt sad, felt guilty, felt every feelings except happiness. There is a big resentment in my heart. I just don't hate them but I don't feel anything for them.
But you know I am moving towards a good life and I know I am gonna break it, this stupid shit. I wish every youngster like me will make a good life❤
When you've got so much trauma compartmentalized In your brain that pulling the wrong box out could crush you, you've already realized parental neglect was thw foundation of all that pain
That is a problem when your parents cause the trauma.
Genital mutilation is a tradition!
@@funincluded That is one type of trauma.
I can relate! My hypothesis about this type of trauma is this: people who is supposed to love you (parents, siblings, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend) but are abusers, will seek a trauma response in you as a way to shape up your personality according with their standard of appropriate.
They don't know they are doing it to you, probably, but yes they are doing it. A little trauma here, and a not so little trauma there, and a big trauma once in a while will be necessary to keep you in check in the long run.
You learn to deal, or you go away, or you'll suffer.
It's a lot like taming a wild animal.
@@artifundio1 but they don’t call it “taming” a wild animal…the term is to “break” it. You break a horse. You “break in” a new item by using it and being rough with it to make it easier to use.
@@johnnymac6178 I don't care about your corrections, write your own post. Have some self control.
This is so true that the support you got after the traumatic event really matters. I have two friends, both childhood victims of sexual abuse. One could never tell her mother or father and had to hide it for years and now she has CPTSD. The other one told her mother and father, who protected her fearlessly. She is fine with it. She can talk about it. She does work for organizations that help children of sex abuse.
😢
I can remember the moment where I had no control. Couldn’t look away, couldn’t make any face, couldn’t fidget, every single physical response my body had to trauma was identified and stripped from me. There was a point where i could do absolutely nothing without receiving criticism while being berated. I can feel myself at the moment when I fragmented and the dissociation began. Freeze response is so challenging because it feels like you’re in a burning building and even though the flames are starting to touch you, you can’t react. People always tell me how laid back and calm I am but they don’t understand how much we mask. I may seem stoic on the outside while my mind is screaming and racing with panic and worry or I’m completely checked out. There are so many times I go shopping and all the sudden I’m at the other end of the building as if my brain shut down while I walked around
The burning building reference is a really good one… 🔥 May cooling waters put out those fires of your central nervous system 🌊 🙏🏽🕊️
thank you for sharing..
Foundation of my safety has been destroyed. And a lot of trauma happened since childhood throughout my life, I was almost drowned when I was little, and got scolded at, and she was being cold towards me, I could never forget that. A lot of sa visuals showed on tv when I was like 5-6, no one cared. I just feel this weight in me, I wanna drop it, but when I thought i did, it came back.
This man is a genius. I have read his book. I think he’s a visionary. I have trauma trapped in my body and until I read this book, I didn’t quite compute the full meaning of that.
I was in a mental hospital where they tied me up for nine days without any reason and without allowing me to go to the bathroom and it traumatized me. My parents were there when they let me out but I was and I felt completely alone when they did that to me. I’m still dealing with the consequences that come after the trauma.
❤ hugs so sorry you had to go through that would be terrifying can only imagine.
It is really hard when (almost) nobody is there at that time so you are alone or when people cannot help you. So it gets big.
This book goes great with the mindfulness book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels. Both have helped me develop a good routine.
Thank you!
As a child i cleaned up the blood, then told her where the bruises were (mum was blind)
I hated me for not being able to stop it. I hated me for not being 'good enough' to make family life peaceful.
It was my fault then and it is still my fault.
It was never your fault! Love yourself now for surviving someone else’s malice and for not resorting to the same behaviour 💗
Ouch.
@@MicahScottPnD yeah, sorry, i don't usually reveal so much via social media.
@@Blissfulnessence Sometimes there's real value in semi-anonymity. No call for sorrow, at all. I can relate, is what I mean actually.
@@MicahScottPnD Bless you
This is intriguing because I’ve run across people who sound like they’d blow off the fact their kid was traumatized because their perception is showing concern for someone’s trauma is actually crippling them to become needy. Very very intriguing. I guess those who lack empathy are extremely traumatized individuals who count their strength as camouflage to actually being wounded
And these so-called "strong" individuals further hurt and traumatize others. The neverending cycle, often generational.
It's definitely a complex one
I think the crucial point here is “childhood trauma”. If they didn’t feel safe and protected as a child, their development into adulthood is compromised. They develop defence mechanism to keep themselves feeling safe which continues into their adult relationships
Yes, it overwhems you.
Who is there for you? If any?
If there is no one for you, the trauma
is very upsetting😢
I have lost 3 family members and now 4th is dying...I'm so tired of all this death
We have this book and utilize its deep wisdom in our trauma work. Me as an Animist Minister trainee and my husband as a mental health councilor. Thank you good Sir!
OMG I love this man! Thank you for your amazing work!
...and when it turns out nobody's really there for you, not even your family, you might sink so low into your trauma that you find in there your Self; the Self that was lost long time ago. And then, Thank God, you have someone to overcome that trauma with.
That is a great perspective.
That is so true because after all I’ve been through and also a lot of therapy. I have finally really become myself.
Family scapegoat here, CPTSD. ❤ love to all
Whenever something happened to me as a child my parents told me..."serves you right"..."that's what you get"... Or they just showed disdain and disappointment in me. I NEVER felt safe with my parents (or any other person in my life either). It makes so much sense now why I've struggled with addictions, anxiety, and not trusting anyone.
That’s a very powerful statement: 👇
“The trauma is not the event, it’s how you respond to it”
Noted! ♥️
Right sir ! Foundation of safety is really needed !!
I come from a very unstable life, Abortion Survivor, life on the street, and lots of prison ! In 2018, i was alone and was mauled and left disable, this 6 years ago, and I cant get my life to work, no one was there for me, and still, I am alone and really struggling !
@aggresivehippy - I’m so sorry to read this. So much trauma with no foundation of safety will surely lead to the self sabotage of your life in order to protect yourself, leading to a perpetual cycle. I hope you are, or at least can get to a place where you can seek some help with the right therapist. It sounds like you may not be in a financial position for this to happen. But in my experience when you get to a place psychologically where you really, truly want to get the help then the right situations will present themselves to you for that to be able to happen. But I believe one really has to want it. I’m not saying you have a victim mentality but we’re all victims in these cases, we’ve just got to stop wanting to be one. You will get there. I wish you every ounce of happiness and peace. ❤️🩹
Sorry you had a rotten start in life you didn't deserve that should haven't had to suffer & all that has happened to you very unfortunate but all not wasted I believe. It's never too late everyday is a new day keep putting 1 foot after the other. Be hopeful your life will get better. We have to forgive ourselves love ourselves. Take good care of yourself keep as fit & healthy as you can it makes you feel good about everything gives you more confidence & uoy can put all in perspective makes you appreciate all. Wishing you happier days & that you make better memories from now on 🍀
I so appreciate this explanation. Way too many people toss around the term trauma to refer to anything that upset them that it has lost real meaning when it has specific implications that attention seekers cannot begin to truly grasp.
"That is bc your foundation of safety is not destroyed". ...
My mother and stepfather were the cause of my trauma. No one was there to save me from the belt or the beatings.
It happened to me when I was young with a cat, my mom hugged me so fast and took me away from the cat. I love cats and it doesn't become a trauma
May I thank you for your insight. Never knew it was not the event it is the response.! ❤
För du lämnas ensam , efter trauma. Blir det en stark reaktion. Eller passivitet
Yes, it's when you realize that you really aren't safe, no one is there for you, and life is not fair at all. I learned this when I was 5.
Oh man then I've been broken for life. Cancer at age 8 till 18 then suffer with side effects till late 20s then widowmaker at 31 plus 3 stents then a heart transplant just 9 months ago
On the bright side, brain plasticity never stops :)
So sorry for you. May you find happiness
Sending love and best wishes to you!
@@TheOriginalCameron that just means the life long trauma/PTSD is forever burnt into my brain, kinda what the brain does to protect itself; very much a double edged sword
Well it's relatively much better than "died of cancer" at 8. It's reading more like, "never give up". Make sure you're live for something great then it's all worth the problems
Thank You for this wonderful explanation! It helps me understand me better! 😊❤
Fantastic book and great topic
And when the trauma and unsafely is your parents.... then good luck and god speed in healing. It's time to put yourself first and prioritize YOU.
This guy is a genuis❤
I’ve been traumatized ever since I was born and the trauma included what was being done to me so I’m not sure I agree with trauma not being the event. I believe it’s a combination of both action and response.
Adoptees experience trauma when they are separated from their mothers, even at birth. They are not given a choice of how to react to the abandonment.
Thank you
You're very welcome! 💖
I was not even there for myself in the face of trauma 🙁. I’m fr tweaking.
I’m currently working on my CPTSD and wow, my parents really shouldn’t have had me.
i hope you make it through.. some traumatized wounded people are not even aware of their wound, they cause more pain to others.
@ I don’t have a support system so when I get comments like these I harvest them. Thank you for reminding me that I am self aware because I tend to forget. I send peace your way✨
I wish it was just a dog bite...I had 16 yrs of parental abuse and neglect😢
30 only now staying away
What's the doctors name, please? I'd like to listen to more of his videos.
This speaker’s name is Bessel van der Kolk!
@@The-Well thank you so much!!!
How do I get therapy from this man, if I feel so misunderstood with everyone else I talk to, including my therapist?
Trauma.....
What's that ?
The experience of trauma is really unimaginable.
This is why sexual abuse is so traumatizing as a child because of the shame and embarrassment and thinking that it is your fault you don't tell anyone for 30 years. You grow up not having anyone to help you through it or deal with it because instead of telling someone you've suppressed it as if it never happened.
I spent my childhood hiding, running away. Had tmj a lot as a kid but blamed it on getting hit. Ive been thrown back there after getting my second bout of severe tmj in 2 years. Now im back to hiding and running away. Lol cray.
I wonder if he's done any studies around the effects of genocide and racism on various groups established in the US.
So you need other people...that is step maybe. If you can cope with the situation you will not be traumatised in the first place and/or will recover qiuckly. And it is not the response to the event...it is the perception of it.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Too often the person occupying the space, “Who is there for you?” Takes the side of the dog.
Yes. The ultimate betrayal.
My childhood comfort always came from the animals even though I had severe allergic reactions. I remember being in a bathtub of cool water submerged except my nose and mouth out trying to control the hives, sneezing, itching, difficulty breathing and my mom came in nonchalantly said “did you pet a cat?” I gasped “uh huh” she said “was it worth it?” I gasped again “uh huh” and she left. I didn’t know for many years how life threatening my allergic reactions had been. Still worth it and actually I’m glad because somehow my immune system finally adjusted and I live happily with my cats and no reactions to them!
True
🙏
And all doctors want to do assuming you even get to see one is prescribe drugs. Create a society that doesn't care and create a few billionaires.
So is trauma a violation of safety and if the foundation is gone, then so is the trust and the person no longer feels safe in the situation where it may apply, at least not until they can fully grasp and perceive that the threat is truly gone. Although deep trauma may forever have someone shook with reflexes. Maybe the forever shook person is the one who’s brain changes and is different or does everyone’s brain change in one way or another regardless of whether they achieve resiliency or not? Just thoughts.
It's all about the foundation of your safety being destroyed.
I never had any foundation to begin with
Yes, trauma is something overwhelming that happens to you that you can't make sense of. But unlike this dude's explanation, it is still a trauma if you figure out how to make sense of it or someone helps you make sense of it. In that case, it's just not something that turns into PTSD. The trauma is not "how you respond to it," it IS THE EVENT. That's where this guy goes off the rails. Trauma is the thing that happened. End of story. How you respond is someting else all together. His narrative is bunk.
Agreed, his research is in process. Few years later, he will endorse your comment.
Nobody had been there for me
HOW MANY DRUG....?
"YES"
my parents never liked me.
Sadly I feel this 😔
Hugs.
@@The-Well 🫂
No one was there for me
I respond horribly! Lol
There careers sound in humane.
That all?
You can watch the full video here! ua-cam.com/video/ZKa7V_mV8l8/v-deo.html
What if your childhood sexual trauma doesn't upset you at all...? It should right?
That is not an easy one. On one hand, what kind of person wouldn’t be outraged at child sexual abuse? On the other, how much better does it make your life to not feel that? Without being too graphic, some of the worst events in my life don’t really upset me at all and I’m a little ashamed of that but I’ll take it because I have so much trauma that does bother me to deal with.
@@1AlexanderCole Exactly. I couldn't have said it better. And are we ashamed of it not bothering us because "society says it should"...it's so confusing to me.
Take stance and stand firm. The flesh stores tension and stress which can lead to temptation and so exercise and dating can help. Exercises such as stretching and cardio. Read the Bible and meditate on it.
I don't agree
If comment on the human condition can fit into one UA-cam short, then they are assuming everyone is the same. Everyone is effected in different degrees by impactful events. In this video it's assumed everyone deals with the shock of trauma by seeking a way to be nurtured. Top extreme sports athletes use the experience of a bad fall immediately afterwards to increase their focus and not let pain become a bad experience by trying to do what caused them the shock while still in somewhat of a state of shock.
The Nazism Techniques
So trauma is the inability to cope with an event?
It's what happens after an event you were not ready for happens.
He doesn't mean it to be your response to the event. He means the response of the so called support system you have(your parents, siblings,friends etc) If that response is compassionate and accurate, you will learn to respond to such situations better without it causing any lasting damage on your psyche. Your fall back mechanism has to be fool proof.
Sometimes example is everything.
You are full of yourself.