One time, when our oldest son was little, he was asking for something. I had told him no, so he went to ask Daddy. My husband told him, "You can't ask me for a different answer. Mommy and Daddy don't give different answers." "But why?!" "Because Mommy and Daddy are on the same team." Our son stepped back and looked at us and asked, "How do I get on that team?" 🤣
What a great way of putting that to the kids! I think all kids try that on and if you aren’t pre-prepared or keyed into it, it can easily become a point of contention in the marriage. My daughter is just starting the parenthood journey, I will definitely show her your answer. Greetings from the UK. 😁
I've been married 52 years, we've had major ups and downs during those times, however, at the end of the day, we were able to work through it. The pandemic has made use closer because we only had each other. Love your openness and honesty, because life can through you a curved ball. Also loved seeing pictures of the two of you throughout the years.
My husband and I got married on 7-7-77 at 7:00pm! God’s perfect number!!! We were high school sweethearts and both came to the Lord during a big revival that was happening in our High School! The Jesus Movement! What glorious days. I new that if my husband always loved Jesus he would always love me. We’ve had struggles, but with God’s help we always worked them out. We will be celebrating our 45th anniversary this July and I praise God for this every day!
😂🤣 Oh my gosh!!! The look on Solo’s face when Sarah said “Open marriage”, lol!!!! I couldn’t help but laugh out loud for real….believe me Solo, we knew where she was going with that!!! ❤️😆
When we had been married about 6years my husband went to work in a mill on the midnight shift (11-7). I worked day shift 6-2:30. We saw each other just a few hours a day. But we always found time for us. Once our oldest son was about 14 and he asked me how do you and Dad ever have any time together. I replied, that’s why you kids have a scheduled bed time. It took a lot of planning. We usually didn’t even have the same day off. We celebrated our 54th anniversary in January. I’m 73 and he is 77. Love y’all.
My parents were the same. They actually had a journal where they would jot down little things that happen throughout the day, and swap so they can read during commute the next day. It kept their line of communication open even if they rarely had a few hours to sit down and talk during those few years. Eventually their work schedule synced, and they no longer use the journals, but kept leaving little notes in random places ❤
I read this and idk why but it gave me goosebumps and tears...I've been married 18 yrs this may and my marriage started(5yrs in) the exact same way. My family were all mill workers here in Pa and my husband is from Ohio. We moved here after we got married and he started in the mill with my dad and I was a nurse. Always opposite shifts and it was rough, but we made it work and now 18 yrs later he's been the sole provider for the last 10yrs while I've been Mom and now he's got stage 3 colon cancer and going thru chemotherapy.he had part of his large colon removed in Dec.(he's never had so much as a cold since I've known him and had NO signs or symptoms of cancer except bloody stool 2 months before i made him go for a colonoscopy. Hes 48 and I'm 46. We have treatment #5 tomorrow(2day now). And hopefully only 1 to go after that,long as all 3 C's are clear! Anyhow, got off track but we have 2 sons, they are 15 and 12 and they have been really struggling with Dad being sick and trying to find time for all of us. It feels absolutely awful to not be able to just make everything ok and everyone feel safe and secure,but when I step back and look at our little family, I'm so darn proud of the years and times we've been thru together and I hope and pray with every fiber of my being that we have 18+ more years to go. Sometimes we take off for a nite and get a room and get all our favorite foods and watch the dumbest things on TV and just laugh together. I can't explain why your post made me spill a novel,maybe the mill work, maybe I'm just an over emotional, menopausal looney at the moment(lol), but it stopped me in my tracks long enuf to breathe and look at how blessed and thankful I really am. There's nothing like being in it for the long haul and growing together and finding that balance...no matter the circumstances. Nite before chemo I sit awake all nite like I'm waiting 4 a bomb to drop...so forgive my rambling. If you read this far, hope you have an awesome day! ❤
@@andieluke1366 my husband is always saying words wrong and cracking us up, so I started a notebook years ago I have wrote all his crazy phrases and mispronounced words down for our boys. We still get good laughs at it. We got each other a book when he was diagnosed with cancer in Dec ( from Amazon), called "what I love about you"...we made one for each of our sons and each other and put them away for some time in the future. ❤
Thank you again Sarah and Solo for such a needed Topic. I would like to congratulate you early to your 20 years of marriage together this year 2022. You are such an amazing couple and you have an amazing family whose God is the center. Sara and Solo, I wrote a summary of your 5 practical things for Happy Marriage: 1. Married someone with similar values (God is the center, our faith affects how we live our lives) 2. Having a big family (keeping priorities at home) - remind each other often we are on the same team 3. Equal Acess Marriage - share passwords, access to each other bank accounts, phone, media... 4. Consistent time together - consistent early bedtimes for children at 7pm and then have date nights, create time together-be intentional 5. Respected each other's calling/purpose (everyone is created for something unique, support each other's purpose and calling, there are different seasons in life, there is no competition, but communication-openly sharing dreams and vision to each other, listening, sacrifice on both sides, be flexible. Thank you again Pastors Sara and Solo for such a useful and practical topic about a healthy marriage. We love you all Xx
I loved all your points and the one I find sharing most with others is equal access. It allows for an open and honest communication. I also tell my children that marriage and love is an investment you should make deposits daily and on the harder days give more. I loved the pictures you shared!
I always find your videos very informative and uplifting. My husband and I have been married for 28 years this july (I'm caucasian, he's afghan) and all of your tips are spot on. We have done all of them and that's why I feel that our marriage is strong and still in the honeymoon phase. I look forward to more life coach videos to help others make their marriages fulfilling/rewarding.
Lol what a gorgeous couple you guys are! So much good advice here, I am sure it will help people along. I have been married over 14 years to my best friend, we have four gorgeous kids together. On our wedding day advice was given to us from a friend who was recently divorced. She said “Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.” and we couldn’t agree more. That is something we had done so much of on so many topics before we were engaged and married. It’s still a big part of the success of our marriage. Listening to each other and sharing our thoughts, heart and dreams. When we are on the same page on issues and topics and decisions, life goes smoother. Another bit of advice I would share is that friendship is working through problems together, and remembering that the best is yet to come. Growing together
Thank you for sharing this with all of us. One thing for sure I appreciate the point you made about the Lord being the center of your life and that you were not trying to fit him in. What a beautiful point you made! God bless have a wonderful day!💖🙏😊
My parents have been married 62 years next month - they still have a date night every week, and do sweet things for each other. I'm not married, but I also very much agree with your principle to "be bold" - do what is right in life and don't feel the need to follow others, or prioritize material things. I have experienced my life's most memorable, and precious, moments following this rule..thanks for such a beautiful video!
What a lovely topic. Much needed in today's world. As my hubby and I approach our 30th year of marriage (we are interracial too...but similar cultures (American)...I believe the main thing that has held us together is our shared Christian faith. Sadly, we've seen so many marriages fail over the years. One can overcome cultural differences, financial and health challenges, children and what they bring, etc. IF you can stand together, pray, and believe the Lord will make the way. I love you guys so much! The joy of the Lord radiates first through Solo and you, Sarah, on down to sweet baby Peace. Thank you for sharing your family with the world. People need to see how a loving family can and should be! And may every good and perfect gift continue to be yours. With much love, your sister in Christ, Bethany (in California😊)
Yes...yes...yes... My sweet hubby went HOME 8 yrs. ago...we had a beautiful marriage...i still miss him.....i still dont understand Gods Ways...but....HIS WAYS ARE HIGHER THAN MINE !
What makes watching your family so enjoyable is truly how you two love each other. It is so simple and so wonderful that you both have created a wonderful life together. God bless have a great week.
Ohhh my !!! When you announced open marriage… I almost had a heart ❤️ attack!!! I love how you put communication first !!! It’s so Very important… reaching for your goals !!! I love love ❤️ your videos !!!
Godly wisdom-necessary, needed, practical, powerful and loving! Thank y’all for allowing The Holy Spirit to use y’all to bless and encourage us! 🙏🏾🕊 - 33 years and prospering by God’s grace.
You are one of the sweetest couples. I've been married for 42 years in April. All marriages have their ups and downs. But if you are grounded in your faith and your family, you can handle anything. God Bless you and keep you and your family. 😊
We have been happily married 43 years ( just 3 kids , all married 🥰🥰) ( 4 grand kids🥰🥰) . Every marriage has up and downs, life is life, but communication is the key for us, faith and kindness and love 🥰🥰 I love your channel , stay blessed 🥰🥰
Wise, funny, and precious. Y’all are the real deal. Congrats on 20 years! My husband and I are looking toward our 12th wedding anniversary and our 21st year together. Communication, adoration for each other, time together, and humor are what make us work.❤️
Love your list. One thing my husband and I did when our kids were old enough to stay home alone was go on breakfast dates. We rarely went out at night but our breakfast dates gave us time together to talk and plan and dream. We are now married 21 years, kids have grown up, and we still go out on day dates all the time, one of our favorites being our weekly beach trips during the summer.
My husband & I have been together now for 47 years & what has helped us is putting each other first kids second. If the parents don't have a healthy relationship the family will not be healthy. My hubby is my best friend and we do everything together. Also do not let the sun set on an argument it only causes pain & unnecessary suffering. Show love & respect , it isn't hard to do.
What stood out to me in this video was summed up at the end in what Solo said. "There are two of us in this marriage". Both of you are IN the marriage with God in the center, marvelous! Hugs
I adore you both, your so right ,I'm Christian my husband is Muslim & we both sacrifice so much 'normal' to be together but we work ... we make it work despite cultures, barriers, families, faith 🙏 because we love one another x
It is just so cute when the two of you sit down together like you are now Solo is so dark and those pearly white teeth just shine and those beautiful eyes twinkle while you sit there so pale and white. What is beautiful is when those little brown babies gather around you and everyone can see what your marriage means to God. I just love watching you guys, don’t ever give up your channel because you are setting an example that is so important for people to see. I have shared your channel with so many people in hopes that they will see the true meaning of why God gave all of us life.❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
I enjoyed and learned so much from your video! Even though we have been married going on 54 years this July. We have had some ups and downs thru the years, but we have managed to work thru them. When a couple has been raised in two different homes they can see things differently, but these things can be negotiated and worked out! A while ago my son who has been married 20 years shared with us that he and my daughter-in-law were going to separate. This made me so sad and concerned! I have prayed for them and their marriage for a long time sensing that things were not right! They have a daughter who just turned 13 who is such a smart and talented girl and who is a high honor student. I am concerned about this might do to her. Please pray for them. I believe a strong home is one of the most important things a person have! Much more important then material things. There is no one else involved. They have very demanding and time consuming jobs and they have grown apart. I have prayed that God will speak to their hearts! We only live 2 blocks away from them, but we have always tried to stay out of their affairs and business thinking that they should solve their own issues! Still praying!!! My best to you and your family on this journey called life!
I absolutely love the 2nd point of having the same values. So very important. My husband and I celebrated 46 years in February. We were very young when we married (18 and 19), but yes having the same values do go a long way. Wonderful tips. Thank you for sharing.💜
Love this so much. We had so many people tell us that combining our cultures would be too hard but we always believed in kingdom culture over Nigerian or Australian. Only 5 years in but kingdom culture prevails thus far.
I just discovered your channel. You are all such a beautiful strong family. What a blessing to have such a good example from your family. Thanks for sharing so much. Love your advice! Blessings! ❤
Excellent advice!! We have been married 37 years, and raised 3 kids. We never used babysitters, so we had date nights at home. We would make dinner together, play games, watch movies, or just talk. Even though we can go out whenever we want now, we still prefer our time together at home. I love how strong you are as a couple, and that your adorable kids see you as a team! You are not just telling them how to behave as adults, you are showing them daily, by example. Love to all of you ❤
You two are an inspiration, I'll be sending this to my husband! We have 4 kids and been together for 11 years!! I can't wait to see how far we've come by the 20th year!!
We have been married for close to 40 years and we are still in love. We have fought, extended family has been some of our biggest difficulties, but we have persevered. We too appreciate each other for our differences and the strengths that each of us brings to our marriage. We used to practice date nights and it was fun, must get back to that. My Husband says the most thoughtful things at times, he's not a chattie person, but years ago he said to me, when my sister and I were being "catie" or not nice, he said "I may not always like you but I will always love you ". That was an important awareness for me. We have helped each other to be better people.
The fact that we all have a perspective/purpose and calling that is God given spoke to me. We have respected that to different degrees through our 32 year marriage but it was good to be reminded of it so thank you. Looking at Christian history and the lives of famous and not so famous Christians proves that statement. Thank you. Prayer together too is so important definitely !! Thank you for your testimony together. 😉
OMG I don’t use that phrase loosely. I really wish I could talk to the two of you. I am so grateful so so grateful for this episode. I have been open to hear an answer to a 30 year old question. God placed my answer in your mouths. I am so grateful to God first and I pray continued blessings over your lives lives. I wish this type of information was flowing freely 33 years ago. As of yesterday I am walking free. An elephant size burden has been lifted. I will never forget the two of you for this. It is now putting me into tears for the heightened of liberty that I am experiencing. I have been wondering what the holdup for my healing has been. Continue to bless usI know that getting this answer is going to allow me to walk in the things that God has for me. I will forever remember the two of you for this. Maybe one day I’ll be able to talk to you to really explain what this really really has done for me. Thank you
My husband and I have been married 34 years and we had the same faith, always put God first, our marriage second and kids third. Prayer is key to a great marriage, couples that pray together are stronger.
I think you mean transparent instead of open. No secrets.Transparency is built on a foundation of trust and leads to intimacy/closeness not limited to sex. Having the same faith and values is so important because that is how you set priorities with times and finances plus that is how you will raise your children.
Love the pictures ❤ Great to see the progression of the kids..Communication is the key, too .Happy 20th Anniversary ❤❤❤ ( almost) "Fight together " ...words to live by,Solo ❤❤❤
This is the first time I write a comment on UA-cam . I want you to know how deeply blessed I’ve been. I certainly agree that in marriage God desires unity NOT uniformity . I dare say HE delights in making us ONE through out our lives and not as many of us thought that it only took an hour during our marriage ceremony… I’m the first one to admit that I’ve really learned how to LOVE and I’m sure my dear husband would testify also that we have both grown to be more like Christ. I do agree on NO reservations. I often say , “ONE for All and all for ONE !” Meaning we trust enough to not keep anything hiding since we trust and respect one another . I pray we all finish the race well as we encourage one another with humble hearts as we pass the legacy to our next generation for God’s glory . Thank you for reminding us to be centered on Christ who alone can build our homes . Sending my gratitude and love in Christ to you and your precious family❣️
Congrats on your (almost) 20 years of marriage. 🙏🏽🙏🏽👍🏾👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I appreciate your 5 tips, but especially making time for each other. I agree that it doesn't have to be expensive, but just "on purpose". My husband and I have been married (almost) 32 years, and only had one child to raise. But, outside influences (ministry, work, extended family) has taken the front seat for many years. One of my regrets in life, now in my mid-50s. May God continue to bless you with creative ways to keep your family together and on the right track.🙏🏽🙏🏽
I feel like finding someone who truly shares the same VALUES as you is the biggest thing. From personal experience I can say that when it comes to family/kids that can end up being a huge problem.
Out of all of the channels I am subscribed to yours if the absolute favorite that I look forward to. You both give such great advice on so many parts of life. I love watching you and your family. It's really great to see "real life" on youtube
the one thing that stuck out to me was respecting each ones calking! my husband is not as verbal as I am but he does and I do respect each others profession and calling!
I love your channel. While we are not faith based the basic principles work and I enjoy it all! We had our 12 year anniversary on 2/22/22 and it’s not always easy! We are complete opposites! Yin and yang though. But what makes us work for us is supporting each other. Some successful ventures/ideas/wants.. some not so much. Where I lack he prospers and vise versa. We have very different backgrounds!! So that has been harder for me to adjust to. Above our bed is always kiss me goodnight! Don’t ever go to bed mad!
I love all of those practical things. I totally understood the "open" marriage thing too. My husband is also a pastor and we do not keep any secrets. We have access to each others phones, emails, all stuff. We also made it a point that we would never be alone with someone of the opposite sex. That helps to make sure there is nothing that looks inappropriate. He would not meet with a woman alone at church either. Happy Sunday and blessings to ya'll!!
You are both lovely people who make a lovely couple. My husband and I have always been so happy driving around and talking. Better than a Broadway show . God bless you both and your sweet family.💝
Sarah and Solo you guys are wonderful loving to each other that is why your children are wonderful and beautiful because of the love you 2 share 🙏🏻✝️❤️☮️💗💜🌹🌷♥️
I think a good title for #3 is an All Access Marriage.😊 This is great advice and my husband and I have followed these as well. We will be married 22 years in June.
My Mother said, "Never take your arguments to bed with you." Everything you & Solo have said is so true. Build on what brought you together. You both have done just that. A beautiful wonderful loving family. 😊👍
Great points! One problem for me was not realizing how our values could change after having kids and experiencing parenting. I’d say my husband and I had very similar values, but parenting woke up different things within each of us and we have always struggled to keep same values after the fact. All the more reason to really wait on God’s clear direction rather than fitting your God into your life. I think that’s THE best tip! 🙌 Only He knows the unknown.
Liked all 5 suggestions. We are about to celebrate our 53rd anniversary and all I would add is a shared sense of humor has played a vital role in keeping us happily united and committed to each other. We make each other laugh. Sounds trite but it is healing during life’s difficult passages.
My husband and I have been married for over 33 years and one thing about our marriage is we have always communicated. Communication is so very very important. If more couples would listen to each other, and not want to argue, but communicate it would be more marriage’s that survive. Sending hugs, love, prayers, kindness and smiles. By the way U2 have great smiles.❤️🙏🏼👍🏼🌹
You two are so much like my husband and I were. We were married almost 25 years. George was unfortunately taken from us in a motorcycle accident. I love to watch how you both look at each other so lovingly. I miss that so much. I loved everything you both said because it was all true. You both would make great marriage counselors ❤️
Priscilla, I'm so sorry you lost your best friend...but happy for the years you had together. Some women never get to experience love in a healthy relationship. You are blessed AND I believe you will see him again! Hugs 🙌
This is off subject from this video but I just wanted to thank you for your video on your misscarriages. I just lost my sixth baby on February 7th at 12 weeks 5 days. I have 5 kids so I'm so greatful. I had covid when I got pregnant. I never got a positive test till 9 weeks never happened to me before. I stuggled being angry with God because I got so sick with covid and took so many meds. I like you feel like God is supposed to plan that part of my life. For this loss I had a d&c because I was further along and had one misscarriage that went badly. I'm 41 soon to be 42 and my youngest is 19 months. I too I'm stuggling with wanting another after seeing that sweet baby. With the dnc I have to wait a minimum of 3 to 6 months. I suffer from a blood clotting disorder which does not help. I will be checking into your book. God made me strong,, we even walked though a late second trimester loss. I'm so greatful for your channel.
I'm so sorry for your loss😔..May you meet him or her in heaven one day and may you conceive and give birth to a beautiful healthy baby soon...in Jesus name ! Amen!❤
Love hearing your thoughts and perspectives on marriage. You two are such a strong couple. And I love your honesty. I almost spit out my coffee when you said open marriage. I knew what you meant. But I knew someone was gonna think something else. Lol. My husband and I have been married 21 years and have 4 sons13,16,18 and 20 and communication has alway been a big part of our success as a couple. Really listening to the other person.
Loved this video. Would be wonderful if you developed an online pre marriage course with all these trip and advice. It would save many a wrong trip up the aisle and down the divorce court.
Great thoughts and perspective on marriage. I’m newlywed 4 months and first Marriage hubby and I values are similar which makes a big difference when making life decisions. This is a great share as I’m learning this married life.
We were really young (18 & 19)when we got married. But two things we purpose not to do. One fight (my husband parents fought all the time) If we disagreed we walked away, cool down and talked. We often reminded each other to listen to our hearts. Second commitment, divorce isnt an opinion (my Mom had commitment issues. I had a revolving door of step dads). Neither of us had a relationship with the Lord. That didn't come until we were married 9-10 years. Praise the Lord we have been married 41 years now.
One time, when our oldest son was little, he was asking for something. I had told him no, so he went to ask Daddy. My husband told him, "You can't ask me for a different answer. Mommy and Daddy don't give different answers." "But why?!" "Because Mommy and Daddy are on the same team."
Our son stepped back and looked at us and asked, "How do I get on that team?" 🤣
🤣😂😅How do I get on the team?
lol
😂
What a great way of putting that to the kids! I think all kids try that on and if you aren’t pre-prepared or keyed into it, it can easily become a point of contention in the marriage. My daughter is just starting the parenthood journey, I will definitely show her your answer. Greetings from the UK. 😁
This is so precious! 🤣
I've been married 52 years, we've had major ups and downs during those times, however, at the end of the day, we were able to work through it. The pandemic has made use closer because we only had each other. Love your openness and honesty, because life can through you a curved ball. Also loved seeing pictures of the two of you throughout the years.
My husband and I got married on 7-7-77 at 7:00pm! God’s perfect number!!! We were high school sweethearts and both came to the Lord during a big revival that was happening in our High School! The Jesus Movement! What glorious days. I new that if my husband always loved Jesus he would always love me. We’ve had struggles, but with God’s help we always worked them out. We will be celebrating our 45th anniversary this July and I praise God for this every day!
😂🤣 Oh my gosh!!! The look on Solo’s face when Sarah said “Open marriage”, lol!!!! I couldn’t help but laugh out loud for real….believe me Solo, we knew where she was going with that!!! ❤️😆
I came to make this same comment ( but looked first). I agree the look on his face was well ummm..."priceless"
yes, his face when she said open marriage made me chuckle. Even though i new where she was going with it. lol
🤣😂🤣 you’re absolutely correct. I had to rewatch it once I seen your comment and his facial expression was priceless 😂
I cracked up to. 🤣
I also laughed at the look on Solo’s face. And the jerk of his head. Lol
When we had been married about 6years my husband went to work in a mill on the midnight shift (11-7). I worked day shift 6-2:30. We saw each other just a few hours a day. But we always found time for us. Once our oldest son was about 14 and he asked me how do you and Dad ever have any time together. I replied, that’s why you kids have a scheduled bed time. It took a lot of planning. We usually didn’t even have the same day off. We celebrated our 54th anniversary in January. I’m 73 and he is 77. Love y’all.
Wow...
Congratulations 👏🏿 🎊
My parents were the same. They actually had a journal where they would jot down little things that happen throughout the day, and swap so they can read during commute the next day. It kept their line of communication open even if they rarely had a few hours to sit down and talk during those few years. Eventually their work schedule synced, and they no longer use the journals, but kept leaving little notes in random places ❤
I read this and idk why but it gave me goosebumps and tears...I've been married 18 yrs this may and my marriage started(5yrs in) the exact same way. My family were all mill workers here in Pa and my husband is from Ohio. We moved here after we got married and he started in the mill with my dad and I was a nurse. Always opposite shifts and it was rough, but we made it work and now 18 yrs later he's been the sole provider for the last 10yrs while I've been Mom and now he's got stage 3 colon cancer and going thru chemotherapy.he had part of his large colon removed in Dec.(he's never had so much as a cold since I've known him and had NO signs or symptoms of cancer except bloody stool 2 months before i made him go for a colonoscopy. Hes 48 and I'm 46. We have treatment #5 tomorrow(2day now). And hopefully only 1 to go after that,long as all 3 C's are clear!
Anyhow, got off track but we have 2 sons, they are 15 and 12 and they have been really struggling with Dad being sick and trying to find time for all of us. It feels absolutely awful to not be able to just make everything ok and everyone feel safe and secure,but when I step back and look at our little family, I'm so darn proud of the years and times we've been thru together and I hope and pray with every fiber of my being that we have 18+ more years to go. Sometimes we take off for a nite and get a room and get all our favorite foods and watch the dumbest things on TV and just laugh together. I can't explain why your post made me spill a novel,maybe the mill work, maybe I'm just an over emotional, menopausal looney at the moment(lol), but it stopped me in my tracks long enuf to breathe and look at how blessed and thankful I really am. There's nothing like being in it for the long haul and growing together and finding that balance...no matter the circumstances. Nite before chemo I sit awake all nite like I'm waiting 4 a bomb to drop...so forgive my rambling. If you read this far, hope you have an awesome day! ❤
@@andieluke1366 my husband is always saying words wrong and cracking us up, so I started a notebook years ago I have wrote all his crazy phrases and mispronounced words down for our boys. We still get good laughs at it. We got each other a book when he was diagnosed with cancer in Dec ( from Amazon), called "what I love about you"...we made one for each of our sons and each other and put them away for some time in the future. ❤
I love your wedding picture! Absolutely gorgeous couple-then and now!
We just celebrated our 60th anniversary. Four children. Your advice for marriage is excellent!! I could not have said it better.
Thank you again Sarah and Solo for such a needed Topic. I would like to congratulate you early to your 20 years of marriage together this year 2022. You are such an amazing couple and you have an amazing family whose God is the center.
Sara and Solo, I wrote a summary of your 5 practical things for Happy Marriage:
1. Married someone with similar values (God is the center, our faith affects how we live our lives)
2. Having a big family (keeping priorities at home) - remind each other often we are on the same team
3. Equal Acess Marriage - share passwords, access to each other bank accounts, phone, media...
4. Consistent time together - consistent early bedtimes for children at 7pm and then have date nights, create time together-be intentional
5. Respected each other's calling/purpose (everyone is created for something unique, support each other's purpose and calling, there are different seasons in life, there is no competition, but communication-openly sharing dreams and vision to each other, listening, sacrifice on both sides, be flexible.
Thank you again Pastors Sara and Solo for such a useful and practical topic about a healthy marriage. We love you all Xx
"Seeing the person make decisions the way you would make decisions." EXCELLENT advice!! That spoke to me so clearly!
We commit to pray daily, never leave each other without connecting, and a kiss 💋, and laugh together every day.
I loved all your points and the one I find sharing most with others is equal access. It allows for an open and honest communication. I also tell my children that marriage and love is an investment you should make deposits daily and on the harder days give more. I loved the pictures you shared!
Love the deposit analogy!
@@andieluke1366 it has served us well. We do it with our children as well.
I always find your videos very informative and uplifting. My husband and I have been married for 28 years this july (I'm caucasian, he's afghan) and all of your tips are spot on. We have done all of them and that's why I feel that our marriage is strong and still in the honeymoon phase. I look forward to more life coach videos to help others make their marriages fulfilling/rewarding.
Lol what a gorgeous couple you guys are! So much good advice here, I am sure it will help people along. I have been married over 14 years to my best friend, we have four gorgeous kids together. On our wedding day advice was given to us from a friend who was recently divorced. She said “Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.” and we couldn’t agree more. That is something we had done so much of on so many topics before we were engaged and married. It’s still a big part of the success of our marriage. Listening to each other and sharing our thoughts, heart and dreams. When we are on the same page on issues and topics and decisions, life goes smoother. Another bit of advice I would share is that friendship is working through problems together, and remembering that the best is yet to come. Growing together
Thank you for sharing this with all of us. One thing for sure I appreciate the point you made about the Lord being the center of your life and that you were not trying to fit him in. What a beautiful point you made! God bless have a wonderful day!💖🙏😊
Praying together, my husband and I have been married for 40 yrs in July .it’s praying together that has kept us together praise God !
Love this! Praise God!🙌🙏🏻😊
Love your family! Please keep my husband in your prayers as he has been diagnosed with cancer. Thank you.
@@lifeintheslowlane5602 thank you so much!
Thoughts and prayers to your husband 🙏🏼 Priscilla ~ from New Jersey
Will mention you and your husband in my prays God is in control keep the faith.
Sending Prayers!🙏
@@priscillarobinson7740 We truly appreciate it and God bless!
My parents have been married 62 years next month - they still have a date night every week, and do sweet things for each other.
I'm not married, but I also very much agree with your principle to "be bold" - do what is right in life and don't feel the need to follow others, or prioritize material things. I have experienced my life's most memorable, and precious, moments following this rule..thanks for such a beautiful video!
I am Sharing this video with my three children who are 20, 21 and 23. Thank you ♥️
What a lovely topic. Much needed in today's world. As my hubby and I approach our 30th year of marriage (we are interracial too...but similar cultures (American)...I believe the main thing that has held us together is our shared Christian faith. Sadly, we've seen so many marriages fail over the years. One can overcome cultural differences, financial and health challenges, children and what they bring, etc. IF you can stand together, pray, and believe the Lord will make the way. I love you guys so much! The joy of the Lord radiates first through Solo and you, Sarah, on down to sweet baby Peace. Thank you for sharing your family with the world. People need to see how a loving family can and should be! And may every good and perfect gift continue to be yours. With much love, your sister in Christ, Bethany (in California😊)
Beautifully said ❤️
Yes...yes...yes...
My sweet hubby went HOME 8 yrs. ago...we had a beautiful marriage...i still miss him.....i still dont understand Gods Ways...but....HIS WAYS ARE HIGHER THAN MINE !
💜💜🙏🏼💜💜
True... The Lord radiates thru them
@@dewuknowHIM Hugs.. Be Comforted by the great memories you built together
Beautiful picture!! You two are perfect for each other! Great advice for upcoming young people starting out!!
Shared values and beliefs spoke volumes to me.
All good advice. You’re a good match together.
That wedding picture... Solo was super happy! Beautiful.
So Sweet!💕💕
God bless this family 👪
What makes watching your family so enjoyable is truly how you two love each other. It is so simple and so wonderful that you both have created a wonderful life together. God bless have a great week.
Agree!💕💕
@@majoroldladyakamom6948 sometime voice to text is tricky
Thanks for sharing! Looove the pictures!💕💕 May the Lord continue to Bless your union!
...not an 'open marriage'...
shared communication, resources & respect.
A blessed marriage with healthy boundaries.
🌻
Ohhh my !!! When you announced open marriage… I almost had a heart ❤️ attack!!!
I love how you put communication first !!!
It’s so Very important… reaching for your goals !!!
I love love ❤️ your videos !!!
“Your effort is multiplied when you are in true unity”
Love that so much!
Solos explanation of each parents roles (even though they maybe different roles but still requires significant work ) hits the nail on the head.
Godly wisdom-necessary, needed, practical, powerful and loving! Thank y’all for allowing The Holy Spirit to use y’all to bless and encourage us! 🙏🏾🕊 - 33 years and prospering by God’s grace.
Such wonderful advice! I do believe having a (joint) strong faith conviction provides the opportunity to work together as a successful unit.
I have been married almost 44 years. And I was so proud of you two saying the things you said. This is why I love this family.
You are one of the sweetest couples. I've been married for 42 years in April. All marriages have their ups and downs. But if you are grounded in your faith and your family, you can handle anything. God Bless you and keep you and your family. 😊
This is great.video . And very encouraging that you are not ashamed of the Gospel
We have been happily married 43 years ( just 3 kids , all married 🥰🥰) ( 4 grand kids🥰🥰) . Every marriage has up and downs, life is life, but communication is the key for us, faith and kindness and love 🥰🥰 I love your channel , stay blessed 🥰🥰
amen, respect
What I like about your family is that everyone supports each other. You can see it in how the children reacts to each other and towards you
Super, I really enjoyed this couple.
They are a blessing especially for their children.
Wise, funny, and precious. Y’all are the real deal. Congrats on 20 years! My husband and I are looking toward our 12th wedding anniversary and our 21st year together. Communication, adoration for each other, time together, and humor are what make us work.❤️
LOVED how you approached this in such an approachable way! Praying it helps many families!
Love your list. One thing my husband and I did when our kids were old enough to stay home alone was go on breakfast dates. We rarely went out at night but our breakfast dates gave us time together to talk and plan and dream. We are now married 21 years, kids have grown up, and we still go out on day dates all the time, one of our favorites being our weekly beach trips during the summer.
My husband & I have been together now for 47 years & what has helped us is putting each other first kids second. If the parents don't have a healthy relationship the family will not be healthy. My hubby is my best friend and we do everything together. Also do not let the sun set on an argument it only causes pain & unnecessary suffering. Show love & respect , it isn't hard to do.
You have a cleaner !,That is it ..
What stood out to me in this video was summed up at the end in what Solo said. "There are two of us in this marriage". Both of you are IN the marriage with God in the center, marvelous! Hugs
Great advice and encouragement!
I adore you both, your so right ,I'm Christian my husband is Muslim & we both sacrifice so much 'normal' to be together but we work ... we make it work despite cultures, barriers, families, faith 🙏 because we love one another x
It is just so cute when the two of you sit down together like you are now Solo is so dark and those pearly white teeth just shine and those beautiful eyes twinkle while you sit there so pale and white. What is beautiful is when those little brown babies gather around you and everyone can see what your marriage means to God. I just love watching you guys, don’t ever give up your channel because you are setting an example that is so important for people to see. I have shared your channel with so many people in hopes that they will see the true meaning of why God gave all of us life.❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
I enjoyed and learned so much from your video! Even though we have been married going on 54 years this July. We have had some ups and downs thru the years, but we have managed to work thru them. When a couple has been raised in two different homes they can see things differently, but these things can be negotiated and worked out! A while ago my son who has been married 20 years shared with us that he and my daughter-in-law were going to separate. This made me so sad and concerned! I have prayed for them and their marriage for a long time sensing that things were not right! They have a daughter who just turned 13 who is such a smart and talented girl and who is a high honor student. I am concerned about this might do to her. Please pray for them. I believe a strong home is one of the most important things a person have! Much more important then material things. There is no one else involved. They have very demanding and time consuming jobs and they have grown apart. I have prayed that God will speak to their hearts! We only live 2 blocks away from them, but we have always tried to stay out of their affairs and business thinking that they should solve their own issues! Still praying!!! My best to you and your family on this journey called life!
I absolutely love the 2nd point of having the same values. So very important. My husband and I celebrated 46 years in February. We were very young when we married (18 and 19), but yes having the same values do go a long way. Wonderful tips. Thank you for sharing.💜
Love this so much. We had so many people tell us that combining our cultures would be too hard but we always believed in kingdom culture over Nigerian or Australian. Only 5 years in but kingdom culture prevails thus far.
I just discovered your channel. You are all such a beautiful strong family. What a blessing to have such a good example from your family. Thanks for sharing so much. Love your advice! Blessings! ❤
Excellent advice!! We have been married 37 years, and raised 3 kids. We never used babysitters, so we had date nights at home. We would make dinner together, play games, watch movies, or just talk. Even though we can go out whenever we want now, we still prefer our time together at home. I love how strong you are as a couple, and that your adorable kids see you as a team! You are not just telling them how to behave as adults, you are showing them daily, by example. Love to all of you ❤
You two are an inspiration, I'll be sending this to my husband! We have 4 kids and been together for 11 years!! I can't wait to see how far we've come by the 20th year!!
We have been married for close to 40 years and we are still in love. We have fought, extended family has been some of our biggest difficulties, but we have persevered. We too appreciate each other for our differences and the strengths that each of us brings to our marriage. We used to practice date nights and it was fun, must get back to that. My Husband says the most thoughtful things at times, he's not a chattie person, but years ago he said to me, when my sister and I were being "catie" or not nice, he said "I may not always like you but I will always love you ". That was an important awareness for me. We have helped each other to be better people.
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The fact that we all have a perspective/purpose and calling that is God given spoke to me. We have respected that to different degrees through our 32 year marriage but it was good to be reminded of it so thank you. Looking at Christian history and the lives of famous and not so famous Christians proves that statement. Thank you. Prayer together too is so important definitely !! Thank you for your testimony together. 😉
OMG I don’t use that phrase loosely. I really wish I could talk to the two of you. I am so grateful so so grateful for this episode. I have been open to hear an answer to a 30 year old question. God placed my answer in your mouths. I am so grateful to God first and I pray continued blessings over your lives lives. I wish this type of information was flowing freely 33 years ago. As of yesterday I am walking free. An elephant size burden has been lifted. I will never forget the two of you for this. It is now putting me into tears for the heightened of liberty that I am experiencing. I have been wondering what the holdup for my healing has been. Continue to bless usI know that getting this answer is going to allow me to walk in the things that God has for me. I will forever remember the two of you for this. Maybe one day I’ll be able to talk to you to really explain what this really really has done for me. Thank you
I’m single and I love your message and your family!❤️
You guys were made for each other! God continue to bless you both with double portions!! 💖
My husband and I have been married 34 years and we had the same faith, always put God first, our marriage second and kids third. Prayer is key to a great marriage, couples that pray together are stronger.
I think you mean transparent instead of open. No secrets.Transparency is built on a foundation of trust and leads to intimacy/closeness not limited to sex. Having the same faith and values is so important because that is how you set priorities with times and finances plus that is how you will raise your children.
Love the pictures ❤ Great to see the progression of the kids..Communication is the key, too .Happy 20th Anniversary ❤❤❤ ( almost)
"Fight together " ...words to live by,Solo ❤❤❤
This is the first time I write a comment on UA-cam . I want you to know how deeply blessed I’ve been. I certainly agree that in marriage God desires unity NOT uniformity . I dare say HE delights in making us ONE through out our lives and not as many of us thought that it only took an hour during our marriage ceremony… I’m the first one to admit that I’ve really learned how to LOVE and I’m sure my dear husband would testify also that we have both grown to be more like Christ. I do agree on NO reservations. I often say , “ONE for All and all for ONE !” Meaning we trust enough to not keep anything hiding since we trust and respect one another . I pray we all finish the race well as we encourage one another with humble hearts as we pass the legacy to our next generation for God’s glory . Thank you for reminding us to be centered on Christ who alone can build our homes . Sending my gratitude and love in Christ to you and your precious family❣️
So beautifully said. Thanks for your comment!
Congrats on your (almost) 20 years of marriage. 🙏🏽🙏🏽👍🏾👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I appreciate your 5 tips, but especially making time for each other. I agree that it doesn't have to be expensive, but just "on purpose".
My husband and I have been married (almost) 32 years, and only had one child to raise. But, outside influences (ministry, work, extended family) has taken the front seat for many years. One of my regrets in life, now in my mid-50s.
May God continue to bless you with creative ways to keep your family together and on the right track.🙏🏽🙏🏽
It is hard and I understand. Thanks for sharing!
I feel like finding someone who truly shares the same VALUES as you is the biggest thing. From personal experience I can say that when it comes to family/kids that can end up being a huge problem.
Out of all of the channels I am subscribed to yours if the absolute favorite that I look forward to. You both give such great advice on so many parts of life. I love watching you and your family. It's really great to see "real life" on youtube
the one thing that stuck out to me was respecting each ones calking! my husband is not as verbal as I am but he does and I do respect each others profession and calling!
I love your channel. While we are not faith based the basic principles work and I enjoy it all! We had our 12 year anniversary on 2/22/22 and it’s not always easy! We are complete opposites! Yin and yang though. But what makes us work for us is supporting each other. Some successful ventures/ideas/wants.. some not so much. Where I lack he prospers and vise versa. We have very different backgrounds!! So that has been harder for me to adjust to. Above our bed is always kiss me goodnight! Don’t ever go to bed mad!
The quarterback and running back analogy is great!
JUST AMAZING wisdom here!!!
I love all of those practical things. I totally understood the "open" marriage thing too. My husband is also a pastor and we do not keep any secrets. We have access to each others phones, emails, all stuff. We also made it a point that we would never be alone with someone of the opposite sex. That helps to make sure there is nothing that looks inappropriate. He would not meet with a woman alone at church either. Happy Sunday and blessings to ya'll!!
You are both lovely people who make a lovely couple. My husband and I have always been so happy driving around and talking. Better than a Broadway show . God bless you both and your sweet family.💝
I agree that faith is so important in your marriage. You are such a beautiful couple thank you for being a shining example to us all!
Sarah and Solo you guys are wonderful loving to each other that is why your children are wonderful and beautiful because of the love you 2 share 🙏🏻✝️❤️☮️💗💜🌹🌷♥️
Funny how seeing the two of you always reminds me of Rodgers and Hammerstein “The King and I” characters Anna Loenowens and King Mongkut of Siam.
You're both such beautiful people, I love the way you communicate. Solos reaction to open marriage made me chuckle
Thank you for sharing, good to remember ☺️
I think a good title for #3 is an All Access Marriage.😊 This is great advice and my husband and I have followed these as well. We will be married 22 years in June.
My Mother said, "Never take your arguments to bed with you." Everything you & Solo have said is so true. Build on what brought you together. You both have done just that. A beautiful wonderful loving family. 😊👍
Great points! One problem for me was not realizing how our values could change after having kids and experiencing parenting. I’d say my husband and I had very similar values, but parenting woke up different things within each of us and we have always struggled to keep same values after the fact. All the more reason to really wait on God’s clear direction rather than fitting your God into your life. I think that’s THE best tip! 🙌 Only He knows the unknown.
Liked all 5 suggestions. We are about to celebrate our 53rd anniversary and all I would add is a shared sense of humor has played a vital role in keeping us happily united and committed to each other. We make each other laugh. Sounds trite but it is healing during life’s difficult passages.
Beautiful relationship ❤, and family 👪!!!!
14 years of marriage in may. I appreciate this video so much. Super Cute pictures
Such a beautiful family sometimes I don’t prey but as soon as I wake up I thank god for the morning day everything I wauld love to hear yourservive
My husband and I have been married for over 33 years and one thing about our marriage is we have always communicated. Communication is so very very important. If more couples would listen to each other, and not want to argue, but communicate it would be more marriage’s that survive. Sending hugs, love, prayers, kindness and smiles. By the way U2 have great smiles.❤️🙏🏼👍🏼🌹
Thank you! You are so right! Been married 50 years
You two are so much like my husband and I were. We were married almost 25 years. George was unfortunately taken from us in a motorcycle accident. I love to watch how you both look at each other so lovingly. I miss that so much. I loved everything you both said because it was all true. You both would make great marriage counselors ❤️
Priscilla, I'm so sorry you lost your best friend...but happy for the years you had together. Some women never get to experience love in a healthy relationship. You are blessed AND I believe you will see him again! Hugs 🙌
Oh my...i am in the same boat...my hubby "uncomfortably" went to his Heavenly Home and I still despretely miss him.
Wow...thanks for sharing this!
This is such a great video. Wish all the world could see. It’s what I tell my kids - find someone with your values and beliefs #1.
This is off subject from this video but I just wanted to thank you for your video on your misscarriages. I just lost my sixth baby on February 7th at 12 weeks 5 days. I have 5 kids so I'm so greatful. I had covid when I got pregnant. I never got a positive test till 9 weeks never happened to me before. I stuggled being angry with God because I got so sick with covid and took so many meds. I like you feel like God is supposed to plan that part of my life. For this loss I had a d&c because I was further along and had one misscarriage that went badly. I'm 41 soon to be 42 and my youngest is 19 months. I too I'm stuggling with wanting another after seeing that sweet baby. With the dnc I have to wait a minimum of 3 to 6 months. I suffer from a blood clotting disorder which does not help. I will be checking into your book. God made me strong,, we even walked though a late second trimester loss. I'm so greatful for your channel.
I'm so sorry for your loss😔..May you meet him or her in heaven one day and may you conceive and give birth to a beautiful healthy baby soon...in Jesus name ! Amen!❤
Thanks for your comment and sharing your story. Some things we will never know but I always have to trust the God does.
Love hearing your thoughts and perspectives on marriage. You two are such a strong couple. And I love your honesty. I almost spit out my coffee when you said open marriage. I knew what you meant. But I knew someone was gonna think something else. Lol. My husband and I have been married 21 years and have 4 sons13,16,18 and 20 and communication has alway been a big part of our success as a couple. Really listening to the other person.
Y’all are a beautiful couple and y’all have shared awesome advice!
This is helping me in my 32 year marriage !
You two are fabulous. Thank you for sharing your lives with us.
I think your family is wonderful . May God bless all of your family 🙏🏼
Loved this video. Would be wonderful if you developed an online pre marriage course with all these trip and advice. It would save many a wrong trip up the aisle and down the divorce court.
You are so equally yoked. God Bless. Your channel is a blessing.
Thanks for sharing. Loved the pictures a lot...
Great thoughts and perspective on marriage.
I’m newlywed 4 months and first Marriage
hubby and I values are similar which
makes a big difference when making life decisions. This is a great share as I’m
learning this married life.
Thank you Sarah and Solo! Really, thank you! This video bis much needed!
Oh my word! Solo could be Judah’s twin in you wedding photo!
We were really young (18 & 19)when we got married. But two things we purpose not to do. One fight (my husband parents fought all the time) If we disagreed we walked away, cool down and talked. We often reminded each other to listen to our hearts. Second commitment, divorce isnt an opinion (my Mom had commitment issues. I had a revolving door of step dads). Neither of us had a relationship with the Lord. That didn't come until we were married 9-10 years. Praise the Lord we have been married 41 years now.
Love your story!
My husband is a pastor as well, and it’s definitely can be rewarding and trying.
Very informative and helpful Solo reminds me of myself 😃searched for better words and he carries himself as a Pastor with his mannerism 🏆 Awww
This was wonderful. Thank you for sharing.