Consequences of Over Protected Children - Jordan Peterson
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2023
- #shorts #motivation #jordanpeterson
Speaker : Jordan Peterson
Original Podcast : • Consequences of Over P...
UA-cam : @VALUETAINMENT
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#motivation #selfimprovement #personaldevelopment #podcastcorner #parenting #overprotected
Statistics show that the majority of soldiers who earn the Medal of Honor or the Victoria Cross tend to be the oldest brother of brothers and sisters.
Ya but main question is do these heroes use right pronouns and are they racist! 😂
@@DarkoFitCoachcmon now 😅
@@DarkoFitCoachhonestly if they protect me I couldn't give a fuck.
Actually even if they did not I still don't give af lolol
Counter point: This it to be expected. Victoria cross was first awarded in 1854, up until ww2 and in some places in 1st world even little after that families had many children because children we're still dying often at the time.
@@Melissabarroc and neither of you have earned military metals 👌
Parents also play favorites when they’re multiple children. The competition between siblings is real.
I grew up the eldest of 5 siblings living in a 1,100 square foot home with both parents ! Dad worked 10 to 12 hours 5 days a week and occasionally worked a second job, while my mom was a full-time homemaker ! We almost always had at least one of our friends, and usually more visiting after school ! Weekends and summer days especially were loaded with extra kids in the home ! We socialized plenty ! I'm 65 now and my mom recently passed away at the age of 85 , and lot's of those kids who are now nearly retired themselves came to the showing and funeral to pay respects and tell my dad how they felt so much at home at our house ! They felt part of the family !
Beautiful ❤️
❤
That sounds lovely ❤
Interesing that every filipino I know has the similar story.
@SpitfireRoad My story is in Ohio, and I'm as white bread as you can get ! I don't believe I've ever met a Filipino !
Also if you're the only child of an only child, now not only do you not have siblings, you also have no cousins 😢
me, im the last in line to carry on the name it fucking sucks
My daughter’s best friend has siblings but both of her parents are only siblings so they have no cousins. She loves coming to our house where I have 4 kids and my kids have 14 cousins so far. Our house is crazy and loud but that’s why she comes over all the time.
@@lissaharreall of that is such a gift ❤ you are blessed!
Gosh so true
My four grandchildren are from two families. I am so delighted to say that they are being raised a lot like siblings, so life is richer for both sets of children. I was never raised around cousins, and was a middle girl. Would have loved to have been raised with the cousins around. (Peggy)
I grew up the youngest in a family of 9. It taught me quite a lot. Now that I have grown old, there are only 4 of us left, but have many nieces and nephews. But, I dearly miss my brothers. RIP
I have 10 younger siblings, I’ve always said that I learnt the toughest leadership lessons during infancy.
My nana had nine kids. Having a big family is great . My other nama had four
Better than the beat down the beat down the youngest get, or the total neglect a middle child gets. Oh I had to grow up first, whaaaaaaa. 😊
Mom of ten here! I agree 🥰
Giving too little is just as bad as giving too much. Dropping your kids in a survival state is not the answer.
This is so true. When families used to have 4, 5 kids they'd all be there for each other and teach & socialize each other. Now, there's such aloneness. No siblings.
I agree! I have 4 brothers and had a beautiful older sister who is gone now. Prayerfully, I'll see her in heaven. My brothers are all wonderful and I'd never wish for any better. My sister set the standard of being a lady for me. Love them all exceedingly well!❤️
I don't have siblings either, but I have always had good friends WHO were Like siblings to me.
I had three brothers and sisters, I have a much greater affinity for my friends. It didn’t help me to be in a large family not one bit.
I have 6 children ranging from age 26 to 35 next month. Their father was a dent I st, starting his second career while we started our family. I homeschooling them all , part of homeschooling meant learning life skills, food shopping, cooking, cleaning a home, both my daughters and daughters were taught to clean bathrooms, shop for bargains and helping others out . I did not I t want my children. to be spoiled because their dad was a dentist. For Christmas they each received a toy and an outfit. If you asked my adult children if they felt they had enough toys , they would say yes. We did have a large library of books and different types of music. They were not isolated socially , they were with people of all ages , rather than just those in their age group. They work very hard can shop clean and cook . My second son bought himself a house at age 26 He is single and enjoys the home he is working for , I am proud of him ,he knows the value of money and buys only necessary things of better quality
The siblings would be there for each other. Not the parents. The parents had to work their asses of and couldn’t provide all their children with needed attention. Stop romancizing the past.
Also with 10 children there's only so much butt whooping you can do before your hand gets tired and you say, "F it. Y'all fight it out. I'm going to sleep."
😂😂😂😂
we hope you never have children.
Agree with this exception. My parents were in their late 40s when I was born. All my siblings were grown & married.
I grew up around much older people & learned a lot about life by listening & watching them interact. Was never spoiled on any level. Raised my kids with the same values and ethics and both are successful happy adults.
Thank you for sharing. We have grown children and started over. All his siblings are grown. I'm always afraid of what impact this will have on him
You are essentially an only child then, and he did not state people like you as an exception.
But it's not the same.
I’ll have my kids after 40ty too
Exactly my life also. 💎
When my elder sisters left the home, the sudden amount of I got, I hated it. I was happier with the split attention, because when I messed up, I was gonna hear about it twice as much.
As an only child I felt that overprotection when I left for University really hard. Thank god my parents also taught me enough for self retrospection and intelligence to realize it made me weak so I could force myself out of my shell to mature without their guidance.
This is true. I was an only child. My parents socialized me frequently, my mother is very extroverted so I was around other children a whole lot. But I had trouble adjusting to other children's cruelty. Competition I was good at but the rest left me very confused.
I could listen to this guy talk all day
Listen there’s no perfect family situation - too many kids ? Then someone is feeling left out or ignored or bullied or doesn’t have enough money. Only child? You’re lonely, too much focus or pressure on you from your parents, too coddled. Both have its pluses too.
We have to adapt to whatever situation we’re born into and not use it as an excuse to be an angry, lazy loser
My dad told me once that when I was 2 years old, an old woman saw him with me in his arms outside the bus (we didn’t have much money back then) and cam to him to say this « there is nothing worse than having only one child. You have to at least give your son another sibling because he won’t grow up properly otherwise ». Now I do believe that she was somewhat right because it’s the easiest way to learn about sharing, about caring for someone else and about giving the right exemple. I always remember when I got candies in school I would always get another one specifically for my sister, and that’s not something I would have done otherwise
Happy people will look at the past and be grateful for the hardships.
Miserable people will look at the past and blame the hardships.
The point is we learn how social trends affect children and the future generation and then we can make changes. I think having no siblings is far worse than having “too many”. Large families are part of the evolution of our species. We’re social creatures and our family is our first experience with society.
"it's never perfectt so just stop talking and pay more of my national debts off for me" hmmmmm....ok boomerleech
im the oldest of ten and i haven't experienced that at all. i think it more has to do with the parents than the number of kids
I grew up as an only child and the amount of attention and speculation I received was insane and unmanageable. I hate to put it this way but sometimes I wish I had a sibling just to take some heat off of me or be able to deflect off of myself. When you’re alone all the attention is on you and everything is picked apart to the nth degree
I was a single parent at 36. You have described what I did to my son. Now he hates me. I hope he will get past that for the sake of his soul. I love him for his own qualities. "The joy of parenting".😊😢😮😊😊😢😮😮😮
I was a single parent as well. It's tough. I loved raising my daughter but I did wrong by making her my life. Bad idea. Hard to move on when they grow up and leave and they are not with you every day. And the partners they choose! Even when they ask your advice it's a ploy. It's BS. I spoiled her rotten and loved her too much.
God bless you. Pray and God will work miracles. It's important to continue to stay in contact even if they don't want to. I made a lot of mistakes when she chose idiot men. Should have kept my mouth shut. Just keep the lines of communication open and pray. Especially pray. God bless you🙏✝️❤️
I had one child because I couldn't have more. I did over protect. There is great value in allowing your child to fail. Swooping in hurts them by not allowing them to solve there own problems and Lear failure in some things does not mean you are a failure. It teaches get up, brush yourself off, keep going.
I am one of those overprotected only child kids I never been more happy 😅 finishing my PhD in another country. You guys are crazy to have multiple children
That over protection really hits hard in todays day and age. Too many hugs not enough kicks in the ass.
Literally just filmed a video talking about the over coddling of children.
Yeah not enough competition.😂
I have 3 brothers. I wouldn't be who I am without them.
Daycare costs 17,000 for a newborn. How in gods name does anybody afford 2 or 3 kids?
Honesty great question! I have no idea. @@matthewm9261
@@matthewm9261Sounds like a western problem
I grew up with 11 siblings, 4th oldest brother. I was fortunate to be born in this position as I was able to learn from the mistakes of my older 3 siblings. Now that I’ve done that I am a month from turning 20 and I’ve been married nearly half a year and I am already minutely successful with a lot more coming up soon. My parents were particularly poor so my younger siblings being able to see the lives all 4 of us older kids live gives them a perfect platform to decipher what decisions are best to follow, my younger brother is a bit of a hooligan, he’s the 3rd youngest but he’s so tough for 10 years old and he’s a mirror copy of me, he learns best from my council which I find to be incredibly interesting as my parents sometimes struggle to get him to listen, although they are very respectable, he wouldn’t skip a beat to heed advice from me. It’s truly a wonderful thing being apart of such a big family. Resources are thin but the livelihood of my family is a level people wouldn’t understand unless they lived with us, only few friends of ours truly grasp it.
My older sister is sociopathic malignant narcissist. She was my tormentor, she practiced her sadistic abuse skills (beatings, choking, water boarding, gaslighting, etc.) on me that she refined to go on later to destroy the lives of others, some of whom committed suicide. My sibling is from hell and so glad to have cut her out of my life, never to allow her near me again.
same. mine claims she didn't humiliate me daily and purposely torment me constantly.
Your sister needed to be spanked!
Same here. My mother was a psychopath and tortured all 6 of us. So glad she is DEAD. I do not understand why I was born to such a sick psychopathic animal. She was no mother.
I had the same father
Same with mine.. one of 5 and I had an awful childhood. My parents should never have had all these children but they wanted a boy. My mother is a narcissist who pitted us all against one another so none of us are close. Only two of us had children. I have a son and a daughter and one of my sisters has a daughter too. So, out of 5 children there are only 3 grandchildren..that speaks volumes. ..
Also, my parents did not put a lot of pressure on me because I have so many siblings, as families with one child tend to do. People without siblings have told me how much their parents expect from them and how mentally exhausting it is.
Siblings toughen you up - that is true but at the same time they can also cause psychological damage that lasts a lifetime.
Seems like whatever the option is, they all have a good chance of causing psychological damage to you. Having siblings, being an only child, having children yourself, not having children, etc. Everything is risky.
Life is a ZERO SUM GAME. Everything you do could do damage to you and those around you. Even doing nothing.
I one of eight and they still act like jealous little children. I'm the second youngest and went to military, college, and in charge departments worth millions of dollars. Some people are still stuck in their child phase. I legitimately rolled my eyes and went somewhere else. I cant go back decades ago on something so unimportant to me now.
@@moratuwamaleke6923 I am not against siblings by any means. I love my brothers but being the youngest can be tough at times especially when the remarks of the middle brother are intentionally passive aggressive in a way that makes you feel bad, and you don't even hardly realize what he has been doing to you for years.
@@markmark2469hurt people hurt people.
@@Kirokill1 Well he was mostly very insecure and so he had to always put me down or try to make himself seem more important. It is what it is, but possibly an absentee father didn't help.
This is just full of honesty and wisdom! What I love most about him it’s his sincerity to deliver a message that benefits humanity!
As Muslim woman I learn so much him.
I have 6 siblings, brothers and sisters. My place in my family has shaped me as a person. I have kids of my own now, and while I am hesitant to have more than 2 kids, I desperately want them to experience that sort of dynamic.
Not like a random comment on UA-cam matters, but yeah bring 1 more at least 😅. ❤️
Go for it in few years time you will either regret or have have big family.What is feel better??
Exactly i say this with my children.. siblings toughen each other up
I'm the 7th of 10 children from the same parents. Jordan is right, it's tough being in a big family because children don't hold back, and parents are preoccupied with providing a comfortable home, so we each learned our place the hard way in the pecking order. 😂😂
I learned how to go from intense shyness to being tough as nails when it comes down to it. 💪🏼❤️🩹
Nobody can put a beat down, total azz whooping on you like an older sibling. We used to get into all out Wars with each other, always in the field because the house was off limits during aggression. It would start out a conflict between two and end up a melee with kids from miles around on either side.
When the parents came home to black eyes and busted lips no one would say anything about what happened, it was between us kids.
Good to see you Dr. Peterson and thank you for sharing this wonderful words of wisdom! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
God bless you and your family! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I had four brothers, they were all amazing, they taught me so much, and taught me a lot of life lessons, that came in handy as I was growing up . We took care of each other, we pulled our pranks on each other... There was 7 of us.. we had good times most of all...
Just one sibling makes a difference
My parents each had 10 siblings and they worked hard, all of the men enlisted in the military. I’m a nurse of 41 yrs and my work ethic came from both my parents. You are so right, life/families today are wayyyyy different.
Nah bro, I am an only child and I’m glad I had all the resources just for me. I had a great education that I would’ve never had if I had more siblings. You can’t obviously overprotect 10 kids, the same way you can’t give 10 kids quality education all equally.
We were five siblings (we are 4 now) I cannot imagine my life without them.
We are five siblings in my family too. My condolences for your lost one, I can’t imagine that pain. Life is much richer to have people who know you like they do
Oh to be the only, precious, child of a couple with resources!
I agree with Jordan Peterson 100. I was the youngest of five and I went through exactly what he described. And it taught me not to take crap from anybody and to fight for what I believe in.
Children are our future and our most valuable resource.
I have three younger brothers, and yeah, they made me tough when we were young. Now that we're getting older, they've started to be protective because I've started dating, they're growing into being men and its the sweetest thing. I want to have 7 kids for this reason
Love this guy, xx
My biggest regret in life is that I stopped at 4th child
I am the youngest of 10 literally! And it is true we did not have to be scheduled to death and was never bored or lonely and taught discipline and respect!
Guilty as charged. One of our kids made the observation that our biggest failing as parents was to love them too much. The consequences have been devastating.
even with one little sister, my mom made it a point that she was the precious one. i was only toughened up by my sister because i was raised essentially to be my mom's free childcare by the age of 11 until i was 18. i learned to use the laundry machines, dishwasher, stove, oven, check books, lawnmowers, and even chainsaws so my sister could be taken care of, my sister is in her mid 20's now and still doesn't know how to use a dishwasher. and when it came to resources, my family gave everything to my sister but not me, especially when i did need those resources or would've appreciated some of the opportunities that were just handed to my sister when i had to work for them. i hate to say it, but i'm more than happy that i wasn't favorite child, i was forced to toughen up and grow up very quickly, while my sister is still a soft, spoiled child. on a side note, parents, please don't make the favorite child so obvious, it'll severely ruin the siblings' relationship over time and in adulthood
My heart goes out to you.
You should never have felt less than your sister in some ways. And continue seeing the bright side of life, you are tough and hard working. Hope your parents see that someday.
@@CelineShiko thank you very much for your kind words. I wish the best for you too.
Yes over protection and over providing🙌
My mom's family had 7 children. The more children you had back then was more free labor on the farm and around the house. Also, the oldest often looked after the younger siblings. It's crazy to think of the difference 40 years has made.
My adult son won a play fight at work against a guy who have trained and fought in MMA.. when the guy asked where he learnt his skills he said.. my siblings we fought all the time. Its true they did they were forever bouncing off each other..
Had one child wish I had had a chance to have a lot more.
I grew up in a family with 8 kids, I agree. My brothers laugh at pain 🤣
My parents had 10 girls. With little resources. I count myself very lucky .
As someone with 7 siblings this subject is fascinating, because my family basically had 2 subsets of kids that were raised differently - the older 4 and the younger 4. The older set was raised by young parents who had almost nothing but the younger set was raised by older parents who were very well off, and you can actually see a marked difference in ambition and worldviews. It's not quite that stark obviously since the changes were gradual, but still very interesting to see.
Give please an example what are main difference between older and younger set of siblings 😊
Me exactly thank you ❤
As one of 11 kids it's totally true. I worry about how to teach my kids to be resilient because they don't have to compete for everything like we did.
Nowadays families can’t afford having so many children. Things have become so expensive yet the salaries stay the same.
Makes me want to have 4 more!!
I come from a big family (aunts/uncles have 10+) and can testify this is true!
This is so true my parents went through a few miscarriages before i was born. 😭 So when i was Born i was wrapped up in cotton wool though out my childhood as a result and i’m an only child so i got spoiled compared to my friends and cousins who had multiple siblings
Facts!!!!!! Sooooo true!!!
When there’s a lot they don’t get enough attention and so traumatized when less they’re not as tough like whatever these psychologists say contradicts their own work leaving us confused
He's absolutely right
I have ten Siblings and JP is right. I got very LITTLE attention and I felt like I brought myself up. I had ONE child.
Beautifully quoted ❤
I did my share❤my kids did their share ❤ I have 5 great grandchildren so far. Do your share❤
So true ❤
As the 8th of 10 children, I can verify it made us tough.
Helicopter parents are micro managers of their kids - always hovering over them, shielding, advising and coddling. However, developing resiliency is what kids truly need to navigate this uncertain world.
I have eight brothers and sisters to this day I do not talk to any of them I have no reason to
Straight facts brah
The pressures of being the only is immense. You have to get it right, you’re the only one.
Being an only child SUCKS!!!!! No one to watch your kids, no one to vent to about the parents you share upsetting you, no one to encourage your limits through healthy competition. No one to share looks and or manorisms, no one to borrow stuff from, no one to argue about what actually happened 10yrs ago at the bbq and they broke their arm. No one to go on adventures and trips with you. No one to give a speech at your wedding. The list goes on and on. 😭😭Trying not to be a crybaby but I definitely still get emotional on this subject as an almost 40yr old only child.
I guess its good that I did not repeat the trauma. My first pregnancy brought twin boys ☺️
He is so awesome.
Studies show that children from parents in their 30s end up better than children from parents in their 20s...
My children are grown-up now...I believe I was overprotective.
I come back every year. 😊 gave a like and watched the ads lol
U are so right 🎉
Growing up with siblings toughened us up ...we never expected to get all we wanted. Instead, we were told to enjoy our day and be home by lunch or dinner. Was it safer for us to go out on our own? No, i believe that there were more people watching kids and less opportunities for creeps ... thats why we survived our childhoods.
Wow!! So true!
AMEN. 🙏🙏
Statistics shows that most of Athletes Champion had 3+ siblings
Yeah that's WHY elite tanked childcare and tanked education. Only children have less guidance and follow teacher absolutely
Most people have siblings so it's not exactly a surprise that champions would have 3+
This is so true
Hats off sir
Mother of 8 and can confirm this is true.
about only one child so truth 😢
Me and my husband were both 1 of 8 siblings. We are bringing our 6th (last) child into the world soon.
So true
My siblings taught me sooo much growing up. I really had no idea until I was older how much I learned from them. One time my sister got a new shirt and I loved it and I wanted to wear it so bad. She said no, she wanted to wear it first. I was so disappointed. Later in my life when we got older, I got a new shirt and my sister loved it. She said to me, can I borrow it after you wear it? I let her wear it first. She showed me the importance of morals and consistency in life. I know when I speak to her I can take her words for truth.
My brother and I fought like cats and dogs. We were super close in age and he legitimately had adhd which made him overwhelmingly obnoxious. As I got older and saw how great of a human being he turned out to be, I felt sooo bad for the times I hit him, or made him feel ashamed or sad. I have talked about it to my kids often as a parent. I can tell them from experience that one day your will regret the hate you out on your siblings. Change it now because you can’t take it back. They taught me about strength, love, forgiveness, kindness, greed, selflessness, relationship, respect, and the list goes on and on!
Spot on
Youngest of 10 here. Sounds about right.
As someone with nine siblings, I can confirm this is true but it's a good thing to have more siblings. I cannot imagine my life without ALL my siblings. It would not be the same and all my siblings agree. We feel bad for people that only have one sibling or are an only child. Kids like this tend to get more lonely and depressed and don't it's harder to find a babysitter while the oldest sibling always watched the younger kids when my mom needed to go shopping. I noticed people without siblings are more entitled and selfish because the never had siblings who could teach them how to share. Everything was just handed to them by their parents. It's better for a child's growth and development to have siblings. Kids encourage each other and strengthens the entire family. Conflicts and arguments are a normal part of growing up. Sibling relationships build a person's character. This also helps siblings learn important values and life skills.
So so so true!
True That ! Always truth and Wisdom out of this Man
💞💞💞💞me some Jordan Peterson...truly n angel among us💞💞💞
I have 9 siblings and I wouldn't trade them for the world!
Well said
You are right. I had one at 36 & I had to make sure he was college ready. I now think he is an over achiever.
Exactly!
I disagree.Parenting is more important than the no of kid's. You wouldn't want to raise a brood when you don't have enough resources. You wouldn't know how many of them grow up emotionally damaged when the Parent was absent.
There is a difference between having fewer resources and having enough resources. He didn’t mean “it’s better that there are more children with not enough”. There is a balance that is most optimal is all he means. I am an only child and I am the case he is describing where a child gets too much. If I had two other siblings I most likely would be better socialized and more resilient. I had to spend my whole life learning how to be resilient and not naive because I had too much as a child.
Nobody asked for your opinion tho, these are some statistics and knowledge by a clinical psychologist, and you aren't one
Dead on right... I was expected to do everything for myself... I worked as a kid... construction... I went in army at 16 and combat.....I got into fights at school.... Not from classmates rough neighborhood...
❤❤❤ is. Expandable gift. Make time for each child, even if 10 or more siblings. Interpersonal skills learned from & with siblings, b4 going into world unprepared & unscathed.😊
I was to my mother 2cd born. To my father 3rd born. My father walked away from all of us.
I acted like the eldest because my older brother acted like an only child. So I cared and protected my younger siblings. He'd often try to steal their food and I'd stop him. This caused huge fights (yes physical fights) in our teen years. As Id stand up for them. After my mother had a stroke I had to raise my younger siblings and become my mother's carer. My older brother moved out of home and we only saw him 2-3 times of a number of years. Until he became homeless and we took him in.
Siblings definitely can shape your character.